What Emotions Are You Avoiding?

[@bridgetannanelson6921]

Brutal truth... on the inside I'm so so lonely, and at 63 I find connecting really difficult. It's such an isolating and sad feeling. I cannot be alone feeling like this...

[@Lenneke8422-b3t]

@@bridgetannanelson6921 sending you much love my sweet friend ❤️😘💪

[@rebeccachew2321]

sending love. Reach out also. It can feel so lonely and isolating for real,

[@1STBUCKLEY]

Can relate. We need others 🙏

[@Gabriellekidd]

Sending love. Can relate

[@lorimayo3586]

I feel exactly this way, reach out if u choose

[@kateking3953]

It's a classic TMS personality as outlined by Dr Sarno to cope with everything and keep a cheerful face regardless. Of course! All those emotions become somatised in the body. Bodywork practitioners like Louise Hay list where various emotions land in the body. Even in conventional medicine where I worked for many years, it's recognised that certain illnesses correspond to certain people, like high achievers, or worriers or people pleaser.

[@melissaklein501]

Maybe you weren’t a successful businessman but what an amazing counselor you are! I don’t have adequate words to express how grateful I am for all that you do on here. This is a much higher calling. Thank you for sharing selflessly your life changing information and wisdom.

[@PainFreeYou]

Yes, I am doing wonderful now. At age 33, not so much. haha But thank you. I really do appreciate your kind words of thanks.

[@sarahgriffiths7372]

Theyre called feelings not thinkings. Feel them. Love that

[@EllieJ-kd6dl]

Agree 💯 - "feeling" is key to release/dissipate the emotions charge in the body - not "thinking"..... Emotions are the bodies non-verbal messages to us... ❤❤❤

[@thelaceygirl]

Feel the emotions, but don’t sit in them for too long. This will backfire, in my experience.

[@PainFreeYou]

Yes, exactly. That's why I said stay out of story mode. Ruminating on WHY we are upset will keep generating the emotions over and over.

[@DevelopingChronicillness-u3i]

@@PainFreeYou I get what you are saying but ruminating is actually not staying or feeling the emotion: If you really feel the emotion it will go away on its own. It will only stay longer when you resist it.

[@NicoleFitnessYouTube]

@@DevelopingChronicillness-u3i You are both correct. Ruminating on "Why" we are upset is also RESISTANCE. Anything other than full acceptance of what you are feeling is resistance.

[@JamieR]

This is important point. Dr. Amie taught this in her somatic course as well. Stay out of story, support the body if it's too intense. For me, anger and grief was never allowed. Now I'm great at feeling the grief, but still can't feel my anger and resentfulness. Feel and don't try to attach a story to it has been so soo useful.

[@safeor24]

Doing this with my therapist at the moment - feel the emotion , turn towards it, befriend it, be kind to yourself. They are not things to be gotten rid of . They are part of being human , all emotions are powerful and important parts of us > They are necessary . There is appropriate anger, rage , frustration etc . All there for a reason . It's not easy to switch after 50 years of pushing them away / down. But I believe it can be done .Each time - I'm trying to allow it & over time , I'm sure my brain will respond differently ( not freak out if I feel angry/ frustrated/ anxious / worrying about future ) . This is the journey . Has anyone gone through this and is now out the other side - not being afraid of feeling their emotions ?

[@wildboar3]

I really like this take on it: kzbin.info/www/bejne/p5arhXyvmrCHf6ssi=EiewXyrvLZHXOew6

[@NicoleFitnessYouTube]

I have been working with my psychiatrist on this for about 10 months now (we meet every week). And I can tell you that I have definitely had days where I have not been afraid of feeling my emotions and intrusive thoughts! And then, I have days that suck. "Fear of Fear" is a tough one. But it sounds like you are on the right path! I was repressing emotions for over 13 years - all into TMS hip pain. Once the pain released (thanks to working with Dan in the group and achieving indifference), those YEARS of repressed emotions had no where to go but right to my brain. I was free of the pain, but now. on to a new journey of all those repressed emotions flooding into brain. They had to go somewhere - and I had to quickly turn to my psychiatrist (who also happens to be a Sarno trained TMS therapist). So, YES, you will have days where you say "bring it on, let me feel it!" And those days can feel rough! But, you always have to remember that you are SAFE, nothing dangerous is happening to you and that it will pass. You've got this!

