Our Korean & American Adoption Story: Intro & FAQ#1: Did you always know you wanted to adopt?

Since becoming a mom through Korean Adoption and US Domestic Adoption, some people have reached out and asked questions about our process & journey. I wanted to answer some of the harder questions both about adoption, as well as what it's like to be a Korean-American couple who has openly adopted our boys.
In this video, I give a brief intro about our adoption story (with a lot of details missing!) and answer the question: Did you always know you wanted to adopt?
Usually, I prefer to write / blog about our journey, but haven't been able to get into the zone of writing lately (writer's block is real!). So, I'm trying something a bit new here. I hope you enjoy this video and please let me know if you have any topics you want me to cover!

[@julieanklam3795]

35 years ago tomorrow, May 11, 1984, my 4 month old son came home from South Korea. I was permanently changed from not a mom to a mother. He is grown, married with two sons of his own now. I went on to later have two birth children but in my heart and soul, there is no difference in the love I have for all of my children. Adoption is a pattern that God ordained so it is a perfect way to make a family. Your children are beautiful.

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Julie Anklam thanks so much for sharing. I completely agree about there being no difference in how much you love your children. We go back and forth on if we want to have more kids or not whether it be through pregnancy or adoption and to us, it doesn’t matter either way. Happy Family Anniversary❤️

[@worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010]

that's great and all, but I hope you realize that its more complicated than just god ordained it. and I hope you acknowledge the loss that your son went through in giving you a family. I 100% believe that love can grow from anywhere, and that you truly do love your kids. but if you truly do love them as you say, you would also acknowledge that they were permanently changed as well, from what they were before. adoption is not mutual unless the adoptee says so. sincerely a Korean adoptee

[@bearandcubbie4238]

worship the comedy god seo eunkwang or else hi there-The hard part about putting yourself out there like this is that you can’t cover everything you want to say in just a few minutes. But I knew it came with the territory so I actually really appreciate your comment. Acknowledging my kids’ losses with their birth moms is something I try to do and learn more and more about as we get to know each other. I absolutely believe there is a huge loss my boys feel and may always feel and acknowledge it in my other outlets in the past (written blogs or IG posts). I plan to cover more on that in a future post here so just know that it’s not something I take lightly. Whether my boys grow up with similar feelings as you or not, my focus is to learn from others but to be the best mom I can to my own kids in the way they need. I do want to say, coming from a mom who does try her best...please know that we moms, whether bio or adoptive don’t have all the answers and are probably doing things wrong 90%of the time. But the love I have for my kids is constant and genuine. If you ever want to talk more, feel free to let me know.

[@worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010]

@@bearandcubbie4238 Oh hi! Thanks for responding! It's truly great to hear that you are trying to learn more and more, honestly, for the most part that is a huge thing for us adoptees, to be willing to understand us better because not many people out there care enough. I agree, adoptees are all different and I think you are absolutely in the right to believe that fulfilling what your son needs first is the most important. for example, my younger sister who is also adopted from korea doesn't feel the same way at all as me and she recently had to choose whether to cut contact with her half bio brother which was a very difficult decision for her as she knows how passionate i feel about this subject. she decided that she likes her adoptive family too much that it was mentally exhausting her to stay in touch. although that wouldn't have been my decision, its her feelings, and it is her choice ultimately, i cannot make that decision for her. i don't know what its like to be a mom yet but i fully acknowledge that it can never be done 100% perfect. parents who genuinely try their best deserve credit for everything they do right, no matter what. but i think the key thing is to recognize that bringing in a kid is still very different from birthing one, because that kid came from somewhere else. in this way, sadly doing your best is not enough but only because it makes meeting the needs of adoptees more of a challenge and some needs will never be met simply because adoption requires fundamental ties to be broken. which isn't the adoptive parents fault at all, its just a reality of adoption itself. it is an uprooting of biology, and although not in your case, culture/race. f.e for me, personality clashes with my parents made it more of a challenge. its definitely different when Korean americans adopt though because that cultural and racial tie is still intact, which for me personally, makes mountains of positive difference. (my parents are white irish people) it makes me so happy that Koreans are adopting because i know how much of a stigma it is. i encourage more Koreans to adopt from korea because culture/race is honestly where a lot of identity issues start. but you're doing great!!! your efforts will certainly pay off in the end. having the openness you have is going to make your relationships stronger. :) :) :) btw your kids are so cute

[@julieanklam3795]

@@worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010 , I have acknowledged and lived with his heartache and his growth into the amazing person he is. As his parent, I wouldn't want him to stay stuck in loss and grief but to overcome a situation that neither he nor I put him in. All those years ago being born to an unwed mother was in S Korea makes it nearly impossible to find connections to his birth family today. But if it were possible I would encourage him to do whatever he chose to do. He's a man now. And feelings aren't the ruler of the day in his life. He has joy and that's his choice.

[@marthamphofu5965]

They remind me so much of Luca and Julian ... MEL & SHANES Lil ones.... So cute.

[@charleneacosta3905]

Same!

[@nichellebinion6080]

Omg yes I thought this luka was Mel&Shane son.

[@slan5543]

Im just random 18 years old girl from other side of the world but I love your channel and family.I believe that you’re good kind person.God bless you and your little cute family❤️

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Super sweet of you, thanks so much for stopping by!

[@spdlee]

Love this beautiful story... Looking forward to watching more episode as the kids get older :)

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate the kind words!

[@irvinflores8487]

Luca uncannily looks like Yuuto from the Korean show Return of Superman. Look him up on instagram sincere.emi

[@JJ-yu6og]

ㅋㅋㅋ He kinda does.

