Online Dating: Are We In Hell?

Thanks to Keeps for sponsoring this video! Head to keeps.com/wisecrack to get 50% off your first order of Keeps hair loss treatment.
Does your love, indeed, cost a thing?
You don’t have to be on your 25th Tinder date this month to know that online dating can be exhausting. But is this model of finding love completely unprecedented, or is it the inevitable outcome of centuries of courtship being mixed with capitalism? Let’s find out in this Wisecrack Edition on Online Dating: Is Love Just a Commodity?
Subscribe to Wisecrack! ► wscrk.com/SbscrbWC
Support us on Patreon! ► wscrk.com/32Q7huu
Check out our Merch Store! ► wisecrack.store/
=== Watch More Episodes! ===
HER - Why You Suck at Dating ► wscrk.com/3ciAwrJ
The Accidental Fascism of You've Got Mail: What This 90's Rom-Com Is Really About ► hwscrk.com/3gTjB2G
Is Tinder KILLING Love? - 8-Bit Philosophy► wscrk.com/3sOL9vI
Written by CoRri Vaughan and Amelia Buzzell
Hosted by Michael Burns
Directed by Elizabeth Yarwood
Editing and Motion Graphics by Jackson Maher
Produced by Olivia Redden and Evan Yee
Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound
#OnlineDating #Tinder #wisecrack
© 2022 Wisecrack / Omnia Media, Inc. / Enthusiast Gaming

[@matthewsommerville88]

Getting happily married before the rise of online dating is like buying NYC real estate before the 2000s lol

[@brent4073]

You honestly can't escape it.. I married a woman I met on tinder. Tried for kids even before she freaked out on the fertility drug Clomid and left me in 10 days... Yeah, this hookup culture has absolutely devasted our society and is leaving behind a scorched earth of trust issues behind it.

[@deathtouchltd]

Been with my wife for 12 years, and I got with her when I was 21. Never been happier. She has never been happier. We both say all the time we wouldn’t like the dating scene now. We have a kid together. We graduated college together. We both have careers. Our kids(I have one from a previous relationship) are super happy and spoiled. And we got to deal with life’s hardest battles together. Can’t put a price on that.

[@dinos9607]

This young generation has a propensity of unloading the ailing "dating scene" in western type societies up to the internet and especiall the dating apps. This of course is not true since the dating scene was already going off long before the apparition of Tinder and the likes. Sure apps made it worse but it is not that prior to them there was some ideal era where the average man had a chance. In my understanding and from what Ii see around the only change it made was that it increased the average woman's body count. A body count which was already too high prior to the internet in western type societies. So if back in the 1990s your average 20something had a body count between 5 and 10 guys, today that rose up to between 15 and 20... but when you see it globally you will quickly identify the problem already being there back in the 1990s. 5 to 10 guys for a 20something woman is already a lot and such a woman is not anymore suitable for marriage and raising kids. The internet did not do that to her, it is the sexual liberation that did that to her, the pill, the abortion, the lack of social outcry, and the mass promotion of female labour. These are the roots of the problem. Dating apps merely accentuated it. If you still disagree just check divorce rates back in the 90s. Record high. It was not the internet causing them, nor dating apps.

[@LadyGameProfessor]

Yup. Super sucks for those of us who met our spouses before dating apps and are now thrust into it due to loss of a spouse. =(

[@Nicole-fb6fr]

😂😂😂😂😂 Great comparison!

[@steamynators8365]

Online dating is exactly the same as applying to a job online. You have your quick intro of why you should be picked and you have countless people doing the same, competing with you. It makes it so easy for the hiring company or dating site to shift the blame onto you for not being qualified enough to land a job or a partner, when there's only so much you can do and so many people to compete against. It feels powerless and hopeless. You're literally gambling your time and sense of self-worth away for a small chance that a random person, who has never seen you before in their life to accept you and move forward with you.

[@Jotari]

How is that any different from applying for a job offline?

[@steamynators8365]

@@Jotari offline you have to go in-person to drop your resume, the accessibility is more restricted and you at least have some interaction with a person working in the place. It's not just a place where anyone can just drop their files compete with people all over the world and just end up as a word doc page to whomever works in the company. Offline allows for a lot more nuances than the restrictive one-way online application formularies

[@syrollesse]

Its true. Also people won't be willing to give you their time and take things slow. You have to move quickly and if you're hesitant and need time to get to know someone they move on and find someone else. When there are so many options, no one is gonna be good enough

[@Jotari]

@@steamynators8365 I think you overestimate the power that the person sitting at the front desk who throws your resume into a box has.

[@pinkdelicious655]

And most of those jobs aren't worth a shit anyway. People stress over the call back when really you're doing THEM the favor.

[@_GeneralMechanics_]

I tried online dating, and felt like I was paying for the 'privilege' of being rejected. That's not counting the times I was ghosted, dumped before meeting, and once nearly being catfished for $500.

[@TheDSasterX]

Wow, you got matches!? Lucky...

[@tommytomthms5]

@@TheDSasterX No you are the lucky one. seriously, exact same story as OP. right down to the 500 dollars. seems like a common pricepoint or maybe same catfish.

[@e3vL1]

@@TheDSasterX You have to be over 6 feet and a super model to meet minimum requirements

[@_GeneralMechanics_]

@@e3vL1 That was a second problem, apparently 5'9" is considered a growth spurt for dwarfism. A primary problem was I didn't meet the "MUST LOVE JESUS!!!!" prerequisite that always seemed to be the dealbreaker.

[@r2dezki]

You were paying?

[@hafezali860]

As a socially awkward, generally introverted person, the idea of online dating seemed perfect for me. I don’t easily make contacts with people IRL, so meeting people online seemed like a great way to expand my options, and raise my chances of finding someone who shares my interests. Well, all the above couldn’t be far from the truth. I tried multiple different dating apps, and I quickly started to feel disgusted by how this whole thing works. It encourages quantity over quality, and superficiality over authenticity. So I totally agree with your take that dating apps will push you into treating both people and yourself as products to be sold and exchanged. Fuck dating apps, they SUCK!

[@Raziel312]

Same. My look could best be described as "guy you couldn't pick out of a lineup." What are these apps but being made to participate in a massive lineup? "Number 7, step forward and say the line." "Hi! I'm number 7. I like walks on the beach and finding new restaurants to try." I just don't have the flash needed to stand out in a sea of options.

[@fernandoi8958]

If only we could develop an app for authentic people and match them together 🤣

[@fernandoi8958]

@@Raziel312 most people dont, thats why the main point is to "fake until you make it"... thats why the op is talking about "superficiality over authenticity"

[@hafezali860]

@@Raziel312 I would definitely describe myself the same way, and I used to think that’s a problem with me that I will never be able to get rid of. However, after my short-lived experience with dating apps, I realized that there’s no inherent merit in “standing out”, or inherent fault with not. In fact, that’s mostly relevant factor for one-night stands and hookups, but it almost doesn’t matter when it comes to forming real human connections.

[@hafezali860]

@@fernandoi8958 that’s very true. People who stand out are just better at “marketing” themselves according to pointless, and ultimately meaningless, standards. They just know how to turn themselves into the “perfect product”, whatever that might be. Nothing is necessarily wrong with that, but taking the case to its limit, as is the case with the culture of dating apps, calls for disdain from my side.

[@crowofcainhurst]

Being single is 100 times better than participating in this online dating cringefest. Call me old school but the idea of curating my profile so some stranger can swipe right me and start a relationship is just out of my mind. It feels like I'm living in a dystopian society.

[@D4rk3clipse]

That's because you are living in one.

[@harrisonthompson]

yes the dating apps are a nightmare truly but they arent a total scam. keep in mind that dating was always a nightmare... i too hate dating apps but still managed to meet someone that i love. im just so glad that i kept going for a couple years and found her you know?

[@crowofcainhurst]

@@harrisonthompson Good for you congrats. Sure I'm not eliminating the possibilites you can actually found your soulmate from an online dating app but mustering the motivation to start a profile and wait until someone swipe right me is still incredibly uncomfortable. I think it all depends on your self confidence and whether or not you can easily trust people you barely know.

