Patients who say they're afraid to die

[@tansysilva8594]

A week before my 8 yr old son, Eli, was killed in a mva, he told me he was afraid to die, out of the blue. He then asked me if he'd see Rosie and Chester in heaven, our dachshunds that passed away. He was instantly comforted when I told him yes! This now comforts me, that they are all together.

[@LaLadybug2011]

As a mother and now grandmother, I would give anything to be able to hug you right now. I am so sorry about your Eli. What an amazing opportunity he gave you by saying that to you. And the perfect response by you should bring you great comfort! Children are so innocent and pure, they are surely a piece of heaven on earth. I believe with all my heart and soul you'll be with Eli someday and he and the doggies will be there to greet you. May your heart and soul be comforted until that day comes.

[@thebreakofdawnzinaz2898]

I am so very sorry that your little boy passed away at such a young age. I do very much hope that your beautiful dachshunds greeted him with happy kisses and so much love, and I hope they all greet you the same way when it is your time. God bless.

[@donnae2013]

Yes ❤

[@cuteclassi2004]

Sad I wonder if he had a feeling about dying?

[@hospicenursejulie]

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

[@jonshannon1025]

I worked in a State run VA in Florida and was taking care of a Veteran that just decided he was tired of living and refused all care including eating and drinking and just shut down refusing to even talk. He was in his early 90's a WWII Veteran. I called the family and about two days later his grand daughter came to say goodbye and again he refused to respond to anyone including her. The grand daughter told me that when she was a little girl he was a pig farmer and they use to call in the pigs and she really had a wonderful memory of that. I decided to call in the pigs with a loud "Sueeeeeeee" and the Vet. open his eye and had a conversation with his grand daughter. She was so happy. That night he passed on.

[@Mspiggytmike]

I had a beloved friend and pastor who was asked to talk to a child in his congregation who was dying. She wanted to ask her pastor what it was like to die..He explained it like this: Have you ever fallen asleep in the car and then your daddy carried you inside and you woke up safe at home in your bed? I think that's what it's like.

[@loyaldogpublishingllc915]

Beautuful!

[@jackiejackson1650]

I certainly appreciate you sharing your experiences and knowledge on this topic. I've shared this platform with several people I know who are experiencing the dying process even if the patient wasn't hospice!

[@bethteer1509]

That's pretty much exactly how the Bible describes Death, as a SLEEP*UNCONSCIOUSNESS. It even tells us that the "Dead know NOTHING, yet the Living know they will die....".

[@L_Jan_Turner]

​@@bethteer1509I've studied the Bible for over 50 years. There is no verse that says they stay asleep. They might need to rest after spending time in this realm, but it makes no sense that they would be in an unconscious state. Listen to some of the Christian NEDs, near,-death experiences.

[@Cognitoman]

You know what it’s like being dead ? What it was like before you were born. We have already been dead before

[@ricadm20]

My 77 year old father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and he was told by his doctors that he only have couple of months to live. While he was in the ICU, my dad told me he was not ready to die and said he still have a lot of things to do. I held his hand and I reassured him that those things will be taken cared of. We prayed together, talked, said our thank you's and I love you's and face timed with our family overseas. It was sad and bitter sweet. He passed away peacefully on his sleep the following day 12/20/2022. I love you daddy. I miss you every single day.

[@PanamaRose]

My father in law was ill in the hospital. He had multiple health issues that were becoming untreatable. We visited him on a Sunday, and it was decided he was to come home and go into hospice. We all told him we loved him and would see him the next day, and take him home. He died that night at 3am. Thank you for sharing, I'm glad you had that time with your dad.

[@ricadm20]

@@PanamaRose thanks for sharing your story. It's almost the same as my dad's. The last day I visited him was a Monday and he was supposed to move to a hospice care but he passed away in the ICU at 2am the following day

[@SandraShoup]

​@@ricadm20k😅

[@SandraShoup]

😅😅

[@sharonplant4102]

My mum died in august 2022 she was 77 she was afraid of dying but she had the perfect death all her family at her hospital bed she went nice and peaceful. I miss her terribly

[@genamartin229]

I was comfortable enough with my mother’s condition that I asked if she was afraid to die. She said she wasn’t. She said she was just afraid to leave us alone. I’m blessed to have had that relationship with her.

[@veronicaayers9047]

My mom died from cancer a year ago and we had periodic conversations about how she was feeling about what was going on with her. It was a four year battle in and out of hospital with multiple surgeries. About two months before she died she said she was done and wasn’t afraid and she would miss me. I appreciate the relationship we had even more now. I miss you too mom

[@robertmontgomery3892]

My mother died just after her 90th birthday. I don't think she had any fear of death but she did say that "I'll miss being with you".

[@99Michael]

My mom was 60 years old when she died of cancer; I remember visiting her in the ICU after a heart attack, all bloated from drugs and treatment. She said she wasn't afraid to die as she knew she would never be the woman she was all energetic and athletic, drinking and laughing with her friends. She wanted me to know she was ready to go and for me to know she was okay.

[@genamartin229]

@@99Michael Thanks everyone for sharing your stories too. Even though people die, this shows they can die a good, peaceful death that is so atraumatic….and that we can enjoy our memories knowing that our loved ones can pass with no fear. The sadness is ours to bear. It’s been 13+ years since my mother passed and I’m glad to say I’ve only had 2-3 dreams where I was aware in the dream that she was even sick. I hope you all have mostly good memories and dreams of your loved ones. 🙏🏻💞🕊

[@truthhurtswilky7785]

That is almost the same thing my mother said. We were both blessed.

[@b3u3g3g3y]

One thing that comforts me about death is the idea that death is something shared by everyone who has ever lived. You are not alone in dying. Every historical figure: Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Albert Einstein, Jesus, Elvis Presley, on and on, including billions of people you never heard of throughout history. Everyone. All of them are your fellow humans, your brothers and sisters - you are part of this group - and every one of them has died. This makes me feel like I am not facing this alone.

[@terrycook477]

I know two people that died before, one for 7 minutes and the other for 15 minutes (drowned in freezing water). Both described a serene, calm beautiful realm and each almost eagerly await the final death, It gave me great peace to hear their testimony

[@geckster109]

I was "dead" for 18 minutes during a cardiac arrest. The final moments just before I went lights out was absolutely the most peaceful feeling i've ever experienced!

[@JudyCerda]

That's good to hear.

[@matthenley7082]

@@geckster109 what all did you experience? I'm so curious

[@shariaguillon7861]

For me, it's not dying that scares me, it's how I did. I'm afraid of pain, or not being able to breath. Drowning is one of my fears, because you can't breath.

[@TheScapegoat420]

I have mostly heard drowning is peaceful. You just have to get past that first breathe. It does seem terrifying though.

[@radsdad1]

I was in healthcare for 31 years. People like Julie are a gift to humanity. I am a better person after being around people like her.

[@tm13tube]

I made sure my therapist knew about her. She is so straightforward, not extreme, not at all dark or pretend. A valuable resource. Safe to recommend.

[@CornbreadOracle]

“I don’t know what to say but I want to be here because I love you” seems like one of the kindest, most loving things you can say in that moment. Excellent advice.

[@hospicenursejulie]

You're the best!

[@hospicenursejulie]

💗💗💗💗

[@lisam8044]

Yes that was the last thing I said before my best friend and father in law went into a drug induced coma and he had the biggest smile ....yes just say how much u love them

[@sarahcook2136]

Just listening is such a wonderful response and letting them know how loved they are and we will be with them for as long as they need or want

[@tonyramirez4915]

So...offer no comfort or hope? Sounds cold to me for someone who's scared and dying. What about offering to talk to a priest, or asking them about their own faith? Sounds cold to me. All due respect.

[@kevkev5935]

I lost my dad to cancer. In the last couple of weeks we had a hospice nurse come to the house. I will tell you there's nothing easy or pleasant for the patient and family in the end of life but having a caring person help guide you all through that process makes the world of difference. Our nurse took care of the medical needs, but more than thst laughed and cried with us. You hospice nurses are a rare breed and beyond amazing. It takes a special kind of person to do that role.

