Patching You Up ❤️ [ASMR]

[@ren8182]

From someone who used to cut, and someone who still after years has to resist the urge, and someone who's never had anyone to help him, thank you. I wish I had someone as wonderful as you to help me.

[@connorhammond4193]

Rob S yeah I understand that and I’m still struggling with that urge it really is nice to know people care and it’s not all talk, if that’s a KZbinr or a friend thy always can help

[@irontom1052]

Dude gota spare meth

[@jaidyn259]

I'm about a year clean now and I still think about hoarding my pills whenever I get the chance or destroying kitchen appliances. I swear it's honestly harder now than it was then bc I feel guilty. Even if I do selfharm I don't get the satisfaction bc of antiopioids. I only enjoy the thought bc I feel like I deserve the pain and the mutilation. Though you random people here in the comments inspire me everyday to stay clean. Idk how y'all do it but fr

[@ren8182]

@Jaidyn, I don't really know how either. I never had anyone to help. I just focused on one day. Stopped thinking about next month, or next year, because any long period of time seemed impossible to overcome. But one day? I could do one day. Then the next day I'd do it again, because it's just one more day. I just did one day, I can do another. One day, one day, one day., and eventually it became a lot of days. And every day you survive, every day that you hurt and you struggle, you get a fraction stronger. A tiny amount, impossible to notice sometimes, but when enough days add up, eventually you realize you've become stronger. Or maybe just more numb. Those feelings never go away. I have a set of kitchen knives. One of them doesn't belong. It's significantly sharper than the others, but I don' use it for anything. But I can't get rid of it, even if I dont use it anymore. I should, but I can't. Sometimes on the bad days I can still feel it in my hand, like people who are missing limbs can feel the phantom sensations. But I don't use it. The more you cut, the more you desensitize yourself to cutting, until eventually one day you realize taking that last final cut isn't all that difficult anymore. So you can't keep doing it, even if the pain helps. It's a crutch and eventually you have to let it go. Please don't hurt yourself though. If you need to talk, talk. I'll listen. Talking, listening, it all helps. It helps when you can connect to someone who understands. And some of us understand very well. But please don't hurt yourself. The world needs more people like you, not less, regardless of what you may think about yourself. What makes you broken, makes you beautiful to someone like me, because people like you make me feel less alone. You shine like starlight when the world is all darkness, and when everything is dark it's the tiny little lights around you that help you find a way to climb back out of that hole. Sorry for rambling though.

[@tracie2741]

Be proud of yourself every day you don't hurt yourself. You will find someone one day. They will be lucky to have someone as brave as you, you all deserve happiness.

[@matthewcronin1415]

Because so, SO many people attempting to do ASMR for this get this so wrong, I want to point out the things that make this excellent: 1-She doesn't cry or otherwise panic. People with depression / engaging in SH are very likely to be overly sensitive to how they affect others and while that's a common reaction it's absolutely not helpful in deescalating. 2-Comforting without demanding. She reassures that she's there but still asks permission. Doesn't make demands or give orders. 3-She makes...well not quite jokes, but comments intended to evoke a smile or similar reaction that aren't focused on either person. This is super helpful in getting the person to step outside of themselves without feeling like a demand. 4-She gives the listener space to think and feel responses. I've suffered from depression and intermittent bouts of self-harm for nearly all my life, and I've had friends and SOs who've handled it with grace and others who've been spectacularly unhelpful, and sadly most other KZbinrs I've been able to find making related videos fall into the latter category. She's either done her homework or has enough real life experience to know what she's doing. Or both, I suppose. From someone very far from home or any support, thank you for this.

[@bacet9280]

So you wrote this whole comment, wow that's the level of motovation I want

[@iannroberts]

I couldn't have said it better myself!

[@jimmymcquid]

How sad is it that I can rely more on a KZbinr to make me feel better than people I actually know

[@uhis1686]

jimmymcquid you're not the only one, I don't have anyone in real life that I can talk to. The closest thing to a friend I have is someone i met online.

[@snjtch]

jimmymcquid sad but so many other people go trough that like myself only people I have is three people on discord one is always on don’t not disturb so I don’t not get to talk to them second one doesn’t talk to me and the last one is getting in a normal sleep schedule I have a backwards sleep schedule

[@rainylibrarian3887]

UHIS if this ain’t me

[@Tallmedicbro]

Zlickッ add me

[@nothere3950]

jimmymcquid I feel ya.

[@TheAgent41]

I remember the day I accidentally let slip to my mother that I spend most of my time wanting to die. Rather than hug me and comfort me, her response was to get angry and personally offended. She was bewildered by the fact that I would want to die even when we do fun things like go to Disney World or go out to dinner and she interpreted that as me being ungrateful. She told me that suicidal people are selfish, egotistical, uncaring people who ruthlessly tear themselves out of the lives of their loved ones while only caring about themselves. I was blown away to be hearing this from a parent who claims to suffer from bad depression. That was the day I found out that I can't trust my mother with this kind of stuff and I can't confide my feelings about my depression with her. I don't even know you personally, but thank you for being more reassuring and comforting than any of my blood relatives.

[@apictureoffunction]

Your mom sounds selfish honestly

[@ironic7583]

This Is really relatable my mother is just as stubborn and because of that I never really opened up about my the intensity of my illness. It bewilder's me that people can think that just because you have lots of money or are doing fun things that you cant still feel depressed and I heavily empathize with you.

[@irontom1052]

got meth need milk i can help

[@cooldude-lc9ih]

While I cannot relate completely (Depression not gotten physical) I can relate to the fact of relatives completely sucking, my mother has done many things which cause me to not trust her, so many in fact that it has become normalized. Life is tough and I hope you get through the rough patches. Stay strong my friends.

