People Who Deserve BETTER

[@InWinds]

The first story is definitely abusive, more specifically it's financial abuse. Controlling money and freaking out to that degree is definitely a way to trap their partner. With the benefit of the doubt he perhaps just has trauma from past money troubles he needs to work out, but he was still in the wrong, it could've just been accidentally abusive. It's okay to be married and still have your income and money seperate, but to that degree.. Him controlling her shopping to such a degree is also yikes. Yikes all around. Trust issues, abuse, and possible manipulation all in one fellow. Edit: to be clear im not saying it isn't abuse when I put in "with the benefit of the doubt." What I meant by that was that the intentions could have been from past trauma but it's STILL abusive no matter what, just abuse that wasn't on *purpose*. (Not saying that is the case, he could very well be doing it on purpose). And it's not her job to "fix" that or anything.

[@cristinaperezechenique5645]

She doesn't have any income at all, like nothing, so even if they wanted to have separate finances that could only work if she had a job but she is a stay at home mom, so she depends on him on that matter and he is doing this, if I was her I would pack my stuff and leave, I'm pretty sure that if she talk about getting a job outside the house he would flip his shit

[@electricdebt9607]

@@ghostofthemoon The husband never said that OP wasn't allowed to have an income, he just said that OP doesn't have one therefore it's not abuse, he was just stating the obvious in an attempt to hurt OP out of anger. He has the right to have his money go towards certain things. Now, when the husband becomes and asshole after she returns the shoes, that's a different story. The guy is in the wrong then. But not before then.

[@gumzee269]

It’s still financial abuse..she’s completely dependent on him and his money. Because he would probably be upset if she suggested getting a babysitter so she could get her own wage. He has the right to delegate money, but come on..it was a gift bro, she was being nice. Being so controlling your s/o can’t buy you a nice thing?

[@Nicholaspimpinsohard]

This guy is such a loser and he doesn't even deserve a wife. She had his kids and he's acting like this. He's a horrible husband. I love you Kyutie!! Have a great weekend!! Stay safe!!

[@truth11seeker11]

It's not just HIS money. The money is paid to him; but he only earns it directly. His wife has earned it indirectly by doing all of those things that frees him up to go out and earn the money, i.e., cooking, cleaning, washing clothes and dishes, having his babies, etc.

[@Kal-213]

Agreed. He is married to her. The money should be both of theirs, not just his. There is nothing wrong with a budget but leave at least a little bit of room in case there is an emergency. And it is okay to spend for yourself once in a while.

[@kawaiiamarii2240]

You made being a wife/mother sound like an acc job. It doesn't work that way

[@JJ-ne9jt]

@@kawaiiamarii2240 it is an actual job. Having a role like a wife, a mom, husband and a father requires effort. Just bcs ppl like that don't get paid doesn't mean it's not a job

[@lisikoshy8565]

@@Pinkalooo exactly! There are people who would do that for us but even they gotta get paid to do it. Why? Cuz it's actual work! If not, such paid jobs won't exist (maid, nanny, cleaning services etc)

[@TweSunshine]

She's not a wife in his eyes, she's a slave who needs to run!!

[@cheverse6299]

I learned from my grandmas that I should not depend in my significant other. It's better if you have a job because it would be easier for you to leave them if they turned out to be trash. Plus, it's so hard not having any money. Oh and also, let me add this too. My teacher also told the same thing, because her husband got sick and lost his job. She said she was thankful she had a job to help them because it's hard to find a job.

[@gojojov]

Same! My family always tells us girls (we are Asian) should always have some sort of income or personal savings if the first story happens or if they turn out to be trash after marriage. A tip for those planning to save or already have personal savings is not to let your significant other know that. Keep it a secret. Treat it as emergency money for when you both have a financial crisis, like your spouse lost their job and you need it for the necessities, for your own personal expenses or worst-case scenario, you got divorced and couldn't find a job immediately if you are a stay at home spouse (even if you have your own job, just save some aside for emergency use). Better to be safe than sorry!

[@hyunjinshair611]

Same! My mom always tells me that even if im married or have a child, it'd be a waste if i stopped working since i've worked so hard to graduate

[@zeroisme17]

My parents broke the cycle of "You should marry someone rich so you can live a comfortable life." And changed it to: "You should work hard yourself so you can save up and live a comfortable life." And honestly that's even better considering that we are girls (while my grandma even until this day, is forcing us to learn household chores for the purpose of serving our husbands in the future, which we respond with, "I won't marry a man who can't do his own chores since I won't be home most of the time because I ALSO have a job").

