MY WORST EVER EXPERIENCE IN FRANCE (an important lesson)

[@OuiInFrance]

Please note that what happened is NOT representative of French culture or French behavior. This could have happened anywhere and is not a reflection of French people as a whole. Also... EDIT 1: I'm getting a bunch of questions about why I didn't call the police so hoping this might provide more context: Hindsight is 20/20, right? It's hard to explain why I didn't call the police and I was actually scared to post this because of being judged. But you never know how you'll react in a situation until you're in it. I'm over this now. I've had 3 years to process it and it's all water under the bridge. But to try to explain, at that time, the grief was so overwhelming and I was basically doing the bare minimum and just getting through the day. A close family member had died just before my mom. Then my beloved dog Dagny went into heart failure a week after my mom died (and died shortly thereafter) and it was the worst time of my life. I can't stress that enough what kind of mental state I was in. Then to have this traumatic experience come out of nowhere just shook me even more. I was embarrassed that I "let" this happen and mad that I didn't run out of the store or stand up for myself. In the moment, they made me feel like a criminal and were threatening me so when they said they would call the police, I was scared and embarrassed to have had this situation escalate. I wasn't thinking clearly enough to say, "Go ahead! You took me down here, locked the door, are threatening me and took my electronics! They'll be on my side!" I wish I had said that. And they probably DIDN'T call the police because that very thought occurred to them. I was furious the guys treated me that way. I was embarrassed how it escalated and emotionally empty. I wasn't sure what rights I had. I know I didn't have any proof. I didn't have the strength or energy to find out either. And then to make a report, to retell the story, to go head to head with someone who would invalidate my side of the story. It was all too much. I of course told Tom who was heartbroken for me seeing the state I was in when I came home. He was extremely angry. Anyway, I focused on healing and just moving forward. Should I have pressed charges or at least filed a complaint? Maybe. Would I if it happened today. 100%. I hope that makes sense. ;-) EDIT 2: People have asked why I'm not naming and shaming the store. Here's why: I'm not here for revenge or to name and shame. It's been 3 years and the store has changed owners (although I still won't shop there). I have nothing against the overall chain though and know this was just one bad apple and not behavior indicative of all of this chain's managers so I don't want any fallout for them. The important part of the story is the lesson and that's what I hope people take away from it. The rest is all water under the bridge at this point. I've made peace w/the situation and that's why I was able to talk about it. Thanks for understanding where I'm coming from with that.😉

[@enriquesanchez2001]

I just had to take THREE ADVIL pills after listening to this harrowing experience, Dianne! My blood pressure shot up and wondered feverishly as I skipped forward nervously to find out how it ended! I am so truly sorry this happened to you!

[@tokyorosa]

@@enriquesanchez2001 Same. That was awful. I should have stopped the video because it was so upsetting!!

[@pamelawing5747]

I imagine that is not your favorite place to shop now? Wow Diane, THAT was really an ugly experience. Collaborate? Yea, buddy, lets collaborate on ME giving YOU a knuckle sandwich. I got pick pocketed not far from Notre Dame a few years ago. It was NOT my first trip and I knew how to be careful and I knew who to look for and I was just furious at myself. I would have been in a world of hurt if not traveling with my friend. My credit union had just changed ownership and even though they told my my debit card would be fine during the change, after the third day in London it stopped working and then, of course all my credit cards were when my wallet was stolen in Paris. Anyway, it reaffirmed my thoughts about "never say never". Anything can happen so you have to be aware all the time without being paranoid. I've always been trusting of people and over the 79 years of my life, I have seen a change in the culture. There WAS a time I could go to work and leave my house unlocked. THOSE days are LONG gone.

[@LeopoldoGhielmetti]

That's called a kidnapping, it's not something that should simply been forgotten. It's probably normal to be confused by the situation, but it's sure that calling the police or let them to call the police was the proper thing to do. Even after you had come home, you should have called the police so those things doesn't happen anymore. In those situations, calling the police is the right thing to do, it's easy to explain when the police is there because the policemen usually ear what you have to say and they are trained to de-escalate a situation.

[@thesparkedlife]

After watching the Giselle Pelicot trial and learning about the very misogynistic culture in France I am unsure if the police would have been on your side. Scary. That is just what French women are communicating to the world- they don’t even report because they are not believed by the police. Hopefully what happened in the Pelicot case will begin to bring about change. I’m so sorry that happened to you. It sounds positively terrifying. 😢

[@mariebambelle7361]

I'm French and SO SHOCKED and SO SORRY about what happened to you !!! You absolutely must go to the police and tell them what happened, even 4 years after it happened. I assure you that they will take it seriously. Maybe they will not be able to do anything but maybe they will and i think it's worth trying. What happened to you is serious !

[@mariebambelle7361]

I live in Maine et Loire too and now i'm gonna look at every managers of the stores i go !

[@karlenedream7790]

French police won’t care.

[@nusuth24]

Or at least name & shame. People need to know who they're giving their money too. That store owner needs to go out of business.

[@karlenedream7790]

@@mariebambelle7361 French police won’t do a thing. They don’t care. Plus, because because she is a foreigner, the police will be more likely to side with the French shopkeeper.

[@kath6720]

@@karlenedream7790n’importe quoi 🙄

[@kellybootes3732]

I live in California, and worked in a grocery store. Neither management nor Loss Prevention (private security) would dare behave this way, the risk of lawsuit would be *huge*. In fact, I was often called in to the room when a female shoplifter was detained, as a witness for her safety against sexual harassment. When you described going to the dark, empty backroom of the store, I was really worried the worst would happen to you. So glad it didn't. I lost my mom 2021, and my nervous system was wrecked for a year, so I deeply empathize with your struggle to think clearly in that situation. I'm so sorry you lost your mom, Diane, and then had this trauma. Wishing you well.

