Parenting Q&A | Part I | Doug and Nancy Wilson

Q&A session for Doug Wilson's sermon "Why Children Matter"
Doug and Nancy Wilson answer questions at Monday's Q&A session
Christ Church -- Moscow, ID
Q&A for Sermon #1748 -- A.D. Nov. 3
Text: Ephesians 5:1; Zeph. 3:17
Questions from Q&A:
0:50 - Is there ever a good time to ask your child: "How do you think that makes me feel?"
1:53 - Is there ever a time to ask: "How do you think that makes her (your mom) feel?"
5:30 - Can a parent ever ask the question "How do you think that makes me or her feel?" effectively?
6:49 - Is there a way to use scripture effectively without embittering your children towards it?
8:16 -- Is there a way to use scripture effectively without embittering your children towards it?
8:37 -- How do you consistently discipline your child and at the same time show them liberty and freedom?
11:48 -- How do you become a house of "Yes" without spoiling your children?
17:38 -- Can using scripture to teach and admonish your children become abused or done wrongly?
24:10 -- Can you talk about the steps you took to not take things personally when your children disobey?
27:03 -- What steps did you take to both be on the same page when it came to disciplining your children?
32:13 -- What should doing devotions as a young married couple look like? Doing devotions with your children?
36:14 -- How involved should you be in your child's private devotions?
41:28 -- How do you prioritize sins/issues to deal with when dad gets home?
46:40 -- How does mom not be the dump truck when dad gets home?
48:35 -- How do you apologize to your kids? Any thoughts on television for your kids?
54:45 -- Is there a time and a place to not discipline your kids?
57:17 -- What if your kids know what they did wrong and explained why they needed a spanking, but asked, "Can we not talk about it afterwards?"

[@MTNMT265]

Thank you for this! A great reminder to discipline sinful attitudes and emotions.

[@lavieenrose5954]

You sound like wonderful parents Mr and Mrs Wilson, and I’m sure your kids are well grounded in the faith and equally as lovely as you both. God bless you and your family 🙏🏽

[@ArcherWarhound]

8:37 Children are incredible pattern recognition engines, and for that reason I think the second part of this answer is more important than the first. My wife and I barely babyproofed in any of our houses (as we moved locations over time) with any of our 5 kids because it doesn't take that much time and energy working with the kid before it learns the categories behind the specific commandments of "No." and then it can apply those categories in other situations outside your own home. People who babyproof their homes can't take their kids anywhere because the kid's natural curiosity makes it a complete terror in the home of people who haven't babyproofed. Conversely, a kid that has been taught not to mess with certain categories of objects at home will often apply those categorical prohibitions to objects in other people's homes without any prompting, or at most may momentarily (and understandably) question if the same categories apply in a new environment, but once reassured the rules apply across environments, they will contentedly refrain wrecking other people's homes.

[@CamilaGomes-hb8xg]

Here at home I baby proof as it's actually the natural ambience for us. My house is very minimal and I use shelves for most of things. And my kids don't fuss in others peoples's houses as they are used to a certain type of plays or toys... I think it's more how a parent see the house than the way the kid learn it. Some parents just don't have the patience. Others have the patience but are busy... and so on

[@rafaeldisterhoft7599]

I relisten to this. Thank you for sharing you wisdom!!

[@user-oy1zu5lk7v]

That is genius on the it’s time to go thing. Implementing it asap. And the thanking mom for dinner and I’m not even gonna tell her about it lol

[@jr_richard9242]

This is Amazing 👍 resource... Thank you Doug.

[@buildakicker]

I wish the questions were asked out loud. I cannot watch and listen, I can just listen sometimes.

[@joycekristiyanophilippines8797]

Thank you! Learning from Pilipinas

[@jonathansimmons9377]

This is so good! Thank you both for this practical help!

[@Zwedgy]

Still a brilliant video 7 years later! Correctly formatting the timestamp in the description would be nice though.

[@chirhodoulos3222]

Very first question, Brother, wjat you did not point out is that We are examples to Our Children for YHWH. Peasing GOD Is of the uttmost importance; when tied ro this, as i tie all lessons to The MASTER, it is affective -using HIS Word while accenting HIS Person, Attributes, Commands, and Work never returns void. Glory to GOD

[@RighteousByFaith777]

I am pumped from this! Great insight. Will watch again with my wife....and my 8 month old

[@asiaswartzentruber9573]

Anyone who is only focusing on *that* story has obviously either not watched the whole thing to understand the context of love and affection and permission in which it took place. Or they are blandly rejecting the context - and are also rejecting the present day testimony of the kids looking back on these memories with fondness. No one should try to gaslight anyone into thinking the “victim’s” perspective is less perfect than a stranger’s on the internet. My parents spanked me. And we even had a phrase “die in the desert” (in reference to the children of Israel not entering the promise land for 40 years) if we complained. These memories are happy to me. They are funny. They are playful. And they were effective.

[@mr.orange5258]

You need to be deprogrammed. My father spanked me as a child, and it accomplished nothing but alienating him from me. I never spanked my daughter, and she is far better adjusted to life than I ever was. I am extremely proud of her.

[@Tagavka]

Thank God and you guys for this!

[@juliequates9529]

Is this available on the Canon plus app? Thanks!

[@lovecounting3021]

I’m in a discussion with some friends who are stuck on the story at 15:00 about spanking your child for showing disappointment when you arrived to pick her up. Could you elaborate a little more on the role of Corporal punishment as it relates to genuine disappointment from a young child?