[@yiyangremus]

@@gojojov I agree, but not about the secrecy. You should be open if you trust your partner - which you should. If they try guilting you into spending it, then you just know they're bad right away.

[@cheverse6299]

@@zeroisme17 That line where they say "no man will ever like you if you're like that blah blah" is so annoying. Like okay then? I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing this for myself.

[@phoenix5719]

The first story is nothing unique to me. I've seen my own mother, aunt, grandmother and every single women of previous generations suffer from financial dependence. Women in my family did the unpaid labor and was entitled to only shelter, basic food and clothes till they get worn out. I've seen fights break out due to money. When I was young my mom kept yelling at me to study and now being an adult I know why. SAHW/SAHM is definitely not for everyone. I saw my mom going through horrors because she is not an earning member. Not something I will ever consider. Money isn't just a piece of paper, it's also a ticket to autonomy and power. Sorry for the rant but the first story brought back lot of dark memories. Pretty sure the husband is just frustrated from being the sole provider and now he is projecting it on his wife. She is his emotional punching bag and he knows she will be there since she doesn't make any money and have kids with her.

[@berylwheaten9385]

@Ameera I'm so sorry that the first story brought up painful memories 🥺🥺😭🥺🥺 I'm glad that you are now stronger and living your life to best of your ability

[@sustainablelife3603]

That's horrible I can only imagine how scary it is to be trapped in this kind of situation I hope everything is fine for you now and the next days that will come. The wife should definitely leave him so she can be free. As a person who loves my freedom I hate to go through this kind of situation from time to time there are people who demands me to do what they want even restrict me from things that I love and controls what I should wear, how should I act, what to think, and what to believe and sometimes when I don't do what they want me to do(most of the time I don't do what they want in the present day compared to the past) they'll get angry at me they expect me to act like some kind of robot that needs to please them and follow every single order they give me. I know how infuriating that feels that's why the wife needs to leave him ASAP and find a way to earn money to get away from him Edit: maybe this will come off as giving her an advice to abandon her children NO I want her to be able to support herself and her children too and also it can ease the struggle that her husband is going through since he's a breadwinner

[@average-d6u]

1st story: the wife did not do anything wrong, there something wrong that man, when someone is doing something nice for you, even if it's your partner, you accept it and say thank you, tbh I feel like there was no avoiding that whole situation other than to begin with a "thank you wife for buying me these shoes, you're so sweet", I feel like if she kept the shoes, he would use it against her for the rest of her life, like dude, c'mon some guys just have too much masculinity (my opinion) 2nd story: relationships should not be like a one-way street. When you're in love with someone, you show them how much you love them by giving them gifts, and she's right, it's not about receiving, it's about giving, so why didn't she give him a gift. Like, tbh, if I was wasting my love, my money, my time on buying someone a gift, just to not get anything in return, then I would stop too.

[@PippyTheFan]

3:31 I would say it, she's trapped. That's gaslighting and emotional abuse, *PERIOD* speaking from firsthand experience. And anyone who says different is wrong

[@piegirl8263]

That first one makes my blood boil what a hypocrite

[@The_Fairy_Tales_Always_Lie]

"I CANT BELIEVE YOU SPEND MONEY ON ME!!!!" *returns what he wanted to be returned* "WHY DID YOU GIVE IT BACK? THIEF!"

[@Pringleworm]

Hello! Have a wonderful day or night depending on your reigion.

[@The_Fairy_Tales_Always_Lie]

@@Pringleworm same for you:)

[@Pringleworm]

@@The_Fairy_Tales_Always_Lie :)

[@lunarialoonatic]

He clearly just wanted to be in control

[@angel-nv7jk]

Narcissistic behavior

[@MrAnanthaP]

In the first episode, he is just a control freak who always needs someone "below" them in status to control.

[@js8303]

Kyutie is one of if not the only KZbinr I’ve been watching since 2017 that I didn’t grow out of or get bored of. She hasn’t changed a bit, keep up the amazing work! 😁

[@js8303]

@Ba Gawk Thank you! I’m reclaiming my streak once and for all 👀

[@DeejayCombsGoesLive]

Trueeeee

[@Nates_anime_artwork_yt76]

@@js8303 woohoo. I'm a try to do the same😄.

[@Kyutie.]

awww stop it !!!!!!

