I’m An AUTISTIC Alien - Life As An Autistic Person In A Neurotypical World

[@cynthiamartinez4193]

As an autistic person, I hate when neurotypical people tell me that I need to step out of my comfort zone or that I need to learn to compromise or try new things. Every aspect of living is outside of my comfort zone. I am open to trying new things all the time, just not all the things that most people like to do. there’s so much of ourselves we tuck away or give up just so that neurotypicals can feel comfortable around us, and they never care or notice how miserable we are to do it. It’s always, “You need to try harder”.

[@Earth_sign2722]

The worst feedback I’ve ever gotten from a boss is, you should have more confidence 😂like ok let me just get one order please

[@matthewbalch]

I've always felt like it didn't make sense that I was on this planet. Thanks for the video!

[@PlanetEarthLifeSkills]

Great talk! I lived 50 years before discovering that I am autistic. Most of those 50 years - one half of a century! - I truly believed that I was an alien. The only thing that caused me to doubt that was my dad. Born in Germany in 1937, he had no knowledge of what was then Asperger's, or what we now call ASD. He just knew who I was and saw that I wasn't like other kids. He saw the difficulty I had trying to communicate with people I considered handicapped, or overly emotional to the point that logic was not in their toolbox. At three years old I told him that "mommy isn't very smart." In grade 1 I was dissaplined for helping other kids who were struggling with very simple math concepts. I was told to be quiet. Stop talking. Do not talk at all! When I complied my mother was called to the school and she was told I was refusing to talk. I wanted to just escape. Hop in a spaceship and leave this planet. I stood before my classmates, while both women berated me. When I decided that I could not stand it anymore, at five years old I walked out the door quietly closing it behind me, and walked home. My mother caught up with me and continued her barrage of insults and condemnations. I did not talk for three days, until my dad came home. He sat quietly with me, after my mother described her plight and my insolent disobedience, and he took me out to his workshop. He offered to listen if I wanted to talk about it. After a while he just started puttering, and I set to my usual task of sorting screws and washers and bolts. Eventually I just began to talk. I described the situation from my perspective. When I paused, he wouldn't say anything, but nodded and made listening sounds so I knew he was listening to me. When I was finally done I remember him saying something confirming, but I was just basking in the feeling of finally being heard. It was such a relief. I remember feeling ashamed when I returned to school. Numb, distant, and alien. I believe that was the beginning of my masking. Being good, and quiet and not participating. I was there, but not there. The grade one schoolwork was very primary, and it hurt my head to stay awake with the lathargic pace. Eventually it was agreed that when I finished my work I could go to the school library, so that I wouldn't distract the other students. By the end of grade 4 I had read every book in the library. Starting grade 5, a case of new books would arrive every Tuesday from the Senior Public School in the next town. Reading became my escape pod and my portal for studying earthlings. I have to say I did get better at dealing with them. It still hurts my head, but I crave friendship. They eventually wear out and dissapear. I volunteer, to feel I belong, but inevitably, I would have what I know know to be a meltdown, and my response always seems to overshadow whatever situation brought it about. Shame of the situation stops me from going back. In the thirty 6ears I've lived in my village, I've waited up to ten years to get back involved in socializing, groups or community events. The good news is that most people eventually move away, and those that don't witness my continued effort to belong and have for the most part come to just accept that Mandy is like that.

[@JimRover]

Hey PELS, I too went through the sh@tshow first week - early years of school - so excited to learn until I wasn't, it seems severe punishment - humiliating the 'helpers' in front of the class for being 'your self' was certainly an institutionalized method of control. Parents also 1930's era children, a tech-brilliant, neurodivergent father who realized 'that show' accepted me wholly into the workshop safety zone. Hope you can find solace in your shop, I cherish and hold tightly the hand tools and the lessons from my pa's workshop and try every day to pay it forward.

[@adrianmargean3402]

I have found your channel today and ,yeah, I agree, every day of my life I feel like I must of come from a different planet.

[@Daniel-vl8mx]

We have little choice but to live among the humans, and to try to learn their ways so that they will not shun us. That, sadly, is the reality.