[@CookedCharcoal]

Kinda sounds like my mom, when she got angry at me for not looking happy or being talkative, so I told her that I have not felt happy for as long as I remember. She becomes offended even after I said it's got nothing to do about her or the family. Ends with me saying "what do you want from me? To pretend being happy?" She says yes I should fake myself so the family does not get affected by my so called bad mood, I just did not want to talk or fake smile all the time but I guess that's not ok.

[@bens7686]

I can't express how opposite this is from being treated like a prison inmate in a 8,000$, cold, dehumanizing US psych ward.

[@Celtic_Cheesepuffs]

No kidding, man. No. Kidding.

[@Coffeeismylifeblood]

You’re sad? Insane!

[@caingamin2]

Ah another reason not to go get help lol, i was looking into that and went "wtf?"

[@robithmcbobith8915]

As someone who’s been baker acted twice it’s not a good time

[@miguelservetus9534]

Only someone who has never provided care to someone who suffers from severe schizophrenia or other serious mental illness would make such a foolhardy statement. A simplistic statement about a real critical issue may get up votes but actually hurts those in need. Become a nurse or therapist and learn about a complex nuanced illness.

[@xxsnozberrysxx5025]

Her: "fresh?" Me: "....never frozen"

[@MemeLord-zd1ie]

Kek

[@Triggerhappy4480]

brandton keracik *B E E F*

[@hunmen4737]

Its RAW

[@evannlorman7926]

Keke

[@worlds2ndbestlawyer]

Ugh me on my death bed be like

[@skeletonskeletons1853]

I hate to say it but I'm pretty sure none of my friends would ever come over if I needed help like this. They told me I have to 'stop being depressed because it makes them uncomfortable and nobody will want to hang out with me'.

[@gwenawena]

:( that's sad, here's a virtual hug \o/ I'm sure you're a great person, you just need better friends

[@JetSteele]

Fuck them! Here's another virtual hug!!

[@Betito1171]

Get better friends

[@nepneppers8122]

Skeleton Skeletons I get that, one of my friends is like that but that could just be because he is young

[@nepneppers8122]

Mentat99 I am so sorry to hear that, I know I can't really do anything for you but I can send my best wishes, I hope life turns around for you

[@cherrywaveess]

It's been 4 years since you put this video up, but whenever I need comfort, cuz of my suicidal thoughts, I come back to this video, cuz I find comfort in it. My intrusive thoughts and suicidal tendencies going wild at times, and the urge to hurt myself resurfacing everytime I feel overwhelmed by everything. This video is my safe haven, cuz I cannot confide in others.

[@niamhsammon4385]

I also come back to this video it the only one that can calm m

[@tanyayasmin6101]

I do the exact same thing.

[@WolfeofBaskevilles]

When someone is treading an endless ocean of misery, and they only feel they can drown, it's people like you who teach them they can be rescued.

[@talscorner3696]

Who not only remind people they can be rescued, but also they are worthy of the attempt! Every life is worthy, no matter how worthless its owner gas been lead or indoctrinated to think.

[@Kaija97]

@@talscorner3696 I just barely started watching this video just going through the comments and your reply immediately made me tear up so.... Thanks I guess

[@talscorner3696]

@@Kaija97 You're welcome ^_^

[@CT-1255]

*hugs*

[@Metalman16]

thank you nobody cares when i hurt myself while you dont and never will know me, this video helped ease my pain

[@scottytoohotty8510]

Pain sucks

[@ameliaradal1341]

It may be a year ago since you wrote this comment, but I hope you’re better now, and that even though you don’t think anyone cares, many people do.. I care about you~

[@irontom1052]

dude i can help for the small price of a brick of meth

[@samermaisoon1639]

I hope you're holding up alright in this quarantine

[@CT-1255]

*hugs* I care

[@benkaart9601]

Me : *hysterically crying in my room at 3 am* Also me: I am ✨fine✨

[@leahwitchypoo6085]

I could imagine you in a past life as a healer in medieval times living in a cottage in the forrest making up healing concoctions

[@irontom1052]

i am also sad can you send me some meth

[@assiaisindegyara4905]

@@irontom1052 lmao, your very proud of doing meth, i saw you in like 10 comments.

[@normalguy5157]

You know the medicine they created in medieval times almost always had a negative effect on the human body since they didn’t believe in science. Back then they’d drain your blood thinking it cured illnesses.

[@pyrodelusions23]

Like a Nordic Völva or Seeress

[@nighthorizon11]

I like that her videos are usually dark in lighting and aesthetic, cuz some ASMR videos are less relaxing when it’s a bright colorful green screen and set.

[@irontom1052]

I GOTTA HAVE TWO THINGS DOOM 2016 AND METH

[@erinclarke2695]

I self harm, I’m a lesbian and my family haaaaaates me for it. Everyone around me sees self harm as weakness. I likely won’t be around much longer. These videos are all that have kept me going up until this point. So I just wanted to say Thankyou. And please try to spread love and awareness. It’s nice to know that somebody cares, even if they don’t know you personally.

[@sapphirefalls6078]

@Erin Clarke honestly i dont care if your lesbian, you love who you love, and honestly you can feel attracted to whoever you want...and self harm is not a weakness...its a coping mechanism and in the end when tou win the battle you'll see those scars as battle scars, they show how strong you are and that even through all the hardships youve been through you were able to make it out in top...please dont say you wont be here much longer...stay here in the world because there are people who care about you, personally nor physically, i dont know you or who you are but the fact that ik what you are going through and that fact that i can relate in some sort of way and knowing that you are strong i care about you...knowing that you are human and have emotions i care about you

[@Velocitist]

Please stay around, glad that you’re still here. Everything is going to work out ok. You’re a warrior, it’s true strength that you’ve held on for so long despite it all. Please know this, it all be ok.

[@randjan8592]

I just found this video today, apparently it is 2 years later. So, how did it go?