[@safeor24]

@@NicoleFitnessKZbin Thanks for your reply 🙂. Nice to hear that you have times when are not afraid to feel your emotions. Nice to hear someone going through the same thing. I'm delighted to hear that your pain has gone. Mine is mostly gone too - which is brilliant . Now it's the next step in the healing journey. Each time an emotion crops up is an opportunity to feel it. Thanks for your words of encouragement. Best of luck and enjoy your day . 🙂

[@safeor24]

@@wildboar3 I have heard of this Dr Dyer before - my mother in law loves him . He's right about it just being this moment that all we have . Thanks for sharing this video with me . I have listened to the start- looking forward to the rest. have a lovely day / moment . 🙂

[@CP-go1lz]

Great message..exposure therapy..Yes. Safety in one's self. Experience the emotions without the story. Validation and release. You nailed it here. Thank you, Dan.

[@PainFreeYou]

Thank you.

[@HefinaHughes]

Waw, a great video. Thank you. By the 10th minute of listening, I had cried, liked and saved this video to watch again. I’ve heard so many times about feeling your emotions but struggle to find them in my body. When I cry I feel I need a reason to allow myself the tears but today’s cry just happened. Now onto trying to release the other emotions trapped inside me such as fear and anger.

[@staceypollack808]

This is the best so necessary

[@elena7362]

Thank you, Dan, for the reminder that emotions are safe. I find that mini-meditations throughout the day are the key. I started to notice that I am always tense, and every time I catch my body in tension, I remind myself to breathe and relax; it works.

[@lindapelle8738]

Same!!!

[@Lenneke8422-b3t]

Hi Dan my money situation hurts (told you about it) it is even worse then a couple months ago also very angry and sad about it. Cried stamped my feet in the dunes I feel it big time. I have to accept it but..and I will. Because acceptance us the key to all my answers. 😊 this caused also colourful sensations 😢 keep saying when life gets lifey I dont need to hurt ....ty Dan love you ❤❤❤ this video was spot on 🙃

[@jacquelinegolden899]

It's good to feel emotions but also to learn to " step back" so you have a little distance in your mind and not continue to traumatize yourself. Expressive writing is another way to help process emotions. Dr Sarno would ask, "What's bothering you today?" Almost like you're imagining the perfect friend that you can really express yourself to. By the end, you may even start to see a little opening to your difficulties and start appreciating yourself and life a little more.

[@andreaflasher3032]

This video is one I'll being going back to several times to remind myself it's ok to feel these feelings....like trying to keep a beach ball down in water, sooner or later it's going to pop up ❤

[@Hfwest-n4m]

Just got to this one. The story of Dan’s life and failures really got me. I’ve tried with limited success to find therapy to help me with similar failures in a career in the arts. I’ve buried my attendant emotions 30 years, with my symptoms just starting 5 years ago after the isolation of retirement set in, and haven’t been able since to find someone (mind/body) to dig deep and help. Back pain has been relentless, culminating in fusion surgery 6 weeks ago. What’s worse, and mysterious to the entire medical world, is SEVERE gut pain that has me home bound, med addicted, and emotionally devastated. Thank you, Dan. I’m still learning and groping. I pray your endless benevolence will inspire me to persevere, find help, and ultimately relief. Thank you! ❤🙏

[@1STBUCKLEY]

I just try and keep independant. Maybe my life and childhood experiences moulded me. Just listening to you talking and the tears are building.

