People Who Had an Incel for a Friend, What Happened?

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[Serious] Redditors who realized they had an incel for a friend - how did you realize it?
#Reddit #AskReddit

[@jude2214]

Best part was at 6:20 when the bot decided to stop reading the story and just beatbox

[@johnwalker1058]

That part just made my day!

[@aksh4wty]

I was so confused

[@samvalecaaguilar1807]

dropped some serious bars ngl

[@user-nr7ui4bi9u]

Bro shit scared me

[@alexthewolf3179]

@@aksh4wty same

[@antonydrossos5719]

15:00 "I find it both interesting & disturbing that incels of both sexes blame women." Definitely food for thought, here.

[@Thomas_Winters]

That’s true, isn’t it…

[@pizzashits]

misogyny is unfortunately still pretty common in western society, amongst both men and women. women are often seen as the arbiters of beauty and sex, so having a lack of romantic/sexual relationships must be the fault of all women 🙄

[@DameOfDiamonds]

Not true, femcels exists

[@turquoisesnowflake4613]

Well yeah, incels base their ideology in sexism.

[@SA-ey6nt]

@yas_jannz exactly, as a woman everybody thinks you own them something - and it's both "purity" and sex

[@Bushwhacker-so4yk]

The one at 25:00, I take issue with the fact that OP said his roommate had “no real hobbies”. DnD and video games and stuff are hobbies. They are interests. Being into those things doesn’t make you an incel, having an entitled, misogynistic, hypocritical attitude does.

[@madi5286]

Yeah some of these posts are lowkey just bullying. Like imagine if a hot girl liked these things. Is she an incel? And a handsome fat guy with a sparkling personality would never be an incel, but these stories sure do attribute a lot of the problem to fatness.

[@dianakosianka5344]

@@madi5286 I have no idea why these people keep bringing up weight. There are plenty of people who are overweight who find love and are kind and genuine people, and yet a lot of these responses keep using "fatness" like it's a giant character flaw and implying that anyone who's skinny can't ever find a partner or that they don't "take care" of themselves.

[@jen6893]

Exactly.

[@scarletjester7831]

Video games is a lazy hobby, in my opinion, and I enjoy video games. But that's not really a good hobby to use with a good amount of people, especially if you're trying to land a date or catch someone's attention

[@liviuganea4108]

No such thing as an incel.

[@crestfire8008]

I found out a Facebook friend was an incel when he commented on a news about a 16 year old girl who was murdered by a 22 year old because she rejected him. The guy commented on the post "serves her right. This is what should happen to women who reject men". I was so disgusted by his comment that I reported him and blocked him

[@richardcostello360]

I'm disgusted that you're being a woke Boi

[@qaiwiwi]

@@richardcostello360 bestie what 💀

[@QUEERVEEART]

yea that is so gross ugh

[@crestfire8008]

@@qaiwiwi he thinks there is nothing wrong with men blatantly supporting murder of women who rejects men but you will find these same men calling women "bullies" and "heartless" for making jokes about men's heights. Just the cycle of a typical alfa man

[@star-gutz9770]

@@richardcostello360 I hope no women ever come in radius of you, jesus christ.

[@LittleWerewolfPlushie]

Honestly, what do the courts expect to happen when a rapist is released from prison? That their urge to rape will just be gone?

[@SA-ey6nt]

They obv don't care about that until maybe some people die. It's obvious with the low punishments around the world

[@tmcttf8087]

@@SA-ey6nt Which is why none should be merciful towards the evils of this world. Look at how it is now. It's all because of trash like the government.

[@PetroBeherha]

I honestly think that rapists should be treated in the same level as murderers - with life in prison or the death penalty. We're too fucking lenient out here!

[@LittleWerewolfPlushie]

@@shrellan i know about that part but considering how likely they are to re-offend it doesn't work.

[@Su-wo4id]

I personally think people focus too much on romantic relationships, like they expect to have someone that give them validation. I personally think that been single is a blessing and we should enjoy it as long as we have it.

[@Lima_Lima_Lima]

Thank you!

[@monus782]

In my case although I’m well aware that there are many situations that are worse than being single and lonely (abusive relationships come to mind) that still doesn’t drive away the loneliness I sometimes have because I’ve never been in a relationship at all, however I’ve come to realise that maybe it’s much more important to learn how to live with oneself and keep lifelong friendships because that same loneliness will come back if the relationship fails for example. Listening to stories about disastrous marriages and ending long standing relationships has made me realise too that perhaps my situation may be a blessing in disguise if I let it, I may have more freedom than I cared to admit than when dating someone.

[@jen6893]

Absolutely this. Too many people (and I used to be guilty of this) make being in a relationship the be all and feel that they can't be happy unless they are with someone. I think it's important to practice being happy with ourselves before we can be happy with other people, if that makes sense.

[@Su-wo4id]

@@jen6893 totally, I personally think that expecting someone else to be responsible for your happiness is a very selfish thing.

[@yazajag]

Yes exactly 👏🏽

[@AnonYmous-mc5zx]

Met an old guy once who gave me a good philosophy on "nice guy"idm. "Don't focus on nice vs. rude, focus on competence." Basically, do something because you can, not because it's "what you're supposed to do". Then you're doing things for people because you just do, regardless of expected outcome. It becomes the norm for you so you don't give anything extra of yourself and you can just revoke privledges if someone plays games

[@thetherrannative]

This might actually really help me with a few problems I've been having lately with social confidence. Thank you for putting this out here.

[@ondrejvolecek7215]

Oh my... i sort of tried and still sometimes do live/ do things/ like this. It's just so, so depressing when the person you helped/are trying to help/intentionaly messes with you to tell/show you that you are wrong for doing something just because you can. Now that i think of it, last time i did it everything went good. My friend wanted to borrow an Xbox360 game and i'm like are you at home? Yes i'm, why? 15 minutes later i hand him the game at his house and also i ask for a game to borrow from him too. Three days later he brings my game back bc he finished it. I keep his game for 2 months and than he jokingly asks about it in a group chat with other friends. I don't even text anything back. I get up, grab the game as i've stopped playing it 2 weeks before. 15 minutes later i return him his game. ( : Edit: grammar

[@monetum1392]

@@thetherrannative Hope you're managing

[@Badartist888]

For me, and damn I'm glad I'm old enough that I didn't get caught up in incel boards, it was realising that good > nice.

[@magnarcreed3801]

I just do things out of instinct and personal interest/morals.

[@gavinziozios1431]

I hate to admit it, but I was an incel at one point... I hated every part of it

[@gavinziozios1431]

@Oluwakikunayomi Omole Definetly. That mindset made two of my years absolute hell though. Truly a low point in life, and a dangerous one

[@jvstvorothii]

@@gavinziozios1431 but hey, let’s look on the bright side. it would’ve been worse if you didn’t leave your incel phase

[@plague_doctor0237]

You changed and that's the only thing that matters

[@chuckyyes]

@Oluwakikunayomi Omole character development 😂😂

[@remn3nt266]

We are all proud of you

[@thelazygamer2195]

6:15 I think reading these stories broke the TTS bot lmao

[@dicktrickle1765]

No this Chanel is just kinda shit and it happens every video

[@voidtectonic]

At least this one wasn't as annoying

[@DarmaniX]

Uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh

[@vorpalhit5952]

Mmmm mmmm mmmm

[@LevvyJFoxxy]

Really creeps me out whenever it does it for some reason

[@kelsey_3325]

Hey everyone who used to be incels and have grown from their ways- I’m proud of you and that takes hard work. Good job

[@richardcostello360]

You mean you're proud of the brainless "woke guys"?