[@juliemiller3502]

As an ER/trauma RN I have a true love and so much respect for hospice nurses. I can deal with blood and horrible injuries, etc., but I could never do hospice nursing. They truly are a special breed.

[@kevkev5935]

@@juliemiller3502 They really are. I'm a former firefighter & EMT so I definitely get what you are saying.

[@JesusSaves827]

It must be a calling. God bless them all. ❤️ They are certainly doing Gods work.

[@karenkimbrell1671]

@@JesusSaves827 It's definitely a calling. Any nursing is, but especially hospice nurses. My mom had hospice care the last 5 months of her life, and her caregivers were amazing. They worked with my dad too and helped him learn how to help Mom. He'd never been a "hands on" dad, as far as changing diapers, feeding, etc that kind of stuff when my sister and I were babies. He was wonderful after the baby stage. Hospice taught him how to give Mom her my meds, bathe her and take care of her personal care. A calling? For sure! I was 2 hours away during her illness, and still working and had a young child, so I could only be there on weekends. The hospice nurses --and chaplains -- were a wonderful source of support, information, and love. Mom died in 1993, and I'm still grateful to this day for their loving care. A calling? Definitely. Calling all angels....

[@marypritchett115]

The last time my sister laughed is a beautiful memory for me. She woke up from a nap and asked me how she died. I laughed and said “honey, you’re not dead yet.” She snickered at herself like I remembered her doing many times. She was not afraid to die the next day. ☺️

[@TanyaOsterman-hw9wv]

I like your sister. I have often thought how glorious it would be to laugh (and mean it) just before leaving this world. My deepest sympathy for your loss.

[@MrDavenez]

Betty white said when someone died in her family when she was a little girl her Mom would always say "Now they know the secret" I always thought that was a beautiful response to death ❤❤❤ and a beautiful way to explain it.

[@annettelalonde1977]

That is beautiful. Thanks for sharing that.❤

[@318greenman]

My brother Keith would always say something very similar. He would say they know now they know... Now he knows 😢 💜

[@MrDavenez]

@318greenman I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother "Keith" God bless him 🙏❤️🙏 Now he knows and I hope it's wonderful and full of beauty and everything he loves ❤️

[@318greenman]

Thanks I really appreciate u taking the time to respond... He was an extremely unique person/musician with his own take on The world and an extremely sensitive soul 💜

[@MrDavenez]

@@koreyb Really ??? When did you die ???

[@aesteinberg]

Your videos should be required viewing - by everyone. Just lost my uncle with whom I was very close, this past weekend. My first time in a hospice, and despite the gravity of the situation, I felt prepared-ish, because of you, Julie. Thank you.

[@RickW-HGWT]

Condolences on the loss of your uncle, God bless.

[@heatherdavis7290]

❤

[@madelynhernandez7453]

Well I hope you didnt cause more anguish with this advice. I would be devastated if I was not told anything. For Gods sake, you try to comfort someone whom has asked you something. Even if you dont have the answer. I guess Im just one person that no answer or an I dont know is so triggering to me.

[@aesteinberg]

@@madelynhernandez7453 ‘Scuse me?

[@g.k.1669]

We were present when my father died and when my mother died several years later. My father was hanging on for a long time when my brother leaned over and said "Dad, don't worry about us, we can take care of everything and mom now." He opened his eyes and looked at the wall and said "Mama?" then smiled and died. Our mother suffered several small strokes that left her incapacitated and unable to speak. She was going through the same process that you show in your videos as she laid there with diminished breathing. She then came to with wide open eyes and was staring at us, still unable to speak. She then started staring at the wall with a puzzled look on her face and then developed a big smile as her eyes darted back and forth as if people were speaking to her just like at a party. She would stare back at us and then the wall as if wondering why we were not looking that way. I told my mom "I have a pretty good idea of who is talking to you, but they are here for you to see, not us. Tell them that we said hello." Our mom then laid back down and died a few minutes later. I have to admit, after witnessing this, I have no fear of death. It is just a doorway and the two people that I witnessed going through it seemed pretty happy about it.

[@timothyj1966]

Yupp- took my mom a week to die, Mostly slept. But woke up for a few minutes, my last time where she was conscious...."Mom, Mom,...." she said.. I took the Picture of her mother down from wall, who passed when my mom was 12, brought up to her bed so she could see it clearly .... got the biggest SMILE, than that was it. My last moment with her... Death is just a door...

[@DebbieMacNH]

This gave me chills and hope. Thanks for sharing. ❤

[@daisyandme72]

Thank you for this Julie! I currently have an incurable metastatic cancer, which is now my 3rd cancer in my 40s. Although I’m not at a hospice point yet, the day will inevitably come before I will be ready for it to happen. I have thought about this concept often and I do hope that when that time comes, it is handled a lot differently by others than when hearing of my cancer diagnosis. I’m an RN as well, so I do notice that many speak to me now in a similar way as if I were currently at the end of my life. I fully agree with you that sometimes saying nothing,….just sitting with me,…letting me talk, cry, vent,…or just saying “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here” is enough. Don’t ever stay away out of fear of saying the wrong thing. I assure you,…the staying away hurts far more. We don’t need or expect anything profound. In fact, if you haven’t been in our shoes, you likely can’t offer anything profound. I have told so many people that it is NEVER better to stay away from someone when their time is limited. It is wasting time with them that you won’t get back. Always remember that we are still your friend, daughter, sister, mom, etc. A visit doesn’t need to be about our death or diagnosis. We are the same people as before,…sometimes it feels nice to treat us as we always were. We can reminisce, talk about things we love, hear the latest gossip, anything really. Just be there. Just understand that we know that you can’t fix this for us,…we don’t expect you to. We just want to not feel alone or maybe have a nice distraction. Don’t put your fear in not knowing what to say ahead of coming to spend time with us. Put yourself in our shoes for a moment and imagine how that would feel.

[@Z1nny]

Hugs ❤️

[@ablanccanvas]

Beautifully expressed. 😌♥️

[@Outsider4JC]

Just want to remind you about the most most important decision we need to make before we die, and that is to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. My father just passed, and wasnt able to pass this on to him in time. I just wanted to let you know a little about what the bible says. For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. So no one is good enough to get to heaven due to the law of the 10 commandments. Bible also says, its not by works should any one boast. So being a good person does not get you to heaven either. The only way to heaven is by repenting of your sins, and putting your faith in Jesus. Bible says, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So you see, there is a need for salvation to get to heaven, that is why Jesus died on the cross. He took all of our sins upon him, so that if we call upon him, and accept Him into our Heart, we can have eternal life. We must be Born Again to enter the kingdom of God. You do not get there being a good person, or doing good deeds. Jesus also says, that I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes unto the father, except through me. So please make that decision, so that you can have peace and comfort when your time is up. Its the most important decision of your life. you can then have that eternal peace and assurance before you die. All you have to do is humble your heart and say, Jesus, i believe you died and rose again, I repent of my sins, I ask you to come into my life, be my Lord and savior, I give you control. From this day forward, I want to live for you. At that moment, The Lord will send His Holy Spirit to come live on the inside of you. The Holy Spirit is the seal of God, and your evidence you have been born again. He will transform your heart and mind. You will become a new creature in Christ. Old things will pass away, all things will become new. Its truly Amazing! Its the most important decision of anyone's life. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Please believe me, and research for yourself. Once its over, there is no turning back. Jesus cares for you, and does not wish for you to be separated from him. So many people think that being a good person gets you there, and its simply not true, so please don't ignore. Today is the day of salvation. He loves you, and does wish for anyone to be apart from Him, but to have eternal life in heaven. Be blessed. Im praying for you. Please ask Jesus to come into your heart my friend, He loves you!

[@BR-kk9qu]

I am thinking about you. ❤

[@yayah1749]

I hear” you ❤️ It would be nice to just laugh , even at the “bad” stuff. Life is not over. You’re here, and I hope you smiled and laughed today ❤️ Thank you for reminding me the importance of just “ being” .

