People Speaks On Parents Having More Kids They Can Take Care OF/MUST WATCH

[@TOFFEETASTICC]

Absolutely. It really disgusts me to see people having kids back to back in poverty. That’s selfish and irresponsible. 😕

[@catmouse2882]

My brother has 6 kids by 3 different women. His current 3rd wife just had their 6th child. She herself came into the relationship with 4 kids by multiple different men. Its a trifling situation. My brother has forced the mother of his children to raise the kids in poverty. He's children go without...meanwhile the little resources he has he gives to his new wife and her kids. As a Black woman, I have divested from the buffonery and debauchery of Blackistan. I no longer associate with my brother. I feel sorry for the children because they do deserve better parents 😢

[@azureavocado5195]

Frfr I wish more women took heed. Alot of kids resent their parents (ultimately the mother) for consenting to bringing them into suffering. It’s UNNECESSARY. And then, after the fact… A lot of women lack the basic financial literacy to even equip their children that! It’s cruel and grossly irresponsible when you think about it.

[@HerMajesty81]

AGREED!!!

[@triggered577]

I’m with you 110%. People ought to be ashamed of themselves for subjecting children to poverty. As far as I’m concerned, you obviously couldn’t give af less about the wellbeing of your child if you wouldn’t do something as basic as get your life together before having them. So ridiculous

[@WishySissy]

33 yo black woman and I’ve seen it my whole life. I was disgusted by it from a very young age and knew I didn’t want that life for myself. I’ve happily avoided having children my whole life and will continue to do so!

[@Childfree334]

I have more than enough money to very comfortably raise 3 children. However, I do not possess the mental, emotional, and psychological capacity it takes to raise children. More importantly, I do not have the patience. I have no business being any child's mother and I know that. So no kids for me.

[@c16621]

This is a very responsible comment, and more women need to realize that you don’t have to have kids.

[@cd6741]

This!

[@anonymousone9699]

Very humane decision. I applauded you. You will be the best person to be around for young children and young adults around you. They will learn that quality of life is above all more important than societal expectations.

[@JJerseyGirl]

You are honest and know enough of yourself to know you won't be a good parent but people will say " you're wrong" or you're selfish to let that stop you from having children "

[@Childfree334]

@@JJerseyGirl Good thing IDGAF what people say. They are not living my life. I am.

[@Childfree334]

It is absolutely SHOCKING 😮 to me how many people think birthing children into poverty is some kind of badge of honor. You can barely afford to feed them, let alone buy them new clothing and shoes, and forget about affording decent schools/going on vacations/birthday parties/nice holiday gifts. As if wanting nice things is somehow wrong. I will never forget this kid in my middle school science class. We had a field trip to go to the Museum of Science, but the fee was $7. That money stopped him from having a great educational experience because his family couldn't afford to pay $7. I was so sad for him. 😢 He also wore the same clothes everyday with the exception of sometimes changing his shirt👕. No kid should have to live like that.

[@violet18]

Yes, it's about the little details like taking cupcakes for their class on their birthday. It's about the kids wanting to get Valentine cards for their class. It's about wanting to buy a Christmas gift for the kids' teachers.

[@2006glg]

I was that kid growing up. I'm 44. Never could go on field trips with other kids, not unless there was some grant or scholarship that I could apply for. Hungry everyday at school because mother never gave me lunch money nor was lunch food always available to me to make my own PBJ to take to school with me. I didn't eat until I got home every day and my mom got home and cooked. I take 90% of the credit for how I stayed dedicated for my education because I had almost zero support. The one thing that changed my life was I went to STEM summer camp at Clemson University in the 8th grade on scholarship. That experience changed my life and led me to where I am now. And my mother knows why I never had kids: I do not believe in birthing kids into poverty as the youngest of six kids born into deep poverty, I refuse to do it to a child.

[@Childfree334]

​@@2006glgI am so happy for you that you overcame childhood poverty. That is not easy to do. Wishing you continued success and a beautiful life 😊❤

[@2006glg]

​@@Childfree334Thank you and the same well wishes to you.

[@juliebella1221]

With respect, I was that poor kid. Got honor roll just to get the free breakfast. LOL!! Went to Sunday school because they would pick you up in the van and feed you to listen. Too boring, rather starve. LOL!! Halloween, was the time to get enough candy for the year. Go out with pillow cases, multiple costumes, you name it and then you had to hide it from your siblings and Mom. Have the stash you hide, that you know they will find, thinking they got one over on you, but really the bulk of the haul is super hidden. LOL!! Washed my clothes in the sink nightly to wear the next day and was made fun of relentlessly for how poor I was by the well to do kids - learning charity isn't really the well to do kids strength since majority of bullies are ALWAYS the well to do. I called them the cheerleaders and the jocks. Ra Ra...LOL!! I was from a divorced home - the worst back then. Parents wouldn't let their kids play with the children of divorce. It's like we weren't worth feeding or acknowledging that we existed. The fact that my Dad was a pedo and a monster, mattered not. In my experience, most women had to leave violent, awful behavior and that made them poor. They didn't start out poor when the baby came, they were married etc. So, I had the well to do side and then me, the poor one. LOL!! I'm so glad I grew up poor without tv and all that. The well to do kids were not something I envied. Their parents didn't really seem to care about them. I was invited to so many holidays etc. and they seemed like psychological torture with those families. There was always a favorite child, relative or what evs. Family drama is an understatement. Also, they all seemed to ignore the pedo in the family and just let him run amuck because if they called him out on it, they'd lose their well to do status. So many fake family photos all smiles, when you know for a fact they're miserable. When you're poor, none of that matters and you can handle your own business. Someone messes with you or yours, you don't need court for justice, the streets will do just fine. Ski resorts and country clubs are full of wankahs and having worked for generational wealth almost my whole life, I'd take growing up poor any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Being homeless shows you the bottom of the world and the truth of it. All the rest walk in cushioned versions of their own minds, not reality. The reality is majority of the world is poor. Majority of the world is born into poverty. Those at the top the well to do, keep it rigged this way. So to blame the poor when they just reversed Roe and still push be fruitful and multiply around the world on girls....there is more than enough to go around. Teenage girls who know they don't want children can't be sterilzied. Why? There is a waiting list for snips. People do try but the world at large makes it hard. The pill is $150, and the IUD is over $1000 - who has money for that if they're minimum wage? Why isn't birth control free for all???? Why isn't sterilization an option. I was denied sterilization by doctors. Maybe we stop letting corporations buy up all the residentials, which is technically illegal and why we have zoning laws in the first place. Maybe we actually follow the Constitution and realize the 13th Amendment, Involuntary Servitude clearly states Roe is unconstitutional - involuntary means unplanned and against one's will, servitude means the enslavement of one's mind, body and soul for the use of another mind, body and soul. This totally negates Roe, yet all the lawyers/judges in our country don't understand the laws??? There is a far more sinister plot at play and it's not the people having babies when they're poor's fault or man turns into a monster after marriage/baby and women has to leave, thus becoming poor oftentimes, fault. Especially if she doesn't want a daycare to raise her children and she has no family. We always look at the baby/pregnancy and blame that, never why does food cost money? Why isn't food a basic right? It's not a basic right in America. Why???? LOL!!!! 😊

[@alexishill3342]

I have siblings who have asked me why I don't have kids and looked at me crazy when I said kids are a luxury. They are so expensive! I have also watched younger siblings pop out babies back to back with no way to take care of them. I see that as inhumane and selfish.