[@atavism-dream]

There’s no more growing when puberty is finished

[@andytorres6052]

Thanks, I don’t think I was an incel, just not ready for a relationship yet. I managed to find a good girl who don’t judge me based on my looks or do I do the same too.

[@chaotf]

Thanks however i wasnt really an incel just a volcel

[@acid_tongue_4315]

being involountaarily celibate is a choice. Doing it with a misogynist attitude it diff though, is the latter the definition of volcel or are they both? Genuine question :)

[@POIUYTREWQ62]

My friend once called me an incel. I asked him what he meant. He told me that my face was proof enough. And it was hard to argue with that.

[@edwardgaines6561]

Did you funch in the pace? 👊 😵

[@lefthanded5473]

Brutal. It’s over

[@madi5286]

For real you need better friends

[@m_winewood]

Wtf bro don't take that. I hope you're no longer friends with him

[@Bennahr_Fett]

you're not an incel. You're just a regular person.

[@nikkyk4839]

My friend once identified as an incel but after I asked him what that meant to him, I realized that he actually wasn't an incel. I then explained to him what incels are, what their views are and what they do and after that he was glad he only told me because he definitely did not agree with these people. He was just a good guy that actually looks after himself with a lot of bad luck with women.

[@themanwithnonamecalledwyat7575]

That's the definition though. "In volunteery celibate" Aka no girl wants you.

[@godbearxd]

I mean what would you call a person who wants to have sex but can't find anyone to do it with over a long period of time? Involuntarily celibate. The ideology has always been separate for me.

[@RiccoVanWilder]

@@godbearxd except, celibacy is the choice to abstain from sex. The terms involuntary and celibacy are contradictory

[@lukefilewalker8757]

An Incel, by definition, is a an involuntary virgin, nothing more.

[@yaruyaru]

​​@@RiccoVanWilder Sapient human discovers what an oxymoron is

[@whidbeyrules5566]

Incels make me laugh. I'm a fat guy. I've been on a large number of dates in every decade of my life (starting in my late teens). It has everything to do with not being an ass. Not any secret thing. Be nice, and not a creeper, women will actually talk to you.

[@coxmosia1]

One of the more sensible comments.

[@michaelrobert6386]

Your completely right. Projecting anger and antisocial feelings kills interest.

[@HoneyBakedHamlet]

It’s 100% true.. just ask my future husband. He’s beautiful. Sweet. Kind. Respectful not just to women but to everyone. Loves his mum in a way where it’s endearing (and it helps that my future in-laws are great people). Does it matter that he’s a chubby guy? No, I actually love it because it’s him. And as someone who prefers being big spoon, he’s so good to snuggle up to. @Whidbey, I bet you’re a hit with the ladies, and I don’t mean that with any sarcasm.

[@burak2160]

say that to a 5'3 indian janitor dude. you guys are delusional

[@hollybrogdon3970]

The guys who brush this off are missing the most important pieces of dating advice.

[@RatEatingChetto]

Used to know lots of incels in my past. Then realize these people are not healthy to be around. That saying,"you are who you hang around with", is sadly so true. I don't care who someone is, If your toxic your out!

[@edwardgaines6561]

_"You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with."_ -Some bald PUA who sells soap.

[@mocha8908]

@@edwardgaines6561 what if you dont hang around any people at all?

[@edwardgaines6561]

@@mocha8908 Then at that point, you are pretty much "x." A mathematical variable that can be anything and nothing.

[@mocha8908]

@@edwardgaines6561 incel that is a mathematical variable? Would like to call myself 0 but thats "negative" view.

[@cocomo3141]

@@mocha8908....... that actually kinda of cool...I have an x personality 😎

[@XanDerSon88]

“I would never do that to him” *30 seconds of the most horrifying low laughter i’ve ever heard*

[@darrenokami]

I see all these descriptions of incels and i see myself in these situations, but i would never do or say the kinds things they do. Yeah, im an overweight neck beard, but i feel sick hearing what these peoe think about women and relationships.

[@WobblesandBean]

Then you're not an incel. My ex was just like you, be was a virgin when I met him at age 34. It was nice for a while, until he took a job in the UK without telling me he'd even applied 😒 My point is, never give up hope. As long as you're kind and respectful to women the odds are good someone will eventually come along.

[@Emma.S.]

Then you’re not a incel. Incels constantly blame those around them for their lack of a partner. But you actually acknowledge what is making you that way and don’t point the finger. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, man. You just have to take the step for self-improvement

[@llawliet7118]

There's nothing wrong with you, babe. Being overweight or whatever doesn't make you a bad or “gross” person. You sound super sweet, actually. 🤍

[@mrfandangos.4394]

@@Emma.S. so, If i am Just there chilling, helping my friends and relatives, and not wanting to have any relationship because i don't want to, this means that a im just a normal person!? Sir/ma'am, thanks for the info (seriously!)

[@bigbabado8296]

Being an incel has nothing to do with looks. Elliot Roger was a nice looking dude but he was definitely an incel: super Misogynistic, racist, anger issues and he eventually murdered women because of it. As long as you're a level headed dude you're fine.

[@pinkanimositygaming]

My fiancé and I were both incels when we got together. It was really down to the fact that we were autistic, didn’t understand how to interact with others, and came from families that were ambivalent to our existences, making us crave some kind of validation. It wasn’t that we were hateful or had unrealistic expectations. We were just misguided. He had a problem where the men he had as role models were scummy themselves. Once I broke him away from those bad role models, a lot of improvement has been made.

[@danielhooper502]

Sounds like a super fake story

[@qc6057]

Got called an incel when a girl I thought was my friend recorded me opening my heart to her about my father’s suicide attempt with all her friends and Facebook and I was upset about it. Haven’t had a great experience with too many women after that.

[@Toneill029]

That’s just fucked up. Hope karma gave them what for after they did that to you.

[@qc6057]

@@Toneill029 I doubt it man.

[@melanievictoria2541]

@@qc6057 just wait, karma's gonna get her. maybe not in the immediate future, but she's gonna get f-ed in some way 🤞🏾

[@roderickclerk5904]

@@qc6057 his story sounds super fake or he’s leaving something out

[@qc6057]

@@roderickclerk5904 or you know, she could just be an asshole. Those exist in plenty in the world we live in.

[@natalieeuley1734]

I was a femcel and my bf was an incel. We are now super happy in a relationship :).