[@OuiInFrance]

It's interesting because here lawsuits are kind of rare (like personal injury, big civil suits, etc.). The US is much more litigious. I was surprised here that for gynecological exams, chest x-rays, pelvic ultrasounds, etc. w/a male doctor, a nurse doesn't need to be present or anything like that. Thank you for your kind words and I'm sorry about your mom too.

[@lewjames6688]

Huge lawsuit inthe USA. We do do somethings better than France!

[@bodawei425]

It's because in France, nothing would happen. The police would not bother spending time on this. They would have tons of reports to write. It does not improve their stats. The Justice would take years to process the case (there are even not enough elements to have a 'case' in the first place). There are so many cases of people who have been robbed or even women victims of domestic violence or rape, who don't go to the police. Really unfortunate.

[@puccaland]

In France the store headquarter and the law don't either. But she didn't file a complaint, didn't report anything and didn't want the police to get involved.

[@puccaland]

​@@lewjames6688 Suing for all and everything isn't a good thing. It creates a society when people try to create situations to be able to sue and get something out of it. It also creates a society when justice becomes a business with people who can't afford it not being able to get quality judicial help. In that case in the video headquarter getting involved was enough. If he did something really damaging like breaking the camera, physically or verbally harming her erasing the micro SD, then a lawsuit would be warranted. She can still sue the manager for abusive misconduct but the case is so light that it's a waste of time.

[@julienserre8867]

Hi Diane. It looks like very illegal behaviour from the owner of the shop. I'm very angry at this guy. Every thing he did or said was very wrong. You should have called the police. He didn't listened to anything you said letting no chance to prouve who you were. He had no right to take you're material like that. He had no right to touch you like that. He is no representative of the law

[@CalifaJohn1]

If she were my wife, he would get a visit from me. 😡

[@liliyakoltanyuk1509]

I'm so sorry for you. I discovered for myself that the best thing in those situations is either to ask witnesses to call the police or to shriek at the top of my voice

[@bodawei425]

You need a phone to call the police...

[@liliyakoltanyuk1509]

@bodawei425 That's why I said that I would ask a witness or passers-by to call the police

[@bodawei425]

@@liliyakoltanyuk1509 She was in the basement (or an isolated room) of the supermarket. No witness. No phone.

[@tamray7952]

Women should ALWAYS trust their instincts (or gut)!

[@zazubombay]

I am so sorry this happened to you. You experienced severe trauma. That is no small thing. You have nothing to be embarrassed about! When my mother died, I was just not myself for a long time. I had two car accidents. I couldn't function. My household got out of control. It's very, very hard. Sending you good wishes for 2025.

[@gegene007]

Personnellement, je crois que j'aurais accepté l'intervention de la police avec soulagement. ... Toute cette histoire est inacceptable, et la personne qui a enfreint la loi, c'est lui.

[@estelladog1]

You are correct~!

[@cathyhsu-jt9rg]

Totally agree, I already heard about such incidents, once the victim, who lived in the vincinity of the store, heard that the the security agent responsible for the "arrest" was actually promoted afterward. Some managers are ruthless and not afraid to break the law, because French people are reluctant to go to the police in those situations. We should actually complaint and expose those bastards!

[@EdDale44135]

It feels like you are apologizing for your reaction to this encounter. You should not feel bad that two men kidnapped you, took you to a dark place and screamed at you for 30 minutes. What a scary experience. I feel bad for you.

[@OuiInFrance]

I was embarrassed I wasn't stronger. I'm not a meek person and today I would have acted differently. I think that's why I didn't file a complaint. I was sure I'd get blamed and it would be a he said/she said thing and to relive it to tell the police would have broken me further (and i'm sure people will blame me here in the comments. I was scared to post this).

[@messinalyle4030]

@@OuiInFrance Even the strongest people have weak moments, especially in an unfamiliar environment and under extreme emotional stress. You have nothing to be ashamed of. And whoever judges you in the comments should keep their mouths shut until they've walked a mile in your shoes.

[@RPLstudiocity]

OMG! That sounds so traumatizing and scary! I'm so glad you made it out of there with your memory card!! ((hugs))

[@ectoplasmicentity]

Thanks Diane for this story. Sorry it happened to you. Very Brave to recall this memory and tell us.

[@susandobbis]

Your inner voice is your best friend. If someone is being impolite and unreasonable, being polite to avoid escalation can backfire easily. Clearly, there is something wrong with this man's being. I'm glad you came away without physcial harm. But mental and emotional harm is just as real and very hard to overcome. I feel for you Diane. Give yourself big hugs for being such a lovely person and continuing to regard the other in such a difficult situation. Hope there will never be another event like this. Anyway, we won't miss grocery store coverage. Just you sharing language stuff is exhilarating enough. Love and Happy healthy new year. xxx

[@catfrexfrecat1800]

Je sais que c'était un moment très choquant pour vous et super traumatisant, mais quand il a dit "on va appeler la police", vous auriez dû sauter sur l'occasion et dire "oh oui, s'il vous plait appelez-les", par ce qu'ils ont fait est tout à fait illégal, ils n'avaient pas le droit de faire justice eux-mêmes, à vous intimider, à vous confisquer votre matériel et même à vous retenir contre votre gré.

[@renferal5290]

Bloody hell!! you poor love!! I am so thankful things turned out well. I wish I could give you a hug. I will be back in France in a few months and I will keep this story in mind. I really enjoyed this video. Thank you for sharing. I had an experience in Rome very recently where a man approached me while I was out walking. He asked if I wanted to get a coffee. He kept on saying I was beautiful. I'm bloody 64 and far from beautiful LOL I told him politely to sod off

[@rosemarie7705]

Wow, the way you were treated was absolutely horrific, he took it way to far. I remember two years ago, when I was in Paris, I was on my way back to my hotel and it was very late about 11:30 PM at night and I got lost. I started asking for directions and I was very close to my hotel, but I was still lost. I saw a bar open and I went inside to ask the bartender for directions and he started screaming at me and told me to take my dirty hands off of his counter and that he did not know where my hotel was at. I went outside feeling in shock and then ran into an Uber driver and he gave me directions to my hotel that night. I was only 3 blocks away and what upset me so much was that the bartender didn’t care to help a woman who was alone and lust at 11:30 at night. There are just some awful people that exist in this world.