[@lelolanga9074]

This, omg, you made me cackle but it's so true.

[@alexishill3342]

@@lelolanga9074 ❤️

[@HD91436]

This comment! Literally people in my family with 4 and struggling for cash all the time. To the point other families help out and pitch in. I work have a good job my money is enough for me lifes expensive enough. Unless I marry someone well off.

[@Childfree334]

This. I see so many people have kids they can't afford, then expect family to pitch in financially, mainly the grandparents. The entitlement is off the charts disgusting!!!

[@alexishill3342]

@Childfree334 I agree. That's exactly what both of my brothers were doing to my mom. The youngest one got on his feet because he was angry about being talked about for his entitled attitude, but the mother of other brothers' children is always calling my mom for stuff like she's their father. It couldn't be me. And the entitlement is so disgusting. Well said! If you can't take care of them, don't have them. It's very simple.

[@tylergood3773]

People need clarity, Not everyone has the financial assets to raise children. People should face the reality of the cost of child care instead of idealism

[@FutureB444]

"Stop buying Starbucks! Start walking instead of paying for gas. Get rid of your gym membership. Start eating one meal a week. Work a 3rd job. You can afford to be a parent, you're just too selfish to compromise" -Society

[@skkylotus]

​@@FutureB444very well said 👍. Then you have the family members that have kids and expect you to "chip in" since you are child free by choice and assumed rich since you have "no dependants". As if our resources should automatically pay for their selfishness.

[@FutureB444]

@@skkylotus "Don't you wanna give your sister a break?" -Parents

[@mimi.dixon.b]

@@FutureB444I don’t think anyone is claiming it’s easy to be financially stable in this economy,just that it’s kind of selfish to intentionally bring a kid into the world if you’re intending on providing the bare necessities to sustain life

[@grandcanesque]

@@FutureB444 like your sarca$m...considering large swaths of USA are not conducive to walking due to lack of sufficient public transportation, and starbucks/gym membership would only cover 1 month of very bottom rung daycare...

[@childfreechick2980]

Poverty is traumatizing. Not being able to have basic experiences and not always having enough food to eat or having the lights cut off for a few days is very traumatic and does a number on the self-esteem well into adulthood. Then to be told to be grateful for what you had. And whats worse is that many kids who experienced this grew up with a bunch of siblings, not bc their parenrs did not have access to contraception, but bc they simply had too many kids bc they wanted to.

[@TEWMUCH]

Right Cuz they made dumb decisions, WE Have to have a sucky life. 😔

[@catmouse2882]

That part 💯 There is no excuse in 2023 to be having children in poverty...people who do this...like my own brother...is being selfish, irresponsible, and immoral.

[@vqbl795]

THIS. Parentifying the eldest child is part of the culture in the country I grew up in (Asian here). I say, culture or not, THIS HAS TO STOP. If they need to parentify the eldest, it means they don't have what it takes to raise the rest. People need to stop making children that they don't have the time, emotion, and finances to raise. Having two is hard enough, yet many keep going because "it's God's/Destiny's will". Like beeches, NO. You decided to get it on without protection, and now you just knocked yourselves up multiple times to a point of no return, knowing your culture and religion doesn't allow 'take backs' 💀

[@TEWMUCH]

@0fGtxqv agreed, if u need a child's help....u cant raise a child.

[@SunseedStarchild]

Facts! I always say poverty is like a disease that impacts your mind, body, and soul. It impacts your self-esteem, how you think about and use money, how you preceive others, the list goes on. It makes no sense to bring a child into poverty with no way of helping them get out of it, it's damn near criminal.

[@carinaadams6797]

My sister stupidly once said she wanted to have a baby because “it would give her something to do”….I nearly punched her. But, instead scolded her into another dimension. A child is not a project or an accessory or anything of the sort. They are life that should be intentionally birthed with realistic forethought and love.

[@rosemaryoneale6694]

😂😂😂😂 you almost punch her, 😂😂😂😂 I hope you did not

[@carinaadams6797]

@@rosemaryoneale6694 No 😂, but i was close

[@rosemaryoneale6694]

@@carinaadams6797 😂😂😂😂😂 that’s funny, I’m glad you didn’t

[@IAMGROOT4EVA]

Oooouuu, the lady who spoke about the difference between people who want a child vs people who want to be a parent was spot on! It explains why some people are so vile when it comes to other children, too. When you want a child, most times it's, "I want to start my own family or continue my bloodline", but when you want to be a parent, you may want to have your own, but you're not so steadfast on it being yours biologically because you innerstand that a parent is a parent at the end of the day.

[@Kbuds18]

I'll be 40 years old this year. I have 2 degrees, make six figures and I have endless support and resources at my disposal. I've never once thought that about adding child to my life, and thanks to KZbin channels like this, I've never been more greatful for my decision to remain child free. Additionally, I've seen 8 of my best friends fall victim to single motherhood in their 20s. Ive seen first hand what my life could have been, so I simply chose a different path.

[@Kbuds18]

@Lilboozibert thank you, friend! 💛

[@shanaleasha6550]

I can relate, I saw it happen to my friend and I can remember us planning our lives post graduation and then she got pregnant. I want to live my life super spontaneous lmand children just don’t fit into it.

[@barefootedbougie]

I appreciate what these parents are saying. Some of these kids won't grow up being told a roof, food and clothing is enough and they should be grateful. That's the bare minimum a parent should give the kids they bring into the world.

[@violet18]

When my parents split up, we moved into a house that didn't even have a door on the bathroom. The house developed a mold problem and I had to breathe in mold spores all night long until my mom took action to get the landlord to fix it. The mold destroyed a lot of my belongings too.

