Orbs And Swords: Trump's Weekend In Saudi Arabia

[@sooph1e]

"Iraq was the cradles of civilization and a land of natural beauty"--and thats why we set the whole place on fire.

[@SpecialAirService141]

To be fair, he wasnt the one to do that.

[@dlg5485]

Well he did say "was"

[@sooph1e]

Nanadaime Hokage You're only saying that because you want my free canadian universal healthcare ;)

[@SuperGamli]

Well you know...Al-Qaeda was in Afghanistan and Iraq is very close by, geography is hard. Anyways, its great to see the worlds biggest funder of terrorist get some more weapons and support from the US, as always.

[@firasbouhamdan9917]

He was talking about Iraq in the middle ages, that is long gone

[@user-qx9zn2cj4e]

the saudi king is not short, he is 6'1. trump is 6'3. the king is very old, so he slumps over and looks shorter.

[@simrenbajaj6000]

. Trump is old too, he’s 75

[@qurzxz]

Simren Bajaj the king is like😹91

[@cltcthuganomics2570]

Aurangzeb no plz love us 😭😭

[@hnys7976]

Is it me or Middle Eastern Rulers are tall. King and prince Salman are 6 ft. Qatar Emir is like 6 ft 4, Saddam 6'3 Gaddafi 6'0 and so on. Even the terrorist Osama Bin Laden was 6 foot 5, the guy was playing with the wrong rockets...

[@Lapele-fb9gj]

@@hnys7976 Most of the middle easts rulers whether presidents or dictators need to have graduated from a military school and have Learned islamic studies so they grow tall (through harsh training).

[@Jasonblade9012]

The Bannon joke is FIRE!

[@laithmanleo]

What does it mean?

[@operez1990]

Laith Radhy he was referring to Bannon's fellow Klansmen (KKK)

[@Ezero8]

SAVAGE.

[@MrIlleism]

Same could've been said about Trump to be fair lol.

[@umeshmessi1111111111]

KKKlassic Stephen Colbert ! XD

[@ra0000f]

long life SA 🇸🇦

[@christopherjustice6411]

Long live the enlightenment. No kings, no masters.

[@foxmulder7616]

You Chinese rhino eaters love S.A. huh want their oil do ya?

[@NewMessage]

Melania was watching the sword dance ritual and she totally had the look of someone who's seen Donny dance with something floppy in his hand before.

[@BdR76]

Donald Trump and Saudi leaders touching an *illuminated globe*? Someone send that clip to *Alex Jones* please!

[@pforgottonsoul]

there are some funny edits to that photo on twitter like putting sauron's eye in the globe.

[@BlaineTog]

+J G: To be fair, he'd be totally right. That substance is called "sugar."

[@booombballsax105]

alex jones is laying low because actual divorce lawyers are on his case to determine if he's wacko or not "I'm just an actor! I'm just an actor!" LOL conspiracy theorists are always the biggest liars, right?

[@luke666808g]

The sad thing is that Alex Jones actually used to have credibility, what happened to the Alex Jones who snuck into Bohemian Grove? That guy was fun.

[@Chunkboi]

BdR76 typical Trump, fondling another nation's balls.

[@starlycasablanca1062]

4:11 Steve Bannon's nightmare has come to life. He's stuck in a room with Muslims -- and no way to get out. DUN DUN DUNNNN. 😱

[@klarastern5597]

:D

[@zimbazone]

He looks genuinely scared!

[@منيرالنمر-ث3م]

lol

[@starlycasablanca1062]

Arjun Jp He really does. That's the beauty of it all. We could really turn that clip into a gif and then a meme on Twitter.

[@emyf9197]

Starly Casablanca that look on his face😂😂 I cant I just cant😂

[@aidenquinn19975]

In Bush's words: "that was some weird shit"

[@jacksonreid4824]

Fool me once...

[@andersonkern2967]

Terra Titanius trespalavt

[@jacksonreid4824]

There's an old saying in Tennessee I know it's in Texas probably in Tennessee that goes... Fool me once, shame on... Shame on... Shame on you..? Fool me once, can't get fooled again!

[@channelfive7883]

Bush is a weird shit

[@alimarzooq1395]

The Arabic sign actually read, DANGER! Armored vehicles pass through, and dusty conditions ahead (actually it says dust in the air if we're being literal)

[@Incog2k6]

Holy shit, Bannon really DOES look scared to death. It's as if he was surrounded by demons and just saw Lucifer himself. He almost suffered a heart attack, LMAO.

[@djn48]

It's probably the first time in his life where he has been the racial minority in the room...