[@abbyleah_x]

Hey, it's been 2 years.. how are you? I really hope you're doing better and ily/p

[@hybernight3795]

@@randjan8592 it's been 3 years you were saying?

[@Upload3123412]

I had friends that was extremely suicidal... With one of them I stayed up all night just to make sure she would not kill herself and stay alive....She was one of my friends in high school and I'm glad to say the she is still living and has a child now But Ally you are right....its NEVER right to trivialize someone in constant pain thinking about ending it all..............

[@heyimkean4005]

Upload3123412 u did good i mene it

[@irontom1052]

Dude i need some meth help

[@cassandra1413]

@@irontom1052 wtf???

[@nicolina429]

I chose not to watch this video because of the content, but I have to say, thank you SO much for the trigger warning at the beginning, I appreciate it so much! Love your videos!

[@rjm9090]

You know it is serious when Ally comes over without her signature makeup style. I know you are uncomfy when you don't have your makeup style done and for that I thank you for coming to my aid quickly more than you will ever know.

[@Kaenser]

Ryan Merwede lol

[@anesthetized7053]

yo man, if i were you, i wouldnt make comments about people's makeup. Typically, it isnt taken kindly. I get what you mean, but it would be wise to look past their current makeup arrangement.Usually it just makes them feel self conscious and makes them feel like they are standing out in one way or another. Just some friendly advice from someone who has learned the hard way.

[@rjm9090]

I like her makeup style. Like i said she feels uncomfortable when she doesn't have it on. So for her to put her discomfort on the back burner to help a friend in need makes me feel cared about. I would never disrespect Ally intentionally. If I ever said something and this goes for anyone I communicate with takes offense to something I say or type I would hope they would ask me what i mean. Sometimes when making a comment I don't say things in a way a person understands but others may understand me fine.

[@lith2757]

what a cute comment dude! :D

[@matthewschocke4094]

o boi she looks hella nice either way. Can't make anything negative out of that...

[@BrandonCMaximum]

These comments are so sad. Stay strong, y’all ❤️

[@buddhat4mer950]

you know what else is strong? my noose

[@fighterdove4937]

Trying to

[@elmo6834]

@@buddhat4mer950 Cilit bang I mean it cleans in just one wipe, that pretty strong

[@a.cnugget0323]

Let me help ease all of your pain. You are all wonderful people with so much to do and awesome talents. We can relate in different kinds of pain . We can't really say " we understand " Or " I can relate " Because we don't kinda. Because all pain is different even if it is self harm, abuse or ANYTHING. Because no matter what it's different . The world is cruel and dark. But we can help each other. Yes it is hard. But please try . You are all wonderful people. You are strong Smart Talented and all . I go through through depression and other things as well. It's a long story. 😔 Please be strong

[@navazen5416]

Brandon C Maximum this is so sad Alexa play despacito

[@talscorner3696]

Come on, brothers, sisters and brethren all. Just one more day; just one more day in this world. I know It's bad, I don't know your specifics, because perhaps we live in two opposite corners of the world, but I know It's bad and can only imagine what you are going through. if you are reading this comment, please, remember that you made it this far. You had the strength, resilience and downright bloody stubborness to tank the heat that life levelled at you. I know for a fact you still have some strength left; it might be hard to find, the slippery bastard, but It's there. YOU still have it, beneath those scarred armour plates. I know for a fact there is at least one person out there in the big world who is happy if you are still here, because of the potential to do great things that you have. And why do I know that for a fact? Because that at least one person is me. I believe in you, fading ember in the darkness, I believe in the strength and potential for greatness that carried you through life until now. Just one more day, brothers, sisters and brethren all.

[@kevinherr6104]

Thank you

[@gacha_potato_1955]

Thank you

[@vibereightore1591]

Hey, not sure if you'll see this, since its been 8 months now. But genuinely, thank you. I was dreading going to bed, tomorrow is so daunting. I feel weak, malnourished, unprepared, and quite frankly pretty damn stupid. I still dont want to wake up tomorrow, but, at least now I think I'll have the strength to pull myself out of bed. Thank you, because that usually takes me forever to find.

[@nonexistent1196]

Federico Gavioli it's been a long time since this comment was written, but i hope you've made it too. this helped me a lot today. thank you

[@roobyglumandyourmom]

Really. Thank you.

[@rubyrotten]

I really wish I had someone like you around when I got my own scars.

[@lavendergilly5843]

I'm 28 and covered in scars. I started when I was 14. Fuck You. It's not edgy. It's an addiction. Its hell on your body, making marks. If this doesn't touch your heart, I will not reply to you.

[@irontom1052]

Gotta have another dose of meth pls help man

[@assiaisindegyara4905]

@@AndrewSmith-wt7ws yeh i have a fair few scars as well, i guess i'd never considered wanting to do it an addiction, because i get mad and instead of taking it out on people or things i just start hacking at myself, and for a while i thought it was good until after a few months none of the first scars had faded and i went uh oh what have i done. And then after about a year they were still there but fairly faded, then one night i got upset went back to it and oh cool i get to start waiting again.

[@tiredmrp]

It's been 3 years but every video you've made to comfort or support are timeless. Thank you for making these.

[@Gbdoj]

This will forever be her absolute best upload in my eyes. Whenever I want to do it, I always come back to this

[@chrisr393]

I hope you’re doing better now 😊

[@agn3zz]

i wish i had someone like you in my life especially when i was at my worst, this is really hitting a sensitive spot and it makes me so happy seeing these kinds of videos because this is what i would’ve needed back in the days. i still struggle a lot but i’ve learned to manage/cope, but it’s still hard. thank you for this.

[@iZumba247]

I love watching your videos, you have a really warm, likable personality

[@irontom1052]

dude your pfp is cool now gimmi meth

[@irontom1052]

dude your pfp is cool now gimmi meth

[@iateabee420]

@@irontom1052 Wtf...