[@toekn1fe]

Study after study shows how ineffective corporal punishment is. Positive reinforcement works better. What Nancy did was see her child go through perfectly normal emotions, and beat her anyway. It’s perfectly normal for your kid to want to keep playing… they’re kids. It’s not normal for you to demand her to be excited to see you and beat her when she isn’t. She cackles about it like she thinks it’s funny, but she’s actually showing she’s a covert narcissist.

[@whispergirl20]

Hi. Spanking, hitting, or anything else physical is abuse. You can talk to children they understand more than you think. I was hit once and my dad said how did you feel about that. I said I want to hit you back. He thought wow maybe this isn’t the best way to discipline. It’s making my child violent towards me. I have held a job since I was 15. I own a house. I have a daughter who is 7. I have never hit her. She is an angel. When she does something she shouldn’t we talk about it. She usually won’t do it again because we talked about it. If she does she loses privileges. Easy as that. If you can’t do it or aren’t willing to work for that kind of relationship you probably shouldn’t have had children. Thanks for listening. Hope that helped. Don’t get advice from these people. Who freaking hits a kid for not being excited to see you? These people are wild and this is why American is f*cked.

[@Cinnamonbuns13]

@@toekn1fe "study after study" no they don't you dunce.

[@aaronsellers2396]

The daughter she spanked is a grown woman now who loves Nancy and is doing pretty well. I'd sooner take Nancy's advice than these spiteful anti-spanking mutants on here.

[@goyonman9655]

​@@toekn1fe Bullshit The researchers just readjust the definition of a positive outcome. A lack of positive outcome has created a disaster of mentally ill people in the west corporal punishment WORKS

[@KeesterStrength]

Thanks to all the clowns who made this resurface in the algorithms. Great stuff Pastor Wilson

[@RobotMowerTricks]

How can we find the sermon?

[@TheCototheCo]

kzbin.info/aero/PL3hlk1e8ejwHSoj2uEJgvbtqNeSEokc1_

[@mrs.heathergrafe4330]

Thank Dad for dinner when he cooks?😊

[@No_auto_toon]

If the stuffed animal has to go with them on the trip…

[@thaisdegoes9370]

I have a kid whose tank we never seem to be able to fill. She gets as much attention as the other three kids combined and still does attention getting behaviors. I don’t know how to help her. I don’t have more of myself to give.

[@abigailtalbott4768]

Could it be possible that her attention seeking behavior is sin? For example, attention seeking behavior can be motivated by selfishness, or even emotional manipulation. I'm not saying that is definitely what is going on in your case.

[@thaisdegoes9370]

@@abigailtalbott4768 I would love more ideas. This sounds very plausible. I’m just not sure how to identify when her desire for attention and connection is valid or not. She’s an insecure child and I’m sure we have contributed year over year to this. I want to rebuild trust and set healthy boundaries.

[@abigailtalbott4768]

@@thaisdegoes9370 Praying for you! Parenting is so hard sometimes. God grant you discernment and patience.

[@bellboy4074]

She beat a toddler for not showing enough happiness to see her but tell me how great this is.

[@wendytrager4605]

disgusting

[@Cinnamonbuns13]

Disciplining for attitude is literally what you discipline for.

[@ryanlak1234]

@@Cinnamonbuns13 Ah yes, spanking your child will make them much happier to see you.

[@Cinnamonbuns13]

@@ryanlak1234 How your children feel about you happens between the spankings. The spankings correct the deficiency.

[@coreyhyers3451]

Evidently some people conflate discipline and punishment. There is a difference and you might want to look into it....

[@lumii146]

spanking because the child is not happy to see you? Sounds abusive. Hurting children wouldn't be gods plan right?

[@toekn1fe]

Yeah these people are just narcissists.

[@Cinnamonbuns13]

God spanked his children pretty seriously. 😂

[@quinnpeterson2716]

Lol how embarrassing. Just look at this culture and how children, teens and young adults are behaving…and then look at her children- all successful, independent, loving and kind followers of Christ that praise their mom for her affection and sacrifice. Doesn’t really sound like the result of child abuse does it? I ended up a self righteous drug addict because my parents, although loving, failed to discipline me. Same for most of my friends. If you think a swat on the rump is worse than becoming self righteous and undisciplined I feel bad for your offspring.

[@z.s.r.h]

did you listen to the whole thing? these parents are obviously kind and love their kids. they expect certain things and reinforce them and it's certainly better than letting your kids get away with whatever they want.

[@lumii146]

@@quinnpeterson2716 Discipline is important, yes. But I think there are better ways to correct bad behavior apart from violence..

[@maggiekaykay1]

Spanking a 3 year old because they didn’t scream HI MOM! Is insane. I pick my 4 year old up from preschool in the afternoons and almost always he sees me and says just a little longer mom? He has so much fun and always wants to stay and sometimes even says nooooooo I want to stay! I can’t imagine spanking him and demanding that he act more excited to see me. That is wild

[@IasonIsrael]

This is a really good parenting video. But please don't ever quote a verse like, "Depart from Me, you workers of iniquity," or, "Be sure your sin will find you out," while chuckling. You couldn't, not after reading The Justice of God in the Damnation of Sinners by Edwards or The Parable of the Ten Virgins by Shepard. God's threats may not be spoken of in a light way.

[@CamilaGomes-hb8xg]

I think he was laughing because for a kid it seems like pirates talk,lolol I laughed as well. You don't curse your children, you bless them. That's what he meant, I believe