[@OuiInFrance]

Yuuuuuuuuuuuck, I'm so sorry the bartender acted like that. When we can help others, do it. Always. What did he get out of acting so rudely? I'm sorry.

[@rosemarie7705]

@ I love french people and I have been to France three times and I have never experienced such rudeness as his.

[@jml4774]

I cannot imagine how I would react. I would be so terrified. In the US you would go to the police and press charges...especially since he locked you in a room. What you may be experiencing is a PTSD response (and might be worthy of a therapy appt.)

[@heleneg525]

I agree about contacting the police to press charges. But women need to stop being terrified and start being aggressive in these situations. Fight back, holler, stop being Ms. Nice Lady.

[@FanNy-ku6wt]

She should have. In France no whop owner is allowed to treat someone like that. No one in fact.

[@katieodonnell6754]

I’m so sorry this happened to you! How awful, especially when you were grieving ❤

[@denisearonow4921]

Seriously traumatic. Horrible. Frightening. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

[@ShotgunWizard]

I would have called the cops immediately, followed by a lawsuit shortly after. This is insane

[@OuiInFrance]

I WISH I'd FILMED IT!!! Wouldn't that have been funny if I had been secretly recording it all. Then it wouldn't have been he said/she said w/the police.

[@bodawei425]

Useless here. No proof of prejudice. Look at all the thugs out there is France, many already committed multiple crimes.

[@lindapots3992]

Diane, thank you so much for sharing this experience. I spend time every year in Paris, and I love to take video clips of the products in the Monoprix, BHV, etc… just to share with friends, post on my social media account, and for my own memories- I love these places. I think I’ve maybe been lucky up until now, and am taking your story to heart. My videoing in shops will now be a thing of the past. I’m so sorry about what happened to you, and for the loss of your mom.

[@cookeechoc8824]

2 men took advantage of the fact that you were a woman and a foreigner. They wouldn't have done this with a french man. Pure cowardice and, sadly, not that uncommon in France... So sorry that you had to experience that.

[@margueriteb.3376]

All french people are not like that awful men. So to say it's not uncommon in France, it's too much. I am very sorry for this happened to Diane, but it's not a common thing.

[@davidskalak2908]

Hi Diane, I was watching your video when I was out walking the dogs. I had to stop the walk when the second guy showed up. I had a lump in my throat, my heart racing as I pictured you in this situation. I'm sure it has occurred to you that one form of the collaboration that in the end the manager so desired would be to identify the store. I found in France that the desire for privacy works "both ways". In the two much much less serious situations I experienced, even as a male I found that loudly calling attention to a French person's inappropriate behavior can make them back off when they are subject to the bystanders' attention. Thank you for sharing your story. It'll stick with me for a long time. Oh, and happy end-of-year holiday!

[@carolinebenforado]

Hi Diane, I'm so sorry this happened to you! It's an incredible, horrible story. You did everything right. I hope you have recovered in some way.

[@lechatel]

Telling them you didn't want the Police called when they first mentioned it was a big error. He assumed it was because you had something to fear. You should have called his bluff and INSISTED he called the Police. Sometimes trying to be reasonable and 'de-escalate' things doesn't work....especially with bullies.

[@OuiInFrance]

Hindsight is 20/20. Pls see my edit in the pinned comment

[@janefreda7034]

My goodness that sounds traumatic. I'm sorry you had to experience that. Thank you for sharing so we can learn from this.

[@LQQK-GR8]

I’ve listened to your entire video with utter shock … such a horrible experience! You seem like a very lovely person and I imagine that you have many people in your life who love and appreciate you. Despite the occasional dark soul that we encounter in our life journeys, I hope that you can still find the many who are kind and and considerate. As someone who also spends a great deal of time in France, I send you a genuine hug and an expression of genuine heartache that you had to live through such a traumatic experience. 🤗 🤗 🤗. I will take your important life lesson to heart and thank you for your courage and wisdom in sharing your story.

[@OuiInFrance]

Thank you, I really appreciate your kind comment.

[@karihedrick2389]

I’m so so sorry this happened to you. I studied in Angers 25 years ago and had a Angevin family for 10 years after that, so made lots of trips to Angers from the US. I had the same notion as you. “Maybe this is just what they do in France.” Nothing ever happened to me like your situation, but it was sometimes hard to tell if it was a cultural difference or pure unacceptable behavior. So scary and glad you got out of the situation. I lost my mom and dad in 2018 and was a complete mess for at least a year. I cried when the Trader Joe’s cashier asked how I was doing and I told them that I had just lost my mom. They gave me a bouquet of flowers! They were so kind. Which is what I wish would have happened for you. I have no earthly idea how you were able to handle this situation. Especially with the last memories of your mom on the line. It sounds like you were able to diffuse the completely inappropriate behavior, which is big kudos to you. Thank you for sharing your story and helping others avoid similar situations. And thank you so much for also sharing the other bits of France (specifically that region) that I remember and love. Happy New Year to you. ❤️

[@melissakbauer]

Reminds me of the time I was in Florence, Italy and couldn't find my ticket to exit the club. I got into a literal tug of war with the bouncer - I was the rope - he wouldn't let me leave, grabbed my arm. I argued that I had every right to, and my friend pulled my other arm to get me out. In the end, I won but holy sh*t, it was insane.

[@OuiInFrance]

Ugh, I don't know why people think it's OK to put their hands on someone else aggressively. I'm sorry.

[@susanbartone1347]

This is awful! I am so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing.