[@hannahwilliams5839]

I'm about to cry because no one in my life is this supportive about anything I'm going through, especially not self harm. the video helped me through a panic attack though so thank you 💕

[@weezerenthusiast]

I came to the realization today, amidst my self-harm, that I would die if I kept this up. I don't know why but this prompted me to check out these kinds of videos. lowkey, the first few gave me panic attacks, but this one was quite soothing and help. thanks so much

[@irontom1052]

I came to the realization today amidst my second line of cocaine that i needed more meth rock

[@omegared14]

You know...regardless of this being a video...you are a kind and compassionate person. Unfortunately too many people don’t take mental or emotional health seriously. I’ve had my fair share of darkness and it’s not easy to walk through it alone. I made it through, but I’ve had friends in my life that suffer and I can’t let them fight by themselves. It sucks when you don’t have anyone to help. So thank you for showing off compassion and kindness in this video. Keep being just you, because that is something amazing.

[@buddhat4mer950]

hella funny joke chelsea

[@jaymac3257]

To say I have had my share of dark times but I just reach out to god

[@irontom1052]

dude you know whats better than that??? METH

[@PoshGaming42]

After trying to commit suicide only a few weeks ago. Many suffer alone. We are not alone we have friends who truly do care. Please seek help if you ever have any thoughts. You'll be surprised at how caring the doctors are about your situation. Even if you don't want to talk about it with them they will still be there for you.

[@irontom1052]

Dude got a spec of meth

[@WanderingSoul93]

Thank You so much for this video, I was fighting away urges to cut...and worse last night....i've been in a really bad, dark place lately all alone but listening & watching you being a caring person is helping me, so thank you so much. ❤ Even if I don't have friends around me that care about me the way i need to be loved, i'm thankful that i can come to your channel for the emotional support I've been without for so long.

[@deineoma1301]

I love this video so much. I can't find comfort in a world (artificially built in a video) where everything's artificially fun and happy because in it's contrast to reality, it highlights its horrors even more. Building a imaginative world with the same problems like the real one, and then giving comfort for these problems gives me the ability to take this comfort with me in the real world

[@daylondarkangel4776]

From someone who his whole life has been marginalized his whole life over his own choices especially on my self harm from my parents, friends, and relationships this cleansed me a lot, makes me feel like me stopping wasn’t because I was ordered around to or forced to, but because this is what I wanted and could never find, thank you, for making me feel like it does exist, and doing a wonderful job of putting me to sleep with a smile knowing that I can stop and one day find someone who seems like they care like this, even if its just a youtube video because it’s not anyone, its deeply, heartwrenchingly relatable

[@blankslate7315]

This is one hell of a video. As I was watching this I’m reminded of times that maybe I should’ve opened up about certain things even though I never did. In addition to my own experiences I’ve seen this sort of thing happen to people I care about and it was truly heartbreaking and I wanted them to know that I was there for them if they needed me for anything. Sometimes what we need is someone to be there for us, for someone to care. I hope this video helps people and judging from want I’ve already read in the comments it already has. Thanks for this.

[@irontom1052]

bro offer me meth pls

[@kronksstronkstonks6360]

That's a damn good description. As much as I am a believer of "If they were going to, then they would have" in regards to suicide, it is not due to some ignorant belief that it is a cry for attention on their part but more that it is them trying to reach out and get their thoughts off of their chest in an attempt to avoid things getting to such a conclusion. Less a cry for attention more a cry for help. It's an indicator that they're not past the point of no return and that they genuinely need help to get through their situation, either by Venting or by getting assistance by those they are near, and that they have chosen to open up in such a way in front of you. Shunning them for revealing themselves in such a way is a one way ticket to being a cause of their downwards spiral. That being said I'm definitely biased in this regard. I attempted to commit suicide and the pain it caused has stopped me from ever attempting it since. There are genuine hypochondriacs out there that state foolish things like declaring their wish to commit suicide without actually meaning it, and having met one too many people lke that I didn't feel comfortable enough to reach out to others for the fear of being associated with that kind of person or having my thoughts shrugged off as being similarly melodramatic. Safe to say I regret not speaking about it because all i really accomplished was making my family feel as if I didn't trust them enough to tell them about ugh things. That was a good few years ago and were still iffy on that front, they still get overly nosy about my feelings due to the fear that i don't tell them when things are wrong. This is the second half of my reasoning for not killing myself. TL;DR - Those that assume someone talking of suicide is not being genuine are just as bad as the hypochondriacs who state as much without meaning it, because both cause those genuinely trying to reach out to doubt themselves or for those they touch out to to doubt their sincerity. This videos description is refreshingly - if not worryingly - understanding of such issues.

[@irontom1052]

hey got some meth

[@CT-1255]

Thank you for this. You were here during my darkest days and did so much for me. You were crucial in helping me to turn my life around and while i still struggle with sh, depression and anxiety i no longer have suicidal thoughts. I'm so very grateful for you and everything you do for us. I'm still here today and you are a big reason why 🫂. Thank you so much.

[@chrisdrummond8893]

Several years ago on July 4th, a friend texted me she was taking her life. I called the authorities and gave them her address. They came in time to save her life. I was doing an art project for her to surprise her when I got her text. What suicidal people don't realize in that moment is how much of a positive impact they have on others. I think the saddest thing about this incident with my friend was she wouldn't tell her father no matter how much I encouraged her to do so.

[@buddhat4mer950]

if she was really gonna do it she wouldn't have told you

[@irontom1052]

Several years ago i tryed meth and became one with the univerce pls help me out and send me some even if it is just a spec

[@CT-1255]

@@buddhat4mer950 how can you be sure everyones situation is different you don't know how she felt exactly in that moment you may have a similar experience but not the same as how she felt your just stigmatizing suicidal people and making it so that people who might be on the edge and about to go through with it don't make that call or that text

[@BigRacks111]

Thank you so much for the dim lighting. So I can sleep after feeling protected. Thank you.

