Orlando Five-O [Part 3]

Jack avoids being completely unlikeable and his character arc finally starts to reach a turning point in today's episode. Haha nah, just kidding, we can't stand him.

[@kingofthemoon3063]

The Chinese man doesn't actually look or sound like that. That's just how Jack Orlando sees and hears him.

[@StandardGoose]

King of the Moon Like Vladimir Nabokov's 'Lolita' we're seeing his version of the story, sanitised by him. We can never know just how horrible a person he really is.

[@poodypooroo]

A little late, but I bet Jack had that entire conversation with himself. There was never a Chinese man. Jack was just turning around and pulling on the sides of his face.

[@user-os7ec4dm8x]

I velly solly but I t'nk yoo mistaken!

[@kingofthemoon3063]

Police: "You're under arrest, Jack Orlando!" Jack: "You'll never take me alive." Jack disappears into his coat pocket, where the police can never catch him.

[@nickfarmer2452]

Finds Gorrister's wife and mother-in-law already there.

[@killran06]

Love how every time the action menu is brought up the cursor defaults to the gun. Like Jack's having to mentally force himself not to go an a shooting spree in every place he visits!

[@crazyluigi6664]

Hey, if I were him, I'd probably be the same myself........ Help.

[@nekonomicon9938]

It's so tempting to click it too. It's like Jack's mental state is having a direct effect on the player

[@vulcan6460]

Just imagine how many players shot a guy by accident when they were just trying to talk to him. ...Which shouldn't be many, considering nobody's heard of this game before, but still...

[@myuphrid]

Turns out he's Jack Slate's grandfather - that's where he gets his "sees everyone as a target" trait from.

[@MrJedroi258]

That's because there are quite a lot of quick time events that require using gun fast

[@SuperfluousMoniker]

This game is like playing a Fallout character with 1 charisma and 4 intelligence.

[@TheStrongBadMan]

Holy shit. I was sweating bullets every time Jack walked by the chinese laundry, AND FOR GOOD REASON APPARENTLY

[@clamstain]

This was me too. I was like, oh no, when he talks to this guy were gonna get so much Yellow-Kid-style "no speakee engree" dialogue that William Randolph Hearst will deserve a co-producer credit.

[@xFlareLeon]

Because clearly every Chinese immigrant always ever spoke perfect English, right?

[@FlameAdder]

Jesus fucking christ is this brainlet actually defending that trainwreck

[@scatmanfan2]

“what happens when an unstoppable asshole meets an immovable bastard” is a top tier line

[@DeadEndScreamer]

I finally figured it out, he's wearing that stupid airplane coat from kickstarter.

[@nekonomicon9938]

DeadEndScreamer So this is wear they got the idea from.... Sounds like a lawsuit to me

[@Kaslay]

What are ya flyin'?

[@Mr_Wallet]

Not even 3 minutes in and he's stealing a newspaper from the shopkeep that _just gave him money._

[@TheShadowCookie]

The mighty clash of incompetent detectives: 1. Mike Dawson - Dark World enthusiast, master of boredom, never ceases to whine about everything... 2. Hopkins FBI - Heavenly enthusiast, master of petty revenge, don't mess with this bad cop... 3. Brent Halligan - Time traveling enthusiast, master of what-the-fuck decisions, would stab his girlfriend just because... 4. Jack Orlando - Silent Type enthusiast, master of insulting everyone in sight, picks up trash for a living... Pick your favorite, watch the magic unfold. The magic of pure unadulterated stupidity.

[@SirMexicanYCP]

I was about to say that you forgot Mr.Parker...but he was actually competent. Competent enough to get some flight with some crappy wings and survive the landing.

[@Jacked_Dude_Loves_Wheyfus]

Hopkins checked behind the target for his girlfriend, shot her dead anyways....Hopkins will always be my favorite incompetent detective.

[@popneppopnep4357]

Halligan for some reason he seems like a person that will not only survive a call of Cthulu game he'll give old man Henderson a run for his money.