[@mwt2332]

@@djn48 lmaooooo

[@barryallen4975]

one of her husband's wwe belts 😂😂😂 dead

[@quentinle4892]

RIP barry allen

[@syedahmedjilanee6041]

barry allen hahaha

[@Ou8y2k2]

Malaria should be hoff limits. Stephen shouldn't defang her. /s

[@roberttrail7013]

Steven stole that line from me. I also said instead of a head scarf, Melania wore the tradition American gaudy gold wide belt circa 1970. Do the Hustle!!

[@VidelxSpopovich]

He's not actually dead, he just got trapped in the speed force.

[@Langkowski]

Five years later, and Colbert is still just as obsessed with Trump.

[@kitspics526]

A comedian goes to where the hilarity is in full view. Former guy is a clown of the first order.

[@christinej.4404]

Ok, this is enuf, I can't stop laughing

[@ashmitanandy]

Enough depressing shit out there. Let's all focus on some of the pretty things now, i.e. Stephen's cute little curtsy. ❤

[@luqcrusher]

2:42

[@whatthehell9502]

Ashmita Nandy so freaking cute LOL...Limbo Limbo how low can you go LOL

[@josiaserad6574]

Ashmita Nandy youre pretty

[@Imwhicho]

Yus. His curtsy was adorable. :D

[@benjaminriter9639]

Ashmita Nandy, u r so right!

[@Jasonblade9012]

Hypocrites conservatives were raging because Obama bowed to the Emperor of Japan. Now crickets regarding Trump KNEELING to the Saudi king..... I still cannot hear you trumplings..... louder please!

[@timelessd9096]

*We won, you lost; suck it up, you losers!*

[@kyneticist]

What exactly have you won? trump & co have made out like bandits, obviously but what on Earth do you think anybody else has won?

[@seinnajune348]

Timeless D I hope you're trolling or just being a typical Trumptard

[@ageofatheism6638]

You won a year's worth of shameful leadership,congratulations !

[@audreyh6628]

'We won, you lost' Classic bait and switch response from a Bannonite. There's a reason none of you can ever answer a straight question - that would involve owning up to your mindblowing hypocrisy

[@BatmanHQYT]

That Bannon joke was one of the best lmao

[@Evansater16]

That Steve Bannon thing was fucking jokes.

[@rezblade1565]

He didn't wear a scarf but that thing on his head qualifies as a scarf?

[@waterandafter]

Rezblade more like a fur

[@Turandot29]

Of all the excellent Trump humor from the various late nite TV hosts, I vow that Stephen Colbert's is the best by far.

[@jayhollows5729]

Is the Saudi king going to make Trump his Saudi princess with that cute little curtsey?

[@AviatorZoroark]

Grand Wizard what

[@justadude3458]

Grand Wizard You're one to speak.

[@youraverageimperialguard7932]

Grand Wizard You aren't very nice are you?

[@meshmosh4090]

Saudi Arabia the best country ever

[@s.bakyhnh1756]

Trump's hypocrisy is physically painful.

[@r.stevenkruse3893]

He doesn't have the brains for hypocrisy. He probably can't even spell it.

[@lunalarosa4845]

Speaking of vetting, there needs to be some kind of screening process for all future presidential candidates to avoid this type of current clusterfuck we're seeing now. The same way it's done for the military and all sensitive federal positions. As far as it's publicly known, Trump was never vetted, not even for the lowest security classification.

[@lunalarosa4845]

Totally agree. No fast food chain would hire a branch manager without experience in the business... but America seems OK with it?

[@spammyhell6566]

+Luna LaRosa -- Yes! at the very least candidates for president should get a security clearance (maybe a lower level for primaries, a higher level for the final candidates), and should be able to pass a citizenship test. (Low bar there on the civics, but even so it would have spared us this disaster.) Further, a psych eval by a panel wouldn't hurt, but that would probably end up a tough sell, since it's somewhat subjective, but really, if there is malignant mental illness (not mood/affective conditions, but actual pathology), that should be a disqualifier. It doesn't have to be announced publicly why, but the panel should deliver a yea or nay, and we go from there. Additionally, we need to codify all those things that have up until now been done by custom and ethical conventions. Divestiture needs to be compulsory, as well as full financial disclosure. There already is a nepotism law, it just needs to be strengthened/applied more stringently. Presidential travel needs to be better controlled, as this admin has shown so clearly. Number of residences needs to be addressed. There are so many thing that have just never been done on an honor system, but, sadly, we can't depend on honor any more.