[@stuffz4040]

That sounds like a dumpster fire waiting to be lit ngl

[@amoghketkar2559]

Hope you develop a good ideology or just vibe however

[@TrilosonicResolutions]

You're lying to make inceldom less of a problem than it really is. People literally unable to have a necessary relationship for health and growth as a person. You were not a femcel.

[@buggie_plant]

That sounds actuakly quite adorable. Why dont femcels and incels just get together? Itd be so much easier. Pick me boys and girls too

[@alexw6849]

Femels don'r exist

[@wiggindorfthemagnificent]

Everything else aside D&D is 100% a tangible hobby

[@GinkgoBalboa142]

Yes! That guy sounded like complete tool. "Uh, what's wrong with him? He likes DnD, not REAL things like chicks, cars and flexing, bruh." He seems like a douche :P

[@irprince]

@@GinkgoBalboa142 I was thinking the exact same thing. Political commentators aside, he never mentioned anything that made the roommate an incel. No hatred of women, no feeling entitled to a girlfriend, no worshiping mass murderers, etc. Sounds like he has a very narrow view of what hobbys a guy is 'supposed' to have.

[@irprince]

@violet Well, his choice in commentators makes me think that he's right-wing, or at the very least right-leaning. That doesn't make you an incel. That's not how political ideology works. Neckbeard/neet? Sure. Not enough information giving about his attitude toward women to make a call if incel or not. The OP makes it sound like he believes nerdy=incel.

[@skeletonbuyingpealts7134]

25:00

[@magnarcreed3801]

@@irprince Depends on what politic it is exactly. If you’re right leaning as in close border, not misogynistic. If you’re right leaning G as in gender stereotypes and women shouldn’t have autonomy, misogynistic.

[@fourfurrypotatoes]

Luckily I've never known an incel. Thank God.

[@NoRockinMansLand]

Rude

[@mikemoggerson6651]

Most men are incels nowadays, they just don’t know it.

[@NoRockinMansLand]

@@mikemoggerson6651 nice jawline🤣

[@davidgarrett4980]

I know a lot of them its really sad

[@noahhess4955]

@@mikemoggerson6651 what does incell even mean?

[@firockfinion3326]

I feel like I almost became an incel; that I came close to going down that same path. I mean I'm still a virgin at 30, but I own that that's on me; I don't blame any women/women in general/anyone else for it. It makes me feel even angrier at incels, because I'm in basically the same position, but I don't take it out on other people; so if I can do it, why can't they?

[@notnicetohate4739]

Because they lack self awareness. And being a virgin isnt bad it's just been demonized by our culture for some reason.

[@futurelink8]

Same. I asked a girl out, and politely declined, then not thinking about it, I kept texting her to hang out all met with excuses not to go (I'm busy, I'm working etc.) It wasn't until her brother told me I was being a creep did it hit me what I was doing. I still cringe at younger me for that.

[@hikingm9720]

I think it takes a lot of strength for people to get out of that mentality once they start slipping into it. I also think it can depend on how you were raised and what experiences you had. Maybe you had some better role models than other men. Maybe you just have strong morals. Either way, I think you’re strong for saving yourself from that mentality.

[@manusperversionis3047]

Lol, you ARE an incel. Involuntarily celibate

[@goblin373]

Yeah, i know what you mean. I know that im boring, ugly, bad at everything and worthless in general and even I myself can't find any reason for anybody to waste their time on me. It isn't anyone's fault, I'm just a mistake. I know that nobody wants anything to do with me so I don't bother people unless i have to and even then i apologize first. It kinda annoys me tho when people are nice to me because i know that really they hate me.

[@fancyf33t295]

"Assertiveness is the difference between having the wrong key in a situation and waiting for the lock to rust off..." I felt that one in my balls. I'm using that from now on

[@Thomas_Winters]

Agreed

[@jessicajujubean5004]

From what Ive seen these guys fall into 2 basic categories. Nice awkward beta type guys who need a nice awkward beta type girl, and immature toxic losers with a sense of entitlement who are potentially dangerous.

[@bootyspoon4675]

Basically

[@magnarcreed3801]

Beta is made up.

[@godbearxd]

You still out here spouting that alpha beta nonsense? That shit was debunked a long time ago, even by the guy that created the terms. 😂

[@richardcostello360]

Some guys are just sick and tired of not being taken seriously by women..... thankfully most of us guys just decide to stop trying to attract women and focus on our own lives

[@SA-ey6nt]

@@richardcostello360 idk what that means, but no one owes you anything apart from basic human respect. "not being taken seriously by women" in incel language means "girls don't let me eff them to brag around about them like men do."

[@thylacoleonkennedy7]

I remember in high school I had feelings for a friend of mine and I kind of went about it in the whole 'be nice to her and she'll like you' way. One night we were at a party and I saw her drunkenly making out with a guy, and I thought 'hey, you've got two choices here. You can get really bitter and angry and think it's all her fault for being a 'slut' or whatever, or you can accept that at the end of the day you weren't open about how you felt and this guy got in first. You can choose to let it go and be happy for your friend". Anyway it's been ten years and they're still together so good for them.

[@justsomeguy6133]

My experience was that even if I did say how I felt, she still didn’t reciprocate. Yet as much as it sucks, it’s her choice. She doesn’t owe anyone anything.

[@KRYMauL]

This same basic thing happened to me in college, except she was projecting her feelings for me onto others and told everyone that she had a ~~fuckboy~~ incel boyfriend. I later found out that he was cheating on her and telling everyone that she didn't care about me. The truth was that they would constantly talk about me, and he would constantly try to sex with her.

[@kolonarulez5222]

A few years ago you could probably class me a nicegirl/incel, I've heard them called femcels. I can't say I had an aha moment or my life improved but I don't harbor hate or blame anyone for my being alone anymore.

[@richardcostello360]

I'm glad someone has brought this up..... I've seen more femcels than male incels

[@atavism-dream]

@@richardcostello360 No you haven’t because they don’t exist.

[@richardcostello360]

@@atavism-dream and how don't "femcels" exist? There are a lot of stalkerish sexist overweight females running around making male's lives shit/breaking up relationships because they are jealous of it

[@OvisArcana]

no lie, i used to not only be a friend of an incel during high school, but had a big crush on him too. i was too scared of judgement to admit it, but i thought he was super cute and he was always so sweet to me. he was weird sometimes but never scary or uncomfortable, just kind of a silly dork with issues, just like everyone in my friend group at the time, with the added bonus of being nice on the eyes then he sent me messages on facebook messenger threatened my family, and i had to drop him. i won't lie, it kind of broke my heart. i haven't talked to him since, so i have no idea how he's doing, but i hope he's well, at least :(

[@rylamistrandall6517]

Welp, their loss

[@roseyuen6916]

It is not your fault if you didn't know it

[@AD-cc7bj]

why did you lead him on

[@OvisArcana]

@@AD-cc7bj i think it's hilarious that you got that out of this because i actually have talked to him since posting this; he didn't even know i had a crush on him, and now we are friends :) i'm happy to know he is doing well now

[@AD-cc7bj]

@@OvisArcana what judgment were you scared of if he was attractive?