[@teresautterback1492]

Your last statement: "The more open we can be, the more honest we can be, the more peaceful we will live & the more peaceful we will die". Says it all right there. Thank you, Julie.

[@mattneal5257]

I have an absolutely terrifying fear of death right now. It keeps me up at night and I don’t want to feel like this and live in fear. I really hope I have a long time left in this life, but I know how quickly that can change. Scares me so much

[@helenpearson7782]

Ask The Holy Spirit to calm your fear.

[@murphyslaw5150]

I’m not religious - agnostic I would say. But I have to say, people like you are angels. Absolute angels. Thank you.

[@THEJ0KER8888]

It frightens me that you are not sure of your eternal salvation. One great thing about Jesus Christ is He's not looking for a religion but a relationship with all who will call upon His name, repent (turn away from sin), seek Him and ask Him to be your Lord and Saviour. We will all serve a master and we will all live in eternity. The decision we have to make is who will we serve? Those who ride the fence, chose Satan outright, and those who die before choosing will spend eternity in Hell separated from God. Those who sincerely choose Jesus Christ will spend eternity in heaven with God. I pray you get off the fence, seek Jesus Christ while He can still be found and surrender yourself to Him. You will not regret that choice. Praying for you to make the right choice soon because none of us are promised tomorrow. 🙌🙌🙌❤❤❤

[@dog-eared6991]

@@THEJ0KER8888 shut up

[@THEJ0KER8888]

@@dog-eared6991 Hit a nerve? Just maybe the Holy Spirit trying to get your attention. God bless!

[@kevinbursey7284]

Hi Murphy I can give you proof for God if you’re interested

[@leaaba2965]

It is really selfish to say, look at all these good people do you think all go to hell just because they don't believe in a certain religion, c'mon that thought is so immature you can have a way better god a moral one not a tyrant. A loving god is not supposed to abuse the power.​@@THEJ0KER8888

[@ginnytalbert2524]

When my brother was on hospice he was afraid to die. I felt blessed to be able to be there and comfort him while he passed. It was an honor to be there for him and his wife.

[@johnmassoud930]

My mom died 2 months ago from 2 Stage 4 cancers and Alzheimers. Hospice was there at the end to make sure she was comfortable and pain free. Thank you to all memory care workers and everyone at Hospice for all you do.

[@marilyncalvert4143]

Hospice is great! They were at my home when my husband died. I advise everyone to get hospice in.

[@johnmassoud930]

@marilyncalvert4143 great advice. Can't say enough good things about Hospice.

[@jm7804]

The hospice nurses and counselors who helped my mom were amazing as well. We took care of her at home but I'm not sure we could've done nearly as well without their help. Mom asked that two of them be allowed to speak at her service. They checked up on me for 6 months or so after she passed. Hospice workers are heaven sent.

[@andreaedwards8644]

You are such a sweetheart Julie. I'd love you to be there with me when my time comes. Thank you for all the information you give us and your kindness. You are indeed a special human being. ❤

[@vernervanschalkwyk2280]

My dad passed away 5 January this year after battling cancer. My mom and my son was with him. They prayed for him and sang his favourite gospel songs for him to hear. Both of them say it was amazing jist being with him as he slowly stopped breathing. Thank you for creating this channel. It gives us answers on many questions. Be blessed.

[@BirdDogey1]

Devout Christian here...I had a widowmaker heart attack last year. I was in a great deal of pain and then no longer in pain. I could sense the pain but it was "over there". Started to hear a comforting voice in my head. Snapped back into the moment with the paramedics. They told me to say goodbye to my wife "just in case" . She leaned over me crying. I looked into her eyes and said, "You can't date anyone on my pension". She tried not to laugh. Just wanted to lighten the tension. Of course I survived. I can't tell you how bad I feel for someone who doesn't trust in the Lord at this moment because I know.

[@wanderer44-xr5si]

Amen. Continue to let people know how important it is to receive Jesus before their time is up. Be blessed

[@77Jonb]

That's powerful brother... thanks for sharing 🙏

[@GramCracker77]

John 14:6 King James Version 6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

[@jenniferseals3642]

Not wanting to die is different than being afraid to die. You’re right- let them talk and validate their feelings. Listening to someone is sometimes more important than saying anything. I would ask how they feel about being on hospice. I am so glad you are doing this channel! You said everything exactly right! I would always tell another nurse if I was training, I would use each visit as if it was my last visit. I would make each visit count. And after 18 years as a hospice nurse, I am pretty good. Nowhere near perfect, but I can still strive for perfection each visit.

[@hospicenursejulie]

Oh wow!!! Thank you for saying this- seriously means ssooooo much coming from another hospice nurse

[@roselortega6758]

I don’t know how you can do what you do. Shows a special person.

[@doylejodi7502]

My Mom was afraid. I felt so helpless. Comforted her as best I could.

[@TheLusquared]

Thank you so much your videos. They help. My daughter died in March 2022 at age 35 from ovarian cancer. My grieving will never end, but it has abated. You help.

[@TanyaOsterman-hw9wv]

The purpose of love is to make permanent impermanent things. I am so sorry for your unimaginable loss.

[@kjmav10135]

I think of when Paul McCartney visited George Harrison when George was dying, and Paul said he just held George’s hand. So simple. The sign of a true friend.

[@NancyAyers-ek7eo]

Beautiful. Thanks!

[@EBikes420]

They were friends since they were teenagers

[@kjmav10135]

@@EBikes420 It must have been like losing a brother.

[@bernadettevelasco6323]

My only child, my son John, died in 2021, COVID related. I'm dealing with survivors guilt. Why him, not me? As I saw him lying on a gurney, a tube in his nose, and one in his mouth, I went into shock. The one saving grace was hearing the Chaplain that hearing is the last sense to go. So I told John over and over how much I loved him. I kissed his forehead and whispered that he'd be seeing gus grandparents soon so no fighting! Seeing the toe tag with his name and date made my whole body shake. It's real, not a horrible dream. He was my best friend and I do believe one day we will hug, laugh and maybe argue a bit. John rest in peace. I will love you forever! Mom

[@EBikes420]

@@bernadettevelasco6323 My Heart goes out to you ❤️‍🩹

[@jojo1234a]

Here’s one of my dying/death faux pas. It was my first non nursing related experience of death, it was my dear 90 year old grandmother. We were incredibly close in life, and me and her whole family were with her holding a bedside vigil of sorts for 5 days and 5 nights (throughout her active dying phase). We had all talked to her though she wasn’t responding, thanking her for loving us and chatting about old times, we were chatting with each other and just making the hospital room cosy and normal. I’d sang her some of her favorite songs, etc etc you get the idea. So about 2 days before she died, I kissed her forehead and said “it’s ok Nan, you can let go now, it’s time to go”. THE LOOK SHE GAVE ME!!! Prior to this her face had been relaxed, soft and no pain, no responses to anything around her. She looked at me with a mixture of confusion and also ‘who the heck are you to tell me when to go’ 😂😂. God bless her. She was such a loving woman in life, would have given the shirt off her back, though she had a sharp tongue if needed particularly if someone was upsetting her family. So, while this may not work for everyone, with my loved ones passing away, I’ve started to say “you are safe, we are here, we love you. Please know that all of your worldly things are taken care of here and we have it all in hand, so when you feel or see or smell or just know that beautiful place for you on the other side is near, I want you to know that if and when you wish to go, it’s safe to go.” Never will I tell someone when ‘I’ think it’s ok for them to go ever again, one last lesson from my awesome Nan bless her soul.

[@naefa]

Wise words I believe. @jojo1234a I dont believe I'd get any comfort from a person saying that I could let go now and that it was time to go. I had a similar experience being with a friend who was dying, and well meaning nuns speaking similar words to her. She may have hung on for a further 2 months to spite them the dear woman.

