Robert Greene: Understand the THOUGHTS & FEELINGS of Others

[@noseefood1943]

90% of people I talk to everyday don't listen they just can't wait to talk about themselves

[@nanowiseman1442]

I lost a friend who seemed to dominate the discourse, about 80% her words and stories. I don't miss her so much though as I feel the relationship was so one-sided and repetitive. I tried at times to fight for more "me" but it didn't seem to work. I can't say that most people are like that though. For a lot of people I could probably be a better listener.

[@silentlyhit1462]

Why u are not start to listen them

[@mjinba07]

I think that's pretty common. Most people are kinda desperate to be heard and listening is a skill few people think to learn.

[@BashaerB-h2c]

I've noticed the same. However there are two types of "non listeners" one type will keep talking and talking until you speak up then they will sit and listen but won't ask you further questions ( which can be frustrating and feel like a one sided interest). The second type talk so much and don't even stop when you say a word or two. Personally, I can't stand these types and I usually give them five max minutes before I excuse myself. They are so self centered and usually insanely insecure.

[@LUNAR-SCAPE]

That’s great for somebody who doesn’t like talking about their life and prefers hearing what others have to say 😊😁

[@madronaldsalvador]

Robert Greene promoting empathy in the most interesting way. who doesn't love that?

[@sapnayahakikat3562]

You can make more friends in 2 months then in 2 years by getting genuinely interested in other people ~DALE CARNEGIE

[@aeoncreations3371]

Many people are very good at pretending that they are very different to whom they really are.

[@zenostrixster]

You also are like that. We always act differently around different people.

[@sandywhat2429]

​@@zenostrixsterNo not everybody

[@cellebln]

Because they are ashamed of who they really are (not in all cases because we have to preserve our emotional and well-being in our judgmental world) Hope that makes sense!

[@pazeros6424]

No they don't xd

[@HidingPlainSight]

​@@celleblnExactly what i was thinking!

[@themuslimsuperhero1]

Robert Greene is a personal hero of mine. Such a sublime and honest gentleman 👏💖💪

[@pz3j]

Every conversation is an interrogation. If you listen, people will eventually either tell you or show you everything. Be like a matador. Remember, there is no such thing as an innocent question and no such thing as a valueless answer.

[@mstra2341]

We all have this sense that we are not tapping into often, what Mr. Greene, is speaking on. I use that early on in life. Empathy. and sensing people's energy. I am like a magnet, can sums someone up, walking into a room, and keen observer without constantly looking at him or her. Just a first glance, matters and kept that photogenic memory, energy in my head. This is how you obtain wisdoms, through keen observations.

[@selfless-esteem]

I've found that many people are more mentally strong than others

[@gregtiller3569]

Weird sentence 😜

[@karenfox3951]

That's true.

[@mjinba07]

Agree 100% that we need social connection and we're suffering now from too much distraction and self absorption. But in my experience as someone who's always been highly attuned to others, people don't always want to be so closely observed. Some feel intruded upon, some people actually feel threatened by it, some will mistake a high degree of empathy for a ready emotional crutch, some will misinterpret empathy or mistake it for vulnerability on the part of the observer, or unusual insight a sign of untrustworthiness... There can be reactions you really don't want.

[@aliciawang3749]

i feel this this. as a college student, i noticed that some ppl are off-put by my immediate curiosity in them. socializing is a delicate balance, and often it takes time for the other person to feel comfortable opening up. as much as i would love to hear their story, some ppl don’t want to share so quickly, and that’s ok. i think mr. greene’s advice works best in situations where you’re spending a lot of time with someone and forced to interact with them (like at work). that way the progression of the conversation seems more natural. or… on rare occasion, the other person is like me, and wants to have those deep 1-1 conversations right off the bat. but that’s usually not the case. i used to be very quiet, self-conscious, and scared of other ppl, so i understand why they may be wary. but now i feel like i can befriend anyone and get along with anyone… with time, and of course if they’re willing

[@mjinba07]

@@aliciawang3749 Misinterpretation can occur, too, as when "deep listening" is mistaken for sexual interest. We think we're just being good at taking information in, but we're also sending information out whether we're aware of it or not. And we don't always have control over how that's interpreted. So, it pays to be careful!

