Patrick Kielty on Airlines and Suicide Bombers

[@gypwin]

patrick was very kind about my song 'get-up and go' on his radio 2 show..many thanks for that,patrick.

[@mikelheron20]

Absolutely brilliant Dustin Hoffman impression.

[@Rainb0wGirl]

why dont u stop watching him instead?

[@Humanshieldchorus00]

There is a lot more anger in his stand up than i expected there to be. It's good though. Good man paddy

[@xdan86x]

Pat is funny as fuck lol

[@jkshergill]

Hahaha, he's hilarious! I saw him last night on the repeat's of Live At The Appollo and some of the jokes he said there were repeated but they class! You gotta love the Irish!

[@spudule]

awesome full stop.

[@MrGliggett]

He's fucking hilarious

[@StevenBiggerstaff]

Brilliant

[@spudule]

he's awesome on the 2 comedy roadshow episodes (it's on BBC)

[@RenosEMR]

I think I have to agree, it's about the sense of humour level. I think he's funny too.

[@irenemax3574]

Dungannon Man is spot on!

[@stevesomeone486]

he sometimes isn't funny but unlike some ball less comedian he speaks his mind and uses the loss in his life to try and make us laugh you don't like him then don't watch , simple

[@Rokuns]

Killing is what you do for getting food to survive, that is killing. Murder is taking a life for anything other then defending oneself or for sustenance and clothing.

[@andyboreland]

Heaven, if you choose to accept it.

[@Tehgoat]

@LsSugarAddiction Dead Act, I used to watch Paddy in the Empire Belfast back in the 90's where he was hilarious but this material is too tame ......even the Curse words sound out of place.

[@TheChairsniffer]

Patrick Kielty. The man who makes Bobby Davro look like Richard Pryor

[@andyboreland]

By my Gods standards no one deserves heaven. But God freely gives it to anyone who is sorry for their sins, and trusts on Jesus.

[@andyboreland]

Yes to the first part. And God made you, God is all knowing (He knows more than you and me). Listen this is turning into a battle and neither of us are getting anywhere. I am praying for you. I just hope you won't be too stubborn. There are no athiests in hell.

[@andyboreland]

Well thats up to you. I dont know where you are getting this from, slavery etc. But where you spend eternity is your decision. I wouldnt be too confident of knowing everyone down there.

[@Einarisak]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! All i need to say! :D

[@JordoF6]

@SwooshSherbert hes funny and awesome.

[@kdoyle84]

Whos barbara???

[@227007]

lmao i fly on easy jet cause even the planes are orange hahaha

[@andyboreland]

Give me the best 3 'injustices' then. I am not afraid that there will be nothing when I die. I trust on Jesus Christ, I know where I am going so I am not scared of death any more than anyone else is.

[@andyboreland]

What do you mean by your first sentence? Why would I need to change!? You have given no liable evidence for me to change.

[@andyboreland]

@MisterTwoPiece I'm not religious.

[@andyboreland]

No Abraham was sincere, he "took the knife to slay his son".

[@andyboreland]

Fair enough. God doesn't change in a sense that He himself is constant. But He can be more patient in certain circumstances, or less to make an example of someone. And no one does not sin, and in the new testament (Jesus birth onwards) God is more patient because He wants people ot believe in HIm and repent. But that doesn't mean He won't judge people who won't listen

[@andyboreland]

I am told to put on the armour of God, which means to learn verses, in Ephesians.

[@philipgordon7]

his material isn't really that funny, but some of his impressions and accents are pretty good

[@andyboreland]

Well as I said before call it magic, call it miracle. And how does He pick favourites? The are the people who follow Him, if that's what you are refering to. Do as I say and not as I do and might makes right? What are you talking about?

[@andyboreland]

Yes, they believe that Mary is God, that you have to do good works to get into heaven and that Jesus is bread. God is God, man is man.

[@madpaduk]

sadly this is nowhere near as good as his stint on "Live at the Apollo" I think its listed as Patrick Kielty on Terror

[@andyboreland]

I'm sorry I just chose the ones I have time to answer. Feel free to ask them again. Well, there was a case in the Bible were a woman lied about Hebrews she was helping, and God blessed her for helping His people. And lusting, yes, it is natural to lust. But sin is natural! And everyone does it! God wants us to turn from that sin. We can't do it alone. There is no way anyone can't look at an attractive person of opposite gender and not think thoughts. So that is why we ask God for strength.