[@Daemon1995_]

That’s because we are living in one

[@princespaceblades]

You’re in a simulation

[@johnnyperez298]

Social media and it’s consequences have been a disaster for the human race

[@the_exegete]

you mean capitalism

[@Dexter037S4]

you mean the industrial revolution

[@freeguy3751]

This comment should get 10k likes

[@mrm0nty550]

You mean the invention of agriculture

[@kristofkovacs1742]

@@mrm0nty550 You mean the taming of fire

[@syrollesse]

I hated online dating because of the expectations it puts on you. You're supposed to be romantic right away. You're supposed to have sex right away. I can't move that fast with people, I don't think I could date someone who I wasn't at least friends with at first and got to know outside of that expectation.

[@undeadblizzard]

Wait, you are supposed to love the people you lay ?

[@lennertcornette]

Yeah but that's not going to work out because men want to continue rapidly because we know you all have 100 dudes waiting to take turns. That's why we ask for dates immidiately. Women like to talk about nothing, we don't, so if we get unmatched or ghosted after we talked for 2 weeks online, that's a huge waste of time.

[@syrollesse]

@@lennertcornette 100 dudes lol? What reality do you live in my guy cause you're not living on earth with the rest of us with that kind of logic. And please take all those misogynistic claims and stuff them up your ass. If every single woman on earth avoids you then you'd figure at some point you'd realise that you're the problem lol

[@freeguy3751]

That's awesome Sy, if you truly feel that way. Hard to find someone online who actually is like that. It's designed for the quick connection, so people like you and me are out of luck.

[@justalostlocal]

@@lennertcornette If you treat dating like a business, and further turning it into an investment like late stage capitalism wants you to, then you won't ever be romantically fulfilled.

[@grimwatcher]

Just follow the rules and you'll be fine 1: Be attractive 2: Don't be unattractive. Too many follow the 1st one, but fail the 2nd, tsk tsk.

[@austinluther5825]

This is such an underrated comment.

[@undeadblizzard]

You forgot, have lots of money. Having pictures of you driving Ferrari and Lamborghini. Rocking Gucci and Cartier Shades.

[@j0hnc00]

@@undeadblizzard catfishing is bad, it backfires for both sexes

[@undeadblizzard]

@@j0hnc00 Yeah. That is why there is alway Hope. She half Korean and Mexican. It is 60 for a Blow and 200 for Half and Half. She does Group Discounts depending on how much Taylor Swift you have.

[@idrinkbreastmilk]

@@undeadblizzard thank Baby Jesus I'm RIIIICH BIAAATCH!

[@marcobarreto3847]

Ghosting is such an agonizing aspect of modern dating! Everything seems to be going well and then, all of the sudden, the person stops responding and you're left with no closure, wandering if it was something you've said, something you did or didn't do or if they just found, like you said, a shinier object :T People have so many options that, even if they recognize that you were getting invested in them, ghosting just feels like "part of the game" now, so, if you're not their partner, they feel in the right to not give you the satisfaction of an explanation as to what happened, which I find it to be very emotionally irresponsible towards the other person's feelings. It's a very dehumanizing phenomenon.

[@LinoSey]

This. Totally agree. And since quite often the ratio between men and women is 10:1 it’s quite possible the girl will find a shinier object. Literally happened to me a few months ago

[@marcobarreto3847]

@@LinoSey Literally happened to me on the day this video came out xD She'd been ghosting me for over a month, alternating between ghosting and saying she was too busy to go out (even though she also updated her pictures on bumble). Of course I understood all of that as in she not being interested anymore, that's not the main issue with ghosting. What I wanted to know was why, since we already went out 3 times and seemed to have good chemistry together, so I decided to ask her directly. At first she was willing to just say stuff like "you know, sometimes you're having a good time with that person and liking it and then you just don't want it anymore" and "some things were meant to not last" and leave it at that but I kept asking her nicely to elaborate and she finally told me that, even though we agreed on basically everything and had good chemistry together, we didn't share the same life experiences and she met someone else who besides the good chemistry also shared some of the same. With women having so many options, why content yourself with just good chemistry when you can find even better chemistry?

[@marcobarreto3847]

Also, I would've never guessed that this was her reasoning, since personally I enjoy meeting people from different walks of life, with some overlapping just on basic key values, and hearing their stories, learning their customs and all. And that explanation did give me an useful insight: That nowadays, again, with so many options, showing to another person the things you like to do can be seen as taxing and not romantic at all to some people, like having to teach the other person stuff that is already given from their perspective, unlike going out with someone already on the same page BOTH on the field of ideas and experiences, and perhaps that has happened to me before on other cases of people ghosting me and I would never have guessed that this was the reason if none of them had the patience to tell me and just expected me to read the signs. This was kept from my growth and I would've perhaps learned that so much sooner if they just allowed me to have closure.

[@spique32]

@@marcobarreto3847 I absolutely detest how normalised ghosting has become. I'm glad you got some closure for the girl (after much efforts from your side), other wise you're just left with no sense of closure. I started dating a friend of 12 years, and then got ghosted. It has been dehumanising to say the least.

[@thefallinglink]

The criticism I have received for this point of view is that "they don't owe you anything", and that "you cannot expect or infer anything", even the notion that a match means they are interested. In other words, it's not a reasonable expectation, it's privileged and entitled.

[@williamcarter1993]

online dating just wants to keep you hooked. It reduces entire humans down to a couple of paragraphs and pictures. It makes whole people so easy to discard, not to mention the emotional aspect of it based on how successful you are. Congratulations to those who have found partners using it, but it's super simplistic and irrational. Humans aren't products to be consumed like cars or TV

[@DaAxiomatic]

Not irrational. It wouldn't exist otherwise. What a lot of critics forget about online dating is that learning comes from simplifying, making the reductionist behaviour inherent in online dating necessary.

[@mandisaw]

Worse - dating apps play right into the trap of, "if you're not paying for it, you *are* the product". They have a vested interest in making their target demo feel empowered/viable, even though the business model relies on making folks feel the exact opposite.

[@mandisaw]

And in the end, the [US] surveys say fewer people are getting married/relationships or having sex anyway, so it kind of just seems like more depressing, more expensive pr0n with the added potential for harm to real-life people.

[@kevmasengale6903]

Social media in general just wants to keep you hooked.... We are all addicted.

[@metrach8901]

to corporations, world leaders and companies humans are the commodity

[@mistermann569]

*clears throat* DATING APPS ARE DESIGNED TO KEEP YOU SINGLE IN ORDER TO RETAIN YOU AS A CUSTOMER. Thank you very much, that's all I have to say.

[@kutlumzrak2689]

well, not customer, but as commodity, but yea, motivation is the same. ( They earn their money on advertising to you, mostly)

[@atomicgator5207]

To be honest, I don't see many other options out there. The classic ways of finding someone (ex. through family/friends, local community gatherings, etc.) have rapidly started to disappear. Particular post-pandemic where more and more people do their jobs virtually. For an increasing number of people, it's online dating or nothing.

[@cecenae8414]

I agree to this one hundred percent. It's become twice as hard to meet people irl that it was years ago. Even worse for people that are introverts. Online dating might have alot of disadvantages but it's better to try than sit and wait for what I might call a "miracle" these days. My opinion

[@jhawk1229]

On top of this, I've found in a lot of circles the idea of setting friends up together is becoming increasingly "weird", as it's more seen as a potential toxic situation should something go wrong, than as a potential good situation if it goes well

[@cecenae8414]

@@jhawk1229 so true.

[@winzyl9546]

You could go the pickup artist route and just try to pick up women literally anywhere.

[@alexvig2369]

@@cecenae8414 I chose to wait for a miracle, to be quite honest

[@obits3]

As a guy approaching his mid 30's, I've basically given up. Dating these days is like applying for a job where you have to pay for the interview. It's ridiculous. I don't have it in me to put up with this mess anymore.

