Living (happily) with Anxiety & Depression | My Experience, Panic Attacks, Being on Medication, Q&A

REMEMBER: this is only my experience. love y'all always.
TED talk on stress: • How to make stress you...
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[@Mariko479]

I’m glad you shared, I suffer from anxiety and depression too, it’s hard because you feel alone but everyday you look for the positive. I had a breakdown at work today that I actually left. This video helped me get out of my funk. Thank you. I been watching you for a year now. I hope you channel grows you really do have amazing content. 😊

[@PaytonSartainHH]

nikki m thank you beeb!! that’s so kind 🥺 we all have those days! a good sleep & reset will be amazing tonight 💙

[@melanienunez8794]

Girl yessss about the panic attacks being silly when they were over. I would get on to myself, “Melanie you were not in a life and death situation! Why did you just freak out?” You just have to laugh and forgive yourself.

[@hanisha2324]

I KNEW there was a reason why I liked you so much more than the other bloggers I follow and why you were the first and so far the only blogger/influencer who I wanted to be friends with. It's because THIS IS ME!!! Everything you spoke about including having the paranoid thoughts. I've always grown up in the safest neighborhoods(like the ones that make the top safest in the country lists) and STILL would be on the edge about being careful and sort of always on the lookout for any danger and that sort of thing! Anxiety and Depression are truly some of the worst conditions to suffer from in my opinion-more so than physical health conditions-simply because you can never "get away" from there. They're within you, within your mind and you can't distract yourself from feeling them! So when people place more emphasis or show more concern about physical diseases but not mental ones, it saddens me. Because you can fight physical illness with a strong healthy mind but not the other way around in most cases!

[@PaytonSartainHH]

I'm so glad you could relate to this, beeb!

[@Calebelle]

Thank you for being so open and sharing! Everything you said is so relatable. Recently went cold turkey off anti-anxiety meds after being on them for only 5 months and the withdrawals were INSANE. Exactly what you explained- nausea, disoriented, vertigo, brain zaps. I’m glad I was on it though so I could recognize the imbalance and work to fix it on my own. Definitely will give that TED talks a listen!

[@calhigonzalez2351]

I knew I loved you when I started following you like three years ago. You are so real and I love that. This deserves more credit

[@PaytonSartainHH]

calhi Gonzalez THANK YOU 💘 you’re the best 🥺

[@danimacintyre8057]

thank you so much for sharing this. it feels so nice hearing someone else speak about the exact things you think youre so alone for thinking .

[@isabellasohn]

Payton, thank you for being so raw and real with us in this video. I know it must feel so awkward to talk about your personal experiences in depth this way, but it truly struck a chord within me since I have always struggled with anxiety and gone through various depressive stages in my life. The way you talked about handling all of this shit is so uplifting and just so rational, and it really helps to hear someone else explain similar experiences and rationalize them/work through them. I think most of all what I really appreciated and connected to, was how you explained the moments where you would question what's wrong with you or you think to yourself "what the hell am i doing right now". It was reassuring to hear you explain it's not something to be embarrassed about or feel dumb for, because for years I struggled with feeling or thinking that way, which really brought me down. Anyways, thank you continuously being so raw and real with your content no matter the topic or occasion. It truly makes you one of my favorite bloggers/influencers to follow because of it. ps. this video made me even more convinced you would be an AMAZING podcaster!!! i feel like you have so much wisdom and insight to share.

[@PaytonSartainHH]

Isabella Sohn HELLO! Thank you so much for watching and I’m happy this could be helpful! There just HAS to be a positive side to this, ya know?? It can be tough, but so is life in general anyways 😂 I really appreciate you beeb! This comment made my day.

[@Dee-iw6up]

Thank you Payton. From a 57 year old Aussie, who is having one of those days. I just had to stay home today. As guilty as I feel for missing work and having to tell Hubby, again, it's what I needed to do. It is a constant battle and at my age, having suffered for as long as I can remember, it's tiring. I'm contemplating making a KZbin vid, to reach out to other, older women, so we can support and encourage each other. I want to try. Thank you again Sweetie, for caring enough to share.💐💟

[@PaytonSartainHH]

Deidre Rowe of course! wishing you the best!

[@Dee-iw6up]

@@PaytonSartainHH Thanks Lovely. 🐨

[@kadenbrody7254]

a trick : watch series on Flixzone. Been using them for watching loads of movies recently.