[@Sky-yh3ml]

Parents want that shit for they selves so why can’t they be less musty

[@misguidedpearls7456]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@CoachDeeFree]

I knew for a long time I couldn't provide the life I'd want for my children. 😢 I've made peace with my decision, bc growing up poor is the worst

[@TEWMUCH]

Exactly same. I've never had the money, and at 29, I decided that I may never have a child. Even when I get the money, at this point, I'll prolly just keep it to myself. Not gonna be worth the work load and headache at this point.

[@heyalexiajanee]

​@TEWMUCH That's smart. Also I like your name😊

[@TT-xz5sy]

Same, I made peace with the idea of being the worlds best aunt 😊

[@TEWMUCH]

@heyalexiajanee aaaw thanks! It's the way I was feeling about life at the time I made it. 🤣

[@heyalexiajanee]

@TEWMUCH Girl I feel you!!!😫 I do hope things are turning up roses for you soon🌹

[@IAMGROOT4EVA]

The lady who spoke about the psychology of African Americans was very enlightening. It makes sense in why a lot of us have that mentality when it comes to entertainment

[@Michelle.1952]

It was definitely very enlightening for me. I now realize that many of my struggles are because I wasn't socialized to advance in the way that my yt or non blk counterparts were.

[@carinaadams6797]

@@SanguisLunae13I thought student loans were a thing? Expensive af but a thing. Are they not available anymore?

[@Cantetinza17]

My parents were the parents where we couldn't watch T.V. until the weekend and Holidays, and in the summer we were outside. We had no where to go had no money to go, but we were not in the house.

[@legslikewhoa]

It’s the most accessible escape. 😢

[@YankeeGirl226]

​@carinaadams6797 Student loans don't necessarily cover everything. And who wants to be in debt for the rest of their lives? There are people with six figure college debt, and they still can't get a job.

[@kari547]

I think bw should avoid having children we can’t afford.. Said this online years ago and was called classist and elitist 😂

[@selloanemahlatsi541]

Classiest and elitist for applying logic

[@lauratracey1405]

Absolutely you are correct, You look at them and think to yourself, Why are you having these kids. You have nothing, the baby daddy has nothing. And the cycle continues, rinse and repeat!!.

[@chidenisee]

They shouldn’t. My had just me. I have just one. My uncle had one son. That son has no children. My other uncle had one child. His son had only one child. We traveled and were all in various programs and I did any sport or any extracurricular program or camps I wanted to. We had the means because it was only a few of us and our grandparents were able to take us on the big trips while our parents worked.

[@hopeking200]

No but seriously 😳 feel like it would help alot if we adapt to that way of thinking

[@LilLadyAy]

I agree but too many are used to hardship, so where their elders and the generations before them, it's all seen as normal and efforts to leave it are seen as arrogance that needs humbling.

[@sparklyunicorn5431]

I grew up with miserly parents because we didn't have much money and it was miserable. I have a lot of resentment for that because of the way it affected me. Don't do this to kids, they deserve better.

[@Ourown311]

I'm sorry you went through that, and your so right.

[@katherinedelacruz9876]

I can definitely see the difference between me and my partner. I grew up with parents with a poor mindset because they were immigrants and didn’t really know a lot of financial literacy. My partner grew up with parents who were both professionals. My anxiety around money is constant. I can’t be calm and I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like im enough or what I have is enough. This is the true cost of growing up in an environment where you know you are a burden. I will never have children.

[@SunseedStarchild]

❤❤❤

[@Ourown311]

Right, and I hate parents who have kids and treat their kids like they're a burden to them. Like it's your fault if that's the case, because who told you to reproduce? You knew you were poor before the kid got there.

[@Sky-yh3ml]

@@Ourown311yet these ppl claim pro life hence why im pro choice can’t stand the BS

[@thispersonrighthere9024]

worst of all, they force the older kids to raise the younger ones.

[@hopeking200]

Which later on ends up being another reason why those ppl who experienced that upbringing backs out on children I know a handful that are like that

[@NoNameToYou]

They also use the older ones as a piggy bank indefinitely.

[@ccd5942]

Which is some BS . I was a parentified child. The crap is not cool. My sis in law has a 8 yr old daughter , a 4 year old autistic son, and a 1 yr old son that has some sort of disability. They’re always telling the daughter to do this and that for her brothers or get her brothers etc. I pray that they do not push the kids off on her . I was her age when I was parentified to my two younger sisters one being disabled. My other sister in law recently brought the same situation up in a convo . We can’t really say anything as we’re the in laws and the family makes that separation apparent.

[@michalovesanime]

I constantely miss parents talking about the EMOTIONAL investment in your kids. Do you have the time to spend with them? Do hobbys with them? Get to know they as individuals? My parents had money and often time but didnt do any of the emotional labour ,didnt invest in my emotional development and connection. Money is important, one of the most important things but emotional labour NEED TO BE SPOKEN OFF. A lot of rich parents also dont invest in that aspect of parenthood. Kids need that too. Having enough money is not enough!

[@rainhas.7095]

Agreed, this is one of the many reasons I am one and done, not only financially but emotionally. With one child I can truly pour into them, be present, enjoy them for them, give them the emotional support I didn’t have growing up. Even if I could afford 2, 3, 4 kids etc there are still objectively only 24 hours in a day, the time gets spread thin for each additional child. Some parents really fail to acknowledge that fact.

[@amiek9226]

Amen! Emotional investment in your children is crucial!!! My husband was the 5th of seven children. He’s an introverted quiet sort and he often felt like he was lost in the shuffle while growing up. His mom was a devoted SAHM and his father was the stereotypical emotionally distant breadwinner. When it came time to having a family of our own, my husband was adamant that he did *not* want a big family. He knew the financial struggles his parents had faced raising 7 children and he wanted to be able to provide opportunities to our children that he hadn’t had growing up. But most of all, he wanted to bond with his own children more strongly than his father had with him. We had three children and poured into them. We often felt pulled in too many directions and that we often fell short. But our children grew up and still like us, so we didn’t do too badly. Sadly though, it looks like we won’t be getting any grandchildren but that’s okay. Both my husband and I understand that it’s even more difficult to raise a child these days, so we respect whatever decisions our children make in that regard.

[@Justaperson354]

It always amazes me that the poorer a community, country, and persons in general are the more children they tend to have. I’ve seen people watch their children starve to death and just keep having them. It’s cruel and insanity to me!

[@msfullroller]

It's my thought that children are not seen as humans, but as assets, similar to, money, a house etc which I agree with you, is cruel. These same parents will get all up in they feelings when their child becomes and adult, realizing this and treats the parent the same way.

[@l0111]

Money is the real village especially in the US.