[@aliciawang3749]

@@mjinba07 so true about sexual interest! i am careful to avoid too much conversation with guys, or they may get the wrong idea… it has happened before, multiple times. usually what happens is that i’m bored at work, and i’d rather talk than stand there awkwardly and quietly, so i made conversation. the more we talked, the more honest we became. i didn’t show any signs of romantic interest other than eye contact, listening, and thoughtful responses. however, this may be interpreted as more than a friendship. all i wanted was to make the time pass faster, while also learning about the other person.

[@mjinba07]

@@aliciawang3749 Yeah, with young men sometimes you need to be signaling that you're NOT interested. Unless you are! lol

[@whitneyangelie3682]

Yea that’s true. But if you’re intuitive enough and actually truly good at reading people you can figure out who wants to be “seen” and who doesn’t. With the people who don’t want to be that exposed and vulnerable you kinda “play dumb” act like you haven’t figured them out as much as you really have (unless you’re trying to throw them off balance or intimidate them). Then w people who want to be seen and truly understood, you can be more open, outwardly observant, curious and connected. You have to calibrate accordingly to each individual person.

[@ladyoflightartwriter5633]

For those of us who are observant, it's also about intention, and its about being present in the now. And it's also about tuning into our animal side & feeling senses more, & to allow more of complexity and nuance of awareness of our emotional and physical environments inside ourselves. And its also to allow ourselves to notice the contradictory physical language that is the opposite of someone's speech. It's outward focus as a way to inform inner focus. To use information from the outside to direct inner thought into outward action & or manifest happenings into being.

[@bethj_fitness]

9

[@thesetruths1404]

As an adult I've mostly thought what I had experienced was boring or uninteresting compared to others, so I rarely talk about myself, or past, or stuff to others. Unless they ask me. But few ask me anything. I do like to talk about how I did something if it helps another do something similarly or successfully, or explaining my mistakes. And I like doing or saying anything tasteful and harmless that causes laughter.

[@reckszkingzactivitiesrkat.4134]

Robert Greene’s books are fire 🔥

[@goodvibesonly476]

Facts!! 💯

[@reckszkingzactivitiesrkat.4134]

@@goodvibesonly476 Glad you recognise to 💥

[@shraddhajain5310]

Indeed

[@christyliberge4189]

I absolutely agree with this approach to human nature. I am deeply empathic to people and it's natural for me to understand and relate. Yet understanding people should always be known with great respect and honor. It's a beautiful process.

[@D8099.]

He is correct! 🏆🥇🌟😂. The thing I love about Robert Greenes titles is that they sound so dangerous and then people get worried someone bad will be given a weapon. That’s just the book cover. The truth is people are like movies. You cannot read people like a book unless you yourself a very genuinely good person. So his teachings only work for that subset of people meaning his teachings cannot be weaponized. The narcissist mind will fall asleep after the first sentence about anyone other than themselves. You must have a level of empathy so extreme you actually loose your sense of time in this life. Like 10 years vs a week might actually feel the same to you studying this subject and you might actually kinda bounce out of it asking yourself was that a dream? Nope I actually just dove through that persons life seeing it like a movie. With no ill intent. You cannot be an empath with ill intent. That is actually how you bore an empath. But no gifts are free. You be introvert, high strung with tendancies towards hoarding.

[@tommybinson]

One of the best videos I have seen on social skills. Thanks. Imagine how much better society would be if empathy were more common.

[@littleangel18]

Love Robert - he’s a treasure to humanity ❤

[@freeloaderuser6793]

You can try this on yourself to get better it. Find a topic you love that you could talk for hours about. It could be work, your hobbies, anything. Then, imagine yourself talking to someone new. What could they say in what sequence will get you to start talking a lot? How would you get yourself to open up? When you are able to do that, understand that everyone else is like that as well. There is always something they could talk about for hours as well. You just have to find it.

[@Jo-ds3xv]

Underrated comment!

[@BashaerB-h2c]

Great advice! I did this one with my a coach at my local gym. She's the hard type that isn't warm nor easily opens up to people. I was interested in her (as a friend - I am female as well) and once she disclosed to me that she's an athlete, I used it as a starter for our next conversation that went on for an hour. She told me all the juicy details and I absolutely LOVED every second of it. I'm sure we would've kept going for hours if I didn't have to leave. People's hobbies/passions are a great way to have deep conversations. They really warm up to you especially if you're genuinely interested and ask good follow up questions.

