How do you treat trauma that you don't remember? AKA ep.85 - Kati Morton's mental health podcast

[@Katimorton]

If you find my podcast helpful, please consider sharing it with others. You never know who might be interested in tuning in :)

[@annellealexander4025]

Happy Thursday Kati 🤗

[@lottanerve1777]

Me. and many others. you are the only one I have found, who has explained what is going on with me, and in a way that is understandable. Thank you for that. I am sure it isn't easy. Especially right now. I greatly appreciate your work.

[@ToniHinton]

Timestamps: 1:11 - Is it "normal" to constantly to talk to yourself? 7:07 - How do you treat trauma you don't remember? 9:30 - Could you talk a bit more about emotional abuse? 26:39 - Thought stopping, at what point does it become harmful? 31:49 - I'm struggling with trusting my new trauma therapist. 42:39 - How can I get more comfortable again with social contacts after the pandemic? 50:00 - How can I deal with the anxiety of losing my therapist? 53:53 - What advice would you give to a person whose trauma includes therapy-derived traumas? 1:02:07 - Can one sibling have problems while others don’t?

[@nou-kc1ws]

Thank you queen🥰

[@ToniHinton]

@@nou-kc1ws Happy to do it. I may have been, um, procrastinating a bit (a LOT!) this week and this felt like something I could accomplish.

[@nou-kc1ws]

@@ToniHinton sounds a lot like me tbh hahaha, but really thank you for this, for taking the time out, be prouf of urself🥰 Also, how are you?:)

[@juneack5848]

You are authentic in your delivery and in time, the world will tune in, because you come from a place of healing and compassion. Thank you

[@lauragore5489]

I have been crying my eyes out for months only over my mother. She left me when I was 8 years old. Well it was me and my siblings. The reason I'm crying is because I'm grieving what I never got and it sucks. I've since had reconnections with her now as an adult, but it's never worked out and she can't be the mother I need her to be inside now I'm crying over that too and it just of course it sucks and I feel like not having my mother is the worst thing in the world that could have ever happened to me besides other things with sexual abuse and things like that that happened to me. I'm working on this and therapy and have been working on it for years but it just doesn't seem to be getting any better.

[@nikkinone-ya]

Your videos are my therapy, thank you 🧸💜

[@ToniHinton]

Really great questions this week. A lot to think about. Thanks, Kati and everyone!

[@rockchik676]

Whooooooo best part of my Thursday!!

[@Katimorton]

Awww Thanks Gemma.

[@rockchik676]

@@Katimorton :D

[@Jade_Deja]

Agreed ❤

[@Crocodonkey]

Katy, I wonder, how you keep your cool, dealing with all the suffer people endure, and seeing all the injustice and abuse. Mother nature may bless your life with more good and happiness. 🌼🌄

[@DrummerGrrrl]

Ah! The first question is all me, it seems! Except for the maladaptive daydreaming. My roommates kid me gently about the talking to myself thing. I feel relieved! I'm also very extroverted. When I'm with my friends/family I engage with them too. One of my sisters told me to stop worrying about it because I'm so cool. Wasn't that loving and sweet?!

[@michelleeure8943]

I am so happy that I am not alone in feeling emotion towards my therapist going on maternity leave. I have been seeing her for almost a year and I am trying to focus on the stuff we have gone over rather than the time that she won’t be around. I just find it sooo difficult.

[@janetslater129]

Thanks for addressing the question of talking to ourselves. I often have talked to myself, but it's more in a sense that I'm talking to a friend (or sometimes my therapist). I'm fully aware of what I'm doing at the time, where I'm at, am aware if others around (will basically shut up if others are in ear shot of me talking to myself), etc. However, for me, it seems to be a form of processing for me, even if it's not a stressful situation.....like I'm just talking about my day, things that have happened (good and bad), etc.

[@natascha_mephisto]

I love this podcast! It’s my third voice in a conflict I have all the time. If you are interested in the longer version [The great people at the inpatient I have been to said some really good stuff I agree with a lot (for example don’t cover your SH scars all the time they are part of you and you shouldn’t be ashamed). My therapist now says a lot of things that don’t go with the stuff the others said and also told me to stop some new behaviors (like not covering strictly in a safe environment because that is attention seeking). All those people went to university but I like the stuff they said at the hospital way more, they were more loving and understanding and I wasn’t afraid of them. I am afraid of my therapist now but I never know if what she says is less true or good for me or if I just don’t see what she sees. Here takes the podcast and Kati herself place.] She is the third party I need to get a better view on things. Thank you!!!!

[@katiunddu]

I often want to run away from therapy before session too but there is my rational mind. So I go to therapy anyways. I think if I miss one session I cant go there again. It helps me to have appointments where I have to go to. Also I struggle with going to the next session if I opened before a bit more.