[@ShizukaHyuuga]

when they said they’d date me but I’m too young as it’s hard to go after people that aren’t your own age. like what about the fact I find them repulsive?? does that not factor in anywhere? they also claimed they knew women better than me… he was really weird

[@nataliep501]

You dodged a bullet!

[@liviuganea4108]

I bet you find anyone that isn't Ryan Reynolds repulsive.

[@lemonnugget293]

@@liviuganea4108 Ryan Reynolds hot as fucck so I wouldn't blame themmmm

[@zyaicob]

​@@liviuganea4108why assume she's talking about physical appearance when she says repulsive?

[@duckeh1952]

I have always wondered what part of them growing up makes them think their misery is someone else's fault? Because this seems to be more and more common, not just sexual relations but in general. Did their parents blame them for everything and they self sabotage? Or did their parents always pretend they could do no wrong even when they did? Like saying no to a child is a biggest crime and they become like this. Where comes this idea "I tell girl she's beautiful so she owns me sex"?

[@sharoncox1734]

I can only speak for when I got a little bit this way. Mostly just bitter and tired. I ran out of energy to keep reaching out and doing nice things for people because it had been so long since anyone invited me somewhere, said something nice, bought me a present, or anything like that. I don't mean specifically romantically. I was taking myself out to different activities every weekend, going out of my way to meet new people and be interested and engaged in the world around me, etc etc. I never expected to get something back from every single effort I made but after years of trying to reach out to the world and connect with people I got tired. I knew that, at the end of the day, if I broke my leg and went to hospital there was no one I could call to pick me up and give me a lift home. Hell, I couldn't even convince people to help eat my excess baking - not because it was bad but because everyone thought that I'd have lots of other people interested to hang out with me and eat snacks.

[@Darian1233]

I know one of the culprits are those rom coms where the main character is a girl who has a best friend who’s secretly/clearly in love with the girl, after constant advances and being told no the guy never gives up and stays by her side after she leaves the bad guy to eventually fall in love with the “perfect” “nice” guy. I think after seeing that on tv or movies it romanticizes the idea that if you simply do nice things and don’t give up then she’ll have to date you. I’ve never been an incel but I took some time to do my own study on the whole community, and honestly it’s sad I wanna talk to all of them and help just to show them they have someone on their side but once they swallow the whole black pill ideology it’s hard for them to come back. If you have time I’d suggest looking into some podcasts about the topic, hearing it directly from the incels is interesting

[@bookl0ver]

If you don't see women as people but status trophies, you assume you can "buy" them with niceness/your existence. And sadly, a lot of people fall into this belief. I'm not sure where it comes from though.

[@godbearxd]

@@Darian1233 I would consider myself one in the literal sense but not the ideology. I'm almost 30 & I've never dated anyone or had sex before.

[@SA-ey6nt]

@@bookl0ver misogyny. Is where women are not considered human or subhuman at best

[@santiagogarzon5312]

Maturing is learning that a surprising amount of people you'll come to know are incels lol

[@lordkronosxx7268]

That is nor what that means lmao.

[@marianecurilan4587]

SO MANY of my more-than-acquaintances-less-than-friends are incels. One thing is common among them, they respect only the women they know: their mother, daughters, sisters, family, friends(me included), and that makes 0 sense to me. I'm part of a circle of guys that love to talk shit about girls, their partners, their exes, etc it may not be directed at me, but it bothers me and I'm just there absorbing all of it. It honestly makes me think about how they would talk about me behind my back. Now, I only talk and hangout with the ones who don't actively participate in those kinds of conversations, and I avoid the others cos they just radiate an unpleasant vibe.

[@imagiccion]

There are quite a few people who view women as being in two categories: those they personally know and have some connection to and thus some measure of respect and value, and all those other women they don’t give a damn about. I know, I find it disturbing and struggle to wrap my mind around it too.

[@ravenfox926]

My DH had a friend, Mike, who was a big incel. Mike was in his mid to late 20s and referred to himself as a GOOD PERSON. He was a whiner, expecter you to answer on tje 2md ring and would whine that we were ghosting him. And he bitched about women. A lot. I even witnessed him on a kind of blind date where he thought the girl was pretty, but then started pointing out all her flaws when it became apparent she wasn't interested. Yeah, a Really GOOD PERSON.

[@zeroexea]

I think that a lot of these guys are socially awkward and then just believe whatever random things they're told like when they ask how to get a girl they say just be nice and they think that that's all it takes is to be nice and they'll get what they expect and it's the product of blind Faith and misinformation depending on the individual you even get a little sprinkle of stupidity or inflated ego

[@chillout8320]

We do not accept him

[@Call988youfuck]

Who the fuck goes on a date and points out all a woman’s flaws?

[@dinimueter539]

More than 10 years ago I worked with an incel. He was a middle aged man and quite average looking. He could have been just a normal guy with a normal woman at his side. But he was constantly in a bad mood, treated women based on their looks, had problems with almost everyone (landlord, neighbors, etc.). And he feeled entitled to be with a super model only. 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

[@HinataElyonToph]

“She also sits in her underwear most days playing video games, eating junk food, doing frick all except going to work and doing the bare minimum before coming home and doing it all over again.” Me, listening to this while sitting in my pajamas, eating a pizza, getting ready to play video games after I just got back from work doing the bare minimum like I do almost every day: “uh oh” Just to clear things up I don’t think I’m an incel. I don’t have a hatred toward anyone because they won’t date me. I’m very aware that I haven’t had anyone interested in me because I don’t take care of myself very well and have a lot of mental health issues and trauma and don’t even know where to start unpacking everything I just felt very called out by that bit 🤣

[@cannabotany]

My best friend, whom literally saved me from my ex, was nearly an incel when we met. I spent a lot of time hanging out with him and basically showing him that women are just people (he was raised by dad and was youngest of only brothers).. we eventually got to, and through, the crush/love phase and have been friends going on 13 years now!

[@diamonmagic]

The guy talked about at 4.45 secs sounded like he had depression not that he was an incel.

[@rosemosebose]

My ex told a friend of mine (that he was flirting with) that I had “friendzoned” him, a few weeks before I agreed to date him. Fucking regret the shit out of that whole relationship, what a red flag. I was young and naive but have a wonderful relationship now

[@magnarcreed3801]

Next time say he fuckzoned you.

[@TilcTac]

6:16. Cool story bro. 👌

[@LeatherDaddy97]

Met a lesbian incel once. They never saw the irony in that somehow

[@Zoologically_Explained]

He thought chickens weren’t birds because we ate them ????? I don’t know why

[@NoThankUBeQuiet]

I think that's just an idiot lol

[@bimates2690]

Your pfp matches your comment as an reaction to it.

[@Zoologically_Explained]

@@bimates2690 lol

[@dmwanderer9454]

We eat duck and turkey too tho. Are those not birds?

[@Zoologically_Explained]

@@dmwanderer9454 idk they must be lizards

[@marcuscaseus9707]

"Not all misogynists are inkewells, but all inkewells are misogynists." I have no words for this stupidity. Their predicaments are caused by their bad personalities, no?

