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@heathermachala76233 жыл бұрын
Omg.... I told my daughter to shut up once at 8 years old. She's 15 and I'm still apologizing at times. It hurt her so much. I lost it that day. The stress was so high. I agree with you so much on all of this! And if the worse thing I ever did was say shut up, I think I've done pretty well. Lol
@ZoeF.O3 жыл бұрын
@@heathermachala7623 Yep. You made it! ♥️ You've done it perfectly. You somehow managed to probably spoiled the girl, with your need for the excessive number of apologies. I mean, seven (7) years ago, you told her to shut up. 🥱 Well, you're nothing but toxic! Punk mommy! ANARCHIST! If you'd just told her once (1) that you were sorry, and that mom had a really terrible day, but NOW you felt even worse because you were rude to such a good girl, maybe the kid would have liked that mom was admitted her wrong move, so mom apologized right away, so the kid would have figured out her mommy wasn't a robot, and that mommy's not the perfect creature either. 🤷 Don't get me wrong, please, I don't know your kid, and they are not all the same, maybe I am completely off with this one, and I know that some kids just need that extra care... ♥️ I honestly didn't mean to be rude and offend you or anyone else, and if I did, I apologize for my hassled reasoning and for being so murr 😬, I had super long and hard day (I should have already learned not to comment among the people I really appreciate and love, after dancing all day, and then dancing half the solo show - I'm pro ballet dancer in Royal Theater in Amsterdam 🌷). I just realized how much I need to get in the tub and then (running) to sleeping mode. I am really obnoxious and I'm so sorry :(
@Jojo-gg6jc3 жыл бұрын
I just found your channel and I am so intrigued by your story. Your so open and honest about your life. I have to say your amazing with everything you have gone through, you would be an amazing inspirational speaker, your story is so inspiring and I have so many questions I would love to ask you. But I am sure by watching your videos I'm sure I will have my answers. Your parenting is pretty much like my sister's. I'm so happy to have found your YT channel and look forward to beinge watch your videos. God bless you and your beautiful family 🙏❤️🙏
@Heartz4Grace3 жыл бұрын
Hey btw what was it you got into prison for?
@ZoeF.O2 жыл бұрын
@@Heartz4Grace You have to be kidding... Everything is on her channel, good, bad and ugly. Just subscribe and join us family "ride or die" crew. We have cookies. 🦝
@lucysour3 жыл бұрын
I'm here with no children, watching this entire video because listening to Jess talk about something passionately is the best way to start the week. 💗
@abbeyr0se3 жыл бұрын
I feel this comment!!!!!!
@Bellavanacoffee3 жыл бұрын
@@abbeyr0se Monday motivation! Love me some Jess.
@hamsternationrules71443 жыл бұрын
Same!! ❤️
@OU-tn4nt2 жыл бұрын
I agree with you 💯 Jessica's videos are amazing and I am sure that they are a inspiration and helping a lot of people on their road to recovery 😉
@wwew24576893 жыл бұрын
Idc what anyone says “I got spanked as a kid and I’m fine” first of all, I guarantee you’re not “fine,” second of all, just because you turned out okay, doesn’t mean everyone will. Violence breeds violence. No sense in correcting your childrens behavior by doing something you would punish them for doing. Completely asinine.
@GorgieClarissa3 жыл бұрын
Thank you!!! I get so sick of comments that spew this. Since when has violence ever against a helpless child ever been good?
@mael20393 жыл бұрын
the person who says "and I turned out fine" no, you turned into a person who believes domestic violence is okay when it's done to children. That's not what I'd call "fine". I think that sometimes people are not in a mind space where they can accept that what happened to them was wrong, they're not emotionally ready for that, so they just don't. And I understand that, I do, but once you're thinking about having your own children, you need to find ways of working through that, because otherwise you will just continue the cycle
@lilhippie71933 жыл бұрын
I got spanked a lot and I am okay, I’m thankful my parents were strict. Who knows where I’d be without that. Not just spanking but groundings, chores etc. It taught me responsibility. I’m only 22 and don’t have kids nor am I saying I agree with spanking but I’m glad that I had that.
@ehanoo.ehanii3 жыл бұрын
It’s tough love and it’s not for everyone. I don’t need you feeling sorry for me and I def will not feel sorry for myself. So I will say I got spanked as a kid and I turned out fine. I learned lessons QUICK. Which in a neighborhood with run down schools, violence and upcoming hardships where my feelings had to be disregarded I’m thankful for or I’d be dead for stupidity. And just because my parents spanked me doesn’t mean I didn’t get the benefits of a parents who sits down and calmly speaks to their child. They made me understand why I couldn’t just cry and listened to me after a quick snap out of it(quick spank) . And as a child I was open with my parents and let them know why I really wanted a toy and why I was sad. I knew how to have open conversations . At age 8 I wrote them a letter thanking them for spanking me and thanking them for raising me correct. I wasn’t ashamed of my parents spanking me ever. They never hit me when they were mad and they took their time to let me know why. And I was always able to safely go to them and always told them everything. Cause they’re my parents. Spanking isn’t just willy nilly, it toughens you up breaks the entitlement in a child. I needed that as a kid and teen. I grew thick skin and nope I didn’t turn out violent. A lot of violent people are just entitled brats. Who feel the world owes them and their feelings so when nothing else works they turn to screaming and violence. Which in Mexican households these entitled brats are men due to some still strong misogynistic views. Through all of this I am still very aware of my feelings it’s all a balance and I’m able to put my feelings first or tough it out. I’m Mexican and with being empathic. Life was though for me it was always going to be cause of where I was raised and all that. My parents didn’t need to teach me that life did. Well my parents learned that lesson too as kids as they also went through hardship. We understand that if us ourselves almost didn’t make it and it was at times just luck helping us, then how can we expect everyone to make it. We understand life can be difficult and how important being happy is. That’s how we learned empathy. We saw people turn to alcoholism and drugs, and we always had our home open to them despite ourselves never falling into that. Cause we knew truly what they must have felt and we saw it enough to see how quickly it could become so dangerous.
