Our Upbringing as Harvard & Stanford MBA Grads

[@astalagriotte]

This whole episode resonated so much. I feel like I’ve carried all my parents’ and ancestors’ hopes and dreams so I have put so much pressure on myself to succeed because my success is theirs and drove myself to burnout so many times. Lots of work in therapy to stop myself from putting all this pressure on myself all of the time. It’s WIP but I am so much happier as a result.

[@jeanqluo]

+100 to your comment. I'm proud of you for putting in the time and work in therapy to grow and live a new era 💖

[@Sof__pr]

This conversation is so important. You guys contextualized the experience of children of immigrants in a way that I couldn’t put to words but felt seen.

[@jeanqluo]

Thank you so much for sharing this, it's all we could've hoped for in making this episode 💛💛💛

[@eliseomata1494]

You ladies went deeper and the listening experience was richer. Regarding your professional experiences, please discuss how you may have dysfunctionally managed the low times, instead of episodic resilience. As we know, the workplace can sometimes break you. I would respect and honor your wisdom if you are willing to share.

[@cherie.brooke]

That's such a great question! We'll try to answer it in the future episodes

[@Jean.Ventures]

Oof so many times. And lots of examples of trying to find the right thing to do and being unsure. Straight to the mailbag!! 💌📫

[@gracezhao9214]

Love this episode! I'd love for you to expand on your thoughts on being the elder sister or only child, being a "good daughter" guilt etc. I am an only child, a daughter, a doctor and a full-grown woman nearing my 30s yet I still feel so much guilt being away from home and sometimes struggle making decisions that I feel would be considered selfish in my parents' eyes.

[@cherie.brooke]

We’ll definitely do a follow-up on that 💙

[@Jean.Ventures]

SO REAL. And you got it, dude. Coming soon ❤

[@Sof__pr]

Also when Jean resonated with the quote about filling up your google calendars, I thought that show’d how our defaults differ by generations sometimes. I was born the first year of gen z so I think I have millennial tendencies, and I’ve noticed that millennials tend to almost need to suffer to feel like they’ve done a good job. Whereas gen z’s default tends to be work smarter not harder. An example being leaving at 5pm and having a work life balance. Just my observations.

[@jeanqluo]

Yes that sounds about right - my girlfriends and peers have an ongoing conversation about "how to manage Gen Z" because they seem to have a totally different perspective of the role of work in their lives

[@sandramadu4977]

Very relatable topic! I think the pressure I feel is I have to work hard and MUST be successful because my siblings and I are the only one of our cousins that got the opportunity to the leave our home country for a “better life”. And sometimes I don’t feel like I measure up to those expectations. And you also feel the pressure to help those who are still back home even though I don’t have it all figured out or financially stable.

[@cherie.brooke]

So so real ❤ this rings very true with me as well

[@jeanqluo]

wow, I hadn't even thought about this but I definitely feel this way too.

[@cecephipps]

I’m a 46-year old daughter of Asian immigrants, and even though I am years older than you both, your words deeply resonated with me. I’ve been in that space of denying my own needs and feelings, which were always overshadowed by the stories and examples of sacrifice and loss. I understand the drive and burnout that seems to be the natural consequence of those stories becoming deeply ingrained narratives. I am on the journey of learning and unlearning, as it relates to my mental health and navigating relationships with my parents. And I am navigating now what it means to be a parent - and how so much of parenting is recognizing and dealing with my own inner child. That question of - can we raise “successful” or “driven” children without instilling these narratives - is a question I have struggled with. Obviously we don’t want our children to be crippled by anything that is unhealthy. But I do believe that is very unlikely that the level of grit required to achieve the level of accomplishments you reference is possible without messaging that reinforces consistent sacrifice and hardwork. I say unlikely - because it is possible that someone who has a natural interest may be able to hyperfocus to the degree required to achieve the a great deal of worldly success (and as an aside, that hyperfocus may be correlated with neurodivergence)- but is unlikely that the majority will. That does create a conundrum as a parent. How hard to we push? What do we keep from our childhood and what do we toss? Like most things, there are no easy answers or universally applicable templates. It’s just iterating and feeling lonely and unsure much of the time, at least for me and most people I know 😅. Each generation lives in a such a specific moment in time and space. We want better for the next generation out of deep love and hope, and we do our best to craft it, but there will always be things that we can’t anticipate or comprehend. I think we just do the best we can and prioritize learning/listening/growing.

