Overcome The Fear of Being Single Forever - Christian Dating

[@precious_muse]

Since you asked, this is my fear. Jesus said in Heaven people are “neither married nor are given in marriage” (Matthew 22:30). Some people quote that verse to be hopeful to single Christians, “Don’t worry about marriage; after all it won’t be in Heaven.” But how can it be hopeful? When I read that, I see it saying, “If you don’t get married on Earth, and you remained pure, then there are things you will never ever EVER experience! You will never know what it’s like to touch, or be touched by, someone of the opposite gender. You’ll never know what it’s like to hold your own child in your arms. Those pleasure will be unrealized for all eternity!” And even if what God has in store is better, will I still wonder what I didn’t have that it seems everyone else did? Jephthah’s daughter mourned for the last two months of her life that she would never be a wife or mother (Judges 11:29-40). Will I go to my grave feeling that same grief?

[@DateRite]

@precious_muse thanks for sharing. If someone uses Matt. 22:30 as a Scripture to be content in singleness that's pretty sad. God made us for relationship. He gave us wonderful desires for intimacy. And a command in the very beginning to procreate. These are real desires given to us by a wonderful God. I got married later in life and I didn't enjoy the many frustrations I experienced as a single man. However, there was a point when I shifted my focus to how I was searching for a spouse and things that i was doing that sabotaged my dating relationships. That's what i teach in my online course. However, I want you to know your fear is real and. it makes you no less spiritual than others. it makes you human. Thanks again for sharing. God bless!

[@RachelNichols-writer]

I believe the same God Who made marriage and children can be trusted when He promises something better in the life to come.

[@1969kellyp]

The difference between here and heaven is we will have that very joy and fulfillment in heaven and in an intimate relationship. The very pleasure in sex is a replica of our union in Christ. We won’t care in heaven cause there will no pain, loneliness, or tiredness. That is why sex is the only pleasure of that magnitude because of what the bible says it represents; the union of Christ and his church. Only here on earth is sex perverted that’s not how God meant for it. Life comes from it.

[@precious_muse]

@@1969kellyp That’s a very nice thought. Do you have Scripture to back it up?

[@1969kellyp]

@@precious_muse there are several verses on Christ being the bridegroom like Matthew 25 and Jeremiah 25, Matthew 22. There is more that say Christ is the bridegroom and the church is the bride. And Revelation 21 describes no more pain or suffering. Complete bliss if there is no suffering

[@1969kellyp]

Yes. My fear is going without sex and intense desire. Because I’m a Christian that is the only part that would be sinful. Not having someone who loves me in that way or loneliness is a big part but not sinful. Plus you can have people like friends and family who love you but that intimate love is not there and it is important to me. I’m married now but we do not live together because he is narcissistically abusive and threatens to leave. I fear he will or I will have to leave or he will replace me. I want people to know that being alone and fearing it is ok you are not stupid or crazy . God says that it is not good to be alone we are meant to be with someone. It’s the world and it’s ugliness that makes it difficult to find that spouse.

[@marcpavlik]

Yup, 55 years old, broken, broke now, was always unatractive Yes, I will die alone. It is not a popular thought. Just do the best you can, to understand that for some reason, God has us alone. Supposedly, I am good looking, have a great heart, have humor....Blah, blah, blah. Heard it all. Revelation 21:4 is a big verse for me. All the tears will be wiped away.

[@DateRite]

That verse brings comfort to so many. Should be our hope yet often the pain of daily living are hard to withstand. My prayers are with you today.

[@HealthglowsNet]

Thank you for this encouraging message!

[@kevindavis4709]

My thing is if God didn’t want anyone single he would’ve made us all physically attractive.

[@DateRite]

hey kevin thanks for your comment. I'm actually going to use that line in one of my speeches. That made me stop and ponder. Thanks for your thoughts.

[@spacenodus7959]

Just like being rich, just a few deserve that

[@johnz4328]

Some fears are based on simple realities like the fear of getting to close to the edge of a cliff ,the fear of lifelong singleness is legitimate since companionship in marriage is a god given desire that never goes away and that unfulfilled desire will hurt you in many ways and you are unlikely to get any great sympathy from most ministries about this, in fact when I look at ministry websites and KZbin videos on singleness most seem geared toward holding off marriage or what’s the big deal if you never get married thinking. I can’t help but believe that the church has become part of the problem and is through extreme societal pressures expecting all the best results for Christian’s who marry later in life or never without ever wanting to be involved in preparing singles for marriage or helping them to marry.

[@DateRite]

@johnz4328 great input. I really like the comparison to fear of getting close to the edge of the cliff. I'm gonna use that when I talk to people. Loneliness and the fear of being single is real and shouldn't be swept under the table or minimized. I too wish the church did more on addressing these issues but from my experience they are busy working on marriages that are failing...that's why i focus on singles before they marry. Thanks for your insights.

[@1969kellyp]

Amen! You said exactly how I feel and you are 100% correct. No one seems to understand. These people that say “work on yourself, you will be better off, wait to find someone, you’re not ready” most of the time they are married. I’m glad I hear someone who understands. Thank you.

[@carloswilliams5850]

I fear of being awkward for being single at 33 im 32 now

[@DateRite]

I've been there. myself and we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves and family does too. Don't make the mistake I made which was to rush into something with someone who not a good fit for me. Seems guys especially are marrying in their early to mid 30s now days. Hang in there!

[@1969kellyp]

Another thing I’d like to add is instead of working on ourselves for ourselves we need to learn how to be a good submissive wife or a loving husband for a future spouse not focus on selfish needs.

[@RachelNichols-writer]

Why bother marrying when you are old? At fifty with my best years behind me, I can't think of one single positive thing to gain from getting married this late.

[@susanbartone1347]

I’m 60 years old, I’m fine being alone. I enjoy my own company. But as one of many sisters, all who got married, I never found that someone so I never married never had kids. I wish I had, but it never worked out. At this age, I don’t see me ever getting married. It’s a part of life. I have missed out on although I do have many other blessings. I enjoy taking my own day trips and going to museums and I don’t have fear or paralysis of eating out alone. But I do wonder, what I simply wasn’t doing well enough to attract that someone else. I have no answers.

[@DateRite]

Hi. Thanks for your response. I'm in my 50s and hope my best years are still ahead. If there is no positive in getting married then marriage sounds like it's not an option. Nothing wrong with being single and God has so many blessing in the single life as well. Hope your week is going well.

[@DateRite]

@@susanbartone1347 No better company than ourselves. I'm glad you found the blessings in our singleness even though there may be curiosity as to why you never married. thanks for you sharing.

[@kevindavis4709]

Not too mention as we age our sexual performance declines. Women they get a total hysterectomy making that much worse she can’t help it though. Yeah that’s the downside it marrying as you’re in your older age. Unless you wanna date somebody young enough too be your child. Or get a woman looking for a US citizenship you they’ll do anything too get the green card.

[@DateRite]

I wrestled with the thought that I might never get married. Then I had a personal breakthrough that changed everything. Have you ever struggled with the thought of being single forever? If so, how do you handle that thought? Share your tips below.