#64 "I realize that I might be autistic..."

[@pinkcupcakes7]

Time stamps ⏰ Q1- 2:44 - Meeting your kids' emotional needs as a parent Q2 - 16:00 - Autism & how to talk with your therapist about it Q3 - 22:30 - Uncomfortable with swingers clubs and seeing husband with another woman Q4 - 34:04 - Trauma & PTSD Q5 - 39:54 - Lessons about people that Kati has learned as a therapist Q6 - 47:07 - Therapist crossing boundaries Q7 - 55:20 - Experiences that have had an impact on Kati Q8 - 1:02:15 - Unstable childhood Q9 - 1:11:50 - How to deal with having a lot still to talk through in therapy Q10 - 1:15:44 - Fantasizing a therapist comforting you p.s. thank you for all you do Kati🙌🏻❣

[@randombro3013]

Τhanks for taking the time😊

[@RabiWielkiePracie]

Thanks for stamps :D

[@celeste5401]

Thank you for the time stamps👍🏽

[@comfortablynumb9342]

I'm pretty sure I'm a bit autistic. I don't have a therapist. Maybe I need one.

[@Katimorton]

Good morning everyone!

[@itsshai3447]

Have a happy Thursday Kati 💛🌻

[@nikkimckay860]

Good evening kati just listening and watching new podcast now I like the white background glad to be here and glad your back 🙂

[@Jawskillaful]

Good evening Kati! Just tuning into your podcast.

[@smritisrivastava]

Hey Kati, your background is a little hard on the eyes. Love your videos. Thank you for everything you do for us.

[@treatmenice1564]

The blinds are fine, take your time.

[@DrummerGrrrl]

Treatmenice, I like your screen name. Except now it reminds me of that Pat Benatar song, "Treat Me Right" and, although it's a kick-ass song... it's going to get stuck in my brain for days! LOL. I guess that's both good (positive regard of self with those lyrics) and bad (Help! Earworms are so annoying).

[@Malin987]

❤️

[@ethanmichael17]

Nice rhyme!

[@moriahbh951]

Yes! Apologizing to children, as adults, is so underrated.

[@Ray-uf8dj]

WHOEVER WROTE QUESTION #2, PLEASE READ: I did a double-take and asked myself if I wrote to this podcast but forgot. Whoever asked the second question about Autism, I am going through the exact same thing. I discovered that I have Autism about a month or so ago. I already talked about it with my therapist but I really had to convince myself. In doing a cost-benefit analysis I realized that the benefit of telling them immensely outweighed not telling them, so even if I was wrong, it would help my therapist understand what it is like to live with my brain. However, when I talked to them about how I had come to this diagnosis, my thoughts were all jumbled and I was not able to fully explain my rationale. This was exacerbated by the feeling of being put on the spot which made me nervous and cause me to forget. I have found it immensely helpful to put it down on paper, I to questioned if it was just anxieties because I would come to realizations and then not be able to organize them. However, I recently started putting it on a document, and to my amazement, the document is already four pages and I have not even fully put it all down. Having something that I can constantly add to and look back to when my confidence gets shaken or I forget something, is such a relief and extremely validating. My new special interest has become learning about Autism, the more I learn about it, the more validating it is to a part of me that has never been validated. If the person who wrote the second question or anyone else is in a similar situation, I would really love to talk with you. I believe that it would be incredibly helpful to finally talk to someone going through the same thing and I could help lead you in a similar direction of resources that finally gave me the feeling of validation.

[@purrkinje7883]

I think with the autism diagnosis, a lot of the problems I have with this thinking that you need a diagnosis are the barriers in either getting a diagnosis (high cost, not all diagnosticians are good at diagnosing adult women, etc.) and also some barriers that having a diagnosis can create because of ableism (you can’t be a foster parent/adopt if you have a diagnosis in a lot of the US, if you’re trans, you might not have access to a gender-affirming surgery, etc.) as well as just micro aggressions from ableist people. Granted, if you go outside of your insurance, the diagnosis doesn’t have to be on your permanent record, but these diagnoses are super expensive (often in the thousands). So for me, weighing the costs and benefits, I can still find ways to accommodate myself by allowing myself to stim and unmask without necessarily having an official diagnosis. But it also means that I don’t have access to official accommodations which at this point is fine. And the autistic community accepts self-diagnosed individuals because we understand the reasons why a diagnosis is something that takes a certain amount of privilege to obtain.