[@emilybarclay8831]

Their bad personalities are often bad because they’re misogynistic and hateful to those who dont play into their fantasy

[@debanikgoswami4834]

@@emilybarclay8831 I am also pretty misognystic. But I pretend like a feminist . I used to be an incel few years ago.

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@debanikgoswami4834 then fix yourself. Idk what you want me to say

[@galaxypat247]

@@debanikgoswami4834 well at least you acknowledge the problem, best advice i got for you is to work on yourself

[@debanikgoswami4834]

@@galaxypat247 these whole manosphere(redpill/blackpill/mgtow) videos made me quite misogynist. I trying to get over it.

[@midnightmave]

My brother-in-law (husband's brother) has some incel tendencies. With his last girlfriend, he got attached way too quickly, spoiled her with gifts she didn't ask for and got upset when she pulled away. He started talking about how all women are only after money and looks. I offered to set him up with a woman from our church, but only if he worked on himself first. I said "I want to be sure she's not going to hurt you but I also want to be sure you're not going to hurt her so you'd better get your shit together." He didnt.. but he has a new girlfriend now and I'm hoping he will learn to treat her better.

[@devnotes00]

Incel aka when being a Nice Guy wasn't good enough so he has to go even further beyond.

[@jamesnorman9160]

Also, those guys who insist they only date 10/10's, when being a solid 6 at most...

[@emusaurus]

James Norman I have a friend like this. Always wanted a super hot girlfriend, but he is a 3 at best and has breath like dogshit. He’s now a 35 year old virgin who still lives with his mother.

[@possibleproblem479]

i dont date out of a legitiment fear of harsh rejection or being accused of sexual assult/rape. but i dont hate women or discriminate. hope im not an incel for that. either way im still staying single for life. im happier that way anyway.

[@OreoRanger2210]

A wise person once said this "Dating sucks, the person either makes you feel bad by saying no or terrifies you by saying yes."

[@possibleproblem479]

@@OreoRanger2210 exactly. ive only been in one relationship and had this constant feeling of needing to keep up with each others good nature. its like social obligation to one up or else you're the shitty partner who doesnt put in enough effort. dont get me wrong, we're still great friends. but we both agree that its too stressful to try and revive anything.

[@edwardgaines6561]

Careful. That defeatism you have will seep into other parts of life as well. And all without you knowing.

[@edwardgaines6561]

The coin of effort has two sides: Failure & Success. If you're going to put yourself out there, (Effort) then you can't have one without the other.

[@possibleproblem479]

@@edwardgaines6561 im legitimately happier single. people tell me i have a problem with having zero desire for relationships or sex. but ive actually learned to be happier this way. its sooo much better than being stressed all the time afraid of miscommunication or misunderstanding that could cause a dispute. the majority of my friends are women to so its nice to be able to talk to them without worrying the other partner thinking its anything but platonic. my brother was also accused of rape (not legally) and everyone thinks hes a rapist now because his douchy ex spread a bunch of rumors when they broke up (they were together for a week and banged once which was entirely consensual).

[@gsaucegaming6635]

“I wouldn’t do that to hi mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”

[@kemarisite]

Strange that a story late in the video talks about the incel listening to Jordan Peterson. If the person is an incel, they obviously aren't LISTENING to Jordan Peterson, because his talks could all easily be titled "Don't be an incel-type person."

[@enthiegavoir5955]

Same here, I personally have issues with the guy but I thought he preached a lot about how it's your responsibility to improve yourself. Can't imagine how that gets twisted with incels.

[@BlindStarLily]

The story about Ray fucking terrifies me. Not only because it’s a horrific story and those girls did not deserve what he did to them, but because my old high school school bus driver, Ray, acted like a slightly toned down version of this toward me when I was fourteen and a friend when they were fifteen. He drove a bus specifically for disabled kids (I’m blind and my friend is paralyzed below the knee). I reported him for making inappropriate comments about me when it happened and he didn’t get fired, nor was he fired when my friend later went on to report the same exact thing. Needless to say, listening to that particular story fucked me over for a few minutes-

[@beganitdidnt6535]

if u had an incel for a friend how many times did you make him 3rd wheel like the good friend you are

[@pantherman8719]

I've been 3rd, 4th, 5th lol.

[@MrMrrome]

I dont understand how you can hate the modern woman and still want to have casual sex with them. Just ignore them, and focus on your own happiness. It's that easy to not be a hypocrite.

[@jstaprankbro7721]

Most incels don't obsess over sex it's more about companionship

[@myremedy7691]

Doesn't make the way they go about pursuing that any less unsavory.

[@BBB-Schmuck]

I had a friend named Eliot who called himself a " supreme gentleman " We know how he ended up.

[@obinnanwakwue5735]

6:19: TTS was like (beep) no I'm not doing this, next!

[@joelgordon7814]

I’ve never experienced those feelings; all I really want is a little companionship.

[@JaelinBezel]

Me too. That’s why I have a cat.

[@chillout8320]

Good luck bro. Black pill will come to collect

[@joelgordon7814]

@@chillout8320 says you. I’m almost certain that I’ve conquered this problem already

[@miriam3848]

Believe it or not, incel thingy was first founded by a pchycologist as a support group for lonely men... It got out of control pretty quickly

[@laurahuynh8333]

I also heard the person that founded the inception movement was a woman.

[@Idkwhatthisis551]

@@laurahuynh8333Ironic

[@lauraanderson8785]

It was originally founded by a lonely woman who wanted to support others like her, it's sad that it turned into this

[@Pleebian94]

​@@lauraanderson8785Right?! See a lot of undiagnosed Schizophrenics and Bipolar guys in that sphere. Not to mention a good chunk of these guys are on the spectrum.

[@yairehy]

Quiet guy I sat next to in class (that I occasionally said hi to) threw a fit when I started dating a popular guy. Apparently sitting next to him and saying hi once every other month meant my body was his property. He's still awful, single and I saw him online a year ago calling women w ____ s for not giving him attention like he demands. I'm expecting him to end up on a SO registry someday. Anyways, I learned that desperate lonely men will see even the slightest polite interaction as an invitation and they like attractive women but get upset if women like attractive men. We can't have preferences since we're objects for lonely men that have nothing worthwhile to offer in a relationship and they lack so much self-awareness that they don't see this. Also, I might come off as mean and will have both men and women attacking me... But mutual physical attraction matters. Not just one side being attracted while the other "settles" and hopes for the best. Don't settle to be "nice" and don't push this belief on an entire demographic. Women like men they're attracted to just like men like women they're attracted to. So this whole "Personality is the only thing that matters" nonsense that some self-proclaimed spokespeople for women are spreading around are lying and don't speak for all of us. Personality is super important (even more than looks) but if you're not ATTRACTIVE to the person you're attracted to, stop whining. Also, being conventionally attractive doesn't mean you'll be attractive in everyone's eyes. Attraction is different from person to person. Attraction AND personality matters and people need to stop trying to play nice about it. We've all got preferences and this "we women love anyone that's nice ❤" has random men like this thinking we owe them dates for just opening the door for us. These "nice little lies" hurts both sides. There's literal stats showing most women find most men unattractive 😂. C'mon. This is leading the desperate lonelies to really think just being "nice" (which is bare minimum) gets them physical access and that we owe them that.