@JustJulie20243 жыл бұрын
Very well put. Just because they are kids don’t mean their feelings aren’t valid. Because they are VERY VALID. I went through the rough thing with having almost 5 year old an Newborn. It affects the oldest one no matter what. Idk 🤷🏽♀️ especially with 5 years (exactly 1 month from 5 years) so yeah that’s hard
@sarahd42643 жыл бұрын
Nothing has ever spoken to my soul more than “one child is like one child and two are like 20” so much yes 😩🤣
@LoveLaw3 жыл бұрын
Lol and my daughter is 18 months and people constantly ask me when the next one is. But one is keeping me plenty busy!
@alisondelli-gatti85003 жыл бұрын
SOOOO MUCH YES😹
@athenaamethyst83853 жыл бұрын
Yes. 😭 I have a 3.5 year old and an 11 month old. Oy... I love both my kids but i sometimes miss it just being me and my oldest all day.
@TheM1633 жыл бұрын
As a teacher I want to say that you are doing great Jessica. Especially, with your 5 year old Riley for a child at that age to be able to verbalize that she wants to play by herself that is a great reflection on you as a parent. I just want to say that you just keep doing what you are doing.
@JessicaKent3 жыл бұрын
Ty!!
@conniecompton96243 жыл бұрын
I’ve been parenting this way for a long time. Everyone thinks I’m crazy . My kids are 24,21,and 20 right now and are great humans. I never believed spanking would help. It made no sense to me 🙏🏼 I’m glad I did it my way because my kids are great and kind and they love there momma 💕 great video Jess 👌
@ZoeF.O3 жыл бұрын
If you have raised your kids to be great humans, (at 20, 21 & 24), why's everyone still thinks that you are crazy? :/
@lynncrf3 жыл бұрын
Spanking is illegal in my country. Can't believe it was ever legal to hit your kid in the first place.
@dominikaksiazek71773 жыл бұрын
@@lynncrf where do you live? In the most of countries it's illegal but people still do it... Nobody can see what's going on behind the closed door.
@leslienolan42673 жыл бұрын
Girl, I parent this way also, so glad to hear you talk about it. Empathizing with their feelings is so important- slamming doors, tantrums, etc. happen because they don't necessarily have the vocabulary or ability yet to vocalize what's going on. I always tell my kids, "It's ok to have feelings and to feel this way, but it's all in how you deal with it". So while I understand the slamming of doors, throwing things, etc, we always talk about calm down strategies or how they could better handle this same situation next time, etc. That way they have those tools in their toolbox and can implement them the next time. You did awesome, not too rambly at all!!!!! Keep killin it Mama!!
@ValerieCamai3 жыл бұрын
I work with kids, and the whole "crisis, like if their sock feels weird" SPOKE TO ME. Kids can be hilarious hahaha
@ivanna4573 жыл бұрын
Same here! tell me about it plus one of my niece's is now 14 and wears her "weird" socks inside out to this day *sigh
@Lauren-gs1eh3 жыл бұрын
I was that kid. I had to wear clothes that were 2 sizes too big cause I hated how it felt on my skin 😂. I’m not like that anymore but I’m very glad my mom was patient with me and worked with my weirdness.
@KatieM7863 жыл бұрын
@@ivanna457 I'm 37 and I wear all my socks (and tights and stockings) inside out. Do the seams not hurt your toenail cuticles if they are outside-out?
@maple-v2v3 жыл бұрын
(Excuse my English) I think clothes feel weird too, and that is due to my sensory issues caused by the fact that I have mild autism. It's so important to investigate further these types of sensory issues, validate them and I can't express that enough. I'm autistic and proud and autism is not a tragedy, we just need a little bit more adjustment, even if someone "doesn't look autistic".
@ivanna4573 жыл бұрын
@@Lauren-gs1eh I'm still like that
@TanyaElisabeth3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for this. I’ve adapted gentle parenting for my son. He’s autistic and has adhd, amongst other issues and by and large the most important “rule” is self care.
@Blueroo233 жыл бұрын
I work as a nanny and gentle parenting has created such a great bond with my kids. Letting them know that I’m listening and acknowledging how they’re feeling and redirecting situations honestly makes my job easier and my kids trust me
@annaturgeon833 жыл бұрын
As an early educator I can say I personally use all the tools you discussed with my preschool students. It really makes a difference!