[@LsSugarAddiction]

dead crowd... poor guy T_T

[@andyboreland]

Im not "forcing" you to do anything, I'm simply telling people about God's grace. So hold on. Do you think you deserve heaven? Are you perfect? Maybe you don't want it to be true...

[@TheBarrickBoy]

@slamin45 Bill Hicks

[@johnn278]

think maybe thats an opinion that others may or may not agree with

[@andyboreland]

Have you ever done anything wrong? God said everyone has, and cannot get into the perfect place, heaven. But God sent His son to pay the price for our sins, so now if we say we are sorry, God will forgive us.

[@andyboreland]

What are you talking about a vote of hands? Well I don't want to fight you, I am only concerned for you. It is up to you whether you believe or not. But you will have to pay the consequences of your sin.

[@andyboreland]

Firstly if everything is going right, nobody bothers with God because they're "alright by themselves". And Pharaoh was keeping God's people as slaves, so God freed His people. And actually "picking up sticks on a Saturday" isn't condemned by God, it is deemed wrong by Pharisees etc. then corrected by Jesus.

[@andyboreland]

I believe the whole Bible and there are no errors or contradictions. He favours HIs chosen people because they worship Him. Yes, women can't teach men, they can't lead the church and Paul said they were temptations to men.

[@andyboreland]

In war it is not classed as murder. God has not done any of these: Theft, human sacrifce, magic, racism etc. (He chose Israel because they followed Him), deception. But please do comment with where you think I am wrong. And what do you mean by tribute?

[@andyboreland]

You can only experience God by seeing His love through a Christian's life, or by becoming a Christian yourself. If it is evidence you are looking for, then sorry. In the Bible there is a parable about a rich man who is not a believer, and Lazarus, a believer. Lazarus goes to heaven and the rich man to hell. He looks up and sees Lazarus in heaven and asks if he can send Abraham to his brothers to tell him to get saved. But Abraham says, if you don't believe the Bible, you'l dismiss any evidence

[@vitorinobarcelona6990]

He was a good show host with last chance lottery, but other than that he needs to work to get it right, and respond immediately to feedback,

[@andyboreland]

@popjoeandco No.

[@andyboreland]

Unfortunately there won't be evidence. But if you look at a T.V for the first time, you don't know how it works. But you switch it on and try it and use it. You may use it without EVER understanding it. This is the same. Yes you will burn if you don't believe. But not just because you don't believe. The reason we die and go to hell is because we sin. We can't even begin to count the sin. But God sacrificed Jesus, to take our sin, now all we need is forgiveness. To God we are clean and pure.

[@andyboreland]

What?! Judaism is the first religion, which then formed Christianity which then formed Catholosism (which mixed with Judaism makes Islam). Constantine asked preachers from Christians from different churches to come together and make one church (that is what catholic means), but only 300 or so did. The others were true Christians who believe in the inerrant Bible (ie faith not works)

[@andyboreland]

So you'd rather spend all eternity in hell rather than heaven, because you don't think Jesus dying for you (when you don't even know Him) is enough!

[@andyboreland]

How? And using His name in vain is like saying OMG. There is no "proof" for God that you would believe, only the Bible. 2 Corinthians 4:4 + 18 "The god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them" "While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."

[@andyboreland]

That is your own views.

[@andyboreland]

Satan is mentioned in the oldest book of the Bible (Job). The Bible doesn't permit adultery and fornication! Reuben (Jacob's son) lost his brithright because of sexual sin.

[@Jeffo193]

"Osama Bin Laden himself could walk through Dublin airport"...not any more he couldn't ;)

[@Rokuns]

Your ignoring everything I've said just to remain ignorant! The first religions were druidic, shamanistic, and paganistic, judaism came after that incorporating much of the others beliefs, then it branched into chatholoscism which branched into christianity, then mormonism. Each branch has hundreds, or in the case of christianity over 30,000 different copies of the bible. Your religion was founded a scant few thousand years ago while others have been going since the dawn of time.

