OUR CHILD-FREE LIFE: But This Wasn't Our Plan

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

It’s taken us a couple of days to read through all the responses to our latest podcast, and we’re truly touched by how much this topic resonated. Thank you for the heartfelt comments and for sharing your own stories about choosing to have, or not have, children. We want to emphasize that we’re sharing this conversation now because we feel genuinely happy and fulfilled, with or without children, and the relationship we’ve built over the years is stronger than ever. Life is always evolving, and while this path wasn’t always what we envisioned, it’s one we’ve chosen with intention and care, and it feels right for us now. Who knows what the future holds? Thank you for being part of this open conversation-it means a lot to have this space to connect with all of you.

[@peacehappiness3069]

Flora, you seem so lovely and I think you would make the most amazing mum. Children really don’t restrict your freedoms. They open your mind and heart in ways you never thought possible. I’ve travelled before and after kids and for me it’s so much more exciting and fulfilling with children.

[@jenniferyan5556]

I had the same thought as Note. Travelling and freedom are my priority . After years of travelling , I got tired of travelling . Then I decided to settle down in one place .By the time I'm ready , it was not fruitful. getting conceive is never easy . Finally ,I op for adoption . This is my best decision . Now I'm filled with joy. My daughter is my best friend ,travelling , shopping partner . She's my best supporter ❤.

[@Mizz.Cherry]

I was exactly like you unfortunately it is not easy to adopt legally where I am

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s inspiring to hear how your journey led you to such a fulfilling bond with your daughter.

[@SS-ni3pz]

I used to think that having kids wasn't for me, but now that I have one, it's truly the best thing that ever happened to us. Becoming parents has completely transformed our outlook on life in ways we never expected. I hope you guys make the decision soon. It's an experience that’s so rewarding, and there’s nothing quite like it.

[@JaneMano-z7z]

That was so painful even for me- the stranger to hear how is Flora struggling and telling how she wants to be a mother. In fact, being 40 yo grownup man, being married for so many years, and yet telling I don’t want children- this is not normal for a real man. It shows he doesn’t want to take responsibility. At 40. Having a baby and being a mother is a true blessing and every woman deserves it. Also, every woman deserves more mature man who is ready to take a responsibility.

[@ntauzaug9595]

My wife works at a senior living facility and every day she came home and she talked about people who have kids and grandkids who came to visit them and the residents who have no kids and no one came to visit them. Worst they have to leave the facility and they have no one to check on them at home. I have 5 beautiful grandkids and they are at my house every day and it's a blessing. It would be better for you both to have kids before you turn 40 while you still have strength and high energy . Note watching your wife giving birth is the most treasurable event that you will love your wife more.

[@susam4991]

I'm getting emotional watching this. I just want Yourl to be happy together with or without Children. Love You both

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you and we are happy either way 😊 We’ll see what the future holds for us.

[@carlopanoet2718]

​@@OTR_FloraandNote as you said. We evolve, what we wanted in our 20th may not be the same as what we want in our 30th or 40th.

[@user-kh3mo9sk2f]

You felt having children is big thing because you don't have now. Brining a life to the world is a huge responsibility. They are not a toy you to enjoy

[@tcohelen]

Thank you Flora for sharing your feelings and vulnerability! I myself are going though this same journey with my husband. You are not alone. Whatever decision we make we should not regret. There is no right or wrong. Life is too short.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

You’re absolutely right-there’s no right or wrong, and we should embrace our decisions without regret. Just make sure to have open and honest conversations with each other, the earlier the better.

[@carplay2804]

Clearly the reason of Note not wanting to have kids is not just limited to freedom. He mentioned he was adopted and I could be wrong but it could be related to his childhood. I have a friend who comes from a big family, 6-7 siblings and he also decided not to have a family/kids. Because he grew up with no parental attention (i.e emotional neglect) due to too many kids and tough life and he feels that somehow he won’t be able to be a good parent either (self esteem issues). So in his mind it’s better to not have kids if you can’t take care of them properly. So clearly Note is dealing with his own challenges but if you really love Flora you should work on your issues and potentially heal from them and gift Flora the gift of motherhood that she wishes for. I think she would be a wonderful mommy. ❤

[@bliu4266]

I think having a child could probably be the most exciting travel/adventure you could have. But it likely requires that perspective before taking it on. I’m sure when you went to China for the first time, you have to mentally prepare yourself for a good time! On a somewhat related note, end of life people usually say they regret the opportunities not taken. Regardless of what decisions you or I make, I always find this incredibly insightful. Thank you both for your videos and vulnerability. ❤

[@shanezimmermann1091]

Relationships are tough. God Bless you both for your honesty and the courage to post this. May your relationship go from strength to strength ❤

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you 😊

[@GrowRichWithDee-ry7ez]

Wow, this is such a honest and brutal conversation. Props for sharing this with the world. I guarantee that you aren't the only couple going through these thoughts. Hopefully by sharing your story, you can bring clarity to others.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

That's our hope as well 😊 Not that there are right or wrong decisions, but to be open to talk about it openly with your partner is what's important.

[@0209MusicLover]

Thank you so much for sharing your struggles. I am very moved by both of your authenticity and sincerity to share your life with your viewers from around the world. Hugs to the both of you. Sending you both love ❤️ from Singapore 🇸🇬!