[@AmethystWoman]

Wow. Interesting about the repercussions of this diagnosis. We should always look at the implications of what therapists (and doctors) use as labels. I had an elevated blood pressure once and they put me down as hypertension. I guess it helps the doctor but with pre-existing conditions... Well if track but consequences matter and we should be mindful. Thanks for this great point and as an invisibly disabled and neurodivergent person, I'm sorry for micro-aggressions you feel. BTW, with fibro, blood pressures hurt. I mean really hurt. (It can be a sign that you have it.) So the pain can cause my blood pressure to go up. We certainly don't want a diagnosis because of that. Have them use a child cuff on your wrist. No pain and your blood pressure will be more accurate. Don't get treated/diagnosed wrongly. Just an fyi.

[@hannalowercase5928]

i have a question though. no one is going to know what your diagnoses are unless you say them, right? like, there's no record or anything i think

[@Sarahhedger]

I actually like the background, I’m more of a silent watcher I never really comment, but truly appreciate these videos so don’t worry about the background because the content you’re talking about is way more important! 💖

[@katie5972]

the timing of this episode is so ironic because i made it a goal at my last therapy appointment to bring up the possibility of me being autistic and she brought it up herself when i was talking around it LOL love your content - i always look forward to these uploads!!

[@caribarker1]

You could be in your bathroom and I wouldn’t care. It’s you and the content that is important! You are amazing! Thank you for being there for us. You’re amazing! Don’t worry about the background. ❤️

[@derrickk773]

I finally broached the autism topic with my therapist. Turns out she had been thinking about it too, but was sort of letting me lead the discussion.

[@amandacesar4830]

Hey Kati, I appreciate your videos so much. I am autistic but I was diagnosed at the age of 6. Makes me happy to see you talking about ASD because it is a rarely spoken topic in my environment. I also enjoy to see people looking for help as so many autistic kids go undiagnosed until adulthood. I was only diagnosed because I moved countries when I was a child and only then my parents started to worry about my „strange“ behavior. I reckon, if I had stayed in my home country, I might have gone undiagnosed.

[@elliem529]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response to question number 6. I really appreciate it! I had not even thought about how my anxiety played a role in this because she is definitely doing this with the best intentions. Thank you so so much!

[@cindyperez1085]

Kati, thank you so very much for taking the time to thoughtfully answer the questions posed by your listeners/viewers each podcast. I appreciate your down to earth approach. Many years ago, my minute by minute (second by second, really) grasp on living was literally a life or death one. I was very unstable. Had really bad mental health intervention for an extended period of time. I was very lost. I didn't know who I was any longer. Looking back now, I realize I had so lost myself in the insanity of bad and destructive "help" that I was super hesitant to trust my gut instinct which was to search out the right mental health providers FOR ME. I had a dream one night about a psychologist in town. I didn't know her but in my dream, she was calmly and supportively reviewing my life with me. Going at the right speed for me emotionally and mentally. It is a miracle that she took me on as a patient as her practice was full. She led me out of darkness by walking right beside me and going at a pace that I could endure. She kept it real with me, gently nudging me along. I bring this up because you remind me so much of her. You do wonderful work for your listeners/viewers. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for actively hearing what is being asked in the questions each week. I saw a quote on a coffee mug today that says "I wish you lived next door". That about sums up how I feel about the work you do here. I bet I am not alone when I say: Kati, I wish I knew you in real life. You are special.

[@lisasnoozy3749]

Thank you for answering my comment on first question. My kids are now 16, 18, 20, 24 and 26. I'm honest with them and apologizing but I just try to be better everyday. And I see baby steps in relationships improving. Thank you for the great advice! 😋

[@marinakiell1069]

The blinds makes it look like a jail where the dark space between the blinds looks like bars and you’re wearing orange too 😂

[@zc8673]

I actually like the background, tbh. It feels very bright and a little more cheery.

[@toniaditto6791]

My favorite song! Your pod cast has really given me such a better understanding with mental health and crisis.