[@DrummerGrrrl]

I have struggled with this same thing, back when I first started going to therapy in...this will (carbon) date me...1990! I think what you're experiencing is normal. Therapy can be rather intense; especially if you're not used to digging deep into your psyche to uncover problems and then bringing those problems out to work on them. I used to throw up before therapy sessions and have...uhh...other things happen (without getting too t.m.i., use your imagination) about thirty minutes before my sessions. I never told my therapist about this but she asked me once and I told her. She wasn't surprised but did seem sad that I got so overwhelmed with the very thought of therapy that I had to "schedule" time in the bathroom/loo/toilet before I could start my session. This went on for about three years. Gradually, as I became more trusting of her, my gastrointestinal problems got better. Instead of dreading my work with her, I started to look forward to it. If you feel comfortable enough, share how you feel about wanting to run away from therapy even before you get to your session. My guess is that maybe you're afraid of the feelings and memories that the therapeutic process is stirring up. These are quite normal reactions. Society, as a whole still has a lot of fears and prejudice towards therapy. I think that's reflected in our movies, television shows, books, conversations, etc. We make jokes about going to see "shrinks" because it's a way for us to "conquer" the scary old process of rooting out the things that hold us prisoners to ourselves. Whew! I'm getting too esoteric now! 🤪. Be gentle with yourself. Therapy IS scary sometimes. But if you have a great therapist who wants to help you to help yourself and teach you to be your own little therapist, it's worth it.

[@katiunddu]

@@DrummerGrrrl My therapist knows about this already. I think I am scared to share some things and I never shared something about deeper or personal topics before. So that is pretty new for me. Thank you for your great answer. I am working with my therapist on that.

[@pip4846]

Thank you, really, thank you!

[@lottanerve1777]

What if you were raised by someone who never knew their father, then married someone who also never new their father? I was raised without any grandfather. My father left, I think this has had a HUGE impact on my life. As I know my husband of almost thirteen years also didn't have his father around. How has this impacted us, in ways that we don't even comprehend? Thank you Kati, you are a Godsend.

[@AJOG14433]

Yass thank you Kati. Hope you’re having an awesome day🙏🏽💯💛🔥

[@Katimorton]

Thanks Anthony. You too!!

[@AJOG14433]

@@Katimorton Thank you 😀

[@juliesmith4539]

I have done this lots I have always thought it's thinking out loud like you said that you just run through what's got to be done it's a thinking out loud to do list

[@Deimnos]

If you dislike the term " Personality Disorder" then maybe you would like Dr Elinor Greenberg's take : personality Adaptation.

[@daisy-daisy768]

3:20 definitely don't talk to myself. I don't like hearing my own voice. Also have problems talking to other people.

[@mymentorjane6705]

Having experienced multiple abortions and working with many women who also have, it’s not unusual for there to be complete or partial amnesia of the experience. It was confusing because I always felt so sad, especially around the anniversary dates of the abortions and due dates for the babies’ birth, but didn’t remember a lot of details. Therapy helped me connect my emotions to the trauma of the procedure and the loss of my children. Although I still don’t remember most of what happened, I have healed a great deal and learned how to live a good life.

[@Snickerdoods.x]

I listened to a podcast recently where a therapist said there's no such thing as "repressed" memories. That if we had trauma we would remember it. So now I'm questioning everything. I KNOW something happened to me when I was younger, but I don't remember it. Now I wonder if it didn't actually happen.

[@mikageokumura5605]

People with dissociative identity disorder experience amnesia, as do people with dissociative amnesia. Furthermore, a therapist is not a scientist, and even scientists barely know how the brain works.

[@lishabrit4696]

I don't know about that, I have had memories resurface from my childhood as I've gone through therapy. I'm learning that I used to dissociate alot as a kid, but there's still memories there.

[@miyoukifhey8544]

But how can i access my feelings when I did shut them away and locked them up. I would like to sit with it cause over the last year I did learn they are easyer to deal with then feeling just emptly and like a "Machine" when just letting rationallity and logical thinking decide my actions. I also find that interacting with ppl is a lot harder.

[@natascha_mephisto]

I was never really scared that my therapist would leave cause of a pregnancy but I have intense fear that that could happen with some teachers of me

[@ashleychevarie9668]

#KatiFAQ Hey Kati, I didn’t grow up with my mom and I long for a mother daughter relationship now. I struggle with mental health and I’m wondering how I can get the relationship I long for?

[@andreafeelsfantastic]

Roxy can’t talk back YET but you need to get her buttons like Bunny :) (from the What About Bunny channel on KZbin)

[@ipsykd40]

Was just researching maladaptive daydreaming...

[@sweepapawahpaxtan2274]

when victims tell truth some do not like it , so people talk to themselves

[@rosannaien9596]

Sometimes I'll talk to myself whenever I have to work through something and I'll even record it. It's like I'm having a monologue on TED talks or something. Never been a problematic issue for me, but when I was younger I felt like a freak for doing it until a teacher told me that talking to yourself is totally normal.

[@rebeccas8054]

Yeah me too! I always think out loud when I'm alone and my thoughts are kind of that I tell someone a story, besides there's no one there, so I'm basically telling myself that story :p. It's an easy way to get your thoughts straight. And it's a great way to overthink stuff and conversations and get more anxious for them ;)

[@juneack5848]

There is something to talking things out. For some reason, the brain can breathe during times it gets to escape thought domain and be uttered by sound/language