[@jimmyjohnny280]

@Kaden Brody definitely, have been watching on Flixzone for years myself =)

[@harlemmaddux9564]

@Kaden Brody yea, I've been watching on Flixzone for months myself :D

[@katimitchell]

This is SO, SO relatable. Thank you for sharing your personal story so openly-- I know it helped me, therefore most likely many others!! You are forever one of my favorite vloggers/influencers. We need more raw people like you. This inspires me to be more open about my own struggles and I love the way you accept it and grow from it constantly. THANK you!!!

[@rachelrooth4075]

This is literally how I am and you just explained it so well. Love this

[@jadamensah]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with anxiety & depression Payton, I found a lot of what you said to be massively insightful, reassuring, uplifting & yet frank, it takes an extremely resilient & brave person to publicly speak about their struggles upon social media, for doing just that I admire you & think you're an amazing woman. I honestly related to a lot of the physical symptoms that you named when explaining your depression & how it makes you feel, additionally I can relate to my anxiety also being triggered by absolutely anything & everything, as it has worsened considerably over the last year. Your video has provided me with a lot of tips & made me feel more willing to try new routes that before I had wholly disregarded, your visitors analogy for anxiety was fantastic too! I feel more confident in myself after watching this & hope one day too that I can be in a stable mindset & place in my life.

[@PaytonSartainHH]

Of course! Really, this needs to be talked about more. We all deal with a little something like this, so why not discuss?? I'm glad you got something positive from this video! Makes me happy. Thank you for leaving such a thoughtful response!!

[@jadamensah]

Payton Sartain Exactly, depression & anxiety are such widespread, prevalent issues amongst society. You’re welcome, thank you for replying :)))

[@allier.9193]

Hey girl! Thanks for sharing! Just sitting here having a mild panic attack and shaking. I really enjoyed how you started the video with a positive note.

[@hanisha2324]

Thank you talking about this so realistically and in full rawness without trying to make it look "simple" or "pretty". Because the way mental illness manifests in each of us IS different! And we all react differently to anxiety! Whether that's scary thoughts, suicidal thoughts, having "weird" coping mechanisms, whatever! So thank you for being honest without the fear of how you might be perceived or if you might "scare away" people, if that makes sense?

[@PaytonSartainHH]

& you know I'm always sharing my truth!

[@PURPOSEFULYOGA]

It really helps to know I'm not the only one who experienced this.

[@rosebuhr]

Thanks for sharing. In sharing our own experience with depression it encourages others that there is light at the end of the tunnel

[@elansings]

I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare. This feels so me. Sometimes, I feel like I need a dose of Payton. Thank you Payton

[@emilybachman2795]

Same. All I want to do is sleep. Because Atleast when I sleep I don’t have to deal with it

[@KatieCarlisle]

I've been wanting to talk about this for so long and now I'm even more inspired to! Thank you for sharing this! 💕

[@PaytonSartainHH]

Katie Shaffer of course! NORMALIZE THIS

[@hanisha2324]

Me tooo!! Definitely want to talk about this especially as a South Asian where the culture highly stigmatizes mental health issues! :/

[@destinyzroom]

Wow I watched one of your videos before & you reminded me of myself so I subscribed! But this video is tooooo relatable. I’ve been seeking a therapist since I’m having still aloooot of anxieties and even worse now😭. But I’m feeling better to see someone similar to me who’s like accepting herself. I never knew other people like felt the same way as me. I would comment more but it would be so long. But I feel literally everything you’re saying 😭😭😭 you’re not alone😭. Thanks for this video!

[@PaytonSartainHH]

ChérieDestiny I’m so happy this makes you feel better beeb! Mission accomplished

[@cebokazi_marala]

Thank you for sharing ☺️ I’m much older than you, and you were able to articulate some of my own experiences better than I have!

[@ritabugia2127]

I can relate with everything. Thanks for sharing. Sometimes I think I am alone in the world!! 🤍

[@itspickles]

Omg i can totally relate to the anxiety, especially the little things with your socks and shoelaces.

[@laurentivoli1183]

Meditation is the only way through. You have to clean out your inner space by sitting straight and surrendering, no matter how uncomfortable.

[@victoralmeyda970]

Thank you for telling your experience, it helps to see your video, you are a person of good intentions, greetings from Peru

[@gigibenja1671]

Thank you for sharing your story bc i’m facing it now

[@julier9852]

Matthew 11:28-29 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls."