[@NicoleFitnessYouTube]

Good. Just let them flow. Emotions are safe and perfectly normal and human. They will not hurt you. And they pass. Hug yourself.

[@Bcke14304]

Really appreciated this video, Dan. As I’m getting more in touch with my own emotions, I’m realizing how much those in my household that I care about - do not deal with their emotions. So tempting to say “Watch this Pain Free You video about emotions!” or “Let your feelings about our xyz (finances, etc) come OUT… it’s ok!” But alas - nobody wants to be told what to do or be fixed. Anyone else struggling with seeing how “ other “ people around you are (also) avoiding their emotions?😂 [Perhaps I need to keep focusing on my own self-care and going from there… 😉]

[@francinecasalina8446]

Shalom peace love to you and all , this video was bullseye 🎯 for me in my life present , past …. getting through my human emotions and letting them out & go ! no more pushing emotions away : thank you Dan I really do appreciate you

[@Mozzos]

This is very good

[@kylanmcnichols6525]

This.

[@isdoremd2128]

This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I’ve been telling myself it’s okay for things to be hard

[@26spec]

This video is great Dan, thank you ❤ (Hanan)

[@PainFreeYou]

Thank you so much Hanan.

[@1STBUCKLEY]

I think if I really went there I'd be crying a long time. I think we are all trying to hold sh"" together. No one wants to be a burden.

[@kateking3953]

A lot of people don't cry at all. I've had cancer, lost my home, watched my mum struggle for her life and lose, mourned the passing of many dear friends and wrestled with tough life events over a long life. But I never cry, even if I might like to. I just get on with it. Not as a choice, but this is just how I respond. I've learned, late in the day, to recognise how damaging it's been not to acknowledge and give space to the fact that from childhood on a lot of calls have been tougher than it's reasonable for one individual to be able to bear. And that's damaging. Not because I want to wallow, but because it's been valuable to understand, process and move on.

[@NicoleFitnessYouTube]

Emotions are natural and we don't control them. We don't control our emotions, we don't control our moods - the only thing we can control is our response to them. Emotions are SAFE. They are part of being human. So what if you cry? You are expressing a natural, God given, human feeling. It's ok to cry - it's safe. And it doesn't last forever - it will pass. Just remember - emotions are SAFE and part of being HUMAN. Don't judge yourself for being human - allow yourself to be human.

[@laurablair1061]

My mom passed away Sept. 1st, and her funeral was last Sat. One of my daughters told me that she doesn't want to see me again anytime soon. Every time I talk about her, my shoulder aches. I touch it and breathe. I say out loud: I know. I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm hurt. But I do not hardly cry. At the funeral, people were there for them, not us. It was maddening. "How are you? I know, stupid question." SO WHY ASK IT?? I am a student of Judaism, and they have wonderfully healing traditions for those in mourning. I wish our society allowed for them.

[@Bcke14304]

They’re called feelings, not thinkings :) - so true! It’s hard to allow myself to feel current day feelings - I’m sad and I cry - but hopefully as I do that more often and make it a regular practice, the crying and such can come down….?

[@kateking3953]

Many people live pretty much entirely in their heads, and are very out of touch of what's going on with their body. It's good to come out of the head and into the body, and breathwork is a good way to begin to engage.

[@Gail-u3y]

Hello everyone, yes ive so much emotion and for the most part i keep it locked away as its to much to tolerate, but sometimes times it hits me like a train.. headaches from crying.

[@1STBUCKLEY]

Your brain won't let it stay locked it'll show up somewhere. Let it out. Cry cry and cry more. Sad music films whatever it takes. We need to acknowledge it. 🙏 It's safe

[@Gail-u3y]

@@1STBUCKLEY thank you for your comment oh I will. Its Just a viscous circle I need to get out off , just hard when it's a on going headache. My mum has dimentia.

[@alexandrecouture2462]

Awesome video! Journaling is good for me to vent and release emotions, but it is easy to over-journal, so I better keep it short and relatively quick, or else it may be overwhelming and depressing.