[@alexdinca85]

I feel you bro :(

[@meeksimeeks]

Hey, I hope your dating life is doing better since your message... I think the illusion these apps present to users of having many "options" is a big (if not biggest) contributing factor

[@charlotteschnook1351]

Yeah, don't date. If you feel put out spending 15 bucks on a woman you want to possibly impregnate, you aren't relationship material

[@DMCarReviews]

@@charlotteschnook1351 So he just needs to keep taking women for free dinner, just to get ghosted a 100th time? Yeah...great advice.

[@charlotteschnook1351]

@@DMCarReviews women don't bother to get dressed up, buy new outfits, take time off work, take the risk of possible violence, spend a ton on make up just to ghost - if the guy gets turned down 100 times in a row it's cause something is VERY bad about his personally.

[@danyosuna7276]

Last month I tried to enter a foreign country (legally) but the border agent lead me to a room and then they started to ask me questions. She questioned me about my job, my family, address, income, latest travels, and a lot of personal info which I happily gave. But that felt too familiar, and then it clicked it felt exactly to go on a date as a male in your late 20s.

[@LimeyLassen]

the average woman's profile is "'Whatever, this app sucks" or "I'm an open book, just ask"

[@danyosuna7276]

@@LimeyLassen or "over-used joke". But in their defence there are like 20 dudes per 1 woman so they can afford that

[@e3vL1]

If they ask you all that in one date they are either desperate or a gold digger

[@LimeyLassen]

@@danyosuna7276 In fairness I'm not familiar with what the average man's profile looks like, I'm sure they suck too 😅

[@mchlle94]

As a woman in her late 20s, it's exactly the same, albeit is maybe different questions

[@latentpotential4520]

What I think has been interesting has been the "devolution" of dating apps. I remember when I first started using one, it was a whole process. A long questionnaire, a full bio with essentially essay questions for you to fill in. Setting up a profile took a while to do. Now you do it in about 5 minutes. The "questions" are basically worthless and inform little, there is no algorithm based on values, like mindedness, or shared interests. It is all in that one picture and set of filters, then swipe swipe swipe. It feels like they are less interested in helping you find a match, and more interested in showing you as many people as possible so you run out of swipes so they can charge you for more. Today feels so much worse than 10 years ago. At least then I has an idea of who I was messaging, now all you can do is say "hey" and then watch as the complain that all you do is say "hey". Yeah, your profile is 3 pictures and "I like food", not a lot to go on there.

[@sierrasouthwell9237]

I met my husband on Okcupid back when Grindr and Tinder were the only swiping apps. I absolutely agree with you.

[@JewTube001]

i remember when i could get matches based off the quiz results, which gave me something to go off. now everything is just a series of jpeg images.

[@crabPEOPLE2000]

The projection is heavy here. If you need a medium to give you icebreakers in order to initiate a conversation, then you probably have to work on your interpersonal skills, but nobody wants to confront this.

[@latentpotential4520]

@@crabPEOPLE2000 I'm not sure what you think I'm projecting here. The older way at least gave the impression that matches were based on shared interest, values, and personalities. The way it is now is 100% based on pictures (not that they weren't important before, just the only thing that matters now). Ice breakers are hard when all you have to go on is 3 or 5 pictures and 5 check boxes. Give me something a little more please. What wisecrack is talking about here, and a conclusion I agree with, is that OLD now encourages rapid "shopping" of partners and constant searching for "better". Even I notice that I am behaving this way, the conditioning keeps you using the app instead of finding what you came for in the first place.

[@MrQuantumInc]

Tinder and Match figured out the perfect formula for getting people to spend money and then they bought out all of the companies that wanted to actually help people.

[@sparagnino]

I've read that Tinder is going to add "blind matches", with hidden pictures and matches based on the "about me" section. Picture will be shown only when you decide to meet. Sounds nice, but I think we are already doomed and we'll use it as a friendzone generator.

[@spencerjames9417]

100%

[@motlagomangmakoe4456]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@gus9663]

That sounds like a great way to lose business. I think most people would like to know who they're talking to regardless of intent

[@pride0321]

@@gus9663 Thats telling of someone who hasnt suffered through online dating. If people want to know who theyre talking to then they can use the normal features. You act like this blind matching will replace the norm. Lmfao. As if something like Tinder will do something that fucking stupid.

[@Jeremy-ql1or]

No one would use that blind match thing.

[@theworldsmostplagiarizedma2436]

I tried Tinder for a week or two a few years ago. I'd rather just be alone. The thought of megalithic tech corporations quantitatively ordering people into a value hierarchy of intersecting interests and features makes me feel some type of way.

[@droryud]

Like a cut of meat in a butchery?

[@Window4503]

For some reason I love this take. If you’re ever back on even just for fun, please make this comment (the last sentence) your bio!

[@cameronpitcher6562]

The harder you look the further away from happiness you get. Don't fall into the trap of dating apps 💀

[@xyshomavazax]

Online dating is a nightmare. I feel worse about myself, partly because I don’t seem to meet anyone’s standards, mostly because I hate treating people like they’re disposable. It’s awful, dystopic, and should be culturally trashed along with all social media.

[@gogetyourgun1490]

Online dating apps don't work because they set up too much expectations for both parties. Both parties are expecting this amazing romantic and emotional connection with the other person but it doesn't happen like that. You can't force love, love comes unexpectedly. If anything, the only online dating that I've seen working are people meeting up via MMO games. Why? Because y'all are already in a social setting and doing common activities. You already have something in common rather only going for appearances.

[@periwinkle1136]

Also, you have to take into account that online dating apps have a huge difference between the amount of men and women. Depending on where you live, the ratio of active men to women in your area can be as extreme as 10:1.

[@marcozinhodeoliveira7476]

As if people also do not look at the appearance in real life. You have a very idealized view.

[@LimeyLassen]

This is also the reason why it's really easy to get dates at church.

[@gogetyourgun1490]

@@marcozinhodeoliveira7476 Appearance is a factor into dating, but I also need to see if we have similar interests and goals. You can look like Marlon Brando all you want, but if we don't have any common interests and no chemistry, there's not gonna be a 2nd date.

[@freeguy3751]

"Love comes unexpectedly" powerful words wow. I will carry that wisdom. Never thought I'd see life-changing words in the youtube comments section. Thank you for saying that.

[@JeansiByxan]

I’ve read a lot of Victorian literature and older, and I’ve found its largely a myth that people didn’t marry out of love back then. It’s human nature to pair with someone we at least like. This makes it sound like it was only about the money which just isn’t true.

[@catdogmousecheese]

Yeah and obviously the authors of those books would never romanticise or stretch the truth in order to fulfill some fantasy about true love overcoming all obstacles.

[@JeansiByxan]

@@catdogmousecheese I'm not saying that it wasn't both, but painting Victorians as villains is just plain wrong.

[@JeansiByxan]

And not only rich people married. The poor also married.

[@FlyteDanny]

@@JeansiByxan I don't think the intent was to vilify Victorian-era courtship, it was more like drawing a line between what was common at the time, I mean, parents are still marrying off their children in some cultures today.

[@josecarlosxyz]

It was true before and it is true today

[@lobsterdfw1]

It really is after a little while of using dating apps depressing how disposable you become to people and how disposable they become to you

[@ace7621]

ayy your username says it all

[@Bustermachine]

It's a fundamental mismatch about what a relationship is.

[@megadong5967]

Online dating is like defusing a bomb. You get a match and start chatting and one wrong move and it can all blow up in your face. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

[@SlashinatorZ]

Yeah I also hate how unforgiving people are and how quick to block they are over the tiniest problem.

[@MultiEpicepicepic]

Dating these days seems so hopeless and depressing. My biggest fear is putting effort into a date just for them to stand me up for someone better. It feels like the only chance to date these days is to be a super attractive man.