[@bupkis2714]

Luna LaRosa I think there are better ways to improve the way we choose Presidents. Perhaps changing the First-Past-The-Post system, that way we wouldn't be in a situation of having an unqualified person winning an election in the first place.

[@lunalarosa4845]

The orange blob shifted the national paradigm. *Sad*

[@squirrelgray945]

"These aren't the men in white robes you are used to." So good. If the multiverse theory is true, welcome to the super fucked up one.

[@ALynnL07]

To think though, it could be worse.

[@AnnBiscuit]

Somehow Melanie grew on me, she trolls Trump more than any of us lol

[@cheryltariq]

You are absolutely fabulous, Stephen Colbert.....

[@starlycasablanca1062]

"Enuf" ...are you serious? 🙄

[@JaBarge303]

If only the president had more than 140 characters to communicate...

[@naomixx5629]

Honestly why does he even have to tweet the most inconsequential tweets ? It honestly fucking stupid .

[@tinkerheck3284]

+Naomi Xx I've always wondered why he tweets at all. Seems to me like his job would be far too demanding to have time for such nonsense. Oh, wait...

[@GambianBankai]

" we have enuf enemies" lol

[@thisfishiscoolashell]

Modou Bajaha Probably twitter character limit

[@abram730]

It was 44 characters under the limit. He thinks "enuf" is how you spell it.

[@jjc5475]

enuf is enuf

[@Pro_Butcher_Amateur_Human]

We have egg enemies? Is he announcing that he is taking on Sonic the Hedgehog as an advisor, and will help him fight Dr Egghead? Or...is Trump gonna push an egg off a wall, just to see if all the King's Horses can fix it? Or...I have dozens of these. I'm not doing all of them.

[@AceofDlamonds]

"The orb of confusion...ueeegggghhhh"

[@rosianaeo9380]

110 billions! No wonder America always portray Iran as a huge threat on middle east.. Marketing strategy based on fears.. 😒

[@otaibi4ever91]

Ervira Rosiana I don't blame Americans for not knowing the details of the middle East,, but Iran caused extreme chaos in each and every country, in Kuwait arms and tons of explosives found in a secret basement owned by Iran backed groups In Bahrain the same thing , currently in Saudi Arabia , Iran is funding terrorists in western province and in Yemen Houthi Militias, Not to mention Militias in Iraq and Syria and Hezbollah If they were a country causing this much of damage in europe, a world war might of started years ago

[@ruirodtube]

We've had enuf of this President!

[@NA-tu7nt]

They are going to summon Sauron with that damn ball.

[@ShKhabe6]

Long life saudi arabia 🇸🇦

[@Abdullah-kp3ib]

you can joke as much as you can, but remember there is red lines you can't across especially religious.

[@JULiEBEWi]

I agree 🇸🇦

[@cousinsishere3411]

Abdullah Saad A Alsayari exactly

[@SandroMairata]

That Bannon joke has been inducted into the Hall of Fame, effective immediately.

[@vincentvoight7393]

"these arent the white robes you are looking for."

[@101perspective]

OMG, did Ross just hint that it would be great if we were more like Saudi Arabia when it comes to handling protestors?

[@apurvanataraj5547]

The tambourines (or whatever they are) coming up at 3:59 was spectacular.

[@kaiapparent2653]

the timing was immaculate

[@vxvx2010]

am Saudi and it was so hilarious i laughed so hard ahhh we love how you americans always take every thing in a funny way

[@thecartel7420]

@@MATRIX_7 صفقة الذل وليس الأسلحة

[@alih1722]

@@MATRIX_7 يعمي صاحبكم خذ فلوسه وطفر

[@Jkhglv]

دامك ضحتك وفهمتي ما استوعبتي انو قاعد يهين بلدك وكمان الملك والشعب سدق مدري اش اقول طالعي الفيد ثاني واسمعي

[@Blanco8x8]

"No protesters" is not always a good thing. In fact, it should be alarming.

[@Jasonblade9012]

Of course Gargamel was there he had to write the speech Trump gave to the Saudis

[@MichaelAronson]

Trump supporters must be so glad we're arming the Saudis.

[@ArturBriones]

I love that he's mindful of his invisible objects at all times, someone pointed it out in a previous video and I've been keeping an eye on it. He hands the medal and the orb to someone off camera, all his imaginary swords end up in a scabbard and last time he was changing a glass of water from one hand to another for 10 minutes until he put it down on the table

[@Smuelaham]

And when he puts things off to one or the other side Jon plays either a high or low key.

[@DeesonJame]

I can't tell what are jokes and what are real anymore.

