Parent's Trick That Messed Children Up

[@Mivtee]

"Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserve a child." -some wise person

[@Noturmom123]

Wow, I like that, wow,omg,wow, good job, I like that so much that I’m out of breath just inhaling.

[@JP.09.]

True, children are pure and innocent. It's the adults and media that make us humans the way we are.

[@Deleted669]

My parents all deez things and I’m fine 💀

[@Noturmom123]

@Madison Greenlee wha…

[@Noturmom123]

@Madison Greenlee lol DEEZ NUTS ohohohohohohohoohh

[@choryllis6646]

The whole, "but he really does love you" hit me hard because that's what my mom would always say about my dad. He would constantly say I wasn't strong enough, wasn't smart enough, would get so irrationally angry over the seemingly smallest of things, and even punish me for things I didn't do. Or, if he was in a good mood, he'd make jokes about the family that sounded like it was coming from a bully. I remember being 13 and he laughed that I was getting a third piece of garlic toast and he called me "thunder thighs". That destroyed me and I just ate less and less at dinner because, if I was the first one done, I could leave the table and go do dishes instead of having to be around him. I did my best to not let it fester into an eating disorder, but I did develop a snacking habit. And what makes it worse is that my mom magically forgets everything and goes on pretending that it doesn't happen in front of her, or that he does it to her as well. It really just made me realize that I can't trust her to support me around him because she's going to play "peacekeeper" and pretend nothing is wrong or immediately forget it.

[@snowyhudson975]

this resonates very powerfully with me. i got the same, but not from my adoptive parents, rather, from their flying monkeys. they'd have all of their adult friends tell me later on, after being on the receiving side of their cruelty, that "you know, you're parents REALLY love you!" i mean, what the hell is this? you need your friends to convince me i'm loved? what, coz you aren't very convincing? wow. pathetic. i cut them out of my life and will never look back. i figure the best revenge is my silence when they lay dying and i'm not anywhere to be found. they'll get the message. i think my cutting them off during COVID spoke nicely to the issue. clearly saying i don't care if you live or die or how scared you are about dying drove that point home.

[@DakotaEXE-vc8wv]

My cousin who’s about a year younger than me always liked teasing and "jokingly" trying to beat us up and getting royally pissed if we fought back and teased us when we cried. "Us" refers to my other 2 cousins and my sister. And I get told stuff like "He really does care about you." Like- it sure as hell doesn’t seem like it. Now that I’m a bit taller, older, and (maybe) stronger than him, he doesn’t mess with me (also cuz he knows I have a knife on me and I will stab him), but he’s still a douchebag that needs anger management and a smaller ego.

[@Sandwich_formula_one]

This has nothing to do with this but 13:31 I can relate to

[@SarafinaSummers]

So being called thunder thighs isn't, isn't ok? My gods, I need to unpack some stuff and do the dishes. Excuse me for a while.

[@twilightsparkle75]

i still remember the first time i shaved and i showed my pretty absentee dad, and he said "you did a bad job, boys don't trim their sideburns that high up, look like a girl"

[@Hollow-Indigo]

Telling your kid “they only bully you because they have a crush on you!” fucked me up big time. made me stay in a relationship that made me feel awful for three years. I refused to be the one to leave because it doesn’t matter if what she said hurts, because i thought it was all a part of love. boy am I glad she was broke things off, because otherwise I don’t think I ever could’ve thanks to this saying. so, don’t teach your kids that abuse means love

[@Annagiraffelover77]

I'm sorry you had to experience that, I stayed in an mentally abusive relationship for about a month before I decided to break up with my ex because he was being so pushy.

[@pyjama_critic]

The thing I really can't get about that excuse is that even If it were true, that still doesn't mean it is acceptable way to treat you. A reason for bullying, or any kind of poor behavior, is not the same thing as an excuse. I used to get told the kids who were bullying and beating me are "just jealous" because I'm from a rich family, that may well have been the case but knowing that didn't solve the problem. The answer for both of these excuses should be the same. "I'm not looking for a psychological evaluation, I just want an adult to intervene and stop the abuse."

[@RoseQuartz-fe4xv]

I was told this in third grade and knew something about it was off. They shouldn't be mean if they loved me. Then in 8th my "friends" were physically bullying me and I convinced myself that they were actually friends with me and I wasn't just there for them to push around.

[@Kingklown_YT]

It frisk

[@A-Clear_View]

Well I think you took it wrong depends on age I gues

[@stonecoldracing6]

The first story about teasing kids for having crushes or being crushed on is something that resonates with me. I was scared to even purse a girl until college, and even now at almost 24, I’ve had only 1 meaningful relationship. It’s actually made me less confident and so worried about picking someone who’s good enough for my parents; even if that sounds astatine.

[@Andrew_fzbrfrtz]

I am scared of admitting my crush to my parents in fear of being teased. My friends are good tho.

[@pineapplecat7908]

I once had a best friend (who was a male; I am female) and we hung out together. I never had any dating intentions with him, yet I was taunted for an entire year by all the boys in the grade about him being my "boyfriend". I actually ditched him as a friend bc I was too worried I would continue to get teased. That was a mistake, I made up with him (I still feel really bad about it). I hate when people spread rumors about this sort of stuff or even mention it. To the people who do/have done this, here's a message: *People want to make friends. Let them make friends, no matter the gender. We don't appreciate you sticking your opinion in middle of our friendships.*

[@JawVFX]

Yah it’s fucked. My brothers are now teens so I told my parents like, don’t even bother getting into it, like it’s just their experience and there’s nothing you can do to help them, quite the contrary. It fucked me up surprisingly bad tho, like many other things. Parenting should be fucking taught.

[@snowyhudson975]

totally with you on this. my very first date EVER was with another 14 year old. we were going to see a school play. my adoptive mother made a melodramatic production out of it, gushing about the two of us going out, out came the camera, the flash, her squeals of delight. i never went on a date while in high school, again. i refused to go to prom, even though asked by arguably the most beautiful human being i'd ever met. that woman who considered herself my mother had broken me. i was so aghast at her attention on that first date, her prying into something profoundly personal and making it some kind of public act, that i couldn't bear enduring further humiliation. needless to say, i am no longer so self-conscious. then led to now. now? i'm fine. but it took a while, when it never needed to. i haven't spoken to that woman in years and never will, ever again, now that i don't have to.

[@alastor6673]

I get what you’re saying, I think most of us do, being teased for having relationships, my first girlfriend and I went to Homecoming together and my mom and stepdad dropped me off and then everyone went inside to take pictures. The picture I have of us from all that time ago is very sad, but the tension in that room between my parents and hers was scary. I guess my Mum did NOT like her family and found them rude, while her Dad thought I was a joke. Afterall that we get to the dance and she leads me around all over the place showing me off, we were cocky and young, but towards the end of the dance she refused to be near me because her “Mom was picking her up and might see us together” We were literally going to the dance TOGETHER, her mom knew, everyone knew, her parents were very protective about their little girl. This story ends with her breaking up with me a few months later because I’m quite “Acting weird” and then she hooked up with a junior and was labeled the school sl*t for a month or so. I guess she learned her lesson.

[@LyricaSilvan]

What drives me crazy is people who teach their kids to keep their concerns and issues to themselves and not talk to people about them. I have friends who struggle as adults to share when they have a problem, because they were trained to believe that any problems or worries they had were to be kept private and never addressed directly. My best friend of over 15 years only started learning to feel comfortable sharing her feelings/concerns with people she trusts within the last few years, because her parents taught her it was "wrong" to talk about things. It's so hard to watch someone struggle in silence and refuse help because they've been made to think it's not okay to vent or ask for help.

[@angelbellmore2407]

My mom raised me like this and im 17 terrified to ask anyone for help with school work

[@IamTHEoneANDonlyUNCLEzeus]

I am the same why… and to this day i still sit in silence instead of asking for help I should probably do something about that

[@Jess-du3hc]

Same happened to me a week ago. Had a bad anxiety episode and was visibly upset, my best friend tried to coax the problem out of me and ask what's wrong, but I just closed up, I said it didn't matter even though I really did want to tell her. It made me feel silly that I could have such problems so I said nothing.

[@TrinityLipscomb]

Story 6 was pretty much EXACTLY how I was raised. I was always told "Oh your so dramatic" and " drama queen". I was a very smart kid and excelled very well in school. But my parents never seemed to be proud. The first time I got a B on my report card I cried myself to sleep for DAYS. Same with other big tests and stuff. I kept a lot of emotions bottled and developed anxiety. I would bite my nails as a coping mechanism. My mom then put some chemical on them so it would taste horrible when I did. Not only did This cause me panic and stress but it also made every food i ate for the next week taste bad. I also used to laugh in awkward positions to cope. Like being bullied, embarrassed, etc. I began to make fake friends So I wouldn't feel so alone. That didn't really help, Just gave false comfort. I would cry myself to sleep or stay awake till' early morning. like 2-5 hours of sleep. I would develop dehydration migraines, and It doesn't help that I'm anemic. ( Low Iron ) I was very talkative and enjoyed sharing stories. My parents would often just cut me off with their own conversation or just tell me to be quiet all together. Not because they had something important to say but because they just didn't want to hear it. Once I got punished for doing something childish or what ever, My parents always told me to hug them even when I'm mad because you never know when they'll die. I kiss my mom, and go to kiss my dad. he moves away ( unintentionally) I walk away to my room ( didn't kiss my dad) He calls me back in an aggressive tone. Instead of hugging me and telling me he's sorry and didn't mean to, He YELLS at me for not kissing him and FORCES ME TO KISS HIM. My mom sat there and did nothing. Still hurts me to this day. ( BTW I was 12)

[@Somny44]

Man that sucks, I’m sorry.

[@weegeenumberone2]

Thank fuck my parents werent like this But this happening to so many people just feelsbadman.jpg

[@Digicara64]

I'm so sorry man. That must've hurt so badly. I hope you're doing alright. Do you still love your parents after this? I'd imagine not, but I can't know for sure.

[@kosuken]

Bro we loved the same life

[@apandamanda1552]

I lived through almost every single one of these and wow does it hurt to hear it all laid out. As for the "covert incest" thing, it can be a lot worse than just talking about finances with your kid. Usually it's more about using your children as an emotional crutch. My mom has a ridiculous list of mental issues including ptsd and depression, and since I was just a tiny child, I was her rock. She would cry in my arms, recounting her horrific traumatic past to me in way too much detail for a small child. She would tell me how much she hated herself, how she felt like a failure as a mother because all of her children hate her, and even expressed suicidal intentions to me. It got so bad that one time when I was in my early teens, during one of her usual meltdowns, she grabbed her gun from the table next to her desk and I had to wrestle the gun out of her hands and hide it from her until my dad was home to take it from me and put it somewhere safe. On top of that, I wasn't really allowed to have my own feelings. All of my emotions were dismissed as just a dramatic little kid, and if I was anything but happy, I got a lecture about me having a perfect life because I wasn't raised by their parents and I was just being ungrateful because "there are starving children in Africa," so because I had a roof over my head and food on my table, I have no right to complain about anything. Because of all this, I spent my entire childhood ignoring my own needs in favor of supporting everyone else. I was praised for being so strong and mature for my age, but I was really just burying my emotions the entire time because I had learned that my needs weren't as important as everyone else's. This led to a lot of issues with setting and enforcing boundaries and a lot of self-sacrificing behaviors as I was always more worried about pleasing other people than taking care of myself, and that made me extremely vulnerable to all kinds of abuse. It's been so bad that when my only grandfather died, I didn't feel a shred of emotion for myself. My first thoughts were "Is my dad okay? Is my sister okay? I need to check on them" and it tears me up inside that I was so worried about whether my family was taking the news well that I never gave myself a chance to process my emotions and grieve. Moral of the story: Children are NOT therapists. Go find an actual therapist, and while you're at it, get one for your kid too. Kids have feelings, no matter how irrational they seem.

[@tcrpgfan]

Been there, and it got a little more than covert vibes wise and made me glad I GTFO by the time i cut contact.

[@apandamanda1552]

@@tcrpgfan I'm glad you got out too. It's a horrible situation to be in

[@KristenGaming_]

Been there and am still there

[@hootoftheowl.]

Oh yeah I went through similar feelings but it was due to something different

[@apandamanda1552]

@@KristenGaming_ I really hope you get out of that situation. Stay strong, hun. I wish you the best 💖

[@StunningC1921]

My sister who is 6 always sings gibberish and literally isn’t words and whenever she does it for more that 2-3 minutes I tell her to stop it’s annoying, I didn’t know that it’ll break her down in the future. I feel so bad. Now that I’m thinking I remember my parents doing that to me about dancing and singing. Thank you for sharing whoever wrote that.

[@crispychips7822]

yupp

[@lowgpu1687]

It really doesn't, there is a point where someone actually has to shut up and respect others, doesn't mean they will feel depressed and broken inside..

