Pastors & Power: How to Avoid Unhealthy Leadership - Diane Langberg - 13 FrontStage BackStage

Most pastors do not enter the ministry with the intention of misusing their power and authority, and yet instances of abuse occur. In this week's conversation on FrontStage BackStage, host Jason Daye is joined by internationally recognized psychologist and counselor, Dr. Diane Langberg, as they discuss some of the unrecognized trappings of power and how to develop a healthy understanding of ministry leadership.
Dig deeper into this conversation: Find the free Weekly Toolkit, including the Ministry Leaders Growth Guide, all resource links, and more at PastorServe.org/network
Some key takeaways from this conversation:
Diane Langberg on why some pastors work harder at protecting the institution of Church rather than the people of the local church: “Part of what happens, and has certainly happened in the American church, is that we see ourselves as serving the system, rather than children who are called to obedience to Jesus Christ.”
Diane Langberg on a key component pastors need in their lives to help maintain healthy leadership: “I would encourage all those in leadership to have people in their lives with whom they can speak the truth, and who will say it back to them. And a place where they can be safe…. In terms of understanding ourselves, we need other voices to help us do that.”
Diane Langberg on the danger of pastors misusing their God-given authority: “Yes, we're created in the image of God and therefore have power and authority in this world and with others, but it must look like him. It isn't there to feed our goals, our higher numbers, our fame, all of those things, which is where it gets very messed up. Because we use the power that has been God-given not to bear his image and look like him, but to gain for ourselves.”
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Looking to dig more deeply into this topic and conversation? FrontStage BackStage is much more than another church leadership show, it is a complete resource to help you and your ministry leaders grow. Every week we go the extra mile and create a free toolkit so you and your ministry team can dive deeper into the topic that is discussed.
Visit PastorServe.org/network to find the entire Weekly Toolkit, including the Ministry Leaders Growth Guide (Our team pulls key insights and quotes from every conversation with our amazing guests. We also create engaging questions for you and your team to consider and process, providing space for you to reflect on how that episode's topic relates to your unique church context. Use these questions in your regular staff meetings, or other settings, to guide your conversation as you invest in the growth of your ministry leaders.)
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[@lonefaolan6042]

Never put any pastor on a pedestal. They are not God.

[@laraderksen4297]

In order for a pastor to receive care from the church when they need it, they would have to be humble enough to acknowledge their need and receive care. Many pastors I’ve rubbed shoulders with can’t or won’t do this- even when their insecurity and woundedness is plain to the “sheep” around them.

[@susandumbill8805]

💔 After nearly 40 years in the House Church, Pentecostal & Charismatic type churches in the UK I know what it is to be bullied & controlled by some leaders, who have over-extended their authority into too many areas of the lives of congregants, & been abusive. I believe 'heavy shepherding' is still happening here. However I agree that many pastors, elders etc do not go into ministry with this intention. It's something which creeps in gradually. Having so much influence, significant power over others, plus being up front, the focus of attention etc IS definitely addictive, & can turn a pastor into a predator, even a dictator. It's very easy to slip into threatening congregants that they are in rebellion against God if they do not submit to & obey you. It's also very easy to believe that the end justifies the means 🚨 💥 I believe it really needs to be emphatically stated too that outright abuse of power really does damage people, some of whom have had to remove themselves from church in order to survive. No one wants to go tell their doctor they're feeling depressed & suicidal because they've been abused by a pastor. How do you think that sounds to a GP or a Psychiatrist?! Do you want people to go missing from your church for weeks due to being hospitalized because of the effects of your abuse? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?! 💥 ♥️ I'd also suggest that pastors, elders etc who do this are damaged themselves & really need to become self aware & get help. And there IS help available. Ellel Ministries in the UK, for example, provides support for struggling pastors & there are retreats & discreet places pastors can go to for help or recharge. More mature congregants don't mind if you want to talk about a problem, if you're struggling. In fact it helps them feel you're 'human' & more approachable. They're happy to listen, to support YOU TOO. You should have adequate time off, holidays away, friends, all the help you need. No one has the right to expect you to be perfect, but they do expect you to be reasonable & to try to do the right thing ♥️ 📢 Please remember, if you want to be in this kind of position you have a solemn duty & responsibility before God & others NOT to damage those in your care. You're supposed to protect the flock from the wolves, NOT become one. Please - stop what you're doing. Get help. If you can't then it's time to step aside & let someone else take over ⚠️⛔

[@geraldpolmateer3255]

One will not be able to make disciples and raise up leaders if they are not transparent and humble enough to own their weaknesses. Excellent leaders are surrounded by others who hold them accountable. They realize it is for their own good.