[@neurodimensions7509]

To the person wondering if they are Autistic: I would highly recommend contacting a professional with experience diagnosing ADULT WOMEN/AFAB PEOPLE. If your current therapist is not especially knowledgeable about autism, do not be discouraged if they say they don’t think you are Autistic. It is common for professionals to only be aware of more obvious Autistic traits and overlook more nuanced experiences. I will say it’s very common to not begin to question if you are Autistic until major life changes and less structured environments such as college or the workplace. I was not diagnosed until I was 23 and did well in school without any supports. The Autistic community has emphasized that one’s autism experience is very dependent on the context and most research is based off of Autistic people who are struggling in environments not made for them. It is completely possible for Autistic people to thrive under circumstances well-suited to them.

[@diablominero]

I know as an autistic person, I have difficulty accessing my memories of a lot of my childhood struggles. Maybe the person from question 2 had a worse time than they remember.

[@Authentistic-ism]

People can weaponize anything, including sex positivity. i've been to a swinger party. I definitely got a "prude-shaming" vibe for not participating EVEN though the rules of those parties state you aren't required to participate to attend. HOWEVER the particular party I went to specifically did NOT allow solo men to attend the party. They had to be "escorted" by a female guest, usually their wife or girlfriend, to gain admittance. This is why a husband usually can't simply just go to the swingers party by himself. His wife is his ticket in.

[@politereminder6284]

In that case he's being selfish. She's being underassertive.

[@THEGIRLKISSERPROJECT]

For anyone questioning- autism doesn’t have to equal suffering. Autism is just a different way of being. There is no need to treat autism, and no treatments for it anyway. People like being diagnosed because it’s so much easier to work with your autistic brain than against it. It’s freeing to be your authentic self. Autism is a spectrum in the same way humanity is. Autism is beautiful. Please don’t be afraid of it.

[@julissaparra1638]

Regarding question #10: I had a similar conversation with my therapist but about another topic (attachment) that I felt ashamed of, nervous to talk about, and overall WANTED to talk about it after years of realizing what I was doing.. I practiced the conversation everyday, everytime I was driving or had alone time. The session would come and go and I wouldn’t say it. One day in session I told myself what’s the worst that can happen? I already feel overwhelmed with my feelings so I might as well talk about it and work on this thing that’s consuming me. So in our session, there was a gap of that awkward silence 😝 and she said: “so is there anything you want to talk about..” and I said yes. And begin to express how the situation made me feel, how long it’s been going on, and how embarrassed, ashamed, and overwhelmed I was everyday because of it. She basically ensured I was in a safe spot to say anything and everything I wanted. She reminded me that I’m ok and that what I feel is valid. So it helped me to proceed in talking about the root issue I had. I now feel extremely relieved and have been working on bettering myself and finding healthy coping mechanisms. I wish you the best! Know that you are not alone, your feelings are valid, and there’s hope. ❤️❤️

[@elodiepollock7326]

To add to #1, you can also just genuinely ask them what you can do to better meet their needs, talk care of them and help them take care of themselves. Children sometimes have surprisingly great input and they might be able to help you understand where they need or want more support in what ever shape or form

[@hannalowercase5928]

i relate to what you said about good parenting SO MUCH. i have severe ocd, anxiety and just a lot of things, but my mom is the best mom ever. sometimes things just happen

[@surbhisardana5466]

I've been trying to search this topic everywhere and thinking how to bring it up with my therapist. Thank you so much!

[@Katimorton]

You're welcome Surbhi :)

[@diablominero]

I'm listing feelings publicly so it doesn't feel like journaling or talking to a mirror (those both feel unnatural and wrong). Please feel free to ignore me: -Yesterday morning, I got enough extra caffeine and theobromine into my system beyond my level of tolerance that I felt the pure joy I always hope for when I'm having tea, and so rarely get to experience. It felt like omnipotence, like anything I wanted would happen. -Yesterday afternoon, I experienced something I think I've heard described as ADHD paralysis, though I don't know the standard emotion word for it. I wanted to start a task, and I had enough willpower to prevent myself from doing anything else. But I didn't have enough willpower to actually start the task. It felt like all I was managing to do was squish myself against an unyielding wall. Eventually I got sick of it and gave up. -Last evening, I got the distinct and uncommon (for me) displeasure of feeling anxiety. A situation involving my mother had some features in common with a past situation that I think barely crossed the line into trauma, and being reminded made my heart speed up, and I couldn't calm down for a while. I think if you do an integral over time, I've caused a lot more trouble than I've received in my relationship with my parents, but my abstract sense of fairness doesn't actually make anxiety fun in the moment. Who would have guessed? (And no, it wasn't because of the caffeine. It was thoroughly metabolized away by that part of the day.) -I'm sure there's more, but I'm having a hard time figuring out exactly what they were because I spent some time a bit dissociated. I think there might be some "offended" mixed in there for a few moments.