[@Nekotaku_TV]

I refuse no matter the sacrifice.

[@ElaineWalker]

Luckily for everyone, I’ve started documenting, word for word (unfortunately I remember every word), super awkward conversations and encounters I have with people… plumber, insurance agent, grocery cashier, other parent.. I will hopefully figure out how to act them out and present them on KZbin, so as to help other autistics feel better about themselves and find the humor in their own life. It’s NEVER FUNNY when it happens or for a day or two after, but writing it all down and reviewing it with my daughter and husband really gives us a good laugh sometimes. 😅

[@srldwg]

@@ElaineWalker I love your sense of humor! I laugh about myself all the time!😅🤣😂

[@Alan-mi1lp]

Thanks so much for this video, I feel a little less alone. I'm going to show this to some people in a hope they can understand me a little bit better. It seems strange to me that Autistic people are often referred to as being on a spectrum but I think Neurotypical people are on a much broader spectrum.

[@camillenelson8909]

Yes, because when we explain they don't understand, but if a KZbin guy says it, then they listen. Good resource

[@dominichadley2712]

I’ve barely started watching this video and feel I need to comment straight away, I grew up feeling like an Alien and decided to embrace my differences through role modelling after my favourite Characters in Science Fiction, it helped me through childhood and even in adolescence, I already know I’m gonna relate in so many ways 🤣😁

[@vyr-mk1dz]

Since birth i had always this feeling, living on a strange world with too much gravity and difficult to navigate around

[@nkleeman07]

Undiagnosed we are mac hardware running windows, and until we install the diagnosis(mac os) we struggle in life. Crash all the time, random shutdowns, slower, lol.

[@ElaineWalker]

Yep. I feel like an alien. I do sometimes feel like autistics are highly advanced beings, and that someday most everyone will be wired this way. We just don't function fully the way the world is set up with all its expectations, etc.

[@adrianmargean3402]

Don't think so. In evolution, the best genes aren't necessarily the ones that you would think, but generally the ones that help with survival. I think autism does not help with survival but it actually hinders it.

[@ElaineWalker]

@@adrianmargean3402Physics, engineering, inventing, hyper creativity.. these seem like traits that the human race needs for long term survival (not that all of those people are autistic, but you get my drift.) Mozart and Einstein and Elon Musk seem pretty futuristic to me. (I don't mean to list only geniuses potentially on the spectrum, but again, just trying to make a point.) 😄

[@adrianmargean3402]

@@ElaineWalker as much as I want to agree with you, I think they are more the exception rather than the rule. I don't feel very advanced or inteligent, I just feel weird and socially awkward.

[@martinpospisil3747]

Actually you are wrong ADHD for example is the remaining of hunter and gatherer lifestyle. Look it u.

[@ElaineWalker]

@@martinpospisil3747 I thought we were talking about autism, not ADHD. Sorry, not sure what you were getting at.

[@deesparklebazinga9374]

Hey I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD last year (2021) at age 38 and had no idea that I'm a good actor in terms of masking! I always thought I would be terrible at acting but people seem to be confused when I mention my diagnosis! Mind the acting/masking still didn't help me make and keep a true friend.

[@Ponk_80]

The whole world is so alien to me, and I’m so not connected with it, that it feels like I’m watching the whole thing from behind a screen in a tiny isolated room.

[@Jerri_Jo]

I say that in my head every time, can you sneak past? No, not anymore you can't. I always thought it was just my humor.

[@brickellvoss7739]

I love that line, If I don't mask, why should I? You don't for me. Gold right there.

[@Zunnerchia]

Normally I avoid clicking on videos with thumbnails like this (experience) but the title intrigued me so I gave it a chance, I was pleasantly surprised. This video is actually good. I definitely am an alien, too (or more accurately, I'm a visitor to an alien planet in a permanent state of culture shock). I'm a non-native English speaker, so that adds something extra to the mix. I remember wondering why I didn't feel any culture shock when studying abroad here or moving back here, and I realized I was, I just didn't know it because it's just like my normal everyday experience.

