STAY IN THERAPY FOREVER? The Truth About Why We May Want To And Why It's Unhealthy

[@Katimorton]

Good morning everyone. I hope you all have a great week. See you when I get back xoxo

[@nikkimckay860]

Good afternoon Kati and hello good to see you again after watching and listening to your new video the other day about you taking a break to take care of yourself so glad you did this Thursday s AKA podcast though been needing this today so Meany things making my depression worse right now you looking beautiful with your hair down and nice flower top ❤️❤️

[@cascade00]

It's not the dependence. It's that therapists posture to sell. Look at what your momma Ramani (Trump video) says about what business men do. You therapists posture to sell, and if people continued with you, they'd realize that.

[@cascade00]

Therapists hate people finding out, that they're simply posturing sales people. And they rush to discard people before they figure it out.

[@ray.deathray]

1:10 Worries around ending therapy 14:35 Feeling self-repulsion 20:30 Diet culture 30:03 Anti-hug 36:00 Sandtray therapy 40:26 DBT x CPTSD 46:35 Grief 53:15 CPTSD x cancer 57:39 Burden boundaries (this was my question - yay!) 1:00:15 Levels of outpatient care for ED

[@emileehoerl98]

On grief… I had a therapist once explain it to me like this, when after over a year of grieving a broken engagement I asked when it will ever feel better or “less”: She drew a circle and asked me to fill it in with markers showing how I felt. Black for grief, green for excitement etc etc. The circle was close to all black. She asked me to erase it to increase or decrease certain feelings. Of course I couldn’t erase the markers. She explained that the grief will always be with me, but that my circle which holds all the ways I can feel will grow. For a month I added colors for any feelings that were stronger than what I had felt since that session. The paper slowly became colorful around the grief. This helped me so much, while not dismissing the pain I endured or continue to feel many years later. I know not all analogies work for everyone, but I hope one person will see this or maybe even try it, and find it a little encouraging. TLDR: your grief will not necessarily change or get smaller, but your world will grow and change around it, and it will not take up so much of your thoughts, life, and world ❤

[@alisantoro9622]

On question 1, I think this is a super nuanced and tricky topic. In many cases 1-2 years of training wheels and then off on your own is a perfectly fine expectation for many casual solutions based therapy consumers throughout their lives. But for some of us, especially those with attachment or relational wounding, having the stable and steadfast base in our relationship with our therapist is super important and helpful to maintain longer term. I agree that the goal should be to fortify your supports in your life so that you aren't solely dependent on a therapist, however a consistent and long term therapeutic relationship can be extremely enriching and valuable. And also I agree that the main thing to do is always TTYT - talk to your therapist, so they can help! The goal for me is not to let go of my therapist asap, at least not for now or anytime soon. I work with many other practitioners to have multiple eyes on me, but my therapist is home base and she will be, I expect, for quite some time. What I need from her as I heal is the reassurance that she is not going anywhere and that she will be here for me as long as I want and need. That therapy ends on MY terms. And that our connection is not severed if and when I do move on someday. And thankfully she gives me that reassurance and I believe her. With that knowledge, I can sink in and do the work while trusting she won't pull the rug out from under me when I struggle with my attachment to her. My therapist is neither trying to get rid of me nor fostering an unhealthy dependence. But she is meeting me where I am and is committed to me and our work. I don't personally have a goal of saying goodbye to my therapist someday - I frankly don't plan to do my life without her. I know that I absolutely could, but why would I want to? Therapy is a wonderful gift especially when you have the privilege of developing such a strong, secure and safe alliance with a therapist who is a good fit. That isn't to say people shouldn't move on if they're ready, or if resources are an issue. It's just simply not a goal of mine at this time, and 16 months in, we're really just getting started in so many ways.

[@Samone314]

Thank you so much Kati for making videos. They have literally changed my life. I want you to know that I am grateful.