[@imati7319]

@@lowgpu1687 exactly. this person wasnt doing ANYTHING wrong

[@maxwhite8616]

We all make mistakes my friend

[@imati7319]

@@maxwhite8616 but the thing this guy did wasn't a mistake

[@lazyshadow5027]

I think what definitely fucked up my life is the fact that my parents played favorites, in a far worse way than you would usually expect. I was blamed for everything so often that my parents even admitted that they say my name on accident when something goes wrong. I was often bullied throughout elementary school which absolutely destroyed my mental health and capacity for emotion. I was even told how I was so upbeat back in the day. Frankly, I don’t even remember when I was that way. All I remember is the constant bullying, mistreatment on the teacher’s part and my parents’, and even their abuse. My brother was pretty much held on a podium, which made things even worse. He would make A’s all the time while I would make C’s. I was constantly compared to my brother in that regard and it was extremely degrading. They never questioned why I would make B’s and C’s so often, that in fact was their own fault on top of my ADHD. It got so bad, in fact, that I would constantly have nightmares about my dad yelling at me and punishing me, and sometimes I woke up screaming. This was all during my elementary school years, at least the worst of it. I also had suicidal thoughts and even constantly imagined taking a kitchen knife and slaughtering my entire family during that time. I was that traumatized. Thankfully it’s a lot better, but my parents could still use some work. Middle school wasn’t much better. I had a lot less bullies, but this time I had a “friend” that was definitely not normal. Not only was he an extreme narcissist, but he was really good at manipulating my brother into thinking I was the bad guy. It didn’t help that he had OCD as well. So he would do all of this really degrading shit while no one else noticed, right in front of my brother. He even forced me to admit when I was wrong even though I wasn’t. Now that I’m familiar with some more terms, that was definitely some really crazy gaslighting. Thanks to the shit I’ve been through I’m not quick to anger. I might display frustration, but that’s the most anyone will get. There was one day where I had enough and proceeded to 1v2 him and my brother at the same time. I got so pissed that I couldn’t feel a thing the entire time, no matter how many punches they landed. Unfortunately the fight was ended by the counselor, who didn’t understand a thing. High school wasn’t much better until my senior year. I still had suicidal thoughts from time to time which was not fun in the slightest. In the last semester of my senior year I was going to write a comment on Reddit regarding what happened during middle school. Unfortunately, I copy-pasted it into google docs on my student account, which detects some key words. I was brought up to the counselor’s office and lied about the whole thing, saying someone probably accessed my account to say those things. But I wouldn’t have gotten through it without my friends. They uplifted me and supported me every step of the way and I can’t thank them enough. I even got invited to one of their graduation parties, which was a blast. When I got distinguished honors at graduation my mother asked me why my brother didn’t get it too. Can’t you just let an achievement be mine. I’m in college and they still do this. When me brother told them he made B’s and C’s they comforted him, but when I made A’s and B’s, while explaining to them that I had an absolutely horrible semester, they still shunned me for it. I’m currently breezing through calculus 2 and all of my other classes while he made a 40 on his first calculus 1 exam. He’s even got a damn tutor. I haven’t studied for years and I still got a B in that class (calc 1), and that’s with me during that clusterfuck of a semester. I’m still not recognized for my achievements by my parents to this day. Hell, I’m still pissed that my dad has never said that he loves me, just my mom. He’s said that he’s proud of me, but only once or twice. If you reached the end, thanks.

[@Duckbusinessman]

Imagine spending the time making this post and not getting any user reaction.

[@lazyshadow5027]

@@Duckbusinessman Damn, I forgot I posted this lmao. And anyway, it only took 5-10 minutes, so I don't get your point.

[@Duckbusinessman]

@@lazyshadow5027 I’m just playing around. So there really isn’t a point. I was just surprised nobody commented on this with how long it was

[@pip2505]

That's fucked up, I hope your doing well now

[@imanelms7356]

same here ,my brother was my first abuser ,beat me tell lies ,getting screamed at smallest things ,when i tell my parents ,they tell i'm the problem and i should stay away from my brother way..many years later ,i know that i was an accident and they only wanted one "boy " ...all these years i was treated as maid to everyone (i never went outside without them bcus i'm a girl )take my phone to search it stalking my accounts on social media ,destroying my door handle so i don't close it ..mind u they only treated me this way

[@Blehblehbl]

Don’t ever. Ever tell your kids “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” I was told this several times growing up by my mom and all it did was teach me to not be vulnerable in front of anyone, especially her, or I’d get yelled at and threatened. It also made me resent crying at all, even when I’m entirely by myself. I’m 15 now and going to therapy because of the things she’s done and said and am slowly realizing how much she and others have traumatized me, it’s getting easier to stand up for myself now and I can tell my family doesn’t like that I’m more outspoken and less inclined to just let them abuse me. EDIT: I’m terribly sorry for the people who’ve continuously had their emotions invalidated, that isn’t healthy and I’m so sorry some of you had to find out from me that it isn’t normal or healthy. I hope y’all get the help and support you need and end up in a better environment

[@THCreaper]

my family did this when i was growing up and now i physically cannot show emotions anymore (as in sadness) and i havent considered going to therapy but im going to now realizing how tramuatized i could be

[@user-pb2zf8xx3u]

I dont see anything wrong with that. Your mother was raising you correctly so that you wouldn’t end up being a crybaby

[@Ethereal_Spectacle]

@@user-pb2zf8xx3u wtf

[@Yippee-k4u]

My parents do this to me and my siblings my siblings are still super young. I try not to show emotion or cry near my parents.

[@pineapplecat7908]

@@user-pb2zf8xx3u I can tell you're an eight year old behind the screen because it does not work like that at ALL, all it does is teach young children that displays of regular human emotion is wrong and it's a crime to be vulnerable in front of anyone (or even yourself). The way you're imagining it is if it were some kind of off-and-on button where the person only cries if it's necessary (as people are supposed to) and not crying when it's not necessary. But the way some kids' parents raise them is by teaching them to block out any emotions whatsoever. The result is not a person who is normal and not a crybaby, it's a severely traumatized person who thinks all their emotions are illegal. After this entire paragraph, I have only one thing left to say: For the sake of future generations, please don't have kids. Like, ever.

[@IronStriker-2407]

For me, I believe parents should teach children to defend themselves and stand up for themselves. I was raised to always call for an adult, but these days that isn’t an effective solution and it really won’t be effective when that child becomes an adult. Now I find it difficult to stand up for myself and others and I’ve grown up with a lot of social anxiety. There’s a quote that I read in a book that really opened my eyes to this. “A boy who won’t stand up for himself becomes a man who can’t stand up to anything.”

[@qlder0284]

_“A boy who won’t stand up for himself becomes a man who can’t stand up to anything.”_ Apparently that quote's from a book called "The Kite Runner" (according to Google that is). It's so true though. I'm an Australian zoomer and back when I was in primary school, our teachers also told us that we shouldn't defend ourselves if we got punched or kicked by some ratbag because "two wrongs don't make a right" and that we should "go and tell the teacher" instead. (Just out of curiosity, if you don't mind me asking: what nationality are you?) _"These days that isn’t an effective solution."_ It was NEVER an effective solution. EVER. The ratbags never experience any real, natural repercussions for their actions and the kids that gets picked on keep getting picked on, until it's far too late that is.

[@IronStriker-2407]

@@qlder0284 To answer your question, I am American and have had more than any fair share of bullying throughout my school years. It was relentless, day in and day out I was mocked, ridiculed, and even hit by other students. I stood up for myself one time and it got me into trouble. After that I stopped defending myself and just dealt with it and tried to lay low. Now I’m a high schooler with social anxiety and difficulties socializing with others, fearing further ridicule I isolated myself from the world around me and turned to a very anti-social way of life. I distanced myself from my parents and old friends and spent lots of time sleeping in and slacking. But within the past 2 years things have been looking up, I met a friend group that accepts me for who I am and really helped gain a lot of confidence, I got into a relationship with a good friend of mine that I was crushing on in middle school and we’ve been together for nearly 2 years now. I got a job and have been taking steps to improve my health and personal hygiene. Once I get into a good habit of cleaning up well I plan on working out to become more confident with my body.

[@JP.09.]

@@qlder0284 I was also bullied quite a lot because of my looks and background as a kid. My mom always told me to ignore all of that and be quiet, not make a big deal out of it. This is why I never feel confident in myself no matter what I do or achieve. I also struggle from social anxiety and I'm constantly afraid if being judged or disliked by people. This is why I seek harmony in people and groups and try not to disrupt it or state my own opinion too much.

[@WWLinkMasterX]

I mean, they tell you this because they don't want you to defend yourself as an adult either; they want you to call the cops. Don't fight back, don't own a gun, don't be a vigilante. Only depend on the cops. Consider the cases where people go to jail for mis-applied self defense, or for attacking a cop they thought was a burglar, or getting shot by cops because they thought they were the perpetrator when trying to defend themselves. In that light it actually is sensible advice, unfortunately.

[@AramatiPaz]

My parents always spanked me just by the mere suspicion I hurt my sister or cousin or anyone. (I actually never hurt anyone intentionally) . Then when they realized I was suffering bullying they started to yell that I should defend myself and "if someone hit you in school we will hit you the triple" . Too late, I already had developed a block that prevents me to react whenever someone do something against me.

[@ermtea]

My Girlfriend's parents are super strict, controlling, and manipulative. They do about almost more than half of what the stories in this video describe. They still treat her like a child, and they don't respect privacy at all. They took off her bedroom door, they go through her phone on a daily, and they recently searched through her entire room and disguised it as a "remodeling". She of course, got in trouble for some of the things she had in her own room. Me and my GF are literally fighting to stay together because her parents are finding every little excuse to break us up.

[@enaznonnac9602]

Jesus Christ have mercy, that's horrible! I hope your girlfriend gets a chance to move out and cut ties.

[@organeater32]

fr@@enaznonnac9602

[@ranchonbagel]

Can definitely relate to the “my parents treat me like a child” one. My parents have always dismissed and shamed anything I’ve said to the point where I am unable to hold a normal conversation without them denying what I say - like I’m not allowed to have any opinions or emotions. They treat me like I am far below them, and it has caused me to become very closed off. I don’t share what I feel with anyone because I fear they will respond the way my parents do. I invalidate and shame myself for my own feelings; tell myself I’m a brat for being proud of or starting to love myself, I’m overdramatic for crying about something, etc.. ultimately convincing myself that I’m incredibly inferior to my peers. It’s a horrible feeling, and I have been going to therapy for quite some time but it’s hard to fix this mindset and quit bottling everything up.

[@sera5m]

Relatable

[@ngcool4112]

average PTSD

[@nolanwolf5575]

My mom is the queen of “you are a kid so you are stupid and your opinions don’t matter” Very relatable

[@imahumanbutichosetobeapota5479]

wait isn't that normal?

[@Persephone3.14]

​@@imahumanbutichosetobeapota5479 no.

[@justagiitch8562]

Issues I found in my parents are: - invalidating emotions/ ‘your emotions don’t matter’ - perfect or nothing - making me their therapist - their needs are more important than mine - dad taking advantage of us because we wont speak up for ourselves, my mom saying ‘it’s ok. he has the right to.’ - blame me for everything whenever i try to tell them something. For example, when i used to get bullied, they straight up blamed me, saying i was probably the one bullying them first wnd they were just defending themselves. - no enthusiasm, joy or any type of expression that they r happy whenver i accomplish smth big or small those are some

[@TheRedMan77]

Those aren't parents, just shitty roommates who just happened to give birth to you.

[@God-of-canine]

''some'' good luck to you bud

[@sirgagwain5851]

Hope u can get out of there soon

[@rush2325]

"some"? I'm sorry, but I need you to _elaborate_ on that.

[@doge2584]

mein gott

[@CantankerousCatti]

I can relate to the not having them do chores thing, but with a bit of a twist. My mom wouldn't give me specific chores to do, but she would constantly complain that I never helped out around the house. And she never taught me how to properly clean anything. Anytime I actually tried to help out, I would be yelled at for not doing whatever chore I was attempting correctly. How was I supposed to know what to do when she never told me? I remember one time in particular when - unprompted - I grabbed a Mr. Clean eraser and started scrubbing all of the scuffs out of the kitchen floor. All the while my mom was talking to a family friend and once again complaining how I never helped out around the house. I was so frustrated and bursted out near tears: "I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor, mama! What do you want me to do??" Instead of giving me an answer, her and her friend laughed. I didn't learn how to clean properly until my late teens.

[@Lylactal]

fr fr real shit

[@Reddish_Person]

man thats screwed up , i hope you are better now

[@RoseQuartz-fe4xv]

I relate sm. I get super anxious in any situation where I'm expected to help out, because I'll either get yelled at for not doing anything, or for doing it wrong.

[@mochixmelodii]

I relate to this

[@jokerofspades-xt3bs]

this is what my parents are like, the only thing i learned how to do was put trash bags in trash bins

[@my.fav.no..is.12.point.9]

I cried while watching this. Especially the “bottling up emotions” stuff. My mum never let me cry, and I’m also a female so it doesn’t make up to gender standards. I had to lock my door to cry silently. During the era that techno died, as every normal person, I cried a lot. My dad yelled at me because “I was watching videos promoting death” wth…

[@deletodraw1944]

Stereotypes are bullshit, crying is a natural human reaction to coping, telling someone to "not cry" is akin to saying "Make like a robot and feel nothing"

[@bobbyburgess6337]

"Everyone normal person, I cried" Bruh I didn't cry about some guy dying of cancer XD

[@my.fav.no..is.12.point.9]

@@bobbyburgess6337 I swear if you’re referencing to Technoblade-

[@ApenasUmIdiota]

@@my.fav.no..is.12.point.9 I mean, i didn't cry, neither felt anything, never watched his content so... Only knew about his death because of a A-Train meme

[@Jahito_EBT]

@@bobbyburgess6337 *is an "XD" really the appropriate face here?*

[@mickeymouse7146]

My father loved to jump scare me growing up and he still does, even when I told him many times to stop. It went from me just genuinely getting jumped scared to me adapting a hyper vigilant state 24/7, it also has me extremely anxious whenever he just in the same room as me. Now when there's sudden movement or sudden loud noises is sends me into a panic, and my dad doesn't seem to understand that he's one of the main causes for my me having anxiety and anxiety attacks when scared out of no where. If your child tells you something you do is bothering them or to stop LISTEN TO THEM.