[@e3vL1]

Also need to be over 6 feet and a millionaire

[@sxb2andtheotherguys]

Jokes on you. I'm handsome, 6'2", and rich but wemon still ghost me.

[@sxb2andtheotherguys]

@@e3vL1 naw dude, shit still sucks.

[@lastnamefirstname2390]

If you aren't Chad, it's a challenge.

[@darklight6921]

people will say. just take another shower. that'll fix everything

[@shanghaitatoo]

I'm an introverted and independent woman and last couple of years online dating has reduced my self worth to almost non existence. The entire time I meet people who are just trying to have sex straight away and then disappear. I no longer worry about dating at all, and I am happier than ever. But I'm still battling with the aftermath of the damage online dating caused me and as a result I am not planning to date any time soon, even at my age in my 30s.

[@peko9896]

I'm sorry to hear that. Hope I'll also turn into someone who's fine on their own. I don't even get to meet those people because it's so easy to get ghosted or to lose interest yourself.

[@BurriedTruth]

I can clarify on that, most men on dating apps get treated horribly , its just ghosting after ghosting or matches with women that never reply back and after like 4-5months of trying maybe you will get a date. Turns out they either ghost you if everything goes well or after a while you realise you have just been used as a free meal or a free night out. So you reach a point where you are like i know how this will go so i might as well try to get some action since im going to be dumped later on. Its wild i am not a bad looking guy but im normal height, and even the ugliest women on these apps gets more dates than me. Meanwhile i know guys whose bio is just “i am 6ft+” and they drowning in so many matches it’s ridiculous, they don’t even put any effort in chatting before a date. Meanwhile as a normal guy you have to act as the court’s jester. “Say something fun” “Don’t be boring” “Make me laugh”

[@glyndwr15]

This is like employers during the height of the great depression complaining that people won't work for less.

[@katec9893]

@@BurriedTruth I have recently gone on a few dates with a man who was only 5'7 which is about the same height as me. I couldn't work out if he was gay, a player or something in between as I got a range of confusing mixed vibes from him. He tried to get us to keep 'hanging out' in some kind of blurred boundary between friendship and dating, basically benching/stringing me along so he wasn't short of options. Most men I match with seem to have options and they are definitely not all over 6ft at all. I think it's mostly to do with crafting a good profile and knowing how to talk and make women feel comfortable. Most men have bad profiles of poor unclear/distant photos so I can't even see what they look like. They might be wonderful men but if I can't see them clearly I'm not going to match with them.

[@Kritikanbringer]

#WomenMostAffected XD #FemalePrivilege

[@andrewmcquade9413]

I don’t know how it is for women, but as a man who’s tried online dating the amount of bots trying to steal your cc info is mind boggling.

[@brent4073]

I'll take the bots over gay dudes pretending to be women..

[@TVVENCH]

Dating apps make me cringe. I’ve been on three dating app dates in the last ~10 years and they were all “off” for me. Nothing beats meeting someone irl and being attracted to someone initially from an in-person interaction.

[@BalboaBaggins]

Yea unless everyone in real life puts you in the friendzone.

[@david29565]

Not possible anymore to talk to people. Everyone wants to be undisturbed in their digital bubble and it's almost impossible to enter someone's life unless you meet an ever growing list of requirements.

[@scapelife]

This video touches on a lot of the thoughts I had been thinking for a long time since online dating is pretty much the only means widely available for romantic and intimate companionship these days Everyone in it is commodified to a sociopathic, dehumanizing degree, the platforms themselves made to not work because keeping you engaged is keeping you paying them, there is no middle ground to meet people anymore and get familiar because it incentivizes a mindset where if you don't *instantly* click, you cut them off and try someone else Not to mention capitalism has hollowed out any chance for young people to meet anywhere outside of save like, work and/or school because of everyone's work-life balance. This has only been exacerbated by Covid. Everyone has been cooped up for 2.5 years, only going out sparingly and the only way to meet new people is to be instantly exposed to a marketplace that is hyper critical to the point where everyone treats everyone like they're usable, disposable trash? It's a horror show. There's no more approach a stranger and see where it goes to get a better understanding of them, there is only the Meat Grinder and you WILL be thrown into it.

[@tevbuff]

I agree 100%

[@lainiwakura1776]

But plenty of dating sites are free. And capitalism isn't keeping anyone from meeting anyone since you can still meet people in the work place and you still off days off.

[@JoybuzzerX]

@@lainiwakura1776 Meeting people at work not easy. What if you have a job that tends to favor one gender over the other? Days off? Back to people not feeling like you can just meet a stranger you didn't meet on an app.

[@scapelife]

@@lainiwakura1776 plenty are "free" yes but lock certain settings behind paywalls like Tinder showing you how many matches you have but you have to pay to skip the swiping part and just be connected with them, it also limits your amount of free swipes per day so you come back tomorrow and the next day If you made 10 matches with a 5 mile radius on and have to sift through the hundreds of people in your area over the course of days to get those matches, the app is made to take your time

[@scapelife]

@@lainiwakura1776 and I would argue capitalism is keeping people from meeting others, as I mentioned the work-life balance of young adults today is almost entirely eaten up by working, most people my age work full time and go to school or work 2 jobs. The constant hollowing out of the social fiber of society for more working to survive paycheck to paycheck undoubtedly has fucked up the dating scene

[@chippletown4862]

I've been online dating for 7 months,. After 15 different dates, way too many red flags and liars and no potential partner in site. It can be very daunting. Being an old fashioned romantic type, it's not an easy place to be.

[@Rude_Boi]

You gotta come to realize this: "Why are these women even on these sites?" There's ALWAYS a reason. No virtuous woman is going to subject herself to a "hook up" site like Tinder [for example] unless she either wants validation, wants to hook up, has problems, OR all of the above. As men, we need to wake up and start thinking with our minds and not our d*cks and stop playing into the hands of these greedy companies and corporations that set us up for failure, such as Tinder.

[@thatbee3585]

Same. I always felt like I was born in the wrong era. I have a very romantic and old soul . I’m not meant for this era of dating . It’s harsh and cruel .

[@Anon-tt9rz]

be happy you had 15 dates, I've been there for a couple of years without single date

[@katec9893]

I hear you. It's a difficult place for kind, sensitive people. There are a lot of narcissists and sociopaths on those sites and they know what to do and say to convince people they are genuine.

[@thecrackedcocoon5423]

I met my husband 18 years ago thru online dating but its so different now. Now it seems like a bunch of people trying not to be the first to get hurt. Good luck guys.

[@freeguy3751]

@Erinç Argımak Yeah that should be posted as the marketing ad for online dating lol

[@An_Gha_]

Where? There wasn't internet 18 years ago in my country and I thought it didn't exist at all.😅

[@misseveville9806]

I realized that dating apps weren't working for me when I couldn't keep up with the glamour shots I posted on there. I presented myself differently than who I was in person. That's when it stopped being real and I needed to find someone in person. I dropped dating apps all together, and I found my man who accepted me at my worst and my best. We've been together for two years now.

[@katec9893]

That's so great. Where did you find your man in person? I think it's much better meeting people in the real world too, it is just challenging sometimes ie knowing if they are single or not.

[@UpGiMa]

I wish everyone good luck in this dating field, but I am fed up with this shit.

[@JustJenna8]

I've been online dating for years, and when my ex (met on Hinge) and I broke up, he basically said he thought there might be a better commodity out there. Rude.

[@karenmassey8354]

This. I don’t see why guys complain so much about online dating when they do stuff like this. They always think they can do better, then pout and complain when Instagram models ignore them lol. Their difficulties online dating are their own doing.

[@alan2102X]

@@karenmassey8354 ... and women DON'T always think they can do better? ... and women don't pout and complain when the top 5% chads ignore them? lol

[@Bakeddru]

@@karenmassey8354 so you are happy to be ghosted by guys? Or would it fuck with your head a little bit? Average guys in online dating may get a match that isnt a bot or a literal bush pig once every couple of days, women can get hundreds of matches in a day, even the bush pigs. So it inflates some peoples self worth while deflating others. They are going to promote breeding once they realise how fucked we have become. Look at china getting rid of the one child policy for example.