@LoveLaw3 жыл бұрын
I was spanked and yelled at as a child. People would often compliment my parents on how well-behaved her kids are. But I was a master secret keeper and I never felt comfortable confiding in my parents, which meant going through a lot of tough things alone. My mom only found out as an adult about some of the bullying I experienced. I internalized everything and because I was taught not to cry about it, I kept everything in for so long. I developed anxiety and would be scared to admit to making a mistake for fear of punishment - even things that were accidental. As an adult all of this translated into an someone with rejection issues, anxiety and I really struggled to let people in. It took years of therapy to work through my childhood and finally realize that my upbringing was traumatic and not healthy, and that my coping mechanisms had to change. I always believed I was a difficult child and the problem was me. I now have a baby girl and I am determined to raise her to feel comfortable to confide in me, and to respect me rather than fear me.
@kosuzumotoori2 жыл бұрын
I am so happy you were able to come through this. I wish you the best with your child.
@Ladyblue76202 жыл бұрын
U just narrated my story. Hope you are living a better life now.
@lubomirkucerajr3 жыл бұрын
I wish I had a mother like you, with all your flaws and your ability to reflect on them. Overcoming struggle takes a lot of strength and it really builds the character.
@beckyklepper3153 жыл бұрын
Yes!!! Giving them the words to use to teach them to communicate emotions is SO GOOD! As an educator, I thank you for that!! Meltdowns vs tantrums are different. I'm proud of you for sharing this! I have 3 boys 27, 24 and 18. We have to train kids how to be adults and they learn more from watching us than we ever realize.
@moontan_3 жыл бұрын
Cleaning my last house of the day, this comes at the right time to keep me company. My parenting style is mostly me being the person I needed when I was younger but never had. ❤
@secrettracy4063 жыл бұрын
My daughter is two months old, and im so glad that you've made this video, I've learned a lot. I haven't been in jail or prison but I've come close and I'm working on getting out of that criminal mindset. You've helped me understand to give my family and myself time with everything that has happened, I feel like corporal punishment and isolation as a replacement for grounding was a factor in the activity that I've done. I don't believe that parenting style is appropriate for my family, but it was the only way that I thought punishments could be done. So thank you for helping me learn
@MaddHeather3 жыл бұрын
I am parenting after addiction... I been clean almost 3 years.. I have a 16 year old daughter and my son will be 2 in December and I'm with you 100% on your parenting style and it really does start at home.. my daughter is a great human already and I am just so blessed!
@bluemermaid47683 жыл бұрын
Congratulations on being clean. Well done you 🙂 that can't have been easy 👏
@Ivanchica19873 жыл бұрын
For everyone saying that people cannot change, this woman is a living breathing example this is simply not true. She should be very proud of herself because she has come a LONG way, she is now an educated individual, a self-made woman, the language that she uses, the approach with her children, the explanations she gives, it just goes to show that you make or break yourself, and she decided to re-build herself as a person for the sake of her, her children, husband and family and you cannot do anything else but say - BRAVO! I mean girl, you are a true inspiration!
@TheFirestarter19923 жыл бұрын
I love that you are talking about this!! I’m a childcare worker, and gentle parenting has such a bad reputation, but I think it’s so good for kids. I think it helps them develop their social emotional skills so much.
@kkswiftie273 жыл бұрын
Hi from Virginia, Jess! Thank you for always being open to our questions and allowing us to be a part of your family/ride or die crew! You truly have changed my perspective on people in prison and who they are outside of prison! Can’t wait to hear more about your perspective on gentle parenting!
@rebeccazeman93093 жыл бұрын
Perfect timing! My sister is being investigated by CPS currently and my niece may end up in my care.
@Becuzidowhatiwant3 жыл бұрын
I've been saying this for so many years... Talk to your kids like mini adults, listen to their emotions. This works! I have adults now and it's worked wonderful
@pukeachu6 ай бұрын
The sort of approach you're describing has led to a gay-ification of our entire culture
@Alexacake193 жыл бұрын
Do I have kids? Nope. Do I ever want kids? Nope. Am I going to watch a parenting video by Jess? Absolutely 🤣💖 This was great and important!
@OU-tn4nt2 жыл бұрын
You are doing an amazing job Jessica and I don't think that there's anyone in the world who can say that they are perfect. Anyway keep up the great work as I truly believe that your videos are helping more people than you realize. I just want to say thanks on behalf of all the people that you are helping by doing what you are doing.
@amandafabres3 жыл бұрын
your video literally made me cry! I have an 11 month old daughter who is also the kind of baby that is easy to care for. and everyday i try my best. It's not easy, most of us grew up without good examples. Thank you
@joannacardoso11153 жыл бұрын
I’m sure you’re doing great Amanda. Much love and many blessings to you and your baby girl 🤍
@cortniegoodrich58153 жыл бұрын
You’re such a beautiful person Jessica. Inside and out. You’re an inspiration for a lot of people. What a blessing you are to this world.
@eraine26303 жыл бұрын
Coming from a broken home my heart is so warm just hearing your methods and thoughts on gentle parenting. There’s so much chaos and so many emotions children feel the best thing for them is a stable gentle loving home.
@suzannerekseom89092 жыл бұрын
As someone who has studied child development I can just say that you are totally right on doing what your feelings say, in that that sensitivity to what you children need and are telling you. That's the most important thing in parenting.