[@ChaimaDjaa]

Okay I'm convinced you made this for me I just finished a book called "the kiss quotient" and the main character was autistic and I could see a lot of myself in her and her traits and at the end of the book the author explained how she was diagnosed with autism at the age of 34 and I was just about to do some research because I feel like i could be autistic too I can't believe you made this thank youuuuu

[@Lapplefield92071]

Being a parent is so hard! My kids are teens and our family moves every few years (military). Our oldest is in 11th grade and on his 6th school. One of our kids is having a really hard time with this last move and my mom quilt is through the roof! I've seen it mentioned that moving a lot can cause trauma for children. We offer an emotionally stable home life with lots of fun and love, but I worry about the long term effects these moves will have on our kids. They say "kids are resilient," and I'm sure they are, but I have one kid currently in the weeds. I appreciate you addressing kids emotional health and would love to see a video on more. Maybe on how to help teens with low self-esteem and how to support them through difficult times. I'm sure moving a lot would not be on that list, but unfortunately that's our life right now. Thanks for making videos like these they are so helpful!

[@hannalowercase5928]

sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, things will or will not scar someone. it's weird, but my mom for example is an amazing mom, but i have separation anxiety disorder since i was very little because she would go out. i was fine and being taken care of every single time, she did whatever she could, but it still scarred me. sometimes it's just a gamble, unfortunately, but i think the most important thing is to be there for your kids and always talk to them about stuff and communicate!

[@drpiv8549]

This is the first episode I've listened to. I really enjoyed it, I've subscribed to the podcast!

[@nektulosnewbie]

The silver lining to how common trauma/suffering in general is is that it allows others to better understand one another. My family has a history of headaches that can be crippling to some when migraines. Some have had people straight up tell them the headaches aren't real and are delusions they're inventing because that person has never had one in their life and therefore they don't exist.

[@soundaryavuppuluri320]

Kati ,you are always my psychology guide .... You saved me from trauma bonding as I have realised that after your video on trauma bonding .... Till date whenever iam feeling down I just wanna listen to your words to feel better .... Your are my angel ..... Love you Kati...❤️A down to earth soul

[@wolfdreams2000]

Kati, im grateful for this autism info you share in this. I was taught to "fake it till I make it" so at 61, I relate to the statement of feeling like ive not struggled enough(according to the dsm5). My therapist and I have just begun exploring if I'm on the spectrum or not. A lot I've read fits, and for each AQ test I've done to see if I'm on the right track, I scored pretty high, so I might be on the right road. It seems like the dsm5 is a bit outdated for newer research. Thanks for all you do! 😊

[@raywood8187]

I think, regarding the DSM, that they could have something like an e-version for Therapists that they could update more frequently. There could be x.1 partial updates or even x.1a where there are just recent upates to specific disorders identification, definitions, treatment methods, etc. Why wait years until a whole tome is compiled?

[@DarkArachnid666]

Wait... The internet doesn't count? :p

[@rhuechantal6316]

Ok. Now, I have to ask, was this intentional? The scene looks like you're in jail! Lol! Even wearing orange! It just gave me a giggle. Love your content.

[@CHARLESSBRONSON]

Love that answer @katie makes total sense. I'm moving to Vegas soon from Los Angeles, is just so darn expensive here now. Im the only one working in my family. Thanks for everything 💖

[@natcord7]

This has helped tremendously. Thanks.

[@Kkenzielong]

Welcome to ATX! I love your content. Have a happy new home! 🏡

[@keelyschemmer]

My therapist says I’m not on the spectrum, even though my symptoms align with autism, so I went to my psychiatrist and asked to get tested

[@Delightfulwitch]

That’s what im about to do

[@diablominero]

I know in that situation I'd be worried that I was "shopping around" to look for false positives, or something like that, but autism is very underdiagnosed and so it's absolutely worth getting a second or third opinion.

[@nataliehilton2661]

I'm sorry this is happening but go for a second opinion

[@elizabethbed649]

Amazing questions, I could relate to few. Thank you for your answers and support Kati. Ps. I don’t mind background, but when I don’t wear my glasses, it looks like it’s prison window behind ;)

[@T.Beattie89]

I’ve been waiting for something on autism ❤️ Thank you!!!