[@scharf74]

I didn’t know your Grandmother but i was very close to mine too. I hope anyone who would have those words in their mind, would see your comment. “It’s time to go” should never be told to someone actively dying. I got a sick feeling in my stomach reading that you said that. I hope that her nonverbal reprimand made her feel better. I would take your words to mean, Go ahead and pass, we've been here for days. I know you didn't mean that, but…gosh

[@jojo1234a]

@@scharf74 yes! Exactly that, precisely what you just said. I couldn’t have put it better myself. It was a real shame from my side, and as soon as I saw her eyes give me that loving yet stern and slightly confused glare, I apologised profusely to her and rectified my mistake, reminding her that we wanted to be with her and she wouldn’t be alone for all the loving family we had around. And we continued chatting to her about what a wonderful mother, grandmother, great and great great grandmother she has always been. We chatted to her and amongst ourselves around her, including her in the conversation, chuckling about wonderful funny memories, just keeping the atmosphere cool, calm and collected for her. I mean, seriously, who the heck am I to tell my own grandmother, who was many years my senior and therefore many years wiser, the same amazing woman who has taught me so many things in both emotional stability and general life skills such as cooking, knitting, mending clothes etc etc …. Who am I to tell HER that ‘I’ have decided she may now go. Gosh, the shame I feel in hindsight. I have grown, learned, and moved on from it, but I do find it ironically beautiful that she taught me that one last lesson. After I righted my wrongs to her, I sang her favourite songs to her (she always loved my singing voice), her whole body relaxed and she gently found the strength to lift an arm and stroke/play with my plaited hair, I had a plait to the side of my hair that day as it was easy and fast to do in order to hotfoot it to the hospital. I don’t know if she knew it was me, or was thinking back to her own long black plaited hair from when she was younger, but regardless, she was indeed at ease. I had been singing songs to her for a while, then had a chat/giggle with her (she was not replying of course, but that doesn’t mean we can’t involve them still) about how she is my biggest fan, and she is very patient for putting up with my awful singing voice, I said this with a chuckle. I said to her “I’ll get someone else to pop in and sit with you while I go to the toilet, goodness knows you deserve a break from putting up with me singing away to you”. And she used the very last of her energy to reach both arms up, hug me gently and say “more please”. Those were her last words and the last time she moved. I of course significantly delayed my trip to the toilet and carried on singing, stroking her beautiful soft skin and delicate beautiful hair. I sang all sorts to her. This is what relaxed her enough to enter that coma state from which she never did wake up from. I cringe at those words I had said to her, it was my first experience of death (at the time) outside of my nursing career, and I naively thought I knew how it would all go, I was very wrong, being with a loved one is incredibly different. My level of care and compassion for patients who were passing has and always will be given my very best, it’s the least they deserve, but I was humbled that day. One last lesson from our family matriarch, and one last set of beautiful moments and memories thereafter. I wanted to post my comment initially to point out to others that, while I cannot judge what their loved ones may or may not wish to hear, just think before you speak and learn from my huge oopsie. Bless her, though I have lost many more close to me since, I do miss her, though she had a long life and was very ready to go and reunite with her husband on the other side, this she had verbalised to me for some years prior to passing, even prior to early onset of dementia.

[@jojo1234a]

@@naefa precisely! In the emotions and the immense feelings of it all, it’s so important to speak easy to our loved ones and never talk “about” them as if they aren’t in the room. But, in the very same sense, just think of what words you are saying. I agree that I would probably not get comfort from those words either, to the best of my knowledge, and I dare say I might then hang on just to remind others who is in charge here. Thanks for noticing my comment, I am ashamed of it, but I say it in the hope that others might just be a little more careful before uttering such pretentious words to their actively dying loved ones. When my father passed in my arms in 2022, my words were very different, I had grown and learnt and I hope to always grow and learn. He passed, albeit far before his time, in his bed in the arms of me and my mother who was his wife of many many years, and the peace he felt at the very very end was clear to see. Preceding that though, it was pretty horrific, I have ptsd from it. However, at the end, he found and saw something so beautiful that I cannot even begin to describe his face to you. I’m afraid of the pain and I’m afraid to leave my own children behind, but I’m not afraid to die anymore. Whatever is on the other side of that unknown void is stunningly beautiful and peaceful, I saw his face, I know it to be his truth and also my truth. Sending love and blessings to all who are missing loved ones or are in the process of loosing loved ones. The universe takes as much as it gives, our time here is precious, but they do go on and so do we, this I know as my truth and I say it with pure sincerity from the varied experiences I have been blessed to attend. Sending my love to all.

[@naefa]

@@jojo1234a hi there, I was quite moved by reading your reply. You speak with wisdom and express yourself beautifully.

[@jenniferkerner6444]

Saying nothing really is powerful and meaningful. Nine-and-a-bit years ago, I saw a dear friend a few days before his death. He'd declined rapidly and was exhausted but also afraid and anxious. I was there for a couple hours, and I spent the bulk of that time just sitting with him, not saying a word, offering my hand to hold, humming a song that was meaningful to both of us. That was what he needed that day, someone to just occupy space with him. As I left he said, and this was such a lovely turn of phrase that I remember it word for word, "It means a lot that you were here." Everything I've ever done for a living boils down to "talk and/or write," and that couple hours of very few words is one of my most cherished memories. Sad, yes, because it was the last time I saw my wonderful friend - but also beautiful because I'd like to think we eased each other's way that day.

[@ablanccanvas]

Beautifully expressed. Thank you for sharing this very personal experience. 😌♥️

[@JenniSilver]

I had a living wake a few weeks ago. Being honest and sharing what we wanted to say with each other was precious for both my guests and I.

[@FreedomofSpeech865]

Never heard of this before but what a lovely idea ❤

[@denisekassal5949]

They are incredibly brave and selfless to the final breath. Healing to visitors of this living wake.

[@THEMamaVicky]

I'm having a rough day, so this came at a perfect time. In facing this, fear of dying is the one thing I don't have, oddly. I am afraid of, and am dealing with the pain and suffering involved. If I medicate more, which is allowed, I won't experience my last few months fully. That's my fear, missing out just so I am not as uncomfortable. Your video just made me realize I need to discuss this with my dr.

[@hospicenursejulie]

Thanks you mama Vicky- I'm so sorry you're having a rough day- thank you for being here. I hope it goes well talking to your doctor

[@Cognitoman]

How come your dying ?

[@THEMamaVicky]

@@Cognitoman heart failure

[@Cognitoman]

@@THEMamaVicky sorry to hear that. Can you get a transplant ?

[@YOUARESOFT.]

this life is short and practically NOTHING compared to where we are going. study NDE's and listen to testimonies of the glory that is ahead please, do not be scared.

[@Jewriffic]

I appreciate your videos very much. I was in university in the 70s when Dr Kubler-Ross broke the silence by talking about death and dying. My thesis was a cover for her work which was just being released. Now, we are advanced to being comfortable about talking about NDEs. This generation should be grateful for Dr Kubler-Ross and YOU. Dr Kubbler-Ross' work was from the patient's perspective. You add help to the bystanders (family, etc.), and that is so wonderful. Bless you, for all you do. If you can only say "I don't know" and it is possible, maybe add "....whatever happens I will be here with you."

[@TheInnerPact]

I’d say “we don’t know” because presumably both are alive and everyone can die at any moment. 🙏

[@mightymissk]

"There is something about saying your truth that lessens the grip of fear." Well said.

[@kenduke3482]

Palliative care nurse, this is a gift you have been given. Who gave you this gift ? If someone is dying and needs love care and understanding, who cares who gave you this beautiful gift. Keep doing what you feel is right . X

[@sixteezchild]

I have always been afraid of death. Then again, God reached out to me and said something like, "Here child, let me show you"! He gave me 4 years of a caregiving privilege with the person who had given birth to me and loved me my entire life. The last 6 months were the hardest, but we had had many talks about her family and she was looking forward to reuniting with all of them. I'm hoping that when I reach that point, if it's not a horrific accident, I hope that I will be at peace and ready to see my mama again!