[@roxannewolf7130]

Hi Diane, of course any experience like this is going to traumatize and scare anyone! You were totally and completely caught off guard to expect this kind of treatment. I would suggest instead of being afraid for the future, I would totally learn from this experience and be prepared to prove who you are immediately, and doing your best to not be intimidated. Stand your ground, but from here on, be ready for this to perhaps happen again. PREPARE, and go forward with confidence! 👍👍

[@Blip-Quip]

Morale of story for me: Always have an exit plan or phrase. I learned this from selling stuff on Marketplace, especially when someone comes to the house asking to use your bathroom. If you practice the responses ahead of time, they become easier to execute. Women especially are erroneously taught to be people pleasing, which is all the more reason to plan ahead. I was in Mexico filming some turquoise jewelry when a woman told me I couldn't film, and I immediately said "so sorry" and quickly exited the store. When in doubt, run! LOL!

[@jeffik1300]

Thanks for posting. Always interesting to hear about your experiences living in France.

[@lindadorman2869]

This is an important reminder that rude and inappropriate behavior can happen anywhere. What if you were simply a tourist taking pictures of your vacation shopping, and not a KZbinr?

[@OuiInFrance]

I think this guy would have been confrontational and aggressive with anyone that day.

[@michelesauret7779]

Ils ont outrepassé leurs droits, je serais allée à la police expliquer leurs actions à posteriori 😩

[@JosetteThompson]

Totalement d’accord !

[@walisabeth]

This story broke my heart. And I fully understand how things were for you at the time. You were very vulnerable and unwilling to fight - just eager to de-escalate the situation, which this guy was not willing to do for a long time. I have a few chosen words, that politeness prevents me to use to qualify that store owner. I have had altercations with store clerks in France, and once with a bar/restaurant owner here in the U.S., who had let two customers insult me and my husband, who had asked them to tone down their loud, foul language. But thise were nothing compared to what that guy put you through. Thanks for having shared your story. ❤️🇫🇷🇺🇸❤️

[@OuiInFrance]

Thank you for watching ;-)

[@AtlantaGarden]

What a disturbing story! So sorry you went through this. I wish you had divulged the store so no one would go there, but there could be repercussions from that, too, so... Brave of you to share.

[@OuiInFrance]

Thank you. No, I'm not here for revenge or to name and shame. It's been 3 years and the store has changed owners (although I still won't shop there). I have nothing against the overall chain though and know this was just one bad apple and not behavior indicative of all of this chain's managers so I don't want any fallout for them. The important part of the story is the lesson and that's what I hope people take away from it. The rest is all water under the bridge at this point. ;-)

[@Daglato]

You are a saint for not trashing his reputation on line after this. You're probably wise too.

[@ballisonfargo]

Jerks exist no matter where in the world you are but one lesson to take away here. Never ever ever ever let a stranger take you to different location. His intentions could have been so much worse.

[@Scully331]

I was scared just listening to your story. I understand those feelings will stay with you for life. I would have been terrified. I am a bit older than you, and as I age, I just don't care what others think so I think I would have yelled "somebody call the police please - this man is assaulting me!" I would be shouting my name and my husbands name in case they were going to do something bad. Making a scene when someone is harassing or assaulting you is the right thing to do, draw attention! But when I was your age, I would have done exactly what you did. We all want to know..... did you talk with the police, what did your husband do/say? I don't care what country I am in - no one touches me without there being a scene! Thanks for sharing your story, you are doing a good thing by sharing. Do something nice for yourself. Big hug.

[@OuiInFrance]

Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from w/the video and watching. I know there was a lot of context but I thought it was important. I was so shocked in the moment that my mind went blank and I couldn't think clearly. I just kept thinking don't act aggressively back and deescalate. Do what he says. Now without he grief cloud, I'd do what you said. I was so emotionally spent after that I didn't file a complaint or anything. I probably should have. Tom was livid and assured me none of that was normal. I actually had to film the video twice because I messed something up the first time and forgot to mention at one point when they threatened to call the police, they both left and locked the door leaving me in the room. At the time I couldn't think clearly enough to have said, "Go call the police! Tell them you threatened a woman, stole her electronics, dragged her to a locked room and see who they have a problem with!" I would have said so much more today if I could redo it.

[@femalism1715]

Wow! What a horrible experience! It is no wonder you are experiencing post-traumatic stress response to such EXTREME bullying and violent and intimidating boundary violation. Diane, you are so right! We must trust our instincts. It is all about survival and protection!

[@OuiInFrance]

I'm OK now :-) Thank you

[@yolandamondragon341]

What a scary situation! I'm so sorry it happened to you, but I am glad you got your device and memory card back.

[@chrisstone9200]

With the Gisele Pelicot trial, we can see the lack of respect that men in France have for women. Be careful. I believe that our bodies are finely-tuned to notify us of potential danger and I agree with you that we need to listen to them. I’ve had several times in my life when I got a bad feeling about someone so I avoided them. People around me in very respectable businesses, hospitals, etc. said how wonderful these individuals were and told me to ignore my initial reactions. Later, it turned out that my premonitions were correct.

[@rosiebowers1671]

I can assure you that rape and lack of respect for women are, sadly, very much not exclusive to France.

[@DianeJarest-z6d]

First of all I am really sorry that this happened to you. It must have been terrifying for you. I am glad that you got your device back, and that it eventually ended without the police getting involved. Secondly, I now live in France, and have seen people in the market I patronize using their cell phones all the time to photograph things. A friend of mine from the US had asked me to send her photos of the rows and rows of cookies, produce etc. (this is a huge market) and I have been reluctant to do so. After seeing your video, there is no way I'm going to do that. I don't want to be broadsided like you were. Thirdly, regarding filming from your house or car, is just fine with me. Your videos are informative, interesting, and very well done. I enjoy them very much. Keep doing what you're doing.