[@ellamarsters8791]

“I’m not here to cause no trouble, I’m just here to do the Middle East shuffle.” 🤣

[@peka2478]

There is a word in German, "Fremdschämen", for feeling embarassed on behalf of somebody else. If you did not have this concept in your language until now, you better invent it pretty darn fast!

[@SeralthSparro]

Thats not how concepts work. You have concepts like this in culture having a singular word for it doesn't matter.

[@natalied779]

We just call it secondhand embarrassment.

[@vampyricon7026]

Diego Morales schadenfreude comes to mind

[@PerlasNegrasXII]

Pe Ka cringe the word you are looking for is cringe.

[@benedictschurwanz987]

"Wouldn't it be nice to live in a totalitarian state? No protesters, orbs, it's fun." -Trump

[@sameryounis909]

Been refreshing my youtube feed waiting for this lol ✌🏻

[@ChristianLieb]

How could anybody look normal as POTUS doing this strange sword dance... Bannon joke and the glowing orb - gold.

[@randsaad8266]

I am Saudi and this the first time I’ve ever laughed at American humor :)

[@zoooran07]

فالح ي روح امك

[@entertain7us148]

"Here's Steve Bannon realising these aren't the kind of men in white robes he's used to." I know this bar is set crazy high, especially for Colbert, but DAMN that might just be the slickest burn I've heard all year.

[@robinsinpost]

"Defense purchase" Ask the civilans in Yemen.They might not agree with that term.

[@dragonchiId]

Steve, you don't know what that glowing orb was?? How can you call yourself a Tolkien fan and not recognize a Palantir when it's shining right under Trumpy's face? For shame!

[@Mowanonym]

For the speech he googled each country and read the wiki.

[@thealchemist851]

A Salute for you Steven from Kuwait; you nailed these guys! :D

[@abdulazizt6299]

Jarrah Al-Tubaikh الله يرحم صدام بس

[@hashemksu]

If it wasn't for Saudi, there would be no Kuwait today. Saddam raped your country and you guys didn't stand a chance. Be grateful.

[@thealchemist851]

I don't like to go into such nonsense word fight; but if you want the facts, it was the US who liberated us in the first place, with the help of other countries not just Saudi Arabia alone .. one ... Two, being grateful for Saudi Arabia doesn't mean to say Ok for ALL its policies for the years after. this is only seen in the Arabic mentality that wants you to be grateful for Life for anything they do for! Only God should have this form of loyalty .. Not countries or political regimes

[@hashemksu]

I'm sorry for what I said and I take it back. I over reacted

[@thealchemist851]

No need to apologize Bro. We as citizens should see clearly without being obliged to our governments if they did something wrong or against common sense; this is what real freemen do. Salute to you from Kuwait :)

[@VIP.A]

proud to be Saudi. i am educated, handsome and rich, and i can do whatever i wanna do. ✌💚

[@dharini09]

3:46 "...They'll let you meet the genie, it's gonna be fun." Did he say what I think he said?

[@Mysticmoon62]

Yes it is... xD

[@moondustmix1682]

Is it just me, or does Steve brannon actually look a lot like Rosie O'Donnell??

[@KeroKohai]

Maurice Andrews No need to be mean to Rosie O'Donnel.

[@pinchasreich7773]

their both scotch-irish

[@jasonpereira7066]

+Pinchas Reich I'm Scot/ Irish and I look nothing like them.....

[@ericragnar3069]

Jason Pereira don't lie, y'all are pie faced

[@Rozilla]

More like the *corpse* of Rosie O'Donnell

[@AmaraJordanMusic]

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Stephen always returning the improv sword back into it a fictional scabbard? Gotta love follow through in improv. Just sayin.

[@thedashboard9562]

Steve Bannon looked terrified! LMAO!!!!

[@shannonwebb3602]

I happen to agree with Melania for not wearing a headscarf in Saudi. It makes a subtle statement, that not all women are subjects to their husbands or the male population. Now, the Saudis may have been offended by this statement, but the USA does not insist foreign leaders adhere to any personal attire. In fact, when they got to their limo, she should have told the driver to "move over, I'm driving". LOL, that would have been hilarious.

[@REBELLOGIC]

poor melania lol i feel like she's just waiting for the right moment to leave his ass

[@KevinRed420]

When I saw them laying hands on the orb, for some reason I just thought : "Make my minion grow!"

[@richarddarlington1139]

Santa Clause is jealous of that belt! "Cuz i's even bigger that his.

[@livia-cy2zo]

I love Stephen Colbert..."the crypt keeper's fun brother." LMAO

[@suavethegod]

If it was bugging anyone else, the little piano riff that Jon Batiste keeps playing is from Duke Ellington & John Coltrane's "In a Sentimental Mood"

[@waywardmind]

Of all people, Stephen Colbert didn't have a palantir quip?! I've lost all faith.