[@hospicenursejulie]

Thank you for caring for your mom- it's one of the greatest acts of love

[@sixteezchild]

Julie...I felt like we had both gone full circle! I wouldn't have done it any different! ❤️

[@Outsider4JC]

Just want to remind you about the most most important decision we need to make before we die, and that is to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. My father just passed, and wasnt able to pass this on to him in time. I just wanted to let you know a little about what the bible says. For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. So no one is good enough to get to heaven due to the law of the 10 commandments. Bible also says, its not by works should any one boast. So being a good person does not get you to heaven either. The only way to heaven is by repenting of your sins, and putting your faith in Jesus. Bible says, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So you see, there is a need for salvation to get to heaven, that is why Jesus died on the cross. He took all of our sins upon him, so that if we call upon him, and accept Him into our Heart, we can have eternal life. We must be Born Again to enter the kingdom of God. You do not get there being a good person, or doing good deeds. Jesus also says, that I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes unto the father, except through me. So please make that decision, so that you can have peace and comfort when your time is up. Its the most important decision of your life. you can then have that eternal peace and assurance before you die. All you you need to do is simply, humble your heart and pray with faith, I repent of my sins, and I turn to You. You said in Your word that if we confess with our mouth, and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved. I ask You Father to forgive me of all my sins, and ask You to fill me with the Holy Spirit, and take control of my life. Its the most important decision of anyone's life. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Please believe me, and research for yourself. Once its over, there is no turning back. Jesus cares for you, and does not wish for you to be separated from him. So many people think that being a good person gets you there, and its simply not true, so please don't ignore. Today is the day of salvation. He loves you, and does wish for anyone to be apart from Him, but to have eternal life in heaven. Be blessed. Im praying for you. Please ask Jesus to come into your heart my friend.

[@sixteezchild]

@@Outsider4JC thank you for this and yes please continue to spread the message! My mother and I got our affairs with God taken care of and there's no doubt she is sporting some of the most beautiful wings. For me...I have horrible anxiety and worse with approaching older age and hormone issues. I have no doubt that when my time comes, I will be happy to go!

[@khopkins104]

@@Outsider4JC 🙏🏽 AMEN to that!

[@deniseroe5891]

When my husband passed last month, during Thursday night Football, he was where he wanted to be. Brought him home on Monday, Dec 4th and kept the NFL channel on for him. He was non verbal for the most part, other than yelling at the dogs to stop barking.😊. I talked to him, told him that I loved him and I would be alright. Our son came and talked with him, don’t know what was said as he ask me to leave the room. With in 4 hours he was in the arms of Jesus. I still cry at the drop of a hat, but knowing where he is now, and that I did all I could for him gives me some consolation. I honored our marriage vows taken 44 years ago, now I am trying to come to grips with being a widow at 63. I am not afraid of dying, just afraid of the pain that may be involved.

[@insertmetalusernamehere]

The part that worries me the most is leaving my kids behind. I just hit 40 and my kids are still young and it’s starting to worry me. I’m not afraid to die because I know what happens next but I can’t leave these little boogers. I pray everyday for the lord to keep me here as long as possible.

[@SomeOne-mp6ym]

Thanks so much Julie! You are making a huge difference in people's lives!!!

[@tgchism]

I had a a friend that I knew through work who was dying from cancer. He called me to literally say good bye. We spoke a little bit about what he was going through and his concerns. At one point he said that he just hoped he had made a difference in his life. I could tell he was tearing up thinking about it. I responded yes, you have made a difference! He asked do you really think so? To which I replied, I know so. This was a very truthful statement because he was one of the kindest men I had ever known. I really think me telling him that put him at ease. He said I love you guys, to wish I replied , we love you too! His funeral was probably the most attended that I had ever been to. It was standing room only in the back of the chapel. Several people went up and talked in front of the group to praise the man and how he had touched their lives! It was really a celebration of his life!

[@royboy4213]

I took care of my brother, a dying Vietnam veteran from Agent Orange related cancer and illness. He had no fear, but we had the conversation of where his soul was going for the things he did in war. And I listened and then reassured him that our Grandma, who we considered our "Guardian Angel," was going to take care of him. I couldn't let him see me, but I melted down for days. It will be 10 years in September since he died.

[@davidspaulding9811]

Another great video Julie. I was asking this myself before my mother died, however, she wasn't actively dying. She died after heart surgery just after getting out of the ICU. I had a feeling she wasn't going to make it through the surgery, so a few weeks before the surgery, I flew to her and visited her during a weekend I was able to get off work. You're right, it was very awkward and uncomfortable for me to just talk to her. The only regret I have is me not being able to get the courage to talk to her earlier and say more that weekend. However, I was able tell her what I wanted to say. She was the most supportive parent in my life and she helped me in so many ways to get me the life I can't thank enough for. So I told her that. I told her that I am very thankful for all that she provided me, the shelter she gave me, the love to help me, the wisdom to guide me, everything I am is a big piece of her. I wanted her to know that being fully conscious and aware of what I was saying before the gravity of the situation really hit and may not fully understand me while unconscious. She looked at me and was touched. I'll never forget what she said. She said, "when I die, you don't need to worry about me. I'll be okay. When I die....I die." After that I asked her all I could before my ride back to the airport showed up. We talked about her feelings regarding memorial service, what to do with her body, lots of things. I think you're right. Most people do want to here about those things and that the awkwardness is just something of a farce and not to worry about. I guess it shows them how much you really love them and care and want to make sure they know before their life is over. My mother died at 2am from a blood clot in her lungs. She was resuscitated four times but she wouldn't stay. She was 71. I miss you, Mom. I really hope you're okay. My point is, I am so grateful I was able to say these things to her. It really helped me through the grief a bit, since I sort of had a feeling this was coming. I really can't say if my siblings took the same initiative or not but at least I know she left this world knowing how grateful I am and how her memory will be with me until my time comes.

[@yayah1749]

You did good ❤️ what a lovely son you are. My condolences .

[@kimyoung3484]

❤❤❤❤

[@INFJason]

I’m not a hospice nurse, but I work on a telemetry unit and I’ve cared for lots of terminal patients. Holding their hand, listening, crying, and just being authentic really helps them through.

[@BuckTravis]

Julie, thanks for this vid. I recently went through this very situation with my mother. She was 93 and her health was failing. 12 years ago I had a heart attack and died. Lucky for me I was in an ER surrounded by medical professionals including a cardiologist. They brought me back to life. I was able to recall my death experience and have shared it with very few others. I told my mother that there a was nothing to fear, all pain was gone. There was no guilt, remorse or negative experience. I was extremely comfortable. I saw everyone in the ER from above in detail. No pain, no fear. I was where I had always been. My mother passed and here inn this life she gave me I pray she was comforted as she passed.

[@ckmntaz]

I just lost my brother on 12-28-23 . I stayed with him 15 hrs. Straight til he passed. We all just told him we would stay by his side. The giving him morphine every two hours was so uncomfortable to me! I think he died peacefully as far as I could tell. 😭I miss him, but know he is in a better place.

[@eric2394]

What is morphine

[@maddybertani8161]

Love to you. That must have been so hard to get through. 💗

[@luanngordon8639]

So sorry for your loss.

[@ckmntaz]

@@luanngordon8639 Thank You very much Luann!!! Blessings from my family in Arizona 👋❤❤❤

[@ckmntaz]

@@maddybertani8161 Thank You very much Maddy!!! Thank you all so much for your kind words! Yes it was hard Maddy, but I made it through it! Thank you!!!😍

[@johnlopez9939]

A good friend of mine had cancer and knew he was going to die but had a great attitude about it. Cancer doc gave him 3 months. 3 months later he was still here and went back to the doc and made a joke about it. This went on for over 2 years before it got him. He accepted it better than I could have. Weirdest conversation of my life was in the second 3 month diagnoses. We met at a bar and had a couple beers, then he told me he wanted me to be one of his pallbearers.

[@mattdonna9677]

I would consider it an honor to be asked, good friends are rare.

