Part 2: Alex Katehakis on Love Addiction (expert interview from "Love Addict")

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Go to Part 1: Alex Katehakis interview: • Part 1: Alex Katehakis...
Director Pernille Rose Grønkjær interviewed several experts about Love Addiction before beginning work on her acclaimed film "Love Addict." This is the second part of one interview about love addiction that she filmed and edited featuring Alexandra Katehakis, founder and clinical director of Center for Healthy Sex, and author of "Erotic Intelligence."
"Pernille Rose Grønkjær gives us a gorgeous and poignant look into the lonely world of love addiction in her stunning, masterful film, ´Love Addict.´ This sobering and unglamorous account is the first of it´s kind at a time when this problem is more widespread than ever." -- Alexandra Katehakis

[@mirelleinisrael]

Spot on. So glad I found this. Let the healing begin. Thank you.

[@anthonyiacobucci3652]

I feel perhaps that there is one missing piece here. At 6:40 you discuss that a person seeks out being treated badly because they are re-running the patterns in the brain. I agree with this but I would like to take it a step further. Robert Firestone talks about the false self, which is a self-hating self that keeps the true self suppressed because the true self is full of shame and pain. By receiving real love it threatens the false self because the false self must remain hating of the real self. So when someone is nice to us or loves us this self-hating primary defense is threatened. It must remain in tact or the primary pain underneath may surface. Low self-esteem is actually a primary defense against infantile pain. This of course goes back to the infants survival mechanism where it cannot accept that mom is bad or doesn't love it so it must blame the self. So all of this threatens the primary defense against being unloved as an infant and small child. This is too painful. So by accepting someone nice and loving, we are threatening our self hate mechanism, which is a primary defense against infantile pain. We reject being treated too well because it touches on our real self, that is full of pain.

[@newroadscounseling4142]

These are great videos - You do such a wonderful job explaining things in a clear way for anyone to understand.

[@suzannedewitt1333]

Wow. So eloquent and dead on. I'm glad this has been researched and looked into and treatments are now available. I wonder how many lives (both alive-lives and those who will escape deat -lives) this will save? I, for one, am grateful for this information being available.

[@jsingh108]

Wow. Excellent info. I just realized how I have been a love addict....me and 90% of the Latino population 😂😂😂

[@Chillingcomfy]

Spot on! Thank you so much.

[@gturcott1]

Wow this lady really gets it!!

[@Pattie-o7f]

I was in a relationshit with an avoidant, emotionally unavailable man possibly a narcissist. It was very difficult for me wanting more closeness as I'm an anxious attachment type.

[@carrie2518]

It's awful. I love my bf, but I can't stop seeking out new relationships. I feel sick and awful about it.

[@CenterForHealthySex]

Hi Carrie, if you want to talk more about this, please feel free to give one of our intake counselors a call and we can try and work this out for you. 310 843 9902. Best of luck to you!

[@ignacionr]

Perfectly put.

[@erinussery7061]

I’m crying because this is me ...

[@francescaromanagarroni6524]

Very accurate! Thank you!

[@Angelheaven]

If your one your an expert. Its a journey, never fixed.

[@vixter28]

I’m a sex and love addict Yup that’s me. I always love the bad boys and they’re always emotionally unavailable and have addictions. ! So when someone healthy comes along, I don’t feel attracted to them 😢 it’s so exciting to have someone that’s bad and not emotionally available because I’m probably not either Then I never get my needs met 😢 Then I feel used

[@RosannBeautyHacks]

I'm a love addict and I can't leave despite the terrible abuse. it feels like no matter what he does he's still perfect in my eyes. he can abuse me now and right after I'm normal in love wit him.

[@CenterForHealthySex]

Hello Rosann, if you would like any help finding resources/referrals near you please don't hesitate to call our intake line at [phone]. We hope you have a great Thanksgiving holiday.

[@gwenjohn8673]

He threw stuff at me called me a bitch andI'm still obsessed

[@monicagries5004]

Can a single person be both a love addict and love avoidant at different times in the same relationship?

[@CenterForHealthySex]

That's a great question Monica! Yes they actually can, Alex had a similar question like that in her Childhood Mirror of Intimacy Webinar. If you wanted to get a more in detail answer to your question please feel free to talk with one of our compassionate intake counselors at [phone]. They'd be happy to help.