[@luluandmeow]

French people are absolutely right, you ask before you take photos or videos of anything connected with them, merchandise, market stall, logo, advertising, artwork, you have no right to do so without their permission just because it's become common for people to do so on their phone. As an artist living in the UK, it is extremely upsetting when people photograph my art or my person. I've had big companies donating £5-£20 towards my charity exhibition and wanting to take a photo of me for their customer newsletter, which I found disgusting to be honest. I am very private (I even exhibit anonymously) and I wish I'd said no, one of these supermarkets was Tesco, they deserve to be named and shamed for their meanness as they were clearly using me for PR. I've also had people who were clearly designers visiting my exhibitions and taking lots of photos of my art, they did ask and of course I said yes but it left me wondering if they would make minor tweaks and pass it off as theirs. Of course you can't be overly worried about privacy or copyright infringement or you would never put anything out there, but still, it's very upsetting when strangers infringe your privacy without asking. I'm also a writer and I've had whole articles paraphrased and published by another (charitable!) organisation working in the same field as me, this was years ago well before AI, etc. It's a matter of politeness and decency to ask, just because you're in public it doesn't entitle anyone to film or photograph someone or their goods. If you ask politely you will probably not be refused and the person might even be flattered.

[@OuiInFrance]

Sure and I get that. There's a respectful and non-confrontational way to speak to someone and handle the situation.

[@yogisurfrunner1925]

Diane!!!! We moved here in Avril and have been mainlining your channel for several yrs…I’ll say this interaction was awful, intimidating and physical and also the exception but culturally - while we have been trying to buy a house over the last 4 mos we have experienced the same attitude several times. We have muscled through but its VERY interesting how folks’ tone changed when we got wise and took representation at the embassy to run interference with the ‘professionals’ we were dealing with; they now seem to realize we have rights, we understood them, and we have been informed about them - instead of them always trying to push us to ‘hurry up and do the deal - do it with our people’ etc. Thank you for always sharing your content across the variety of spectrums - there are bad and good people everwhere and nowhere is Utopia!

[@merci322]

Even if some time has gone by, I would still call the police and have them take down what happened to you, even if you are not actively pressing charges. Then the record will be there if there is ever a woman or human being in a similar situation. We need to take care of our community by making sure this kind of behavior is documented. I regret every day that I did not charge people who overstepped their boundaries. It did not help them to grow as a person for the other party to allow evil to slide. Best wishes.

[@chestnut27860]

Hi Diane, I've enjoyed your channel for some time now. Thank you for bringing the perspective you do to live in France! Your content is so useful and real! I have only been a visitor to France, but I usually stay 6 weeks or so at a time and have French friends, so my French skills are usually pretty good, with the exception of two circumstances: when I'm highly emotional or want to express my outrage at something. In these cases my English-speaking brain takes over and I have trouble talking. Boy, this experience would tick all those boxes! I'm impressed that you were able to keep communicating with this creep. As an American, sitting comfortably at home watching this without all the emotions you were going through, one of my first thoughts was to ASK for the police. In the U.S. this would be assault! I haven't had much experience with the French police, but do you think they would have helped you or escalated the situation? I understand the embarrassment, especially when you were on the store floor, but once you were in that dark room, why didn't you ask for the police? Also, once this was over, why didn't you report this guy? What did your husband think?

[@OuiInFrance]

Hi, I'm getting this q a lot so let me paste my reply to someone else here to hopefully give more insight: Hindsight is 20/20 right. It's hard to explain why I didn't call the police and I was actually scared to post this because of being judged. But you never know how you'll react in a situation until you're in it. I'm over this now. I've had 3 years to process it and it's all water under the bridge. But to try to explain, at that time, the grief was so overwhelming and I was basically doing the bare minimum and just getting through the day. A close family member had died just before my mom. Then my beloved dog Dagny went into heart failure a week after my mom died (and died shortly thereafter) and it was the worst time of my life. I can't stress that enough what kind of mental state I was in. Then to have this traumatic experience come out of nowhere just shook me even more. I was embarrassed that I "let" this happen and mad that I didn't run out of the store or stand up for myself. In the moment, they made me feel like a criminal and were threatening me so when they said they would call the police, I was scared and embarrassed to have had this situation escalate. I wasn't thinking clearly enough to say, "Go ahead! You took me down here, locked the door, are threatening me and took my electronics! They'll be on my side!" I wish I had said that. And they probably DIDN'T call the police because that very thought occurred to them. I was furious the guys treated me that way. I was embarrassed how it escalated and emotionally empty. I wasn't sure what rights I had. I know I didn't have any proof. I didn't have the strength or energy to find out either. And then to make a report, to retell the story, to go head to head with someone who would invalidate my side of the story. It was all too much. I of course told Tom who was heartbroken for me seeing the state I was in when I came home. He was extremely angry. Anyway, I focused on healing and just moving forward. Should I have pressed charges or at least filed a complaint? Maybe. Would I if it happened today. 100%. I hope that makes sense. ;-)

[@roxannewolf7130]

Diane, nobody, but nobody knows how they would react when being caught off guard like this! Please don’t take offense at anybody’s questioning. They just have no idea how they would’ve reacted in your state of mind! And, I am so sorry about your mother‘s passing, I know how very very traumatizing that in itself is! 😢

[@roxannewolf7130]

I feel slightly traumatized, just listening to your story! Just horrific! So very sorry for you!❤

[@PinkieSmith]

@@OuiInFranceI appreciate the background. I totally get it. When you’re grieving, it’s extremely difficult to function. And, the closer you were to the person you lost, the more difficult it is. It’s like you’re on autopilot, just going through the motions of day to day living, in a state of mental exhaustion and numbness. Not actively thinking. Not actively processing anything. No bandwidth to deal with extra “stuff”. You handled the situation in the way you needed to, at that time. Condolences on all the losses you had in such a short time. 😔

[@marilynbara6330]

Thank you. Excellent video, so sorry you had to through this - Awful!! Glad you’re ok, glad you’re talking about it and giving us such valuable wisdom and guidance. Thank you!