[@Robynhoodlum]

I feel this in my soul. I'm sorry you had to deal with this too. Boundaries are important.

[@neriothefurry]

i agree, but i think it also goes the same way for asking a parent to do something. like while i was in primary/secondary school, i always got good grades, but my sister didn’t do quite as well as me even though she studied all the time. whenever my sister got an A on an exam, my parents would congratulate her. however, when i got an A, my parents just ignored it. when i told my parents i wanted them to at least say “good job” when i got a near perfect or perfect grade, they just said, “oh, [name], you’re always doing so well, so it’s not as important when you get a perfect score as when your sister does.” this really messed me up and now, whenever my friends congratulate me on achieving something or getting a taking a good opportunity, i always get this guilty feeling in my stomach like they shouldn’t be happy for me because i “always do well.” at least, according to my parents years ago.

[@Robynhoodlum]

@@neriothefurry By asking your parents to acknowledge your achievement, you were setting a boundary. Boundaries are not always about what NOT to do, they are about the rules of engagement for your relationship.

[@bloodybeast2442]

@@theatrequeen9274 . My dad was horrible went about raising child, my brother once told me when i was complaining about dad's behavior on me he say that he got tied on bed when he was playing with friend instead going to afterschool. And that time i realized my dad is terrible and i respect all my brothers for have strong mental resistance, like holy s**t if i am the last child and he before me how the oldest get treated when he's young. Mind as well my dad is a teacher FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, also he's still blasfull ignorance as he ever was like never accepted someone sugestion except from the expert or got failed/injured when doing something and, he got short temper while doesn't pay close attention when told something

[@glibglorb1268]

Sounds like your just a weak little bitch. Try having parents who were both in the military and come back to me.

[@affogatotiramisu]

That “finish everything on your plate” go to me. Not because of extra weight, but rather quite the opposite. I’ve always had a small appetite and I’m a picky eater, so naturally I didn’t eat much. My eldest brother was also a picky eater but my mother never done the same things to him that she has to me. She sometimes would threaten to take me to a hospital saying they would put tubes in my mouth and force-feed me. She’d also tell me to finish everything on my plate and now I’m left with memories of being alone at the dinner table in the dark, two hours later, with the food still on my plate and dried tears. Yeah, I never finished the food. My mother honestly convinced me I had an eating disorder. I was like six.

[@FridayDay030]

I didn't know there was a name for what my mom did. It seriously screwed me up, she always came to me complaining about my dad, saying he's not a man, and telling me about their marriage problems. I was just a child, I'm the youngest too. There's so much they did, religious stuff but also neglect, but constantly being a therapist and seeing how unloving there relationship was really screwed me up. Life would have been better if they divorced.

[@waterdroplet5594]

I don't know if divorce would help actually. Because then you have to go to court all the time and try to schedule times you want to see your parents and sometimes they just take you away from your parents until the other one gets enough money to go back to court if they are not happy with the situation. My parents are divorced, and it is so hard because not only does my mom say terrible things about my dad, he says terrible things about her, and then they say that in the past something awful happened, and both sides tell me different things :(

[@mysticzebra5421]

We are the same you and I. I'm the youngest and my mothers therapist. She's constantly coming to me about her problems to the point where it feels like there is no room for mine. I'm the listener, that is my only purpose. I was always told that I had an old soul or was very mature for my age, but I just learned very quickly that my opinion didn't matter and there was no point trying to speak out about things because I would be ignored. I was born with sevear health issues as well. I never got to be a child, and my mother never let me be one either. Always yelling at me when I made childish mistakes saying I should have known better eventhough I was never exposed so such situations. She would also make inappropriate remarks and slap my butt. When I told her to stop and that it made me uncomfortable she just said that I was her property until I was 18 and that she could do whatever she wants. Whenever she does something that makes me uncomfortable now (I'm 19) just just acts like ots no big deal and that I'm overreacting. She has Also never taught me anything normal. Like how to clean, cook, do the laundry, or even wash my hair properly. I learned how to wash my hair from the people who molested me. My step dad and I ate basically her slavrs right now because she uses her health as an excuse to get out of doing anything she doesn't want to. She was also very neglectful with all my my siblings and I. She really wanted kids but had no idea how to raise them. All this is just the tip if the iceberg of things I'm finally realizing she's done wrong through some self reflection. I can't even confront her because she'd just start crying and it feels like I'm the one who has done something wrong.

[@FridayDay030]

@@mysticzebra5421 I'm so sorry you're going through that

[@alpyki2588]

Yeah, being the ear for both parent's complaints is rough. Started out with playful "who is your favorite parent," and then it progressed worse from there as I got older. It got to the point where I refused to be in a room alone with one of them for any meaningful time without a distraction (books, computer, cell phone, literally anything). Loked myself in my room and didn't come out hardly at all. Their complaining was nigh constant. They both had severe issues that they needed to work on and didn't do jack to fix it, instead playing the blame game on each other. It was so bad that I stopped going to visit my grandmother who had alzheimers as frequently because Dad would use it as a nonstop complaint session with a captive audience of two. He's since passed but I can't find it in my heart to completely forgive him for that. Its a pain I'll take with me to my grave.

[@insertunoroginalnamehere6189]

Sometimes divorce can be good but also bad yes. I had a friend and when she said her parents are divorced (in a pretty cheery tone!" Me and my other past friend felt sorry for her, but she said life is so much better and that her parents are even friends now and don't fight. Obviously it's different for everyone

[@Midnight.Rain.747.]

“People cry, not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been storing for way to long” -Johnny Depp

[@mr.bulldops_9352]

You butchered the quote dude

[@ReoSmith-ec5lh]

storing what

[@FlopgamingOne]

strong*

[@Midnight.Rain.747.]

@@FlopgamingOne ok ty

[@Midnight.Rain.747.]

@@ReoSmith-ec5lh strong*

[@isabelwonders8711]

I feel like a lot of mistakes parents make are over corrections. For example, a neglected child knows the pain of no one being there and then completely smothers their kids, never giving them space. The trick I think is finding a good middle ground between two extremes. Granted I don’t have kids so take everything I say with a grain of salt.

[@sherbetstudios8075]

In a tiny story of mine (earlier this year and I’m still a kid): Don’t stagger their communication My friends all got in an argument, two decided to call eachother toxic after personal events. This escalated so much in about three hours that parents got involved, and I was stupid mad, meaning I was so angry that I did some dumb stuff. Next morning, my mom got called about the situation, she took my phone, and read through everything without asking me. She kept all of my devices and basically stripped me of my communication. This was the Sunday starting a week-long break from school, so I couldn’t make any apology about the furious/impulsive things I said, nor join in talking it out. And guess what, Monday I come back, everyone was filling me in on why they were right, and that evening my mom forced me to say something to them that I had stated I would during my rage-rant, and when I had a total breakdown over it she reasoned a very poor reason that basically said ‘it was your fault way before this even happened, you poor planner.’ SUMMARY: I got in a fight, my mom made me unable to communicate about fight, then forced me to communicate things I didn’t want too.

[@embersarts]

Always give your kids a sense of privacy in their personal life: My parents had this rule where we keep no secrets in the house and everything had to be known and shared and everyone (only my siblings and i) barely kept any secrets (except our parents) and we could never close the door unless we were changing after the showers. It’s one thing to make sure we’re not getting into any trouble, say going on the wrong sites on the internet or talking to the wrong people, however it’s a whole other thing to be contstantly involved in our lives asking us after literally every action we do. Everytime i listened to music, my parents would come in asking what im listening to and it got annoying fast. My dad even went through my skethcbooks one day and i felt pretty violated because in the back half of the book lay my more homoerotic drawings (at the time) which is how he pretty much found out for me being gay. The rumors spread out like wildfire soon after that before i even had a chance to properly tell really anyone. I was 16-17 at the time, i should’ve at least been granted enough privacy to not have felt exposed like that. Even times where I’d ask my mom to just hold onto something for a while (say like a week tops), someone would always know about it practically the next day. I rarely told my mom or any of my family anything special or important to me after that for years. I still don’t tell them really anything these days. These have been light examples but over time they taught me to be more secretive and withold information (save telling like 2 of my closest friends) and that i ended up trusting my friends more than my family when it came to private and personal information being told. However i think it also just prevented me from asking them anything that I’d be nervous about, like first dates (when i thought i was into girls) and stuff like that. Sorry for the rant; give your kids some space and observe from a distance unless it’s an emergency. Especially during their teen years

[@tzarg]

so "NO-PRIVACY!" parents made you a more private person?

[@a.person.somewhere]

the door thing is the same thing in my family, except i cant even close it when i’m showering. as well as the music. my parents have such little trust in me that i cant have me own apple account or spotify account. it doesnt help that i have nosy ass sister who judges me for whatever i do. befause of this, i keep a lot of secrets from my family. this youtube account is even a secret lol😅

[@embersarts]

@@tzarg pretty much

[@embersarts]

@@a.person.somewhere good God, I remember we couldn't even have our own private Gmail accounts. Like once we made ours, they demanded the login info and we had to give it to them. And the door situation, none of the doors were able to lock, so even if they closed, they were never fully closed. Also, in the shower? Really?? Did you have siblings and parents walk in on you too?

[@sokaize]

Exactly. I deal with this constantly

[@OneMomentPlease...]

A thing my parents do that has affected me was the whole "Kids in (insert place) have it a lot worse" thing. All it taught me was my feelings were invalid because others had it worse than I did. I find it hard to vent now, especially to people I know with pretty sucky lives. Thanks, mom and dad. I mean, yes, others have it worse and others would much rather have what I have over their own lives, but that doesn't mean I can't complain or say that I'm upset.

[@bug8992]

That teasing part got me. I have autism but wasn’t diagnosed until later in life my siblings and mom would make fun of me all the time. I never tell anyone my emotions now and can’t start a conversation with people I don’t know. I barley even talk to my own family and I stay in my room all the time.

[@sminooo]

A couple of years ago my sisters just randomly started a really heated argument about some random stuff. I'm guessing my mom had enough and just blurted out that she is putting us all up for adoption. I have 4 sisters and only 2 were arguing... Of course we all started to cry and a few minutes later she told us to eat as if nothing happened. The crazy part was that the sisters that were arguing were not even double digits in age..

[@JP.09.]

Whenever I cried or behaved badly, well in my opinion just like a normal child should be doing, my mom would threaten to send me to the orphanage. I wasn't allowed to cry or show emotions either, she'd make make shut up or abuse me in whatever possible way. I remember running out of the house crying a lot as a child. Wishing I could disappear or run away from home. I always felt unloved and misunderstood by everybody. I had no one to rely on and even my "friends" only used me for their own personal advantage. But I have to be honest that most of this stopped after I got a new, very strict teacher who has taught me a lot about life and people in general. I'm also thankful to my neighbor who was always there for me whenever I needed advice a kid or early teen. I'm happy for this change and I'm really glad for focusing on school, which distracted and protected me from a bunch of teenage shit. I matured very fast and I learnt to be independent at quite a young age. This helped to become the person I am today, with all my strengths and weaknesses. Let's keep growing together to become better human beings.

[@rimwell]

The whole drinking thing That’s just not parenting what in the world “Parent trick” 💀

[@KikiiMei]

The story about teasing kids about crushes and stuff low-key resonated with me, when I was seven or eight, I would come home from school and my dad would ask "How many boyfriends you got now?" every day. It got to a point where if I felt anything toward someone of the opposite sex, whether they were friend or not, I wouldn't mention it to my dad because he would accuse me of dating them. I was seven, and barely even knew what dating was, I didn't open up to my dad already because of the way he treated me, (borderline abusive shit but now my parents are divorced and I live with my mom, still a minor, giving no more info on age.) but he discredited my feelings towards friends and crushes, I never realized how much it messed with me till the line between 'they're your friend' and 'you like them' kind of blurred together and it was kinda hard to figure out how I felt. I found it funny, he asks how many boyfriends I've got (My dad's a shithead so he might've been implying I was a boy magnet/slutty bcuz his mom thinks that about my mom and she prolly thinks 'slutty-ness' is hereditary, fyi tho, my mom is in no way AT ALL slutty. She is a hard working, loyal woman and my gramma has no right thinking that bs about her.) but he gets all wannabe over protective dad when I talk about boys and he hears it. Another one that I related to a whole fuck ton, the one where their dad squeezed their knee until they cried, my dad does that, when ever he does it and doesn't stop when I ask, I've started just slapping the shit out of his hand, I refuse to cry in front of him because he makes fun of my feelings whenever I'm vulnerable around him, but at least he doesn't squeeze my little sister's knee like that. He's an idiot a lot of the time but he's figured out that if I react the way I do, my sister will too. Don't know why he still does it to me though. Sorry for the two whole-ass paragraphs on my dad, thank you for reading this far if you have. I hope you enjoy your day/night/morning. =)

[@Kingklown_YT]

Mha stans like you are like fallout 76. Trashy and radioactive

[@CHRKM]

When my parents got divorced I primarily stayed with my manipulative mother. At the time I thought she was protecting me from this person who didn’t care too much about me. My Mother would often times convince me that I was miss remembering certain events. Like times she hit us kids or times we may or may not have screwed up. Anyways after the divorce I had band concerts which meant the world to me. My Mother had convinced me that my Father had never showed up to any of my concerts in the 7 years I played. And I believed her since she had hands around my memories and perception. After two years of multiple therapists and a massive falling out with my Mother and now living with my father. He tells me that he had shown up to all of my concerts whether he worked or not he made the time. Apparently my Mother had rushed us out fast enough where we never saw him. It’s now left me questioning if any of my memories are even true or if they happened. And I’m not sure if my Father and I will ever have the same relationship as the one we had before the divorce. TLDR Mother Manipulates me to think my Dad doesn’t care about me. Turns out he does and I’m forever messed up because of her.

