Overcoming Addiction: how to heal through connection

Connection is the opposite of addiction. To understand why can be life-changing...
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In this video, explore with me the concept that connection, not discipline, is the antidote to addiction. Learn how understanding unmet needs and cultivating internal strength can help break free from cravings.
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[@MarkLubel]

Hi George, I have really been enjoying all your videos and teachings. For the past 27 years I have been working as a paramedic. During those years I have seen the damage drug and alcohol addiction causes not just the user, but their family, friends, and society as well. As I wind down my ems career, I have the desire to certify as an addiction counselor to be in the position to try to help those who are struggling. Unfortunately the pay as addiction counselors stinks, but the work is desperately needed. To me that outweighs the pay scale. One of my goals as a substance abuse counselor is to incorporate Buddhist and Toaist philosophy in the way I want to help my clients. I appreciate your insight on this subject! Keep up the great and important work you are doing!!!

[@George-Thompson]

Wow amazing work you're doing Mark. It is really transformative to help people deep in addiction. Sending gratitude to you 🙏

[@MarkLubel]

@@George-Thompson Thank you, George. I am looking forward to transitioning to my new path of helping others on their healing journey 🙏

[@adrianq1240]

Fantastic Mark, suggest you also look into Jud Brewer, e.g. some books the craving mind and unwinding anxiety 🙏

[@MarkLubel]

@@adrianq1240 Hi Adrian, Thank you!!! I will definitely check those out 👍🏻. Very much appreciated 🙏🏻

[@hunter7507]

Real life hero

[@marie22tully10]

I've struggled with addiction to alcohol and yes marijuana. Thank you for your compassionate wisdom on this topic.

[@rafski-travels-1984]

I dealt with my weed addiction by just starving myself of it, I lost sleep but so what I was tired and in pain but so what. Took the edge off it through light exercises and deep breathing. That’s it really. Most people are disconnected be it working a soulless 9-5 without a girlfriend or friends/family. I traveled and lived abroad but as for those trapped in mediocre with a curious intelligent mind then reach out to clubs and likeminded people. I still enjoyed being high though haha that’s life though that’s the Dao, appreciation of what on the face of it might feel mundane like watching the leaves rustling in the trees and saying wow haha, in this way we become more sensitive and alive.

[@UndeadAaronGames]

What's really brutal is when addiction to substances goes beyond psychological and becomes a physical dependency. That's a scary and dangerous place to be. It's unfortunate, but most people and doctors don't understand the difference between addiction and dependency

[@fernandoeastman.3416]

If interested in the subject of addiction try also the brilliant work of Bruce Alexander “The globalisation of addiction “ and Gabor Mate’s “In the realm of hungry ghosts “

[@PeachesCourage]

I LEARNED FROM A PSYCHOLOGY book that addiction is usually based on a person's sense of helplessness And somehow you feel you don't have the stamina to fight anymore Good time to bring this up George Many thanks you embrace the world this way great

[@xiaomaozen]

Great video, George! I think the other side of the coin here is that we - if we are addicted ourselves or not - should always open our arms and hearts for those who suffer from addictions. 🤗❤

[@flordelsur63]

Addicted to drama , addicted to negative narratives towards myself . That’s my thing . I feel the word discipline a bit “stiff” “hard”… Cultivating it is necessary … how to do it if not starting with self love? Where to learn this tools? Gracias George, I’ve enjoyed your talk ❤

[@ZengHuaXiansheng]

Thanks for your advice George. I think that’s a very important topic for me. Fortunately I don’t take hard drugs but I’m definitely addicted to social media.

[@Billyclar]

Cant believe ive only just seen this was uploaded! Thank you so much again for your thoughts on the matter George, has been a huge help for me on this journey!!

[@ArielCaelum-me4to]

Craving sweets is connected to wanting to experience more of the sweetness of life 😁🌷🌧🌘

[@drpranaligawai2722]

Addiction can take various forms, like binge-watching TV, excessive social media, or overeating. Awareness is key. Overcoming addiction is a mental process. As a Buddhist, I found it easier with insights from Taoism. I hope these ideas help others. When making changes, be gentle with yourself. Gradually weaken dominating thoughts.☯💜

[@MrObselly]

Thank you George!

[@katejudson8907]

Really enjoyed your take on this topic George. I want to elaborate on this concept of high standards. As soon as you say high, you introduce a scale of judgement ( high, mid, low ) . I know you talk abut it as aspirational only, but I would like to offer a different self assessment tool, which I think offers a way of significant evaluation of choice while evading that dichotomous, sometimes paradoxical dualism. It is authority. Not authoritarian . Self as author of own decision making and life happiness. And self authority as a divine attribute, rather than ' high standards'. Am I authorising this opening a bottle of wine, or is my fear of xyz right now making up a very potent concoction of reason and logic and supremely misguided conclusions that I am deferring to as my authority to speak to these xyz fears, because sitting with those seems unbearable? Who's giving the orders here on this delivery of walk away versus down the whole bottle? For example, if I have had a stressful event, I feel vulnerable to seeking a food - fantasy fullfillment. When I do that I am connecting with a sensational experience of a treat because the stress has disengaged me from a solid sense of what I need. ( handling stress and returning to centre is something Taichi has helped me to develop, along with meditation ) . So the snack doesn't satisfy my sense of self authority though, because basically I have gone offscript and sought this distracting deliciousness and now I fantasise that it's telling me ' you want this. ' ( think Gollum voice ). I'm suggesting we need to connect with an authentic, dignified inner author who takes the responsibility of being the author of their life seriously, cares deeply about it, and rises to act on it. In the other case deferring to and outer authority, one perhaps we even locate within ourselves but project out there as if it's real, has the right to make choices for us, to disable the inner authority. Hope this helps someone. I believe it starts with knowing you are allowed to have full self authority, and many people who experience drug addiction haven't had that opportunity, as their formation of self was unsupported, or worse - abused, by those loved ones they bonded with, were dependent on, or trusted. So, you can have the highest standards in the world but if you haven't had or developed the solid foundational capacity to self compassion you won't exercise self authority in decision making very well. Calling in discipline will only evoke the authoritarian. The reason is in the word -. Discipline - disciple. When the addiction is taking the lead you become it's disciple. So, perhaps it's not so much discipline that is lacking, but a way to self- own authority , to be self authoritative with love and respect. When there is a vulnerability to defer to authoritarianism, or to recreate yourself as a follower of the addiction, defering to the stabilizing grasp of an authoritarian command to ' do this and it will deliver xyz ' . I think self trust is the opposite of addiction.

[@Shindai]

Dunno. When I try to get off my face it's usually coz I feel very connected with reality and the weight of it is crushing. Only respite I get is when my brain wanders when I'm high.

[@infinitusfinitus]

I repate! The way I've been told to look at it is that the opposite of addiction is connection with people specifically.

[@papapoonpoon]

Speaking from experience, Doaist practice can make a huge difference in overcoming addiction. Perhaps George is too humble to say this, but it needs to be mentioned.

[@jacklonghearse9821]

Alcohol.

[@karllehman5404]

It kinda insulting to mention your addiction to artisanal vegan brownies...talk about another thing...not the word addiction ... thats someones lived exprerience brah

[@philosophyofthestars]

You being insulted is your own issue. He will say what he wants.

[@marie22tully10]

@@philosophyofthestars The ugly side of the Tao is when people use it to be an asshole. I know I know. Me finding you to be a bit of an asshole is my issue. I will own it.

[@OneTheBlue]

@@marie22tully10 I share this assessment with you.

[@henryporter_001]

The way out of Hell is thru It