@babybobbie10003 жыл бұрын
Yay!!! I was so wanting this video. “Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you know how to parent someone else’s kid” yes 🙌🏼🙌🏼
@MoonMagickMayhem3 жыл бұрын
I FEEL you on a such a deep level with the "One child is like one, two is like twenty"!!! Especially because, like you, my first was so well-behaved, so chill. And I'm glad because since I was a single mother from the time she was born til she was about 4. Her dad and I were good friends who officially became exclusive less than a month before I found out I was pregnant. We didn't last long before things became toxic and though he helped financially, he cared more about work than spending time with her and when he was there, he was busy putting me down and saying we ruined his life and hated that he ever met me. All in front of our child. It took a couple years to develop a better co-parenting relationship, but to this day, with her being 9, he still can't properly care for her on his own. He feeds her crap fast food, doesn't make her do chores or hold responsibilities, sleeps while she entertains herself, and sometimes takes her to hang out with his friends... none of which are parents or even like kids. So while I'm glad they do have some sort of relationship, he's more her friend and the "fun parent", while I have to be the responsible one but I definitely try to make time for fun and one on one time with her. It sucks because he also lives with his family and has less bills so he can afford to do more fun things with her and I feel bad I can't. I'm also grateful that husband loves her as his own and has since we got together when she was 4 and is much more responsible. He works hard for our family while also understanding the importance of quality time and structure. My oldest was 7 when my second child was born, after 6 miscarriages. And I just knew my second would be my hellion and boy, is she! She's a Leo all the way! She needs all the attention, all the time. She is loud and very rough-and-tumble and often beats up her big sister (my oldest is a sensitive Cancer so that's fun... /sarcasm). But they bonded so much. To the point where my toddler goes crazy when my oldest is at her dad's for the weekend. She cries and calls her name and it breaks my heart so much cuz she's 2 and a half... she doesn't understand where her sister/best friend went and why. And then not long after having my second, I got pregnant again.. my surprise pandemic baby haha. She is a Capricorn like myself. Very chill, very determined, but nothing like either of my older kids. And as hard as two under two is, I know if my middle kiddo wasn't as wild as she is, it would be easier. She alone is like 20 kids haha. Doesn't help that the pandemic means she hasn't gotten to be around other kids and learn healthy socialization skills. Social to her is the people at Target oohing and awwing her andbher beautiful curls and one dimple while shopping at Target... qhich doesn't help much when she already thinks the world revolves around her haha. So I think she'll be the first of my kids who will need pre-school (I never went, nor did my oldest and we just didn't really have that need to socialize at a young age. My oldest and I are very similar in how easy-going and naturally smart we are... not like we're genius or anything haha, but just adapted easily as kids (muchbl harder as an adult haha. And ADD doesn't help me and I think my oldest has either ADD or ADHD too. We're working on getting her in for an eval so she won't have to endure what I didn't only to be diagnosed at age 29. I know it's all called ADHD these days but I often use ADD because I have the Inattentive Type... no hyperactivity). My youngest is very much seems to be like me as well, so far (she's 11 months so only time will tell). But being a Capricorn like me, and a fellow earth sign like her dad (Virgo), I think we'll all somewhat be on the same page. I do well with Earth signs. I like logic, practicality, and stability. So my fiery Leo and her actions just don't compute for me. But I love her to death, of course. I just can't imagine if I had to be a single mom to my middle child... she already tests my sanity daily haha. And I think with her personality type, as hard as it is for her and for my husband and I, she NEEDS to share the attention with siblings so she doesn't get stuck in that "It's all about me" mindset. But I too am all about gentle parenting, while also understanding that every kid needs things done in a way that suits their personality. I never even had to raise my voice at my oldest. It actually would have been worse. She's too sensitive. She tends to beat herself up a lot (her dad and K both do this, but I don't do it out loud in front of her on purpose. I wish her dad would work on that because I hear her repeat the same phrases he says. I tell her I won't let anyone talk about my daughter like that... including herself. We all mistakes and it DOES NOT make you stupid or a failure. My husband even tells me the same thing now at times when I start feeling like a shit mom. My second requires that stern, straight-faced, firm way of parenting (not to be confused with physical punishment/being abusive), of having to ignore her screaming at times (when I know she is safe and not in need of something), which I don't like doing, but otherwise she think it's all a game. So I get it. Man, I wish you lived in North Florida haha. I could use a mom friend like you. One who gets my mental health issues, my trauma, my introverted personality and social awkwardness, but can also relate to being different. I am a tattooed, witchy, spooky mom who likes her eye makeup as dark as her pretty much all-black wardrobe haha. But I am the mom friend who wants to love and take care of everyone. I'm blunt and honest, while always trying to remain open-minded and learn from others. I have a passion for psychology, documentaries, true crime, makeup, photography (I love being on both sides of the camera), art and music in general, etc. I'm spiritual but not religious. I love learning about other cultures, belief systems, etc while fighting for human rights in any and every way possible (LGBTQ+ hit closest to home, but mental health, race and gender equality... all of it). I feel like you and I have a lot in common, but enough differences that we could learn from each other. And that's my favorite thing when it comes to connecting with others... let's find common ground, but also try to teach each other different perspectives in a respectful way. I LOVE a respectful debate where both sides don't just talk, but LISTEN. Okay, I'll stop being a creepy random chick on the internet trying to be your friend and go back to watching your videos and learning haha.