[@js8303]

@@Kyutie. I mean it from the bottom of my heart, you’re the best🥰

[@nuttmare9438]

I'm so concerned for the wife in the first story. His behaviour towards her is unacceptable 😤

[@dragoncat5850]

No one in their right mind would disagree with you for the first story!

[@niteowl789]

The first woman should get a job so she can have her own money and let him find out how much child care costs. He'd freak out at the thought of her gaining independence, but he's exactly the type to wait until the kids are older before dumping her for a newer model. Her contribution to the "partnership" obviously has no value to him, she needs to realize it's only a matter of time until the value she does have, (youth & maid/baby-sitting) is fading. Get herself set up now. She's not treated like a partner, she's treated like an employee.

[@phoenix5719]

Even if the employees get treated like crap by their bosses, at least they receive paycheck. She's treated like a slave.

[@TweSunshine]

She's not even an employee, she's an house slave.

[@niteowl789]

@@phoenix5719 Yeah, you're right, employee was the wrong word. What a nightmare. It's sad she's so dis-valued but that's why she needs to get started empowering herself. It's only going to get worse as she ages.

[@gumzee269]

She probably can’t..she has to care for her kids too. It’s hard to get out of a place like this

[@midnightsarrow160]

Neither person in these stories is in the wrong Like-- Story one - wife just wanted to do something nice for her working husband, he didn't accept the gift and a reaction like that I'd return the damn shoes as well Story two - girl being a hypocrite, "it's the giving" then why tf did she not give anything? Selfish brat

[@mahnoorsalman876]

ikr. she thinks giving is only important when someone else gives.. aaahhh that story really made me mad and so did the first

[@Someone-or8tp]

The guy in the first story is committing financial abuse, so he IS in the wrong. He restricts what _she's_ allowed to buy and sees the money he earns as his own money, thus controlling her actions with it. When she bought those shoes for him, he clearly wanted them but also wanted an excuse to put her in her place for daring to step out of line. It's not about the fact he didn't want the gift- he DID. He just also wants a completely obedient wife that he can control. So when she showed she had agency and a willingness to buy something that he didn't tell her to, he freaked out on her and used the silent treatment after likely arguing in circles for hours (both are common abuse tactics). Then, when she returned them, he got even more pissed because he did WANT the shoes and he also saw it as another act of agency. He saw it as her punishing him because he knows he'd do that to her. He likely consistently punishes her for behaviour he seems 'wrong' and so he projects that mindset onto her, seeing what she did as more malicious than it actually was.

[@tylergood3773]

1st story sounds like financial coercion. Great video

[@shadowboxer1]

0:05: Yeah, she's definitely getting manipulated. 5:43: Uh, yeah, it's actually about receiving. She was obviously conditioned to believe she gets presents when her birthday of certain holidays come up (I mean, we all were to some degree, but some people are more caught up in that expectation than others). Plus, it works both ways. Why should he necessarily get her a gift if she is not willing to reciprocate in kind.

[@livangele7334]

This makes me even more grateful for my dad. My mom is a stay at home mom, so my dad is the breadwinner. When they got married, they made the decision for my mom to stay at home because some health issues were making her working extremely difficult. My mom has her own cards with access to the accounts and while my dad appreciate us telling him that we spent money (just as he tells us when he does), he does not micromanage our spending habits. If he has a concern, he will just talk to us about about it, and that's the end of that

[@DeejayCombsGoesLive]

People who deserve better… everyone reading this ❤

[@ATM2306]

Daily Reminder: That you are so incredibly special ❤️

[@Pringleworm]

:)

[@A_n_n_a_me]

Thank you, for always making the BEST content Kyutie. I totally agree with you on the first story. Being mother, especially a stay-at home one is HARD. She was doing something good for him. He's literally Gaslighting her.

[@Aerodil]

As a couple, it's not your money or your spouse's money. It's both of yours - no matter who makes it. She wasn't in the right to buy the shoes, since they agreed to a set budget. However, he shouldn't have been so rude about her returning them - he was a pri*k. Him talking about her spending habits was also really uncalled for.

[@randomstuffs3060]

unless some people decide to keep the money separate, that isn't always the case.

[@PinkPixelProductions]

They’re married, so yeah your money is joint when you’re married that’s why you get half your spouses money when you divorce

[@michaelengel3265]

it's almost no matter what this poor woman did it was never right in his view....I have to agree with another person...if he feels this way then she should start telling him how much her time is worth and pay her for her time.....This man makes the word asshole a whole nother word...