[@Jamie-nz4xz]

Awww, thank you for sharing something so personal. I felt so emotional for Flora, as motherhood is such a blessed experience and knowing she’s always wanted to be a mom, I think it will always be on her mind. I feel like Flora is trying to fill that void by saying she has love elsewhere to share but you can have a child and still be passionate and share too. I hope Note can overcome and sacrifice for Flora. Through all the challenging moments, you will never regret having a child. There’s no perfect financial situation or time to have a child, just a little more risks after age 35 for females. Myself and my friends had kids in our late 30s…naturally and through ivf.

[@alwaysaik]

really valued the open and honest conversation Note and Flora. I could 100% relate to Note's reasonings, I value my freedom above anything else and I would end up resenting giving that up. I think there will be some regret no matter which pathway you both choose - no path is better than the other - just different. Really enjoying the video podcast x

[@RalfWeyer]

Flora and Note, I have basically stumbled across your channel just a few weeks ago and have been following you and watched a lot of your videos since that time. From a guy of 56 years that never had the luck of finding real love, first and foremost be happy to have each other and supporting each other. Life isn’t always easy and straightforward, in fact most of the time it’s quite the opposite. And don’t let anyone else tell you what is right and what you have to do. It’s your life and only you two can make the decision what is right for you! It’s not anyone else’s call.

[@whachuupto]

I love this message. That kind of partnership is a gift that we shouldn't take for granted. And only the two people in the relationship know what's best for their own journey ❤

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful words! We truly cherish our relationship and all the support we give each other.

[@Nitez33]

It is refreshing to see the genuine interaction you have with one another. Thanks for sharing such honest thoughts. About halfway through the video, with the vibe that emanated throughout the conversation, I decided to be a new subscriber to your newly created channel. May it continue to grow! ❤

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you. We're happy to have you here 🙏

[@rosemaryrobson8526]

I Have two amazing grownup sons which I brought up.and educated myself as their father deserted us at 3 and1 year old.in South Africa.I paid for private schools and university and today they are wonderful men and I am truly Blessed . They in turn do not want children at all and I respect that but I can understand as the sacrifices I made for them they feel very sad about how hard a life I had working until I was 79 and I am now a young at heart 84 year old❤❤❤I have no regrets and I would not change anything other than perhaps having more personal financial security. My sons are both very well off financially very secure and love and spoil me to bits 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻My advice to you two lovely people is do not allow other people to interfere in your decisions - love each other and respect each other and the rest will fall into place ❤I love both your channels and watch and enjoy each episode🙏🏻❤️❤️👏👏🌈🌹😘

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

You are amazing, and I’m so grateful to have you as part of our community! Thank you for sharing your story with us.

[@vannytan8364]

I have been following your channel for 3 years, you guys make quality videos! It is great to live without a children, you are not missing out on anything, you gain a lot with this child-free life!

[@xianx1866]

Long time fan from their travel channel. Here is what I think. I can tell Flora really wants a kid but at the same time trying to accommodate Note for the freedom of child free. A senior coworker once told me that he regret not having kids at his time. It’s too late to say Note should have told Flora before any commitment but it is not too late to make the decision/agreement between them right now while they can still decide. ❤

[@splendidsnapshot9915]

I am a husband and can definitively share that usually, the main reason men do NOT want to have kids are simply selfishness. It is definitely not the wife (Flora). We (I and my wife) got married late due to a series of unfortunate past-relationships as well as my own selfishness in my younger years. My wife gave birth when she was 35 and I was a few years older. I can see that Flora is very mature and Note is not, I'm sorry to say. I hope he does some self-reflection. Kids will also force him to learn to be mature as well, but may be this is something that he is not willing to do at the moment. With that said, the phrase "opposites attract" are also true. I can still see that Flora though getting old, is not giving up the hope. You can adopt and at the same time have your own kids. I am asking Note: "If he really love Flora, why is he not willing to give up his freedom for Flora wishes". Have you ever heard the word "Agape (love)"? I am saying all these not to condemn, but just try to be honest. Hopefully I am not offending Note. Our approach of life is based on biblical perspective. At the end "love" is easier said than done.

[@libbylizzy]

with or without a child, you guys can be just as happy. love all your content creations. sending warm wishes your way. ❤️

[@karlyap3011]

Thank you for your difficult and honest discussion.

[@cashmerehazel21]

I can guarantee there are billions who wish they are child-free!!

[@fearless7070]

Thanks for being open and sharing this very personal topic with us. I think what is really great is the understanding and love between you both and that is probably more important than anything else, even having or not having kids. ❤

[@lmnandthevlogsofperegrination]

"i think the hard part is when you keep thinking that you're missing out, what you don't have, is what brings you down. and once you flip that mindset and be like 'no i don't have that but i have this much of something else', and you focus on what you have then no matter what lifestyle you choose, what you do, you are able to find happiness and joy in it." wise words, i needed to hear that. you always hear some version of this but to see it in practice hits different. CHERISH HER, NOTE! and who knows if this decision is right or wrong, but luckily these are your lives and you can decide that it is right or make it right.

[@spirittaos]

You two are so honest. Good for you. I do agree with all that you've shared

[@stephanied.k.3589]

Sometimes, we carry our trauma around with us like a 2nd skin. Children are a heavy responsibility, but they can be a great joy. Get some counseling and make sure that your past trauma and lack is not overly impacting your decisions.

