Help! I am so angry with my therapist! AKA ep.155

[@TarkMcCoy]

The TLDR of it is that if you have to ask yourself "Should I tell this to my therapist?" the answer is YES, especially if bringing up the subject is triggering. That's why you're there!

[@siriushp0904]

What does TLDR mean?

[@TarkMcCoy]

@@siriushp0904 Too Long, Didn't Read

[@Lemonady]

Timestamps Q1 - 0:46 Q2 - 19:32 Q3 - 26:22 Q4 - 31:53 Q5 - 37:10 Q6 - 40:43 Q7 - 57:43 Q8 - 1:00:15

[@juliearcand2358]

My new therapist (after 25 years of intensive psychotherapy with a man who had to finally retire...so there were a lot of triggers and anger and sobbing- but i stayed) this therapist after what i thought was a major breakthrough the very next session (and I only see her - per her- 1 to 2x a month) "not to be too attached or dependent. How long do you think you will be in therapy?" I was soooo triggered by that statement (as that was my biggest wound- having no one to turn to during sexual abuse) I can only mychart her, there is no way to contact anyone between sessions- I had to leave and i my charted that basically, "no worries, it's all on me, im the patient i take all the blame and I will figure out my meds and finding different modalities." I literally got back- "ok. Yes we did good work, you're welcome back anytime. " ?????? Is that ok??? Doesn’t she have an ethical obligation to just give me referrals or something????

[@SurferJoe1]

Whether or not the question or the subject relates to me personally, I'm always so interested in your insights, experience, and incredible knowledge, and I really appreciate you educating us every week on the human mind and emotions and how we relate to each other. You make me smarter and more perceptive and enrich my understanding of so many things. I don't think you can ever hear enough thanks, but here's mine: thanks.

[@annat773]

had my first trial session with a trauma and behavioral therapist yesterday at 3pm. I rang the bell 5 minutes before and she didn't open. After several minutes, another patient from another therapist came out of the practice by chance who was just about to leave, so I was able to go in. My therapist's room is right next to the entrance door, really right next to it. Her room door was wide open and she was sitting at her desk, just working away instead of ringing the bell. I stood in the doorway and thought she would at least look up now and say something, because we had an appointment. She either didn't notice or ignored me. She didn't even look up or anything. Only when I uttered a hesitant "hello" did she react and say "hello, are you going back to the waiting room? Is that ok?" That was it. I would have loved to leave again. What was that? A test? Our communication had been a bit difficult before but we wanted to talk about it. Am I exaggerating? When I asked her about it, she played it down and said well, she would have looked at the second ring at the latest. And she hopes I don't hold it against her. I honestly don't think her behavior is ok.

[@bubble171]

Brilliant insight and advice again. The more I listen to these podcasts I realise I am not alone. So many brave humans in this community and I wish you all the love and happiness you deserve ❤️

[@sarandonga0011]

I am so grateful you exist Katie ❤ thank you so much

[@kreasiw]

Wonderful video. Thanks Kati, you explain complex things in such a relatable manner. We really appreciate it.

[@askkatianything]

You are so welcome!

[@sarahdannhaus8123]

I have a question for you. Why can we feel uncomfortable when we're doing nice thinks vor people? I'm right now package a box for my Neath. It's just a couple of art supplies I because she recently got into art. It's nothing big, just a couple thinks I hope she enjoys. Right now I'm trying to write a card going with it. Usually writing cards isn't a problem, but just the thought of sending her this makes me so uncomfortable. We have a good relationship and there is no real reason to feel this way but it's driving me crazy. How can I cope with this?

[@renamoda5450]

Interesting topics once again,Kati.Keep up the good work.Cheers!!