@deirdreheil93812 жыл бұрын
Amen. I had two boys 11 months apart. Theyre one and two now and girl, like 20 is an understatement.
@pattytracey31313 жыл бұрын
Retired teacher here. You are spot on Momma!!!!! Especially the phone advice!!!!
@bigk82103 жыл бұрын
I like that your emphasis isn't on treating your kids equally; it's on treating them fairly. 👍🏻
@brittanydefrance54933 жыл бұрын
Love your shirt!! My brothers took me to my first concert-system of a down when I was 10 years old!!😂❤️
@letsgetreal30762 жыл бұрын
I don't even have kids but loved this video. The amount you have achieved personally through hard work and having real insight into yourself and others is phenomenal. I always say this in my comments to you - kudos Jess.
@sophiajuorio57103 жыл бұрын
Jess, the people watching are living in the free world and some have incarcerated loved ones, can you make a video describing what we can do from the outside to support our inmates while they are incarcerated and after they are released? I'm at a loss at how to handle this situation and I can't be alone! 💖💖 Thanks for your content! It truly helps me understand my partner's position and changed my attitude about prison.
@queeenjoanna103 жыл бұрын
wow this comment is so underrated. yes I agree with you Phia. Jessica Kent is truly the meaning of inspiration. I would love love love love to meet her one day. Ps: I’m From San Jose ca.
@Sewingistherapy3 жыл бұрын
It really makes such a difference when you treat your children with respect and validate them and treat them like the human beings they are.
@The0Patt3 жыл бұрын
You are doing great. I tried for the same thing with my kids: now 27 and 30. This book was very instrumental in my parenting philosophy: "How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk"
@jayjay-6023 жыл бұрын
Girlfriend - your makeup skills grow exponentially every video!! This is a pro level beat - and you look STUNNING!! so beautiful to see your growth all the time ❤️🙌🏽 much love
@aprils58813 жыл бұрын
This is so much like how I parent my boys... not perfectly, but making progress... and ending so many traumatic and downright abusive ancestral cycles in my family... Kudos, Jen, for using your platform to normalize so many important topics. Your light shines bright, chickadee. We have so much in common, it's eerie at times. (Except I'm probably much older than you (42yo), but my kids are younger than yours. 6& just turned 3yo. And have no contact with ex, intentionally celibatefor 2 years and counting, so raising them on my own. Not saying it's any better or worse, just the only main differences I've noticed. My oldest and I are also on the spectrum. I'm newly diagnosed, so learning how to deal with being neurodiverse, while working through healing a lot of trauma, abuse etc... it's been the most liberating and uncomfortable. But oh so worth it!) Sure I yell occasionally, but I am quick to apologize if it happens. Always say please and thank you, treat them with the respect I expect them to show others etc... We are raising the future!🥰 Much love.
@aleksandralempart83053 жыл бұрын
Jen??
@acatnamedjimmy80603 жыл бұрын
I love this. I’m a nanny but I know the way I was brought up (super similar story to you) DID NOT work. I’m a big fan of gentle parenting and I’ve seen it work with almost every kid I’ve ever nannied. Kids are different though and one kid flourishes with one thing, the other kids absolutely needs to the opposite. I appreciated when you said “you know your baby” because so many moms I’m around ask me things and question their own gut feeling. I always ask them “what do YOU feel and think?” Nine times out of ten, the mom knows what to do and simply second guessed themselves. ♥️♥️♥️ Thank you so much for being honest and sharing everything. I’m a year clean and I finally feel like myself again. Your channel has given me the confidence to think that I could have kids and be a good mom, regardless of my past.
@LavenderLushLuxury3 жыл бұрын
Your one of the strongest people I know Jessica! Love You.
@cristyl86323 жыл бұрын
Yes girl, we know our babies! Don’t let others tell you how to parent and listen to your child’s needs is the greatest advice.
@jadestone82383 жыл бұрын
I like your parenting style. I should’ve done this with my child. I struggle with her not listening to me. She’s 16 now, and thinks she runs the world. Everything I say is in one ear and out the other. She can’t handle being told no. I’ve given in to her too much when she was little, and now I’m paying for it
@Ambirdy1233 жыл бұрын
The saying “there is no try, just do or do not” really resonates with me & you are DOING IT👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 you may think you’re not “perfect” but perfect is only a construct that exists based on an individuals views.. you are present, putting in the effort, time and energy to recognize your children’s needs, to help them feel safe and loved and confident and teaching them to work through their emotions while being patient and providing material needs for them and THAT is all that a child could ever ask for from a parent. They will thank you later if they don’t already. You are appreciated by many, Jess.
@jessicagameros53213 жыл бұрын
I think there is definitely a try... or else how would you get to the point of it being done?