[@officialjocelyn9108]

As a single mother, I had a burning desire to make sure she had all the experiences I could afford....summer camp, swimming lessons, dance classes, Disney, etc. I could not imagine doing that for multiple children, so I stopped at 1 child, but my cousin with 4 children (1 daughter) kept trying to have me take her daughter with mine.

[@SamanthaMac912]

I’m a single mom and as much as I want a second child, I had to step back and think about the money I don’t have for myself now 🤣 my daughter is 1 and we just started swim lessons and I know she is gonna do more as she gets older 😅 so one and done for me ✅

[@mogulmade]

People who make right decisions are often burned by those who refuse to make better decisions.

[@grandcanesque]

uh that's a hard no, unless you decide to invite her daughter then I guarantee it will become "well what about my sons" , guess she doesn't realise she'll be creating resentment/jealously amongst her 4 children...

[@bendaliegilet7130]

I use to go to field trips with my class with barely any money for lunch, or the activities. I remember we went to a field trip and I found $20 on the beach. It was the best day of my life. It’s traumatizing being left out of the group. All the kids were going into the gift shops on field trips, and I had to wait outside. By middle school, I didn’t even bother asking for money to go on field trips anymore.

[@Jae-by3hf]

Same here!

[@misguidedpearls7456]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@azureavocado5195]

15:03 My parents did this with the distant relatives back in Africa. -Sending these male kids video games and denying their actual daughters the same. Ugh

[@kind2423]

Not surprised.

[@Iamblahblah111]

My grandfather who was my caretaker did the same, had us living in a house with termites meanwhile he’s sending over 15k to his relatives back in africa a year and more

[@rainabahadur3621]

The tiktok about poor kids and entertainment was super relatable for me 😶. My parents could afford extracurriculars, they just barely had time to drop and pick me up from stuff, so I watched T.V. I only took martial arts when I was 16, because I could drive myself.

[@vqbl795]

THIS content NEEDS more views and attention. A lot of people (mostly the boomers, the self-professed and self righteous "true wifeys" and the incels) out there bashing the younger generations for choosing to strategically have (or not have) children. Those people seem to be turning a blind eye to the realities of why people nowadays are choosing to do so. Some of us out here are just trying to break generational patterns of poverty and lack of psychologically (and emotionally) capable parents. . . . . Many incels also overgeneralize women and looking at women who are in 'grindset' (and who are either completing education or chasing career promotions) as if we're out here trying to take opportunities from them in the work force. Like, NO, Androo Tatoe. For many of us, it's not about who's the boss, *it's about raising chances of (at least) financial stability by having possible career backers in case times get tough. IT'S FOR OUR FAMILY (either current or potential ones).

[@shanaleasha6550]

Kids are not for broke people. Idc who gets offended. They deserve to have their needs and some wants met. If you can’t do it, then leave ‘‘em in your uterus

[@bobbyray7558]

*Needs* , yes; "wants", lol.

[@grandcanesque]

their imaginations would be a safer place

[@ayuanabradford3206]

Most want kids for they can take care of the parents when they older

[@Sky-yh3ml]

@@ayuanabradford3206who says ppl should wreck they body to create a need for a caretaker they could delete their own self

[@thelashayway8250]

And big families are for people who are rich/wealthy or well off.

[@SuperMum84]

I’m married and I have a 14 year old son . We go travelling abroad 3 times a year ❤ I’m so glad I can afford to give my son what I never had as a child

[@TheHestya]

Poverty is traumatising. My mum only had me at least and at the time I was happy, thought my childhood was amazing. And in many ways it definitely was. But the poverty has stayed with me. I don't blame my mum, my father left her without support, my nan became like a second mother for me so my mum could go to work and earn money for us all. And we always had the necessities. But there is generational trauma in our family, which I am happy to break the cycle of. I don't have kids and probably will not. And I'm working on my mental and physical health now. And I love my mum to bits and am taking care of her now that she is disabled. She has given me a better life than she had. A better future. I know I will grow old with at least some comfort and be able to provide that for my mum.

[@Shealainthecity]

Lets talk about being mentally fit to have kids.

[@TOFFEETASTICC]

Yesss. There needs to be a test in place to determine if someone is mentally able enough to raise a child. I feel that will take care of the CA/neglect rates. 😕

[@hopeking200]

This^

[@mahlohonololebuso741]

This!!!!

[@haute03]

@@TOFFEETASTICC That's an interesting idea in theory, but in practice it sounds like a very slippery slope into eugenics...

[@Cantetinza17]

My mom would always say. Women need to stop laying low and spreading wide for the wrong men; or stop popping out kids that you can't afford". In the same breath she looks at me and says, "Come on now, I'd like to be a grandmother before I die"! Hello! I'm following what you said, and now you want me to forget all that you said?! Kids are expensive. Child care is expensive. She's right activities are expensive. I was the expensive child in my parents' life. My sister not so much.

[@the80sjukeboxbaby]

20:58 my heart breaks for her. I can completely relate to her experience and I agree. I could hear the tears forming in her voice. I don’t want kids for multiple reasons but I notice that ppl don’t take it into account what kind of life you provide for these kids. Stop having kids just because with no consideration and preparation for them.

[@juliannaking4473]

Having kids is Not for everyone . I respect those who know and understand that

[@dugongsdoitbetter]

Growing up we were a family of 7 and there were a lot of simple things like school field trips that my parents couldn't afford.

[@embluvya]

We have the privilege of easy access to birth control in these western countries. When people choose not to use it and impoverish themselves deliberately, it's really sad. We are not like other animals who have a new baby every year, we can control and choose when we have kids. Make that decision wisely! But at the same time it's sad that it feels like our generation is being priced out of having kids. Thoughtful people who consider the monetary consequences have fewer kids, and financially irresponsible people pop out a lot of kids who will have horrible lives with no enrichment.

[@MirrimBlackfox]

I do have to say one thing, a person I know can't be on hormonal birth-control due to health problems, and has gotten pregnant 3 times while using condoms w/spermicide, carried one child to term, one spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) and one that had to be aborted do to medical issues. So it isn't always a case of choosing not to use birth control. Sometimes it really is just bad luck. Also, while in the State I live in BC is provided by the state (we have a universal access program) that is not true for many places here in the US and long term birth control (which is the most effective type) is financially (or sometimes literally for people in the more rural communities) out of reach for many people in Red states. So while I know that these are a minority of cases, they do exist so it is important while looking at this issue to remember that you don't know a persons particular situation.

[@ec9833]

Seriously…we need to normalize the question WHY DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A CHILD?? And only the answers that DON’T REVOLVE AROUND THEM AND THEIR EMOTIONS.

