Why Do I Want Attention So Badly? Ask Kati Anything! ep.83 | Kati Morton podcast

[@Lemonady]

*Timestamps* Q1- 1:16 Q2 - 14:01 Q3 - 17:45 Q4 - 30:16 Q5 - 40:16 Q6 - 55:34 Q7 - 1:02:35 Q8 - 1:07:40 Q9 - 1:12:29

[@askkatianything]

Thank you! adding to the description now :)

[@emwood8139]

My previous therapist of 8 years over stepped so many boundaries (bought me gifts, ran sessions over 2 hours for no reason, called me at weird times, gave me 30 free sessions and then told me when I questioned if she cared, kept catching up with me after she stopped working), i thought it was all i wanted at the time. In 8 years with her I never felt safe to cry in front of her. I saw her as my mum and thought I would die without her. My therapist now has very good boundaries and I can finally be vulnerable in front of someone else, feel safe, and start to work through my past childhood trauma. It is so important, and I've learnt it the hard way.

[@manizhaazizi3156]

Hmm I wonder why would she do that? 🫤

[@shadrach6299]

I had a female psychiatrist who loved me. I am female. She was good but she made me a bit uncomfortable.

[@Jalentheuntold]

I'm literally trying so hard not to cry at work. I know we are supposed to cry but I can't show that vulnerability rn. Especially since I have bpd so I literally cry over everything. This podcast is distracting me and helping me not cry. It's so hard. This the longest I tried to hold it in.

[@sophiatucker04]

If you can, you could go to the bathroom or an empty room and cry in there. You can let your emotions out and then compose yourself and go back out. Try to breathe.

[@nicoleleeanartist5999]

I soooo look forward to this every week

[@too_tired_for_this]

YES! I always “crave” being in the hospital, and I did try to rope play me being sick when o was a kid. It’s so, so wild. I’m working on addressing some really severe emotional neglect, and it’s so hard. It also makes me feel really ashamed for wanting attention in this really weird an inappropriate way.

[@murielbilly4296]

About question 4, having hypermobile Elhers Danlos syndrom, i had a lot of surgeries, and I like to remember the moments when I hear the nurse calling me, 'madam, wake up' or 'do you have any pain', in a soft voice i'm half asleep and that's soo soothing to have someone taking good care of me.

[@freeluigi4444]

Yay, it's "ask Katie anything" day!! been waiting all week for this!

[@kylem8166]

So many things you say i can identify with. Your videos are so informative. Thank you so much for your advice

[@keriboberi2432]

I am so thankful for you, Kati. Thank you for being you!

[@markjabbour5154]

Yep, great post! W/r/t drinking and honesty. Yep. As a former bartender, you nailed it. Called by one of my mentors, bars are: "The psychiatric tavern" - i.e. drinking and truth are the poor man's therapy. To quote you, " What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals". Keep up the great work! And, hang int there. Cheers.

[@AJOG14433]

Thank you Kati 😀

[@askkatianything]

You are so welcome!

[@nikkimckay860]

Missed this live but watching now been waiting for this new ask kati anything all week always good questions and answers to the questions I always need kati a calm voice and all the helpful advice she gives, us

[@syzygy4365]

Thank you for sharing this information with us. I wasn't aware of all the specialists that are qualify to counsel patients. I personally don't like dealing with some of these specialists. Very much appreciated.

[@syzygy4365]

Thank you for covering frustration on here. I'm a chronic sufferer my entire adult life. I like to consider myself a strong person. However I feel like my strengths were taken advantage of by my ex. Like I worked full time, helped him with his legal issues, stepped up and provided in other ways when I wanted to just enjoy being a mom and staying at home with my second born. Being a SAHM wasn't my main goal in life, but due to all the hardships I've faced... never having that same support.. I've fallen, and Now I'm stuck.... in so many ways. I never imagined I'd be here. Rock bottom is neither comfortable or enjoyable. I loved raising my first child, being a rock to my family, working 2 jobs, and enjoying the good times. However my ambition always came at a price. My ex never was supportive. I can think of a few basic times. Like when he was there to cheer for me when I graduated high school. However the support was minimal. My family felt the unfairness. I often carried us, and saw my ex lash back at my family's disapproval. I've come to the conclusion that he's not a terrible person, but I don't trust his kindness to be genuine. I definitely don't think he has the best intentions for me or our kids. This life I've walked myself down is so hard, and it's hard to make since of all the pieces of rubble. How do I trust myself? How do I pull myself together? I don't trust men now and that hurts.