[@amethystanne4586]

The first story, the first was in a no win situation. She got fussed at for buying the shoes. She got fussed at to returning them. If she had not bought the shoes, but told him she came across an incredible bargain on shoes, but decided not to buy them, he would have fussed at her for passing up the shoes.

[@julie-fz3cl]

In the first story, the girl went out of her way and bought some sneakers for HIM, not for herself, so it’s not fair for him to yell at her like that. And as Ellen said, I think she’s a bit too dependent on him, and she should be getting at least some of his salary because she should be able to enjoy herself too. Sorry for a long passage. thanks ellen for the video ❤️

[@ihyycait]

FAV PART OF THE DAY!!!

[@lynchmary3831]

Sounds like my first husband. 3 1/2 years of pure misery. Over 50 years ago and I'm still can't believe he said he loved me.

[@yulingxie7855]

THANK YOU FOR POSTING!

[@Kyutie.]

NO, THANK YOU!!!!!

[@kamillatoth3433]

A stay-at-home parent is entitled to be taken care of to the degree that the working parent is. The wife from the first story should have the same quality of life as the husband. Similar financial restrictions and freedoms as the husband. It's not his money, it's the money he earns for the whole family. That's literally one of the main points of marriage.

[@nuwailaboorany6689]

Love your 2 second intros.

[@lynarystic]

First guy has got a personality that drives him to dominate people.. He's actw a very insecure person, that's why he gets so emotional when things don't go the way he expect it to. It wasn't about the money, it was about his deep desire to be in control of everything in his life. He sees his family as his property and treats them like one. Budgeting is about agreeing on proportion of salary against categories of spending. Prices fluctuate all the time. So sensibly an +% should be built in to budget for expenses. Even big business projects build in contingency into their project budget. What he has failed to realize is, there will never be more time in a day. He could have used time to focus on efforts that increase their monthly income instead of fighting/obsessing over small amounts or not being wise to factor in any contingency cost to take advantage of windows of opportunity. Make me wonder if he knows about the concept of equating manhours against money. Looks to me the wife has more financial sense to buy it as she knew he needed shoes. It's not like he will expect to go barefoot / wear his shoes to tatters before he can find another suitable sales offering. Many families have stay at home moms who focus their extra time on running a small business or something. Thus together they bring home more income and still the kids have the care of a parent full time.

[@demitraedwards8144]

This is why you should never be financially dependant on a spouse.

[@frenchyouioui4207]

You’re so pretty omggg🤭🤭

[@keru6925]

Lets all take a moment to appreciate her short intros!

[@shuheihisagi7514]

Yo, nice hair ✨✨

[@afollowerofchrist5789]

Her: Him: How dare you buy something for me with my own money?! You made a big mistake! That's stealing!! Her: Him: How dare you correct your mistake?!

[@PippyTheFan]

4:30 Good for both of your parents!

[@missincognito452]

That man is using financial abuse against his wife. Using money as a tool to control her. It’s not his money, it’s their money and she should have just as much free access to it as he does. I’m a SAHM and have two special needs kids. My husband has never said a word about any purchase I’ve made, especially if it’s for myself. I feel bad for that woman. What a terrible position to be in.

[@PratyushaMishra]

Honestly - the problem is that the work stay at home parent does is not even counted! It is unpaid labour - people take them for granted! Your food doesn't cook itself like recognise it!

[@solamano7239]

This is so poignant a story for me. I stayed at a friend's house one weekend in the 70s when I was around 12. I was amazed that her father controlled the money. Her mother had to submit her shopping list to him, even in front of me, and he gave her the exact amount down to the penny. Well, that weekend, we went grocery shopping, my friend, her mother and myself, at the local supermarket. Just outside the entrance when we were leaving, I found the equivalent of a $100 bill caught in a bush. I picked it up and brought it inside to a cashier in the store and she told me to keep it, that they'd had problems in the past over cash and for them, it was a case of finders, keepers. I gave it to my friend's mother over her protests. I don't know what kind of abuse she had had to suffer in order for my friend to invite me over. It was very sad to see her mother being treated like this. She promised to hide it from the father and on the walk home she bought us all ice creams :) I'm sorry to say that I have no idea what happened to my friend or her parents because shortly afterwards, my family moved halfway around the world and we lost touch. I've often thought of her and in later years, especially of her mother. I hope that she was able to get away and find some happiness.