[@westernnut8407]

First, I'm sorry this happened to you at a time when you were grieving and vulnerable. You very likely would have responded differently at another time. It sounds like these two guys thought THEY were the tough guys in a casino movie. The things he said to you and his over-the-top aggression set off some organized crime alarms for me. Everyone already knows this, but it's a good reminder to NEVER let someone take you to another location. Women have saved their lives by making a scene and being rude.

[@cindydain5801]

Wow! I am so sorry this happened to you Diane. You are a very strong and positive woman, who handled the situation well.

[@OuiInFrance]

Thank you but I blew it. I did the best I could at the time but I was weak, vulnerable and not in the right state of mind. It wouldn't happen the same way today. I appreciate your kindness.

[@zazubombay]

@@OuiInFrance You didn't blow it, Diane, you were assaulted! You handled it well. He didn't get your phone. You got out safely. It's always easy to react in hindsight but it is very different in the moment.

[@charmainelawrence9580]

I’m so sorry that this happened to you Diane. Yes, we should always listen to our gut instinct. I felt your emotion when you were talking about your Mom. I lost my Mom in February 2021. I miss her so much every single day! Sending you love and hugs. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOUR CHANNEL! Susan😊

[@nancybenoit2845]

I'm so sorry you went through this! How horrible! A friend of mine had her memory card taken away at Maison Objet in Paris because she was filming. Such a scary situation.

[@OuiInFrance]

Ugh, I hope she got it back

[@susanq8925]

I had an experience in a supermarket in Ségonzac a few years ago that started as yours did. I was taking photos of the vegetable displays with a tiny camera, sound off, no flash. A man came out from the back, said hello and asked why I was photographing the veg. I said hello back and we ended up having a calm, polite and respectful conversation in French. I explained that I wrote a blog about France and my desire to move there one day. I told him that many of my American readers doubted the quality of the markets and whether the selection of goods was as I had described. His produce was so impressive I wanted a few photos so they could see for themselves (I genuinely meant it, too). He said I should have asked first but in this instance it was OK. I apologized, telling him I didn’t know to ask but would from now on. I was so embarrassed. I thanked him and asked if he would allow a few photos of other areas, especially the aisle of chocolate because it was the longest one I’d ever seen. (I genuinely meant that, too! He laughed.) I let him know I wasn’t photographing people, only things for sale, and I got his OK. I got some great photos, bought a lot of chocolate and thanked him again before leaving. It went as it should have gone. That your encounter went so disastrously wrong leaves me appalled. Emotional trauma like that isn’t something one forgets and I am so sorry it happened to you.

[@deniseingram6497]

Just want to suggest that his sudden shift in his treatment of you wasn't about him thinking of what you could do FOR him. I think he might have been worried about what you could do TO him and his business. He feared he might get some negative press. He knew he was way out of line. I'm sorry you had to go through this! And I can't imagine how something like this would NOT scar you. It would scar anyone, I think. When my husband and I visited Paris in 2000, a French police officer told me to put my camera away. I did put it away. But I never understood why he wanted me to put it away. And he wouldn't say.

[@OuiInFrance]

You are 100% correct and it didn't even occur to me until literally the last comment I replied to that that's the case. He didn't call the police because he had threatened a woman, aggressively put his hands on her, locked her in a room and taken her electronics! All for what, filming some cookies?? The police I hope would have sided w/me. I updated my pinned comment to explain why I didn't file a complaint or go to the police.

[@dominiquecapelle4888]

C’est normal que vous soyez choquée, vous avez vraiment fait une mauvaise rencontre, allez raconter ça à la police s’il vous plait , pour vous, et pour les autres qu’il doit terroriser !j’adore ce que vous faites, merci pour tout Diane

[@sandrad3346]

I have worked retail when I was younger and I know about plain-clothes security walking around the store. I have been followed around at stores in France and in one instance was waiting for a friend in a Monoprix store and was approached by a big, burly man who asked what I was doing there. I told him that I was waiting for a friend; he asked me where I was from and I told him I was visiting from the US. He then abruptly changed his tone and was really nice to me. I wasn't afraid, but I was surprised at the vigilance of the store security.

[@scottscottsdale7868]

I believe thieves are a huge problem. Glad it worked out for you.

[@roxannewolf7130]

I don’t care what anybody says, this behavior of the manager was way way out of line and very abusive! Yes, as you said, you probably should’ve gotten permission, but there is absolutely no justification for his behavior! He simply was a “madman”! And, anyone who tries to justify his behavior, has something wrong with them also!

[@OuiInFrance]

I don't think anyone (even him) could justify his behavior! Appalling is what it was.

[@sombrelumiere]

GOODNESS! That is awful! I'm so sorry that happened to you! Glad you made it out there physically unharmed and with the memories of your mom not destroyed. I hope you were able to let some of this weight off of your shoulders by talking about it.

[@hollycroft1931]

Gosh, I wish you’d called his bluff when he said he wanted to call the police. You should have said “absolutely, let’s do that immediately.”

[@OuiInFrance]

For sure!

[@lindseymcmahon4774]

I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. 😢 That is terrifying. If I lived in your area, the protective side of me would want to tell him what a ______ he is, and boycott that store. I am so thankful that he did not manage to ruin the videos of your Mom. Take care.

[@CathyDahut]

SO SORRY THAT YOU WERE PUT THROUGH THIS!!!! THANK GOD NOTHING WORSE HAPPENED TO YOU!!!!! A VERY HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR TO YOU and YOURS!!!!!

[@sherij7330]

Diane, I'm so sorry you went through that! Especially during that time in your life. I'm glad that everything turned out okay and you didn't lose your precious memories:) May those two guys find the karma that they deserve....