[@January14q]

❤️❤️If you are chosen to have a Baby you will not regret it. The older you get the more you appreciate your kids and grandchildren. They are blessings.

[@noshivore]

Wow, thank you for your vulnerability and willingness to share

[@jaiho9442]

It's not too late. My sister in law had a kid at 37. She said it's the best thing that happened to her. The child brought her so much joy. I have three, can't imagine life without them.

[@heatherbaldwin2099]

This was really sad. Note is extremely selfish. Particularly in the way he's denying Flora a child, seeing the pain it causes her, and then joking about what a great dad he would be. Flora is too kind to see how he's enjoying the power he has over her.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

I appreciate your concern, but I want to clarify that I’m not a powerless woman-I actively stand up for my values. I am part of the decision to live a child-free life too and right now, we are enjoying this stage in our lives that bring us a lot of meaning and making incredible memories.

[@heatherbaldwin2099]

@OTR_FloraandNote I don't think you're powerless. But think about how this man is treating you. He knows it's something you've always wanted. He sees how much you want it. He says it would be ok if it happened. Yet he still says no. He loves himself much more than he loves you. You're sacrificing a lot to be with him. I hope you don't regret it in the future.

[@barryharfenes7821]

I appreciate that you two are so open. It has taught me a lot and given me much to think about.

[@ceriosborne394]

Thank you so much for sharing such a personal story and being so open and honest. You two would make such beautiful, loving, fun parents. Imagine traveling and seeing the world through the eyes of a child. Yes, children are so much work but definitely a labour of love and the joy they bring to your heart is priceless. Either way and whatever you finally decide it will be your decision and the right one. ❤

[@amychan3400]

Thank you so much for sharing ! It was so insightful to hear how your thoughts and feelings have evolved over the years. My partner and I are also childfree and as we're approaching 2025 in a few months, we're saddened to still feel pressured by friends and family and by society. It's crazy to think in this day and age, it's still deemed appropriate to ask someone at a dinner party " when are you having kids". They don't even ask " do you want kids" because they think it's the traditional default option after marriage. When we say no, we get steered to explain and receive unsolicited advice that we will regret it and that we will change our minds. God forbid we ever say that to someone expecting a child or planning to start a family. We should all just be respectful for everyone's wishes and life choices and stop asking people what they plan on doing with their reproductive organs like it's a casual topic of discussion. In the end of the day, I guess us childfree couples have to accept we are the minorities but representation on social media matters 💗 You guys make such a great team and a family of two is a GREAT family! Sending love to you guys!

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you so much for sharing this! It’s always reassuring to connect with others who understand the unique pressures that come with this choice. Everyone’s path is so personal, and you’re right-respect and support should be the norm. Sending lots of love to you and your partner as well!

[@BWT599]

I wasn't a nice uncle to my nephews and niece, meaning I didn't know or really care about kids at all. I was into myself and doing what I wanted to do. That was my identity and in North America, your identity is what you tell people. When you're married and later have kids, your identity is interwoven into their timelines and narrative. It's been an incredible journey and I have grown in phases, to places I never thought I would feel or think I would be this person, father and husband. I got married at 37 and I'm now in my late 40s. It's not for everyone, and many of my friends never got married or had kids. I didn't do it for anyone, it just evolved to what it is now.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Appreciate your perspective!

[@TimesandGens]

Such honesty, Thank You! Both of you be yourself.

[@taceldi]

Thank you for sharing such an intimate conversation. When it comes to children, I feel as if I’m a mix of you two so it was like watching the two sides of my brain talk to each other. Wish you both happiness with whatever you decide ❤

[@leeleng1458]

Thanks for sharing and being so honest!

[@bluestarfishsea]

Everyone’s life is different, but we are here to experience joy. There is no one way. There is a maturity tho about giving up your needs to have a child. Possibly Some ppl become parents for the wrong reason, to fill a need/purpose. But there is a magic in becoming a parent, in that regardless of your intention…you completely change …your life perspective changes. You need so much less to be happy. You replace freedom + serving yourself… with connection + joy of seeing your child happy. You sacrifice your needs and then as your child ages, and you have more freedom again, you realize that you actually need a lot less to be happy. This is the gift! You get another chapter of life once your child is an adult but it is lived in total appreciation bc your expectations + needs are lower + your appreciation for new experiences (like travel) is so much deeper 💜

[@PADDYandHONG]

Thanks for the warm and authentic podcast that bring tears to my eyes on such a tough topic. And it is great that u guys mentioned about adopting coz it is a great alternative when one day u guys decide. It will be so lucky for any orphan to be adopted by you both. Much love.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Glad you enjoyed it! We do hourly consultations for KZbin but we don't currently have plans to create a course. Our friend Ken Abroad did make a very informative course recently so perhaps you can check it out: tinyurl.com/kenabroadcourse

[@swambomb5555]

Wow, this was incredibly vulnerable. Thank you so much for sharing. I've had partners let me know bc they new my #1 is being a dad. Even though they loved me, they knew I would walk away if they didn't want kids. Wow, just wow. I'm so grateful for such a raw, emotional discussion. I'm glad to hear that you guys are still enjoying each other nonetheless.