[@TheJennnq]

Hot tip; stop calling people "chads." For most women, this incel bullshit is a HUGE TURNOFF.

[@sasha69Xurgelash]

@@alan2102X Where not the ones exciting about some little boy turning 18 years old everyday!

[@braeive2888]

1:49 - Ad Skip Button

[@K4R3N]

Thanks

[@AceKite00]

I'm at the point where I'm just gonna walk up, look women in their eyes while smiling and ask them to date. Helluva lot better than window shopping on a phone.

[@lovemaakhe]

don’t do that

[@TVVENCH]

Yeah maybe don’t approach random women who are just.. existing in peace

[@robertmachin364]

@@TVVENCH you're right, being asked on a date might traumatize them

[@empathyrebel]

How dare you?!?!?!?😜

[@jesterprofilepic]

@@TVVENCH yeah don't walk up and talk to someone. what a terrible crime.

[@evmi231]

I wish you could have given more time to talk about what to do about this romantic techno-distopia. I feel like dating apps are the only way I’ll find a partner, but at the same time, like I’m being held back by them. What should we do?

[@isabelleoh-criner6697]

cry

[@Mahawww]

@@isabelleoh-criner6697 Jesus, Isabelle. lmao

[@Mahawww]

You'd be surprised how much just asking someone you find attractive at a party or at college or (and this is only if you do it really well) a coffee shop, "Hey do you wanna grab a coffee sometime?" will work. I know it's not as easy as swiping or as convenient or as less terrifying, but it can be done and there's a way better chance of the person actually showing up. Just give it a try and remember you don't NEED to find someone, so if it doesn't work you'll still be fine. That's the real best advice. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. And good luck out there.

[@aklszkopek3470]

Why, Isabelle, why?

[@leefairweather5772]

Honestly, I'd wait till enough people got sick of this shit and then riot. Also increasing class consciousness would help.

[@dvolsung1527]

Tried online dating when I was in my twenties. Absolutely hated it. It removed all social mystery from the encounter and literally just made me feel like I was shopping or looking through resumes which was really gross and uninteresting to me. Thankfully I was able to meet someone in college and we've been together for about a decade now.

[@awill3454]

There is something lost in translation in online dating. I’ve never really felt a “spark” on any of the dozens of dates I’ve been in and none of my online relationships have gone more than 2-3 months. My 2 1+ year relationships have come organically from meeting in real life.

[@TomboTime]

dating is just . . . . . SO depressing. it's so manipulative, it's so full of empty platitudes, it's so superficial. Honestly? I think I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than put on an appearance for somebody. it's so emotionally draining to have to hit a checkbox of things, especially since the honest to god truth is I don't want MOST of the things on that checkbox anyway and the only thing that might compel me to do otherwise is to hit that other thing. I don't want to just be a commodity or to treat somebody else that way. I want to be comfortably myself while still being considered worthy of romantic company. If I simply must choose between the two, then . . . I choose me.

[@KingSigy]

My life is incredibly sad in that I never dated before online dating took off and now I’m too worthless to make an impression online. Out of all the things people had told me would come naturally in life, dating and sex were not it. You legitimately need to work to find those, but if life continuously kicks you in the balls, you’re fucked. For me, I’ve mostly given up as I’d rather use my energy to accomplish tasks that value me as a person or contribute to my own personal growth.

[@spencerjames9417]

Same here man

[@freeguy3751]

Sounds like you got your priorities straight, which is great, not sad👍

[@Sebas-iw8xc]

My man, the last sentence worths everything. There are many things we as humans can do to help, learn and share, love should not be the center of our lives.

[@marcriba7581]

Living a life that satisfies you enough to keep going on beyond inertia is the basis to getting anything actually worthy from the world of courtship. Amongst all the courtship qualifications we've been adoctrinated to amold into, we keep forgetting it's mostly about "getting together in order to be, most of the time, better than alone".

[@fiveleavesleft6521]

We were sold a romantic lie. The sooner guys face up to that and just enjoy their lives the better. Yes, it's a harsh truth but men are durable and adaptable when we know what we're dealing with.

[@Citlalisaurio]

I'm fascinated by tinder culture so I made my bachelor's degree thesis about Tinder and young people and it was so fascinating to know how young adults think of love like something they can shop so they must have to be sure if the other person it's worthy of time and money

[@abigaelbalbuena1917]

Would love to read that! Is it online aywhere?

[@Sebas-iw8xc]

I would like to read it too, pls

[@ledernierutopiste]

Seems like you only surveyed young women.

[@Kritikanbringer]

😱

[@Respectable_Username]

Will third that interest in reading if you have a link to the final paper! Though because of automod stuff you might need to not post it as a URL

[@singular9]

Even as an introvert, online dating is actually stupid. Its like trying to fast track your doctorate degree, and if you actually get your doctorate, you end up killing someone on the operating table your first day on the job.

[@ten_tego_teges]

The problem with this video is that the entire first 5min analyses the life of the higher classes: first the aristocrats, then the bourgeoisie. That was like 5% of society at most. For the vast majority of people until the post-war period, their life revolved around the village they were born in, or maybe the industrial plant they were employed at. I am reasonably sure dating in the form of taking a women to theatre wasn't a thing for your average coal miner or farmer.

[@BalboaBaggins]

Exactly. He also completely stays silent at why 80% of men are giving up on dating.

[@sabincioflec8413]

finally, a good point. I swear to God i don't understand all of these people that make videos and not to mention psychologists that think that human society started at most 1000 years ago. We spent 99% of our time here in small tribes of 150-200people, that's where most of our traits come from, not from dowry and shit.

[@MegaKootz]

This is kinda what happens when everything within a society is turned into a profitable commodity. What kinda monsters does humanity have to be to turn a concept such a love into something that peruses infinite profitability? Monsters that are not worth saving is the answer.

[@nicholashildenbrand8632]

To be fair, there are quite a few people who aren't interested in doing so at all. And many more of us that are just too exhausted from the ridiculous demands of modern life to do anything about it.

[@alexl1178]

@@nicholashildenbrand8632 Yeah. Too tired to look. Free time is spent with family or relief.

[@jessedaly7847]

Correct

[@chriswillis713]

I think no matter what Era I was born in, I'd die alone. BTW, discussing the commodification of online dating doesn't go so well on an actual date so heads up folks.

[@xxo-deathshot-oxx2047]

I feel you bro

[@mrblackmamba117]

Keep your head up man. Its totally fine if you don't have success in online dating through the apps. There are a lot of ways you can still meet men/women. Approaching/meeting someone in real life and making an impression can be challenging, but it's much better than doing it through the apps. In real life, you impress someone with your personality, hobbies, similarities and vibe. While dating apps focus on very superficial first impressions like having good photographs, trying hard to have a funny bio and making yourself look perfect and sorted.

[@lennertcornette]

Yeah, never tell women how OLD is like for average men, they get upset and will ignore you since they think only women have issues.

[@chriswillis713]

@@Turanic1 are you trying to recruit me for the Incel community?

[@oaktree2254]

Their probably not the right person for you! I've only dated a little but on one first date we discussed topics like consciousness (with humour ). If your talking about online dating in a serious way or still have baggage about it, it wouldn't be good to bring up. If a man I was dating asked me what I thought about online dating or told me a funny story about his experience of it I'd be happy to chat about it. I've been in one relationship and the guy made me laugh alot on all the dates we went on. Hope your experience gets better ✨🌱

[@MelodicQuest]

"Boy howdy! My dame sure is something swell. When I get back home I'm gonna marry that gal." - Guy who dies first

[@calebtomes2735]

Internet dating got me jaded too hell I've been ghosted too meny times mocked and bullied it's such a cruel world and you get treated horribly just for the validation of another person

[@brent4073]

I'll take ghosting any day of the week. The worst is when you go a long spell without a match, then you finally get one, you accidently get too excited, and she immediately thinks you are desperate and unmatches or doesn't reply back. Like my god, you need the perfect level of using those apps daily and also not caring enough to lock down someone off a dating app.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

Dating apps made me realized that my sexuality has nothing to do with looks...no one was attractive to me just by looking photos, even the ones that should be...and would in real life...I felt nothing. Guess I am only for real life, random meeting people in random moments, not actually looking for it, just random mutual sparks. When I look for it, I lose any desire for it.