[@CathyJennings-kw8ds]

Clapping hands!!!

[@calliope6623]

Thanks for the thing about wanting attention! I was super annoying as a child, I had no social skills and would follow other kids around the schoolyard trying to provoke them to react to me. They would always tell each other “ignore her, she just wants attention”. I don’t blame them at all for that, they were just trying to live their lives. But it’s interesting to think that maybe the problem wasn’t the fact that I wanted attention, but that I had no idea how to connect with other kids in a group.

[@rachgeorgia9993]

I've just starting reading Traumatized. I'm finding it very helpful, easy to understand and follow. I really like the real life stories, it makes me feel less alone and that there are people that understand what I'm going through.

[@sdowden369]

In Canada a psychologist and psychiatrist are the only ones allowed to formally diagnose someone. Also, counselling psychologist is a masters degree you can take here. Usually easier to get into than clinical psychology.

[@youio9063]

on the question sbout getting annoyed by things easily, the thing that helped me was realising the grumpyness was sometimes from a sense of entitlement, like "i should have gotten that" etc. which annoyed me again but you can see how that anoyance isnt from entitlement. hence why i say sometimes

[@nataliehilton2661]

Thank you for being awesome like always

[@emmaforever2728]

Favorite ask Kati anything vid. 🧡🧡

[@lappuhelvettikirjailija9]

I've been wondering what might cause my indifference about possibly dangeurous situations. For example about a month ago I was jumped by five about 16-17 year old boys. They tried to attack me, but ended up fleeing the scene, probably because they thought I wouldn't fight back. After this I wasn't scared or anything like that, I was actually pretty excited and super awake and had a great gym session. I've used to self harm about couple years ago, and always got this response. I have BPD and Bipolar 1.

[@amber-gaming]

I prefer the term “patient” as well!

[@ipsykd40]

Awww stomp that's so adorable ❤️

[@elizabethfrootloop7814]

Q1: Hi I'm autistic with CPTSD and have dealt with a lot of anxiety too. I would guess that CPTSD is the core issue here; and for the long haul if want a trauma informed therapist who understands autism. The eating disorder is a coping mechanism, but needs to be dealt with first thing; so therapist needs to understand eating disorders as well. I wouldn't worry so much about the OCD label at this point, my guess is it's an outgrowth of the other issues; and autistic people are commonly misdiagnosed with it.

[@emwood8139]

In Australia psychologist and clinical psychologist is different. A clinical has further training beyond their masters, and full psychologist isn't always a dr unless they have done their doctorate. Someone can complete their masters to become a psychologist, so it depends on the country too.

[@vanessaelsa5983]

In regard to question 5: I found out about RO-DBT just yesterday and find it very interesting. Have you heard of it, Kati? If not, I'd highly recommend to check it out! It's for the opposite kind of people than for regular DBT. I.e. for people with Over control rather than the Under control often seen in people with BPD. RO-DBT is for perfectionists, OCPD and a bunch of other diagnosis where the root cause is Over control.

[@judyconte6566]

Do you do online therapy and if so do you take United healthcare insurance ?????

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello everyone here who is in the kati community and who just follow s her video s and podcast I'm just being friendly we all need this podcast we are all here because we suffer from different types of mental health

[@BirdyMarie]

I have not interviewed a therapist to work with in a while. I just get assigned a therapist so I honestly don't know if I'm with a therapist that specializes with my diagnoses. And when my therapist leaves the company the company puts me with a different therapist I've never met or got to review their specialities

[@georgieeve2026]

Maybe you can do a Google search of the therapist (or the next therapist). Usually the internet will show the therapists credentials, contact details, location, experience, types of therapy they use, and their particular areas of interest (e.g. anxiety, trauma, grief/bereavement, childhood/adolescence, workplace issues, eating disorders, ADD/ADHD, PTSD, relationship issues/couples therapy etc etc). Or you could just as the therapist or make specific requests for a trauma-informed therapist. :)