[@mienladycigot7]

My husband and I are going through the same thing situation. I am 36 and my husband is 39. We been married for 12 years. I always wanted kids and know I wanted kids. We didnt have the kid talk before we got married. My husband who is also Thai is like Note; he is afraid of losing freedom and wants to travel more. For me I have been waiting to have a child because I didnt feel that he will 100% physically and mentally support through it all. I also have my own time line and goals I wanted to accomplish before having kids. I learned there is no perfect timing to start a family.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

I totally get it! Wouldn't it be nice to have another 10 years to figure everything out?

[@scott.joshua]

I've been searching around for a KZbin channel that is actually genuine in 2024. It seems like everything on KZbin these days is just hyped up click bait with no substance and I can't stand it. Thanks for being authentic. You're one of the very few left...

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

We really appreciate you recognizing our authenticity 😊

[@mremboblog]

Just stumbled on this vlog and I am so hurt on her behalf. As a third party looking into what they are sharing, dude was straight out selfish and mean. He trapped her. She on the other hand should also have been clear about wanting babies. There are some dreams that cannot be differed, because time is an actual thing. His lying, because he did lie robbed her of the opportunity to make a true choice and that is the sad part. I wish them the best and hope she will be able to live with the grief of a lost dream. Mr Note...you did her dirty!!

[@JackdeRipskaya]

I also stumbled on this and felt bothered enough to comment. The issue isn't the child/child free life style debate. It's how they aren't truly honest with each other and themselves. Note's strategy is kicking the can down the road til Flora's biological clock runs out. It's dishonest and unfair to both of them.

[@CareerShorts1111]

Hey Flora & Note. My wife and I have been following you guys for the past 5 years and I always knew there was something similar about you guys to us. Every minute of this episode was exactly what my wife and I have gone through the past 6 years. We are both asian, from Toronto, dated when we were 20 and the same age as you both 😅. We know the emotions you both feel and just know you're not alone. Whatever you decide to choose you'll be happy either way. Most people on their death beds regret not travelling or fulfilling goals, not "not" having kids. You guys have lived the life that so many people envy while changing diapers. Flora said it perfectly at the end for her to focus on what she does have. My god if the 4 of us met we'd just look at each other and just "know" 😂😂. Stay strong 🫡💪

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you so much for sharing! It’s crazy how similar our journeys have been! We truly appreciate your support and understanding. Here’s to living life to the fullest, no matter the path we choose!

[@Mxm9966]

The best advice I got as a woman was that you can not be too considerate for others to the degree that you compromise your own goals. When we got our first child, my husband was very firm to not have a 2nd child. I had my 2nd anyway, and now after 12 years my husband said he can’t imagine life without our 2nd son.

[@franklinricafort1439]

It is the essence of being together… having a child is the most wonderful thing in the whole world… i know you will be good parents to your children… more power… God bless…

[@rachellevis9909]

Thank you for sharing and being honest

[@alexalder4443]

I wish I could LIKE this more than once! Thank you for your honesty and true conversation. We are also on the no kid life and loving it.

[@carlopanoet2718]

"I am.." (your answer to Note's question whether you are satisfied). For me the most telling sentence about you. It seems that you have found yourself within and become a stronger confident woman. It's the way you said it, determined and convincing.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

THANK YOU Carlo, for actively listening to me! I appreciate you for noticing I really am happy now.

[@sgraham005]

Very heartfelt. Yeah we think you guys, are awesome. You are a good team. Hoping for all the best for you two guys.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you ❤

[@LetsGoStellar]

Few things I learned in my life - - A person can always change his/her mind - I should be ok even if they don't Listening to your story reminded me of Esther and Jerry Hicks about having a cat. You'll come.across that story here on YT if you're meant to hear it :) Stay strong, Flora and Note! I appreciate you both!

[@kimnguy4537]

Hi Flora and Note. Love your raw and emotional discussion about this tough topic. You know what, do what's right for you know guys and don't let the social pressure get in way of your happiness. I don't understand how people have the right to tell you how to live your life . Maybe they're just jealous of your carefree lifestyle. Keep travelling and continue doing with what brings you happiness 😊

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you so much for your words of support and encouragement 🙏

[@The795pine]

I respect your choice either way. I just had my first child at 45 and you can definitely travel the world. I did when he was 6 months. Best thing ever

[@kerryjames8932]

Such an interesting open chat. I've travelled the world as an entertainer from a young age and choose not to have a child as it never fitted into my plan or lifestyle, I'm now 61 and I still don't regret this decision and I also don't feel I missed out. It was the right decision for me totally. ❤

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

We're happy for you!

[@wendyzzz3499]

One of the biggest reason for divorce is disagreement over children. You both should think it over while you have time. Women unfortunately have a biological clock

[@thecowegg]

true

[@caijbcybervsq3183]

hope one day I can watch the video that you travel with your kids 😊

[@FamilyofDreamers]

Quite the opposite problem here. I had two kids and now I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of them. JUST KIDDING! Try not to compare yourselves to others because it usually leads making decisions that aren't true to your heart. You guys just keep living your lives how you want and everything will fall in to place. Thanks for opening up and being so honest! ❤

[@matthiasgrove2694]

Thanks for this very personal topic. Met your channel through Paddy and I watch your channel sometimes. Just my observation is the love you have to share between you is so gorgeous. And @ Note you would be definitely be the coolest and greatest dad! So don’t be afraid to choose your life for what ever you are ready and what may ever get inbetween.