[@mads5610]

videos like these are why I'm 1 year and 8 months "free"... and it has been hard, but I'll look foward to the 2 year mark, thank you so much

[@hopelizabeth]

how are you doing now?

[@nsaagentkali8984]

I can see the pain in her eyes and here the pain in her voice honestly I ended up feeling really sorry for her and forgetting about my pain she talks about alot of horrible feelings I have felt and man I now feel like I have this deep connection with her . So sweet and caring

[@trashacc69]

I didn't know how much my lonely sucidal borderline ass needed this

[@uhis1686]

Nekksplitta same..

[@a.cnugget0323]

I understand. But I'm also confused to what's going on ? Sorry. 😔

[@Callmekuckson]

Same

[@Callmekuckson]

Fucking same

[@h9964]

Thicc Weeb Boi Damn I laughed but I relate

[@King_of_Gotham]

I never thought I'd be sitting in my room at 3 in the morning watching comforting ASMR videos from someone I don't even know rather than talk to those I know in real life cause I know they would never truly care

[@David-lb5py]

Same most of my friends are now married and have kids of their own sometimes ASMR Makes me feel worse because once it’s over reality sets in and I go looking for that next fix

[@EtherealRoseWhiteRoseMary]

What some people don't understand is that self-harm is an addiction

[@niamhsammon4385]

It really is its the worsed when people say just stop it doesn't work like that

[@tstackd]

Some time ago one of my best friends took his life. I saw him less than 24 hours before he did this. At the time I saw no signs of him wanting to do this. Although I deep inside I know I was not responsible for his death, I have always felt I was. I always felt there should have been something I should have seen, something I should have done. I have not told anyone about how I feel, and I have lived with this feeling for my whole life, and will probable feel this way until the day I leave this world. It is a horrible feeling. This is the first time I have "said this out loud" and it pains me. Love your friends all the time. Even if they piss you off, remember to love them, because some day you might not have them. This world can be ugly and full of hate, but there is always a shred of beauty out there. Be loving to everyone, be kind, be compassionate. Remember, although people may look alright from the outside, inside they might be battling a shit ton of demons. A kind word or action might be the thing to keep them focused and give them strength to keep fighting. A harsh word, might be the killing blow that sends them over the edge. It is not worth the risk. It is easy to say something nice to people, and it just might say a life. To all those that read this, just remember there are good people in this world. There is love in this world, it might be hard to see at times but it is there. If nothing else, know that the broken man writing this loves you, and even though we might not know each other, you are worthy of love and you deserve to live this life to it's fullness. I am here for anyone in this world that feels weak, I can carry a huge burden, and would carry yours so that you can live your life. I love you all!

[@AngelofBanishment]

I like this comment but I don't think the ending of it does anyone any good. Maybe you mean it in this way, but taking on someone else burden instead of teaching them how to overcome it just enables them to keep piling onto it without getting any stronger themselves. Sorry thats kinda mean in itself, I know your hearts in the right place. Sorry for your loss

[@tstackd]

It's cool. I was implying that if I were able to take some of the burden away that they would be able to get stronger over time. Its like going to the gym and trying to lift 500 LBS right away. In very rare cases is that even possible, but if you start with smaller weight and gradually work yourself up, then you will be able to lift the whole weight alone. Your reply wasn't mean, it was constructive. I should have explained myself a little better. Have a great day and thank you!

[@AngelofBanishment]

Have a good one as well man

[@batlas_asmr]

Why? Why an essay?

[@buddhat4mer950]

thank you for the comedy script

[@HeidelDieBeere]

you probably cannot imagine how often i've been watching this. i wish that when i used to cut, there would have been someone who would have helped me like this. unfortunately, there was someone who acted as if they did but actually worked on isolating me from everyone else and later caused me to relapse when i found out. some people are shit

[@vanm.4475]

Been at this point in real life without someone there, found barely alive later. This is more helpful to many people than you may ever fully realize. I'm in psychology now to help others in similar dark places, your work helps mine, thank you.

[@irontom1052]

dude if you need i can buy more meth from you dude

[@allium6877]

I swear I’ve watched this to the point I’ve just about memorized every line in the first 20 minutes. I always fall asleep before I get any further. Nothing else curbs my urges as effectively as this video

[@DNA-ei7uo]

Would’ve always wanted to get this amount of care from a anyone and now I finally do thanks to this asmr. You’ve helped me go through many of these terrible days ! I wish I could just giveback in anyway possible 💜

[@THESERPENTSON]

This video helped so much... I really wish I had someone as caring for me. It's true that people are dicks; self-harming and mental illness have made my life hell, and being suicidal makes people angry at me (leading to me being alone most of the time). It makes me so happy that people as amazing as you speak up and produce content about these topics. Sending you lots of love!

[@932bandit]

Very insightful, thoughtful and informative video on a sensitive subject. Hopefully it will resonate with someone having issues or someone who knows of another reaching out for help. Good job.

[@irontom1052]

Dude i hope this is insitefull kk So what i like to do is drink meth in a can

[@ironic7583]

Suicide has always been a lingering thought in the back of my mind for the last 3 years now. I feel like I hurt everyone close to me and the only thing still grounding me is the fact that the only fear greater than continuing to live is the thought of the pure dark oblivion of death. That being said videos like this really help, they allow me to get a feeling of support that the people I surround myself with are incapable of giving. Thank you

[@frenchbassguy]

I like to put this on afterwards so it feels like someone actually cares

[@_Water__Melon_]

I'm doing that rn

[@justydog99]

Same here m8

[@johnwest6690]

We care. Look after yourself dude.