[@andyboreland]

Yes Jephthah foolishly offered God the first thing that came out of His door as a sacrifice to God, if He let him win the war. Yes I am 100% that what I follow is the right Christianity, I follow the Bible literally. I don't believe that works can get you to heaven (Ephesians 2:8&9) Yes, they explained to the people that they were taking it and there is no sign of the people refusing.

[@andyboreland]

No the woman wasn't a Hebrew herself. She was doing it for a good cause. But that doesn't justify it. She was rewarded for her good but punished for lying. And lust, God says, is as bad as adultery or fornication. God wants us to make a conscious choice to turn from that. You're supposed to rely on God all the time but being human, people think they don't need Him so He brings us back down to earth by allowing the devil to tempt us.

[@andyboreland]

God didn't let Abraham kill his son, He stopped him before he did it. It was a test of faith. Well maybe you should look deeper before making up your mind, this is the biggest decision of your life.

[@Rokuns]

So tell me then, which of these does or does not apply to your biblical god in these statements. I'm just curious how much you really know about your own god. 1) Talking animals 2) Endorsement of acts of war. (Murder, rape, pillaging, slavery, etc) 3) Theft 4) Human sacrifice 5) Sexism, Racism, Facism, etc. 6) Magic 7) Deception, i.e. lieing 8) Infanticide, genocide, etc. 9) Animal sacrifice 10) Tribute Your god is unchanging as he said, so you can't rule them out cus of your newest book

[@andyboreland]

No, what I mean by faith is that no man is good enough for heaven because everyone has done wrong (Romans 3:23) "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God". And everyone deserves punishment, but God sent Jesus to die for all men. So now by FAITH ALONE we can be saved, (Eph 2 8-9) "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. God comes into our lives and makes us innocent inside. (John 3:7)

[@Rokuns]

The countless other murders committed in gods name like the story of the brass plates. War makes people suffer so bad they never want it again. Jesus had his apostles steal a donkey for him, god wanted joseph to sacrifice his son, as well as the story of jebtah. Your god supposedly spoke everything into being, out of nothing no less, then gave it life. Classifies as magic to me, nothing more then a golem spell. Tribute I meant as tithing, god needs money so says all these holy rollers.

[@Rokuns]

Uhhhh...that's what I meant. Rather then saying or thinking his god was a kind and loving one he was going to sacrifice his son to a malevolent being. So apparently he knew his god would ask and someone do something like that just to please him. So I'm still waiting on proof of your god, not to mention proof that he is a loving god, and what has he ever given humanity other then life like it says in your bible? Don't get me wrong, I hold view Abiogenesis higher then your gods magic.

[@Rokuns]

Well, I'm always skeptical so when you can provide proof I'll listen but till then it's just like you said. Pointless arguing. That and you must be a completely different if not new sect of christianity since the 4 different christian versions of the bible I've read clearly state anyone who doesn't believe is gonna burn.

[@seamusreid]

@MisterTwoPiece and who wrote your beliefs or theories, crop circle designers

[@andyboreland]

God killed the whole family because they hated God because of Him killing the first sinner. But would have forgiven them had they repented. This life is only a gateway to the next whever you choose to go. Listen mate I don't want to fight you, I want to do the opposite.

[@andyboreland]

The Satanist who translated it changed the texts, eg. at one part he subtly changed "Morning star" with "Sun of the Morning". Mixing up Jesus and the satan. What about lying, lusting, using God's name in vain? Who did you apologize to for those? Yes, some people misuse it, but they still get punished in this life.

[@Rokuns]

so what your inferring is god is all powerful, and man is his plaything. Again this goes back to the "Might makes Right!" theology and the "Do as I say, not as I do".

[@andyboreland]

Ok, so go on "debunk" the Bible. I do believe science, not ALL science. Some science hasn't been proven, might be right might be wrong. But remember, people thought the earth was flat until recently, if they only looked in their Bible...

[@Rokuns]

No worries I was just curious if you were dodging them like so many others seem to do. So then lieing is ok only if it helps your gods "Chosen people"? Seems pretty hypocritical and racist I gotta say. So how is lust wrong? How is it a sin? If it is a natural thing your god implanted in everyone, why would he give us no choice but to sin and need forgiveness? Personally why rely on him at all at that point and not practice self empowerment rather then asking your god for help all the time?