[@TOFFEETASTICC]

“bEcAuSe i wAnT a miNi vErSiOn oF mYsElF” is the answer most people have in their minds. Its disgusting. 😕

[@Jae-by3hf]

YES 👏🏽

[@officialjocelyn9108]

The lady with the hat reminded me about being in band class, but not being able to participate because you didn't have an instrument. My reason was that I could bring my instrument sometimes, but if the instrumental rental people would be at the school, I couldn't bring my instrument or they would take it because she was behind on the payments.

[@emajjamarie]

I’ve been saying this for years but people called me elitist and lots of other things

[@TOFFEETASTICC]

Tbh I take the word “elitist” as a compliment. They use that word as a shaming tactic to justify their bad choices. 😕🤷🏾‍♀️

[@emajjamarie]

@@TOFFEETASTICC completely agree

[@tuinfarto608]

You: " im broke, have mental illness, no support. I cant do it." Them: "Gaaaaaaaahd will find a way."

[@relaxbebe]

Thank you for this video! Oh my god Mexico and Dominican Republic have the same phrase, where 1 eat 2 can eat. Basically you give less to one to feed the other, poverty mentally and the lady crying breaks my heart, because that’s me and that’s why I don’t have kids yet and I prefer no to if I cant give them a better childhood than mine!

[@FutureB444]

"Duh lawd will provide"

[@mamorumobushi2217]

I swear i hate those kinda people. If you can't afford to provide a good life for your child, why tf are u on your 5th, 6th!? You couldve had one or two and take better care of them and providing their needs but nooo lets f*ck children's lives and think we're giving them a "chance", a chance at what? Being miserable for 18+ years!? This irks me so much, caude those are the same parents who would complain about paying lunch for school while not buying anything at grocery...

[@selloanemahlatsi541]

It makes absolutely nonsense to me. I really don't understand how they justify this to themselves

[@ayuanabradford3206]

@@selloanemahlatsi541For the kids can take care of the parents or give the parents a better life

[@selloanemahlatsi541]

@ayuanabradford3206 that's not how parenting is supposed to work

[@nyty9578]

⁠@@ayuanabradford3206if you have children because you think that they will take care of you later on or they will give you a better life you should absolutely never in your life have children.

[@CoolBreiz]

I’m an only child and was able to do a lot extracurricular activities growing up. Things that homes with multiple children never got to do. I was in competitive dance and took ballet growing up and these are very expensive. I couldn’t imagine my parents trying to do that that for 2 or more children.

[@IntrusiveDuck]

omg! i did ballet too

[@vqbl795]

Happy to hear you had access to those extra curricular activities growing up. I wish I did, too. And I hope my future kids' can have access to that privilege so they can explore their hobbies and talents at a deeper scale without the stress of feeling like they owe me every single enjoyment they're experiencing as a child.

[@lkf8799]

This is true. We were lucky enough to have my grandparents and aunties help us a lot and we did a lot of family things to keep busy. We didn't really travel or have luxury items but we had friends and cousins to play with on weekends and the T.V. was definitely a babysitter. I didn't mind not having more but my sister did. I have more trouble as an adult not having enough. It gives me a lot of anxiety and it's why I don't have kids.

[@silverkitty2503]

Some people live in a financial dream world!

[@2006glg]

I soooo relate to the lady in the yellow cap. I feel every word she says and she brought me to tears too because I can relate through and through.

[@SunseedStarchild]

A lack of enrichment in my formative years still stifles me to this day. I grew up poor and I'm the middle child as well, so i had even less enrichment opportunities than my siblings. I'd rather not have kids at all than birth a child into poverty + having hella kids.

[@chidenisee]

You need money to have a child. I have a 4 year old in private school. Next year we start Tennis and Swimming camp. Both private. Travel. Passports. Food, college savings. This is not even including basic necessities. Visits to the zoo, museums, movies and all the fun add ons. This is why I only have one.

[@TOFFEETASTICC]

Right. It cost at least $237,500 to raise a child birth to age 18. 😕

[@theijeomalyons]

💅🏿👏🏿

[@manarcabrera2528]

The control and shaming needs to stop. Having children is expensive especially if you want provide them with a good education? dressing them a certain way. Providing the tools they need to be successful in life. To those people who think they have the right to dictate what others should do, mind your business. And leave those who want to be child free alone. Stop!

[@Soulficial360]

Every time I think about having kids I see more evidence that I'm going to fail for not making 100k a year. I did a lot growing up and I would hope to be able to provide that for my child.

[@WeCaredALot]

Completely agree with giving kids EXPERIENCES. I hate that I wasn't able to do piano lessons or take summer vacations as a kid because we didn't have the money for it. I was lucky enough to be able to participate in low-income afterschool activities, but I definitely felt left out when I saw other kids being able to do things like soccer clubs, summer Euro trips, etc. It's infuriating that people think kids only need food, water, and shelter. The lady at 21:00 broke my heart. What she said is so true.

[@misguidedpearls7456]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Cnichal]

29:29 We don’t all have the same 24hrs. Those who have money can pay for someone else’s time. And free up their own, to do the things that matter to them.

[@rhondadenis3469]

I have two children. My youngest will be 11. My mother had begged me for years to have another child. I have been saying for years having more children for me is irresponsible. I want to provide my children with a comfortable life. I travel with them, I want them to have a very good quality of life. So for me two is enough.

[@ironsnowflake1076]

Something I rarely see, is the mention of how conditions can change, and often do.....and not always for the better. Economic downturns, AI and automation taking good jobs from the economy....you may have it made when you chose to have children & be struggling WITH those children you chose to have when the future looked so sunny & prosperous..... let's give ourselves & eachother some grace......look at this economy right now, seems like having enough to eat has become an "enriching experience" keeping a roof over your head & paying skyhigh utilities are a dreadful drain.....so no parent has a crystal ball.... I definitely see why more women are choosing to be childfree in these turbulent times. Love your vids :) ♀️

[@S.A.White...]

I was going to say that there HAVE to be ways to teach a kid to swim without lessons, and then I thought about it. Pool fees are expensive, and there are no places near me where people can swim in public water. So... yeah, lessons are probably the most affordable option. Which is messed up.

[@ole1935]

Me and my siblings lived in poverty and we suffered greatly from the lack of decent clothing, decent food, and constant stress caused by our parents fighting over how we're going to pay the bills. It was the absolute hell living in that house. Not to mention the social stigma of being poor. I don't wish that on anyone. I decided I won't have any kids until i'm financially well off, even if that will take forever. And I'm not stupid enough to rely on a man

[@Ourown311]

Yes!!!! This needs to be discussed. The selfishness of some adults to have kids, just because they can, instead of thinking about the childs welfare and quality of life, is disturbing to me.