@samg8733 жыл бұрын
@@jessicagameros5321 Just doing it
@jessicagameros53213 жыл бұрын
@@samg873 you can't do something without trying to do it, or else the dishes would magically wash and put themselves away
@annabanana79513 жыл бұрын
This video is so informative and I appreciate how much you stress that you're not perfect and just doing gentle parenting the best you can! I was originally intimidated by gentle parenting, thinking I had to be perfect from the start which is so unrealistic. Now, I aim for 80/20 where I get it right 80% of the time because I'm human and certainly not perfect. Some days I get it 90% right, some days 60% but I look at each interaction as a chance to try again and get better. It's definitely a learning curve but the longer you work at it, the easier and more natural it becomes. Thanks for sharing, Jess!! You are an amazing mama 💜💜
@aylahuseyinoglu62743 жыл бұрын
It actually makes me a bit emotional, it sounds like you're a wonderful parent. I think it's one of the most important things to raise children who know what their emotions are. Everyone deserves respect and it'll teach them to respect other people too. I LOVE IT :D
@allisonrosinski12643 жыл бұрын
Thanks for posting this and sharing your experience. I cannot imagine how you felt parenting again after being discharged from prison in a system that makes it nearly impossible to move forward. You have worked so hard and are an inspiration for all.
@erinnicole53483 жыл бұрын
This was great, thank you. I can relate a lot to your story so I love hearing about your experience as a mother.
@davidhire57 Жыл бұрын
Your kids have a totally awesome mom. "Gentle parenting"!!! It's so refreshing to know there are some great kids who will become great adults. There IS real hope for the future for mankind!!! Even one great person can make a world of difference for so many others!!! 🙏😇❤
@casseroli.3 жыл бұрын
I appreciate you and your videos, makes my day better
@Lisa.M.3 жыл бұрын
So many thoughts that would create a long post (all good). I will just say AMEN! AMEN! AMEN x a million! You are doing great!
@oriaaspenalexander3 жыл бұрын
I hope to be like you when I am a mom, reading what my kids need and how they feel. You are an amazing mother, and I'm sure your children benefit from it a greatly. Just the act of trying to understand them and speak to them with respect is so amazing to me. We all make mistakes, but recognizing them and making change is the most important part. So many parent don't even think about what they may be doing wrong, you are a true supermom.
@shoshiklein2153 жыл бұрын
As a Special needs I needed to see this. We all need to be a little more patient. Do I make mistakes Yes. But its coming from a place of not having a good role model. Parenting is a work in progress. Thank you
@VGC833 жыл бұрын
I have been watching your videos while up all night with my newborn. Thank you for helping me maintain my sanity and for creating such thoughtful content! 💕
@Bellavanacoffee3 жыл бұрын
Yes listen to your instincts not what your family thinks they know. Loved all of this. Aww sweet baby Micah I can just picture her sweet face!
@qu33nofthegreen3 жыл бұрын
Exactly what I need on this Monday morning 🧡 Much love Jess!
@loretta_38433 жыл бұрын
You don't give yourself enough credit. I know it's difficult to do online, but you've done so well and I don't know how you did it! (Lots of love for your child, but making good choices can be hard day by day!😉)
@multibuttercup1013 жыл бұрын
"Or we can just bond and yall can shut up" PERIOD 💯💯
@juanessedonnelly79943 жыл бұрын
Your kids have the best mum for sure. love you Jess ❤️❤️❤️
@claritybadb2 жыл бұрын
As someone raised with constant criticism and lots of yelling, I need to say thank you for both practicing and endorsing gentle parenting. I just had an panic attack today that I later realized was definitely a throw back to shame and blame I learned as a kid. I lost a gift card. Like hello- not that bad. The parent voice in my head, though, yelled at me for being irresponsible and unreliable. Smh. Gentle parenting is so, so important. I don't want kids and I know my gf and I are better off without. I will always thank people who practice gentle parenting, because little Connie needed more of that.
@Laurenmcd2023 жыл бұрын
If I ever become a mother I can only hope I’m as half as good as you ☺️❤️
@MichelleFaithLove3 жыл бұрын
So touching. I used Gentle Love with my daughter. I never said I don’t like when you do blah blah. I said, “I love you unconditionally, I do not like your Behavior at this moment.” Let us take a break and try again later.” With love always. I let her know her emotions were valid and I’m here for you. I also let her know that if she needed to vent her bedroom was her haven and she could chill or whatever she needs in there. Yell, play, nap or make a mess and then I would sit with her and let her express her feelings. I’m so proud of the human she is. Positive Reinforcement and tons of Love. My Baby is a healthy happy adult who I look up too. Great Video Jess. Happy Holidays to all. 😌
@NotUnique_3 жыл бұрын
I love this so much thank you can't wait to watch the rest of this video
@reneehomen22263 жыл бұрын
Amen! I too raised two daughters. An adventure to say the least. Yes I agree, you know your child better than anyone. I despise that phrase " shut up".. You have a beautiful way you parent your girls. Kindness is sorely lacking in this world . I never hit my kids when they were children either.
@monicagoswami41 Жыл бұрын
Definitely was interesting. I don't have kids but you gave me something to think about. Thank. Luv your channel. Thank you for you telling your story.
@pambeyers77443 жыл бұрын
Your such a good Momma! We never get it perfect. Ever. But for ur girls to no u try sooo hard means the most. Your all just going thru life together. And together is what matters.
@cc67893 жыл бұрын
Hi from VA, Jess!! I haven’t been this early in SO long so I wanted to drop a comment to say I’m so proud of how far you’ve come!! ❤️ sending lots of love to you and yours.