[@dragonfliesnh4204]

I'm sorry to hear you went through all this. But please know that you aren't forever messed up because of her. I think it's great that you have been getting therapy and don't give up on yourself to continue to better who you are. She isn't you and this isn't her life, it's yours. Yes, it is hard and you can't escape everything but I don't believe for a moment that you're messed up forever.

[@lahlybird895]

Gaslighting

[@strawberystar]

My mom often dumps her troubles from work at me and when I confronted her that “I didn’t care” she said “well that was rude you know…” and made me feel bad about it before apologizing

[@pranavakshit]

These videos are really comforting, and a few things feel relatable in it. Unfortunately, in an Indian household, your mother is the superior and can do anything to you, because she gave you birth. Also, constantly being pressurised to work harder and keep working hard really messes up the psyche if a child, to the point that they go from highest scoring to a little below average, and then you get scolded instead of support. Such things can't be taught to Indian parents, no matter how much intellectual they are. They just think of these as excuses and a way to blame them for our mistakes. Indian parents will never understand what's right parenting, they just beat you in your early years, then they tease you, taunt you in your teenage years and will eventually taunt you for not having much friends, and being an average not good scoring child in your late teens.

[@umangsheel7819]

Hey man. I hope you eventually separate from that household and live your life. I sorta know how you feel, my dad's quite overbearing and pressures me quite a bit about my marks. Still, you'll find a way I hope

[@wlven]

basically asian parents in a nutshell, but seriously, im sorry for what is happening, most of the time that happens to me too

[@Azik688]

Yeah same here i got scolded for getting 94 on a test because “I should’ve gotten a 100”

[@Azik688]

Fuck them I just don’t care about them anymore and even I guy a job I’m leaving and they will never find me

[@umangsheel7819]

@@Azik688 Fuck them up, they're just jealous of you cause they never got a 100, or a 94

[@RichardDuryea]

For me, I'd say the always putting others before yourself was really hammered into me as a kid. While this is a good moral lesson and has value, it also made me feel like a nuisance and that my needs did not matter. As an adult, I regularly find myself in toxic relations and I can't help myself but bend over backward to make said abusive person happy. It's taking me a long time to figure out that not everyone deserves my kindness.

[@tommoto2023]

I agree with the listen to your children part. When I was in 4H one of my pigs sneezed in my eye. It wouldn't stop hurting so I begged my mom to take me to a doctor. She accused me of faking to get out of 4H duties. After a day and a half of me asking her she finally relents and takes me. In the car she tells me if I'm faking she's gonna beat me within an inch of my life. I get to the doctor and long story short, I have a wood chip embedded in my eye, which was also now infected. The Doctor said if I had waited later I could have lost my eye. After this I wouldn't tell anyone if I was sick or in pain unless I KNEW something was wrong.

[@amberlexicon]

Yeah my dad would tell me I'm being a baby and both of my parents would call me a hypochondriac so I often just suffer through things I don't need to. I've noticed that they both also suffer through things they don't need to now that I'm trying to be kinder to myself in this way. It's probably a generational gift. Passed down from parent to child for God knows how long.

[@donnyshields4450]

What's 4H?

[@secondarydevice1767]

@@donnyshields4450 Rural equivalent of Scouts, I guess. Kid 8-18 sign up for various projects annually that are displayed and judged at the county fair. Projects range from simple arts and crafts and boiled eggs to livestock and engineering, led by a parent volunteer. Best entrants in most projects are invited to bring them to the state fair. After judging the kids get some award cash - and the midway is right there so that was pretty awesome, back in the day when kids ran loose. I think almost all if not all clubs had a softball team too. It's been 30 years so I have no idea what it's like these days.

[@stone1488]

My mother was overprotective and told me I have no rights until I turn 18. My allowance was living in a household and whenever I said I love you to my mom and she said I love me too. As well as not showing up to any of my competitions because she said she was too tired to go to them (they were early at like 5 in the morning early)

[@Azik688]

My mom said I can’t make my own decision until I get married (I’m M19 now and still zero privacy)

[@TrulyAJ]

@@Azik688 ouch. That's very unfortunate..

[@stone1488]

@@Azik688 that sucks, are you able to move out or aren’t able to atm?

[@catsarelit5305]

@Litloom 123 THAT SUCKS move out as soon as possible and cut ties

[@g3design637]

Relatable, I used to be told that on a weekly basis, especially if I asked why I couldn't be equal to my parents in some way, like privacy.

[@turtlebuns22]

i can really relate to the “reinventing history from your childhood” thing. my dad would try to make himself look better by saying “oh you were so young you’re probably remembering it wrong.” case in point: when i was about 4-5 years old i broke my arm straight through the elbow. i was jumping in the bed when i fell off and i guess i was too lazy to get up. so i’m just laying there and my dad walks in with a stack of my brother’s diapers over his eyes, so he didn’t see that my arm was in his walkway. he stepped on it, i screamed, he took me to the ER, and until the day he died he denied it. no one believes me to this day, even on other things i so happen to witness. it drives me crazy and when i get mad about it, i’m called dramatic with them saying “why are you so mad about something that didn’t even happen?”

[@kanatheflop]

i relate to this too much. I remember when i was 7 my mom called me a bunch of insults after i did a slight mistake and began to cry. nobody believes me because "i was too young and probably made it up"

[@vaewulfs]

holy shit im so sorry, no one deserves that,, my mom did something somewhat similar, she threatened to stab me when i was 7 and now jumps between “i never done that” to “i never THREATENED to STAB you, you remember it wrong”,,

[@oscarwashere15]

My mother is apparently never wrong. It's always my fault, especially if I try to have some alone time, because according to her, that's antisocial, rude and lazy. Don't tell your kids they're lazy, it hurts. I'm not lazy, I just don't have the motivation right now in life to do anything, I can barely get up in the morning or have a shower or brush my teeth or eat anything.

[@Hello-lf1xs]

If possible maybe you should look into going to a therapist - that kinda sounds like you may be depressed

[@qwertyuiop-dt8xq]

exactly

[@Dargonhuman]

@@Hello-lf1xs I was thinking that too - my wife takes meds to manage her clinical depression (among ... other mental issues that aren't relevant) and that last part sounded _exactly_ like what she goes through during a serious bout.

[@capncookie1110]

Whenever I hear people say stuff like “I wish I could just go back to being a kid again” I just laugh and show them this

[@piroshk1968]

right? 😭 like adulthood has been a breath of fresh air compared to being a kid

[@kumikor3392]

Right? Life as an adult is significantly easier than as a child. I don't have to have people who antagonize me in my home, and I don't have to worry about someone's else's stupidity rendering me homeless.

[@Blehblehbl]

I’m only 15 right now but I still look back on when I was younger and resent my childhood.

[@Aidan_H4]

@@Blehblehbl but your still a child

[@axolotlgaming3733]

I usually would be too scared to say anything against this comment, because people ALWAYS prove me wrong, but let me just tell you, you can't assume that all people had horrible childhoods, some people had awesome childhoods, but have a horrible life as an adult. Not all parents do these things to their children. The fact that you think all parents are bad is BS. Me and a lot of other people have great parents.

[@madisonwhitman7632]

I really wish I had the confidence to show my parents this video because honestly they could learn from a lot of it. It’s very comforting to know that i am not alone in my experiences but it also makes me very sad to see so many people go through stuff like that as a kid/teenager.

[@Rainbowrealm]

I’m so sorry for everyone who’s had parents like this. My heart goes out to you, my mother did most of these things and I have borderline personality disorder. You are all beautiful human beings. You are all so strong for surviving what you did. It’s ok to cry. Without rain, there’s no rainbows!! There are no failures, just happy accidents. No matter what mistake any of you could make, it won’t ever be as bad as the cruelty your parents put you through. I know what it’s like to be humiliated in public, just remember that they are the ones causing a scene, no matter what, you will never be an embarrassment. They are the ones humiliating children. Your thoughts and feelings will always be valid. I promise you if you are a child watching this, you are going to find someone who can’t stop listening to you talk about how you feel. Bc you are such amazing people, it will come back to you. I have strong abandonment issues and didn’t trust anyone. I am now in a 5 year relationship with a person who has stuck with me when I almost died on the floor. Always face the sun and the shadows won’t ever bother you. May love and peace be with you

[@b4sil_5]

Thank you 🩷

[@Kittykattkattt]

Your amazing! Keep going and don't let anything stop you ❤️❤️

[@rbx511]

Nah hard parents on sons are fine to an extent

[@ananaskarandash1060]

@@rbx511 You shouldn't have any rights to have kids.

[@rbx511]

@@ananaskarandash1060 Nor should you

[@crem-crem4070]

Never admitting when you’re wrong to your child. My parents were very good parents in general but the fact that they rarely ever acknowledged when they were wrong really messed with my ability to do so and I’m still learning how accept being wrong with grace. On the bright side being a woman it really made me good at not backing down.

[@wrenonline-q7s]

my mom used to make anything i showed/said to her (like a show i was fixated on, or a funny meme) into a lecture or a taunt. now i have trouble telling her anything in fear of it turning into a rant. my parents would also argue when me and my siblings were nearby, this made me develop anxiety at a very young age and have trouble with derealisation

[@BlindStarLily]

Probably just all of the shame I had as a kid. When I was in middle school, I was first starting to really delve into the concept of fandom and fanfiction, something I still love dearly to this day. My mom’s husband caught me up late writing fanfic with a friend one night, took my tablet and left. The next day, my mom started loudly reading what I’d been writing aloud to my household. Like, wow mom, thanks. Now I’m afraid to tell you what interests me ‘cause that might get done again. I still love writing both original and fanfiction, but I would never show her something seriously romantic that I’ve written, even if it’s for the novel she doesn’t know I’m working on, because there’s still that constant underlying fear of being loudly humiliated for it in front of my entire family the way she did last time. I also never send anything I write to her husband because I don’t fucking trust him at all. I get it. If you’re upset because I was up past my bedtime on my tablet, that’s fine. But punish me accordingly for that. Don’t embarrass me in front of the older brothers that young me idolized because of the things I enjoy. Now I’m afraid to tell anybody about my love of fandom and fanfic because it went so horribly the first time it happened. Call me overdramatic all you like, but this was seriously traumatic for me. I’ve known my group of friends for years, and only very recently did I start talking freely about fanfic around them because of my fear of something like that happening again. Luckily, my friend group is lovely. They’ll gently tease me from time to time and joke about the cursed fanfics they’ve found or written, but they’ll also let me blabber on and on about my current projects and good fics I’ve read recently. Hell, one friend, as it turns out, is just as hyperfocussed on fanfic as me, so we’ll sit and blabber about it together. Happy ending, I suppose.

[@RetroFifa_Clips]

I hate parents like you cant sit alone and look at youre phone or talk to friends or do anything alone in arom

[@Kittykattkattt]

I'm soooo sorry that happened to you! Parents need to give their kids privacy and not control every aspect of their life! It truly upsets me thinking of those kinds of parents

[@rbx511]

Why can’t embarrassment be the punishment? I bet you never did it again

[@BlindStarLily]

@@rbx511 You would be wrong. It didn’t keep me from doing that sort of thing, it just made me better at hiding it. Punishment like that doesn’t discourage kids from doing what they enjoy, it just makes them better at lying about it. Not to mention, that type of discipline punishes the child for their interests, not for the thing they actually did wrong, in this case, staying up past their bedtime on their tablet. A better punishment for that would have been taking my tablet away and keeping it out of my room at night. It would have kept me from the unneeded shame for doing something I enjoy and would have taught me not to stay up when I wasn’t supposed to be.

[@rbx511]

@@BlindStarLily So you’re saying you didn’t get enough punishment?

[@eggy337]

I remember my family was being evicted from our home, and me being 7 years old frozen in fear as everything we had was being thrown out into the street for neighbors to take. My father, still to this day (I'm 16 now) brings up that event and laughs how stupid I was for sitting there. There's alot of other bad stuff that happened, but this is one of the main things that fucked me up, bro..

[@Meleeman011]

I mean yeah you were

[@Fuglychick]

I’m sorry, that’s fucked up.

[@THEREALGATES]

My neighbors would’ve been dead no 🧢

[@haileyp.7352]

@@Meleeman011 tf do you expect a 7 year old child to do instead of sit there in shock/fear??

[@pineapplecat7908]

@@Meleeman011 He/she was seven years old and just witnessed their possessions get thrown onto the streets. Wouldn't be the stupidest thing I've seen a child do (the stupidest thing I've seen a child do by far was type the comment I'm replying to).

[@daleandsawhook4601]

3:25 hit so much harder than it should of..i was constantly being told: "stop being dramatic" or "dramatic much?" and thanks to that everytime someone tells me to talk abt my issues to them i just shut down and stop talking. And then they start screaming at me to:"just talk like a normal kid" and now i just bottle up all my feelings and suck it up.

[@pavelthefabulous5675]

My parents were genuinely great people. They prepared me well for moving out, college, and working. However, I think they both have a strange temperament, and I inherited it from them. They tended to just work hard and not say a whole lot, and they rarely were genuinely happy. It seemed like they often just stared off into space. I never learned how to actually be happy, just how to be disciplined and avoid the typical destructive vices. It's a solid foundation to build a good life off of, but you don't want to just lay down and sleep on the concrete slab every night.

[@UCvow2TUIH0d2Ax2vik9ILzg]

Doesn't sound perfect ofc but it sounds like a good start. I'm sure you can fill in the rest.