[@Rokuns]

On top of that you still didn't mention anything on the jebtah character who sacrificed his daughter to god to win a battle! Theirs over 30,000 different varieties of christianity, you sure you picked the right one? As for the mormon thing your right, sorry got the wrong religion mixed in, but mormonism is another offcult of christianity. As for the cheap shot, maybe you shoulda read the verse that clearly states that they took the animals, yet never did it mention them bringing it back.

[@Shaftsus]

He was awesome when he did political stand up but he's gone away from it now.

[@andyboreland]

Not sure about the first one, i think it is mormon. The apostles didn't steal the donkey! They would have returned it afterwards, that's a cheap dig! God didn't let Abraham kill his son, He stopped Him and provided a goat instead. It was a test of faith and obedience. Well if you want to class is as magic you can, but its the reason you are alive so I wouldn't complain! Holy rolers! Exactly! Don't listen to these "christians". Many don't even know how to get saved!

[@boohooo6381]

This is Pish!!!!!!

[@microscopic]

shite

[@Rokuns]

The bible says the earth is flat... I'm curious which aspects of science are "wrong" in your eyes? As for debunking the bible, you won't accept anything that ever would, but case and point here's some examples. Evolution debunks it easily, same with Expanding universe theory, Radioactive dating, homologous structures, vestigial organs, gene order, intron sequence, natural selection, biogeography, stratigraphy, variation. These are just a FEW scientific theories that debunk your bible.

[@Rokuns]

So then that statement is hypocritical of everyone being "gods children" since he picks favorites. So then if god hates slavery, why did he ok it for his "Chosen people"? Why is it ok for them to own another man/woman/child but not someone who doesn't believe in him? As for the Saturday analogy that was going off of your bible's verdict to stone a person who was caught picking up sticks on a Sunday.

[@andyboreland]

God made us. We turned away from Him. Out of mercy and grace God lets those of us who choose freely to believe on Him to be rescued from hell. It is not a right to go to heaven, it is an offer. If you don't want it, at least let other people choose for themselves.

[@VivaLaPol]

I'm glad I'm not the only person not to find him funny.

[@badhead]

@Drogba10Ronaldo9 ask Kielty to do a stand up gig and not mention the troubles, and he would be lost. Colin Murphy is a good N'Ireland stanp up. Kielty just talks about the troubles and cant do anything eles.

[@andyboreland]

Well Christianty comes from Judaism, even before it was a 'religion' people still believed it. So technically Christianity is the first religion. Ignoring the Catholic Chruch (which wasn't the start of Christianity).

[@andyboreland]

Well check it again then. God doesn't tell us to stone people for working on a Sunday. The law applied to the Sabbath. We are not to sacrifice animals now that Jesus was sacrificed. No, that is your choice, I hope you'l make the right one.

[@andyboreland]

See, you are calling it evidence. But you have made many mistakes in your "facts". And we have gone very off-point. The point is that Jesus was a real person who lived a sinless life, and still died for you that you might go to heaven.

[@xxTaMeFuarxx]

ni isnt uncivilised!

[@Rokuns]

No other gods but the abrahamic gods require repentance through sacrificing themselves, to themselves either. You do realize that there are over 30,000 christian variations alone with their own bible, how do you know yours is the right one? Look to the foundations of religions and who first started it. Druids, Shaman, and Pagans were the main progenerators of your religion. Your own religions history is that of bloodshed and stealing things from others religions to call there own.

[@Rokuns]

you still haven't answered my question, why did the babies hafta die for your gods sense of "Justice"? Some of these are my views, but how does that disperse the evidence against your god?

[@Rokuns]

I didn't realize adults still believed in fairy tales personally. But rather then thinking for yourself you gotta have someone else tell you what to think, thus the quoting of your work of fiction? Ya mass murder and genocide still go on propriated mainly by the abrahamic religions. Abraham shows his willingness to kill his son for God. Only an evil God would ask a father to do that; only a bad father would be willing to do it. 22:10 Hey look I can find quotes out in your book too!