[@debrasams2362]

I learned to ask to take photos or pet an animal watching others and seeing people get upset. There is no reason to be rude, absolutely none.No one should touch you without permission. He was too aggressive and threatening it seems. That's not ok anywhere. Pretty scary. So sorry. So uncomfortable. Things happen everywhere. We just need to keep an awareness about us. Thanks for the lesson to be aware of instincts.😊

[@agyos]

How terribly devastating! I don’t know what I would have done, I certainly would not have been able to think straight! But, in hindsight, I think I would advise myself, for any possible future occurrence, NEVER to go into a dark room with a strange person, and to say at the beginning, that they should just call the police, and get it straightened out immediately. Your lesson is heard! Thank you very much for sharing!!!! I am so glad the outcome was not worse!!!!

[@lilly6766]

I am so sorry! ❤❤❤

[@aprils.]

You’re brave to share something so traumatic and personal with us. It is deeply troubling to hear that this happened to you, especially because you seem like such a friendly and respectful person. Your usual content always brings a bit of joy to my day, and although we don’t know each other, this makes me feel like a friend has been mistreated. I’m glad you are safe now!

[@OuiInFrance]

Thank you. ;-) I hesitated before publishing this but decided that the lesson was worth the judgment, blame, and critique I know I'd get. I appreciate you and it makes me so happy that my content resonates w/you. That's all any YTer could want. Thank you again for your kindness.

[@traceyseaman2180]

So horrible. I’m sure if you weren’t grieving your mother you would’ve had the wherewithal to ask somebody to call the police on your behalf while still in the grocery aisle. You are kind and congenial. I’m sure I’m not the only person who wishes I knew what store you were in (so no one would ever go there)! The best take-away is for anyone anywhere to always ask if it’s OK to take a photo or video.

[@OuiInFrance]

I walk up to trees in the park now to ask if I can take their picture before doing so!! Ducks as well. Just kidding (kinda)

[@diamond43-oz9ud]

I am so sorry this happened to you. I’m a Mexican American who has French ancestry from Texas and have loved your show for years. It really made me so angry that those “viejos feos” (mean and ugly men in Spanish) treated you this way especially when they confiscated your stuff and insulted your Mom. I agree with another person that they were total cowards to bully you this way. I also don’t blame you for not wanting to return to that store or even want to feature them in your videos. They don’t deserve a nanosecond of your time and attention. I always believe that what goes around comes around and they will get theirs if it hasn’t happened yet. I do wish you and family a happy and blessed New Year. ¡Feliz Año Nuevo 2025! Happy New Year 2025 ♥️

[@julied3588]

I’m so sorry you experienced the worst of male behaviour. Bullies that’s all they are. Misogynist bullies. My heart goes out to you!

[@MoSkent1]

?!? But what is this CRAZY story?!? Never in my life have I heard of such a scandalous situation. First of all, the owners or store managers have absolutely NO right to question you like that, to steal your devices and even least of keeping you looked up in their premises without the presence of the Gendarmes or the Police. What a shame and what an awfull situation ! I don't understand why you didn't file a complaint immediately. Because such acts could have taken these two men to court, and you could have asked for the damage suffered. (Imagine if they had destroyed the card with the last souvenirs of your poor Mom ?!?) Diane your story is truly stupendous and I still can't believe it ! This is not about revenge but about human dignity. The behavior and actions of these guys towards you are not only despicable but they're a matter of the laws, your freedom and Justice....

[@triciahowley824]

You’re very brave and strong to tell your story!! Appreciate your content, thank you 😊 ❤

[@patriciateague8677]

Wow. I think I would have preferred they call the police. Would certainly have gone to the police after the fact. He shouldn't get away with that kind of treatment of anyone. So sorry you had that experience and I can see how traumatizing it would have been. I also understand how none of us really knows how we'd respond in the moment. I do appreciate your sharing the story because sometimes hearing a story like this may give someone a better chance of handling something similar if needed in the future.

[@primordialmeow7249]

Tres tres horrible for you. In my life, it has been the sudden, violent actions or outbursts from others that have traumatized me the most. I try to heal, yet remain vigilant. Take care and love your channel.

[@bjjack5760]

thank you for this lesson learned Diane. Take care of yourself and happy holidays

[@dbarbera66]

I'm so sorry this happened to you! Something similar happened to me when I was a college student (many years ago) in photography class. I was shooting some film in a grocery store and a store manager demanded that I hand over my film, thinking I was a corporate spy. I had taken many shots that day and only a couple in the store. Like you I was scared and confused, so I handed the film over. It was an awful experience.

[@kathleenblaes-garcia3024]

Oh Wow! I'm so sorry this happened to you. VERY SCARY!

[@aquilestadeumartineli7592]

That's outrageous. So sorry for you.

[@Allyballybean]

An illustration of why in civilised societies we learn to avoid that kind of aggression. It sounds like you were being adult and assertive but he was responding all the time aggressively. I know that I would have been traumatised and very dispirited by the situation. Imagine if you were a less confident person-it could have had permanent and serious consequences. Well done you, being able to share it.

[@buffytargaryan7171]

As Oprah always said, “Never go to the second location”. Go back out and film, this guy has major issues, but next time, have them call the police before going anywhere with anyone, don’t worry about other people in the store,you’re safety is the most important❤, safety in numbers! Thank you for sharing this with everyone, excellent reminder ❤

[@renee2712]

I am so sorry this happened. We never know how will we react in a situation like that until we are in it so do not feel bad about your reaction. I would be traumatized and probably completely shut down. 😢

[@jen43072]

I count assault, harassment, false imprisonment, theft of property... I mean, these would carry fines and jail time, even in France, I would imagine. I totally understand why you didn't press charges at that time in your life, though. Thanks for the reminder to be careful -- and choose the bear!!!

[@jenniferherman8807]

I’m so sorry this happened to you! Your reminder is important.