[@masterwerneck]

You are so dawm right! As an man who struggled to get women myself i totally related to your comment, back then i would get very bitter hearing the "just be nice" thing when the women who rejected me clearly didn't find me physically appealing. I get gaslighting vibes even nowadays when i read some comments like this on internet from people "trying" to help incels.

[@pantherman8719]

It is what it is. He just has to move on. I definitely go by a saying. "Nice gets a guy nowhere".

[@JJ-ml7pq]

Anyone else getting a weird stutter at around 6:16 in the video? It's like this kind of thing happens once a video for the entire genre of "reddit post compilation" videos. Idk if it's just the one channel or what but it's super frustrating because it always makes me think my device is about to bork out.

[@shipitdontsinkit8346]

Yeah, its pretty common

[@Cumbrianlad3363]

I thought that my life was sad but now I feel more confident

[@Jenna2k]

"Need a nice girl to fix him" then he needs to get a therapist. It's not our job to fix strangers. If it was that's all we would have time to do.

[@debanikgoswami4834]

Incels are just unlucky people(I used to be one). I almost faced 15 rejections before getting a girlfriend. They are not misogynist , they are frustrated . Hope they soon find a girlfriend .

[@umbrabruma7255]

You fix chad after he abuses you though.

[@saraangel6696]

Thanks to this, I am now realizing that I had a crush on an incel about 10 years ago (I had no idea what incel is) and we just stayed as friends because he friendzoned me (I guess I am too fat and too ugly for him), but he would always complain to me about women and say "all women are the same, they suck". Over time, he stopped talking like that but i was already too disenchanted with him. We don't talk anymore. I hope his girlfriend is treated better than that.

[@adambaker6794]

16:26 yeah and every person with social anxiety says "if only it was that fucking easy?"

[@greenxenon4]

I am so scared that I am going to become/am an incel but listening to theses stories makes me feel better, thank you

[@acid_tongue_4315]

Respect women, and you will never become an incel. Know these things- 1)There are women just as desperate for affection as men, they can often be anti social, and thats why you really never meet em. 2) Women are not puzzles or a different species. They are like you. There are women that think and feel EXACTLY like you. Dont alienate em 3) learn to recognize actual signs of attraction that women may show, and try not to mistake their basic kindness for infatuation 4) respect yourself, take care of your body, be in good health, because everyone deserves that 5) Refute ALL of the alpha male and chad shit. As a woman: I have met more women who like nerdier soft spoken guys compared to the loud stereotypically masculine guys. We are more likely to be afraid or on edge around those guys, and that is NOT a good thing. Studies show that women appreciate men with more traditionally 'feminine' traits, like knowing how to cook, willing to take care of children, able to open up about emotions etc; Know these and youll be good, you deserve happiness dude. Best Wishes! :)

[@debanikgoswami4834]

Go out and talk to women . If you find one attractive,ask them out. You will not loose your virginity until you take the risk of getting rejected. I used to be an incel.

[@greenxenon4]

@@debanikgoswami4834 lol I asked a girl out that I liked for a few months a month back, we hung out and stuff, I asked, she said no but we are still close friends and I’m glad I tried. Your advice is def true it hurts a shit ton but it’s true

[@greenxenon4]

⁠@@acid_tongue_4315 May of screwed up step 3 but not in a bad way, otherwise I have already followed them so I am happy about that. Thanks for the list!

[@TwistedLullabies]

You're already one

[@silversrc]

Maybe I’m just being a doomer but sometimes u can rlly tell which ones are fake. It’s built and worded as a mini story where there’s a certain “lesson” that the person telling the story wants to get across with the reader. It either ends in one or two ways 1. The person the stories about follows the advice/lesson or realizes what they’re doing and has a happy ending and is basically a “chad” in current day 2. They don’t follow the “warnings” and either do some horrible thing, or express the same exact classic beliefs seen in hundreds of other stories. In this case the “women owe me sex”

[@jayxfrost8987]

7:19 - "That gave him the idea that women owed him sex simply for existing." -- Yeah, that's an accurate sum up of incel mentality.

[@masonreppeto882]

It's ironic that redditors are complaining about incels. Especially for the reasons that they're complaining considering the platform they're on.

[@hakeempickering5986]

You don't talk to people who you're not interested in you don't talk to strangers for no reason and you definitely do not start a relationship at work it will always end bad I don't know how you guys didn't learn this in high school

[@SpeedUpThatComputer]

Some of the statements are stupid like "all incels are misogynists". Generalizations are never good and it makes us no better than the group of incels who happen to hate all women to just out and say that all incels are misogynist. I'm an incel myself but it's not because of women but rather just how my life is currently. The situation in my life is not compatible with having a relationship with anyone and even if i wanted one i could not maintain one as one might expect or afford one unless the woman i get with is low maintenance and don't mind not being able to go on a date often. To me the woman i get with has to be a best friend first and foremost. She must not be a hinderance in my life but rather help me grow as a person and i hope i do the same for her. If we have sex then so be it but it's not important or expected. It's just a fun thing to be done together if both are into it. All that really matters is enjoying our limited time on this planet together. Adventures are good too when possible (i do like adventurous women btw) TL:DR the point is just don't generalize anyone or any group. You can be an incel without hating women, being entitled, etc. You can also be incel without blaming women as well. Some incels focus on the guys they view as "chads" as those responsible for their problems and theres those like me are what i'd call situational incels where it's just life at the moment that makes it hard to get with women and it's no one else's fault nor is it a fault of a system. Also you can become voluntarily celibate once you change your mindset to not care about having sex with anyone. Life gets immediately better when you do so.

[@Mavuika_Gyaru]

Incels are misogynistic

[@nacidoparaestorbar7148]

​​@@Mavuika_Gyarunot all of them I was what you can call a femcel. I never blamed men or woman for that, only myself. Till i got my sjit together and lost my virginity at age 24

[@crashfan123]

It's interesting how people held on to their bitterness. I got rejected all the time and basically just stopped caring. I was basically mordecai in high-school too....always had a crush on someone. I get how it can be lonely but it's honestly fun to be able to do whatever you want without having to worry about another person's imput, or how other people perceive you. Just my take.

[@acid_tongue_4315]

I love that you compare tourself to mordecai, that brings me so much happiness and I dont know why. It good u dont let rejection keep you down! :)

[@tangbein]

But what would make the difference between an incel and a mgtow? And if there are some viewpoints that overlap, does that mean that some incel views are valid?

