One Week on Tinder - No Good Has Come From It

[@shelteredopal]

Your house is so cute from what we can see in the background. I just wanna say you are so endearing and i wish you success in your dating life! Don't give up, you're learning a lot ❤

[@Bowie94960]

I met someone on a dating app and went on a few dates with him. He called me on the way out the door one evening and I asked to call him back because I was about to hang out with friends. I said something that indicated that one of my friends (just friend) was male. The guy I went a few dates with went silent for a few days and then sent me an unhinged message about only wanting to date someone who is serious and not wanting to see me again. There was a lot of imagination involved in this message 😅 it definitely hurt to be accused of something but in the end definitely glad he took himself out to the trash for me.

[@llJessRawrll]

Just some advice, but unless a guy has explicitly told you a time, a date, and a place, just assume that no date is taking place. Don’t bother waiting around all day for a guy to ~maybe finalise plans with you. Just go about your day as you want to, and if he’s interested, he will organise something with you. But let him do that, don’t try and push for a date with a guy that can’t be bothered to plan anything. That way you’ll avoid disappointment in future. Hope you find someone lovely that treats you right:)

[@ashalia11]

Thank you so much for this advice!! Its so true!! I got so overly excited because I have no chill that I didn't really stop to think. I am working on not getting ahead of myself!! Haha!!

[@carolynj6144]

The last guy you mentioned that unmatched you after asking to hang out the next day reminds me of one guy I talked to that accused me of leading him on when he asked to “hang out sometime” and I said “sure! I’m already booked this weekend but I am free all week next week.” He sent me paragraphs about how he’s not going to let me lead him if I’m never planning to meet in person. Mind you, it was Thursday night when he told me he wanted to “hang out sometime” and I was telling him that I was free as early as the following Monday so it wasn’t like I was putting him off for a really long time lol. I think sometimes people get burned on the apps and then they take it out on people who were not planning to hurt them and I feel like maybe that was the case with your last guy 😂 in any event, you probably dodged a bullet if he’s going to quit that fast

[@ashalia11]

Yes! Other people's mistakes are definitely part of the problem!! There's so many profiles out there that are so negative!! Even though these apps keep knocking me down, I always try to approach each match brand new and not let the past cloud my judgment! Anyway, im glad you dodged a bullet with this guy...its not great when they act like that but also, thank you dude for seeing yourself out...haha!!

[@karolinalinda5324]

Ashley honey, first of all big hugs. Second Thing please listen to older virtual stranger who wishes nothing but happiness and health for you. If man does not comfirm time and place prior to date day please consider ot a big fat maybe question mark. If he's interested in meeting you HE WILL confirm in advance or very early on the day Don't hang around waiting, don't send prompt messages questioning. If he will go MIA and then text you really late in the evening either ignore or tell him you have plans. This is the only way. I know it's hard but do you really want to meet a man that is so rude to you by disrespecting your time so freely? Answer is no. You deserve better. Much love from Poland

[@raredreams217]

I'm sorry for these bad experiences :( Guys can have a completely different mindset with online dating, and a lot less courtesy! They will show their lack of care early on through their actions. The second guy sounds like he had red flags, not setting a time to meet initially and his ambiguity around the date shows a lack of consideration for your time on his end. I know the anxiousness is a real thing when you haven't heard back or confirmed plans, especially if their words say one thing and their actions say another. Our minds will spin a million excuses for them. But, I would recommend not waiting around for any guy and not texting again to check-in with them. It's hard to set these boundaries, but you don't deserve this behavior! If they are inconsistent, it shows a lack of respect on their end. It is hard to adapt to this mindset, but it is good to realize that not every man deserves your kindness, thoughts and consideration. If you are feeling anxious over their actions or lack thereof, 9/10 they are not the man for you. A decent man will not have you guessing his intentions. Sending you love and encouragement and hoping things get better!

[@ashalia11]

Oh my gosh! Yes! So much yes to all of this!! Setting boundaries is something I am working on for myself!! I always try to remind myself of that notion of if you're confused then it's a no...which is so so hard for me to accept some times!! But in working on it!! Thank you for all of this great advice!!

[@martainroth2588]

Yes, we have a different mindset because we can swipe 100 times to get 1 match and then only 1-10 women will send more than 5 worlds. Then only 1-100 women will actually give you a real number to call them up and actually meet and not be asking for an apple gift card before meeting.

[@nadjap5218]

Awww, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that!!! 😢 It really was so rude of him to let you wait around all day and then to not message you anymore!! BUT you have to keep in mind that this is not your fault at all! It doesn't have anything to do with how you acted or anything else! When I listened to the story I got the impression that he really wanted to meet you but he was getting afraid and postponing the date and then he got afraid again. That was not on you! The problem was him!!!! Maybe he didn't tell you something about him and then got afraid to meet you! YOU have to know that it wasn't your fault! It's frustrating and it's sooooo sad and I know how bad that must have been for you! But as long as you don't know his motives it's soooooo important that you know that it wasn't your fault! Don't let it get you down!! Sending you hugs!!! 🫂🫂🫂

[@ashalia11]

The frustration and sadness comes from the never ending singleness, not really this guy specifically!! But I keep going and trying again!! Im not gonna give up!! Thanks for always being a friend!! 🩷

[@nixon3598]

Society is broken.

[@MrEhcks]

Guys who are inconsistent and flakey act that way because they can. They have lots of options. They can upgrade their evening plans on a moments notice which is why on your end it seems flaky and unpredictable. They do this shit because a) it works for them and b) because they can.

[@ashalia11]

Just because some CAN easily "upgrade" and change plans doesn't mean they can't say something as simple as "hey I changed my mind" or "I won't be able to make it anymore"

[@MrEhcks]

@@ashalia11 you are correct. However people these days find it easier to ghost. Blocking someone you never cared about is a lot easier than actual communication. This also allows them to avoid seeing the hurt fallout they may have caused. It sucks but most people are garbage these days.

[@sasha20232]

Honey, sweatheart your soul is angelic and please please please remember not all humans ( men or women ) are angelic majority who live in USA are mammon humans due to culture. Stop putting your soul through this trauma and get into meetings like (coda and acoa for about 1 year straight ) your LS in the brain will recognize this demonic creatures from 3-5 min of talking to them. Dont muddy your energy with this people because then your nervous system will not recognize a human for your soul. Sending you strenght and safe journey! Your earth sister !