[@PainFreeYou]

That's a great idea!

[@clintsturgill7087]

Awesome

[@michelefinizio6520]

😊 thanks Dan I'm glad you mentioned this I used to have a really hard time feeling my emotions in fact numbing my emotions now I'm getting better in identifying my emotions and expressing them the most important part is not allowing my emotions to control me but to acknowledge them express them and let them go I have to get better at feeling my emotions in my body

[@c.h.mastenbroek9683]

I spoke to a friend before this video. He was crying and felt low. I told him about the necessity of letting emotions be. I now feel like crying myself. It helps a lot usually. I feel also like: how did I come here?

[@HilaryBurtMusic]

Thanks Dan - very useful! You talk about emotions so clearly - maybe you can delve into this a bit more. ie ways of accessing these buried emotions.

[@HilaryBurtMusic]

Actually you have tons of useful stuff on emotions so disregard that last comment! You’ve got it covered I reckon!

[@lsh-zi2lc]

Really feel angry and sad.....😡😞

[@zeusthegreek4664]

This one feels like the DARE response. I thought we were suppose to smile and laugh and send messages of safety to the brain?

[@PainFreeYou]

If we hope to teach the brain emotions are not dangerous and warranting symptoms, we must be willing to feel the emotions. Feeling emotions makes us human and there is nothing wrong with feeling emotions. The goal is to TEACH the brain emotions are safe by allowing them. Avoiding emotions only serves one thing. Teaching the brain emotions are bad. They are not.

[@deelicious1610]

My sister always called me Happy Sick. After 43 years of ongoing stuff, I feel robbed of living a quality life!! Yes, I am angry.

[@faithburns8379]

If I were to do what you say, I would start crying and never stop. Twice in my life I cried 30days and nights; I can’t do that again. And afterwards the symptoms are worse 😔

[@faithburns8379]

However, I agree with Sarno and you, and have experienced success with this work, it’s just a lifetime of work, however.😬

[@macijane236]

I feel like I am experiencing the gut punch though? Like in slow motion, everything you said is happening and it’s so much fear to manage.

[@PainFreeYou]

We counter fear with accurate knowledge and facts. You are not sick or broken. Feel the fear, but then reassure yourself that you are and will be okay.

[@NicoleFitnessYouTube]

There are some people that actually can benefit by looking at the science of fear and understanding the neuroscience of what is going on and why you feel fear. Dan is absolutely right when he says you aren't broken and accurate knowledge is what you need. Sometimes, digging down and realizing that it's this teeny tiny almond shaped part of our brains that is giving us so much fear, can make you step back and think, "THAT little thing is what is giving me all this fear?!" LOL. For some people it can be revolutionary. I know someone who imagines their fear as a cartoon character like Mr. Peanut :-) It adds a bit of humor (the best possible coping mechanism), and doesn't make it seem as scary as you thought.

[@PainFreeYou]

@@NicoleFitnessKZbin Thanks for sharing all that. Hope you are well Nicole.

[@NicoleFitnessYouTube]

@@PainFreeYou ​​​ @PainFreeYou Thanks Dan! I'm on a long journey and boy have I learned a LOT! I was thrilled to come across this video! When my pain released, the repressed emotions had no where to go but to my mind. It's been brutal (and that is a nice term). But I definitely realized that I had been repressing for over 13 years - I was not prepared for the 'aftermath' of losing the pain. I'm so happy to see you talking about this topic - it clearly struck a chord with a lot of folks! Miss you!

[@katierenae4848]

This crazy little admgdyla has caused enough grief that I honestly wish I could just have it removed lol

[@iamjustsaying1]

I was religiously taught to only experience "good" emotions. To feel "bad" emotions meant I wasn't sufficiently faithful. I dont know who might need to hear this, but all emotions are normal and human. Repressing them is going to backfire. I've learned the hard way.