[@vminhope3040]

The latinas hitting the spot with sending money to Mexico before buying anything for their one and only child. I remember her using my discount card from my work to re sell to Mexico. She got hundreds off with my help and when I asked her to buy me one underwear too for $7 she refused. I never let her use my discount again and blamed me for being a rude daughter.

[@shaypope4732]

Even if i can afford it im not going through that pain just to mainly do it by myself im good

[@KittyInkel]

👏 happy someone is taking about this. My husband and I have two daughters. People are always asking when I’m gonna give him a son. And they don’t understand when I say that we don’t want more children. This is why. We want to be able to give them a good life, go on vacations. Get them little extras. Put them through school. Etc. having another kid will make it more difficult for us. Also our oldest is 16. We don’t want to go through the baby stage again. 😝

[@tashibalampkin8555]

24:05 Y'all I cracked. I was just giggling. The child's like, "Mama pay attention to me." 😂

[@nativenation11]

the most realistic pov of motherhood.

[@minahtheweirdo]

Exactly!!!!! I take into account taking my boys on holiday... cars on 16th birthday NICE CLOTHES not the crap 2nd hand ish i grew up on and extra classes like piano etc people say i should have more but TWO IS ENOUGH . my boys quality of live is great if i have another it would be average or LOW

[@alwaysfabulous9965]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Exactly!!! This is why I'm childfree i knew i wouldn't be able to afford it financially, emotionally, time wise and to the standard would set. My mom also sent money to others while we were in poverty. Smh.

[@pla4825]

I totally understand the Mexican woman who prioritizes her kids over other family members as she should. If my kids want a new bike, swimming lessons, go to the movies or mall I want them to enjoy the quality of life instead of telling them No all the time giving the money away to someone else.

[@sdeisha1]

Ooofff that spending summers watching t.v hit so hard. I do have an nostalgia for Cartoon Network, cartoons in general because I spent countless summers in front of the tv. I didn't travel internationally until I was a full grown adult living on my own. I remember my mother forced me to go to a summer day camp that I didn't want to go to when I was around 12. I went the entire month of July, but when August rolled around she pulled me out of the day camp. Because that was the month the camp started going on trips and she couldn't afford to send me. I'm one of 3.

[@selloanemahlatsi541]

Can someone please not jump in the comments asking, "So should poor not have kids?"😒

[@RepentImmediately]

Most people should not be having kids for a variety of reasons.

[@azureavocado5195]

Welp 🤷🏽‍♀️ they really shouldn’t.

[@noraa.616]

If poor people really love children, then poor people should love children enough to NOT bring children to this world. Because statistically, poor people are the ones who 1) experience the most amount of vi0lence, especially in a repeated way (because they can’t move to live in a safer area, for example); 2) Poor people will suffer most from climate change. 3) poor people’s children will likely be in more danger to pred@tors since poor people can’t afford quality childcare, every time the parent needed to be absent (absent to run errands or absent to go to work, especially parents who have night shifts).

[@Childfree334]

Poor people absolutely do not need to have kids. Most of them are just birthing the next generation of wage slaves, substance abusers, and criminals anyway.

[@Lakishia]

they can have kids, anyone can, but the consequences they have to live with

[@ambergraham103]

Absolutely true! I have one daughter and my cousins and many family members have asked me when I’m going to have another one and they are all absolutely bat. Shit crazy! I can’t afford the one that I have now and no one wants to babysit. No one wants to pay for anything and everything is expensive. The excuse they give is that a kid need somebody to play with them have they not heard of Playdates? Way less expensive than a whole other child

[@JJerseyGirl]

I remember begging my mother for $5. to take swim lessons at the YMCA, she never gave it to me😐.Content creation is a real job, look at how much taxes they have to pay. Also, anime is fun to watch.

[@Michelle.1952]

It's odd that people under a certain age still think that content creation isn't a job. With traditional jobs being hard to come by and most low paying anything that brings in income is a " real job".

[@LisaFrank39]

They call you selfish for not wanting kids but don't see the selfishness in birthing children into poverty.

[@azureavocado5195]

Btw this is whyyyy so few ppl are “great” at anything. Their parents could ONLY AFFORD MEDIOCRITY. Think about that ….

[@cd6741]

Oooooo. This!

[@Childfree334]

Absolutely 💯

[@SunseedStarchild]

Say that!!

[@hopeking200]

Wow

[@misguidedpearls7456]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@prihollis]

I’m a singing teacher at a private school. I didn’t grow up in this environment and my parents struggled a lot when we were growing up. Once, you see the other side it’s hard to look away. Our grade 4s are learning robotics and coding 😮 Re the capitalism argument, I wouldn’t have a job if there weren’t extramural activities 🙈 I am a single woman and able to support myself from this and leave my abusive ex, whilst encouraging children, building their confidence and skills. Love my job ❤ Things cost what they cost, but the flow of money does allow people to earn a living wage and kids to have enriching experiences.

[@Di_777]

People having kids like life is a video game and they're collecting bonus points

[@ShineOnBenevolentSun]

I was childfree, but got 5 stepkids who had been the product of a fairly financially stable household with a union dad and SAHM who were also supplemented with church charity. As it's clear, that didn't last. I felt so bad, raising those kids as desperately broke as we were - they were ages five thru 15 when the crash of 2008 hit. But even as broke as we were, the kids still had 'experiences' - I found all the free stuff to do. The library was our go-to to learn about free stuff like free admission days to the pool (where I taught them to swim myself), museums etc. I filled out lots of financial aid forms, too, for things like summer camps etc. It's not fun and not fair, but if you find yourself broke with kids it is do-able. Plus, there's economy of scale after two; a huge bag of cereal costs just a little more than regular size.

[@1bluegreen2]

The chick at 26:00 was a hot mess. Her mother bought FOOD for hungry people compared to buying her presents...oh boy

[@bobbyray7558]

Exactly. She's actually the sick narcissist trying to live through her child. The world is done.

[@whoome1638]

I said this exactly 7 years ago when the discussion came up at work. I was asked to be part of the convo. They all gave me dirty looks lol

[@ec9833]

I’m still waiting for fathers to pop up on these types of videos, explaining the intricate desires they have FOR and ABOUT their children…and not just the mamas. Another myriad of videos on women not wanting ANY kids…as a mama who couldn’t regret her kids if she tried…I get it. We’re exhausted raising every single generation, throwing them out to a society that shits on everyone & zero supports that don’t cost all the dollars.

[@spb8039]

I would like to hear what men have to say too. However, men can walk away from their families without too many repercussions, so I don't think they really care.

[@6_checkmate_9]

A peice of advice that could've/will save so many lives and time is this: Ask yourself every so often BEFORE you conceive, "Do you want a child or are you just in love with the idea of one?"