[@kiiper13]

Your such a beautiful and kind person for making videos like these, helping me and so many others get through hard times

[@ben_the_one6486]

Ok I know this video is serious but she said snap my fingers and my first thought was thanos kills half the universe

[@aikaankadonnut]

okay really 😂

[@rhysbuxton4437]

You should have gone for the head

[@krafftadrien7389]

Nooooo you can't thinking about that😂😂😂

[@connorhammond4193]

acidic kid 😂😂 thanks for that as this comment should light the mood just a enough to make someone laughs

[@irontom1052]

i smoke rocks need meth

[@CDHyena]

I watched this video about a week ago because of a joke thinking “you know asmr really doesn’t help these kinds of things how funny is this”, but have been watching this specific video over and over before bed and sometimes in the afternoon....I don’t know how the fuck this happened, but I have not felt the need to cut while I watch your video....it’s like you put this magic asmr spell on me that makes me feel calm, safe, & loved. My friends have done nothing to help me stop cutting so I’ve been getting worse for the past 2 months, but my arm is now healing thanks to this single video you made. Thanks you so fucking much for doing this video. Although this began as a joke it ended up changing my life and I hope it will continue to do this thing it’s been doing for so long. You also don’t know how happy I am that thoughts of death and cutting and all that fun stuff has been decreasing a bit. It’s not much due to the fact it’s just a video, but I’m just happy it is doing something that no one would or maybe could do.

[@Tetsujinsei]

Well I did slice up my fingers a little bit trying to install an AC unit. Appreciate the patch up.

[@buddhat4mer950]

weird flex but okay

[@austinhancock5814]

A strange boast, but alright

[@zekethegamefreak4930]

Queer Blazon, but alas

[@edgyboi780]

xD

[@kloofog7606]

EdGy bOi "xD" Mmm yes I can feel the cringe

[@deathbystereo1484]

As someone who struggles with self harm and suicidal ideation I found this very comforting thank you for uploading

[@WarWornWarrior]

I love you. This means so much to me especially now. Cheers for making me smile.

[@DarkSoul-zg3fi]

This is most likely one of the most soothing videos i've ever seen on this topic. I have personal experience and i can say here and now that the situation was handled extremely well, as well as being generally calming even for those who are just seeking comfort. Thank you for this, I really appreciate you taking the time to create this for those in need

[@user-fn8tf6yi5i]

:) kinda needed this, been going through some stuff and i relapsed after a little over a month of being clean. thanks for the video

[@soundlysleeping4567]

i had a really, really rough day. just an hour ago i was sobbing and about to fall into a depression nap. this video was exactly what i needed and it managed to calm me down physically as well as emotionally after spending all day wanting to die. thank you so much. thank you for being the decent person everyone needs in their life, remember to think just how many people you cheered up with this and helped out in rough times. it felt extremely real, i love you

[@nightkaiju9860]

One form of self harm I feel that nobody talks about is overexertion. Somebody who pushes themselves far beyond their limit because they're told/believe they have to, with no regard for their own well being. I've seen a lot of friends of mine become completely different and transform from self accepting to self loathing and constantly drained bc they believe the only validation they have is in work/proving themselves to be better/stronger. A lot of times it's completely unintentional, and can lead to other forms of self harm, which makes it one of the most dangerous forms in my opinion. It overtakes people without them realizing so easily.

[@Escreality]

Been there, done that, my friend. It happens when we grow up in an environment that doesn't care much about our well being, teaching us to ignore our limits, our needs and our boundaries - just look at how our school systems are set up. We learn to push ourselves to meet a certain standard and then the bar gets perpetually raised until we can no longer keep up and are shamed, blamed and berated as if that's a personal failure. It's hard to get over this unfortunate conditioning because it's hard to escape it. Not only does society sell suffering as virtuous, it simultaneously makes you feel selfish for refusing to allow yourself to be exploited. We all must move in the direction of self-love if we are to end this rat race of self-sacrifice.

[@GreyGhoste99]

Very appreciative for this video💜 It’s soo nice to acknowledge depression /anxiety through asmr❤️

[@Caitlin_TheGreat]

Thank you. Seriously.

[@irontom1052]

np can i have some meth

[@Jose2.2]

Words cannot express how much I appreciate you and this video. It brought me to tears. Thank you.

[@worlds2ndbestlawyer]

This reminds me of my day in the nurse's office the day after. It's oddly comforting, someone caring about you.

[@irontom1052]

this reminds me of the day i did meth in the nurse's office she thaught i was doing a prescription

[@worlds2ndbestlawyer]

@@irontom1052 haha yeah I remember that

[@RobMacabre]

Thank you. No one takes us guys seriously when we give up x

[@ms.kuntmuffinstwatwaffles9262]

Hadn't commented on this yet cuz to make one requires to think about the situation(s) I was in when this video helped me, which then reminds of the pain and usually another breakdown (or other things) quickly ensues.. and quite honestly, I haven't truly had "a good day" or "been okay" for some time but whenever I finally snap and lose my shit, *this video always brings me back.* It's been 7 times (that I can recall) since it's uploaded that it's saved me and I'm seriously appreciative, to the point nothing at all fully expresses how grateful I am.. *Thank you for this... and every other video of yours that has release from reality.* 🖤 Note: No sympathy please, just telling it like it is.

[@neveyya]

honestly these videos are basically giving me hugs when i need them most

[@nepneppers8122]

Oh how I wish I had a friend like this. When I was in the heart of my suicidal depression I had no one to help me out, I had my (now) ex and my school friends, however I could only contact them at school or very rarely on the phone/game console. I did cut, 20 something times, and had one suicide attempt but I was able to stop myself somehow. I've gotten better bit something is still there, sometimes I'll get to where I don't want to live not because I'm sad but because it's a huge pain just sitting here living and I have no real reason to want to do anything. Thank you Ally, people like you make me want to live just for people like you(if that makes any sense)

[@AngelofBanishment]

Janet Bearden I like this comment because my chest knows the scars, and my .45 remembers the bullet with my name on it. The like feelings of just existing and not living. So long ago yet still so close

[@heyimkean4005]

Janet Bearden we are all here for u

[@TedLJones]

WAIT you cut 20 times? I cut 57 in the last week! Oh shit, it's worse than I thought...