[@Jimin-ci4ed]

I was in a friend group of 3 people before , and me and A would put effort and time in to the gifts we bought for B and we were highscholers without a job so we really did our best , our last gift was some jewelery that we spent hours to choose since she had a particular style and no it wasn't cheap jewelry . Her birthday was first Turns out she never paid A for for the gift they were meant to buy for me together And since A kept reclaiming her gift (just to see if she cared enough to even buy one ) she came one day with a plastic bag and yeeted it to A and said here's your gift ,inside was an old used jacket , A said she threw it away on her way home . We are not friends anymore not because of the gift but we stopped putting in the effort and there was not any effort on her side either so we just drifted away

[@winniethepooht5776]

That first story is 100% abuse. She's not allowed go buy anything so small without his consent?? He's already got her under his control. He's cut her off financially already, this is just a Segway into other forms of abuse. It was sneakers FOR HIM, and she believes she may have been at fault? And he gives her a list and forbids her from spending more than is on the list? And then gets mad at her for returning them and GETTING THE MONEY BACK?? That's mental, emotional, and financial abuse.(yes, that's a thing) She's already been manipulated, the poor thing. She is trapped, she has no money to care for herself. She needs to get separated ASAP, this is legal grounds.

[@katymbeke8400]

First story: He's controlling. I recommend getting a divorce.

[@raineblackstar3522]

It's a bit different but my mom does the exact same thing as this snobby girlfriend in the second story. She gets gifts from me for every special occasion each year {which rounds up to a total of 5}. I haven't gotten anything from her since i was 14. Said she'd rather spend money on trips to theme parks. So then where are those 5 Walibi trips I was supposed to get? I get she's low on money each year, but the least you can do is buy me a plushy of 5 euros or smtn. Or make me something useful like a mug with a duck on it. Idk, at least something. She always gives me the excuse that you get what you give and if you don't give someone something, you can't expect them to give you anything either. My birthday is next month, I'm betting I'll get an empty bottle of air, if i even get that bottle at all.

[@karasanchez9720]

Ahhhh ellen you are my favorite KZbinr I don't know what I would di if you stopped posting loved it Ellen 💜💜💜

[@iristella99]

Not me clicking on the notif knowing full well I'm on my period and would end up sobbing reading these stories for sure- By the way I freakin love your hair and earrings

[@lista2308]

This feels like finacial abuse. The wife deserve SOOOO much better than him

[@whisper7393]

For the first story the husband is deffinitely abusive since he reacted so poorly about and bad after she returned the sneakers. There's no excuse for what he did. But for the first part they did agree on a set budged supposedly due to lower income since only one person is working so her going back on her word was wrong as well, despite good intentions.

[@cerealkiller6663]

That last story literally ticked me the *&$- off

[@s.a.hbarmarymary9786]

Divorce....end story... Girl i believe you can stand on your two feets...you dont need a guy that trash you hard like that over a petty matter😡😡😡😡😡😡 Freaking dramatic ass guy dont deserve a sweet heart like you...Omg if my husband is like that ..his ass will get kick my me for sure😈

[@777letsgoo]

The 1st story is making me cringe😟😟

[@rupsaroy149]

i will never understand why some people think just because they are the breadwinner only they can manage the finances. its almost as if they're just earning money for themselves. i mean im not saying thats bad cuz obviously u worked hard for ur money but why did u have a family in the first place if u dont wanna spend a extra penny anywhere on anyone else. it just makes me so angry. bet this man is not gonna let his kids have snacks in the coming future saying its unnecessary

[@tracybarber-kier1669]

Marriage means that the income is theirs equally no matter which one(s) earned it! That money is half hers! This is financial abuse!

[@cartersmom0629]

She needs to get a job and put her children in daycare. He's in control of everything. What kind of husband says dont get anything that's not on the list and if you do, you pay for it. That's control. I don't think so. That's some next level controlling

[@kurisuchiinu1206]

For the 2nd story, I get it. I have been giving my ex hand-made gifts/cards while he gave me something I can't afford which I was grateful for. I realize later on when I was asking if he had kept any of the letters or cards I gave, he just shrugged and said he wasn't able to save it because of the flood. He was materialistic and he prefers gifts that wasn't hand-made but rather pricey or something he needs. And this not only happens to him, I stopped giving to some friends as well when I wasn't expecting something in return and they question me why I had to give them gifts. I gave them stuff because I want to. I wasn't asking anything in return. Would it hurt for them to just accept it?

[@MistyShadowsXX_Valdemar]

Second one: Girl, throw out the whole husband; he’s the childish brat, not you. He threw entire temper tantrum when bought and RETURNED the shoes.