[@coast2coast8306]

Yessss to the Mexican girl felt this in my soul 🇲🇽

[@kittyncocoalways1]

I agree with all of this but some things a parent can teach their child/children but definitely have a great support group

[@KFontLab]

The sad part is so many people got the bare minimum which why they ask silly questions like “When are you going to have more kids or a kid?” This should be common sense. Kids need more than food and clothes. They are developing and they need FULL TIME Parents!

[@sennataylor592]

I was very lucky growing up to not only have the bare basics like food, clothing, and shelter, but also I was able to attend as many extracurriculars. Nothing astronomically expensive, but my parents set aside enough money for swimming classes, art classes, and piano classes. I’m very very grateful to them, and now that I’m an adult I’m planning on waiting until I’m very financially comfortable before I have kids. Even if I only have one child, I want to enrich him/her life as much as I can.

[@ccd5942]

My mom is 62 years old and is still raising her 38 year old son and 28 year old daughter. Her oldest son 41 yr old is no contact living in Texas last we heard. My youngest sister with Down Syndrome passed away r/t covid . And right now my mom lives with me and my husband because of money issues and a recovery from a surgery she had. My 38 yr old brother and 28 yr old sister made a bunch of bad life choices, in and out of jail, drugs etc. My 38 yr old brother basically suffers from schizophrenia, bipolarism, & paranoia. He gets a check my mom is his legal guardian and she doesn’t want to be. She asked me and my 28 yr old sister if we would take over his money ( which means guardian ship also) like heck no!! None of us have children except for my oldest brother . We were raised in an extremely dysfunctional family and when she asked for me and my sister to take over guardianship for my brother I was soo triggered because I was a parentified child. I’m the oldest girl so I basically raised my two younger sisters until I was 25 yrs old and left the house. It just reminded me of how she didn’t want to care for her own kids when we were growing up and now she’s trying to pawn them off on me a second time. I have some trauma surrounding the kid issue and would need therapy before having one. Anywho I’ve lived the struggles of raising kids in and it’s not pretty if you’re doing it in poverty!

[@CordeliaWagner]

21 and sterilized 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 Safe and free from motherhood!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳

[@bobbyray7558]

Who "sterilized" you at that age? No ethical doctor would, so I highly doubt this claim.

[@MirrimBlackfox]

@@bobbyray7558 All genuinely ethical doctors should! At 21 she is an adult, and doctors should trust people to know themselves, they would have no problem with giving a 21 male a vasectomy. Your statement is *very* paternalistic, just like the doctors who refuse to sterilize women because they view them as eternal children and the property of a future hypothetical husband who might want kids. It is sicking. It is possible she found one of the rare doctors who view women as actual people able to make decisions about their own bodies. It is also possible she fought for years, saved up the money to travel to one of the ethical doctors and paid out of pocket to get a tubal ligation. Or she may have had a medical condition that's treatment left her sterile, or a genetic condition that made the doctor more willing, or any number of other situations. But more important than all of that, what does it matter to you? Why does her getting sterilized bother you so much that you felt the need to call her statement into doubt.

[@haute03]

All of the commentary on the original video was excellent, but the woman sharing her story around 19:18 made me tear up. You can really hear the hurt in her voice when she's talking about her experience growing up in poverty. My heart goes out to her.

[@lilliwilson]

Yeah, my mom had me very young with no career and was a little older (6 years older) when she had my sister. With this being said we got 2 different sets of parents (our dad was present for her not me) and we clash a lot bc of it. I tell her all the time the luxuries you have I never got and was told it was too expensive and we have different values as a result. I’m currently in college pursuing a degree where if I get married both me and my husband will be able to give our kids the lives they want and the satisfy their needs. I always said that I never wanna have kids w/o trying to do more than the bare minimal. I don’t bring it up to my mom bc it’s a sore subject but when you have kids you need to be selfless and understanding.

[@melizzamelizza]

It's a new awareness and I'm here for it. It bogs me especially seeing black women pump out more kids. Like stop, this economy is crazy and unstable.

[@Greatlakes-z9s]

I enjoy your videos so much! The content is relevant and interesting to hear all the different perspectives! I also appreciate your beautiful energy. Thank you! 💜😊

[@kirsten760]

Agreed, she's beautiful :D

[@LilLadyAy]

Children's activity sessions, the prices are horrifying! Mexican ladies, that hit home, I need to watch a 'sending money home' compilation, we are a few generations into this in my island fam. The grandparents worked horrible hours and lived on a tight budget but money was 'sent home' and set aside for the very expensive trips to visit then spend more on fam, who believe living in a richer country equals rich, now, 'cousins and second cousins' nobody has ever met have their hands out, yet all of us have to explain our every spend.

[@alexandergonzie1200]

I can relate to the woman at 13:44 my dad didn't give me a damn thing when I was growing up, hell, he provided zero for my basic needs, such as food and clothes, he wasn't involved in raising me, yet he'd give money to my cousins when he'd visit them. I remember one of them bragging on me about it, hence that being how I found out, I wasn't too surprised though.

[@captainfluffypaws7068]

8:17 I was shocked when she said people were asking if they're gonna try for a girl. You'd figured after the 6th kid comes, you'd be done trying

[@Shineynsparkles]

What they don’t tell you: -8 to 10k just to have a baby -daycare can cost up 2k a month - health care, clothes,food cost $$$ -education and entertainment can also cost $$$ We talking about 100k in USA

[@grandcanesque]

responsible potential parents would research costs of raising/having a child beforehand, it's all available online and in the real world just look around at the various lifestyles of people in an outside of their immediate surroundings, walk into various daycares and discuss costs/type of learning environment etc...

[@divalizzous]

This is why I support the removal of or the lessening of government assistance programs. People with $5 dollars in the bank and/or no job don’t think twice about having unprotected sex b/c they know there will always be assistance. They also will usually get help from family who may not want to help but feel sorry for the kids. When you hold a fire to their ass and show them that the security blanket is gone and that if they have kids at all or more kids than they can afford that it will have to come from their own pocket. It’s hard for money to come from an empty pocket. Why is it that people w/ $5 in the bank have 100 kids while those of us w/ a couple thousand in the bank feel as though we’re not doing or making enough and this is whether we have kids or not? I personally don’t have kids and have never wanted them regardless of finances, but if I was poor I would never put myself in a position to be pregnant. This makes no sense and should be criminal. If government checks and family support were to end, let’s see how quickly those “accidental” pregnancies stop. Idc if you dream of being a parent- if your pockets are broke you can’t afford a kid. It’s simple math, not classism. On another note, having kids is a choice whether you have money or not. I’m sick of parents saying that we as a society need “community” so that their lives can be easier. No one told you to have kids. Society doesn’t owe you accommodation for the choices you made. You knew parenthood would be expensive before you became one. You knew that this society was built on capitalism and yet you _still_ chose to have kids? Why? 11:33 There are white people out there with masters degrees who are “influencers” so why does she not mention them?? Miss me w/ the respectability politics. If a “real job” is going to pay you $50K, but the social media job is going to get you more than twice that why tf would you choose a “real job” regardless of what race you are? That’s stupid. We’re adults with bills to pay. If KZbin or Instagram want to help make me a millionaire then why not change my life for the better?