[@wibblewobble489]

The person against hugging where you mentioned sensory aversions: things like Tastes, looks (mayo for eg); textures of foods (jelly like things and or creamy things); touch aversions including tight clothing etc are also all symptoms of Incest ptsd. They're all discussed in "The incest survivors aftereffects checklist".Severla books on it also mention such things. Eg "the Courage to heal"

[@UrMomsChauffer]

I stumbled upon your channel today. I love the fact that you speak very real, using obscenities and phrases that some might feel are unprofessional. These are things that help some people connect, feel more comfortable, honest, and okay to open up. I like your style. Your approach is great, and you honestly remind me of my therapist. Thank you for taking the time and putting out the work to bring your knowledge and advice to people. Mental health is such a taboo subject in our society, and it isn't taken nearly as seriously as physical health. It needs to be discussed more often.

[@snuffyscorner]

These videos always make my day. Thank you for uploading them. ((Hugs))

[@Katimorton]

You're welcome.

[@dr.jenniferma3914]

This is simply your opinion. There's nothing "wrong" with wanting the same therapist for life. These are valuable relationships that don't have a forced end-point. If you prefer to see clients for a short time, that's your preference.

[@timtreefrog9646]

Thank you for this... I'm awaiting my ASD assessment. Part of ASD is being born with an aversion to change. It isn't something which can be worked on because it is how your brain was formed at birth. Not liking change permeates through all of my life. So for ASD clients, it isn't attachment related. Talking about transitions is just not going to resolve anything. Therefore having someone life long would be most beneficial. Thank you for saying this. I don't feel so bad now.

[@brylaw]

@@timtreefrog9646 I'm glad someone else said it too! I'm autistic too, and there are certain things that will always be difficult no matter what skills and coping techniques I develop. Finding a good therapist that is able to help me actively reflect on things with insightful questions when things are going well, and work through things like social challenges, change management, and strategizing when they aren't has been so hard. It's even hard when you're in a crisis or burnout and need therapy NOW. Having been at that crisis point and taking months to find someone to work with me, I'd rather maintain the long-term touch point to the mental health system so I can access care when I need it.

[@cascade00]

She said at 9:00 that what she does is limited, what she does is act as sherriff when speaking up regarding the fakeness of mental health pros and yet she worships withe man and is a misogynistic. She demands respect yet has no respect for people who have deeply affected by caucasian misogyny and caucasian hatred.

[@cascade00]

She does not understand systematic misogyny, systematic hatred of her own race of people. She won't discuss it. And she does a lot of Unspoken for Ramanj thinking nobody notices her, and that people are too stupid to know what she does.

[@kathrynmacdonnell6224]

But ideally you want to be strong enough to work your way through life and ultimately trust yourself. It's good, I think, to check in with a trusted professional maybe once a month.

[@paigem7886]

This video gives me anxiety because its so hard to be vulnerable. i started only this year but my therapist is older (80s! I googled her lol) and technically retired and i worry that she may just need to be done at some point. My worry is around having to find another one! During the pandemic i got rejected multiple times reaching out to therapists when i was really desperate.

[@paigem7886]

When I am asking for help, and I keep getting 'no', it triggers my traumas.

[@nikkimckay860]

Kati iv been though haveing cancer and it made my mental health worse I was very emotional for a long time still trying to get use to my body 😥

[@nikkimckay860]

AKA & OTDM podcast Kati good to see you looking good and well even if you don't feel good inside and you have been feeling very burned out and tired thank you for doing this new AKA podcast I always look forward to the people s questions and hearing your answers I still have had no letter or phone call from the mental health services here in uk I know I must just stay calm and hold in there and wait the waiting for therapy isn't good here ❤️

[@lucyscreamsintothevoid]

Now I’m insecure abt how long I’ve been in therapy😅 I’ve been seeing the same therapist for 4 years and I’ve made a lot of progress but I’m still quite unstable sometimes just due to the nature of bipolar

[@Sarahhedger]

Ive been seeing my therapist almost 8 years in november, dont feel insecure especially if youve made progress.