[@pardisarjmandi8889]

Just what I needed 😍 thank you

[@stoffls]

Great as always - and I like the shirt with this background, looks good. And ICD stands for "International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems"

[@Crux1fy]

this is a topic ive been looking for because i actually think i may be autistic and need ways to bring it up with my therapist!

[@astridfinley7763]

The way I brought it up was to try to find little things that happen within session that might point it. For example, like struggling to make eye contact or being frustrated with the huge window in the office, ect. I brought it up slowly... I dont know if you do this, but for me there were a ton of what I call "question mark moments" in my life that I wasn't able to really understand until I found out about autism. For example, in social situations, I would tell him about situations where I felt I missed something. One time, I had someone I thought was a "friend" who would ask me questions about my life and I would tell them.. and then one day she told me that she didn't care about any of it it. I was so confused. And I had no idea that I didn't read body language or facial expression until I looked it up on the internet and realized that there were so many subtleties to it that I had no idea about. Idk. Things like this are good to think about. I eventually wrote my therapist 5 pages worth of evidence about it, because I'm a little extra lol

[@huddlespith]

To the person that thinks they might be autistic, hi 👋. I got diagnosed at 20 after feeling like how you have said you feel. I hope it makes you feel better that a lot of us feel, or are made to feel, that we aren’t “ill enough” to look into getting diagnosed, but like Katie said, that’s not true! I would recommend following autistic subreddits and Instagram accounts, or whatever social media you like, and see how you relate to the stuff there. Also we are always open to people who think they might be autistic asking questions, and a lot of us will often post stuff saying “I’ve realised I do this thing, and my friends/family don’t, is this an autistic thing?” Which can really help to make you feel valid. Also self-diagnosis is valid and you are welcome to join in online without a formal diagnosis. Hope this helps 😊

[@julissaparra1638]

Does anyone else hear the podcast but not listen, so you gotta watch the whole thing again. 😝😬 I cannot concentrate lol.

[@Gshkent]

I’ve grown up in a dysfunctional family, I’ve dissociated a lot of my younger years and my parent(s) were so detached from me. They were either completely absent or if present, didn’t provide love, concern, attachment… regularly wasnt washed, had clean clothes, never had nutritious diet… sometimes went hungry, etc. Now as an adult I feel like I have to mask around people and feel like I could be on the spectrum. However, with the severe neglect my therapist says that that can cause changes in the brain and that can result in being neurodiverse and not autistic. So how would someone tell the 2 apart? Especially when I can’t go to my parents and ask them how I was when growing because they sure didn’t care or pay attention to how I was or wasn’t developing normally. Compounding that problem is how many times we had to move… I was never in the same school for more then a year until 7th grade.

[@minervaroman6107]

I think it's very thoughtful for her trying to have lunch.

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello everyone happy Thursday some helpful Friendly words take time out today or tonight to feel calm and relax your mind and your body stay strong everyone here has there own Mental health struggle s take care x

[@nikkimckay860]

After listening and watching this new podcast some of these questions made me feel sad and bad for them people who asked them questions this was a good podcast and so true what kati said in a question there is a lot of bad and evil people in the world and some good people in the world are hard to find I also agree about what kati said about covid changeing meany things and things being more difficult so on loved this podcast much love to you kati ❤

[@benttranberg2690]

I stumbled onto a video about Asperger's (so called high functioning autism) here on KZbin, and watched it, and a few more on the subject. That pretty much convinced me I had it, because "everything" described me. It might not have bothered me, except I could certainly need some help anyway, so why not start there. I was diagnosed at a center for autism. It took several weeks. Autism was thrown out the window very quickly. Instead it took I believe 10 appointments for my counselor and myself to figure out that I had AvPD, anxiety and PTSD. This as a result of a difficult childhood, serious harm and trauma from accidents, and work place stress like you wouldn't believe. In the last appointment I asked my counselor about autism. Her answers just confirmed my suspicion that there is strong disagreement about what autism is. People that really have autism don't make KZbin videos about it - is what I took away from that. I know I'm stepping on someone's toes now, and so be it. As for me, I got my answers. I made it clear from the very beginning that my intention wasn't at all to get an Asperger's diagnosis, but to find the truth. I'm a strong believer in the scientific method, because I want the truth. I believe I found it.