[@djsonnee]

as a parent to two, I can say I had the mentality like Note. When it comes down, you feel selfish and feel you cant give enough for a child or that you dont want to give it up. I was also late to have kids and i was Notes age when I had my 2nd. If you decide you want to have a child, its not too late for Note, as a father. Child brings different joys to your life. Traveling is a big harder but you can still do it. Mark Weins brings his son around

[@chuckles3218]

Hi guys, you guys are my fav and have been follwing you guys since a few years back. I just wanted to write in to tell you that you guys are very real and many times i feel like im travelling with you both. Ive travelled widely as well but am getting on with age and travel much less so im still travelling through you. You both put a smile on my face when i open my youtube and i see something new from you both. God Bless you both with whatever you both want.

[@hannahmorton9117]

I would love to hear more about your adoption story Note. I loved the video when you went to visit your pet elephant you had.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Pangwat is the sweetest elephant 😍 Quite a few of our subscribers sent us lovely messages after visiting her at the elephant sanctuary.

[@susam4991]

I Love Note And You so much. Loved this vlogg. Enjoy Life

[@musicman42896]

Exactly! There is no right or wrong path to take. Everyone is individual. Your travels open you up to so many other ways of loving. You may decide to adopt; you may see a need in some remote village & decide to stay to help; you may have your own child eventually. (Life DOES begin at 40, Note!) In any case, you will know what to do and when to do it. Let no one else dictate that. You are both so lucky to find another whom you love spending time with. Travel does get tiresome & we all long for something more permanent sometimes. I spent 30 years roaming the globe. Back in Canada and ready for another chapter! Keep enjoying your lives together & be open to whatever may happen. Few people get the chance you have. I enjoy every one of your videos! Stay happy & healthy!

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

What you said resonates with us so much. Thank you for sharing!

[@bishkahunter7197]

I had 3 kids with a 16 year gap btw eldest and youngest…….the last day of school for my youngest ….i drank champagne when I was making his lunch…it was a looooong haul…..and we - husband and I - are living on our own for the past 20 months with no kids but still with our furry babies who were the kids pets.lol…I don’t regret having kids but I’m glad now they’ve grown up and independent. It’s a big commitment both emotionally and financially and physically. Love your travel videos……cheers b x 🐨

[@HappyAdventurer]

Thank you for sharing quite a sensitive topic to strangers of the world. I'm in similar situation with my partner except we have regular full time jobs and only travel a few times a year. I love hearing stories like this because I think we need to remove the stigma with choosing to not have kids or delaying it. What helps me is spending time with my nephew and neices. The energy and chaos reconfirms there's no rush to have kids. After a full day I don't have any more love to give and happily go back to a quiet home to recharge 😅 I really respect what Note admitted at the start. While it might have been not the wisest thing to do at the time, but I think his heart was in the right place and it was not like he forced you to marry him haha I think if you weren't meant to be together then you probably wouldn't be together today.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

We completely agree that we need to normalize the choice to not have kids or to wait. We're glad to connect with others who share similar experiences 😊

[@ckrystal141]

This makes me so sad… glad yall can have these open conversations with each other. The initial deceit and back and forth with making comments that would lead one to believe Note was open to children, seems like a red flag but if it works for you both, then great! Everyone’s journey and relationships look different.

[@r91116]

Your husband should have been upfront and honest with you as clearly you said yourself that it would have changed your decision. I’m sorry that you now feel like you have to live with this decision because you don’t. You can still find someone who wants what you want and you don’t need to coerce them into it. As someone who has a child, it is a huge decision and very hard but it is also the biggest blessing in the world. Someone once told me to imagine my life 20 years from now and who I want to see sitting with me at the dinner table chit chatting about our days and my answer is my husband and children.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

20 years from now, I want to be sitting at the dinner table chit chatting with Note - that's why I am still here. We may have our biological child there, or adopted child or a cat.. but the two of us being there is the most important.

[@matthewtrearty2082]

I have a lot of respect for K Note to say this. He admits his fault and apologised. Yes he has led Flora a bit. I am a father and have given up a lot to be one. My wife wanted a child but I was not so excited for it. Now we have our 2 year old (I am also almost 40, Note... and my wife is 40; never too late) He is the most wonderful little guy and I love him more than anything. But it has been detrimental to my marriage, we have less time, less fun and feel less connected. We are still together and still love one another but a baby is difficult and if you are not committed then focus your energy on loving each other

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you for your honesty about the challenges of parenthood! It’s inspiring to hear how much love you have for your little one.

[@WanderlustReports]

Thank you for this testimony, very moving. The problem as I feel it listening to Note, is that he is afraid that having a child will annihilate his sacrosanct freedom to travel, to do what he wants for the rest of his life. But today, with the progress of medicine, you both still have at least 40 to 50 years of life ahead of you, including at least 30 in good health. This leaves you plenty of time to have and raise one or more children, and then be free again to do what you want, while having given Flora the possibility of being what she most deeply wants, to be a mother. As for adoption: I had 4 children, one of whom was adopted. For me there has never been any difference between my children, because I am a father, I am not the one who gave birth. Note, perhaps you should understand that for Flora, the perspective would be significantly different between having a baby and adopting a baby. Whatever you eventually choose, best of luck to both of you!