[@yashtapase3821]

I screenshot your comment for implementation ❤ Thanks ❤

[@jeplica7011]

I do that sometimes and then I'll realize it and feel like a creeper and immediately tell on myself and then they get really visibly uncomfortable. So I don't know what's worse tbh. My empathy can be debilitating at times, I don't want inside their head. I would like honest unmasked communication, but that only comes from me,. I understand people objectively and accept them unconditionally, however if their behavior is damaging or not aligned or infringes upon mine, I'll accept them unconditionally from afar. I can't remember the last time I wasn't completely misunderstood

[@gerrimiller3491]

Robert Greene books help me tremendously especially with my client's. Thank you❤❤❤❤❤

[@rifathossain3268]

Which book is it?

[@gerrimiller3491]

48 laws of Power

[@Profsomboon]

Great advise from Robert. You live with spouse for decades, as time goes by you don't take time to know her interests.

[@MB-ke9mi]

You should ask your spouse and also be genuinely interested in their interests as well as yours.

[@saadmohammad4323]

The best advice ive ever heard

[@elixr7777]

being non selfish is key.

[@joseanvega]

Robert, THANK YOU.

[@CiciWyze]

This is what it feels like being a barber. I couldn't ever put it into words before. 😊❤

[@ramontv6233]

Understand this 100% this is deep

[@unknownunknown-hn1kx]

The problem with doing this method u absorb Thier energy.. most of that energy is trauma, troubles and other negative energy.. that will make u feel sad.

[@CiciWyze]

I do it 5 days a week, after every client I go into the bathroom and shake it off, it's not my energy.

[@HighNoone]

I often feel like I can read peoples minds. I'm usually right, I'm still pretty self absorbed. But I am incredibly observant, and very attuned to reading the eyes and slight facial movements. Also just experience in life, many ppl act the way others have before. If you're observant of human behavior you can often predict what someone will feel or how they will think in a given situation. How you make others feel is one of these things, if you know how you effect others you know where the misunderstandings are happening and can correct them before the become a problem. People are very childish and fake, it's important to notice when they start acting like that and make your truthful intentions known, point out the thoughts they are having, deal with that before it becomes a problem for you.

[@karenfox3951]

You are on point with everything you just said.

[@zohramartini9425]

We often forget about the cultural aspect of things. This seems correct in the western world, but doing that in Asia may seem too frontal

[@Glamor471]

Most people venture into crypto and other investments to be a millionaire. Meanwhile, I just want to be debt free

[@MichaelJacksonMosesMichael]

That's very practical and smart goal, a wise man once said do everything you can to get outta debt, one of his tips to getting rich

[@Benardoscila]

​Assets that can make you wealthy Gold Crypto Stock Real estate

[@alessandro763]

​@@BenardoscilaWhen you invest in crypto you are buying a day you don't need to work

[@florauzi]

​@@alessandro763Crypto is the future, investing in it will be the wisest thing to do especially with the current rise..

[@Williamson-ld5dl]

I will forever be indepted to you Mrs Rita Orlando you've changed my life, I'll continue to preach about your name for the world to hear, you've saved me from a huge financial debt with just little investment. Thanks Mrs Rita Orlando

[@GuitarWithBrett]

Most people aren’t that interesting though when you try this .. some are fascinating though , just hard to find those who will reveal enough of who they really are

[@souqsayara7644]

The human brain and people are damn interesting to me

[@sloppy1287]

@@souqsayara7644 yeah, i dont know what that guys talking about. i wonder what makes him think that. @guitarwithbrett who are some people uve talked to? that are were not interestinf

[@GuitarWithBrett]

@@sloppy1287 many in tech which is my field who are introverts . They are interesting if can get them talking. People who are know it alls or very fixed mindsets. They can be interesting to observe, but it’s not a fun interaction when a person always tries to outdo you with a better story etc . It’s also hard often to communicate as words often do not convey actual thinking or experience as they are so open to interpretation. Many also in life aren’t thinker or talker types , more doers. So can be tricky to really get why they are doing what they do.

[@pada5992]

Try 512 personalities and people become interesting

[@valentinxz]

Everyone is interesting to me, even the mundane. Because how we see people is a projection of our own mind. Every interaction verbal and nonverbal is a way to level up awareness of one’s own mental prowess. But that my way of looking at things

[@rvcuisinemarysway]

Robert, you are very awesome to listen to!

