HELP! My Emotions Are So Overwhelming... ep.163

Ask Kati Anything ep.163 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
This week we're discussing emotion regulation, feeling anxious and depressed at the same time, and why that can be so uncomfortable and dangerous! Kati also explains why we can feel angry at our abusers, but struggle with this anger because they were abused themselves. Next, we discuss attachment to our therapists and why we can miss them after our sessions have ended. We also talk about trauma, nightmares, and how to heal.
Audience questions:
1. My question is about emotion regulation…I think. I have learned to tolerate and move through fairly bad anxiety, and I’m getting better at noticing and stopping depression spirals too, but I still have a big problem: sometimes the depression and anxiety mash together and create this whirlwind of grief, sadness, fear and shame, and I feel like I’m literally exploding inside...
2. I have a history of childhood trauma, and at the moment I feel really torn between feeling angry towards my parents and feeling like I have no right to be angry with them because I am aware that they didn't intentionally hurt me. But...
3. Would it be normal or acceptable to ask my therapist if I can just check in with her every now and then (like maybe every 3 months or so)? Do people do that? I don't have a big need to...
4. My question is also regarding how trauma, in particular childhood trauma, manifests in our bodies. I have a condition called interstitial cystitis/painful bladder syndrome and pelvic floor disorder. After years and years and thousands of dollars seeking medical attention...
5. I want to know why it is so difficult to ask for help? I am so overwhelmed with things to do but won't ask for help. How do I get the courage to ask for...
6. I’m wondering what to do about my intense fear of failure and the need to be perfect. For context, I have a lot of trauma and was emotionally abused/neglected in childhood. Because of this, I have an anxious attachment, OCD, and I spent some time in a mental hospital when I was in college. I also have a history of disordered eating, self harm, generalized anxiety, and ADHD. I am now 23, and...
7. Was just wondering - how to cope with CPTSD nightmares? I've been having them every single night, seeing my triggers everywhere in the dreams and being confronted with my abusers face to face. It's an awful experience...
8. I have a question about trauma and disgust and I am really scared that I might be the only one feeling like that. I recently talked to my best friend about feeling turned on by movie scenes, etc. and I told her that for me that belly tingling...
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[@tranquillelechat4119]

I'm really thankfull to you and the person of the 1st question for having described the "danger zone". Both description and label feel so accurate and help me a lot to understand what is going on for myself. I could have asked the same exempt that I did not know how to to put this in words! So thank you ❤️

[@Lemonady]

Timestmaps! Q1 - 0:48 Q2 - 18:16 Q3 - 34:22 Q4 - 43:13 Q5 - 51:14 Q6 - 56:02 Q7 - 1:03:54 Q8 - 1:09:54

[@SamW117]

Hey Katie! Not sure if we can ask questions in the comments but I wanted to ask; how can we validate our emotions without getting too stuck in them? I have BPD and have extensive practice with DBT skills but the one I struggle with the most is mindfulness. My therapist tells me that blaming and shaming just makes emotions more powerful and to observe them and let them pass rather than get them too wrapped up. It feels a bit invalidating, because I still want to feel my emotions fully too. Any tips on how to accomplish this? Thank you for reading this!

[@DailamiPuang]

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it

[@peterwilliams6361]

there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@DailamiPuang]

@@peterwilliams6361 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.

[@peterwilliams6361]

@@DailamiPuang this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.

[@nikkimckay860]

Good afternoon everyone sending my care and support and love as always to everyone who suffers from mental health issues i hope you are getting though and managing your week the best you can ❤❤❤

[@Jantonov1]

I need to chill with a Katy Morton podcast this morning. It's been such a sunny, warm spring here in BC that I've been blessedly avoiding a lot of my mental health concerns at a bit of a cost. I don't form adrenaline and dopamine listening to you!

[@lisacrow5762]

Thanks Kati for explaining about agitated anxiety. It does feel like a danger zone as the energy needs to leave the body. I hear that EMDR or somatic therapy may be more useful. Something that I need to talk to my therapist about as I go into overwhelm and meltdown and by that point I don't remember any of the soothing tools.

[@lisacrow5762]

I push the anger down too and then it turns into rage. I like the idea of getting to know anger a bit more especially visualising it.

[@moodymaranda]

I just came to say that I love her blouse in this episode. I know she's worn it before in videos and I may have said something about it before, but I wish I knew where she got it 😅😅

[@stacijones5888]

To help with my anxiety and depression my therapist had me track and write down my feelings and what was happening then label it as anxiety or depression if thats what it was. It kind of has helped me remember to seperate the two which makes them essier to deal with individually. It works for me anyways.

[@SusieQ78]

For question 7, maybe ask your dr about prozocin. It’s specifically for ptsd nightmares and once I got on the right dose, it really has made a difference and allowed my brain to rest better when I sleep.

[@nikkimckay860]

Kati Morton. Hello Kati good afternoon I am watching your new AKA podcast now it's 12:22 pm in the uk you are looking beautiful I really appreciate how you go into so much detail answering people's questions and everyone's questions are always informative and interesting you do amazing work ❤❤

[@schmemmm]

As well as EMDR, ETF can also be a good one to learn for yourself so that you can try release things when you need to. You can tap it out or imagine tapping the points if you are in a situation where you can't physically tap. Both can help.

[@aly.steiner_tx]

Love your work Kati, thank you 🩷

[@tamiwigginton7137]

I'm loving your channel!!!❤❤❤❤

[@nancyliawoods]

Love to listen to your videos so much, they calm me ❤❤❤

[@hannah__jemima]

What a compassionate response to Q1 💓💓

[@Jalentheuntold]

As a person who has a personality disorder, it’s so hard for me to manage my emotions even with medication and it sucks because healthcare professionals just want me to change my personality but it’s hard because I’m so emotional.

