Orny Adams | Adam Carolla Show | 2/23/23

Orny Adams joins Adam as they discuss the problem with “yawners” before Orny talks about how he almost died in a plane crash. Orny explains why he will not be forgiving Kanye on behalf of all Jews and Adam laments about men who do the “knee over knee” leg cross. Next, Adam plays another round of ‘March Madness Madness’ and Dawson tells the story of how he got bit by a dog
Chris reports the news. Adam learns about 'digital blackface' which makes him think racism has jumped the shark. They guys hear about a handyman turning the tables on squatters which leads to a debate about carpenters vs handymen. Next, they talk about Gwyneth Paltrow’s trial, a Mississippi news anchor getting fired after quoting Snoop Dogg, and Aaron Hernandez's older brother throwing a brick at ESPN's headquarters.
See Orny Adams live:
Houston TX - The Riot Comedy Club - March 31st and April 1st
Las Vegas, NV - Jimmy Kimmel’s Comedy Club - April 13th to 16th
Port Charlotte, FL - Visani Comedy Zone - April 27th to 29th
And for more live dates, visit OrnyAdams.com
See Orny in the new movie, ‘Teen Wolf: The Movie’ streaming now on Paramount +
Listen to ‘What's Wrong With Orny Adams’ wherever you find podcasts
Watch Orny’s special ‘More Than Loud’ for free on KZbin
And follow Orny on Twitter, @OrnyAdams
THANKS FOR SUPPORTING TODAY’S SPONSORS:
ForThePeople.com/ADAM
The Jordan Harbinger Show
OreillyAuto.com
Executive Producers: Chris Laxamana & Mike August
Audio Engineer: Mike Dawson
Writer: Mike Lynch
Technical Director: Emi Funes
Producer: Ben Hayes
Assistant Producer: Byron Perez

[@brettmuir5679]

In retrospect, this conversation with Orney Adams is sooooo good Revisiting old episodes Love you all @ "The Adam Carolla Show"

[@JAY-wb2fv]

I agree, Orny, every turn, every industry, people are untrustworthy, either due to incompetence, or flat out lying. At 61, it's the worst I've ever experienced.

[@debbieskrletts725]

Damn orny is so funny. I love to hear him go thru a story. His reasoning is a riot.

[@ornyadams]

Thanks Debbie-- which story on this podcast?

[@debbieskrletts725]

The jonah hill and oregon militia and chutzpah bit. Also you engage in Adam's stories and move them along. You are generous to other comedians or speakers. The whole jew talk was funny. You pay attention and add to the conversation in a funny manner. 21 jump street is still cracking me up. You are conversationally funny. The fiddler on the roof thing was good. You were funny all the way through!

[@JAY-wb2fv]

Loving Orny. Clear thought process. Funny.

[@balloonnoo]

Orny makes a great sidekick.

[@ornyadams]

Thanks Jimmy. Wait sidekick! Equals!

[@balloonnoo]

@@ornyadams I should have used Great Co-Host. My bad.

[@heatherhopper8848]

This episode was so awesome! Thanku! Orny great guest on Adam's show. So fun.😅😊

[@fattsfatts7891]

I love the black bell and hammer. Please make it a permanent part of the show. I can see the joy you get from banging it and i know everyone watching is laughing. Thanks Adams.

[@franpower8208]

Oh Man! So funny. I love Adam's March madness madness, and Orny's reactions. Great show!

[@freebirdjackson5511]

Put a helmet on Orny Adams and he looks like a live action version of Special Ed.

[@Susan-yc7ij]

I love re- watching Adam & Orny, Orny is my favorite guest on Adams pod.

[@eugeniovasquez3780]

I was at the gym didn't want to workout today but this show totally lifted the mood. I'm laughing while I'm doing the shoulder press and seriously I'm better now thank you so much for this.

[@MrBuketman]

Orny, don’t cross your legs like a woman. Ankle on knee, or even do the man spread if appropriate. Like at the movies. A man can do the woman leg cross alone at home while alone, never. Welcome to manhood, or at least Texas.

[@keeganshigh]

But what did you have for lunch? I'm sure everyone who loves your gym non story needs to know.