[@johnlopez9939]

@@mattdonna9677 It was a great honor. Friends like him are very rare, at least for me.

[@kenodom8135]

I have multiple serious medical conditions and I’m receiving palliative care. I am not the least bit afraid to die because I will be in the arms of my savior Jesus, finally. I would ask all of you to consider seeking God. Hang in there

[@maryklassen8495]

I am so tired of all the evil in this world. I don't know how much more time god is going to give me here, I just pray that I can come home to the place❤ That jesus has prepared for me in his father's house.

[@andrewthiessen9731]

I am very blessed to have had an NDE. I did die and I did see the other side, so when my Mom asked this question - yes - listening is the best to understand when they are coming from. Once the dialogue starts, having the conversation and engaging and having an open conversation is the best. There is quite a bit of fear out there and that is ok. We are all humans and for our entire life, the question of death and what happens is something we have faced our entire lives. Just as Nurse Julie says - just being there matters. Your physical presence helps bring ease. I am blessed and lucky... I was able to share what I experienced. I saw creation... loved ones. People. It was amazing. I could go on and on. I had the hospice nurse in tears sharing and giving and had a unique perspective that most do not have. I worked with my hospice nurse on what I could do and how I could support them. ... and yes... you will close your eyes and yes, you will wake up and see creation and a profound, intense love that you have never experienced. So much more... no matter your faith, religion, beliefs. It is going to be incredible. There is life after death...

[@lindabenny4454]

Excellent as always Julie. I was a nurse & always found patients most of the time need someone to listen. Sometimes family just want to stay away from the subject & the patient just finds it helpful that they can talk & not always be given advice.

[@pcs9518]

As a pediatric cancer survivor who is now suffering from sudden onset of CHF with a EF output of 15% as a result of the treatment in the 80’s I was fortunate to learn at an early age that life is short and to live everyday to its fullest as tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. I’ve always looked at it as we started dying from the day we were born and to take nothing for granted. I’d love to live forever but that’s not realistic, but I’ve lived the best I could, I make everyone laugh I’ve always been the comedian in the room and I’ve done everything I wanted to do and I have no regrets and I don’t stress over things I cannot control it is what it is. I’ve always been kind to strangers and help when I could for people I didn’t know, I can talk to strangers for hours and end up making a friend something that always got me in trouble at work 😂. I honestly wish more people could have this kind of peace and to live happily without regrets.

[@juliewagz3020]

@@pcs9518 i have so many regrets

[@sherylbartlett3871]

Julie - what a wonderful response....no response, until they have finished with what they wanted to say!

[@jmalloy2202]

When my late mother realised she was going to die, I noticed in her, she shut herself away, and I said to my mum, it’s okay to talk to me about anything, I’m your son, but she couldn’t feel she could open up. so I tried to make my mum final times with positive mess and kept her days pretty much routine, reading newspapers, sharing news with what’s going on in the world, making videos to take in to the hospice for her to watch, the connection with home and familiar things with home that she still feel connected to.. even bringing cups and bowls from home she could drink and eat out of rather than use the cups and bowls the hospice supplied.. I wanted my mum still feel close to her home.

[@chessiepique9532]

That is so thoughtful. One of those small things that bring comfort.

[@crystalmeier6579]

I love how you said 'i let them talk and just listen'. Im a grief counselor who listens atleast 75% of the time and speaks only when needed.

[@ablanccanvas]

After watching your video + reading many comments, I feel that ‘yes’ death + dying can be an awkward process. And that most of us don’t like to experience awkwardness/the unknown is really not surprising. It is blatantly unrealistic to think, within our lifetime, that we will not need to deal with the experience of death + dying. We just will. The closer we can come to opening ourselves up to the awkwardness, the uncomfortableness and explore our feelings around it, the better. For everyone. We are going to feel loss in our lifetime. It’s isn’t to be glossed over, forgotten or shunned. It is a part of the journey of life. It can cause pain. The real ‘loss’ though can come when we don’t appreciate all the small + insignificant pieces that add up to be our life. A fulfilling life. Love now. Appreciate now. Awkward + uncomfortable. It will all come + go. Thank you Julie. I love you and the wisdom you bring, all of it, to this life. 😌♥️🌟

[@kcj6236]

I wanted to take a second to thank you for this channel. My cousin, whom I was very close to, passed away yesterday from end stage liver and kidney disease. He was in hospice care for only 30 minutes. I was with him until the end. If I hadn't discovered your channel months ago (before we knew he was sick), I wouldn't have been prepared and his death would have been scary for me to witness. It was very peaceful, and I found comfort in knowing what his body was going through. The work you do for hospice patients and this channel is so very important. Keep it up!

[@sandrabeck8788]

I absolutely believe pets have souls. And in an after-existence. It is somewhat of a comfort. I also believe that even though a loved one looks like they are unconscious they can hear and understand what people say, music playing, someone reading to them etc.

[@Sampson2833]

I simply want to thank you. Your channel is SO important. Your chosen specialty is SO important. A colleague/friend of my who live with stage 4 breast cancer for 10+ years passed earlier this week. I am so grateful that she had hospice care at the end of her life. Your messages in these videos is so important, not just in the understanding of what the act of dying looks like, but also in the understanding that it is 100% ok to say ‘we dont know’, or I’d be scared too, and to just be present for our loved ones who are dying. Thank you HNJ, thank you.

[@CM-kl9qh]

Before my aunt passed I got the chance to thank her for showing me Dog Tooth Violets along a canal towpath when I was five. That small thing has directed a large part of my avocation for the out of doors, though I didn’t realize it until decades later.

[@jonathankranz2799]

This may be the most important video I've ever seen on KZbin. Seriously. We all need to learn this. Thank you!

[@amb7440]

Not only do I appreciate the things you teach and help all prepare to be kind, supportive and gracious to our loved ones, it's so wonderful to see that you come home from a challenging day (probably more than most) and slip into your comfy grey trackpants just like all the rest of us. 👍🙃

[@paultheplantparent2702]

What you do is amazing!!! Thank you for helping these people as they go through this transition. ❤

[@susannacasagrande6468]

Dear Julie, my mother died at Christmas at the age of 90 in a hospice... Your videos and all the information you have shared about dying helped me a lot to elaborate her (sudden) death. I just wanted to say thank you. God bless You. 👑💛🌹

[@jm7804]

Bless your heart. I hope that the pain of loss gives way to pleasant memories of better times very soon.

[@endlichhoffnung6114]

„There is something about speaking your truth that really lessens the grip of fear.“ - WOW: Most powerful sentence I‘ve heard in a long time! 👏

[@chessiepique9532]

Agree

[@JudyCerda]

I think it's important to say something to make them feel unafraid such as telling them they will be with loved ones who have passed before them or that they will be Heaven, whatever beliefs you may have. Offering some comforting words is something I think is important.

[@Outsider4JC]

Just want to remind you about the most most important decision we need to make before we die, and that is to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. My father just passed, and wasnt able to pass this on to him in time. I just wanted to let you know a little about what the bible says. For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. So no one is good enough to get to heaven due to the law of the 10 commandments. Bible also says, its not by works should any one boast. So being a good person does not get you to heaven either. The only way to heaven is by repenting of your sins, and putting your faith in Jesus. Bible says, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So you see, there is a need for salvation to get to heaven, that is why Jesus died on the cross. He took all of our sins upon him, so that if we call upon him, and accept Him into our Heart, we can have eternal life. We must be Born Again to enter the kingdom of God. You do not get there being a good person, or doing good deeds. Jesus also says, that I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes unto the father, except through me. So please make that decision, so that you can have peace and comfort when your time is up. Its the most important decision of your life. you can then have that eternal peace and assurance before you die. All you have to do is humble your heart and say, Jesus, i believe you died and rose again, I repent of my sins, I ask you to come into my life, be my Lord and savior, I give you control. From this day forward, I want to live for you. Its the most important decision of anyone's life. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Please believe me, and research for yourself. Once its over, there is no turning back. Jesus cares for you, and does not wish for you to be separated from him. So many people think that being a good person gets you there, and its simply not true, so please don't ignore. Today is the day of salvation. He loves you, and does wish for anyone to be apart from Him, but to have eternal life in heaven. Be blessed. Im praying for you. Please ask Jesus to come into your heart my friend.