[@Oliver_Bryan]

I had the addon for question one, about trying to get to neutral/numb (and I meant numb) and deliberately getting depressed. I think you are right with your first hypothesis, that I do it as I know it. As a side note, I almost never feel good, as I avoid feeling good at all counts as then it just makes things worse as it feels so weird and makes feeling bad worse. Thanks for the insight Kati, you are great.

[@huha123]

I was on Venlafaxine for years, ended up it was having side effects compounding health problems, we ended up increasing my dosage and I became very lethargic and was almost to the point of me dying. I had medically induced lupus, GOUT, diabetes, wonky blood work constantly so they thought I had cancer. I stopped the med cold-turkey, with in days I felt better and with in weeks I was a completely different person. Blood is normal, no diabetes, no GOUT, no suspected cancer, no lupus effects, my energy skyrocketed and my anxiety and depression went manageable levels. But life throws all the hate my way and now scared to take anything that is supposed to help. Now I am stuck with CBD but can't afford to take it all the time and, well I have nothing to help anymore.

[@Sunday.scaries]

Hi Kati!

[@nikkimckay860]

Mc lovin. Hello I'm Nikki 👋 I like saying hello and meeting other people on here who suffer from mental health issues I like listening and offering advice and support too iv been watching and following Kati for years 🙂

[@timelordthefirst4835]

Hi kati.. i feel to always push people away. I don't know why.. but i feel like im always an option.. as in if one if their other friends aren't available.. they'll talk to me instead. So i get to a certain point and i say enough is enough and i back away. They then say "you're deliberately no contacting me so are we done?" And im like.. why do i feel like im the bad one all the time?

[@maskedzafiro5929]

Tw: I haven’t talked to a therapist but I’ll assume I have experienced the danger zone multiple times. At least for me it feels like I’m uneasy and screaming inside “I wanna d*e, I wanna d*e” but outside I’m just very weak and spacing out very often, looking down almost through a tunel. It’s like I wanna scream and punch something or myself but restraining myself to do any of those cuz I don’t live alone. This is when I start planning and experimenting with su*c*de. So if this I’ve experienced is the danger zone then yeah, it is in fact dangerous.

[@notsure9853]

Long cold shower .. I use this method alot

[@cathyjennings5580]

Fibromyalgia syndrome symptoms 😢 😫.???

[@anyaliss592]

How do we get to ask a question?

[@Mia.1407]

On the opinions that don’t matter KZbin channel community tab she adds a post to comment questions on Mondays

[@cristinaevans139]

My partner of17 years 3 days ago

[@fourbirds4201]

I am scared and i dont know what is happening. The other me used to tell us a joke. He thinks he i perfectly sane, but thee other us thinks they are multiple people. That made us upset, but we miss the jokes.

[@fourbirds4201]

Im the me that fixes us when we are broken. I can only come when we shower. We have had plumbing problems and i have not been able to fix us like I normally would. I just showered and am feeling better, but we are going to let out the us who watches kati because she helps us.

[@fourbirds4201]

I remembered when I forgot? I was watching viva frei and Robert barns talk about jack murphy and Robert barns mentioned fat mike. That was when this started. I still don't remember what i did when i was 17 to make myself forget. All i remember is i was taking psychology courses and i learned if you spray someone in the face well saying words you can train them to react to words as if they are sprayed in the face by water. I don't know what I did with the sound, or if i was multiple before I made myself forget?

[@fourbirds4201]

Sorry i just started the video. We are trying to ask for help in healthier ways, but things keep taking us away from the present. We decided deleting the comments makes the other us angrier. I know I need to stop drinking, but it makes the other voices go away. I don't want to hurt other people like the way I was hurt.

[@fourbirds4201]

I started a journal on Tuesday, and I filled the whole notebook by the time I woke up this morning. I don't remember writing a lot of it, and a lot of what I wrote is disturbing. It is helping me understand what is happening, but when I read it it scares me. I will try to work on boundaries in addition to learning how to ask for help. I told my friends about what is happening online this morning. They said they were there for me. I am scared to show other people what I wrote. I understand I am fully responsible for all my mistakes.

[@fourbirds4201]

Remembering you don't remember is very weird. I think about how I don't remember what I did when I was 17. Than I think that was 9 years ago. Now I'm just sitting on that thought 9 years. I don't feel like I have experience 9 years. Now i am back to feeling uncomfortable. I will go back to writing in the new notebook. I am sorry I keep doing this. I am responsible for my actions, but I don't feel in control of my actions. The book makes me think about a gun that accidently goes off. It is not the gun who is responsible for the accident it is the person.

[@cathyjennings5580]

Chronic FATIGUE 😩?

[@moisesrosas7916]

Hola: 1. Necesitas ayuda?. Do you need help? 2. Que necesitas?. What do you need? 3. En que puedo ayudarte? How can I help you?

[@monkeyboy19761]

Minute 14:20 hit me in the gut.

[@tkhallingvideos]

I have only seen 2 of your KZbin posts and can not follow you any longer. I have no time for a so called professional who hasn't got the strength to avoid using foul language.

[@kakunamatatta]

it makes her (and other therapists/professionals) more human and relatable. Plus this is the podcast channel- I don't believe she typically swears on her Kati Morton channel. Hope this helps. I don't believe professionalism should turn us into robots

[@bethh6023]

Lindsay, I agree. I try not to swear during my therapy sessions, but sometimes, it just comes out. I want my therapist to be real! I wouldn't want to be judged.

[@kakunamatatta]

@@bethh6023 100%, they wouldn't judge you at all, let alone for swearing during the session. And fyi my therapist swears in session more than i do ahah