[@theasianjaywalker4455]

The 'Point Collectors' thing is something we NEEDED to have discussed. It's almost never talked about outside the famous biblical idea of True Love often read at the wedding (where intense point collections are going on) "keeps no records of wrongs". Instead, this is rampant and epidemic and let me assure you this is standard BS manipulation in other parts of the world. It's not just restaurants. If the husband has a new job in a new city, he can appeal all he wants to the wife, she can agree but as the move is decided and begins she will say 'welp... this is what YOU wanted...' and begin dropping the premise this was HIS IDEA not hers and so on. It doesn't matter if she is also, in reality, inside, she also agrees with it. It's a useful way to get 'debt' from him. To put points against him. really, any young man OR reverse that and if you're a young woman but if you see a potential romantic interest doing 'points collecting' GTFO NOW. DO NOT engage any further.

[@dan-mn2lb]

Yeah get it on got to get it on!!

[@joshhankins9544]

Hi guy!!! In defense of being a current "handyman"& journeyman finish &rough carpenter, a handyman is a useful competent and in demand service to every homeowner in the world

[@hankhanson6922]

Orny and Adam together is always awesome.

[@MissWeezeyUSA]

Respect Adam’s wood 🪵 people! 😂😂😂 (Use the fricken’ coasters already)

[@jayrhough1912]

Fantastic show! Orny Adams is comedic Gold!👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@ornyadams]

Thanks Jay! Have you had a chance to watch my MORE THAN LOUD special?

[@chailatte2160]

@@ornyadams I haven't, but I'm going to. You are so funny. I'm glad I discovered you on Adam's show!

[@jayrhough1912]

@@ornyadams I’ll check it out.👍🏼

[@debbieskrletts725]

@@jayrhough1912 watch it. Orny is a riot!

[@debbieskrletts725]

Love orny and Adam. Good show

[@el_oh_ell]

Love hearing Dawson say Chris and the news.

[@ttken588]

Orny, the poor man's Gilbert Godfrey

[@brianchacon6208]

What up Orn Dog!

[@franksimonds04]

Their patter is like brothers...

[@Beefbus]

Good to hear Gilbert is doing well.

[@robertfrancois6064]

Which one could do a better impersonation?

[@johnotoole5786]

Blasphemy. Gilbert is just unavailable hes in a meeting wit saget

[@MrChris6143]

I love seeing the ambulance chasers "Morgan & Morgan" paying to keep Adam's podcasts free.

[@crochunter35]

Larry David: "I respect wood."

[@el_oh_ell]

That’s a recent cnn article? It was definitely in something about 5 years ago word for word.

[@SkinnyKitchen]

I always wondered how and why some guys crossed their legs like that... thanks for the explanation, Ace! I haven't been able to cross my legs like that since I was a little kid, it's always sub ankle on the dominant leg because the dominant leg can bear the weight of the other leg better. I can't even do that anymore, it's ankle over ankle or I get a charlie horse in the crossed leg after 5 minutes. It's way easier to do the "man spread" and just let the guys dominate the seat and breathe.

[@scottpmcg44]

Orny is really good on the pod. Nice job.

[@dirtymike1274]

New favorite podcast. Even though Ace has been doing it forever

[@badgerfishinski6857]

I'm sick and tired of these parents that let their kids run rampant bat shit crazy on airplanes.

[@CommieGobbledygook]

Good Lord. We almost lost Orny on that crazy plane flight.

[@ornyadams]

My thought exactly! Thanks.

[@prudhommejc]

Who owns the Jesus bit? That was funny af!

[@tygold8554]

On Florida seeming to have a disproportionate amount of weird crime: I can't verify it but some dude online said that Florida doesn't have any more weird crime than other states. Instead, there's some quirk in Florida law that makes all these crimes (and the criminals) more easily accessible to the media and the public. I kind of doubt it - I think somebody is just defending their beloved state.

[@yallgonemadd3786]

adam...you need to scream that into your pal jimmy scummels ear !! he supports all the shit you just spewed out !! love it !!

[@HeartTurnedToStone]

Orny❕ When are you coming back to Western Washington❔

[@davevallely7129]

How in the World does Maxxipad get to pick tournament winners.

[@rachelhart.2386]

Man-spreading is the way! I am put off by men who "present"...lol

[@dereksupernaut]

what happened to the Big Naturals??? am i right??? asking for a friend... fax!!!

[@There_Will_Be_Bond]

Orny is in awe of Adam's March Madness Madness & it's hilarious. Also I point score all the time, and I feel ashamed. However, I took a semi-cold shower this morning and feel like I redeemed myself in the pussy stakes. (PS - mainly cold showering because I haven't been able to work the new boiler yet, in truth, unsure if it's working at all or the plumber just cleverly affixed a green pilot light inside the casing and ignored whatever the underlying fault was. Just goes to show you shouldn't place your trust in a one star Trust Pilot review, no matter how good the review is).