[@msunshine4412]

Oh, Diane! I'm so sorry and angered by that creep's abuse of you. Obviously, you are still traumatized by that experience, I could hear it in your voice as you narrated. As women, we are taught to be nice, to not make others angry, to not make any waves. It works against us. Our best defense, many times, can be to raise our voice and yell for help. But, we are taught to not to attract attention. Again, I'm sorry this happened to you. Was the guy even French? Such a terrible experience! A man abusing a woman, a bully. I better stop writing, because I am just getting angrier. Peace to you. I hope you find ways to feel safe again. His/their actions have made you fearful and robbed you of your liberty in more ways than one. No one deserves that. You are a precious, generous, honest person and I love to watch your channel. Thank you for sharing. Sending you a big {{hug}}.

[@kestrelhawkins8728]

Wow, that's scary! I haven't had something like that happen personally, but I definitely identify with the idea that there is so much more pressure on us as women to be polite, and it can lead to unsafe situations at times.

[@frankd2301]

In your shoes, when they suggested to call the police, I would have said yes!

[@OuiInFrance]

I get that. Comments like these are why I waited 3 years to even tell the story because people are going to judge and misunderstand. I felt my context was relevant. This reel maybe explains my point of view: instagram.com/p/DD3GFtAysaF/?hl=en

[@JamesHazlerig]

This is awful. I fully understand how it happened, and I can't fault you for how you handled it, even if I like to imagine I would handle it differently. My first thought watching it was to demand that they call the cops. But even in the US, you never know which cops are corrupt. There's a decent chance that in a small town in France, the shop owner and the local gendarmes are drinking buddies, classmates, relatives. I imagine they're less likely to k1ll you than American cops, but it's always a toss-up as to whether calling the cops will help a situation. You were smart to play him when he changed his tune. Personally, I would have taken a lot of footage for a "collaboration" and then named and shamed him--but I understand your decision not to. Honestly, if something like this happened to my wife, I would have a hard time not arranging to meet that shop owner in a dark alley that only one of us would walk out of. Just hearing your account makes me furious.

[@martina5296]

I'm so sorry you went through that. I can tell you are still traumatized. Be safe and so glad you have those pictures of your family and your Mom. Stay safe everyone. Not all countries or anywhere are 100% safe and even someone who looks "safe" might not be. Can't even trust kids or women anymore, sadly. There is evil everywhere. Better to be safe then in a bad situation. Makes me want to get an air tag to hide in my shoe so even if I'm out and no one knows where I can be tracked. With a note on my computer or somewhere.

[@tlotus3032]

So sorry that happened to you😢❤It is a reminder that narcissists and scammers are everywhere and it’s great advice to listen to our instincts and intuition! I hope your husband had your back.

[@OuiInFrance]

Tom is the most supportive person ever

[@tlotus3032]

@ That’s good to hear. Take good care. What they did to you was false imprisonment. I’m sure they have a similar charge in France.

[@Martine-xs5zd]

My message was delated because I said her husband should have gone to the store to talk to the guy !!! I feel really sorry with what happened to Diane and it’s a shame . Unfortunately I think it’s too late to go to the police now.

[@lisaowens9359]

If he was so worried that you were working for a competitor tells me that he probably price gouges folks. I know, here in America that folks are often very loyal to stores that they shop at. Props to you for showing class for not putting him and his stores on blast.

[@tamaradabney8699]

Sounds like the kind of man that would hang out with Dominique Pelicot! Horrible! Glad you got out of there with your things. And I'm so sorry you went through all that loss.

[@JamesYelverton]

The instant he took the phone you should have demanded that the police respond, that bull would have crapped his pants. Your right a shop lifter in France would not have had his personal items taken or be detained. If you don't like what Im doing ask me politely to stop, or call the police !! I hope you filed a police report? The store has security cams that I'm sure caught the whole interaction.

[@CorineGantz]

I am sorry that you suffered such incredible abuse. Heart-breaking.

[@OuiInFrance]

Thank you, but it could have been so much worse

[@jeannamcgregor9967]

Calling the police seems like it would have been the best possible option...never had anything remotely this scary happen in France. Many delightful experiences instead.

[@dudehere1981]

Omg I thought they were going to destroy her memory card with her mama on them! I was worried. Diane seems so wholesome and I love that about her. ❤

[@jd3422]

My heart goes out to you, Diane, for having gone through that experience. As for your comment at the very end - the reminder about not being rude, hateful, or critical - I watch just about all of your videos, but I do not generally look through the comments below them. Are people really rude, hateful, and critical to you? I can't imagine why. That's not right.

[@OuiInFrance]

Sadly, yes. It comes w/the territory of putting yourself out there online. People act like fools toward me, toward each other, etc. Check out this community post I made: kzbin.infoUgkxv2SIJJML16T6m6qoNosITTf4Y-86ma3_

[@MorningSong8]

That situation would have ended very differently here in America. 🤜

[@j.b.6709]

I'm so sorry that happened to you and I hope you know you did nothing wrong. That situation was all on him, full stop. .

[@WavyCurlyGina]

How scary, I'm so so sorry that happened 😞

[@lindac3395]

THAT was horrific! I truly believe there has been an abundance of terrible encounters these last five maybe more years WORLDWIDE ! I’ve been to many parts of France, Germany, Italy, even the UK; basically people all have the same needs and concerns and are decent. However, you can easily run into one angry idiot who wants to prove the saying “misery loves company “ correct. Am glad you recovered from this terrible incident!!! Thanks for sharing, May you and all of your loved ones have a safe , healthy and prosperous 2025! 🎉🇺🇸

[@johnmadox]

Hi, french guy here ... I'm so sorry for you but this owner have absolutly no rights to restrein you and deserve to lose his job ! When he realize that you tell him the truth he realize that it could be really worst for him 'cause, by the law, he cross the line multiple times ... He have absolutly no reason to treat you like that ! This guy is just an idiot and a coward ! In french we said " la vengeance est un plat qui se mange froid " so tell the name of the store and his location , the guy is not going to lose his job but someone higher is going to tell him what real life is ... En France, nul n'est censé ignorer la loi ! Happy new year, wish you the best here ! ... Don't forget Idiots are everywhere !