[@kang_glimpsesofgrace]

I am so excited to see this on here! Thank you for taking your time out, and filming these types of videos! We are currently going through the adoption process for adoption from South Korea, and am so excited to have found this channel!

[@bearandcubbie4238]

AllthingsbyKang congratulations! How wonderful! Thanks for stopping by and the kind words. Feel free to let me know if you ever have any questions! Love to help in anyway.

[@wasthereonce510]

Oh my gosh! Thank you KZbin sugestion! I just came across and stopped by. You guys are amazing! I'm having the thought of adoption in my mind for the past few years. This would be an extremely helpful source for me. PS. I couldn't stop smiling after seeing your son's smile at the end. SUBSCRIBED! :P

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Thanks so much! That is amazing that you have that pull toward adoption. Wishing you all the best!

[@_gala.xie_]

I thanked God that KZbin recommended your channel to me. Much love from Malaysia! xx

[@bearandcubbie4238]

nanakz thank you so much!

[@kitescape297]

Thank you so so much for sharing your story

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Fernanda Annenberg aww thank you so much!

[@mizlahra]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I've been so inspired by you since I met you and looking forward to seeing and reading more about your family's journey. :)

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Thanks so much Laura! Ditto. Can't believe we are both in the mom of 2 club!

[@redonmyhead]

I am really enjoying getting to know your family. Many blessings to all of you. Did you have a public blog as well?

[@madamjaynie87]

What a beautiful family.... I wish I would have adopted 20 years ago but I honestly never knew there was such a tremendous need until I started watching KZbin videos....

[@Yok_Knnn]

the cute boys are my dream...love your family from China.

[@Hjjjjjj655]

I love Korean people and culture ♥♥ and Korean kids are sooo cute .. love your family ♥♥♥

[@bearandcubbie4238]

H J that’s super sweet! Thank you so much!

[@Hjjjjjj655]

@@bearandcubbie4238 you're welcome ♥♥

[@aliciajocelyn6718]

Thank you for sharing 🥰 by the way did Luca just ask for a cookie to God? He's so cute 😂

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Haha he did😅 Thanks so much, I think he is too🥰

[@songlee0026]

0:11 😍😍😍😍😍😍 cubbie is so shy and cute.😍😍😍😍

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Song Lee haha thank you! Definitely only when the camera’s rolling

[@sacredrose5477]

Cubbie is a sweet little chub chub

[@giuliasuhett5188]

What a beautiful family!!!

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Aww thank you so much!

[@KhasoaDiaries]

Ooh...they are soooo cute...new love here....kisses...beautiful family...😙😙😙😙

[@kendallcasperson4518]

CUBBIE IS SO PLUMP AWHHHH HES SO CUTE

[@JoyLangston]

I am so thankful for youtube suggestions! Glad I found your channel! I have so much admiration for people who loves adoption! Isn’t that amazing how we can see the goodness of God through a child? That’s exactly how I feel! My obgyn told me I should start getting pregnant before my son will turn two because I’m turning 38 this July. But I don’t know why I have a heart for adoption. I am so happy God gave me a child and I have contentment. But my heart really wants to find another child to give a home and love! 😭

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Aw thanks much for the compliment! That’s so amazing that you are considering adoption in your heart. Explore your feelings, research...and you will know which path is best for you and your family❤️ Sending my best to you!

[@우움-w3m]

love your stories love your kids they are adorable ❤️❤️

[@armymydaycaratnctzenatinyaroha]

Such a nice family. The boys are adorable!!!!!! Btw, what's Cubbie full name, since Cubbie is a nickname

[@bangeiner397]

Aaww my lovely cubbie has a KZbin channel, waiting for the next vlogs

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Aw, thanks so much!

[@방탄소년단-o8b]

Awwwww your sons are soooo cute. They look shy ☺️

[@bearandcubbie4238]

방탄소년단 thanks so much! Haha they are shy bc the camera is on them:) otherwise they are super energetic! Lol

[@nichellebinion6080]

You have adorable kids,luka reminds me of another adopted boy ..

[@nurkholidaziah4452]

Cubbie look like Julian Datugan...

[@tatamara7796]

You're children are so cute. Congratulations

[@j-park5095]

Which agency did you go through? My husband and I are Korean-Americans thinking about adoption, but it would be wonderful to adopt in the states. I did not know there were Korean children for adoption in the states as well. Thank you in advance for your response.

[@CeciliaJacobs]

Hi from Brazil! I wish a lot of blessings to you and your family!

[@heelove081715]

I hope there are Korean subtitles~^^

[@比特聪]

cubbie is so cute!

[@bearandcubbie4238]

kk Chiang haha aww thank you!

[@debbysparkssparkssparks9466]

God bless you. It has always wished I could of done.

[@anycaliber9086]

Thank you adoption is so beautiful God bless you and you husband and your wonderful children you have a beautiful family you also may like to check out you may have already but Grace of the millers you remind me of them and their undying love for children they adopted 4 and have 3 of their own but they did everything on faith in Jesus Christ Amen

[@Marek_Cali]

I do not agree with you........I do think you are "perfect family". You are amazing mom. Boys are very lucky.

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Marek_Cali that is beyond sweet, thank you so much. I’m definitely the lucky one❤️

[@maritzacordoba1240]

🙏❤️

[@bearandcubbie4238]

Maritza Cordoba ❤️❤️❤️

[@nathaliatan]

Is that possible to adopt a child in Korea if I’m an Indonesian?

[@slopppy75]

Cubbie is so shy ☺️

[@bearandcubbie4238]

CRAWLER75 haha ONLY in front of the camera!

[@anonymousanonymous-wc4wx]

Cubbie is so cute. I want him...lol

[@aah4960]

💖💖💖💖💖💖🙏

[@anonymousanonymous-wc4wx]

How come you stop making new videos