[@MistyShadowsXX_Valdemar]

Edit: First story, not second

[@MistyShadowsXX_Valdemar]

Edit: First story, not second

[@CaroleWillett]

Honestly... buying and receiving gifts is sooooo much pressure. I HATE IT. I would much rather just spend time with someone or get a card with something nice written in it. The gift-free life is where it's at. XD

[@cja9356]

It's financial and emotional abuse! She should run as far away as she can.

[@ZombieLeo94]

The first guy is a lost cause.

[@michelleikoma2953]

This is emotional and financial abuse. It is clearly impossible for her to get it right. And her emotional state is very concerning.

[@notyouricecube]

People still want gifts? All I want is a day without people bothering me at all, and I'm excluding the fact that I have to buy gifts for them. I'd be more than happy to buy gifts for people

[@hellohello-fs7we]

I can't believe that they married each other, and then it just turned out like this

[@the_epicice_bear9524]

That first story: I would just *divorce him*

[@frith.calluna]

DING DING DING Ring the financial abuse bell! I personally think this is just a tactic to make OP entirely dependent on him. Make her believe she makes bad choices and is too stupid to ever leave him. He may be the breadwinner, but it's not just his money. I would've understood if she spent like 400 dollars on shoes (although this still wouldn't be an appropriate reaction), but no. This is a maaaaaajor red flag! Especially his reaction when she returned the shoes as well, wtf...

[@alexisprollyok8914]

i love that she said "i dont give a beep" like she actully said beep its so funny 😂😂😂

[@jenniferagu6590]

In the second story, the guy should have said: "How's this for a gift - I'm breaking up with you!"

[@moonlitreader3811]

Just divorce the guy if he can't appreciate your thoughtfulness

[@mariamtayara2005]

wow I really like your hair and especially the hat no wonder my little sis admires you

[@jeanproctor3663]

First story - Jesus. This poor woman! She needs to get herself and the kids out of that hideously controlling relationship because that man's behaviour is seriously not normal! She should consider teaching her kids that it's wrong to behave in that way too. He is vile and deserves to be alone for the rest of his life. Second story - good on OP! The "girlfriend" got what she deserved - nothing!

[@ashleylarocque4500]

I get the first one. I don't have much to live on so every penny counts. I have to be strict with a budget. I live alone but if someone else lived with me and used my money I'd be worried and stressed if he or she came home with a unexpected purchase. Even if it hadn't cost a lot. Even if it had been bought for me. Prices are crazy these days. So missing even five dollars can cost me big time. Like if I spent $30 on shoes and didn't have money put aside for them already, that would take $30 out of my grocery money or out of a repair fund or out of my Christmas shipping budget. I have two kid sisters to shop for plus my brother and my parents for the holidays.

[@channie7679]

I think a lot of partners who are sole earners in the relationship are so controlling and entitled that they tend to forget that the services that their non-earning partners are providing for free actually cost A LOT. Non-earning partners definitely have the right to a fair share of money from the earning partners. Or the earning partner can pay for house help, cooks, nannies, etc from their money if they don't respect their non-earning partners.

[@VanessaRodriguez-qk8vs]

The first one is such an abusive guy she deserves so much better

[@catherinetiernan5888]

You will be messing up if you remain married to this controlling bully. Imagine the life you and your children are going to have with this "man".

[@mlpsecrets7931]

I love u Ellen ❤️

[@Catharsis770]

Shoes are something we all need, the woman in the first story saw that a nice brand was on sale and bought a pair for her husband who needed a pair. Yet he complained about it-? I would be happy to have gotten a good deal on expensive shoes especially when I needed a new pair

[@PippyTheFan]

That first guy is just like my dad

[@babygirlismm]

Same but mom.

[@thatoneravenclaw7001]

off topic but i ADORE your hair kyutie :)

[@wynteradams8247]

I will try not to speak in absolutes but what I share is based on my beliefs and opinion. First story - Both, the husband and the wife, - mostly, the husband - could have communicated better. It's no problem that one person primarily handles finances and has things pinned to an exact number. However, it doesn't sit well with me that the husband calls it his money. He is controlling. I'm not saying anyone should enter a marriage with a Plan B or backup plan - that's setting your marriage up for failure, to put it bluntly. However, I think it is wise to have a separate fund for yourself, as long as your spouse is aware of this. Second story - You should never let someone dictate or change who you are. If he is a giving person, he should give. When he noticed it wasn't reciprocated and that it hurt him, he could have talked to her. If the issue continued (as I suspect) then it's his choice if he wants to stay in that kind of relationship; at least he would have stayed true to himself. Just my take on things

[@jessarie98]

First one, she needs to leave him. He sounds like a narcissistic brat.