[@joesoo]

nothing wrong with not having children, at least you can truly live your life but having them is a joy too....my and my wife decided very late whether we wanna have kids, pretty much the same reason as you guys, and we are expecting our first child at 35/36 of age respectively. Saw a news in SG, a couple conceived at 51, so its never too late, who knows maybe later on the channel can grow into something like - hangry by nature, exploring the world with your child :)

[@dianev113]

I forget the issues and decisions young ones need to make as I am older now. I have 1 daughter that is 50 and have grand twins that are 18. The only thing I can say for sure is the world is very stressful and hard for children. You see the many good things in your travels as you should. Maybe look and listen to the young ones and see how life is treating them. If you choose to have children you will know what to truly expect their ‘world’ will be like. I hope only the best for both of you. Thank you for sharing. ❤️❤️🙏

[@river5613]

Married old because I prefer freedom. After 8 years of marriage and happily without kids, what a joy and blessing to have kids. They matured us and moved us on with greater purposes and a sense of what marriage is about. Children are the most precious gift to my marriage. At age 41, I had my firstborn. He is 18, and came 'the social butterfly', 16, oh boys, never a burden but joy, joy, joy!

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Appreciate you taking the time to share this with us!

[@MalinaCC]

Thank you for sharing this hard conversation. I did not have a close connection to my parents either, and all the generational trauma and fear made me not want to have kids for the first quarter of my life. I knew they loved me but that love always felt…shallow? Then I met my husband and his family and got to experience a COMPLETELY different type of love and incredible depth that I couldn’t have imagined if it wasn’t for him and the experiences we shared with family. It made me realize there was a lot more I had been missing out on that I wanted to uncover and change for myself. I did a lot of personal work, still healing, traveled a lot, and realized ultimately having a child is a part of life that I want to experience even though it scares me and even though it’s hard. Ive been taught to avoid hard things my whole life for fear of failure and getting hurt. But regardless, I’ve gone through incredible hardship, and done hard things on purpose and ultimately it’s made me stronger and/or my connection to my people stronger. It’s not an easy decision to have a kid. I don’t think it’s a path for everyone, and no one should be forced into it but instead actively, and and both happily choose it. Every person is entitled to their own choices and to chase what makes them happy. For me and my husband, having the chance create a being that is a blend of us, to build a family, give love to this new being, see the world from a different person’s point of view, and have our world completely change because of this individual is something that is important to us to experience in this lifetime. Often fear is the main reason why we don’t do things. A good couple of questions to “test” yourself if you are struggling to make a decision is, if things were to stay exactly as they are with your current situation, will you be satisfied with living exactly how things are? And if you knew you would succeed (or fail) at x, would you still want to do it? If it keeps coming up, it means it’s a deep desire at you should follow, but if it doesn’t come up, it likely doesn’t matter enough to you to want to do something about it.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

It sounds like you've found so much clarity and strength in making choices that align with your happiness, and we really appreciate your insights!

[@sonjadiwo4826]

I know you 2. And you have the best life I can imagine.you don't need kids.enjoy your life.not everyone needs kids Travel the world and love each other.i love to watch your movies and wish to be young again to do the same.i love you and I am honestly jelouse that I have not the same life what you have.hug Sonja from samui

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you for the words of encouragement, Sonja! We miss home 🏝

[@ZSaeteurn-Official]

There’s a lot of people who have children and wish they could explore the world like the both of you so don’t feel pressured. I’m glad I have nephews and niece and I love them very much and the joy they bring but I’m also glad I don’t have to deal with changing diapers or vomit, or other inconveniences I see my siblings have to deal with when we go on road trips. Even couples with children need baby sitters every now and then just to get some sanity. Don’t rush. Keep traveling and exploring and enjoying life. ✌️

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thanks for the support and encouragement-here’s to enjoying every bit of it! ✌️

[@kenzwibowo3632]

Note, I can understand your unwillingness to have a baby. I was the same as you not wanting to have a baby, but I told my wife in advance before we got married.. Anyway, I wish you two a joyful life

[@DR.CyberSecurity]

Note, don’t feel isolated in your feelings and your approach! I can say this mirrors my situation. I ended up marrying a woman with a child at 40. It was never right for me and turned out poorly. Not desiring to be a father (for whatever reason) usually makes for one not becoming the best version of a father and that’s rarely good enough. Also, Flora don’t stress the clock as much. You are SOOO young in this world today. Even deciding to be parents at 45 doesn’t have to be too late in this age! (My limited scope on it is you both would be awesome parents if you decide cuz love is really all that matters!)

[@DR.CyberSecurity]

Oh and grab ahold of something cuz this honesty and vulnerability is going to blow up the comments and could be rough, take them all with a grain of salt cuz you two are the successful ones exposing life, limit the outside influence! All ❤ 2 U!

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

It's fascinating how divided people can be about this topic. We are staying strong, don't worry!