[@rioulethebeats9717]

Sounds to me they choose not to be happy to make you happy not thinking that your a sponge

[@pavelthefabulous5675]

@@rioulethebeats9717 I have a job and live thousands of miles away from them, you wonderful person.

[@foxchow400]

That sounds almost dystopian. My parents do the same thing, it's been a really long time since I've seen my mom smile genuinly, my dad's always angry. My mom looks so tired, she has bags, her eyes look distant and tired, and her smile looks half-hearted. It almost brings me to tears every time I ask if she's ok, and she just laughs an almost empty chuckle/sigh and smiles and says "it's not your job to worry about me"...

[@staydott696]

@@foxchow400 I am so sorry that your mom don't take breaks for her health. Even if she says that, maybe it can help to say that you care about her and that of course you would be worried if she doesn't see herself as important. ❤️

[@ArcticaTheFox]

Whenever I made a mistake as a kid and I apologized, my parents always told me “sorry doesn’t cut it”. And I think i somehow along the way internalized that as “oh if my parents say sorry, they don’t really mean it, so they must still hate me”. Messed me up big time for a good long while

[@pineapplecat7908]

I dealt with the same thing, but instead it was some of my past classmates and friends. Now, whenever I so much as think I've done something wrong or potentially hurtful (most of the time it was just me overthinking and immediately going to the worst possible interpretation) I say sorry so many times, offer to bring them food or money to make up for it, begging them to forgive me and I didn't mean it and I would give them chocolate tomorrow or something just to be told they weren't even offended. That stuff really messes up kids, and another possible route is the kid never learns how to apologize.

[@cxt_likesgaming6893]

My mom and grandma would always tell me that I'm a winner and I should never lose. Being a toddler and a kid seemed easy with that, but when I hit puberty, many of my friends became competitive, and really late, realized that out there are people who are better than me in some things. I would start losing or not winning in first place at some things, it really hit me, so bad that I remember almost 5 years of me crying in bed or not being able to sleep more than 3 hours a day. I was so stressed out that at around 11-13 got the thought of ending myself. May seem ridiculous but the reason that stopped me, was Minecraft and its soundtrack (yeah, ik I was a weird C418 fan) I started growing up as a person, so I started to realize that, I, was not supposed to be ALWAYS a winner, that there are times that I lose and I should clap for the winners and not put angry faces. My mother never stopped insisting that I should always win, but in her defense I can say that she doesn't really care if I lose, neither if I win something, she will go "oh yeah aight" and go home, forget anything happened and call it "a normal day".

[@unnaturalredhead1559]

My father learned from his parents that the way to treat hiccups is to cover the person’s mouth and pinch their nose for several minutes. He genuinely thought he was helping me with my hiccups when he would grab me and literally suffocate me. I started hiding from him whenever I started hiccuping, and going limp after a few seconds if he did start doing it, which got him to let go a lot faster. It was the only thing in my childhood that I’d count as physical abuse, and I think he figured out it was wrong because he did stop it before I got old enough to start fighting back, and afaik has never done it to my little siblings. Still fucked me up though- I nearly had a panic attack last time I had the hiccups.

[@foxchow400]

Genuinely who tf in their right mind thinks that's a good idea

[@pineapplecat7908]

@@foxchow400 I think the dad was thinking he was helping his kid...but yea I don't know how you can suffocate someone and think it's "okay"

[@foxchow400]

@@pineapplecat7908 yeah I'm wondering what his parents were thinking

[@pineapplecat7908]

@@foxchow400 I mean if the commenter went limp and their father let go, I think that should probably count as evidence he didn't want to hurt his kid? Still he should have considered why the commenter went limp idk how many times it took to fake passing out to convince him that maybe he shouldn't do that

[@foxchow400]

@Pineapple Cat yeah I suppose but that's like tazing someone and then stopping when you realize it isn't good

[@mordream]

Never try to sugarcoat anything. Nothing makes you resent your parents more then when they don’t think your emotionally mature enough to handle bad news.

[@kittenmimi5326]

I read like a story of this kid who has cancer, with a huge, very obvious tumor and she was told it was just a cold. She's in pain all day everyday and practically begging her parents to just tell her what's wrong already and they still insist on it being a cold

[@dumbleking5172]

I feel like there are certain things that should/must be sugarcoated but I believe it must be an ironclad rule that if you plan to sugarcoat something, take it off before it goes too far or becomes late. That, in of itself is a risk, so if you don't think you can take the coat off. Give it to them clean though, gently.

[@MataNui.]

I think there are situations where you have to. But it likely isn't cut and dry as to when.

[@forsakenfish]

@@kittenmimi5326 Can you send this story? (Links don't work on KZbin, they automatically get deleted, so say what to search)

[@kittenmimi5326]

@@forsakenfish it's in indonesian, search "surat kecil untuk tuhan keke"

[@anubiswerelupe]

I still remember being an early teen, just starting to go through adolescence. My Dad would tease and mock me, constantly calling me Puberty Boy until I cried. He would then take photos of me crying to show me how stupid I looked. It really messed me up to the point I wanted nothing to do with sex and suss pressed any sexual urge I had. I'm 44 now and have never had sex or even been on so much as a date. That abuse and trauma sticks with you forever.

[@eway44]

Listening to these stories makes me feel grateful for my mom and dad. I love you guys. As for the people in the stories, I sincerely hope things get better for you all

[@weird_0]

I've got something similar to the locked in the closet story. I remember i used to be a hyper kid and wouldn't listen and often accidentally broke stuff so my parents always threatened me that they'd send me away to a place that they described like a child prison. It didn't help. Only made me stop trying to have fun and be myself. I also started lying a lot to avoid being sent to that place.

[@bewnooce]

Same bro my Asian ass parents locked me in the garage in the dark for breaking shit 😂

[@extrastuff5285]

That’s crazier then Amber heard!

[@Mary_OTT]

When I was 6 I’ve been locked up in the apartment stairs for hours while my parents stood there and watched. Wtf was with that anyways, for not apologizing to my brother for stupid shit?

[@weird_0]

@@bewnooce My parents threatened to nail my slippers onto my feet because i often walked barefoot in the house.

[@bewnooce]

@@weird_0 Damn

[@WhispTheFox]

My parents are just a tad bit behind the times when it comes to technology. They always said that I spent too much time playing on the computer and that I should spend more time studying. That "playing" was me watching KZbin tutorials and learning to code and program for fun. I kept on with it anyway because I knew they would eventually see the academic and monetary value in what I was doing down the line. Majored in it in college and am now a full time software engineer. They are super proud that I kept with it and understand what I was doing every day after school for so many hours.

[@SamSam56789]

About three and a half years ago i had my first sexual assault experience and the day after i came up to my mother and told her everything that happened. I started crying while telling her and she replied "Listen thats life. You're fine, aren't you?" Now i have a therapist i trust (although it took me a few months to open up to him due to stuff like that from my mother happening all through my childhood) and when i finally told him about her reply he was horrified. He told me that was not normal or okay. He offered to talk to her for me (because i am a minor) and i said okay but didnt belive it would work. Its sad to me that she listened to him immidiatly instead of her own son. She now sees him every other week and he tells her about stuff like that in order to help her hear out the stuff i told her. I hate that it works, like im so glad someone is helping me but im sad its not directly me talking to her. She'll do anything as to not listen to me like she studied autism for four years yet refused to belive me that i have a lot of symptoms of autism until I went through my therapist. Guess who's diagnosed with autism now? This guy

[@marzsminecraft]

first? were there more? I hope you're doing well, now.

[@beyondborderfilms4352]

She knew you had autism, she just didn't wanted to admit it, because to her autism happens to "other" people. She likely also didn't want other people to know and simply assume she can gaslight you.

[@AutisticAthena]

My mom still argues with me about my autism. I didn't realize until recently that she didn't want me to get the diagnosis because she would have to acknowledge HER symptoms that match mine. If her DAUGHTER who is just like her is autistic, what does that make HER.

[@ImmortalChanger]

man this is just wild. i don't even know what to say

[@pineapplecat7908]

@@AutisticAthena That's messed up, especially since autism isn't anything to be ashamed or horrified of.

[@AbominAsian]

I clicked on this video out of curiosity, but in the end it has raised my blood pressure and agitated some old emotional scarring done by my parents - many of them mentioned in this video: the one with the grades, not asking questions, belittling over hobbies and interests, not being allowed to be social and ending up becoming socially awkward, gaslighting, overbearing expectations, the list goes on and on. Now that I'm older and have moved out, I find that I have emotionally abandoned them. I know they still care for my wellbeing and everything and I certainly hope nothing bad happens to them but any closeness that should be in a parent-child relationship is completely gone. I hadn't heard my mother say "I love you" for maybe 20 years, so when I heard her say it to me as an adult I was taken aback. It felt awkward. The last time I had said it to her was maybe 15 years ago, to which she responded, "You only love my money." And that, dear friends, is how you get your child to never again dare to tell you they love you. And I just want to point out that I never asked her for money or for things. I was just too accustomed to her saying no to everything. To me, the only blood relative that I consider family anymore is my sister. Growing up in the same environment, we have a sort of understanding of what we need emotionally, so we're always there to support each other. There are times when we tease each other or give honest constructive criticism, but never anything malicious. We had enough of that growing up. Ah, and I'm sure I'm rambling at this point but there was one story of my sister's that I'd like to share. When she was 13, she asked if she could go to a friend's house to which our father said, "You're too young for that," and so she didn't go. Two weeks later, she asked again if she could go to a friend's house. This time he told her, "Aren't you a little too old for that?" My sister was understandably in a screaming angry rage - not because she wasn't allowed to go, but because she had apparently missed the 2-week window in her life where she was an appropriate age to go to a friend's house according to our father.

[@Cheeseboiger]

I think a mistake parents often make is failing to understand that us kids aren’t stupid. We may not have the most experience but that doesn’t mean we can’t be smart. Or refusing to understand that children also grow up. Especially for the kids in their early teens.

[@sumthngcool4221]

My dad grew up in a house that was very anti-questions to the point that if he even seemed like he was questioning his parents/anyone of authority he would be beaten. Instead of doing what his parents hoped would happen, making him submissive and unquestioning, he is so open about his opinions that he struggles to make any relationship, a side effect of that is that all his friends agree with him on everything!

[@myst1calbea]

as a person who, as a child, constantly got told i cried a lot, i had major problems (and still do) of telling others how i feel and how i react because it hurt whenever someone commented on how much i cried because it wasn’t my fault, but they always made me feel it was so now i barely cry or show any sad emotions to people i don’t trust, especially my parents because they’d always talk about it.

[@lukescastle]

About the "emotional incest" thing, I experience this almost daily so let me explain it. My mom has extreme anxiety, diagnosed, and probably ocd, undiagnosed, as well as recent depression. She's relied on me to be her emotional crutch whenever she's feeling anxious. When she's sad, she cries to me, her teenage son. And about the ocd thing, she hasn't been diagnosed, but I suspect it because she does some ocd-like behaviours, and I have been diagnosed with ocd so I know what it's like. Whenever im getting ready for school, she says "hurry hurry" and reminds me of the tine multiple times a minute. She tells me to get dressed while I am getting dressed, she tells me to hurry eating, and I'm not allowed to listen to music in the morning because it makes her anxious. The sad part, I have a tendency to say sorry a lot, and my mom gets mad at me for this, but when I get mad at her for reminding me to do things im in the middle of doing or am about to do, Im the one in the wrong.

[@Dakota.Murmuda]

Favoritism My brother has ADHD, both of us get in lots of fights and regardless, he has the easier life while I'm told to shut up, or get yelled at and all that bs. Playing Favoritism is something that fucked me up. It's something that also can make that person more lonely at home and can't have a say in things without being judged. You feel targeted, bullied and feels like you did something very bad. Last is when I'm at school or away from the house, people at my school give me more attention than ever. They know my history of people I was with. Edit: Some people are upset and I understand that, I love my brother to death and I won't want to upset people who have adhd, and yes it is hard living with him at time's but I do get around it. Even though he has same amount of friends as me, we have somewhat completely different lives at home and at school, he loves his toys and cats and pokemon, I love videos games, making low quality videos and snakes, but in the end, we're best friends to each other and I will never bully my brother regardless how many fights we have with each other. I do encourage him to do what he likes and as long as he's happy. Than it's alright with me, even though I do get annoyed easily. So I'm saying that I don't want to sound like a person who targets a group of people, it can get you a bad reputation and make you like P.O.S. altogether. But I do disagree with things like uneven work, but I now realize he don't really listen but it's apart of him. So I am sorry if I did offended anyone. Edit 2: by love I mean I love him as family

[@WorldWalker128]

I have a brother with ADHD. We're both adults. My folks largely let him sit on his fattening butt and do next-to nothing while they berate me for still living with them despite the fact I've NEVER been fired from a job, and every job he's had he HAS been fired from and he lives there, too. After I quit my second job (years ago) they nagged and nagged me for a little over a month to get a new job (which I was trying to do just that) while letting him again, sit and do almost nothing for MONTHS. He gets away with so frigging much there are times where I think I hate him. Like ACTUALLY hate him, not just be annoyed and resentful towards him. I've told all three of them that once I've saved up enough money to move out if they die I will NOT take care of him. He's on his own. They can put in the will what they want, but if any conditions require me to baby-sit that manchild, the lawyer can keep the inheritance.