[@lordofthetrailerpark7565]

2/23/23?

[@JAY-wb2fv]

I had a "REVOLUCION" conversation with a South American banana republic native Lyft driver. He understood, although he was cautiously understated.

[@jayhensley5916]

👍👍

[@dustinrolstad752]

1:20:15 Ha. What a great Adam moment. He thought he was going ot school someone on carpentry, and Orny was just like "oh yeah? Can you spell it?"

[@brek5]

I wouldn't have known "nizzle" was a stand-in for the n-word. Like... people are supposed to know all this stuff?

[@charliecook7792]

If Mike August is the Tour Manager, wouldn't he have known the return flight was so jacked days to, weeks or months in advance?

[@danielcp1985]

No one understands travel between the Ace Man and all his employees. It drives me nuts.

[@napesdrk1174]

Is the date wrong on this show?

[@ornyadams]

looks that way. Good eye.

[@jacklakin6667]

I cross my legs both ways. If leaning into the chair, ankle over knee. If sitting upright, knee over knee. Am I a transjenga?

[@richb313]

Orny tries to take over Adam's show.

[@quemedenunacuenta]

My Lyft conversations are getting real🎉

[@pantyraid524]

who the hell is orny adams, never heard of him till carolla had him on a couple times

[@dialedin5875]

Stop ye

[@FSUBrando]

Dr. Drewish

[@cliffyknight]

I'll be seeing the Ace man in Fresno!!!!

[@freethinkeralways]

I'm jealous...

[@freebirdjackson5511]

Hoover High class of 76

[@cliffyknight]

@@freethinkeralways This will be my 1st time seeing live. I'm stoked.

[@freethinkeralways]

@@cliffyknight Enjoy! I hope I ll make it to one of his shows one day.

[@cliffyknight]

@@freethinkeralways Thank you

[@napesdrk1174]

Kramer, Nizzel,Nizzel,Nizzel!!

[@happydog6537]

Any thoughts on the way, Dr. Drew reacted when that transvestite freak grabbed onto Ben Shapiro and threatened him. Any thoughts Adam?

[@aprilrawls5162]

This was so good! Orny and Adam should do a podcast together. Great chemistry. Loved it! ❤️

[@garyfitz6038]

Yeeeaaa😊

[@bengalroku8210]

Chris where the f is your coaster?

[@TheAndysim66]

Dawson, why is your friend still living with his mother?

[@koriwaya]

Love the Bell, Mijo!

[@bpoindexter7404]

Props to the camera man in that Orny vid!🤣🤣🤣 No doubt that person has a sense of humor

[@ornyadams]

Yup-- perfect!

[@josephm8294]

Is Morgan and Morgan a scam like Rich Uncle? I'm trying to figure it all out. Maybe both are aren't scams.

[@ACME_knockoffs]

Good advice. Need more classical music on a walk! The bpm is low though for jogging

[@AH-yu2pi]

Wow. Orny knows nothing. Adam brings up any topic, Orny has no idea, needs a word defined or needs an example preferably visual.

[@JAY-wb2fv]

That cross-examining plaintiff attorney was trying to develop a relationship 💰💰💰 with filthy rich Paltrow. And, we're back to not trusting anyone.

[@jeremyorwhatever]

This is like one long Yanny / Laurel test. When I close my eyes I sometimes I hear Orny Adams, other times it’s Harland Williams, Jordan Peterson, or Michael Richards.

[@ornyadams]

Don't close your eyes.

[@JAY-wb2fv]

When TSA "feelers" go home, they very over-enthusiastically feel their woman's breast up with the FRONT of their hand. Deprived compensation.

[@MudFossilEvidence]

THEY MADE JESUS MADE HIS OWN CROSS

[@ermindalucero4384]

How you gonna feel yourself with that mit

[@TheDandyManCan_]

When you cross your legs like a chick, you have to move all of your junk up....hold it....then cross those legs. Wicked comfortable, give it a shot and don't forget to sniff your hand after

[@blakemoreln]

I enjoy Orny as a guest. And no impressions!

[@donnacobb4027]

Very disrespectful about the crucifixion

[@ChevypowerSS]

I am heavily conflicted about who to pick for a solid co-host. Skinny Jodi is rock solid and to be honest, very easy on the eyes. Orny is also solid and a great sit in. Both very sharp and funny!