[@Dottiebonds]

That story 27:16 soooo close to home…carribeans does this too

[@isisathena5237]

I lived abroad for a while and in those countries it’s very important to put your child in weekly lessons and extracurriculars because they will fall behind if you just rely on the public school system. My first year working at an English academy, I remember a mother signing her child up for English lessons for the first time. The manager commented to me that she child is starting late, so her English level is lower than her peers. She was only three or four years old. I say all that to show that if you really want to enrich your children it costs money, and the world is getting more competitive, so you have to start early. A lot of people decide they can’t afford to provide their theoretical child with the experiences and tools to live a great life, so they responsibly decide not to have them.

[@shaqmar]

I really like you. I think your so pretty and I like your thoughts. You're doing great sis 🎉

[@MariaDavids]

I appreciate that thank you so much

[@samanthap.879]

Exactly why my husband and I have one and are done! We know we want to be able to give him everything we can and with my husbands career and me being a stay at home mom, funds are tight. With just one we can give him ALL of our extra everything. It doesn’t have to be cut into half or thirds or God forbid quarters. Not to mention my mental bank. I don’t have the mental capacity to give more than one kids my 100% attention.

[@sj5218]

Random but you are soooo naturally pretty 🫶🏾 your skin always glows and you have a beautiful smile and lovely facial features ❤️❤️ Keep doing your thing with content!!!

[@MariaDavids]

Thank you so much!!

[@sharronmccombs1716]

I’m convinced there are never encouraging or loving motivations behind asking this question. I’m child free, but both questions about when and why not more are invasive, and I think people mean it to be. In the case of parents who seem to comfortably and healthily afford their kids, no matter what it may take to do so, it’s like there’s underlying jealousy because the family is thriving. With not having kids and especially if you also have the nerve to also not be married, for women particularly, past a certain age, it is meant to make you feel unfulfilled, inadequate, or like you’re not complying with assumed societal duties. In neither case is it necessarily anyone’s business outside of whom you’d be having said children with to be inquiring about.

[@cvzdez]

OK me as a black woman. Oh my God, this is how I feel. And oh my God, how I feel that the men that look like me expect less for the children, not all but many. That look like them, and it's a Problem for me, which is WHY a lot of times there's a lot of Black men that I can't date. They are unviable for me. Because I have high expectations for my children on their experiences in life. And how I want to prepare them to be. Successful I am very stringent about my lineage and my bloodline. And where that bloodline will go a lot of people are not a lot of people are okay with their kids just sitting in the house all day, watching video games all day, learning no substantial skills that will project them into success. I'm not that person so for me. I feel like a lot of people will call me bushy or ask for a lot of stuff but I don't expect them to understand because they don't ask for anybody as much lo bars nice things a lot more things. I can ask for that I don't you know? I try to be reasonable but but I promise you. That 1 day my child will be an Uber successful. Person my child will be senator Amir or even the President and I will not be shocked or if they're like a millionaire or billionaire. I'm not going to be shocked because that's what I invested in my children to be you get what you invest if you're investing 5 cents and you're gonna might probably get a 5 cent child. My blood line is that worth 5 seconds? It's not worth. Just sitting home all day. It's not worth it for me. So why would it be worth that? For my child, just don't get it.

[@MsMookalate]

1:25 finally someone understands. I was stable (and then some) by myself with the one. I was able to work 3 jobs, comfortably, and if their father drop the ball I didn’t need to depend on him. Baby trapped with the second (& threaten) and everything went downhill from there. I know this season won’t last but it feel like hell

[@j.r7721]

“Baby-trapped”?! Why didn’t you secretly have an abortion if you knew you didn’t want a second baby? I ask because we women have ALL the power when it comes to choosing to have children or not. So why did you keep an unwanted pregnancy?

[@naturallyteetee2553]

@@j.r7721Maybe she doesn’t believe in abortion?

[@MirrimBlackfox]

@@j.r7721 Maybe she couldn't afford an abortion? Or she didn't find out she was pregnant until it was too late to get an optional abortion, or she lived some place where abortions where hard to get even before this year (some US states only had one abortion clinic for the whole state, and travel is expensive.

[@cvzdez]

My sister so The Thing is with me is. I don't want people to put their family, lifestyle and way of living as something. In my budget, you need to live according to your budget. And I'm saying this for immigrant families. Because as an immigrant, yes, we do. Send money back home right wherever home is. But at the same time, it can also be a downward spiral. Because what's happening as this person knows. You're sending money back home. And they assume that you have American dollars. And they're making families based on the fact that. Well this, I'm getting this money or there. I'm having, um, getting making expenses that they really can't afford. Or haven't found a provision to be able to afford. But based on you being able to being the source of income, and I'm not doing that. Isn't my responsibility to find your lifestyle? You're not pimping me out and I get it like a big sense of but I need to see some end point some place where you can be self-sustaining. If I can't see that within a timetable, or if you can't give that to me, I'm gonna give it to you and that funding will stop because when it doesn't. What happens is I am not giving my family what they can. We are not people that you don't have excessive extra money.

[@vonnii1013]

I had a friend who had 1 child when she said she couldn't take care of him so she let his father take over.....ONLY TO GET PREGNANT AGAIN SMH....so I asked her of u couldn't take care of the first one why get pregnant again....the excuse she gave me burned me up sooo bad that I hung the fone up on her and walked away...oh but it gets better...she went on to have 2 more by a guy who 1 didn't have a job, and was n and out of jail smh..... I don't get this mind set....I have one child and I knew when I got pregnant I was not financial stable to have him or another....I kept my son and made a promise that I wouldn't have any more cause regardless children are expensive along with time consuming.....I just didn't have it in me ..and he's 25 now and looking back im glad I didn't have any more but I still kick myself for not being financially stable at the time I had him Part 2 Looking at celebrities men who have a bunch of children idc if u can afford them why do u need a bunch of children by different women....or women like Keke wyatt she is crazy lol like why....sometimes having a bunch of children can be very selfish and harm them