[@Pterosauraphobia]

I experience favoritism in my house as well, as I have two brothers. Being the middle child, I didn’t really have many special talents. My younger brother is “charismatic and cute” and was always told jokes with. Whenever I joined in, the joking would stop and I would get a frequent glare. My older brother, a genius and a model-building expert, is always asked about difficult topics and is always being the better-compared version to my parents. Everyone else said that I was amazing at art, but because of my parents barely looking up from their phones whenever I show them literally anything progressive I’ve done in my life, they turn it down with a simple “ok?” Sorry for the long comment, just wanted to say that favoritism sucks and I really feel ya there.

[@jacksont9455]

So true. And it’s not much easier for “the favorite” either. Because when you see a sibling who is getting less love and attention than you are, you start to realize that it’s conditional. You start to live in fear that you’ll make the same mistakes as your sibling did, and you go about your life knowing that if you make one mistake then your parents’ love and affection might go out the window.

[@bertsbeans6981]

@@WorldWalker128 I agree that it is wrong for your parents to play favorites, but is your brother struggling with holding a job due to ADHD? Is he in therapy or on medication (or trying to do one of the two or both)? Have you spoken to him to understand why he doesn't have a job currently and why he was fired from his previous jobs? I just want to suggest that you find these things out and just talk to him to gain a better understanding and tell him how you feel about your parent's favoritism. Maybe then he will understand how you feel and help stop your parent's favoritism, and you may understand why he can't hold a job as well as other struggles he may be having. You could also let him know that his situation isn't the best in a respectful manner if he doesn't truly realize that at the moment and maybe give him some tips or advice to lead him in the right direction. Thank you for taking your time to read all this. I hope you consider my suggestions and I wish you good luck.

[@apinkchameleon]

Honestly kind of same, but our situations were reversed. My sister is ADHD but only found out once she became a teenager, I'm autistic and I was always berated and yelled at for doing things wrong as a young child while she never got in trouble at all. Eventually I learned how to please my parents (finally) and they started going after her for her ADHD stuff, seems like it's impossible for them to hold us both accountable at once for things. But I will add later on I learned that my sister actually noticed I was always getting in trouble and became terrified of getting in trouble. It seems like she's worked on it a bit in therapy and that's helped, but my point is that this kind of favoritism affects both parties.

[@fahm8097]

All these are messed up, some are relatable too. Now that I think about it, I also gave up on my life, stopped socializing, etc etc and my parents are partially responsible for that. I don't remember the last time I had a long conversation with my family members and shared my thoughts. My mother is not bad but when I was younger she'd beat me for getting beaten up by others, so I never complained about anything. She wouldn't even let me go out or play, so I grew up lonely. My brother is fine but my sister would always tease me. My dad isn't friendly or supportive either. I have 2-3 friends and a best friend with whom I can share my thoughts. [I became emotional and said more than I should've said, so I removed some part. My situation is better now and I should be grateful for what I have]

[@ShimmerismYT]

saw the comment and read it! hope you live a better life soon!

[@umangsheel7819]

You'll be able to get outta that place, alright? Believe in yourself, don't give up simply cause your mother failed an examination on parenting. That's her fault. Oh, your dad as well but you get the point? Idk if I'm making any sense but hope for the best for ya

[@fahm8097]

@@umangsheel7819 They're not supportive and close to me but I'm grateful for what they did for me. Thanks for ur concern.

[@alexSus-mk7dg]

At one minute it hit me that my mom and dad do something similar. I'm almost 15 and had a huge breakdown in public speaking my mind about other bullshit they did because my mom had forced us go to a pizza place while school shopping, despite me and my brother, not being hungry, but she was the one who was hungry, despite making a big deal about not going to eat anything. She also bullied me by saying that I'm "always hungry" which was a rude thing, as she frequently bullies me for my weight, which crossed the line. I yelled my heart out at them for the disgusting way they treat me. To add insult to injury, all they got from this was that apparently, I hate them because big lazy, and no likey chores. They never listen to me, and also always turn it around on me, with threats of violence against me.(which is a frequent thing)

[@NinjaCatTrio]

I have generally been pretty ungrateful towards my parents but after seeing this I now see that they are way nicer then I see them

[@Litleo276]

Same, in 3rd grade I was apparently depressed because my parents were horrible, but looking back they are rlly nice

[@ChutneyChad]

@@Litleo276 3rd grade? Not tryna invalidate you at all but uh was that depression or just you being kinda sad?

[@Litleo276]

@GeswhoAnimates just being sad. Not real depression

[@tannerhall6452]

Story 19 really hit me. My parents gave all my other siblings locks on their doors and just because I am the middle child I was left with distrust and disrespect. I can’t even feel safe in my own room when I am stressed

[@xtrem5428]

Here's mine: Always telling your kid to do better, and never encouraging their efforts. My mother, as much as I love her, has that problem. The only time I saw her proud of my accomplishments were when she was bragging to others. To me, it was always pointing out the things I could have done better, or how I should do that more often. I kept trying to live her to her expectations and failing, until I became discouraged to do anything. I remember at my high school graduation, I got an award for 3rd best grades in maths, and her reaction was literally "bof, you could have done better." That crushed me so hard. Even on mundane things, like cleaning. She asked for my help with some heavy house cleaning and I went above and beyond what she asked, and rather than being thankful, her reaction was to tell me I should do that more often. It's only another time, while she was giving me instructions on how to clean my own room, and I blew up at her, saying that she whatever I do, it would never be enough for her, and she'll still complain about one thing or another, that she finally understood how toxic it was, but sadly 25 years too late.

[@taiyosun7355]

I relate to a lot of these things. Growing up my mom shared a lot of personal problems with me, even marriage problems she had with my dad I was 8-9 at the time. She actually still till this day shares her problems with me. My father wasn’t the best either though he would throw things and punch holes in walls and I was like 6-7 at the time I was also quite neglected when I was younger in favor to my older brother with a disability and yes I know he needed more attention but letting your 3-4 year old jump around and get out of the house alone while walking down the street in only a diaper is not okay. (True story by the way) My mom always told me she stayed with my dad “for us” so she could “give us a better life” but now I’m really starting to doubt that. She threatened to send me to Texas with my father once because I didn’t want to go to a party with her and later she claimed it was a joke. I don’t think I ever really got over that.

[@spiceupyourafterlife]

My mum used to tell me “cry, you’ll pee less,” which I always hated because to me that meant she didn’t care if I was upset about something. Naturally, I never went to her when I was upset about something, knowing that she would either mock me for being upset or just shrug it off.

[@misfitdragonintheskyandsta6296]

Based on my own experience, I feel that it is HUGELY important that you’re supportive of your child in anyway that you can. My mom is supportive of me financially and even lets me stay at her house while I’m in college, but she is completely unsupportive of me both physically and emotionally. Like this morning, I have a bad cold (I NEVER get sick) and I simply commented that I feel like I can’t breathe because both of my nostrils were fully clogged and I’ve been having bad coughing fits because that also made me feel like I couldn’t breathe. She completely dismissed it by saying “Oh, come on (my name), you have a cold. Stop making it sound worse than it really is.” And she said it in such an obnoxious tone too. It just goes to show that the whole “I gave you food and let you stay in the house” thing is such a dumb excuse. I’m honestly considering breaking off from her completely once I am finally well off in life. It doesn’t help that this woman is retired and doesn’t work, and uses her autoimmune disorders to literally get out of everything and make me do everything for her as well as her “I worked for 30 years” excuse when I just simply tell her that I don’t want to work, something that everyone with a job says many times in their life. Maybe I just want a freaking hug or something before I go! Plus, my job allows me to make my own schedule! I don’t have to work just because you say I have to! That’s my own job, and I have no issues juggling my schedule with college!

[@smileytrashbag1998]

One of my stories is being TOO nice to your kids. My mom does this and it makes me feel like I’m using her and constantly feel awful.

[@kyellverdonschot9922]

One thing that always just hurts me without my parents knowing or understanding is when they tell me I should go out with friends more, play outside with them instead of gaming, because I don’t have friends, the maximum amount of real friends taht I can go play football with or just chill with that I’ve had is 4, now it’s 2, and both of those don’t like doing something else than just gaming together, I used to go outside with our neighbors sons, we would play Minecraft, play football, but after they went to middle school they just kept saying they couldn’t, because they had to study, or because people were coming over, this went on for a month until they finally said they just didn’t want to, they had “other friends that they had more fun with” aka they had better friends and didn’t need me anymore, I’ll be honest, I felt betrayed, I considered them as my best friends, I looked forward the whole week to wake up as early as I could and instead of play videogames, go play videogames and football with them, both days of the weekend, to then repeat the cycle, and it just feels fake now, because when they got other friends, they just lied to me so they wouldn’t have to spend time with me, now everytime my dad says that I game too much and says that I should go outside with friends I just sit there trying not to get sad from the thought of having no friends to do anything with, after my only two friends who I went outside with just abandon me when they got better friends. Now I’m just cold, don’t talk to anyone but my one best friend, and the only reason I’m not in my room 24/7 is because it’s cold, uncomfortable and the PlayStation is downstairs, I just have no relationships with any of my family, because they don’t get me and I don’t get them Sorry for writing such a long comment, but it’s been hurting for a long time and I needed to vent in a place where I’m anonymous and people don’t know me

[@mr.bluestone1276]

happend to me but i moved and didnt fit in because of new culture in new city, always told to just hang out with the friends i barely know/like or join a club because everyone knows that will solve all my problems!

[@watchmychannelorelse]

Holy frick... this hurt to read. Has the situation gotten better at all? Even in the slightest? Either way, I seriously hope this gets better.

[@storozhevoy75]

Promises are something I use to measure trustworthiness. My mom is a pretty unpredictable person and to this day, I have a hard time trusting her with my emotional needs unless I'm on the verge of a meltdown. She has this where she says she'll make the change, but gradually stops committing to it. She also seems to think she's a mind-reader and knows me beyond my surface thoughts or needs. I learned in middle school that it's pretty much pointless to argue the point with her since she doesn't want to listen to an opposing view: it's just my word against hers.

[@wintig245]

I relate a lot to story 6. My mom is an absolute perfectionist about my schoolwork, and if I have anything under a B+ she loses her mind. It's hard because I'm already really smart (not just me being cocky, I've had many people tell me I am) and her perfectionist attitude is discouraging me from doing my best and destroying my mental health. I started realizing that this wasn't normal behavior when last year my friend went home with a 60-something on a vocabulary quiz, and he was crying. My mom would have lost it, but his mom just said "it's okay, I'll help you study for the next one." Absolutely broke my heart. I also panic whenever I get in trouble for something, and if a teacher threatens to contact my mom I break down in tears because I'm terrified she'll yell at me or punish me really severely.

[@cthulhoid_cat7212]

I'm not in school anymore, but apart from that this comment feels like I could have written it with how spot-on it is. My parents would also constantly say that as long as I tried my best they'd be happy, but if I got less than a B, B+ it didn't matter if I pulled multiple all nighters to study or work on projects I "wasn't doing my best" and so they had the right to yell at me and call me lazy. I'm so sorry to hear what you've gone through, you deserve to know that not doing well just means you need a little help, nothing more nothing less.

[@elementaldesign0]

My parents wouldn't ever show up to any of my sporting events, and seeing all of my friends/teammates going to their families after winning or even losing a game to comfort them, just hit me on a deep level, now I'm a senior in highschool and had my sports career cut short due to a severe injury, and I never once got to see them at a game throughout highschool, I was hoping maybe they'd go to college games, but now that I'm injured I can't continue to get scholarship oppurtunities

[@noone-wn1se]

Story 10 is very relatable for me. It wasn't just at home either, it was at school! I had undiagnosed ADHD and autism, and was quick to provoke. People would bully me relentlessly, and I'd react with violence, or screaming at them. I'd be the only one getting in trouble. And in the few times they'd almost punish the bullies, because everyone hated me, everyone would say I was the one who started it.

[@memesinc5852]

Hillarious to me that all of these we're a regular occurence in my childhood. No wonder Im 25, never had a romantic relationship, and stuck in an anxiety and depression induced coma.