[@ItsBigIan]

I played this back in the day and all these audio problems were present at the time.

[@crazyluigi6664]

How would one even fix these issue anyways?

[@ItsBigIan]

I think the problem is in the programming itself. When the music stops, all the other audio stops too. Only way to fix it would be to fix the source code and that's beyond me.

[@ShadowDemon31]

Crazy Luigi Would you want to listen to any more of this game?

[@ItsBigIan]

Oh god no! No! No no no! No.

[@Rhino-n-Chips]

Damn, I was convinced it was a video render problem. I've heard audio glitches before, but never one that fixes in the middle of a sound file, that's a next level fuck up, so it matches the game's writing perfectly.

[@rg1124nov]

So in the brief time since this long play started, Jack has said he hates gays, beaten up a black dude for not letting him rob him, said hookers just straight up don't have feelings, and stolen everything in sight. Why are we rooting for him again?

[@vulcan6460]

I've never seen an adventure game protagonist who collects so many random items without even using them.

[@doyleharken3477]

I believe this is one of those games that let you take items that are without any use whatsoever.

[@helmetluigi]

I'm sure the banana peel will be the deus ex machina for the end

[@YouSoSpice]

Harvester, though?

[@nekonomicon9938]

I swear every time the LP'er brings up the bullet clicking menu I think Jack is going to whip out a gun and shoot someone.

[@doyleharken3477]

Maybe it's for the better if Jack doesn't try to fire his gun. He wasn't able to punch someone over a bar counter, no need to embarass himself even further.

[@crazyluigi6664]

Hey, you're not the only one thinking that!

[@KQVTownTheme]

Nekonomicon It's worth noting that you can pull out your gun at (I believe) every character in the game.

[@enigminator3578]

+Yeazelicious Does it yield the same result with the bartender?

[@loxyloafcake5184]

Jack is probably thinking it too.

[@capthavic]

By the end of this, Jack will have proven himself innocent of the murder but ironically still go to jail for everything else he has done in the process.

[@TimrodDX]

I like how the hotel doorman is just straight up cosplaying as M. Bison.

[@crossmirage]

As a chinese person I die a little inside every time someone thinks we confuse our L's and R's

[@Jessikapus]

I hear you Chinese are very clever

[@crossmirage]

T'ank you friend

[@sugoistalin7809]

I know, right? that's totally a Japanese thing.

[@Tomatowormprince]

Kawai Hitler I will pay 7 Klondike bars if you can tell me the difference.

[@landhawk3706]

Why did you name yourself crossmilage

[@Callestere]

Suddenly Halligan is becoming a likable protagonist. The hell's the deal with this Orlando guy?

[@thomasjenkins7506]

halligan was a saint compared to this guy.

[@Jokoko2828]

Halligan was a incompetent dumbass with a kleptomaniac streak inherent in every adventure game protagonist, Orlando is actively a dick.

[@StandardGoose]

In Jack Orlando's defence, he hasn't yet stabbed anyone with some broken hedge clippers that we know of.

[@Essakturbo1106]

Who's Halligan?

[@nickfarmer2452]

@@Essakturbo1106 See the "Mystery of the Druids" playlist.

[@DogShades]

I think I've figured out Jack's plan here. He's going out of his way to antagonize everyone he meets, just waiting for someone to get into a fight and pull a knife or a gun on him and then he'll frame them for that murder and claim he was just minding his own business before they jumped him.

[@TheLadyEx]

Jack Orlando: walking subreddit.

[@poodypooroo]

"a thousand things nobody needs" says the man with an apple core in his pocket

[@aimeenoodle]

"i've got 1001 useless things and my alcoholic racist tirades are all of them" - jack-z

[@CrazyGamerDragon64]

12:07 "What happens when an unstoppable asshole meets an immovable bastard?"

[@TheEtheru]

I like how Charles seems to be the nicest guy in the game, but even he can't resist an opportunity to take a shot at Jack.