[@callslightning]

With Saruman, he kinda did.

[@arthurneddysmith]

It's crazy! I went to the killing fields of Cambodia and didn't see a single civilian protesting against the state, just thousands of soldiers armed with automatic weapons. What are the odds?

[@Determined..]

Saudi Arabia is about to reach a 1 Trillion dollars GDP And you keep Blabbing here mate.

[@HeliRy]

Spent a couple days in Saudi last week on a business trip... what a circus that country is. It's like going back in time to the 1600's, but with cars and cell phones.

[@ticnatz]

I so wish somebody would ask Wilbur Ross what his theory is one WHY there were no hints of protest. Seems like he kinda admired that. Wonder if he would be in favor of importing that same philosophy to America? Bet he would. Most of Trump's team seem to admire draconian restrictions on free speech.....

[@TheElmagnifico20]

If anyone is wondering what's written in Arabic at 1:15, it says "Caution! tanks maybe crossing the road and dust is in the air"

[@tiklemontetikleddesa]

Colbert is a genius.

[@golddee2040]

Those were by far the best jokes he's ever done. Wow!

[@Yanquetino]

You don't know what they're doing around the shining orb? Tsk. They're trying to make a horcrux! Unfortunately, they found TrumpleThinSkin doesn't have a soul to split apart.

[@ciangunarr]

I love how the Moroçccan representative is just enjoying his phone conversation Hahaha

[@kylewheeler7780]

When US fake royalty meets actual royalty

[@tarrantcountykid]

Nothing like fascism to make a narcissist feel at home

[@joeylaird77]

What the hell has happened to America? ☹️

[@jillianhauschild3484]

I'm crying in Lancashire and this is making me feel better god bless Stephen Colbert

[@rileymerino6340]

Jon Batiste hitting everybody with "In a Sentimental Mood" for just like three seconds at the beginning! I love how sneaky that man is with his songs.

[@lornaginetteharrison414]

I'm assuming while Trump's away, most Americans are partying like there's no tomorrow (unfortunately, a distinct possibility!). However the joy of his absence is probably tempered by his embarrassing antics 'on tour', as he curtsies his way across the Middle East.

[@elizabethmontoya-laporte160]

Stevens eyes are so pure when he says "extreme vetting"!

[@couragekarnga8735]

Ha! Colbert is the best! Thank you Stephen Colbert, you keep us all sane!

[@Randomuser9557]

The sex offender shuffle joke killed me.

[@ILE4LIFE1]

You keep gettin funnier and funnier man

[@AnabethalightASMR]

This is my FAVORITE Stephen Colbert episode of the year!!!!!

[@nab.7250]

I laughed so hard 😂, - love from Saudi Arabia

[@Phi1618033]

Beheading protesters? Please don't give Trump any ideas.

[@quit.8900]

There is so much hate in the comments but I don’t care I watched this video over a million times I love this video before you even reply to this I’m arab I’m Muslim I’m from Saudi Arabia.

[@azurebalmung4520]

I'm just stuck on that line in the Newsweek article of "So, what it's like to be beheaded there?" and my thought was "Same as anywhere else - damned unpleasant. At best." xD

[@kennethodonnell2068]

To be fair on the Bannon joke, Stephen could have been talking about charlie brown on halloween. LOL!

[@kenneyk24]

Late night comedy about Trump has made me fall in love with my country again!!😆

[@Cheese-is-its-own-food-group]

No protestors in Saudi Arabia.....bahahahahahaha!

[@chatter4500]

I want Jon Batiste to play "In a Sentimental Mood" in its entirety. What a tease.

[@victoriakhan01]

I love the "it's raining men" part cause when I went there, that's EXACTLY what I thought... lol a sea of MEN!!!

[@chi2om]

that kkk joke was funny AF

[@hilde2097]

Ironic he should refer to the "sex offender shuffle"

[@alexvicaire142]

Hilde Spierenburg why is it ironic

[@5.season808]

The statement on that yellow billboard is ( attention please! Tanks are crossing the road and the air is dusty ) 😂😂😂😂

[@salmanimranshareef]

Aalia Selfi it means 4 wheeled bikes crossing the road, people like riding quad bikes for fun in saudi arabia.

[@starlycasablanca1062]

If you want to know what Trump will do next, simply look at Trump's tweet from the past. He'll do the exact opposite of his own opinion and be a hypocrite. It shall give you a glimpse of the future Trump.