[@irontom1052]

so im going to rp as a cop and your going to hand the meth over to me and then ima rp do it

[@Koldfuzion83]

Ally, you are so wise and you have a heart of pure gold. Your videos never cease to amaze me and this one is no different. Knowing there's someone like you around gives me hope that the human race is not entirely doomed. I don't believe anyone could ever feel depressed or anxious in your company; your warmness, openness and sincerity is so comforting. It is one thing to go through an ordeal and to find the strength to push through and work to heal yourself, but it's another thing to reach out to others going through similar ordeals, to give them a helping hand, as well, potentially reliving the pain/anguish/sadness again for the sake of just simply helping another. That is a wonderful and completely selfless thing to do. I can see your channel being a shining light for quite a number of people. Thank you for what you do and have done. May it come back to you tenfold.

[@MEGAF4IL]

All content from [Esc] Reality is just.. Inexplicably well done. The RP feels like it comes from both RP & IRL experience. Falling asleep to your voice/ASMR is like being cradled in a silk hammock by a creek. You understand our situations even though you might never know any of us - your work is a gift. Thank you.

[@irontom1052]

all meth is Inexplicably well done. so. send me some

[@Punknplant]

i just wanted to say thank you for putting this out. i really needed it this week because its been a year since my mental heath took a really bad turn to the point of me basically being so heavily medicated i couldnt leave the couch so thank you so much for putting this out. i really needed something like this

[@BLUESTREAK91]

Always good to have those you care about closest to ur heart💖🙏 keep your loved ones close and take care of each other and yourselves. Good day to you Ally and the people in the comments section

[@irontom1052]

dude your not gonna belive how many comments about meth i just made FML

[@Rain69342]

I haven't yet watched the video fully but just from reading what you wrote and seeing/hearing how you are, you seem like an amazing person!! The world needs more like you.

[@joshitheyoshi2180]

I also want such a friend that comes over when i struggle;^;

[@heyimkean4005]

joshi the yoshi we are all here for u

[@uhis1686]

SLAV BOY no u aren't. Even if you mean well. And I appreciate people on the internet commenting positive stuff. But you can't help us.

[@joshitheyoshi2180]

UHIS yea true

[@irontom1052]

dude meth helps with the struggle

[@plasticknife1423]

@@irontom1052 meth is expensive

[@umbragaidrich7129]

I cried myself to sleep listening to this thank you for this video I really wish there were more people like you

[@GelicaMarie4018]

41:40 Omg, why is this so accurate to me?! I honestly didn't know this was a thing that people felt, tbh I just thought that I was being manipulative and toxic for thinking this way. I never really talk about it for the reason actually. I struggle with an eating disorder and self harm (my SH is less frequent tho) I want to recover from both, and I tried to a couple of times and I've noticed that my friends and family were more supportive when I was upset and in a worse place but when I was in my recovery phase I had a lot less supportive and I couldn't reach out to them. So I feel like they were only there because I was sick so if I got better I was basically lose them. I really want to get better but I don't want to lose anyone. How am I supposed to recover. Also on the flip side if I'm too sick all the time, I feel like my friends and family will get sick of me and leave because of that, so at this point Idk

[@TheKait1019]

Thank you for making this video, I feel like nobody cares whether I live or die. They all just seem tired of me. I’ve been trying to find asmr videos that would actually be useful. So thank you

[@SaucyMcLovin]

Aww. She’s the best, she’s such a great person😊

[@jaimiestone7715]

Consistently, and continuously, the best ASMRtist going.

[@maxhilliard2801]

But, also I don't want anyone feeling the pain that I do. So thats why on the surface I am very nice caring and loving person.

[@aparanoidandroid8939]

Go to therapy. It’s really helped me, since I now have a safe space to discuss how I’m really feeling. I had to get hospitalized, cause I just kept letting it build up. DONT let it get to that point. Being hospitalized sucks I cannot stress this enough. Find a good therapist.

[@gardenfaerieee]

@@aparanoidandroid8939 I agree with you! But some people sadly can’t afford therapy and/or just don’t have that as an option for many different reasons. It’s really sad but it’s true :( I’m glad to see people like you helping other out! Keep it up💕

[@scott49140]

this video was amazing was almost like talking to that friend ive never had always wondered what it would be like to have someone who cares about you that much ive been there with severe depression, existential crisis, deep suffering and i completley understand what its like when it seems like no one cares it just pulls you further down you feel like whats the point, this video brings awareness to a very real issue my heart bleeds out for anyone going through this very painful time hold and stay strong

[@aparanoidandroid8939]

Just wanted to say thank you for understanding

[@underappreciateddoorknob9879]

I wish my family would react to my self harm like this. Calm, understanding, and you even fixed me up which I never did for myself.

[@abbadon2929]

I know I’m unbelievably late to the party, but I still felt that this is good enough a reason to comment. Thank you for this video, and thank you for helping those of us that feel worthless, unloved, unworthy of anything but the most cruel treatment, and those that feel the world would be better off without them, thank you for helping us feel like we’re worth something, if only for 1-1.5 hours. Thank you

[@tecciztucatl]

What an extraordinary person. Thankyou for everything you've given us.

[@robmccaughey8351]

Sometimes all it takes is just a simple question of 'how are you doing', and then actually listen without the glassy eyes. Most avoid approaching someone who is sad. Dysthymia makes it even worse because nobody even sees you struggle and you feel like a narcissist having to tell someone. It feels like being '10 second Tom', except you're not the one who forgets.