[@lindapelle8738]

Hi Dan, I am new to this channel this is just my third video, I read Dr. Sarno’s book many years ago but really no one was talking about it when I mentioned it I came across blank stares. I never googled to see if anyone was on the Internet actually getting better from it stupid me. Anyway I think your videos are really good and I’m wondering if there’s a video describing your story that you could point me too. Thank you

[@axmmusic-q4s]

I read everywhere that anxiety can cause many TMS like symptoms. Mine being aching and stiff muscles that become painful under excertion. Is anxiety basically TMS as its obviously a mind body thing. Also does anybody else have aching stiffness all over as a main symptom. ?

[@PainFreeYou]

Anxiety is just another TMS / Perceived Danger symptom. The solution is the same for all. Safety. You are not broken. DansFastStart.com - this will give you all the concepts and strategies to recover.

[@axmmusic-q4s]

@PainFreeYou thanks Dan. You are my go-to guy 👍❤️

[@robertwilliams5618]

I have bad stiffness

[@swedensufal]

Yes, I have.

[@DevenCamara]

Dan, do any of your success stories involve an improvement or ending of sleep apnea?

[@michelefinizio6520]

This is the second time I'm listening to your video an anger is coming off anger and frustration angry about the brain not listening frustrated about this going on longer than I expected impatience I don't want these emotions to control me I feel them now my body not sure if these emotions are making my muscle tightness worse I'm not going to hold on to these negative emotions of frustration and impatience and anger

[@UneAnglaise-p3x]

Hi Dan, I joined your group coaching program a couple of weeks ago. You've mentioned allowing yourself to feel your emotions a few times. I am overwhelmed with emotions all the time. I am crying all the time and that in itself feels painful inside. There is a measure of relief afterwards until the next bout of emotions. In this video you said that that could be the narrative behind the emotion. What does that look like and how do I stop that if that's what I am doing? I have so many questions and this was one of them. I needed this video this morning. Thank you Dan xx PS I was never allowed as a child to show emotion. If I did, I was given something to be emotional about

[@FrunkeHandalisat]

That’s ok. Surrender to your emotions. Let them be. If it gets overwhelming, maybe get busy for a bit or think positive thoughts like I’m alright, be thankful for the sunshine or whatever. Being thankful calms the nervous system and makes happy in my experience:)

[@Gail-u3y]

@UneAnglaise-p3x I'm new to this too. You sound like how I am with the emotions. Just wanted to say you aren't alone and i wish you well on your the start of your journey.

[@UneAnglaise-p3x]

@@FrunkeHandalisat Thanks for the advice :)

[@UneAnglaise-p3x]

@@Gail-u3y Aww thank you. Good to know I'm not alone. All the best to you too on this journey xx

[@Gail-u3y]

@@UneAnglaise-p3x thank you 🙂 I hope we both will be able to come back in a few months with good news xx

[@deniseealy4253]

When I start feeling hopeless when symptoms are high I cry. Then I feel guilty because I feel I am delaying my recovery. Is crying a freak out or not?

[@PainFreeYou]

It is fine to cry. But try not to ruminate on the sadness about symptoms and live in that emotion all day long.

[@deniseealy4253]

@@PainFreeYouthanks Dan❤️

[@anjash6169]

🙈😭😭❤

[@Gabriellekidd]

❤

[@zekereenbeker6490]

It s true but difficult , because for the new/good mindset you/I have to force a cheerful mask somerimes. So I do this because I want to give myself A message of safety (while in the meantime I feel shit) …So first feel and after the 😁?

[@angelamartin7885]

I’m having a hard time enjoying things I used to. I wake up feeling anxious, which brings on worries. My husband said I need to stop talking about it.

[@anjash6169]

I feel sorry for you Angela, it sounds like you’ve to do this on your own with little support of your husband? The symptoms you’re talking about no longer enjoying things, are you feeling depressed? I send you a big hug to cheer you up a little❤. Stay strong.

[@jessicanilsson5941]

Unsafe , caregiver