[@earth_quakex9076]

Stories 4 and 5 are exactly how my parents have treated me my entire life, especially my dad. My dad's highly insecure about his body, though, so he never goes out with the family to public events unless it's 100% needed. For all of my birthdays, none of my family has shown up, other than my grandmother. My aunt stopped talking to the family because one person in the family didn't call her while she was in the hospital, but called her when she got home. Pettiness. My family, outside the household, has been making plans to go elsewhere on my little sisters birthday, she's turning 6 soon. It's heartbreaking to see, because I had to go through it, and I just want the best for my sister. She's one of the only people that I actually have and like to spend time with. The fact that parents say "they do this cause they love you" is absolute bs too. When I was 12, I had to stay with my papa (dads side) and his wife, ironically named Karen, for a MONTH. My papa was out doing work most of the month, so it was just Karen and me. She's a very strict Jamaican woman, so that's apparently a good reason for treating everyone like garbage. Anyway, though, she and I would have breakfast together, and one morning we had waffles. She's big on proper dining courtesy, and I was a dumb little 12 year old who liked to eat. She sat me down at the table, and forced me to chew all the bits of waffles to mush, then show her before I swallowed. But if I swallowed without showing her, then she'd make me throw up my food then eat it again. All I can say is that three years later, as I'm 15 now, I can't be in the same room as her without getting yelled at for an "attitude" that's not even present. Recently, my little sister and I stayed with the two again in a big city, with a high crime rate. We went to dinner, caught up, the usual. And once we left, it was dark. Karen let my sister run off down the sidewalk, way further than our momma would let her go. Whenever I would call my sister back or try to go get her, Karen would snap at me or pull me back. At this point I was sobbing and having an anxiety attack right there, and didn't care what she had to say. My sister and I ran back to the house and I got lectured when Karen finally caught up. Later on that night, Karen's yelling at my sister for moving around too much, even though my sister is a literal child, she has the wiggles, as most little kids do. So I took my sister upstairs with me to the room we were in and we hung out and played games together for the rest of the night. The day we had to go home, my parents came to pick me and my sister up. My aunt was there as well. All of the adults were talking, and my papa mentions how my dads side of the family treated my mom. So of course, I ask and then get shut down almost immediately. My mom and I are practically best friends, so of course I wanna know when someone's rude to her, even in the past. And I'll admit, I had a little attitude, but that quickly turned into a joking "angsty teen" act between me and my dad, that's how we talk together sometimes. Karen pipes up, WHEN NO ONE TOLD HER TO, and went "oh this is when you have to go Jamaican on them." ... HUH??? So I look at her with my eyebrow raised and she sends me up to the guest bedroom despite me AND my dad telling her that it's a joke. I sobbed the rest of the time we were there because of how much I despise her. When I came down because we had to go, she went "Are you ready to apologize?" after I gave hugs to everyone, including her. I looked down at my shoes and gave the fakest apology I could think of, something like: I am so sorry for my attitude. It will never happen again. I am sorry that you got offended even though my dad and I were joking. Think Rliey Freeman from the Boondocks apology. She went to yell at me again but I just walked out of the house and into the car with no other words. This was around a week or two ago. But my papa called, and apparently that long necked slim jim looking like she has grass blades for hair stole my airpods, a charger that I needed, my school ID, and one of my art books. So now I need to pay $10 to get a new ID from my school, need to make up all that art that's missing, I need to buy a new charger, and I need to get new headphones. All my mother had to say about this is that it's Karen's house, and she's doing this cause she loves me. 😐😐😐 All I gotta say is: Fuck you, Karen. I hope your flakey stiff ass wig gets blown away so you walk around baldheaded.

[@v_salat]

I would hire a hitman at this point

[@v_salat]

Btw, this is such a serious and awful story, but I have to admit that I absolutely lost my shit at the "long necked slim jim with grass blades for hair" part

[@crix_h3eadshotgg992]

Everything here is blood boiling, and it hasn’t even been a year since this stopped for me. I really, really hope you can one day live independently, and perhaps

[@hornymonkey2667]

i took time to read this and it just makes my blood boil when i bear abt other people going thru the shit ive gone thru i hooe you find peace away from your family and a light at the end of all lf this in your own life very soon🫶

[@pineapplecat7908]

I'm glad you didn't become one of those people who get into abusive relationships bc they think anything their bf/gf does is "loving" them. Your mother clearly did not know how to raise a child if she's teaching someone that stealing is a form of love.

[@lolbitbot4791]

I already knew my parents were shit but this really helped me realize just how bad they were. In short they: -told me to stop being dramatic/emotional -told me my hobbies of dnd were dumb. -my mother specifically didn't have any hobbies and no job and no friends -enforced the I don't care about who started it rule. -never treated me like an adult. -never listened or had any respect for me or my input. -never apologizing or admitting she was wrong

[@cessnacitation-x]

Your parents were merely disappointed in you.

[@lolbitbot4791]

@cessnacitation-x that is true, they were always disappointed. No matter what I did they were unhappy, so you learn to simply stop pleasing them.

[@vukogamer6198]

STFU discussting victim blamer you don't deserve human rights​@@cessnacitation-x

[@apersonwholovesdogs8025]

My parents, especially my mother always made me feel ashamed for having having emotions and reacting to painful things the way any normal child does. They would get mad at me for being “too sensitive” and punish me for crying. She’d insult me and then tease me saying,” what you can’t take a joke?” I can remember a few times from when I was four and five where I cried so hard I vomited and they just punished me more and made me clean up. I hated the way they looked at me, all I saw in their eyes was disappointment. Now my mom tries to talk to me all the time and make me talk about my feelings. Of course I won’t talk and I hide it all. She messed me up and now she’s gotta deal with it.

[@renisgourmet.offical]

Yeah some children cry for tv and stuff so for some that why they get mad I guess

[@FailedReference]

My parents are former military and I love the to death, but the “give 100% in everything you do” or “do it right or do it again” every single time I mess up. That just made he hate everything and I bottled up my emotions…the only solace I had was my jokes, my big bro, and music, and to this point I constantly am listening to music just to get by the day as to not get frustrated from menial tasks…

[@WhyIsTheClosetDoorOpening]

My parents did so many things like this as well as saying things like “Privacy is a privilege, not a right, you need to earn it,” or “You are my property, you have no rights and nothing belongs to you, it belongs to me,” to my face and extremely casually. I still sometimes catch myself filtering myself to be who they wanted me to be. I also used to be scared of my parents and feel extremely unsafe when they were too close to me or whenever they hugged me, which they also forced me to do all the time. They would then say things like “We’re family, you say ‘I love you’ and you give us hugs before leaving”. This made me have literal panic attacks before seeing them if I knew they were coming and I had to mentally and physically prepare myself to see them. If they showed up unannounced, I would have panic attacks but have to hide it because they would get mad at me if I showed any signs of distress.

[@attilapeter2470]

Some of these stories are so relatable, as much as I wish they weren't. My dad definitely was the worse (as in, connected to more of these negative stories, I still believe they were generally good parents), basically, I had this where I just randomly, for no reason at all, would start crying without being able to stop, and I remember my mom telling me to "stop crying, it will not solve anything" and so I supressed crying as hard as I could, and even after telling her numerous times, she still to this day can not see the possibility of that. My dad always told me and my younger brother that "you are so well off you don't know what to do but argue" even when we were arguing, there are cases where we were arguing or fighting, either because I was being an immature jerk and provoked him (which was mentioned in a story and recognized myself in that, but also recognized the fact that they hit both of us for it, or they hit my younger brother for the visible scratch marks, which has led us to basically wrestling, where no mark besides sweat was left so our parents didn't know.), but that's not the important of it, just this others have it worse thing makes me still think I have no problem, I very clearly do but doubt myself and feel like I'm overreacting, something they've told me a lot too, I overreact it, go back in nothing happened, then it came to night I rolled on my arm and cried out, that arm was broken. After 3 such incidents they said they'd give me responsibility over saying if I felt my hand was broken because 3 times they didn't believe me 3 times it was broken, but at that point I was so scared to falsely say my arm was broken. Now, I'll move on to what they've messed up in my brother. They definitely fucked up by expecting him to do as well as I did. I was like top of the school in elementary, got into a really prestigious highschool, did a little bit bad because I never learned to study, then learned to study and started doing well with solid grades each year. Now, my brother isn't stupid by any means, but he might not be at the same levels in either enthusiasm for school or intelligence, probably the first one but I can't tell because I'm not him, I suspect first option because otherwise he would take the time to sit down and study. There's also the fact that they treated us as if we were the same in terms of maturity, when I had to start doing a specifc chore, he had to do the same chore from then on despite being 2 years younger than me, and when I got my parents to allow me to play a videogame, he could then play that too, excusing both as equality, but in reality, both made us feel, I don't even know how to describe the word, I'm not that good at english, maybe jealous or angry would be the word. Anyways, few more things to add, "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about", immediately shut us up because we knew a slap was coming our way if we didn't, also how they looked genuinely suprised when dad walked up to us, raised his hand in the air and made a fast move to a hug and we flicnhed, like he's never hit us in our life. Of course if we say that we can't bring up exact dates because they were years ago. There are also quite a few reasons why I hate doing chores with my dad, he would give us things like cutting through a big chunk of wood with a small saw, while he had the electric saw somewhere else and could've used it to do it much faster. The other types of chores would be just repetitive and seemingly useless tasks I had to just do, I didn't like working with him, or going with him shopping etc., and I could tell my brother felt the same way because whenever we had to do chores one of us worked outside wuth dad one worked inside with mom and we'd rush to have a chance at working inside with mom just because she gave us reasonable chores, respected the time limits she set for how long we'd have to work and didn't tell stupid jokes that we've heard more than a thousand times by that point and of which we were tired to the point we stopped finishing them for dad and just let him say them. Now, I know I wrote kind of an essay here, please do tell me if based on this how you feel, is my dad right, do I have it so good I make up problems, or do I have problems I dismiss for psychlogical reasons.

[@maybe_]

"Do I have it so good I make up problems" no holy crap. There are names for the things you are going through. If I was you, I would start to research about emotional abuse. I know it's a heavy word but learning about it might help you make sense of what is going on and why your parents act that way. I just mention it, because it sounds like your reality is being ignored and it's disorientating. Like them not believing your arm broke, that's weird. Them comparing siblings in the way they're doing it is weird. The way chores are repetitive and useless (time limits??) is weird. The way it sounds like events are twisted is weird. Like, red flag weird. I don't know if it's possible for you, but if you ever get the opportunity to stay at another person's house- observe how their family interacts. Seriously, I don't know if you have psychological problems, but to me you definitely seem to have family problems. I know this reply is blunt as hell but I'm not sugarcoating it: sounds like you are being gaslit for real. Learn about it and things are way less confusing.

[@attilapeter2470]

@@maybe_ Thank you for your answer, I am pretty sure I have problems, like my almost crippling fear of seeming weak or dumb or bad that prevents me from asking around for my lost jacket, or going to psychologist, but I also believe some of my problems have been made up in my mind because keeping problems to myself and a community of people that don't see full picture of what's happening because I forget probably important details creates an echochamber for anxiety. I also think my parents don't have a concept of what emotional abuse may be.

[@v1ped]

yeah your parents are the problem

[@Nccp9]

Without getting too deep, I have had depression, anxiety, ocd, and probably more since around 8 years old or so, now recognizing it was due to how I was raised. My parents are great, but I still see so many of these stories in my own life. I have tried to ask each parent separately (divorced at around 3 yrs old) for antidepressants because I have thought about suicide at least once a day since age 8. Im 22 now, and the one time I saw a therapist, she told me "You likely have no idea what it feels like to be happy". Both parents brushed me off and said antidepressants aren't worth it, and have never mentioned depression since then. That was a couple years ago, but I still would rather kill myself than bring it up again because of how they would see me differently. I cant go alone because I dont know my dads insurance or how to even get help. Side note, dont use your kids as messengers for your divorce, and dont constantly pressure your kids for how much money they involuntarily cost. To this day I still starve myself over costing others money.

[@SarafinaSummers]

You too? OMG!

[@pineapplecat7908]

Your parents are fucked up. Have you considered moving out, because anything is better than living with them at this point if they're going to continue to put you down.

[@affsteak3530]

Story #4 Its really validating when three separate people look horrified when you recount one of your dad's "jokes". I may have cried myself to sleep that night, but at least now I have clarity.

[@catbatrat1760]

I'm confused: What's story 4 got to do with that? /genq

[@dadbear5316]

Didn't realize most of this wasn't normal, explains a lot 15:31 this was the biggest thing for me When a parent got cancer twice, when we were almost homeless, when people got violent. I (the youngest of five) ended up being the 'assistant parent' and had both parents vent to me specifically because I was "mature enough to handle it". To this day I am stuck feeling responsible for every stupid decision my family members make or when something bad happens in general, I am now the one that has to support my aging parents while my siblings live their lives going on vacations they can't afford. Sometimes I think about everything I would want to do differently to be a great parent for my kids, but then I realize that having kids requires actually being emotionally capable of going out and talking to people.

[@Lo_.]

My parents aren’t nearly as bad as some. They have been quite good, but also not really. Both my parents used to scream/ use angry voice on me, when I was a toddler, and punish me by making me stand in a corner and “think about my actions”. Till this day whenever I sense *the* tone in someone’s voice, I instantly either run away to my safe place and/ or start crying pretty much instantly - no exceptions. I also have a very short “cry-meter” in terms of personal topics (for example I’m crying rn writing this). I literally can’t even talk about how I want the world to change or what I hate about school without crying *every time* My younger brother also used to tease me for falling in love. I didn’t even tell him myself, my parents must’ve leaked it. So I just straight up stoped. Now whenever I like someone, I keep it a secret from literally every single soul on the planet - even my best friend doesn’t know a word about it. And I bet if I’d ever actually date someone, I’d still not tell my family until it just “comes out on it’s own”. It’s been fine for a while, my father has mostly cured his anger issues. But ever since my mother went to university, things have been getting out of hand again. My mom thinks she has to do everything, she’s a workaholic - and y’know how it is in university - no rest whatsoever. She has sleeping problems, but all she does is “just get through it”. She has 0 free time. She’s constantly complaining about school & work. Sometimes when I try to ask her something she’ll go on a rant of “Do you have even ANY idea of how busy/ hard it is for me…” with *that* voice. I just quit before she ends the sentence, bc of what I told you above. She has also threatened me with child services taking me to an orphanage, when I don’t do school.

[@Poodleinacan]

Damn, that's rough.

[@Thecircustapes]

Damn, I didnt think I could be more grateful to have parents who believe in cultivating mutual respect until watching this.

[@-DeMoN_bAbY-]

Listening to some of these stories has made me realize that my mom isn’t as good as a parent as I thought, and that what I’ve been feeling against her, is resentment. They also helped me look out for signs that show the kind of parent my mom is. I feel like learning how to be a good parent now at my age(I’m in middle school), is probably better than later in life, as it will leave an impression on me so I know how to treat or teach my future children.

[@JP.09.]

I've been feeling resentment towards them ever since I was younger and even until now it never really got away. They never apologized for what they've and I still suffer from the abuse of my childhood. It has quite a big impact on my personality and mental state. My mom keeps reminding me that she did everyone out of love but it's so painful that I can't really believe those words. This is the reason why I never dreamt of any romantic partner or having children cause I don't want them to suffer like I did. On top of that I don't have the patience or knowledge to be a capable parent either.