[@smekdei]

I know this game is supposed to be set in the 30s, but was the fucking SCRIPT made in the 30s?!

[@TheRealJabbergeist]

Every conversation in this game is extremely unsettling.

[@capsulej]

"I hear the Chinese laundry is nearby, like across the street for instance."

[@AceAttorny]

I hate it when I leave my carton of prices in the fridge too long and they go out of date.

[@Mantis47]

"Raundry... carefury." "Stlong... angly" Holy shit, if you're gonna do a stereotypical accent could you at least keep it consistent?

[@ShadowDemon31]

RUH ROH, RAGGY!

[@lauramarx8098]

I have never seen that Ls for Rs bit anywhere in my life... its like they invented a brand new offensive stereotype just for the game

[@TiaCosm]

It’s a Japanese stereotype, because the spoken language didn’t have a sound for one of the two. It’s still shitty and racist as hell.

[@Mythraen]

@@lauramarx8098 No, they didn't. I don't know about the Chinese, but this is an actual issue for Japanese people. Simply going by Google, the Japanese use a sound that is in-between those two letters, and this makes it difficult for them to pronounce at least one of them. Similarly, you would likely have difficulty pronouncing the in-between sound. Furthermore, this is _exceptionally_ well-known. Your personal experience has nothing to do with it.

[@lauramarx8098]

@@Mythraen i did know that Japanese /ɾ/ can be realized as either /l/ or /r/, i just hadn't encountered jokes making Rs into Ls, only ever Ls into Rs ('Engrish' etc.). i have since encountered it that way around, although only in pretty old stuff.

[@GhostSilk]

I'm not sure if Jack's going to get some redemption arc down the line, or if he's just going to end up shooting every person he has a slight issue with by the end of the game. There's no way that any developer could think that someone would wanna play as someone akin to the drunk guy at the back of the bar who gets angry real easily.

[@FoxKit]

Why would this Chinese laundry owner even HAVE a scepter of wisdom?!

[@capsulej]

Now I can't stop thinking about what kind of Twitter account Jack Orlando would have.

[@SyberiaWinx]

capsulej I imagine it would be similar to Trump's.

[@moldplayer5432]

I feel like Disco Elysium handled this kind of character a bit better

[@drgeniusphd]

this music is insane

[@thekingofprussia7]

Jack Orlando has to be the most hard boiled, whisky drinking private eye stereotype that's ever been, also that saxophone is so smooth I'm just slipping and sliding all over the place.

[@Lukethefox]

Man, that 'Barfight' is about as threatening as a comment flame war.

[@MajimaGoro8]

Watching Jack Orlando is as excruciating as watching the 2nd season of True Detective. Thank god for Slowbeef and Diabetus, as they give the game some flavor.

[@angelsfoodcake9631]

This became the funniest shit after the fifteenth round of Jack picking a fight with the bartender for no reason

[@theenglishman]

Everybody get out your Jack Orlando Bigotry Bingo Cards! Who's he gonna insult next? My money's on the Jews and/or the Irish.

[@SyberiaWinx]

theenglishman I'll put mine on black 13.

[@futonrevolution7671]

Considering where the game was made, he'll hear someone make an incredibly tame Polish joke and immediately shoot them. Then, he puts a sombrero and fake mustache on them to let the last words they hear be a long list of Mexican insults.

[@countesschewi2399]

Jack Orlando doesn't have the key to the city, he has the "Freedom of the City", which is some sort of gun.

[@StandardGoose]

Chewi Guns = freedom. That's civics 101, bro.

[@grantdanasty]

That is 2 detective/noir games where a Chinese character is basically used as a game-guide. First the old Chinese man in Rise of the Dragon, now here with the Laundry guy.

[@partlycloudy4664]

This game has no structure 😂

[@TheBigL1]

"There we go, I'll just tuck these smokes next to my two separate wads of cash, and my caustic hunk of alien flesh..."