[@dogegamer3288]

The best thing we can do is offer this to the living. The ONLY lasting hope anyone has is this; John 3:16-18 "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life."-Jesus(God)

[@jackiesmithsmetaldetecting]

My Mum is activley dying right now, she is on morphine etc, but she has been sleeping in a comfy chair in the dining room ( because staff sit there all night she should be on bed rest but they can not force her to) she is afraid to die too it is horrible watching it. If she were a pet they would not allow the distress she is going through.

[@SomeOne-mp6ym]

I'm sorry..that must be so hard.😢

[@michellehagan5784]

Prayers for your mum. I just went through this in May 2023 My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

[@LoveyBuggs]

I’m there with my mom too. It’s so sad. Prayers for everyone ❤

[@curtiscriscoe367]

My mom dying was the absolute worst thing that has ever happened. I wish you the very best

[@Yo_Gma]

I lost my Mom 6 years ago. And my heart goes out to each of you. She was brave. I was and am terrified. I just hope I have my family there with me. I'm glad you are there with her now. And I pray you feel comfort and peace in the end.

[@catherine4159]

You are such an amazing, insightful and thoughtful person. The peaceful part of passing you have helped facilitate to so many people is heartwarming. We definitely need more thoughtful and well trained folks like yourself for end of life care. The healthcare system of late seems to be suffering with lack of staff overall. Hopefully, that will change. Stay well and rested yourself Julie, we need you. Thank you for all you do.

[@rtt3166]

You’re really good at your job. Thank you.

[@lucybrowne62]

When I was 14 I died while getting my stomach pumped at the ED. I can remember walking down a tunnel or lane and then meeting people at the end, it was as though I could also see what was going on in my bed and with the staff. This was in the 80s and I recall about 20 years later watching a show about NDE and others had had the same experience!

[@marritjansen3542]

Did this experience change you?

[@EmilyTienne]

Respectfully, you didn’t really die. The truly dead don’t come back.

[@DaveBoswell-lz3kc]

Not necessarily Nikki Sixx of the band Motley Crue had a NDE in December, 1987 he was pronounced dead for about 45 minutes after a heroin OD he didn't see any tunnel of light or angels nor demons but he witnessed his body on a stretcher being placed in an ambulance and being surrounded by fans weeping over his death and then he was revived at the hospital and he was dead for a short period of time.

[@EmilyTienne]

@@DaveBoswell-lz3kc To be dead is to cease producing electrical activity in the brain. When this occurs, one is truly dead, and there is zero chance of returning to life. People are occasionally pronounced dead because breathing and heart function ceases. This is not death.

[@ginabizzarosghosts7831]

Hi 😊 Im so glad i found your channel. I have mastatized stage 4 colon cancer. My oncologist gave me 6 months in December. But its really up to God. I totally get the fear of "not existing" anymore. I truly believe that's how God wired our brains- we are meant to live forever and death in the flesh is the beginning of the life that matters, with God in heaven. No more death or pain or sadness or worry..and we get to reunite with loved ones! I truly believe our fear of not existing is completely normal since we're designed to live forever. Jesus made a way for us by His sacrifice on the cross out of the purest love. ❤ I hope this comment reaches someone. We arent bodies with souls, we're souls with temporary bodies. God bless! ❤

[@NancyAyers-ek7eo]

As long as I rejoin Francine Mewsette, (my cat who was my 4th daughter!) Francy, I miss you so much! 🐱❤

[@christinacyr]

Amen, Jesus is waiting for us with open arms. Death is the beginning of eternal happiness for those who love and obey Him ❤🙏👣😇

[@michaelwright1467]

Stay faithful and strong. The Lord is with you all of the way.

[@e.1766]

Hi Gina❤️. Thank you so much for posting. I have stage 1 intestinal cancer, & really really appreciated hearing from you. I hope you're doing ok, & feeling as comfortable as possible ❤️

[@SonjaHand]

🙏🙏🙏 ❤❤❤

[@JLS788]

I spent some time in a Buddhist temple in New York, and I always remember what the monk told his father as his father was sick and said “I’m afraid to die, what will it feel like?”. The monk said, “you’re going to do the same thing you’re doing right now.” Just being, existing, feeling. I think the dying must fear it will feel like something sudden and startling, like a great fall or crash. I can’t say for certain, but I imagine if you reach the natural dying stages, you’ll simply be sitting or laying wherever you are, gently slip into unconsciousness and that will be all you feel. And the best you can do is make them comfortable for that gentle transition.

[@Homesteadhottie101]

As a Christian you either go to heaven with Jesus or hell. Every individual goes to one of those places. Every body has a spirit and it goes somewhere.

[@edithp.7213]

When I was very small and first became aware that all life ended in death I told my dad that I was afraid to die. His answer took away all my fears and has sustained me ever since. He said “do you remember what it was like before you were born?” I said “no”. He said “well, that’s how it’s going to be after you’re done with living. You won’t feel fear or be aware of anything…..you simply won’t be anymore.” I’ve never bought into the idea of an afterlife. It’s an illusion as far as I’m concerned but if people want to comfort themselves with that it’s fine with me. I love what you’re doing Julie because the dying process is what can be scary to me, not what lies on the other side.

[@joycehancock3063]

But what if you are wrong?

[@ablanccanvas]

I think your Dad was very wise in what he said. It is the “great unknown” whichever way you cut it. Yes, unknown. 😌♥️

[@india1422]

I've thought a lot about this very thing. And honestly it gets me more. That I'm going to be dead and not know.

[@vickieyoung7122]

I don't want to cease to exist..but it's the dying that's terrifying...once your dead you will never be aware of it...your father was wise in his analogy

[@Lucius1958]

"I was dead for millions of years before I was born, and I never felt the slightest inconvenience from it.'" - Mark Twain

[@musicgirl8152]

Thank you for all of your videos about dying and your experiences. I like your advice to be honest and to just listen. My in-laws were both in their early nineties, married over 60+ years, they passed 11 months apart in a hospital setting. We had a fabulous hospice nurse and amazing, comforting care before and after. You help make such a difficult time understandable. ❤❤❤❤

[@letthesunshinethru2355]

Wow, such a valuable video, not just for hospice but for many circumstances in life. Thank you.

[@kaidanariko]

A month after my husband and I got married we got the call his grandmother went in to get checked for a chest cold and found she was end of life with cancer that metastasized everywhere but the lungs were worst. She was given 3 days. We drove up to her every day first thing in the morning and sat with her. My husband was very uncomfortable but I’d been through this before with all of my grandparents so I just sat next to her and crochet. I’d occasionally take a few pictures of family with her or holding her hand. I helped some of the more distraught family care for her, roll her once she wasn’t conscious, to prevent further pain (she was grimacing) and helped them remember what meds etc. at the time my husband said I was trying too hard. And he didn’t want any of the pictures etc because he’d never want to remember this. And I told him I’m not disrespecting your choice. But I will take these photos and put them on a disk and put it away and once you’re through the grieving and have a more sound grip on the changes if you don’t want them we’ll erase them. He now cherishes those photos. Pictures of him holding her hand, pictures of him kissing her hand and tucking her in. Photos of the family sitting with her on the bed and singing or brushing her hair. None of the photos were disrespectful in any means but he’s very glad to have them now. Sometimes even just being present is all that is needed not just for the dying person, but the grieving people around them. FWIW his family hates me now for unrelated issues, but at least we got to have her at our wedding, and say goodbye to her.

[@chipdayton1625]

This is a master class in how to deal with eol situations. And also just about any situation. Be honest, be real, speak from your heart. At 69, I'm just starting to learn this. Thank you Julie!