@marissacuster40553 жыл бұрын
I feel like gental parenting has always had a bad name. I thought it was ridiculous honestly untill I watched this video. This is exactly how I want to raise my kids honestly. I wish I had respect like this growing up and ill be sure to give my kids the respect I always wanted. Love you jess!!
@defonthana3 жыл бұрын
I am thirlled about this video, currently pregnant and i told my husband already about your parenting and how it resonates with what we feel is right. So this comes just right! :D i had also the kind of childhood were ... you know i want to be better than that. I fear so much not being able to love ...because my parents could not express love in the way, not even feel maybe to extend. And i hope and want to be loving and reflected and listening to the children. I believe kids are not our property... i cannot tell them what to be or what job to have, as long as i can teach kindness, gentleness and love and let them see for themselves. i dont want to be talking over their head and really respect them even in young age when you may think "they cant understand you" or "they wont remember". and the empathize thing is the mos timportant i think! i feeeeel what you are saying!! and what feel is also important is to..let them feel you are human too. Apologize when making a mistake. I will apologize to them if i lose my temper and explain that i was upset or mad. how will they learn that admitting mistakes is right if i dont show. we currently await our first baby and ieally we want to have at least two, but i had such a hard time already in the pregnancy and i cannot imagine how to juggle it all with a newborn or toddler in addition and what do we do i dont know :D. we will see. and how... how yo you know you are on a good way? while it is all progress you dont know the outcome yet so hoooow do you know :D i love what you do! and love your personality a LOT i mean... A LOT. we are in a kind very similar and very different at the same time but i rarely comment on anything but i mean it. You help a lot and a really hope i can be as ... well glowing and loving as you are one day. With depression it feels like everyone around you moves but you move in slow mo... so i see people around me and think i am SO SLOW and my daily successes is nothing compared to someone elses. I cleaned the house today, wohooo. and i mean flat. not like a two storey building thing.
@auzangelful3 жыл бұрын
I was the same as you with hearing everything. I have 3 adult sons now but when they were children I heard EVERYTHING, so I can relate to that.
@annieo.23143 жыл бұрын
Your amazing girl !!! So is your family!!! You do what you need to do for you family and what works for yall !!!!
@mrs_maverick11213 жыл бұрын
I do most of the same things you do! I get criticized a lot for my parenting or ‘lack of’ as most people call it… but I have a son on the spectrum, and to me this is the best way to patent him, I also have a 12 year old daughter with a rare medical condition, she has been my easy child from day one! I’ve never needed to punish her because she’s never really done anything wrong!
@NotUnique_3 жыл бұрын
I love your gentle parenting technique honestly
@keelieb3433 жыл бұрын
Thank you Jess for always being so consistent with uploads! I looks forward to your videos so much!!!
@barbaralawrence-rodriguez29813 жыл бұрын
I love you're gentle parenting. 💕You are very intelligent. I wish I had these steps when I was 17, and then 24...two kids. Peace.
@cguyre2 жыл бұрын
As a foster to adopt parent who loves my 2 kids (my 2 former placements) more than life itself, it would have been so comforting to me if the judge made the birth parent put in that much effort and they actually did it because it would reassure me that they will do whatever it takes for their child and that they prioritize their child. In my case reunification happened after the birth parent barely was asked to do anything and he still didn’t follow all the judges orders. It makes me really scared for the well-being of my kids. While they are legally not mine they are mine in my heart and I still miss them and worry every day. In your case this is how it’s supposed to work.
@jasminylitalo87712 жыл бұрын
a good thing to remember is a quote that goes something like this: "if you're worried about whether or not you're not a good person, chances are you are a good person; bad people don't worry about if they're good or not." same thing goes for parenting, if you're worried about if you're good enough or not, chances are, you're already a good parent.
@peggylowery80623 жыл бұрын
Awesome video. Very educational. You're such an inspiration. Love you girl ❤️🙏
@selinakoch73423 жыл бұрын
Close to the end of this video I wanted to give it a thumbs up, then I realized I already did. So, many thumbs up from me😊 thank you for this! It definitlely is helpful and inspiring to me!
@liymaf3 жыл бұрын
AMEN! I got Irish twins that are 10 months apart and my youngest will be 10 months in 5 days..😩 I appreciate this video! Thanks for sharing!😊
@amandasymanitz41412 жыл бұрын
I love this is help me be a better step momma bc I’m new to this I’ve only been a step momma for a year in a half so thank you so much Jess 🤟🏼❤️😘
@robertchinnock80173 жыл бұрын
Hey jess.. love watching your blogs.. from Australia
@jaidengames263 жыл бұрын
Also I admire your commitment to your children. So I applaud you a lot.
@dazzlingextremes3893 жыл бұрын
I always find it so sad that adults want comfort through a trauma but INSIST kids just learn to go it alone.... you're so right. Just yall HUSH we mommas KNOW our babies! And unless you're the one being woke in the night, its no loss to you how another mom or dad parents their children!
@Idontcareaboutanickn3 жыл бұрын
Love this video. So different from your normal content (not hating on your regular content, but I've been following for a while now and this feels like a breeze of fresh air!).
@tesshowdieshell65533 жыл бұрын
As someone who had a lot of anger problems as a kid, I love how you talk with your kids about their anger. My mom used to talk with me about “the little monsters” inside me when I was young and it helped me understand my anger a lot more.