[@AlienCowThatMoos]

Online dating doesn't (usually) work at all, regardless of your appeal or lack thereof. Get a hobby that puts you in the position of actually meeting other human beings in person. This increases your odds of getting dates one hundred fold. For me it was salsa dancing, but it can be sports (ultimate frisbee perhaps), church, gaming groups that involve in person play. Anything that isn't about dating and involves meeting with groups of actual people.

[@dereka415]

Online dating is a job interview. I don't take too many pictures and it's hard to find time with friends to go out and take pictures since most have families.

[@jqobsidianthegoongod9452]

Needed this video tbh I love the study of human society and this connected so many dots

[@Kam_i_]

as someone w severe depression and anxiety i refuse to participate in online dating bc of the whole “self-commodifying” thing. I dont need more self judgement in my life lmaoo

[@krissydiggs]

I hate what online dating has done to the environment of dating. It sucks. It’s incredibly hard to find someone and then when you think you do they forget about you. Or I forget about them without even realizing. I have to make a conscious effort to not ghost people, and not because I’m not interested, but because bumble keeps telling me to keep swiping. I hate what it’s done to me and I hate what it’s done to finding a partner. It do feel hopeless as I approach 35.

[@BalboaBaggins]

Shouldn't have dumped those nice guys.

[@krissydiggs]

@@BalboaBaggins extra stupid and a little sad to comment this. I hope you find someone to love someday man…

[@yoyoyo5621]

as a women i dont like dating apps...i feel so overwhelmed and i feel like i hardly talk to anyone because im just compulsively swiping all the time because it gives me weird behavioural addiction that takes over my brain. i dont even remember why i got on the app in the first place, it was probably to meet people but now it's just addiction to swiping and being hypnotized and overwhelmed. i feel like im always being forced to make super quick judgements with extremly surface level brief info and it stresses me out. As a result i hardly ever go on any dates.i dont feel good when im on the app i dont think it's good for my mental health. i also feel like everyone on the app has super short attention span and super intolerant of any flaws or incompatibility .like it is just anxiety inducing environment where everyone feels disposable with weird pressure to be absolutely perfect. I think this is why everyone on there comes across so inauthentic. it's just better to go out and meet people in real life you just relate to them so differently

[@brogang-c7902]

Wow this was the most relatable comment I think I have ever read…

[@cheetahx13]

Online dating, dating apps... it was actually depressing, getting to the point where it says there is no new people in the area, realizing you had just 4 matches, 2 never replied, 1 said hi and that was the end of it , the last one you realized it won't work out you were too different. the other thousands didn't think you were worth it . you end up feeling worst

[@winterknight4307]

It's official, love is dead and we live in a dystopia where instead of finding someone to love by chance, we find through apps, social media, and swiping. Why settled down when you can just look for the next person you can chat with the next day, to spending a night in bed with them and then after a week or two, move on to the next until you finally believe you found the one. Only then it turns out to be nothing more than illusion, we live in a world where love is nothing more than illusion. It's no longer real or meaningful, it's just a way to seek pleasure and find comfort in the arms of a stranger for a few weeks, and then move on with our lives, and find the next. This makes me sick to my stomach...

[@freeguy3751]

That's a fair commentary. sad but true

[@MyaVilla88]

Sounds about right

[@Brian-cc3kh]

More ghosts in online dating than a whole season of Scooby Doo.

[@jzm2293]

I was once happy with someone I met online we met it was nice. It went nice at the beginning but then things started to go slow I lost patience. And due to losing patience I lost him. Till this day idk if things could've gotten better but 1 thing I learned from this was I needed to work on my self to which I am today and learned when you love yourself you know where the weeds and flowers are so you focus on the flowers and take out the weeds and it becomes easy. For those of you love your selves 1st and you'll know what best for you and then for dating trust, manifest and believe that the right person is on its way right now with the trust of universe. Sending you all love and light ✨️

[@WisecrackEDU]

Big thanks to Keeps for supporting the channel! Here’s the site if you want to check them out! > keeps.com/wisecrack

[@JewTube001]

i think the sponsor would like it you pinned these

[@skinWalkman]

So I’ve been using dating apps on and off since I was 19 (I’m in my late 20s now). It was hugely convenient for me because I am a bit socially awkward and easily intimidated by large groups of people. The older I got however, the more I saw the superficiality of it all. It’s a swipe or a message because someone is hot. Not because of anything they put in a short bio. It definitely leads to low self esteem in most and drives up anti social behavior.

[@JewTube001]

in the old days dating sites use to have a lot information that you could put in, so you would get matches based on that and you could see the info on their profiles. nowdays it's just instagram.

[@mrm9570]

@@JewTube001 With ppl linking the Instagram to their bio too 😂

[@creativia6639]

I'm sorry that happened to you :( Best of luck!

[@CaptianN1094]

I have a high match rate, I message first every single time basically, I have maybe less than 9% of girls who respond back? At the same time, trying to just find someone out in the wild is just as hard or even worse with how anxious and scared people just seem to be, even if you're attending some event you both enjoy. That actually can be even harder because a lot of people don't like to attend events alone.

[@dvolsung1527]

The real hell /end of civilization will be when people can't or won't engage in courtship outside of an online space lol*. *Joking... but sorta not joking

[@rg3585]

"Online dating will probably become increasingly intrinsic to our dating rituals. We can't change that." I disagree. Fight the power. Find other people who find this style of dating disgusting, and maybe instead of continuing down a path of destruction or going back in time to a previous style, find a new style of dating. He inventive. We don't have to submit to big greedy companies who knowingly harm the majority of our population with horrible apps that usually effect our mental health negatively. Note that a lot of other countries use differ styles of dating: tinder only became popular in S. Korea last year because of marketing, but not many people actually use it after trying it. It's considered pretty gross and shameful, generally. There ARE OTHER WAYS!! Join a club and keep being active in your community. You'll meet people naturally.

[@lennertcornette]

' Fight the power. Find other people who find this style of dating disgusting,' Problem is that all average and beautiful women profit from online dating so that won't ever happen.

[@runningcommentary2125]

@@lennertcornette Shouldn't be hard to get the ugly women on board then. Reckon they'll be happy to help.

[@jhonshephard921]

what other countries? are you expecting arranged marriage works like some sort of a store where your parents just find you a match? being from a culture like that, I can attest that at least the good ones do NOT. Its actually like a dating app as well except you are expected to meet the family instead of the match BEFORE the first actual date and then the date itself is chaperoned(sometimes deliberately done very lightly, like sending a kid brother or young cousin). So its like regular dating but with some pressure to say yes because multiple families are involved but you still have to use the same charm as a regular date because both can easily say no.

[@TrevorHarris1991]

Love this

[@chickenfoot2423]

@@lennertcornette i know its pretty obvious from all your comments that you’re an incel, but just reading most of the comments from women on how online dating makes them feel its very obvious that you’re wrong. maybe try listening to people when they explain how they feel rather than bitterly assuming

[@freeguy3751]

I've tried being authentic on a dating app and there's no point to being on there anymore. No responses as well as paying money for more responses. Then the people I do get a bit of conversation going they slam you with judgement (cuz you don't fit the norm). It's a very painful experience to pay for and invest time in (if you really want to be accepted for who you are). Not worth it (if you're fully authentic). Online dating is only worth it if you're willing to conform to the norms, or you fit the norms. So basically, sacrifice your authenticity to fit what the majority wants. It's a painful situation.

