Open heart Surgery while suffering Anorexia. But then I am told if I don't have OP I will not live

I do feel FAT! Target is 7 stone - But then they told me if I don't have OP in September, I will not make Christmas - What Should I do. Yes I know selfish but I love the NHS and Feel bad

[@dweeb4]

I don’t know what to say other than I feel for you, and I understand you. I’m not claiming I can understand being in your exact position, because I can’t. But at some level I can understand YOU. You have a beautiful spirit and I have hope that you will find some bright moments in the coming days, months, and years. Your soul is one that really speaks- what a special thing that is.

[@tree3303]

Not sure why I've come across this, because I have no knowledge or experiences in relation to what you are going through. But I do hope you success with what is going on with your life right now, even if it's hard to go through. And I hope to see you pop up in my recommendations more often. Good luck with everything, Mr. Jones!

[@polinanix]

As someone who struggled with eating disorders for years, it truly is devastating how difficult eating is when the solution seems to be right in front of you. But it’s not that simple. Still, I hope everything goes well with your health and that the open heart surgery will go smoothly.

[@MyNameisAndyJ]

Hello I am so sorry to hear about your Eating Disorder, I hope your okay now and getitng support. Your spot on about its not simple' I have caused hurt to my family and friends. I have been Nutter - Grow out of It - just eat etc Thank you for the kind words and support, it means such a lot to me. Take Care Andy

[@LilyWells-pf2ux]

i hope you learn to love yourself into good health. i wish you hope and strength through this process.

[@MyNameisAndyJ]

Hi Lily, Thank you for the kind words and support, it trully means a lot to me personally. Take Care Andy

[@damaged.collateral]

i’m not sure why this was recommended to me but thank you for sharing your struggles. i’ve been struggling with anorexia for the past five or so years and when you interjected in the middle of your sentence that you don’t ’look’ anorexic, my heart felt for you because while it comes across as off topic, it’s always at the back of our minds when we do disclose our conditions-whether or not we even Look the part or are ‘worthy’ to call ourselves that, even though the diagnostic criteria strictly revolves around eating pattern and not visuals. it’s a bit different but i’m a black british girl who also doesn’t ’look like i have anorexia’ so in that way i relate to you. i’m sorry you’re going through this and i do hope you’re able to realise that your worth isn’t determined by how you look and that there is no control in depriving yourself of something your body categorically Needs. you deserve to be able to have the surgery and, regardless, you’re not ‘wasting’ the NHS’ time-we’re quite literally there to serve patients, which includes you! i’ve had to put on weight for medical reasons when my anorexia was at its worst and while is thoroughly unpleasant, i’m glad i did because it’s allowed me to be here today and also reminded me that weight isn’t something to demonise and Can be in flux-as in, just because this is how much i weigh right now, that’s not what i’ll weigh All the time. admittedly, while it’d be better to not think like that at all, the journey to getting there and undoing anorexia’s damage takes time and all i feel is can do right now is wish that you stay as safe as you can be and prioritise your health above all. i’m proud of you for beating cancer, that’s a huge achievement and you shouldn’t understate it! wishing you nothing but the best and well health 💗

[@damaged.collateral]

also, you said your goal weight is 7st; i don’t want to make you feel bad but in my experience, goal weight’s never last for too long as, right when you hit them, they decrease once more because you never tackled the ‘mental illness’ side of anorexia and so you still feel the same as you did 20lbs+ before. anorexia tricks you into thinking ‘once i’ve done X, i’ll stop’ but more often than not, it’s truly a lie-upon reaching my goal weight, i felt absolutely nothing except vague disappointment because i thought i wouldn’t feel fat anymore. so i just lowered it because i thought id overestimated the weight at which id stop feeling fat. and then i did it again, and again, and again. you never really stop feeling like that until you tackle the mental side of the disorder, i’ve found. i just wanted to share because i know others have felt similarly and if there’s any chance at all that this helps you, id be glad to have shared.

[@manfredfinch]

sending you a virtual hug

[@superrsilver]

praying for you 🤍

[@KallieMae]

I feel for you, and I wish you well. I hope you can find the peace and good health that you desperately need. Sending love ❤️ If you’re open to some advice: journalling and meditation have helped me loads. I know it’s not for everyone, and it absolutely will not cure you, but getting all of my feelings out on paper makes it a lot easier for me to make logical decisions instead of decisions dictated by my mental illness, even if it’s just for a short time. I have never had an eating disorder, so maybe this is awful advice, I just want to help you if I can. I am only 28, but I have been struggling with a similar paradox where my psych medications are messing with my heart and my life will be shortened if I stay on them… but when I’m off them I don’t want to live longer anyway. This is the first time in my life I’ve ever wanted to live, but in order to keep this, I must die early. I’m looking for better options but I am also learning I might have to make my peace with dying young… but at least I will die stable and content with my life. I don’t know. This is the best I can give you - some sloppy advice and empathy based on my own situation. I hope you live to see a miracle and happiness beyond your wildest dreams finds you.

[@helenehalbwirt5139]

I don't exactly know what to say but I feel like saying something. I am sorry that you are going through these struggles. Life is so precious and beautiful, if we allow ourselves to enjoy it's beauty. I wish you all the strength in the world and the best of luck with your health journey. Thank you for sharing your story

[@MyNameisAndyJ]

Dear Helen, Thank you for the kind words and supprt, it trully means a lot to me personally. Your so right lifes precoius and to short. Some say I share my VLOGs for me, never my aim its about sharing and if it helps just one person that for me is my aim. Take Care Andy

[@chikibongbongbong8475]

Don't let shame and fear hold you back, especially don't risk your life. If you give up now, you will miss all the beautiful things in life.

[@fia2709]

Hi there. This popped into my recommendation, and I’ll say I sympathise with your struggles, particularly anorexia nervosa. It’s a self-destructive illness that tricks you into spiralling down into deeper disordered habits. I started experiencing heart palpitations, and basically I was high-risk for heart failure. Thankfully, I’m fully recovered now. Forced-recovery was my only option, but it opened my eyes and saved my life. Family supervised me in following a hefty meal plan. This illness has one of the highest mortality rates of any psychiatric disorder. I’m not good with words, as it’s easier said than done, but please eat anything. Doesn’t matter what it is. Your health and well-being is the main priority, and maintaining a healthy weight is one of them! Wishing you all the best, and please don’t overthink. Everything will work itself out, I’m rooting for you.