[@gregy1570]

jodi-is-another-raunchy-unfunny-joooess

[@tysonb1057]

no full-time co-host, that is the answer.

[@eric_brooks]

Is Adam looking for a full time (female) co host?

[@danielcp1985]

Honestly I think there's a groove being found here with no co-host except Maxipada. Jodi 1-2x a week and mix in the other "friends of the show" keeps things fresh.

[@steveyoung6702]

I will seriously stop listening to this show is orny becomes a cohost.

[@el_oh_ell]

Wonder what planet they’re on where heebies don’t bring up the holocaust every 5 minutes

[@byronh5806]

Never heard of him

[@ornyadams]

Likewise

[@ermindalucero4384]

Orny s ornery

[@jspfromnycgloba]

Orny adams so witty

[@kentanch2601]

Jonah won't but Larry David will

[@JAY-wb2fv]

Jesus Christ was not NAILED to the cross. Nails were expensive. He was lashed with rope. Crucifiixtion death was caused by exposure and asphyxiation. One cannot breath very long hanging in that position.

[@doctorzangief]

Every photo of Eisenhower shows him crossing his legs like that but the leader of the Allied Forces wasn't a real man like Adam "I get my eyebrows waxed" Carolla.

[@powercurlpowerlifting3489]

I don't fully understand why these Alt Left guys keep coming on, Orny is one of the better ones, but it's cringe to hear Adam tell it how it is and the other person looks confused.

[@tyd8077]

Adam is way off about why the jews are successful. It's not just "grit"

[@kirkmcmillan1974]

1:16:06 Traditionally Jesus has been thought to be a carpenter, but may actually have been a mason. Skilled craftsman of some sort.

[@el_oh_ell]

The reason he was a tradesman was because he represented honesty and truth. What happens when a carpenter isn’t honest? The house falls apart.

[@michaelhuyge9881]

1:46:29 Orny Adams embraces his red pill

[@lynnturman8157]

Are you 13 years old, Adam Carolla? I'm a dude and sometime I cross my legs at the knees. Sometimes I cross my legs by putting my ankle on my knee. It's all about what feels more comfortable at the time.

[@sheephurder]

I guess it's just the Gen. xer's. I mean, it's a problem because we're fucking normal

[@happydog6537]

But the point collecting thing doesn’t work when dealing with women. Let’s say the woman is a savings account every day you as the man feel like you’re doing good deeds doing what you should making deposits I made a lot of deposits today I made some big ones then after a couple of weeks, you go to pull some out and the balance is zero because every day it starts over it doesn’t grow it doesn’t accrue interest. It’s zero every morning. That’s a relationship for a man. What have you done for me lately?

[@brucepawley4972]

Less Orny Adams... not funny....

[@johnotoole5786]

Adam Kimmel should've mentioned ur divorce at Oscars n u went up n slapped him but for real talknn smick smack bout Rodgers cuz his sands dissipating quick in that hourglass

[@Launchpad1892]

I had to stop listening after the 9th time Adam said "Point Collector" What are you trying to start a new term.

[@sheephurder]

Then why do you listen in the first place? Do you literally have nothing better to do with your life? Then come on here, can say ridiculous things.

[@Launchpad1892]

@sheephurder I listen because I usually i like the content. & No...I have nothing better to do with my life than to say " ridiculous" things. Apparently you're life's better than mine. Congratulations....I..... guess.....

[@JAY-wb2fv]

Why are you continually subjecting your audience to Tyler Perry ads? Did Perry dump a ton of money on Podcast One? What are we missing?

[@kirbyd]

I hate the yelling rant segment in the show now . super annoying and exhausting .

[@dialedin5875]

Ok giant Gina

[@kirbyd]

@@dialedin5875 aree you calling me gina? . sorry I dont like listening to someone forcing themselves to yell for 15 minutes straight .

[@AH-yu2pi]

You're not alone

[@IMDunn-oy9cd]

I like it.

[@danielcp1985]

It'll be over after the Ncaa Tournament. Also Adam made his bones on LA radio ranting.

[@keeganshigh]

I have a prodigious sack.

[@nathanaelmorris8859]

Holy shit

[@keeganshigh]

Poach Dameshek back fulltime.

[@cliffiez4540]

Orny Adams and Adam Carolla - two of the least funniest people alive.