[@Roswell33]

Just realized I'm two years too late, oh well.. Autism criteria is based on neurotypical/Allistic observation of Autistic people and not Autistic peoples inner experience. Yes, the questionnaires ask about experience, but the actual criteria is not based on Autistic peoples input. This is why there is so much confusion about what it is. Along with other reasons, such as it being believed to be a male only brain type for most of history, and women (and many men's) abilities to 'mask' as Allistic. Women tend to present differently, as do people with AuDHD and CPTSD like myself. There are many many medical professionals who misdiagnose Autistic's before they go on to get their true diagnosis from someone who is up to date with the variety of ways in which Autism can present and on the inner Autistic experience. There are many Autistic - diagnosed - youtubers who's experience and knowledge is valuable. If that's not you that's fine, and it's great that you got your answers - that doesn't mean Autistic people don't make youtube video's about Autism though, they very much do. Also 'Asperger's' is not used anymore as Asperger was a Nazi affiliate, it is Autism Spectrum Disorder and 'levels.' Sounds like you are happy with the answers you got and if you don't relate to the Autistic side of the Autism AvPD Vendiagram then it seems your diagnosis was accurate. I am a therapist and believe in the scientific method also, I will note that the scientific method and DSM categories are forever changing as we learn more.

[@christina-tinarose5660]

My therapist has pointed out that I have a habit to change the subject and not pay attention. What does this mean? How can I not do this- I do realize it and she says it’s a defense.

[@everend_xyz]

I actually dig this matrix vibe a lot🧡 See the picture some cryogenic chamber, some hyped up plants, you enter the room to cry out to your Kati therapist, having a collection of a mood glasses for occasions on a glass table console 🕯️ 🕶️👓

[@lauren3634]

Your skin looks great with the blinds/light behind you! 😎

[@bill88694]

Hi Kati I really appreciate and enjoy listening to your informative podcasts, thank you for what you do for us! I find the different questions you answer are helpful in understanding where my anxious thoughts come from. Be it from my past experiences, feelings or upbringing. I have trouble writing my thoughts/feelings/experiences down on paper. I'm wondering if art therapy would work and if so can you talk about that in a podcast?

[@stever1693]

That’s cool that you live in the same city as Christina P. Hopefully you two are able to collaborate more in the future.

[@nataliehilton2661]

Awesome like always

[@ericbell5466]

For those who don’t know: the song she sings at the beginning they say deuce, not the other word

[@natalies3032]

For question 2. I have asd and was diagnosed as an adult and the whole "not struggling enough" thing was me four years ago. I was in denial about how much my asd affected me and how much i punished myself for things that arent my fault. Now i am in a stressful job and i really struggle. I wish i had gotten a diagnosis sooner. Now i struggle with anxiety, depression, ibs and self harm and i feel like an earlier diagnosis may have prevented or lessened that for me

[@hannalowercase5928]

i hope you're doing great! you got this

[@tobyfitzpatrick3914]

🎶 "Blinded by the light, revved up like a dufus by a woman of the night"🎵

[@anano1015]

Hey! Love the podcast! I don't really understand why we can't see therapists indoors with masks... A lot of therapists do that I think (at least mine). I would be less confortable at a coffee place without masks than in the office with it.

[@Vercanya]

Question nr 3 about swingers club reminded me of how my toxic ex used to coerce me into sexual acts I didn't feel comfortable about. My ex is a covert narcissist who is obsessed with sex (sexual narcissist), and I was just a tool for him to get what he wanted. I really hope this is not the case in her situation, but if it is, she needs to get out.

[@WrapUSkinny]

Hi Kati! I've been wanting to seek out a therapist for the past few years but for whatever reason I cant seem to follow through with actually making an appointment. I have insurance with a list of providers in my network but I get so overwhelmed by just trying to even decide who to go to. Then I scared of having to open up and share all my crap. (molested as a kid by multiple people at different stages of adolescence, which then translates into relationship stuff as an adult, etc etc etc and so much more). My mind races about all the things I need to work through and it seems like way too much and I give up before even getting started. Ive been depressed for the past 3 + yrs and just can't get passed it. How do I choose a therapist so I can start feeling better? Thanks for your podcasts, they are helping me feel like I'll be ok when I do eventually go.