[@craigdav9740]

Well…I met someone who used to apply this and other psycho-social techniques that in my opinion seemed to be learnt during her law studies…I used to make her feel that it worked with me but she is one of the people I consider to be fake that I l’ve ever met. (Apparently she couldn’t assume that I read quite a lot about psychology. It was easy for me to fake being unskilled because she was upper class compared to me). //However the exercise can be helpful. Thanks Mr Greene

[@lyricavidart2025]

Throughout the video, he kept describing me through and through 🙂

[@martagoodrich4912]

English is not my mother tongue I was an interpreter once for few years It was best job I ever had I can totally relate to the total listening Problem is people don’t listen God bless M

[@whyimustusemyrealname3801]

thanks for putting the original talks

[@angelitaputz9946]

I haven’t gotten your book yet but l learned a lot from your messages .

[@phillyphil65]

Honesty! Are those others willing to be Honest? Honest, not so much with the other person but, With SELF! If your Honest with SELF, you can be Honest with others. Social Media and the Impersonal internet world we now live in have made us more interested in “Likes” than “ Reality” and being Real. To thy own self be true! True/Truth means HONESTY. Are you willing to tell the truth as you experience it! Fascinating!

[@islammuradov1]

I am as you, i think as you think since my childhood

[@Audibmwjb]

Don’t forget that some people are, for various reasons, are not interested to reveal about their childhood so those questions come across as crossing a line

[@dkoxperiakoziukov3808]

It's the hard way of living. The very fact of being inclined to it makes me believe I won't accept any betrayal. I have no rights to pretend, but it is what I painfully think

[@tammy6452]

Listen 🎶. Thank you for all the hard work and insight.

[@sabaabid307]

Quite useful tip.

[@stewartthomas2642]

Love your stuff kick on love it

[@jo-d433]

What's the other feeling? What is it? What is so special about this other feeling? What is it? What is it? Can't wait for the answer.

[@hassanrevel]

I'm gonna need some judging from you guys. In University I had a mask that I put on myself of being something that's pretty much what I wanted to be, and no matter how hard I try I just couldn't need take off that mask. When I'm back I would take off that mask. And when I get a call or message I'm always guard up to listen or see in privacy, and was afraid people could find out about me. My university was 15mins distance away from my home B.T.W. In Robert Greene's laws of human nature's chapter 2, Narcissism, Types of narcissist, the theatrical narcissist. He talked about a character who is a theatrical narcissist that's pretty much me back in university.

[@NesterEndirance]

thanks this was a great help for me i am realy self senterd

[@curiousme113]

I do these things naturally.

[@debashissengupta2396]

Others already got into me , so , I don't want to toil to enter into others , only to play.

[@sebastiansimwami727]

The same way others understand calculus better than others, some here.... Same message but we all understand it somehow differently... Yes its that crazy 😅😅

[@rewaneali271]

Rule#1 Trust Nobody Rule#2 Get your money

[@princessak21]

💯🩵

[@island661]

Stop caring so much. It doesn't even matter.

[@nancyrussell6096]

Love your talks, honestly the background music is very distracting

[@snoggingmoise668]

I will never ever understand the point of background music. It's annoying and doesn't add anything. There's good stuff to listen to, don't ruin it with music. I seriously wonder if there's people watching videos thinking "hmmm.. this would have been so much better with background music"..? Sorry for my rant 😄

[@catmar-nf5ho]

To get into somebody's mine is interested for me cuz you never know what they're thinking and how they are

[@danielf8354]

Anyone with empathy will tell you in no uncertain terms, that it is a Curse! It works nothing like what he is saying. It's only bad. It's means other people are not playing by the rules. So they winn and bully and the person with empathy. It's just bad you don't want it !

[@Ot-ej5gi]

Can't one use it for good?

[@amalrajpr6800]

​@@Ot-ej5giits uncontrollable, and weak sometimes to have it

[@naturalbeauty4734]

Agree!! 💯 that energy is heavy!! 🪨 and emotionally draining 😢 RUN!!!

[@Dailymathagulations]

Empathy is a tool for a psychopath, and a broken leg for a highly sensitive person.