[@BirdyMarie]

@@georgieeve2026 thank you I didn't know I could do a Google search but makes sense so thank you for letting me know 🙂

[@hgzmatt]

It's weird how much I identify with these BPD descriptions. My life has been turbulent.. and the time since the pandemic started has been extremely turbulent emotionally, not to mention it started with a rocky relationship and almost immediate breakup. I'm not so sure what's going and if this is normal or whether I do have some mental issue that needs sorting. If this was a one off thing.. but to be honest I have a history of falling hard for people and having some real abandonment issues. Which of course always get reinforced when people do leave. What I never do is abandon people first.. I just don't see myself in therapy at the moment, options around here are very limited.. I might give it a shot when I move back to the city.

[@diablominero]

Regarding question 7: One time I got so high on Ayahuasca that I think I was stuck in ego dissolution (which is supposedly in the dissociation family) for over an hour. My thoughts were so scrambled they weren't doing any thinking, and my emotions were sort of mixed in with the bizarre, nonfunctional thoughts until they didn't feel like emotions anymore. My thoughts returned to being normal enough that I could reason about the world after that, but my emotions took overnight before they came back at all, and they were weird enough then that for the next week almost everything seemed pleasant, even things that would normally have been unpleasant. If I'd gone to a doctor during that time, I'd probably have been diagnosed with drug-induced hypomania. But it was great fun and didn't do any damage other than mildly annoying my coworkers. I wonder whether the person who asked question 7 had a similar period of elevated mood after their dissociation.

[@jfluter]

I am a bit behind, but I had a thought about the role playing as a child. The role playing could be a way for a child to process their thoughts and wants. Even as an adult, I talk things outloud to myself.....like even have full fledged conversations, like as if I'm talking to a friend or my therapist (kinda depends on my mood). I wouldn't call it dissociation or maladaptive daydreaming as I'm fully present and can stop at any time (and I try to not do it around others), but it definitely has let me process things over the years. Just offering a different perspective.

[@nikkimckay860]

Love your leopard print top looks, nice on you 🙂👍

[@ray.deathray]

I never considered discomfort around eating in front of others as being part of the eating disorder spectrum. I really dislike eating around others and this is the first time I made that connection. I always thought it was just part of my high introversion. I was chubby for the first half of my life, and I'd often be the butt of jokes when I was a little kid. These comments were mostly from adults, so that sucked. I don't think I meet the criteria for an eating disorder, but I do have anxiety and depression from various other things. I wonder if this was a smaller contributing factor to the whole thing.

[@lisasnoozy3749]

I didn't know that either!!

[@hgzmatt]

I have a really weird issue where I sometimes can't drink in front of other people. I get self conscious and my muscles tense up, making it physically impossible. You wouldn't think it, but carefully lifting your glass up to your lips and not spilling is quite the task. But I have a feeling this must be something else, more of a social anxiety issue or something. I never get it when I'm on my own or when nobody is watching.

[@wolfferoni]

I came to the comments after that question to look for something similar. I have pretty moderate to severe social anxiety so eating is not something I want to do around people. I don't think I have an eating disorder because of it, I think it's an overlap from social anxiety. I was criticised for the way I ate a lot growing up and it's normal for people who have been bullied or judged around food to not want to eat in front of others. It's not really the food that's the issue, it's the people and fear of being judged or made fun of. I think eating disorders come from an unhealthy relationship with food and in this case, it's not the food, it's the people.

[@sparkeli4513]

Stomp is such a cute nickname lol

[@christine8289]

In regard to question 8 having a difficult time wrapping my head around the possibility I am dealing with an ED. I did start thinking about your question “how are you using it to cope?” Honestly, I’m not sure. I can see a pattern, if I feel out of control I restrict keeping myself on lock down. Then short periods of time where I eat more “normally” at times I have binged. Is it always a coping mechanism? it’s just I don’t remember ever not doing something. Even at the age of 4 or 5 I was being given slim fast by my mother for at least breakfast and lunch, sometimes all meals, for a significant amount of time . Then diet after diet, thinking back I have never not been like this. Could this just be a habit? Or, just me and how I am which is weird. I’m sorry if this is super straight forward or dumb. I just don’t understand. Apologies

[@cycologistgal]

Hi! This episode still isn’t available on iTunes. Any idea when it might be up?