[@Roswell33]

Hey, this is way into the future, but if you are still looking I'd suggest EMDR, it's WAY faster and great for trauma

[@elizabethwaldman16]

Swinging is NOT polyamory. Both Swinging and poly fall under the ENM or Ethical Non-Monogamy umbrella. Anyone practicing any type of ENm should absolutely understand that people tend to be hard wired and then on top of that, each relationship at different times is appropriate for one style or the other. All sex should, regardless of mono or poly, should at its basis start with consent. Full, enthusiastic, retractable at any time without issue CONSENT. If he is pushing at all past a no this is abuse. He can ask to better understand her needs and ask that she hear his so maybe together they can come up with a way they can both get their needs met but NO IS NO. She is under zero obligation to attend to make him happy. This is a result of our culture of patriarchy that she is even questioning herself.

[@aspidoscelis]

At 20:00 - Am I the only one who hears that and thinks: "Crap, now I'm judgmental, too. I'll add that to the list."

[@darlingm9967]

22:30 honestly because this person was uncomfortable, I feel like he coercing her, she may or may have not said no, or like I don’t know if I’m uncomfortable, I feel like he should’ve been able to see her discomfort, she was uncomfortable enough that even the other people he was swinging with saw it. Idk if he is bad at understanding body language, I know that some people struggle with that, but he doesn’t even seemed concerned enough to check up on his partner, and just by the way this person was talking, it seems they feel so pressured to join without fully realizing it.

[@caxzrockz]

How do you get over the feeling like you have wasted your life

[@jacobmckee8593]

She said oh stop alot when I got hurt

[@tamiwigginton7137]

❤❤❤❤

[@josephswafford7578]

💮

[@lucasarcadia9248]

38:38 what does that mean? I don’t want to get on the soap box for too long

[@sammydraws1991]

hello miss Kati, my name is Samantha and I need help to get out of autism and I’m becoming a woman now!!❤️

[@miki7899]

It's impossible to get a question on here, even with likes. But Kati is great with her answers for the questions that are asked.

[@nikkimckay860]

Mi Ki. Hello I'm nikki I follow kati s channel and video s .I like your comment and I completely agree with your comment and I can understand your frustration about not getting your question chosen and picked. for the podcast iv been haveing the same problem everytime I post a question in the community tab.nobody gives my questions any likes .or comments the most iv had before is 1 like on a question makes me frustrated and feels like my question isn't worth liking or leaveing a comment on .I know how you feel but I am always listening to the question s of other people and hearing kati give the answer s .perhaps keep trying to get your question though hopefully it will get chosen nice to meet you 🙂

[@miki7899]

You're so sweet Nikki, thank you for the positive outlook. I think theres a group of people that like each others questions. I dont see how more than 10 all had 31 likes and I think I had 10. It is frustrating but I still listen. Thank you again Nikki, you're very kind.

[@nikkimckay860]

@@miki7899 your very welcome and im glad I could be of some help and advice to you .I want to be a part of this Mental health community I like to meet new people and offer advice and comfort even to people I don't know . nice to of met you I'll say hello if I see your name next time. the getting your question liked and chosen sadly is a long waiting game in still waiting for my chance to get a question liked it's good you was able to get 10 likes sad though you still didn't get your question picked i have had no likes or 1 like everytime I asked a question I mostly just listen and watch kati s podcast now take care x

[@SpeedbirdNine9]

I.C.D 11 international Classification of Diseases DSM is North American I.C.D is everywhere else

[@jrr2045]

The background doesn't matter, but am I crazy for getting annoyed about the sound? The microphone sounds like it needs a pop filter. The p's are popping pretty loud 😁🔊

[@jacobmckee8593]

She changed the wi fi password.

[@anonymous3753]

Wow you are so beautiful

[@kayeandraye9986]

Why is California so expensive? Who controls that?

[@DarkArachnid666]

A buddy of mine told me that he was autistic and I informed him that just because he started taking beginner's painting classes didn't mean that he should walk around like a pompous a**hole and brag about his new skills while speaking with a fake British accent. :p By the way, my brother works with autistic children. He says it's very rewarding.

[@Touay.]

I gotta say, i cannot see how it is possible to be in a 'loving' polyamourous relationship. just not possible ... maybe one person is ok with it, but at least one person will be broken by it ... if there is "love" in that relationship. That swingers things just sounds like the husband is coercing the wife into accepting being raped.