[@dearmaria4654]

So here I am interested in other people, now I'm filled with thoughts about what they do and think that I find myself staring :(

[@dallihilmi]

Excellent

[@binibini7975]

Such amazing insight!

[@kentondragon9263]

Dude, probably a good skill to have, but why i know we as a species are screwed, there was a time when we were lockdown and scared of a virus but we had a chance to come together, empathize and help each other, but when it was over we went straight back to being selfish greedy and fickle. Empathize? Empathize with what exactly? 🤔🤷‍♀️🙄

[@Dailymathagulations]

Empathize we live in late stage capitalism and the group psyche is toxic, and some was the 20th century in terms of death and pollution, can’t escape that fact, not the fact that we are heading into some of the darkest ages we will ever experience due to climate change and war, and unfettered cannibal capitalism. See how far empathy gets us, only the strong and cruel (the rich) will survive. 😊 Awn Mawmma

[@djsazon2200]

Yes sir. 😂😂😂❤ I know how 2 do that 😅😅😅😅

[@ghostsheet777]

I was lonely but i became bored enough to grow curious about the people around me, turns out im surrounded by some interesting people, turns out the loneliness i had was from my own arrogance of thinking i was more special than they could comprehend.........😂😂😂😂 Not the case i just lacked appropriate social skills n couldnt actually converse properly and thought it was everyone elses fault 😂 oh to be a fool lol 😅

[@yashtapase3821]

Same case ❤😂

[@marablooms4593]

I’m sure he can’t help it.. but I have issues with sounds. It’s hard for me to listen to his voice because it cracks a lot. I want him to cough or clear his throat most of the videos. I want to hear him because I do enjoy what he’s saying. I have to do captions instead.

[@tinam.9810]

Great tips! Thanks for this video :)

[@LeeAdrian777]

How dare that man take out his phone while interviewing, Robert!

[@elixr7777]

being more self immirsed and finding out the true answers within urself instead if being worried about what other ppl think about u. all u need is those few tools or essentials and the base of good ethics yk being kind being gentle having temperament control ur literally a God atp and nobody can tell u urwrong bc the way God built you your mind the way how u feel u cannot fake it. u cannot tell yourself a lie you cannot tell urself oh i dont like to be treated good so if I tray other people bad" I'm a liar to myself" and that's if ur a liar to urself. which we are not. we are truthful beings and that conciousness that God placed inside us man its inagural which u can't lie ab it bc those times lies like oh " if I got hit on the face I wouldn't feel mad or sum" that's a lie u would feel angry do how equal universal exchange in this last day we can't keep doing this any more killing our brothers or sisters will be prosecuted and punished by God now so we should just stop and be kind. one u get in that comfort zone ur unstoppable and u will live forever

[@martagoodrich4912]

I am a human mother of two males I wish I knew this before Not judgenning God bless us all perhaps just a holly spirit English is not my mother tongue but I love linguistics and parenting

[@innerharmony2475]

Yes 🙌🏽

[@iamwhoiam-bw7cp]

after certain age people are not ready to understand the needs of others.......... all is about me me me me me me

[@manerdrima3555]

Nice one

[@zachpitt9249]

I feel like robert greene slap me in the face by Truth. 🤯 My whole point of view change

[@rburrows7786]

You can learn a ton about someone by just listening to them. Also, something I learned years ago was the ancient art of Chinese face reading. No joke. It’s taught at the FBI and other agencies. I can meet someone and in about 30-60 seconds you will know an unbelievable amount of information about them. The ears, nose structure, eyes, forehead, mouth. And 99% of the time it’s right on the button. Try it. It doesn’t take long to learn and it’s readily available on the internet. You’ll be shocked at how accurate it is in telling about a person without them even saying a word

[@heyy8992]

Somebody teach him the art of staying chill and not to give a fuck.

[@r_lonef]

i hoped there will be no music

[@graceg2716]

Getting a cat changes everythng in a lonely person lives.

[@jeplica7011]

Infp here

[@jeplica7011]

People absolutely hate me. I trigger them and they don't understand me at all, and I can't do small talk, so I isolate

[@nopeno6514]

Get inside of others' people mind? I do this all the time

[@catmar-nf5ho]

I can't get on those sites it's just too much work for me to try to type in somebody's name to get in touch with them over a phone and you can't even talk to them unless you have to get what's up and then it's one thing after another I don't like those apps

[@AnandKumar-zn3ox]

4:13 : childhood

[@A_n_y_t_i_m_e]

Only via mentalization.