[@camillenelson8909]

I returned to the USA state I (mostly) grew up in, and I thought "Finally! A place I'll fit in and be accepted!" Hah! As if. *I* was an alien with my own people. I had to ask my now husband, "Why do people say this when they mean that? How is anyone supposed to understand?" We married and now I have a Translator. :oD Thanks Orion!!! (P.s. Orion was always my favorite constellation!)

[@dorksplorer]

I've been called an alien so many times throughout my life it's ridiculous. I discovered I am neurodiverse (I like this term better because....best example, when I told my mom, her response was, "there's nothing wrong with you!" Followed by "don't tell them you're autistic. They might think you're crazy.") at 50. It was a relief! I finally figured out the biggest mystery of my life - why was I so different than everyone else? ....... my brain is wired differently? Awesome! It explains so much, looking back. ( But I am grateful that I experienced life undiagnosed, because of the stigma attached to the diagnosis). I finally feel free to embrace my weirdness (individuality). The feeling of freedom is such a gift. I'm glad the algorithm dropped this video for me. Just knowing there are others with similar experiences is comforting. 🕊️

[@srldwg]

Your comment is comforting ☺.

[@dorksplorer]

@@srldwg thank you 😊

[@PlanetEarthLifeSkills]

Welcome! Thank you for sharing your life experience. It sounds very similar to mine. I had in parent who figured early on that I was unique and rolled with it, supporting me in a many ways, and a very difficult other parent. Most of my family is the same - you are not so special. There's nothing wrong with you. You are just lazy. Overperforming or masking did not manage to gain the acceptance I craved, and it just never came. So, I pulled out my roots and moved two mountain ranges and a huge prairie away from her and then! Both of my now adult sons are on the spectrum, as is my three year old granddaughter who lives with me. We are a strange and special bunch, and I'm finding friends that can handle my alien-like uniqueness!

[@coal.sparks]

I was admiring your vest! I didn't mean to stare at it! It's just cool! I want more clothes with fun embroidered patterns on them!

[@sorad5791]

The "sneak past" thing was so funny.. I am tickled by the wierd things people say, and if I ever use the phrases, it's always with a humorous tone because it's silly to me.

[@lisawanderess]

Hello fellow Aussie alien! 👽 Totally relate to everything you say! So stoked to have found your channel!

[@orionkelly]

I’m so grateful to hear that. Thanks so much.

[@iourichadrine7846]

Love your videos. They have just the right amount of humor, wit, and information.

[@orionkelly]

Thanks so much. I’m so grateful to hear that you enjoy my videos.

[@jackd.rifter3299]

I still have a difficult time with giving too much information or being too vague.

[@carolinefiorentini3233]

The running joke about the vest is very good !

[@mariednathaliequirion2774]

Great video 📽 and I really love your vest 💙

[@deefernandez9476]

OMG…..YOU ARE WONDERFUL TO LISTEN TOO……I’ve learned a lot listening to your videos…..I have a brother, a nephew, and my grandson…..who are absolutely on the spectrum….and my grandson is very high on the spectrum…..I believe that I also might be on the spectrum……and I have learned to mask so well that others don’t see it…..however I’m so glad I found you and your channel…….thank you for being you…….😃

[@andrewwoodhead816]

Cool vid, interesting perspective! I think in trying to describe autistic masking I would extend your Mac/PC analogy: autistic masking is like using a PC emulator on your Mac. To use your words "Why would you?"

[@orionkelly]

Brilliant. Nailed it. Thanks so much for watching and commenting.

[@cory99998]

Sometimes for me I'm suppressing what I want to say or what I'd rather talk about, but really most of masking for me is pretending to be interested in conversations I dont care about or putting on a face / personality that matches the energy of the environment so that people dont think I'm depressed when really I'm probably just a bit burnt out. Visiting family is brutal because I know that if I be myself, it means I look bored and not interested in anything when thats really not the message I'm trying to send. Being myself and being understood just isn't fully possible so the mask is a realistic form of communication with loved ones sometimes. I guess I also suppress the desire to feel relaxed when socializing, when all I really want to do is lean back and not partake much but I need to sit upright and have decent posture and all of that. That sort of thing can make people uncomfortable, for example when hanging out with people you're meeting for the first time where formalities are more expected.