[@cherie.brooke]

Thank you so much for sharing this, @cecephipps. It sounds like you’re on such a profound journey, one that I think so many of us, regardless of age, can resonate with. The tension between honoring our parents' sacrifices and shaping a new narrative for ourselves-and now for our own kids-is not a small thing.. the journey you’re on, of learning and unlearning while also parenting, sounds both challenging and courageous. There’s strength in not having all the answers, in just being open to growth and compassion

[@Sametagross]

Awesome vid. Can definitely relate to a lot of these bits. I came to the U.S. from Zimbabwe when I was 2.5 years old. Was told I could be anything I wanted as long as it involved Medicine/Law/Engineering... Now I'm 28, and have since transitioned from Big Tech to co-founding a startup. Reconciling the challenges I face now, vs what my family has had to overcome is not something a lot of people can relate to, so thanks for showing an additional perspective!

[@cherie.brooke]

Thank you for being here. We got this!!

[@Jean.Ventures]

First of all, thank you for sharing this with us and second of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your bravery and everything you’ve achieved so far. You are seen 😌

[@francisco-id9zg]

I freaking love you guys

[@cherie.brooke]

ILYSM2!!!!!

[@jeanqluo]

love you 🥰

[@aprajitasingh8338]

I must say, there's a lot that needs to be said and talked about immigrant mentality but I feel one of the major reasons that it's not talked about as much is because it's glorified in the ways that you both spoke of . So while we do acknowledge (but never out loud to our parents) that there's so much internal trauma and mannerisms attached, there's also a whole lot of celebrations fed into your daily life by them that theres a sense of obligation to do well by them at all times. Not healthy but also not so easy to confront our own selves with. It's scary and thank god I have an elder sister who paved her own path and took the dealings of being someone to do it first because my people-pleasing personality started with pleasing my parents at all times. We have both come so far and to be honest, it's still not an easy topic which is why I feel not many people are happy to talk about it because in some ways being weak is incredibly looked down upon when you are Asian for some reason that is yet to figured out by me so being a member of even realizing this and accepting it takes a ton of courage which I'm so glad you both spoke about! Huge fan and was eagerly looking forward to this episode.

[@cherie.brooke]

So real!!!

[@Jean.Ventures]

Elder sister 🙋🏻‍♀️ people pleasing 🙋🏻‍♀️ still growing 🙋🏻‍♀️ . We got this 💛💛💛💛

[@Sof__pr]

I’d love to hear about your favorite reads, whether they supported your self awareness, professional growth, understanding of social issues, economics, etc.

[@jeanqluo]

Oooh thanks for the suggestion! We've done a couple "Book Club" parts on the podcast where we talk about the books we're currently reading but we've never talked about *favorite reads*

[@camilazamorano3021]

Second season it's going to be great! I love the new topics that you share with us

[@cherie.brooke]

Thank you for being here!! Much more goodness to come

[@Jean.Ventures]

Soooo excited about the episodes for season 2 omg 😻

[@leoarakaki4657]

Hello there!! love your content. I'm a sophomore majoring in business in Argentina. At my college there aren't really any extracurriculars if you want to excel or develop leadership capabilities so I would like to know some advice on how to start a consulting club or something like that.

[@briannypena5439]

I loved this episode!

[@Jean.Ventures]

Yayyyy. Please share with your friends who would also enjoy it!!! I just know so many people would benefit from or relate to this episode 💛💛💛

[@lucywang4932]

This is such a great episode!

[@cherie.brooke]

Thank you for your support! Please share with someone you think would find it helpful 🥹💙

[@Jean.Ventures]

Thanks, Lucy!!!! 💕💕💕💕

[@bryanjesuscastrocoello2791]

Im.currently learning english so this is so helpful 🎉

[@cherie.brooke]

So happy to hear

[@lakshyaghunawat9423]

Hey Cherie very helpful content Could you also speak about the elected student body process and politics of the school and I’ve also heard that there is one position that heads all the graduate schools of Stanford. Would be really helpful thanks

[@cherie.brooke]

Do you mean the president of Stanford? Please expand on your question and I’ll try to answer it!

[@lakshyaghunawat9423]

@@cherie.brookethe chosen representative of all the combined graduate schools. I’m not sure what the position is called but the council is called Graduate Student Council. I wanted to know the insights of how all of the process is conducted what kind things candidates do during the election campaign

[@TheBullGangGeneral]

Woohoo first.

[@sunnyrashidov7696]

Can I join as a third person lol?

[@pinyichang4680]

謝謝

[@mosqutio88]

Financially independent as in Jean has passive income to cover her monthly needs and wants?

[@cherie.brooke]

No, just having personal savings from jobs and working hard.

[@mosqutio88]

@@cherie.brooke You and your sister are amazing! 🥹

[@duyanhbui4215]

pls try not to repeat some phrases like " forget about it" , it is so distracting

[@deez994]

omgg not harvard MBA wowww sooo impressivee

[@FindingThumos]

your whole identitiess are based around your Ivy League degrees lmaoo

[@cherie.brooke]

Clearly you didn’t even watch this episode