[@masterculturedunkerque7918]

If a therapist let you down after you dare to bring up some topics, it's up to them not you evenly if tremendously painful

[@daisyblossom5176]

Yup my thearpist keeps forcing me to talk about something I'm not ready to talk about kept pushing me to talk about it I told her I haven't write it down yet and I had good day that day and wanted have session a better rest of the day

[@scenepunk09]

She cant force u to say anything. Nudging and encouraging u is fine. But If shes trying to make u its prly a red flag.

[@daisyblossom5176]

I'm tired keep switching every thearpist

[@scenepunk09]

@@daisyblossom5176 I understand. But seeing a bad therapist might do more harm. Have u looked into others in different towns? I think there is literally only 3 therapists in my whole town.

[@daisyblossom5176]

@@scenepunk09 no I just switched to 2 new thearpist since I was admitted i switched more then 5. Times they can't help me my area with resources is bad

[@daisyblossom5176]

Thats why just want to give up no one can't even treat my situation with autism and selective mutism and my triggers all they want is money

[@LessThanThree76]

Hey there Kati! I love your podcasts and would like to ask you a question, but unfortunately the Community tab doesn’t work on iPads for some reason. Is there ANY OTHER WAY to get a question through? Thanks in advance! ❤️

[@davidcrawford9026]

do you defend narcissistic therapists? why?

[@howtoaca7504]

💝💝

[@NovemberMe5213]

#1 First.

[@coffeeandhorses7991]

Why is it just a hypothesis of your own that ppl with trauma go into flight and freeze?. Why not go by actual studies ?. I find it odd that you do therapy based on your own personal opinion rather science based.

[@stephaniedayonot]

She doesn’t “do” therapy based off her personal opinion. She uses her informed judgment to give advice to people that specifically want advice from her. Her judgement is informed by years and years of experience, education, and of COURSE science, studies, and resources. If you’d like to know those resources I think that’s a fair thing to ask but your comment is laced with judgement. You can comment with curiosity and compassion to be a more effective communicator. Why would she even respond if you don’t even give her a normal amount of grace or respect for someone you know nothing about? You’re clearly going to meet any response she gives with a biased aggression. The information you’re seeking and the questions you’re asking are valid but your method is very aggressive and lacks compassion.

[@aam6545]

Why do you continue to watch and comment on these videos? I have seen only ONE comment from you that wasn't rude.

[@natalieedelstein]

It's her hypothesis that the *particular individual person* she's talking about is experiencing that response based on a scientific approach--research says it's likely, education says it's likely, etc. however every individual person has the potential to waver from the research in their response and she leaves space for that possibility by saying it's a hypothesis until she receives confirmation from that person. Science says that too and therapists don't read minds. By the scientific method, it's a hypothesis based on the principles of informed evidence-based practice until there is genuine confirmation from the individual having the experience.

[@truecrimelover2022]

Why do you keep watching and commenting on her vids if you don't like her advice it'd be like me listening to music i don't like and then leaving nasty comments on every video that band puts out

[@aam6545]

They *didn't* "just [ask] a question." Asking honest questions is absolutely fine. A pattern of nothing but negative comments and accusatory questions and insults across multiple videos is not "just ask[ing] a question." If a person consistently doesn't like or agree with a creator's content, why would that person continue to watch that person's content except to stir up contention?

[@coffeeandhorses7991]

40 percent?. Where are getting this info from? I would say there must be a lot of crappy therapist out there or ppl are dropping out of therapy before giving it a chance. You seem to not see the benefit in CBT!. Give us the resources that is coming with 40 percent!.

[@LizVesper]

“Talk therapy alone” meaning no other forms of therapy. You are taking her talking point out of context.

[@dawncraig3340]

This is with talk therapy alone with trauma. CBT alone does work for a lot of those dealing with trauma because of the impact trauma has on the brain. For many, they can't just change how they think. And this is backed by research.

[@scenepunk09]

But she does see the benifit of CBT and has recommended it numerous times. U must have not seen it in her videos yet.

[@truecrimelover2022]

That's just alone and most people including me have been helped with more than one approach including emdr and meds