[@tracynottage356]

You and me both Orion, I know exactly what you mean 😊

[@t-man5196]

Wholesome comment 😮

[@Kali_Yugahhhh]

Tooooooo funny my friend tooooooo funny god bless ya brother 🤙

[@DeLaSoul246]

Lol I love this video, relate to it all, and also love the scrolling commentary on screen 😂

[@jeanlittle405]

Excellent video. The "masking" section was perfect!

[@elizabeth50552]

Is this why you’re called Orion? :) well I am from Arcturus 😊 I definitely feel I am not from this planet. Not diagnosed with autism or adhd but I do feel I have traits from both and I want to get an official diagnosis but my therapist already told me I would probably just waste money…

[@mirin9851]

I'd suggest you get a new therapist, or ignore the advice and go get tested, if only for your own piece of mind. By the way, I'm from Sirius myself :)

[@elizabeth50552]

@@mirin9851 hey, starseed buddy!☺️🤗✨

[@chainbreaker]

I'm here like "oh.... so that thing i do is not normal.... well, that explains a lot" xD

[@turtleanton6539]

Hahahaa. Aaaah yes😊

[@Reticulan1]

Just one thing to add. Masking, in its worst forms isn't conscious.

[@bammc7637]

I dont feel like im from another planet, i feel like im actually originally from here and everyone else are alien invaders that have colonized my planet.

[@ElaineWalker]

That's such a great way to frame it.

[@Nekotaku_TV]

Love your west. And yes I very much feel like an alien on a planet I'm not from. I really like the word allistic (meaning non-autistic), I wish it was used more. I cannot and will not mask, I'm always myself. But I'm holding back a lot, that is making me suffer. I understand that people feel the need to do it, but I wish there was more people who wouldn't so we could actually change the world to fit us better, but again it comes with sacrifice.

[@davidlobaugh4490]

Sharp vest mate 👌

[@MsLisa551]

You're awesome!

[@MaryKDayPetrano]

This was a great video ~!

[@anjachan]

I always felt like a alien ... even with people similar to me.

[@annajanczuk]

I am autistic and ADHD. I don’t get why youtubers with personal experience of being neurodiverse don’t consider sensory issues????? How can I focus on what you say if there is disruptive music in the background??? You are the one who should understand how difficult and frustrating it is. So, why???

[@orionkelly]

Thanks Anna for watching and commenting, I appreciate it. I actually picked this up early into my KZbin channel and stopped using background music. Unfortunately due to my lack of experience I am unable to remove the music from the early videos due to not having the raw footage. As an Autistic person who works in media I’ve always used music beds and have never found them disruptive. As every Autistic person is different it will always be impossible to fully cater for all needs, but I appreciate your feedback and understanding.

[@susanbeever5708]

Yep.

[@robertk9753]

Makes perfect sense to me.

[@jermainedonaldson6871]

God created and made everyone BEAUTIFULLY and WONDERFULLY made. ✝️

[@PlanetEarthLifeSkills]

Hey, would you maybe consider turning off or turning down the background music? I find it distracting and I so much want to be able to focus on what you are saying. 😁

[@orionkelly]

💯 it’s only on older videos. Thanks for hanging in there.

[@bluediamond105]

Im an evangelical christian all my life, I thought I was odd because of my believes,but after a week of finding out that im autistic looking back i can see that even in church im an alien,and yes rejection hurts.

[@JacobMoen]

That glorious vest just made me subscribe :) Hello from a fellow alien from Denmark. You are brave (and a bit ranty/rambly, but that's typical autistic, isn't it?)

[@orionkelly]

Well thank goodness for the vest! Thanks so much for watching and subscribing, I appreciate it. Yep ranting is my thing.

[@JacobMoen]

@@orionkelly Keep doing what you do; the world desperately need more autistic voices :)

[@orionkelly]

Jacob Moen thanks so much. I really appreciate it.

[@saraadams1391]

😂

[@turtleanton6539]

😅😅😅😅😅