[@crystalgemgirl731]

Lady in the first one, you're not the a-hole, and you can't win. Leave while you can. He's abusive and controlling, it won't get better.

[@zoellaadilkhan4929]

This isn’t related to the video but I’m so pissed rn because I’m studying for an exam and my aunt is over with a few other family members and she kept telling me to do things or get things for her while I was studying and then I had a ten minute scavenger hunt for the type of hair serum she wanted ( neither me or my mom use the type of hair serum she uses as I am the only female family member with thick curly hair so I would need ones to manage curls and my mom uses ones for hair growth whereas my aunt uses ones for dry damaged hair ) when I found one my mom had kept which was for dry hair and had given it to my grandma to use while she was at our house, my aunt kept asking if I was sure if this was a hair serum as the label wasn’t on and I said no so I suggested she wait until my mom comes out of the bathroom and ask her. Instead of waiting like a normal human she starts banging on the door and telling my mom to hurry up. My mom obviously annoyed replies wait for God’s sakes to no avail. My aunt keeps banging on the door and when my mom ( who is already ticked off ) hears my voice telling my aunt to wait as my mom would be out in a while she yells saying to my aunt to tell me to go back to studying for my exam that is in two days. My aunt then goes on about how she hasn’t been telling me to go study and I’m not listening. And I’m my family ( me, my mom and my dad ) I’m allowed to stick up for myself even if I need to be rude to older family members if I feel wronged or as though I am getting into trouble on false accusations like right now. I then was like no that’s not true. I have wasted ten minutes trying to find the perfect hair serum for you because you asked me to. I went and got you water. Looked for my grandma and sent her upstairs for you etc. So I’m not wasting time and ignoring you I’m doing stuff you keep telling me to do. And before she could say anything my other aunt cut in and took my side and told her to leave me alone as I was doing things she asked me to and to stop before I get into trouble with my mom. She also told me not to do anything else my aunt asks. After a bit I told my mom what happened but like not in detail just vaguely and she was like mhm yeah yeah whatever go study. And I’m pissed. So now I’m watching this video instead of studying for a bit because I need to cool down. Thank you for attending my ted talk. Edit; - I gave her a serum of mine which was for curly hair and repairing and increasing length of hair and she used it after five minutes of segueing with me on how it looks like a face serum ( whatever the hell that is ) because it has a dropper.......

[@vntajones]

Stay no woman should ever be a stay at home mom it puts them at risk for abuse

[@Theefashionkilla]

Yes, but some woman who are stay at home mom aren’t abused, like my mom is a stay at home mom and she wasn’t abused at all🙅🏽‍♀️

[@blackwolf542]

This level of financial control is financial abuse. He is using the fact he is the sole earner in their partnership to control her. You can see it in how he got angry when she return the shoes. She is acting outside his control and he doesnt like it so throws a tantrum. She has no freedom to purchase anything he does not deem worthy. This is not a healthy relationship and not a healthy way to manage money in a marriage.

[@MariaV0071]

Reading these stories, some marriages and relationships are just a continuous shit show

[@Michael_mouse821]

1st story, my opinion; EXTREMELY toxic and manipulative. My mom’s also a stay-at-home mom and whenever I come home from school I see her either cooking or calling/checking in on our grandma. Sometimes she’d still be cleaning the home and be extremely tired and we’d order food to eat instead of having her cook. 2nd story opinion; Dude, the guy’s actions were very acceptable and for the girlfriend not getting him gifts, even for his BIRTHDAY, AND HE’S EVEN NOT ASKING FOR MUCH, what the actual fuck?? What a shit girlfriend, then blaming him saying that her birthday’s ruined. Imagine HIM, not getting ANY presents, not even a card for his birthday! Seriously, what the hell? I went to b-day parties, ALWAYS tons of gifts for the attenders and I never really gave any real gifts to the host/party person. I always felt EXTREMELY bad and being the type to not apologise, I tend to hide the fact that I’m upset that I didn’t get them anything. Also, my friends get me gifts on the daily! So sure as hell I need to step up my game! (I mean, I gave the, 20 bucks, I think that’s a good start.)

[@tardismole]

The woman in the first story needs to leave, right now. He is controlling and abusive, and it will only get worse.