[@Flesh_Wizard]

mgtow is Men Going Their Own Way. They believe it's just not worth it nowadays, and they peace out. Incels give in to hatred and envy and end up as bitter people

[@QuietGuitaristfan]

I remember as an 18 year old kid, I was at a point in my life where I asked out a girl for basically the first time. I felt on top of the world at the time. I went from being a shy fat kid to a dude that could run 10 miles on any given day. I was making a shitload of friends, and was hanging out with my buddies all the time. I finally decided to ask this girl out, and she said yes, but like it was just a "friend date". She kept brushing off the date, and I finally confronted her and got upset when she just kept pushing it off. I was angry and got angry and started ranting to our mutual friend. He took it like a champ and just listened, but looking back, he obviously thought I was cringe. Anyway, she finally caved and we went out. Had a good conversation, but didn't go anywhere. I was still infatuated, but found out that she was a terrible person who was gossiping about my brother, who was the most chill non-confrontational guy in the world. I cut off all ties with her, and eventually so did everyone else. I later matured and realized that women aren't worth the trouble, and that if she rejects me, there are better things ahead. I also realized that if you put someone on a pedestal, they will always fall off.

[@lauraanderson8785]

Well I'm glad that you now know that it's inappropriate to get angry at someone for pushing off a date, since it means that they're not very interested in it. But it's even more inappropriate to pressure them to the point that they give in and do something that they don't want to do (i.e. go on the date). It could've been scary from her point of view. I've been on the receiving end of guys getting angry at me to the point that I relent and go on a date with them, and I now regret not voicing how uncomfortable and scared they made me. I also don't know if she's actually a terrible person if you don't consider yourself one either, immaturity is kind of expected at 18 so if someone gossips at that age, I wouldn't label them a bad person if they grow out of it. If it continues well past that age, then maybe. I can forgive most mistakes people make in their teens, unless it's something seriously monstrous. I don't mean to be a jerk, though, just giving my opinion.

[@justsomemothmanwithinterne8118]

Don’t have any incel friends, but I have seen a few incel campers

[@WobblesandBean]

Incel campers...?

[@sarina1234ful]

@@WobblesandBean call of duty/shooter games term. It's a player that stays in one spot to get easy shoots on other players or something like that idk.

[@OrangeSpaceNewt]

This incel is a former friend of mine, and he thought by being my friend first would lead to intimacy. I was treating him as I would a lady friend, but he took that the wrong way just because I was lacing my legs across his, you know, how girls always do when they're best friends. I'd untwine our legs because I'm always expecting to stand up every time his mom came in to talk to either him or me. He'd use that argument in the wrong way against me. I almost gave in to him before I realized he was not supposed to be treating me like sh*t and using my insecurities against me. I tolerated him since high school until last year after I found out he's a conglomeration of an incel, a creep, and a predator for both women his age and younger blood. How I found thus out was because I thought it was suspicious of him to hyperfocus on anime based in high-school and had upskirt shots of the under-age, I ignored those parts because I was more focused on the harmless side characters and the actual story. Some of those stories were sub-par now that I think about it. Another way I found out he prefers younger blood was when I found out what he hit the like button on on his Twitter. Old me would have excused him if he actually hurt younger blood, but new me would straight up neet him from existence. He also knew I was a victim. And he used some of what I wanted to forget against me. I'm no-contact EVER with him, and I feel sorry for any young woman who gets close to him.

[@Cody-i9w]

Sounds like you used him for attention then when you didn't reciprocate he called you out on it.

[@OrangeSpaceNewt]

@@Cody-i9w of course you'd think that. You're not the one who experienced the situation. You don't know the whole story.

[@Cody-i9w]

@OrangeSpaceNewt sounds like you are not telling the whole story . There's always two sides of a story, and details always get left out that make you look bad.

[@OrangeSpaceNewt]

@@Cody-i9w at the time of writing my comment I had bad memory recall because of how recently I cut him out of my life. The only thing on my mind was being absolutely disgusted I was with how he likes underage girls.

[@Hehehehhehehehehehehehhe78]

Not an incel i just prefer to be alone

[@JG-vh1xc]

6:16 this man straight talkin printer

[@SandraSine40]

my best friend once got into an online group that played OW, in a group, there was one stereotypical obese neckbeard incel, nice most of the time but didn't take a hint that my friend is not interested, even after we moved when we finished college, we pretty much got rid of him when last year my friend had a birthday and guy invited himself for a few days, on the b-day we took a hike, that was kind of hard for him since it took us 5 hours, it was summer, medium-hard terrain, little to no water, and he was fricking obese, after that he gave up on hanging out in person lol

[@alisterfolson]

In our 20's: roommates, odd guy but whatever In our 50's: I'd retired military, wife/kids etc but he's alone/still odd. Had to ghost him when he wanted to monopolize my time during a family trip back home. I had an hour to spare but it wasn't enough. I ended up ghosting him.

[@j.d.s.1837]

Normie life. Odd = ugly for anyone missing the point.

[@rosesarered2285]

“I will never do that to him mm mmm mmm mmm mmm” That doesn’t sound suspicious at all

[@billowspillow]

Thank goodness I never got as bad as many of the people described here but I definitely had a strong "nice guy" phase that lasted to my mid-20's. What pulled me out of it was some stuff written by a Christian author about the hearts of men vs. the hearts of women, and it opened my eyes to seeing women as people instead of a prize, to seeing masculinity not as "macho jerks" but as confidence and integrity, and other things. It literally changed my worldview overnight. The irony is that I shared the same material with other guys I saw struggling with what I had struggled with and none of them got it the way I did. Most did nothing with the information; one said he used the "mindblowing insight" it gave him to pick up women with increased success. I guess it goes to show that every tool can be used for good or evil . . .

[@combinecommando001]

Used to hold a lot of the views those people had. But I grew up, started to have more self-confidence after working out on the regular and seeing the results in the mirror. it's absolutely true that having some self-respect and self-confidence is a major boost in not having those views. Sure, I'm not dating yet but I know it's because I don't socialize as much as I should but I'm ok with it, the fault is on me, not anyone else's.

[@monus782]

1:30 at least everything worked out in the end. 2:19 I thought this one wouldn’t end well, so glad to hear that I was wrong. I have some similarities to these guys (mostly that I’m a virgin while being almost 27 and maybe this was in part because I was super religious in my high school and college years, I wasn't trying to get laid or go to parties) but I really think that what makes someone an incel is their attitude, not their relationship status or history and main difference is that I just internalize everything instead of blaming others as I feel that ultimately there's no one but myself to blame (although I sometimes feel that my religious past screwed me over in some things). Although I think I have average looks (while feeling handsome sometimes) it’s my personality that needs the most work as I felt lost and without much of a sense of purpose in my mid 20’s after I left my church (I felt that there was nothing that I could bring to the table when dating, so why even bother?) and in part because of the pandemic I don’t go out much, so there’s that. Maybe ultimately it’s mainly improving my mental health and getting my shit together. 12:16 I suspect that guy just became the PUA/redpill kind when he became more successful in his dating life, I don’t envy him. 18:00 I never understood that mentality as a guy.