[@Soul_Sunset]

I just want you to know, you’re a good person. Even by reading just a little bit of the video description, it shows miles of maturity and understanding. Thank you.

[@morganminecraftlegion9101]

A friend of mine shot himself about a month and a half after I met him. It's somewhere between a short and moderately-long story about a very short period of time. To respect him and his family, I won't say his name in this comment. As for our other friends, I've since moved and lost contact, so I can't get consent to use their names either. For the sake of simplicity in telling this, I'll call the guy who committed suicide Ethan. The school and their schedule adjustment system may have been partially responsible for the outcome of the situation. First, we had 1 class together. Then the school adjusted my schedule a week later. 2 classes. Next change, I had lunch with the Ethan and another friend we had in biology, (who we'll call Syran) as well as some guy I literally met there at that table (who we'll call Pat) that they'd known for awhile. It wasn't long before we all got to know each other somewhat well (this was the first school quarter of the 2016-2017 school year. Keep that in mind for a little bit later because that's a little bit important. ) On a Tuesday in mid to late October, Ethan said, "I've gotta go." and left through the front entrance to the school, not headed to the next class. At the end of the day, he was missing in class, and we figured he might have gotten sick or something. That would've been an okay explanation, had that been the case, because he was also gone the next day. It was Thursday morning, and I swear, people were acting really ominously. I don't know if that's my memory ticking me or whether something was up. Everyone was talking about some sort of announcement that the teachers were to make. When 1st period rolled around, the only thing that came on the P.A. was "teachers, if you could please make the, uh, announcement..." something something something. Don't remember the rest, that was the gist of it, and the other announcements were postponed until the next day. Not even the pledge was said. My history teacher read a letter by the district, following it's exact phrasing, essentially saying that Ethan had committed suicide. I didn't know it was him because of the common first name, and I'd never gotten to know his last name from him personally. But when my teacher was done reading the letter, he briefly described the student in question and where they were from, and I no longer had a doubt in my mind. Accepting it was the difficult part. Syran and a girl I'd never met before were in the library with the counselors and called me in there to be with them. The counselor seemed to try to make it look like he was emotional, but you could kind of tell he was purely looking for answers to his questions. You know, "Did Ethan act any differently before he committed suicide, did he leave any signs?" That kind of thing. It was another week before we found out that he left a note with his family, essentially saying that he thought this world was a test or simulation and he thought he was just moving onto the real thing. It both saddened me and pissed me off. Like, if I'd known that's what it was, Schizophrenia, I'd have talked him back into reality. It was also with the counselor that we met the girl he was interested in, but had been taken, who I mentioned before (we'll call her Jane). She thought it was her fault because she had turned down his request to go to prom. Not sure if that's typical, but we all talked her back into reality, that there's nothing anybody could have done. Pat turned out to be a racist. When Trump won, he told a group of African-Americans, "Ha, you lost, you stupid [N-Word here]s!" or something along those lines, as I heard it from some of my own African-American friends (to be clear, I'm white and had no way of knowing that he was racist, him having not mentioned his perspectives or anything before. We all mainly talked about school life and Star Trek). As a result, he was temporarily suspended, but after he returned, I never spoke to him again. I went to Ethan's memorial, met his sister/brother (gender-fluid, born female) and his uncle or step-father or something who was his only relative living in this area. Different last name, never got to know why. I've since moved, I'm Facebook friends with the 2 family members of his I met. I only knew Ethan briefly, but the pain of losing someone who just clicks with you and becomes your friend that quickly, that searing, stabbing, burning pain, that never goes away.

[@CT-1255]

*hugs* yeah I understand the pain but we'll see this through together

[@mollycblaeser]

This was the first video of yours I ever watched. Somehow, KZbin knew I was at the lowest point in my life and recommended this to me. It was like a gift from above. I come back to it on the bad days. Thank you.

[@thesweeterthingsindeath]

Stay in there guys ❤️

[@pango2262]

Giving people a place where they can feel like they can speak, with people who are here to help and understand the struggle, is really admiring, when people struggle yet a little part of them want to be saved is the opportunity of a new beggining, we should not feel ashamed of seeking help, our words and actions matter in the grand scheme of things, we matter, so for this and for all the work you put into your videos, thank you so much, you are saving lives, you saved my life at one point, so it will not got unnoticed

[@lonelyloser4650]

"cause i care about you" i can't remember the last time someone told me that. Thank you

[@aparanoidandroid8939]

Cant remember the last time somebody meant it when they said it, cause nobody ever has

[@Eolind]

Not sure if you'll see this, since this video was posted a few years ago, but... This was beautiful. Thank you. ❤️

[@femurbreakur]

Tonight has been a rough night, this helped me feel better. Thank you

[@thesweeterthingsindeath]

Same here... I’m glad this made you feel better though

[@frostphoenix8256]

Honestly one of the best descriptions of pain I've ever heard- forget asmr, tears of release triggered :)

[@realravenrain]

This is a beautifully crafted video!

[@clxxdz6052]

Raven Rain I see you everywhere. Mostly underrated channels.

[@realravenrain]

+Scytheric Hello and Meep! :3

[@trashpanda5869]

No puns?

[@realravenrain]

+Mrkindalegal TheBagopaniest I compliment too! :3

[@thedarksamurai7538]

Very easy to find you nowadays.

[@nathanielsmith4654]

Happy to see content like this. Much love sis.

[@nathanielsmith4654]

Even if this was years ago.

[@paigelambert8505]

my best friend did this for me before i am so lucky to have her in my life. love you emma ❤️

[@rileymachelle4088]

Thank you, I've been extremely suicidal the past 6 months and these kind of videos help me keep going

[@aparanoidandroid8939]

How are u doing?

[@budgaming1018]

best hour im gonna have for a while :)

[@irontom1052]

Best hour on meth for sure