[@kaylanistirgus1361]

My parents were a lot of these things and it makes me really sad. I went through a lot and now I’m 21 with a dead mom, a step dad who I got away from years ago but I can’t escape from in my head because of the abuse. My mom is gone and I can’t talk to her. Most nights I cry because I wanna hear her say she’s sorry and explain herself for all the torment, manipulation she put me through as well as the things she allowed my step dad to do to me and what she allowed him to do when I tried to come out about it. On top of that she lied to me multiple times about who my father is and died with the actual answer. Now I don’t know who it is after being turned every other direction. Whenever I brought up stories she didn’t want me remembering she’d go crazy on me. She’d tell me I was remembering things wrong. I still don’t know who I am and battle reality daily. It’s a struggle knowing there’s so much out there and feeling like you’ll never be able to achieve any of it. I feel so broken at times, there’s so much of my childhood I’m trying to figure out and a lot of the time I blame myself, I think where I went wrong or how I’m thinking about it. I feel un-repairable and I feel that where I go doesn’t matter, I’m always gonna be in that house, quiet. So out there and full of life from a young age, such a people pleaser but I could never speak up for myself. I feel like I’m the issue, like it was me the whole time and then I see a video like this and break down. I break down because I can see the truth of who they were as clear as day but I’m still that broken quiet little girl, smiling wide for the whole world to notice instead of the constant anxiety I was in at such an early age. I want my childhood back and I want it to be better. It all happened and to this day I still feel like I’m processing it. Back and fourth with myself, one minute I’m sad with them and the next I’m disgusted with myself. I hate this

[@pineapplecat7908]

It's okay to vent, or book a therapist, or improve your mental health in any way possible. Your mom was obviously a dipshit, and you'll be able to achieve a lot of things if you really try. There's nothing wrong with you, and I hope you figure out who your dad is (I'm wondering if your mom has any records or written/typed conversations hinting at who he is)

[@gracewalden5014]

Story #1 is so relatable. In middle school more specifically 8th grade, I was going to one of my friends’ parties. He happened to be a guy. He was a very gay guy, but my parents were homophobic so I didn’t explain that to them. My mother was teasing me for being friends with the opposite gender. When I finally tried to explain he was gay, my mother told me that “I didn’t know what the word ‘gay’ meant.” I’m still friends with him, and he is still gay, 11 years later.

[@durema9720]

Wait doesn't this make her lesbian?

[@Felinea]

@@durema9720 what do you mean by that?

[@SusbriaWantsSushi]

My mother's logic was to continuously insult me throughout my childhood in hopes that I would want to "prove her wrong" and fix whatever she thought was a problem on my own. I genuinely can't remember a time where I felt that I had made her proud, only that I was a disappointment and I couldn't do anything right, or be anything she wanted me to be. One of the most common examples of this was her outwardly insulting the way I look, telling me that I was fat, pointing out my stretch marks, scars or acne, etc. When I was little I can't remember ever looking in the mirror and judging myself for any weight or anything like scars, scratches or anything. I only remember thinking about how much I loved dressing up all girly, wearing nothing but pink, skirts, dresses, tights, and only thinking about how much I loved wearing that stuff. As I got older and kept hearing more and more of her shit, I'm just about to turn 19 now, I struggle with body dysmorphia and go to extreme lengths to avoid my own reflection. I can't stand looking at my own body, having to shower is a borderline nightmare and I can't bring myself to believe any compliments. My mind is firmly set in a belief that everyone is lying to me, that they're only being nice to avoid hurting my feelings and that they actually think think that I'm disgusting, ugly, fat, stupid, a terrible artist, a terrible singer, anything you can think of. I hate living like this but I don't think this will ever change. Don't fucking do this to your kids. It's cruel, and it will fuck them up for the rest of their lives. You're going to think that they're going to forget everything you said, but they won't. I can promise you from experience that they will never forget what you did Tldr: ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID, ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID, RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD, RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD, RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD 💀

[@pineapplecat7908]

It's okay, you don't need to continue judging yourself. You can be who you want, love your own reflection, and tell your mother to fuck herself.

[@ayleth891]

The axe forgets, but the tree remembers

[@Croissant_Paws]

@@ayleth891i love this quote

[@raabbibi]

Making every conversation an intelligence test. My father had this habit of only asking me questions related to school or testing my knowledge. The more I grew up, the less I wanted to talk to him because every thing felt like a test. It didn't help that my mother and brother will criticize me for being stupid every time I got something wrong or admitted I didn't know something. I was so relieved when I started working and realized that it's ok to say "I don't know". I don't know everything and I don't have to know everything. It sounds evident, but it took me a different environment to realize that

[@TheBlackQueen]

FUCKING THANK YOU!!! One of the biggest reasons I never dated throughout school was because of how much I was teased in elementary school by all of my family members for being friends with a girl. Worst part was I actually did like her but the thought of showing such feelings just brought back all those tormenting emotions of embarrassment for daring to have feelings for another person. As a result, I never told her how I felt and then she gets knocked up in high school by some other guy and that sealed the deal for me that it was over and I long since missed my chance.

[@charles_sumner3088]

The first one is very true in my case. Literally every year of my life my parents and siblings has teased me over girls to the point where me now, a 25 year old man is terrified of talking to girls despite me growing desperately lonely. Their teasing would even extend to the point where if I talked about a GUY they’d tease me about it, so now I both can’t talk t girls and guys. The internet is now my only place where I can comfortably talk to people, thanks family!

[@matrix-di8oc]

same

[@Purplecreature36000]

Family members did this to me to the point I have no attraction to either genders and have lost interest in relationships all together I really could care less fuck you this bloodline dies with me because of you

[@Hello_Im_Weird]

Pushing kids more academically, while being annoyed at their academic achievements. I just graduated 8th grade, (14 yrs) my entire school career I've been pushed to be better. I've always been the 'gifted kid' in my family. Family of 7 kids (I'm the second oldest). My parents regularly tell me that 'you're not good enough." "You're lazy and you need to work harder" ect. I have been working harder each year of my life as long as I can remember, but just this year (struggling with depression, unable to so much other than homework and sleep at home) I worked harder than I ever had and pushed myself past my own personal boundaries in order to keep up my 'gifted child' reputation that is expected of me. It finally payed off and I finished this school year with multiple academic awards and on Honor Roll. My parents completely ignored this and literally didn't care because they find that 'normal' for me. As well as this, I'm considered really rude and lazy by my parents. While my peers and teachers say I'm hard-working and 'very kind natured'. I'm being sent to my fist appointment with a literally court-ordered therapist soon.

[@mykolapliashechnykov8701]

Listen kid, it's not too late for you. Run as soon as you can and never look back. Don't repeat my mistakes.

[@nebulapalette138]

A lot of these are really relatable. I'm currently in High school and in almost every musical class/program there is. My parents never came to any of them. As for experiences not listed, my parents never have cared about my grades or how I feel. Whenever we're in the car(whether I'm driving or they are) both of them dump out crap on to me. It's like they treat me like life is so good and everything they do I should be proud of like *I'm* their parent. I love my mom, not so much my dad, but my mom is here for me. My dad however, not so much. Hell, my parents are getting divorced right now and the other day we all got in an argument. I asked my dad, "Why do you hate mom more than you love us?" as in me and my siblings- and he said "well, unfortunately it's gotten to that point," and proceeded to yell at everyone for being "Disrespectful" and "inconsiderate." Like dad, where do you think i learned to not be respectful? He would always reply with "the internet" or "your mother" or something. I'm respectful around literally everyone besides my family. It's just messed me up to the point where I dont call anybody, I dont make many friends, I'm quiet, and I'm afraid of being yelled at. I don't cry for anything anymore, which really sucks becaus ei can never get my emotions out. F in the chat for all my homies dealing with the same stuff.

[@spacefan36]

Your voice is so calming and good. Love it! Also this video remembers me about some tricks my parents played on me :)

[@MainlyFact]

Oh thank you!

[@n2co2o2on]

wait, isn’t this audio from another channel…?

[@n2co2o2on]

okay I stand corrected, the audio is not tts but the posts are the same.

[@Pupperoo381]

15:53 It's like telling your kid that you or another important adult in their life was physically hurt by someone 'because they noticed something was wrong or different' (even when the kid shows no sign of noticing something was off)

[@izzyyy8256]

Something I remember that damaged me a lot was unfairness, sexism, and body-shaming. I remember when I was around 6 (13 now) me and my mom got into a fight before going to the store to buy snacks for the football game happening on TV. While we were there, my brother (I think he was around 10 at the time) asked for a large bag of potato chips. Snacks were something we rarely had in the house, so I thought that since he was allowed to get them, I could get one too. I was always small for my age, but I was a very heavy kid and am still in the process of losing weight. There was actually a reason as to why I was so heavy, I took medicine for my stomach at the time which was actually the adult version, so I had to eat extra the amount of food because if I didn't, I would get sick. When I asked for a small bag of hot Cheetos, my mom looked at me without saying a word and didn't speak to me the whole way home. When we got home, she beat the crap out of me in my room, calling me a fatty and a pig. We're all very heavy in my house, but I never quite understood why she was always picked on ME for being heavy until I realized that it was because I was the only girl (youngest with 3 older brothers). This led me to believe that I was inferior to men and my body was something I should be ashamed of. I never asked for anything at the store ever again and started to hate my body. It got so intense that I started to cut myself from 4th great to 7th grade when I passed out in class from blood loss. I saw a therapist for a while, but we ended up stopping because no one knew how much we were paying for the therapy. I remember my mother saying stuff like "oh of course you do this kind of stuff" and immediately telling my dad a whole other story which lead him to believe that I'm spoiled, an over-reactor, and that I wanted attention. The unfair treatment between me and my brothers is still continuing to this day and as I write this right now they are all going out while I stay to pet sit our dog and do my homework because I'm the girl of the house and my grade went down one percent. Parents, if your kids are heavier or lighter than each other treat them the same and HELP them get healthy, don't insult them on it because it can lead to a negative outcome. If your kids are different genders or sexuality, still treat them the same because it can lead to trust issues and feeling inferior or superior towards other people.

[@ijustexist_.13]

3:46 This part got really relatable, ever since third grade i've recognized as a gifted person, well when I was younger my mother kept pushing me to have my grades to only A's and would get upset whenever it was something lower, this really affected me, so getting something lower than a pefect score for me is immediate breakdown. Also because of this I get upset easy, and she would yell at me over getting upset about little things. I love my mom, it's just that she really took a toll in my mental health.

[@rainbeyes]

The covert incest thing is definitely revolting to experience as a kid. It's one thing for an adult to drop too much explicit info of their sex lives/traumatic childhood to another adult (still inappropriate and just a shitty thing to do, unless you're given consent to share the info, or if you're speaking with a therapist), it's another thing to be 12 and know the exact fine details of your parent's private affairs. You start to feel like a parent alongside them. That shit gets weird/creepy fast.

[@ExplosiveBanana9992]

The "I don't care who started it" one hits hard for me. My little sister likes to insult me, provoke me into rage, and sometimes even initiate a fight with me, then cries and pays victims when she loses said fight. To make it worse, one time she sayed dehumanizing things towards me for being a furry. Pretty sure my parents see me as a psychopath for this, seeing as how one time they have threatened to turn me into the police.

[@ericgolightly8450]

Excuse me they *what?*

[@hornymonkey2667]

you deserve so much love im sorry for you :(

[@EmperorProtects1]

@@cactuscartocratus7228 Dear god what did furries do to you for you to hate them so goddamn much?

[@ExplosiveBanana9992]

@@cactuscartocratus7228 ok, i don't care

[@lionsgamers592]

If am honest with you I would kinda annoy you for being a furry lol. But always in that jokingly-friendly like way never being actually serious. Saying dehumanizing things is just to much.

[@pissbaby6662]

I relate to this, talking about my family they were pretty problematic, throughout my life so far I've almost ended up dying or have injured myself badly, they shrugged it off and laughed about it. For example, I was 8-9 at the time, we were driving during winter and the car went spinning out of control and I was thinking I was going to die, I was crying and holding on tight to the car door, we landed inches away from having a large tree falling over on top of us in somebody's yard. My dad was strict, thought everyone around him was stupid, a bad influence, and/or on drugs. He blamed everything on me, or people on my moms side of the family. He whipped me when I was 5 to maybe 6-7? Embarrassed me infront of people purposely, and made fun of me when I cried my guts out, controlled what I did, where I was, what I ate, wore, etc.. Said I was ungrateful multiple times, etc.. My mom used to get so pissed at me for asking her to turn the music down in the car, she has threatened to hit me multiple times and made me so scared once that I locked myself in the bathroom when she was mad at me once and I stayed in there crying for about an hour or more. She didn't give a crap about what I felt, and barely tells me anything. She forced me to meet her boyfriend and go out with him to do 'fun' activites when I honestly felt mixed emotions, upset, and honestly scared/creeped out. I once tried to come out to my mom and she told me I had to legit WAIT til a certain point in my life to be WHO I AM. My parents ended up causing me to bottle up my emotions because they would just make fun of my emotions and make me feel weak. My parents were overprotective and said I wasn't depressed and suicidal when I was all alone and committed self harm. Honestly I could talk about this for hours but I'll end it here.

[@pissbaby6662]

My dad also made rude jokes about peoples race, LGBTQ+, etc.. He also didn't let me keep my door closed.

[@hwgray]

"shrugged it off and laughed about it" Must have had my mother as their teacher. "You're too sensitive!"