[@Rokuns]

god hardens Pharaoh's heart so he won't listen to moses, just so he can kill his army, people, first born both animals and humans, not to mention cause them intense suffering in the meantime all to prove the point that he is a god. Then they're told to celebrate this massacre and call it "Passover" "And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and the Lord slew him." What did Er do to elicit God's wrath? The Bible doesn't say. Maybe he picked up some sticks on Saturday.

[@Rokuns]

I never said they went to hell, I said he murdered them along with all the other animals/plants/insects/etc that "noah" didn't bring on the ark. It's protecting a group of people, the individual was the instigator in taking a life and if let back in the public would do so again without issues. Your trying to group justice and vengeance with your gods malevolent hate and hypocrisy, and turn it around to make an excuse to why your god kills.

[@andyboreland]

Murder and killing are different. So go on, where is the scripture for this? No, man and God are apart because of Adam. We cannot understand God because our brains are too insignificant.

[@Rokuns]

Yes and before that he was known by countless other names predating your religion thousands of years. Look if your not gonna do any research then I'm wasting my time...You've obviously never read your bible and took time to understand what each verse is saying, and you obviously have no idea about history, primarily in the aspect of religion. I'm tired of you ignoring my questions and going off on a different topic.

[@Rokuns]

Lmao cus you keep ignoring any evidence I bring and then quote bible verses as if they were facts. if you were so willing to "change" then why don't you look this up yourself? I'll even give you a hand, watch AronRa's "foundational falsehoods of creationism", Thunderf00ts "why do people laugh at creationism", And even concordance or DprJones' videos. You got the whole internet to look these things up, use it!

[@Rokuns]

See your cherrypicking though what you believe in your own bible's, you can't deny that he isn't a heartless monster since he still favors his "Chosen people" and still supposedly did countless atrocities towards everyone else. Even your new testament is riddled with immorality and hypocrisy. Sexism towards women being a main issue in there. You see, the more knowledge and understanding one gains on a subject the less likely they are to anger.

[@Rokuns]

so using bronze age myths that have been debunked thousands of times helps your case how? Until you learn something about science rather then deny what's in front of your face we will always have the highground.

[@andyboreland]

What gave you the impression that the Bible was only for children? And a lot of the things you mentioned there happen today! Mass murder and genocide are two examples. "The fool says in his heart there is no god" Psalm 14.1

[@Rokuns]

Yes, but fail to point out any faults in my "facts" as you called them? Can you prove that your jesus lived? Can you prove that he was sinless and died for our sins? Why is it that if you or I kill a person, steal, rape, etc to another person it is a sin, yet you replace me or you with "god" and it becomes morally correct?

[@markc8956]

The WORST Late Late host they've had over in Ireland - and that included Pat Kenny. You'd have to go some to stoop lower than him!

[@Rokuns]

Again, where is your proof of god, where is your proof of jesus since by a vote of hands claimed him divinity of god...ya that's right maybe you should read your own history before making assumptions that I'd believe in your god. Is that such a hard concept for you to grasp? I don't believe in your god, or in your jesus who also by all accounts is just briefly mentioned in the history books but not as some messiah.

[@Rokuns]

Strange, but why would any Satanist ever translate a bible? That just doesn't seem logical to me. As for forgiveness I'd hafta say that I first apologize to the person(s) that I hurt and then make recompense. Of course if your deity just forgives people like that without a question then that could explain why alot of catholics/christians/jews/hindu's/muslims/etc always use the "god bandaid" when they hurt someone. Seems awfully convenient I got to say.

[@Rokuns]

Oh right, even though they came from the same founders they have nothing in common right? Lmao, I was more inferring to christianity since catholoscism is all but dead. You have your own hierarchy's as do all the other religious sects. So then you still have yet to prove your god is the right god, let alone that he even exists.

[@dhss333]

Pat Kielty: about as true to the spirit of comedy as drying paint or a chair. The desperation: not much laughter among public . "Niche" themes & appeal. Patter like a desperate East End stall seller. No charisma, no culture, no depth. Clowning, twitchy 1 liners that reference figures who many in audience will not even know. Intro. to first appearence as Late Late host with vapid platitudes & niceties & asides about banalities such as how nice it is that the Late Late is on after the News again. Confusing rapid delivery with being funny. No development of theme - to think that Humanity gave us the very contrary in Robin Williams, Steve Cougan/"Alan Partridge", Tommy Tiernan. More heat than light.