[@pdf6838]

She was doing a nice thing, but next time play it safe. And ask him first. Maybe have a talk with him about having her own allowance. A peaceful house is more important. Otherwise you need to get a job and your own money when your kids go to school.

[@lkayh]

I think the first poster should look up what it costs to hire a maid, cook, and babysitter, and present that shriveled up old Scrooge with a bill. And WHEN he throws a fit, because he will, being a domineering jerk, she can just stop doing those things. Why should she work for free?

[@lindavolp2534]

Perhaps since staying at home with the pre-school kids and taking care of the house is not good enough to suit the husband, where he can comment about he not having a job, she should find a job where she can work the days her husband has off and let him take care of the kids and house on those days. If he does not like being the "house dad" while she works, he could always work some overtime or find a part time job to pay for a sitter to watch the kids while the wife goes to work.

[@lindastuart2458]

The husband will be singing a different tune when the wife divorces him and he is ordered to pay child support and alimony. As for the second story, I’d be like the nice dinner was your present. Happy Birthday.

[@carolynmurtaza1180]

I would be telling my husband that from now on HE does the food shop. That way I 'can't steal any of his money and stick to it......see how long he keeps up his BS.

[@isismeow111]

The wife said he NEEDED the shoes!! So why not explain calmly that she should have told him before hand instead of blowing up? Like he needed new shoes anyways so i dont get it. It would have been a good investment

[@b-dog3207]

that is an abusive relationship. and that husband is toxic and having a power trip. i hope she left him

[@booklover1298]

1st Story: The husband is controlling and financially abusive. Wife should try to get a job so she can have some money of her own. She deserves to have a better man for a husband. 2nd Story: He made the right choice when he chose to stop giving his girlfriend gifts. She stopped giving him gifts. She didn't even give him a homemade card. So he shouldn't spend his time, effort, and money on her.

[@shaunahiggins544]

Damn if I do and if I don't.

[@rosebayliff229]

First story, that lady should divorce him. End of story. He’s toxic af.

[@theresaeng5330]

Have that husband have her go out to work then hire someone to do all the things she does at home and see what he would be paying out. OMG..it was shoes, and when she returned them, then he got angry. She couldn't win either way. it's sad, and I agree that it's NOT just his money, you're married, it's both your money, no she didn't go out and 'make' money, but she is working harder than he ever will in his life. Or hey stay home and do what she does. PERFECTLY.

[@jayden1977]

ive never been early lol if you see this i just want you to know i love your videos so much and your hair looks really nice cause ik you said in the last vid you wherent sure about it

[@oliviavv3706]

I love your videos 😍

[@pr0nar3ff]

The husband and wife are both wrong. She bought the sneakers without his approval and with his money, defended herself over it, and acted as though she wasn't in the wrong. The husband didn't show any appreciation for her buying him shoes, he said unnecessary things, he isn't considerate, and got mad when she returned them.

[@loudnierosius3815]

She isn't in the wrong. She's just as entitled to the money as he is.They're married

[@pr0nar3ff]

@@loudnierosius3815 I never said or hinted that she isn't entitled to the money. I said both of them are wrong for multiple reasons, without that being one of the reasons.

[@brentbradshaw7580]

Different POV. The guy believes he and his wife are a working team. He's has already explained where the money goes "the budget" and that they don't have much hence the need for such tight budgeting. Although not said, she more than likely has a portion in that budget assigned for her how much or little it may be but the "team" their family...is functioning on this budget. Then from his pov she betrays the trust, all the conversations all the explanations and I telling him the reason is "her feelings" which from his pov not matter how well intended is just not "logical". "She should know better" is what he's thinking. Worse yet she didn't even ask me and we're supposed to be a "team" is what he's thinking. Obviously she's thinking I just did something good for the man I love. He is seeing an unpaid bill this month or having to make up that shortfall money with extra hours next month. She's seeing, he never appreciates things things I do for him. In short they both love each other, and are trying to make the reality of a relationship work, but at this point in time they are both still seeing past each other unable to understand how the other thinks and what there true expectations are of one another. Communication is hard, especially when it's unspoken and based on anticipation. Honestly, if they keep at it, there would come a day when the budget doesn't have to be so tight, and acting on feelings and impulses for both of them wouldn't be so much of a problem. That's what it means to come through on the other side having sacrificed together and the relationship being better for it. Many of our mother, fathers, grandparents etc. that have made it, have learnt and know this true. I hope the couple is doing well and I wish them the best on this difficult but rewarding journey of getting to know one another. It's a lot easier said than done. Have at it 😊.