[@pixxie__]

I've been in therapy for 9 years. you're totally fine.

[@jessman8597]

Another amazing video. Appreciate all your hard work.

[@nors222]

first! you’re the best kati!

[@Katimorton]

Hi Nora :)

[@mookymookymooo]

Please rest now xx

[@michaelgolden640]

If a Therapist "refers you out" Is that something they are ethically required to disclose, or is that something were they might say "Hey, I'm leaving this practice and need to move you to another person" And how long being with a therapist is too long?

[@yasmeenalkordi595]

I wanted to get advice for the community. I haven’t seen my therapist for a couple of months now. Last time we spoke we were going to pick up after I gave birth (which was almost 2 months ago). However, I emailed her in regards to needing support because of my postpartum issues. Background, I experienced horrible postpartum depression with my first daughter and did not want to go down that road again. I still haven’t gotten a response back and that was 3 weeks ago. What should I do?

[@andreafeelsfantastic]

Email again or call to set up an appointment. Everyone misses emails sometimes… I think she is not intentionally ignoring you

[@rachelmartin2424]

Weird that you think therapy long term isn't healthy but you have been in therapy long term. Or do you mean staying in therapy with the same person continuously? I don't really understand. Being dependent on a therapist & feeling abandoned by them are unhealthy but reacting to those feelings in an unhealthy way means you still need therapy? That doesn't make sense. I guess I missed something.

[@kattentissari3247]

B4 start: Or, "staying on meds the rest of my life?" Some get by with therapy only.

[@Amber24426]

Yeah, I do find the disparity here interesting- how a lot of therapists hold a double standard when it comes to the notion of taking psychiatric medication for life versus working with the same therapist for an undefined period of time.

[@angelag937]

I told my therapist (almost 4 years with her): “What if I what, not need, to keep seeing you forever as I want to do other things, like go to my hair dresser ones a month, because it makes me feel good?

[@carolegrafton5748]

I can't decide if I'm hearing your privilege or naivete. Keeping a therapist for now most of 35 years stems from having a chronic mental illness, much like having a cardiologist for a heart condition. I keep the dialog open so that if I fall ill (which doesn't happen as frequently as when I first was diagnosed, but has resulted in weeks/months long inpatient admissions as recently as 7 years ago), I don't have to start from scratch with a provider while my functioning is impaired. It would be foolish/stupid to assume that once the surgery is over I don't need regular follow-up. I have 3-4 trusted, long-term friends but a therapist is not the same. I need my current therapist to watch and listen for patterns in my behavior or thinking over time. The times I haven't had a therapist, I got really spun out with no one skilled enough, let alone whose job it was, to rein it in and help me stay safe. Maybe you've only ever seen patients who needed to talk through things one good time, but I assure you there's another population out here and your video (a) smacks of ableism and (b) might be really dangerous. Even in California it can't be a good idea to give broad brush medical guidance at large on KZbin. Garden variety fitness personalities have to include a warning to check with a physician. You might want to include similar language.

[@evaschroeder4614]

How did you become a therapist? I almost became one.

[@evaschroeder4614]

I grew up Catholic I suffered from religious trauma. It was horrible. Ironically God helped me get it straightened out. People in churches aren't God. There's a lot of abuse of adolescents and children in churches. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I didn't have a the right therapist growing up.

[@nikkimckay860]

Some of these questions are triggering 😥

[@munchinghamster902]

Hope you can feel better soon!

[@nikkimckay860]

@@munchinghamster902 hello and thank you for the nice comment

[@Lily083]

i skipped like half bc they r triggering lol

[@favored81]

Katie please take your break lol

[@Hypnotic-tist]

I have thought about this but we don't have to stay in therapy. Hypnosis, nlp and other psychotherapy can literally completely remove some of the mental health difficulties people have.

[@alphadog3384]

Need a organizer! The rest will fall into place.