[@PastorServe]

Gerald, yes, that is the great challenge. Are leaders willing to be authentically humble and own their weaknesses? Do they believe in the leaders around them and take onboard the sincere feedback they are providing to them? Great insight here: "Excellent leaders are surrounded by others who hold them accountable. They realize it is for their own good."

[@thomasparrish429]

Well said.

[@Saint.questions]

THANK GOD FOR THIS LIVE!!

[@PastorServe]

Glad you found this episode meaningful. Blessings!

[@prchdaword]

It seems that abusive pastors actually never learn to apply the gospel to their own lives and their own suffering and seek to make their own "gospel" by making sacrifices of those who are under their care as offerings of atonement to their own hearts and wounds. =(

[@PastorServe]

A sad reality, unfortunately, in many cases. This is one of the reasons we are committed to working with pastors, to help them overcome some of their own brokenness. God can work through us if we are willing to allow him to work in us. Blessings!

[@glamgalnorth6320]

They should be confronted every time they abuse their flock.

[@christinefernandez559]

I just stopped going to organized church for the first time in my life, because of unrepentant spiritual and verbal abuse from my pastor. I am a widow. Somehow, I am now evil to most of whom I thought were my brothers and sisters in Christ, I thought we agape loved each other. I was not the only one abused over all these years, the "pastor" has a blood trail quite far behind him. The rejection and abuse culture is almost worse than the abuse itself. THIS IS NOT CHURCH. I no longer want to participate in the audience of performances from the pulpit. "The theif comes to steal, kill, and destroy." These so called pastor's, and their precious puppet leadership team, are the thieves that The Good Shepherd was referring to in this verse in John 10. We don't have a clue what a scriptural gathering of God's people really is in the western world. Right now my 5 children and I gather with a couple dozen of compassionate believers who also left that so called "church". Those that left were either abused themselves, recognized our trial as true, or saw the claws and fangs of the wolf, ever so cleverly disguised as a sheep, pretending to be a child of God. The blasphemy in the pulpits and church leadership. Puts a whole meaning on "Thou shalt not use the name of the LORD your God in vain." We are a mess, and we are deeply loved by the LORD, while disdained by this world. Who knew that that being spotted by the world is so prevalent inside the 4 walls we call "church". James 1:26-27 #letGodbetrue

[@StandUp777]

I get it. I'm right there with you. God bless you and your group.

[@christinefernandez559]

@@StandUp777 Thank you for your compassion. 1 Thessalonians 3:12

[@StandUp777]

@@christinefernandez559 you are most welcome. God loves you so much!

[@christinefernandez559]

@@StandUp777 Oh, how He loves us!

[@StandUp777]

There are several gifts Paul spoke of: Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, and Teachers. Where is Pastor? And why is the "pastor" the most prominent and treated as the most important? Where does scripture teach or model this? Where does it teach that one person has authority over a group of people? Pastor gets a salary plus offerings, benefits, cars, homes, etc. Where does scripture teach that? It doesn't. THAT is the root of the problem. Organized religion and a booming business that has zero to do with the true church. Just read Acts. Bad root, bad fruit.

[@markcancia2580]

Mark Cancia, The Salvation Army

[@PastorServe]

Blessings, Mark! Praying for you and The Salvation Army

[@CheerfulGarden-wf1ff]

Pastors are just human being, they need not to act as if they are superpower. They have no power at all outside God. I don't know if they are really called by God. All saved Christians are called by God for His purpose and glory. If the pastors are special why does in the book of Jeremiah called pastors as brutish?

[@Medietos]

Thank you for good talk together. What is teh limit for not good pastorship? I have been suffering from not getting engaged talks for 40 years, priests haven't dedicated themselves more than just during the talk,, not got to know me, not gone deeper where change and growth can happen. OK, normal ones can manage themeselves, but not when in dire need in harsher situations. But maybe it is I who am wrong in this respect? They themselves certainly have said they don't have to do anything further from some esae in the moment, support more superficially without engagement.MAybe itäs me needing sth outside their scope/task. And it should be the (Swed.) Diacon/helper (Idk the term of profession in English), since only they can interact with society..

[@haystackhomeschool]

Love the advice to have counselors from another denomination. Otherwise you are just working out of an echo chamber.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

I have friends we met that were pastors probably surprised and confused too. I know they made jokes cause it was so ridiculous

[@CheerfulGarden-wf1ff]

More pastors are already controlled by the devil because of their greediness for filthy lucre. They want easy money that's why they too are no longer open to advices from other pastors. Their assistants are younger so tbat tbey could be easily manipulated and dismissed if they commit mistakes.

[@antoneegoldingham3563]

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