@meag_ken8223 жыл бұрын
Thank you I really needed this my son is only four months but I had a tough childhood so I perseverate and obsess on how I’m going to raise my son without damaging him like you have taught me I just want to give him a child he does not have to recover from so thank you
@glendajune91403 жыл бұрын
Great conversation Jess, I’m sure many will be blessed by your experiences.💯❤️👍🏾🙋🏽♀️✝️🙏🏾🇺🇸
@joannaluft5853 жыл бұрын
Great video . If I have kids I definitely want to use this style . I think my parents did gentle parenting and I’m grateful for it . My punishments were a lecture from my dad with was way worse than anything else lol .
@melissajohnson33083 жыл бұрын
The best advice I ever got from my pediatrician was if the baby is fed , changed, not sick and just won’t stop crying after a reasonable attempt at soothing them there is nothing wrong with occasionally allowing them to cry!She said babies get stressed ,too! Sometimes you just need to put them in their crib and go take a shower , give yourself a few to breath and calm down! No baby ever died from crying! Her giving me that permission to be frustrated and taking a minute for myself was really the BEST advice! I’m glad to say I’ve raised 4 incredible people,whom I’m so proud of!!!!!And I also am in recovery, been in prison and had to put my life together because my kids were living with family!!!I totally empathize with Jessica’s story💗💗💗💗
@aleksandralempart83053 жыл бұрын
Cry it out causes brain damage
@melissajohnson33083 жыл бұрын
@@aleksandralempart8305 I wasn’t referring to the cry it out way of caring for infants I was talking about the occasional need for overstimulated infants and a stressed out mom knowing that they can take 10 minutes for themselves to reset, and allowing an inconsolable baby to cry,when ALL reasonable attempts to soothe fail! The key word being occasional!!!! Letting infants regularly cry it out causes emotional problems and can’t be great for bonding!!! I don’t know about brain damage never heard that but anyway moms need to know it’s OK to not be superhuman and stepping away from a screaming baby for a few minutes is perfectly OK…and even necessary to maintain your sanity! Way to much pressure is put on moms to be super hero’s and that pressure is so unrealistic and emotionally damaging to moms and can be potentially dangerous for babies!!!!
@laura_josepha3 жыл бұрын
if all parents would adopt this parenting style, we'd have a lot less trauma and crime in this world.
@justhereforthevideos27983 жыл бұрын
I remember before I had kids and I was the perfect parent 😅 u learn so much by being one🥴 but 3 kids in I know you're 100% right.....EVERY kid is different. They're born with some inherent personality so they're all different all present their own challenges we have to sort through as parents lol hardest God damn job in the world man. But it's so rewarding to see your little people do well, be good people, and grow into their own people ❤
@rebachick943 жыл бұрын
Definitely agree with this. My siblings were over and they were yelling and driving me crazy. As much as I wanted to yell, I was just like y’all please tone it down… I also know that my mom yells and I don’t want to yell at them like she does.
@clarissajanes69503 жыл бұрын
I often tell my kids one second on getting attention, but then I make sure to reconnect and let them have their time once I quickly wrap up what I'm doing
@loco73573 жыл бұрын
You made so many great points in this video- I’m going to keep it in my library to rewatch when needed. I say this because as a single mom in recovery, I doubt myself. ALOT. During my active addiction I was a shitty mom. I was. I loved my son no less than I do in recovery, but I had a selfish attitude that comes along with using (for me). Now, in recovery, I am able to see clearly and put my boy first at all times (99%- I’m not perfect and never will be). Throughout this video I kept catching myself saying “that’s right” “exactly” or “right!” So many times as if you could hear me lol. I appreciate your outlook- our kids have feelings and those feelings are just as valid as ours are! I’m probably rambling, but thank you for this video! And I agree- “if you’re worried if you’re a good parent, chances are you’re already there”- it’s when a parent isn’t thinking about whether they are doing all this right that there’s probably an issue. Because in my opinion, if we care about something, we think about it, right? Thanks again. ♥️
@stephanieoregan3 жыл бұрын
I don't have kids but if I did I would do gentle parenting, sounds to me like you are raising 2 amazing humans ❤ be very proud of how far you've come, Jessica 👏👏👏💪💪💪
@mamashell23403 жыл бұрын
We have been trying this more and more as our kids have gotten older. The last few years more strongly since our youngest was diagnosed with autism. We learned how to parent him the way best for him and it has made us better parents for all our kids. Though like you said I'm not always great at it.
@athenaamethyst83853 жыл бұрын
Transitioning from one kid to two is the hardest thing I've ever done (including my postpartum depression). I have a 3.5 year old and an 11 month old and you're so right that two kids is SO much and in some ways so much harder than one. Also, gentle parenting has helped me heal so much of my own trauma...but it is also so difficult to unlearn the shit I was taught and shown growing up. And it's so worth it.
@kristanricketts3 жыл бұрын
My go to was "momma needs a time out". My SN child grew up thinking adults need timeouts (he's never seen a kid do one like). It's funny now that he's a bit older, he's still mentally delayed but further than he was .. if we are being rude/stressed/mad.. he'll give a hug and tell us to go to our room in his signs. And then he gives more snuggles after. He's super chill. Besides having extra needs, he's easier than my siblings well behaved children.