[@Oktaviii]

The biggest problem of online dating is that you don’t know a lot of information about the person who you starting to date. The only info about them comes from them so there is no way to fact check if what they are telling to you is truth. I had a horrible online dating experience when a guy was lying to me for months that he broke up with his ex a year ago and took his time to process it before starting to date again. Then several month later turns out that he broke up with his ex only 3 months before meeting me, that I was practically a rebound and that he is planning to get back together with his ex. I honestly was scared by this experience so much that my depression kicked in and I had to start therapy. Then I gave online dating one more chance and I actually did meet my current bf with whom we are together for almost 2 years on the same app. So even though I cannot say I had completely negative online dating experience it still was pretty traumatic before I met my bf.

[@AdonisGaming93]

I'm probably just going to give up on ever finding love tbh.

[@donquixote2072]

Good!

[@MadScientist81]

Love is an illusion buddy.

[@autumnseal763]

If it wasn't for online dating, my social anxiety would have had me die alone lol. Almost 5 years in a relationship that started on tinder

[@flowd7451]

Please help💀

[@GabrielleTollerson]

Online dating and hook up culture put us in hell

[@ThisOldSkater]

I would say "do things that have you interacting with others in person", but conditions for that have been less than ideal of late. Also would not advise looking for a "match" as looking into a personality mirror gets boring really quickly.

[@MegaManXPoweredUp]

I think that depends on what your experiences are. If you've lived your life feeling like an outcast, meeting someone who is similar to yourself can feel like you've found someone who can finally understand you. Opposites attract, sure. But it's a beautiful thing to no longer feel alone in this universe. Like an alien stranded on an unfamiliar planet, finally meeting someone who was from their planet.

[@mandisaw]

Seeing the comments from folks saying "online apps are the only dating option" is super-depressing. Unless you live totally off-the-grid, or are completely housebound, there are opportunities to socialize. Like with jobs, networking is the way to go.

[@ThisOldSkater]

@@MegaManXPoweredUp yeah I can see how that would be. I just mean that looking for someone too similar will be pretty frustrating. Differences are learning and growth opportunities for both! People seem to get a bit fixated on the idea that the perfect companion is a match for their personalities as much as possible. I haven't found that to be the case myself.

[@lenas6246]

@@mandisaw exactly like with jobs. People just choose a simpler option out of two commodified spectacles

[@lasha3688]

Despite the fact that I've personally met some people with whom I had some fun flings with on Tinder or Grindr, I've become more and more convinced that they are getting in the way of us finding partners. The people you meet on Tinder are easy come, easy go because there really is nothing binding you together besides the fact that you both swiped right on each other. Also online dating is not fun at all, I do not enjoy the process and don't know anyone who does

[@indientis6003]

So, basically said, It's better to stay single & die alone.

[@donquixote2072]

Sad and lonley... :( But also rich! :D

[@sergiowinter5383]

Everyone dies alone, every coffin only contains one dead body

[@ca6koto0]

I've been in a relationship for the last ~4 years with the first girl who didn't ghost me on tinder. She's great, I got lucky as shit lmao

[@LimeyLassen]

On Tinder? Oh my god. That is lucky.

[@venicec3310]

Damn bro go buy a lottery ticket

[@freeguy3751]

Whoa. Kudos bro! (If you're truly happy and didn't settle for mediocrity)

[@tvestal100]

I met my husband via Bumble. I'm grateful for online dating BUT it was absolutely horrible until I found him. 8 straight years of rejection really took a toll on my mental health. As the poet once said "hell was the journey but it brought me heaven."

[@youtubesucks3882]

Did your expectations of people lower after 8 years of using dating apps? Like, did you start 8 years ago looking for someone of a specific niche and taper over time or was it just that bad from start to finish?

[@tvestal100]

@@youtubesucks3882 I would not say my standards changed. But after a few years I assumed I was the problem. So I worked on myself and went to therapy and tried to become someone worth dating. Even after that though it was a struggle. Finding someone who was actually nice and not a "nice guy" was a freaking miracle.

[@dovakeen1179]

Your more self aware than 90% of the current generations of women

[@katec9893]

@@tvestal100 I am where you are before you met your husband now. I'm going to therapy and working on myself after years of meeting the wrong men. I think there is a big element of luck in finding a good partner, but working on our own issues beforehand is always a good idea so we are ready if we do meet someone worthwhile.

[@fanofcodd]

Most people you call nice guys were probably nice , maybe a little hardened by the whole dating environment but still.

[@ZeroFreak1]

I tried dating apps years ago. Had a few meet ups, it's funny - usually I got along better with those people online rather than meeting them in person , it got pretty awkward on those "dates". I don't regret it too much but looking back I wanted to walk out of one of those dates given how uncomfortable it got .

[@PanewsONE]

Great video! I love how you give some context with a bigger picture

[@katcuber4863]

This was such an insightful and well researched video, thank you Wisecrack! Sharing this with my friends

[@Miss_Tatti]

Ah online dating is the pits of hell I tell you 🤣 where all self-respecting optimism about finding someone to share your life with meaningfully goes to get tortured and turned into a self-hating demon ghost that leaves people hanging just so it can feel a semblance of self-worth. After 3.5 yrs of celibacy, tried online dating for a few months and all I've been feeling is just hurt, disappointment or sadness at some level or another. I've decided to give up and just hope being open to meeting new people organically will work (whatever that means these days). Or, you know, just wait for divine intervention 🤣

[@isabellezoey]

I used Tinder for a few months, it was horrible. Deleted it, regained some self esteem (because these apps suck that right out of you) and then met my gf 3 months later at work.

[@SlashinatorZ]

I don't work anywhere but I donate plasma regularly. I've deleted tinder several times over the years. It's ruined my confidence

[@brnnbks]

Great to see you guys still going strong. Well-researched and funny Wisecrack Edition. I would love to see more of that soon (and/or a bit less reaction and hot take content). Cheerio

[@jackfishthe6th373]

This is a great video, it really described my experience and understanding of dataing apps. The over commodification of 21st century generations dating has absolutely ruined the fun and fulling purpose of dating/relationships.

[@BDCTheSloth90]

I did meet my current partner online 5 years ago, but dating wasn't our end goal when we started chatting. It just happened after some 6 months of knowing each other. Now, if for any reason we'd fall apart, I'd probably resign to remain single for the rest of my life because dating apps are an absolute trash fire. Online dating doesn't have to be like that, if you start chatting with someone on a subreddit, a Telegram group chat or anything like that you'd meet cool and interesting people you wouldn't meet in real life because they don't live in the same town/neighbourhood/etc and that's fantastic, but dating apps walk, talk and quack a lot like job hunting: stressful, rarely - if ever - fruitful, and can even take months only to find out the job is actually garbage. That's why I think inceldom is the liberation movement of fools: they correctly identify a problem with dating apps and then blame women instead of tech companies who harvest tons and tons on data from your interactions, eroding away your privacy. And are also ran by men btw.

[@gian2070]

I'm actually pro online dating. You're going to meet people irl anyway, dating apps are basically a supplement. I've never sacrificed social interaction for it, all it's done is allow me to talk to people on days when I can't get out of the house or go out when I'm bored.

[@freeguy3751]

But do you truly care about those people if you're just talkin to them cuz you're bored? How do you think they feel when you talk to them with that kinda energy? I'm guessing they don't really feel very important in your life. That hurts people, that kinda "hey I'm bored" kinda talk when there are people on there who are actually looking for a long term love of their life.

[@notoriouslysingle181]

Excellent job researching!!! Love this 😀

[@CaregivingVlogs]

I like meeting someone by chance, online dating has been nothing but depressing for me. I wish people could meet face to face nowadays...

[@DevilHunterWolf]

I remember when Tinder was brand new and thinking it was a very shallow approach to dating. Quick judging a person just on the profile picture never sat right with me as a good way to look for someone to date. It's a bit better now since the bios are available before swiping but the judgement process is mostly the same. The problem is that algorithms are both the answer and the problem of online dating. In a perfect world, you'd put in your interests and you'd be paired up with people you're highly compatible with. But in reality, we know algorithms are hard to trust. Some of the dating sites even got some heat for experimenting on their users matches. And that's the same algorithms that are supposed to be trusted to guide you to everlasting emotional love. It's little wonder why it barely makes a difference what app you use as long as it's a popular one.