[@jitty57]

แม่จะดีใจที่สุดถ้าลูกสองคนปล่อยให้การมาของหลานแม่เกิดขึ้นโดยธรรมชาติ แม่จะได้ปลดล็อคจากบาดแผลเก่าตอนลูกยังเล็กๆ แม่รู้ว่าตอนลูกยังเล็กลูกเจออะไรมาบ้าง ถึงตอนนี้ลูกจำเหตุการณ์ที่ผ่านมาไม่ได้ แม่รู้ว่ามันฝังลึกในจิตใต้สำนึกลูก ตอนนั้นลูกอายุแค่7ขวบเสียงของลูกยังก้องอยู่ในหัวแม่ ที่ลูกตะโกนว่า ชาตินี้โน๊ตจะไม่ขอมีลูกเด็ดขาดคุณแม่คอยดู แม่ได้แต่ปลอบใจและบอกว่า ไม่หรอกการมีลูกเป็นของขวัญจากสวรรค์จากจักรวาล แม่มีลูกแม่ภูมิใจมาก แม่บอกลูกว่าโตขึ้นเดี๋ยวโน๊ตก็ลืมมันเอง อย่าพูดอย่างนั้น มาวันนี้แม่รู้ว่ามันฝังลึกในจิตวิญญาณโน๊ตแล้ว แต่เพราะความเจ็บช้ำที่ลูกต้องผ่านตอนเด็ก นี่คือสาเหตุหนึ่งที่แม่รู้สึกเจ็บปวดใจที่สุด 😢😢😢😢😢😢 แม่มีส่วนผิดมากมายที่ไม่สามารถประคองสถานการณ์ตอนนั้นที่ทุกอย่างที่เกิดขึ้นกับเราให้ได้ดีกว่านี้ เพราะลูกไม่อยากมีลูกแม่ก็มีแผลบาดลึกเหมือนลูก ปล่อยให้ธรรมชาตินำทางลูกเถอะโน๊ตเชื่อแม่ปลดปล่อยความกลัวเมื่อตอนเด็กให้ไปผ่านไปเถอะนะ แม่รักลูกสุดหัวใจแม่แม่เขียนด้วยน้ำตาคลอเบ้า😢จากส่วนลึกในใจแม่ แม่อยกเห็นลูกถูกปลดปล่อย ให้จิตใต้สำนึกเป็นอิสระเถอะนะ โน๊ตไม่ต้องกลัวอะไรแล้ว แม่เชื่อว่าโน๊ตต้องเป็นพ่อที่ดีพ่อที่มีความรับผิดชอบ ลบมันออกไปแล้วเรามาเดินต่อไปแม่จะคอยตามดูห่างๆปกป้องลูกเมื่อลูกต้องการไม่ว่าเรื่องอะไร แม่รักลูกที่สุดลูกเอ้ย อย่าให้แม่รอหลานนาน แม่จะช่วยเลี้ยงเวลาลูกๆยุ่ง แม่จะเล่าเรื่องของพ่อเค้าให้เค้าฟังว่าพ่อเค้าแกร่งและผ่านเหตุการณ์อะไรมาบ้างเค้าต้องภูมิใจพ่อเค้าแน่นอน ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@kexinma7294]

Following you guys for a while now, this conversation made me a bit emotional. I really like you two guys, such nice people and love each other so much. Flora is such a wonderfull woman and apparently she really wants a baby, then just make one. Don't worry, you can raise kids like potatoes. Speaking from a Chinese relative or an elder brother's point of view. 😂

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Hahaha my pregnant friend loves your comment. She's having her third child soon and she'll keep the potato philosophy in mind 😂

[@ScruffyNomad]

This was way too personal for me. Couldn’t finish watching it after Flora started crying. You both have a heavy weight in your hearts. I understand and appreciate both sides of the same coin, but you truly won’t be ‘happy’ or content until you reach a mutual agreement you can live with forever.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

We understand not all conversations will resonate with everyone.

[@dutchylondon]

Iam not female but I believe it’s your absolute right as a woman to have a child. 35 is not too late but biological clock is ticking

[@peacehappiness3069]

Note really should have told you near the start of the relationship that he didn’t want kids. I understand he was young and selfish at the time. It’s too big a thing to not disclose. I can really feel Flora’s anguish…she could end up resenting him, if she doesn’t have the child that she obviously desires.

[@SgForeverSg]

Note is nice but I think Flora is so giving and understanding. It is tough to accept not having children when you actually want to. To have kids or not, is a choice for yourself, either way. 35/38 is not too old, but you’re getting there. One thing is impt, both need to be onboard. It is tough being a single parent especially when the other parent is around but not parenting.

[@DavidB-oj1wi]

you guys still young still have chance

[@irisarias454]

Amazing! So happy you are in Jeju. I live here 😊

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

We’re glad we got a couple days of good weather! Even went to the Forest of Healing today 🌳

[@darrylk808]

My wife and I do not have kids. We didn't care either way, but we did marry in our late 30s, so there was a good chance we would be childless. It didn't bother us. We had a great life, like you we traveled, built careers, etc. And we figured it is what it is. We have nieces & nephews and always had kids around. BUT... now our brothers and sisters are starting to have grandchildren. Now the regrets. We will never have grandkids!😢 Oh well, it is our fate, and we will just have to live with it. No matter what happens, life always finds a way and ends up working out. I would say that you should stop learning about each other in front of a camera! 😂

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Haha, we’ve had plenty of tough conversations over the years (off-camera)! Our goal in sharing these discussions is to raise awareness and open the dialogue for others experiencing similar situations. We believe there’s so much we can learn from each other!