[@KirbyMario12345_939]

I dare Jack to go up to a live lion and call it tasteless. That'd be quite interesting to see, for sure.

[@Bitterswoon]

Why does the Chinese guy have a queue when it's set in the 1930's, two decades after the fall of the Qing Empire

[@Riva1000]

I was laughing so hard. Thanks :D

[@88DreadGT]

WTF?? LOL! Does Jack just have Alzheimer's disease?? I'm no murder mystery expert but these questions he asked people... Chalk 'em up to unsolved.

[@MorrisseyBob]

M Bison has fallen on hard times, now he's just a Hotel Doorman

[@Byshop303]

When's the Charlie spin-off title coming out?

[@SupaPhly0]

I hope he doesn't get hold of a tiki torch

[@meowistforlife]

SupaPhly a comment rich in currentness

[@Skull_Gun]

It would go straight into the jacket

[@DarknessViper99]

I hope he doesn't get hold of a Dodge Challenger.

[@Tomatowormprince]

SupaPhly Now let me tell you about those Hawaiians.

[@PwnedintheFaceStudio]

Mr. Daggers More like so tropical, amirite?

[@duel1]

That was very intelesting. I am chinese, can you terr?

[@thaksjtube]

Jack himself is an alcoholic, but he just can't avoid the temptation to harass someone no matter how hypocritical

[@jmlinde]

The book of wisdom is a collection of fortune cookie quotes.

[@bsmith4358]

Who's the best detective? Halligan Hopkins The sleepy Ambition detective Orlando Jack French Eike Mike Dawson

[@Essakturbo1106]

The sleepy ambition detective, obvs

[@GmodCaboose56]

I was surprised when I found out that this came out a year after Broken Sword came out. It sure doesn't look like it came out in 1997.

[@lex7374]

I love poorly translated games. From what I've found toontraxx (the developer) is based out of Mannheim Germany is there anyone who can give more info on the Genesis of this game?

[@coffeeishappiness]

Where are you off to this fine day? nice callback haha.

[@thapoint09]

You know until now I was willing to give the writers the benefit of the doubt regarding the bigotry, but...

[@zogmorp]

The script for this game was written by the same guy that wrote the dialogue for the movie "Samurai Cop".

[@MJ1284]

Cotton Club eh... evebody cast their votes, which ethnic group Jack is gonna insult in the next episode?

[@BeanBunnyBass]

I'd love to see you all retsupurae the Xenosaga trilogy.

[@BunnLilah]

10:55 Listen to the piano, is that The Trial from Pink Floyd? Or just coincidence?

[@moldplayer5432]

Huh that is actually does sound a bit like it

[@crazyluigi6664]

So is the guy Chinese or Japanese? Better that then what went on there, at least.

[@nekonomicon9938]

Crazy Luigi Doesn't matter Jack hates everyone equally

[@YZaiCreates]

The determination to pronounce Rs as Ls is so extreme that every word is wrapped around it.

[@meowistforlife]

Crazy Luigi it's a Chinese Laundry so hopefully Chinese

[@xinder5]

He from Laos.

[@Psera]

Princess Xinder You mean Roas? :/

[@scruffyburd]

OH SO SOLLY! You t'ought Jack was onry lacist in t'is game? I 'ope you not too angly!

[@breach_meidith]

shop sign says Charlie's, but the guy is Charles. i dunno.

[@Himiko_Void]

This game is slowly making me want to die.

[@kurtofan]

I have stlong feelings about this game

[@ryancole3058]

I just realized Jack is just randomly taking stuff that belongs to other people, just like any good adventure game protagonist, but this game it's actually justified because he's garbage. Holy crap Jack Orlando is the ideal point-and-click protag.

[@partlycloudy4664]

What an unnecessary comment about the lions lol

[@Nionivek]

Ok I can't stand this longplay anymore... the sound cutting out KILLS the momentum.

[@DeimionWolf]

that chinese script tho...

[@bigtastyben5119]

When will these fine fellows riff simgirls