[@azeemnawaz5531]

Nice & good

[@jackovoltraids5937]

Is therapy, of any kind, just a means of finding catharsis for the patient?

[@vanessaelsa5983]

Also, this episode isn't up on Spotify yet. ☹ Just wanted to let you both know that. 😊

[@thjb500]

Thanks so much for answering my question Kati! Angry playlists and rage room here I come…

[@rochelle_johnston2703]

OMFG...I've got an eating disorder on top of everything else!!! F A R' C R Y I N G OUT LOUD, PLEASE HELP KATI???

[@DrummerGrrrl]

Although you're begging Kati to help you, she might not see your comment here and, as much as she might want to, she can't answer every single question from every single person commenting here. It sounds as though you're very overwhelmed right now and it's understandable that you want Kati to help you. She is so caring and loving but again, there are other caring and compassionate therapists who are ready and willing to help you. I have no idea of your situation and circumstances but I would encourage you to seek out help offline, if possible or online if not. There are many avenues for you to find the help that you need. Please don't wait to seek help because you only want to hear from Kati. There's just no way she can answer every question or cry for help. Please know I tell you this because I care and want you to get the help you need.

[@rochelle_johnston2703]

@@DrummerGrrrl Thank-you I appreciate that you took the time to read and reply to me. I am aware that Doc Kati is very busy and probably wouldn't see my message however you did! Thanks again and I am seeking help offline. :)

[@DrummerGrrrl]

@@rochelle_johnston2703 Yay! I'm glad to hear this. Always remember to be gentle on yourself. Much love. -Maura

[@rochelle_johnston2703]

@@DrummerGrrrl Gentle on oneself? Hum'mm; That would be great if I remembered and didn't have 'ocd or asd', however I'm not trying to be a smart-arse I hear what you've said and so very much appreciate you taking time to help. Thanks again because eventually such needed encouragement sinks in! I will try to be gentle on myself, I sure do need a break from self criticising and remembering that I have skills... Maura, you're a legend and an awesome caring person that I'm glad, no very glad you responded to my cry of help. Yeah, thank-you. Love Rochelle aka Mumma aka Rocky :) P.S. Still figuring out when & who is present, I'm going to say Rocky as I could appear to be sarcastic. P.S.S Rocky-male, The other's-female. P.S.S.S. F8ck, Definitely Rocky Mumma is always in the background and needs to apologize for his stupid attempt at humour... Must leave this post now lolz THANK-YOU MAURA

[@ipsykd40]

Wow Kati angry, I could never imagine it.

[@asasial1977]

I’m completely opposite, I don’t want to have attention I ride vintage motorcycles, I love them, but I don’t want to talk to random people about them, or really any strangers

[@askkatianything]

Fair enough :)

[@hgzmatt]

We can trade. You give me some of the attention you don't want, and you can get my abandonment instead. ;)

[@ags2121ze]

Do you think that after chronic ed for decades it's basically just habit that keeps one stuck doing the same thing? Why can't logic overpower emotion and how can one accept the need to be normal, weight gain and perhaps even an overshoot? Why are emotions so manipulative and one day say "you're gaining weight and not even what you really want" and the next say" you look the same so better not change anything or you'll gain weight? Why can one feel comfortable being stick thin? Thank you

[@yunhee93]

Sorry Kati, but I disagree, I’m a neurodivergent I feel that therapist are not accepting people may have different ways of thinking and processing. So I knew that I needed to see a psychologist

[@coffeeandhorses7991]

I have a clinical health psychologist. Who does CBT and deals with kidney disease patients. He did his residency in the kidney program. He can even interpret blood work . . So I disagree, clinical psychologist are way different then psychotherapist .

[@sdowden369]

It's very much dependent on where you live. In Canada counselling psychologist is a masters degree similar to clinical psychology. Psychotherapy is again a different degree and each comes with different regulations and things they are allowed to do. I find the USA are very lax on these terms as opposed to other places so completely agree with you.

[@coffeeandhorses7991]

@@sdowden369 I'm from Canada. In my experience a psychologist has way more expertise then a psychotherapist.

[@francesbale1409]

Im really concerned by how casually you throw around the diagnosis of BPD