[@johngagne986]

Tough discussion. I often think about a life if I had not had any children. My daughter was the child anyone would want. Smart, hard working, disciplined and honest, kind and good athlete and student. My son was the opposite. Very difficult, alcohol and drugs, had his mother in a catatonic state for many years due to his out of control actions. At one point when he was a teenager I put him into my car and drove him to a new city and kicked him out of the car and left him there wishing him good luck and hoped he did not die. So parenting is a real winding road with the highest highs and the lowest lows one can experience. In the end I will say that both of them have ended up with good lives facing their challenges and successes with grace and careful thought. Someday I am sure the three of us will end up on a rooftop somewhere and fill in the stories with details and some good laughs and maybe a tear or two. I will look forward to that day with both of you and maybe our friends Paddy and Pritchy. I just know that whatever your life brings you it will be a good destiny for two of the most authentic people I have had the pleasure to come to know. You have blessed many people, especially me, and those blessings are all bound to be returned to you in great abundance.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you John, we appreciate you! And thank you for sharing your story. It’s inspiring to see how your family has faced those challenges and come out stronger. Wishing you and your family all the best as you create more beautiful memories together!

[@vwchan841]

You're settling, Flora. Don't settle. When you spoke about how much love you can offer to someone, that motherness came through. You can always travel again, but can you have a baby later? NO! (And this is coming from someone who doesn't have kids - met and married older).

[@brbapappa]

Start a poll: Childfree \ Chilld(ren) \ Adopt \ View Results.

[@Dekbannok360]

Respect both of your opinions, by the end of the day only you can design your life journey. In my humble opinion, since we all will leave this world behind sooner or later anyway, having someone representing our identity would be something invaluable. Think about our ancestors, if they are still around they should be very proud and grateful for what they did given this life to our great-grandparents, our parents and down to our generation. We’re not here to be perfect, to be the happiest, but we’re here to live our lives, to pass on our legacy so that we can leave everything behind when that time comes with a story for the next generation to remember. Sending love to both of you,

[@NickyDunn]

Hiya Flora and Note. Thank you for sharing. Note. I do not have a mum and dad that cared for me. But when I had my firstborn, I never knew love like it. I have three grown kids now, adults. With their own children, another blessing my grandbabies. My children saved me. So for everyone, it is different. If it happens. It will be a blessing, but for you two to have each other is a blessing. What will be, will be. And as long as you are happy that is all that matters. You would make wonderful parents. Your fur baby is always with you. Adopting is amazing. Have a baby then adopt a sibling. :) Seriously you have each other. So that is all that matters. Love you guys. Happy Wednesday.

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you for the words of support, Nicky 🙏

[@Goldbach2023]

It’s not too late. Many of my friends have their first baby in their 40s. Having a child is a very cool journey. You two are so lovely persons. Maybe you should consider a lovely baby who someday travels with you. ❤

[@user-pl7ed6ci6l]

Look into IVF, it is not too late for you, it will give you the option to change your mind when you are older, I have a friend that went that route, he and his wife are a decade older than you and they just became parents, my wife and I also love to travel and we had similar discussion about kids at about the same age you did, we went the other route, you do have to sacrifice a lot being parents, but at least for us, we don't regret our decision back then.

[@knguncle3]

Abolute right choice doesn't exist. Vice versa, when you have kids, you always wonder what would be like if I don't have kids. The key is to just enjoy the current moment and what you have. Life planning is a responsible thing to do. But too much planning can be a burden instead. As we all know, things don't always go according to plan anyway. I have pretty typical boring life with kids. But that's ok, as I'm not a spontaneous person. And I think I'm young enough to enjoy a bit of life when the kids are old enough to take care of themselves. And thank you for sharing !

[@margarettownsley9500]

Hi flora and note I think you guys are perfect for each other I’d not listen to other people as your life is unique to you I’d only examine under the microscope what’s right for oneself we must think about who will support you in your old age who will carry on your memory and legacy and material instinct is a very strong thing can we be truly happy if we ignore our body clock and leave it to late then we have no choice as age takes the choice away but whatever decision you both make I wish you both love health and happiness best wishes for your future live it and live it well as life passes without us even noticing it only seems like a minute ago I was 40 years old now I’m 60 years old 😊

[@OTR_FloraandNote]

Thank you Margaret 😊

[@Altysha8]

She is contradicting herself… it’s clear she wants a baby..! Yes, kids are not easy, however you get more from them..! You need to decide while it’s not too late..!

[@thansri]

Being good parents need lot of sacrifice. Time and money etc. now when I talked to my friend who does not any child. we become more distant. It is not like they are selfish or anything but I feel they are still childish and self center but somehow we are still good friends anyway.

[@jenx21002]

I will say it is definitely OK to be "selfish" to lead your best life before having a kid. Having children is really a life long and v v big commitment! it is not selfish at all, bcos ultimately we should put ourselves first regardless whether having children or not. It is way worse if anyone were not to be content/happy with themselves and life and be full of regrets before starting a family. I will think Flora's friend def made that remark bcos of her own jealousness, I mean it's everyone's dream to travel for living!!! Anything that other ppl say are really just "noise", as they are not YOU! Anyways, I hope Note heals from his childhood hurts before coming to a decision whether or not to have a kid. And whichever decision you both make, for Flora to hv be at peace with it. Just from a bystander's POV, you guys look like you all can be rlly good parents!!! it's not too late!!! it's really alot of work but def, it's a worthwhile journey i guess.. Sending hugs and love