[@shankarbalakrishnan2360]

People are nice but now nothing they do impress me big houses big living no guts to think beyond❤❤

[@elixr7777]

yea

[@halohoneydog]

The video is weird with the voiceover

[@claudiamanta1943]

Goodness me, NO! 😱 I am making active efforts NOT to understand or feel the others. It exhausts me. No, I am not your friend. No, I am not your therapist. No, I am not your child or your Mum. Let’s focus on the task at hand. No, I don’t want to manipulate you. No, I don’t want to have power. I just want you and me to do what we are paid for, in a polite way. Boundaries. Fucking boundaries. Let’s make an effort and not spill our personal shit in communal areas. I do NOT care. And the mix of disgust and compassion drives me insane. It has to end.

[@gilliansmith60]

The WEF leader has plans for such an app, its being built right now

[@MichaelSchmidt-wi9be]

Neuroscience may perhaps bring a app out but it would be dangerous

[@kalunginicholas1694]

Red pill 🎉

[@natashajoyy4223]

Why this sad instrumental it's not nice

[@elixr7777]

ye

[@Mako-h5u]

Putting yourself in others shoes is actually sympathy not empathy just saying. Empathic people are born with the trait they feel and absorb others emotions around them. It’s not something they can help with. Because this interferes their brain and decision making, they could be appearing weak and too soft in life. With practice, you can choose to ignore the emotional side what you feel others feel, you can shift your focus to prefrontal cortex and tell yourself it’s not your business unless you choose to practice compassion. Empath is just a born trait in someone who is naturally sensitive to others emotions. It should be glorified. It’s either good or bad. It’s used with a good intention then it’s good. Or it can be bad and even evil.

[@catmar-nf5ho]

You're not going to find it on the phone yo you got to go outside in the world and do it you can't do it on the phone I get stuck with that I can't do the websites it's too much

[@alejandrowarrez7445]

Ahem that sounds like men that I have met, they act like they are the golden retriever of everything. Honestly it's quite sad.

[@DonnellA22]

But you're just using your imagination and unless you actually get to know them. How do you know your imagination is accurate

[@draganapasti_]

❤

[@kenrowland7864]

Get inside the minds of "Other People"???....NO THANKS!!!!!!!

[@bamboscharalambous2910]

😂😂

[@ashunichachei1209]

I wonder why you're even here then.. 🤔

[@dsekou]

The other person is probably thinking that they "need to do something about this wedgie...right now before I lose my daggone mind...they can send rockets to the moon and beyond our solar system but they can't invent a pair of drawers that don't bunch up during a simple , everyday earth walk ...WTF?"

[@elixr7777]

ong

[@rmcd823]

Teaching us how to manipulate, yes. But whatever. Forgiven.

[@ReachingHigher001]

It's not manipulation. It's part of people skills.

[@haroldi.6450]

Youre one of those “the glass is half empty” people. I feel bad for your family and friends.

[@linafalvo699]

Robert is saying UNDERSTANDING, not manipulation. Understanding how people try to manipulate people. Big different here.

[@barbsmart7373]

You didn't get any of the words, feelings, tone, body language or motivation exuding from this incredibly deep, wise man who has lived such an extraordinary life. Perhaps it is just as well if you had a lot of trouble putting yourself into the shoes of others. But you certainly are a great forgiver... plenty of empathy and good will there. As a Jewish descendant, I think very very often about the suffering of so many of my people and the millions of bystanders. And about the many thousands of rescuers who risked their lives to hide Jews... and the thousands of people who risked their lives helping airmen to get out of Nazi occupied territory with their destinations being back on the Frontline...

[@juliettailor1616]

Exactly, but forgiven.

[@kneishaneefrancois]

but be real family f**k us up most 😂😂😂

[@22leggedsasquatch]

There is ABSOLUTELY ZERO evidence that mankind ever experienced a tune without language. This idea is only that: an evolutionary idea... also for which there is no basis. However, try to take on board the essence of what he's saying.

[@vishalpachpande5921]

I think u know too much .....what should I do now

[@pauljay482]

Remove the cringe piano background music from your snippets!