[@sheidi_ec6134]

I have never not been anxious or depressed. I have no idea if it’s hereditary or from childhood trauma or what. But I’ve always felt like “grey” as a kid. If I wasn’t distracted or if I was bored I felt like it was the end of the world and like just so miserable. That could be my adhd coming into play but I just have always struggled with mental health issues, I’m 19 now and I struggle to drive without feeling panicky and I feel depressed most days. I watch these videos to feel hopeful that I won’t always feel this way.

[@Japanerin_in_Oesterreich]

I could have never confessed that I am suffering from the anxiety disorder, then I started isolating myself. Even my family blames how long I am suffering from it and pushing me to be “normal” without helping. I feel so anxious to tell someone that I have the anxiety disorder because of my family who even saw me having horrible times but don’t understand it at all.

[@Aesthetic_leen]

Hi did u have physical symptoms like chest pain, lump in the throat sensation, tingling, breathing issues and stomach issues?.... I was dealing with them since 3 months.. It was in the beginning of this month that the lump in my throat sensation got worse and was not going for weeks... I was dying everyday.... I'm on SSRI since 12 days and I feel really really good already.. I'm coming back to living and I'll take them if I need them .... I'm no more ashamed of taking them

[@summer-pr5jl]

What was process of getting diagnosed for you?

[@souadabdellahassen6917]

All of this is way to familiar. I almost feel like we were living the same life holly!!! ✨✨🥹🤎

[@ryanadam7559]

What do you think about ssri

[@fallwonder148]

Ive reached a point where I just get home from work snd eat dinner. I make myself stay up with my 16 yr old and husband as long as I can force my self usually 8 ish. Im getting where I prefer to be totally alone! I have an Awesome family. I have just lived this my entire life! Counseling hasn’t helped! Im so over it. I feel so guilty for my family.

[@julier9852]

Matthew 11:28-29 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls."

[@bridgetteblueeyesandgoodvi3853]

Well yah I just think I should keep taking the medication I mean it's okay to need it it's helped you so much! Why would you wanna go back being miserable 😖 people need medication like diabetics and if you have a cold so you can take medicine for your brain it's the same thing :)

[@shamslilo5996]

I was thinking I’m alone who suffer from this weird feeling it’s something mixed anxiety depression feeling alone hate people when they don’t answer me on messages sometimes you want to cry but you can’t I see everything difficult for me the life become hard and covid make the life worst I hope to find a treatment for this things

[@sheidi_ec6134]

You’re not alone. Things will get better, never stop trying to get better and ask for help when you need it. You are loved, it’ll be okay soon❤️

[@Anna-je8sg]

I‘m wondering how it all starts when you go to a psychologist, because I can‘t go there and tell him/her I have anxiety because it‘s just what I think it is and not what a psychologist told me. I have to plan everything because of my anxiety and I have to know what I will get myself into. When I don‘t know that things I‘m like stone and probably won‘t go there. And I‘m also affraid to be judged because I know that not all doctors/psychologists are good and understand you.

[@PaytonSartainHH]

You literally tell them exactly that^ 😉

[@Anna-je8sg]

@@PaytonSartainHH ok I‘ll try haha it’s just that in germany the doctors aren‘t that nice and most of them don‘t even listen to you because you‘re not the one paying them. My health insurence does even when they don‘t really help me😅

[@PaytonSartainHH]

@@Anna-je8sg yeah that’s not the best situation but all you can do is your best! If they judge you, it’s uncomfortable for like an hour at worst and then you leave and move on. Keep trying. It takes quite awhile to find the right therapist for most people

[@Anna-je8sg]

But thanks for the answer and that you told your story with us☺️

[@somethingaboutnay6019]

I feel you! I want to make videos like this but personal episodes are long and are a bitch

[@PaytonSartainHH]

SAN I can confirm they are both long and a bitch lol

[@mariano2078]

I Got Me A Coach And A Cheering Squad. Jejeje Somehow Life Gets Better 😂

[@giuseppeLizzi-rj3er]

My meds are actually horrible I don’t know why these doctors prescribed them for me I don’t feel there doing me any good

[@fallwonder148]

I don’t understand how you can be ok without medication

[@PaytonSartainHH]

I wouldn’t say I’m “ok” but I’m doing my best!

[@blameekatoneikosipente482]

Narcissistic much? I have anxiety and maybe depression and it SUCKS. Anxiety makes me fear all changes and depression is judging me for not taking a chance