[@sierrasouthwell9237]

Most algorithms are based on your attractiveness, now. Have you ever noticed that when you first get on a new app, it shows you basically only pretty people? Then the longer you're on, the less matches you get? That's because the app will rank you on your attractiveness and show you to more or less people based on your score (how many high-ranked people swiped right on you.)

[@ZexMaxwell]

for me(male seeking female). online dating is an exercise of insanity. I NEVER get a date. I've tried multiple platforms and its getting to the point where i just don't care anymore. I just hit like/maybe on everyone and just get on with my day.

[@snowangelnc]

For me (female seeking male) I haven't had any luck either BECAUSE of all of the guys that just hit like/maybe on everyone and just get on with their day. There may be a good guy out there somewhere, and I still hope to meet him one day, but it's difficult because his message would be hidden among hundreds of others from guys that just spammed everything in sight. That's all I see though, messages that basically say "Look, we have nothing in common. I'd know that if I'd bothered to even glance at what you wrote on your profile, but I didn't because I couldn't possibly care less about that. I'll take anything, so I'm sending this to you and about a thousand other random women, none of whom I'll even remember two seconds after I move on to the next profile." That's what all of those random likes and 'cut and paste' messages are telling us. Most men don't respond positively to spam in their emails. I don't know why they think it will get results on dating sites.

[@iurivanastacio3081]

@@snowangelnc you would understand if you were a guy, women have all the options online, guys have to do the numbers game.

[@ledernierutopiste]

@@snowangelnc It's absolutely logical for guys to do that... You can't spend time on 1 profile considering how low the chance of being picked is. You just swipe everything and then see the very few that you catch. A woman has 25x chance of getting a match than a men. It's hard to even fathom how huge the difference is.

[@fiveleavesleft6521]

​@@snowangelnc That really does sound like complaining to starving people about how much cake you have.

[@snowangelnc]

​@@fiveleavesleft6521 No, that's like being starving yourself and getting tired of the fact that all your getting is people throwing their garbage at you day after day after day. And Iuriv, ledernierutopiste, it gets a lot more complicated if you are looking at the other person as a human being that you want an actual relationship with. That number games logic makes sense if you don't care at all about quality and compatibility. You are literally telling these woman that the only thing you care about is scoring a body that's female and has a pulse. You don't look for anything specific because every random woman you've messaged is 100% interchangeable with any other random woman on the site. That. Is. Not. Attractive. So, few to no responses come in. The guys respond to that by cranking up the volume of spam even higher, and the cycle continues. But sure, I'm a woman so there's no way possible that I would know what it is that women are actually looking for and what you guys could do to increase your odds. Ignore my advice that a few well thought out messages sent to women who actually make sense because your profiles match up would get better results than thousands of mindless winks to obviously bad matches. Your way must be working so much better, so just tell me how wrong I am and carry on with the way you've been going.

[@PhillyCh3zSt3ak]

In the eight years I've attempted online dating through apps, we're talking hundreds of thousands of swipes yes and no, I've gotten a grand total of maybe 3 legit people and about a hundred bots. We're talking close to a decade of this shit, it's beyond depressing. I tried a free trial once on whichever app is a clone of Tinder's interface at this point in time because they set the standard (thanks Tinder) and saw literally no improvement. Someone stated that it's like paying for the privilege of being rejected, they're right.

[@Phantisma09]

Why do I watch these things?? It's the same thing every time "Hey here's a thing integral to your life that's making you sad! And guess what you can't escape it because late stage capitalism and technology!!"

[@Alverant]

Online dating is why I gave up on romance and realized I was better off my own.

[@michaelthomas7659]

I met the love of my life through online dating and will mostly definitely say that online dating is the worst. I used a few different services off/on for around 3 years and, although it worked out in the end, I barely went on any dates despite sinking time and occasionally some money into it. I have a general distaste for social media in general and I never truly "played the game" by making my profile an idyllic version of myself which certainly played a part in my lack of dates but doing other than that just felt dishonest. Perhaps keeping it that way is partially responsible for it leading to my relationship now as they were able to see something that reflected a small part of who I actually am but man was it demoralizing to make something you feel like represents you and get almost no response from anybody out there. The biggest thing I learned from online dating is just how shallow it all is and the only way to succeed is to just get lucky...

[@freeguy3751]

Super thoughtful Michael. My experience is similar but I didn't luck out yet. Had some potentials for a long term thing, but after a week or 2 there's too many red flags.

[@Qwerty.240]

I've just had a painful breakup. No matter how lonely I feel, i NEVER download a dating app. It simply cant work

[@miroslavhoudek7085]

The fact that we have failed to develop a sound straightforward way to find a good match for ourselves tells you everything you know about how we will not manage the climate crisis or any other crises.

[@ryanhollist3950]

Probably the most devastating moment of online dating for me was when I tried a certain site. They started with a free survey to start generating matches (I'm sure they later required a paid account to actually communicate with those matches). However, in my case, once I finished the survey the results were, "We are unable to match you with other users."

[@kellyfowler6615]

The same thing happened to me in 2007. What a way to boost your confidence!

[@Dr0]

Some time ago I tried Tinder, and it was a bad experience, I ended up doing what they said in the video of assessing my own value in the dating world and it was discouraging to say the least. At first, I was picky but that didn’t get me any matches, then more as an experiment I started swiping right to everyone and that barely got me a couple of matches after a while though I wasn’t interested in any of those matches anyway. And I was only there after a series of rejections of girls I liked that I asked out in person. So, in the end I just decided to stop trying; all of those rejections were going nowhere and only getting on my self stem, for me a relationship wasn’t that worth it

[@joofmagoof2841]

I really like how you lay out your ideas. As a viewer, I'm with you stride for stride as you introduce new issues.

[@antialiasantialias4958]

2:54 "I'm 27 years old I've no money and no prospects". Same Charlotte, same :(

[@jlinus7251]

Online dating worked for me. I just made it very explicit on my bio I was looking for long term and only swiped right on others who had the same tag. Regardless of their appearance or not. And then I systematically went through all my matches and made it explicitly clear I would like to meet in person after a week so I wouldn't be wasting time on people who weren't serious. Went on 5 dates and got myself a boyfriend. Sometimes I feel like an efficient robot but hey I get shit done.

[@Audreylalaland]

Same I made a list on my bio of things I require in a partner whoever didn’t pass the requirements was blocked immediately

[@Daniel-tx2vt]

I don’t think this would work for most dudes lol

[@dinchenm.3784]

Might try this out

[@ctrl_altesc]

@@Daniel-tx2vt Yeah lmao it is a hilarious thing to see a woman say "online dating worked for me"

[@danbee415]

Legit does not happen for men 90% of men. Women truly have no idea.

[@Josh-99]

I know this is from a while ago, but I feel that the video is still relevant. I enjoyed watching it from the comfortable safety of my 23+ years long marriage to my childhood sweetheart whom I started dating when we were 15 years old. I will absolutely, positively never participate in online dating because, even if the unthinkable happens to my life partner, I will never marry again.

[@austinhorton6350]

WE WANT SOUTH PARK WISECRACK VIDEOS AND WE WANT THEM NOW.

[@cosmicbrownie333]

Even as an introvert, I never really had an issue meeting people/getting dates until the pandemic. I tried online dating for the first time last year quickly deleting the profile, decided I'd rather have a cat scratch out my eyeballs while pouring lemon juice in the sockets. Lots of scamming, catfishing, ghosting and open season for weirdos (lots of unsolicited d pics smh)

[@TealKeel185]

I get asked every so often if online dating is worth doing. My answer is always "Not at all" despite the fact I have met the love of my life through one. Her and I always joke that we lucked out and/or beat the system that profits from keeping us desperate and sad.