[@brookemahanes]

The compassion and integrity and truth and care you bring is truly remarkable and so full of heart. I wish I had your videos when my Granny died during Covid times of cancer. Thank you for what you do and your lovely videos❤❤❤❤❤

[@joysteinkraus7947]

Julie, I joined your channel because my husband had a terminal disease. He passed in October after 5 years of fighting. He looked at me and said “I am not afraid when we decided to have hospice intervene. Then the wonderful hospice team started the drugs and he went into unconsciousness. I was so thankful for the hospice team . They gave us time to bring in our twin grandsons and my husband said again before the drugs were started please take care of yourself and each other. What a gift he gave us. It was an honor to sit beside him and be there as he took his last breath, hard but an honor.

[@BBlair-if8tj]

Thank you for sharing this. So beautifully put…the duality.

[@tommunyon2874]

I just had a big ugly cry over my life's partner who died last April. He had served as a home hospice Chaplain for 10 years and was quite accepting of his death. I ,on the other hand, still can't come to grips with his absence from my life. Our last conversation was quite normal. He called me from his house, as I was laid up in rehab recovering from a broken hip. My wife had died five years earlier in the same facility where I was recovering. Her death had a gradual onset, and many of her children and grandchildren were present.

[@chessiepique9532]

The thing about grief is that it is love that no longer has a place to go. Hugs from this stranger, if you care to accept them.

[@ediesvideos3095]

It hasn't been very long since you lost your partner, so still feeling the rawness of your grief is quite normal. But hang in there -- there will come a time in the not too distant future when joy will be back in your life again.

[@cindybleau2571]

When my mom who was cronicaly ill and I went to her Dr she didn’t want me to go in with her. So after she was done and we’re walking out to the car ( I was a CNA) she told me she was dying then said I’m afraid to die. I’m trying to process what she told me and not lose it keep it together be strong. I listened hugged her told her I’m here for you I did also say I’m sorry mom I love you. Let me say this was so hard to keep my emotions in check. I mean your mom is the one you always go to for help I am glad that I was able to be there for her. We lost seven years ago I miss her every day!!

[@lisaeckstein2922]

My husband's grandma was dying. My husband, his cousin and me were in the room with her. She kept jumping a little and sounded startled. I asked grandma what was wrong. She said she was falling. I held her hand and told her that Mark, Shaun and I were there and we wouldn't let her fall. I was happy to let her know that I felt her reality, too. It calmed her so much. She then was able to sleep peacefully. She passed a few hours later.

[@pamela5568]

Yes, my mom was in a coma in icu and I read books to her, because she loved reading. I can only hope she heard me, but it did give me some peace.

[@Mezzie1957]

You are a special kind of person to help the dying and their families cope with the inevitable. We all will face one day, but for you to see it day in and day out is extraordinary.

[@rosewalters3332]

Thank you Julie. You are wonderful and an inspiration to many. Thank you for caring❤

[@susankachmar6212]

It was 1989, and my mother-in-law who had suffered from breast cancer was hospitalized shortly before her death. I wish you had been there. Because we had a nurse that was not as enlightened as you. My mother-in-law said to me “Susan, am I going to die?” And before I could answer or even think about how to respond, a nurse walked in and said “Honey, we’re all gonna die.”! That nurse stole this deeply tender moment from me and my mother-in-law and the wonderfully conversation we might have had. To this day, it still brings me to tears. We lived in two different states about 1000 miles apart, so this was the last time I saw her alive. Thank you for this video.

[@andonedave]

20 years a hospice nurse and chaplain. Without question, the patients with a strong religious background do the best dealing with death. The most peaceful and even joyful patients end up being those sold out for God. These are the patients that minister to us Hospice workers in the way they handle death with such grace and joy. Dave RN, Chaplain

[@lavenderhearts101]

I read about that in the book, the grace and dying by Katherine Singh. That the ones who have the easiest time dying are the ones who are religious or spiritual. They tend to have very peaceful deaths.

[@JoneOfBark]

My friends and family don't like talking about things like this, but it has been really freeing for me. I have watched my mother die from breast cancer and Nan from complications related to dementia. I do not want to die a slow painful death, I have told my family what my wishes are so when it becomes my time someday, I don't want to be scared and I want them to be as prepared as they can be.

[@N_Ides]

Perfect approach. Listening, normalizing and validating are great. Psychotherapist do something similar and the clients get comforted.

[@samarkham3]

I was with my son dying of cancer. he said it hurt so bad to die, I hugged him and told him it was time to go, and he did. The hardest thing I did.

[@mightyduck4004]

When a Christian asks, you may rely on 2nd Corinthians 5:8. The Apositle Paul says, 'We are confident, yes, well pleased rether to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord'. Also Phillipians 1:23 'I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far. Never the less, to remain in the flesh is better for you'. The Peace of the Lord be upon you.

[@cindyingram4072]

And if they aren't?

[@B_Rh_Neg]

I was only 18 yrs old when my aunt whom was like a 2nd mom to me was end stage lung cancer and I’ll never forget the care and compassion fr the hospice nurse , my aunt wanted to die at home on her own terms lol and she did , she told us my time is coming soon and the look of peace on her face was unbelievable, she was seeing her parents my grandparents talking to her dad mostly and we were like aunt Carol pls tell them we miss them too and she’s giggle , death doesn’t have to be scary with the right help and amazing ppl like you it helped me tremendously to deal with losing her and accepting it. Course she waited till we were all in the kitchen and finished supper she passed peacefully at 6:01pm. I was with my father as well when he was taking off life support 7 years ago my sister and I never left his side till his last breath.

[@AnnJ.-rw5wm]

My dad made it easy for me. He asked me to explain the gospel to him in it's simplicity. I couldn't be more grateful. ❤️

[@shirleygiordano7627]

Thank you. ❤️ I've been losing a lot of loved ones. This truly helped. Sending to everyone. I appreciate this. -Shirley and Skittles Marie 🐱 🐈

[@jamesgilmour8794]

I never understood the need to be by someones side untill i had to with my twin brother who died at 28 of cancer. The one thing that that comforts me is the final thing i could do is be there, hold his hand and talk to him as he passed. ❤

[@sarapanzarella97]

What is great about your advice? I can imagine someone saying this in any time. You are giving this great advice real time in hot pink 😁 but you could be saying this a century ago or a thousand years ago and it would still be relevant. You are bringing comfort to so many. ❤

[@hospicenursejulie]

💗💗💗💗💗🥰🥹

[@BrilliantAtTimes]

I can tell you are a WONDERFUL hospice nurse and a comfort to your patients.

[@autoadjuster]

I am not afraid of dying as much as I fear loosing the ability to care for myself. Loosing independence, walking, putting on cloths cooking and eating myself. That is my fear.

[@vmobile890]

Same here at 70 I feel greatest thing I can do is improve my health and stop stressing about my clutter to leave for my family . My mother and father active until last few years in their 90’s I’m now starting a new life for the next 20 years retired .

[@wheatORweed]

Yes, especially since I live alone and in a different state from my daughter and brother. I am concerned about falling down the stairs and no one knowing I’m injured or dead for days/weeks.

[@sogal4christ]

I think this is one of the most helpful sessions you have given. Thank you

[@bmwbob51]

When my aunt was in hospice I wrote down all the thing we had in common while growing up and went over them together!

Having lost my dad some years ago, I feel,that my outlook on life has changed forever. I felt guilty for not being able to save him after all the years he had looked after me when I was a child. I'm now aware of my own mortality. 🇬🇧

[@deborahfairbanks4012]

I never told my ex husband that I loved him I'm sorry that I didn't. I was more concerned with not saying things that might have caused him regret. He knew he was dying. I just offered my presence. He in turn, gave me so much more than I could have given him.

[@Frediam7777]

Hello good morning Deborah how are you doing I’m Fred from Minnesota 😇🙏🏼

[@lydiakhai9977]

Today is my 1 year anniversary of working as a home health and hospice social worker. It has been the best decision I've made. I love it ❤

[@lreppy10]

This is truly wonderful advice. Thank you! 💞