[@ShyGuy83]

Incel: (Sigh!) Why can’t I ever find a pretty girl in my life to make into a sweetheart? :_( Average Looking But Sweet Female: Hi, are you feeling alright? Say, you’re kind of cute. Incel: Be gone, thot! Can’t you see I’m moping here, waiting for Ms. Right to show up? (Female scoffs and walks away angrily.) Female: You know, it’s no wonder people don’t like you and call you a virgin loser! Incel: Lots of people like me! (To himself) Just not the ones I want to like me. :_(

[@comfysituations3566]

If you don't like someone, you don't like someone. You can't force yourself to date someone you're not into, and expecting that of anyone is a little creepy to be honest.

[@patatayt1919]

Dude... that doesn't happen in reality. That "Average Looking but Sweet Female" doesn't exist in real life. Why did you make this comment? To prove a point? Using an example of a type of women that doesn't exist does not prove anything.

[@ShyGuy83]

@@patatayt1919 I was just trying to be humorous. Calm down.

[@MrUndersolo]

To all these people who hate 'C's': just because they're Canadian doesn't mean you should hate them. Gawd... 😆

[@ryanlaustsen]

I once had a friend who is a incel. Because when we would go out after I got done with work that day I would always bring along my girlfriend and when I went out to a bar with him without her he would always complain oh this person ruined my life or oh I'm spoonfed and that's why I have it better than him. But once he started blaming my girlfriend for his failures like oh why am I with her. I cut all ties with him and never spoke to him again. He was weird. And yes my girlfriend and I are still together until this day

[@daorientalgamer6610]

Im a mix of a few of these guys. Im not an incel, i dont hate women, nor am i entitled to anything from them. I have also never approached a woman in my 21 years of life. I was the stereotypical nerdy fat kid. Very few friends, really only ate and played video games. I was also creepy to girls at my school. I would constantly pester them and run at them in the halls. Never got physical, only verbal. 3 years later and ive lost 107 lbs and am getting into the best shape of my life. And im terrified of rejection/approaching. Im terrified that my inexperience is going to make me come off as creepy, im afraid of/hate who i was in high school. I was creepy and didnt know how to interact with girls. The only thing that's changed is that its basically impossible for me to be creepy since i dont talk to girls at all. I never had confidence in myself, even now i have very little confidence. Im afraid that the small amount of confidence that ive built up will be shredded by rejection. Im frustrated, i see girls that i want to talk to but my brain plays the same thoughts over and over again "dont talk to her" "dont creep her out" "she doesnt like you". I know that the longer i dont approach the harder its going to get. What woman will want a guy in his late 20s thats afraid to aproach/ has no experince with women Its a horrible thing to admit, but the thought of taking my own life has crossed my mind when i think about how pathetic i am. Im afraid to say hi to someone that im interested in. Ive always said that id just end it if i still have no experience at 25, then i moved it to 30. And now im at the point where ill just do it when my parents die I dont have the time for therapy, i have no friends, no where to meet people. Im fucking miserable, and i know that im not going to attract someone by being miserable But i have a great family, the only reason I'm still alive is so they won't be sad, I know that they would miss me alot, so I keep going for them, no matter how tired I am

[@greenbrickbox3392]

Well the important thing is you grew out of those bad behaviors you had in highschool and didn't do anything truly bad, just the usual cringy stuff that is pretty understandable and a lot of us did in high school or even later. The best place I found girls was doing activities or in school since we already shared common interests. I still did a bunch of dumb and cringy things as part of my later dating attempts and got shut down quite a bit, but looking back the rejections they were actually the best thing to happen since those would have became truly awful relationships and I got to learn what sort of people I didn't want to get into a relationship with. What ended up working out better was finding out what I wanted with life and working towards that and learning to be happy with myself and then I made friendships with people I met along the way who had similar goals. I genuinely hope things get better for you, life can be tough on your own. If you're in a financial spot where you can seek out mental health like a psychologist/therapist then that can be useful even if it is just 1 hour you can reserve every 2 weeks, or one hour a month. Didn't realize how much mental baggage I was carrying unresolved until I went to a therapist after some traumatic life events, and it turned out I already had chemical imbalances from genetics and lifestyle decisions pushing me to be more depressed which really helped my quality of life when I addressed them.

[@cameronrudolph5919]

There's a guy that has infiltrated my friend group that is a total incel. He's come to me for advice and asked me questions that I try to help him answer, But he never takes advice, often does the exact opposite, and I've done a lot to try to help him out. I've had enough of his attention seeking antics. I just straight up don't interact with him in group chat anymore. He is totally taking advantage of some of the people in my friend group being very nice and feeling sorry for him. He just keeps on doing things so that bad things happen to himself, It really seems like he's doing things intentionally to make himself the victim. It's really unfortunate. He's got a terrible outlook on the world and I feel sorry for him because he probably just doesn't know any different, honestly think the root of his problems stems from childhood things out of his control, But he is just not doing anything to help himself get out of where he's at. It sucks

[@blakedavis2447]

Felt bad for the first dude. Bro lost a crush and probably the only friend he had.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

I really wish I could help the incels. It makes me so sad the mindset they have and the lonely life they live. Obviously because I'm a woman they hate me on sight. But I still wish they could be successful and happy some day

[@melanievictoria2541]

honestly don't waste your time with thoughts and feelings like that. some people are just awful.

[@spark300c]

not all incels hate women on sight. How ever most hate feminism because instead of make thing equal between men and women it made where women have more privileges in that dating market. Alots of incels are introverted logical type. They often miss social cues in a crowded room. It does not help that America is extroverted society. Dating favors extroverts over introverts.

[@melanievictoria2541]

@@spark300c how do women have more privileges in the dating world?

[@spark300c]

@@melanievictoria2541 men expected to make first move. They end up do most of leg work. On dating apps women have more options than men. Hook up culture favors the top tier men. the problem that cause changes in exceptions for men looking for relationships. So much so they many men given up on relationship because women general have low view of men. There is now more unpartnered men than women. also how much women can get way with in terms of looks is more. One channel did analysis that there is more obese women in the UK than men because they still can get dates unlike men. The differential percentage is base on the polygyny rate. Many incels support monogamy because it ensures sexual equality between the gender in term of getting sex. I believe true gender equality can not be had in a civilized society with out monogamy.

[@melanievictoria2541]

@@spark300c You make good points. Men really are expected to make the first move but that was the case in the past as well. I'm not saying it is right, but this is how things used to be, so nothing really changed there. As for dating sites. If you look up a few statistics, you'll actually see that there's a higher percentage of women on most dating sites, which means that men technically have more options that women. The thing about obesity rates being higher in women can be attributed to the fact that men have more lean muscle mass (which "burns" more calories) and faster metabolism than women. So it's somewhat easier for a woman to gain fat than it is for a man. I would also argue that you're more likely to see a "ugly" man dating a "hot" woman but never the opposite. Just look at celebrity couples! It is true though that extroverts are favorable in dating.

[@Irongaint]

I know I’m an incel, I just mind my own business these days and keep my thoughts in check

[@benlutz1974]

There was about a year in high school when I thought I was an "incel" (though we didn't have that term in 1980. It turned out, as I was reliably informed by an amazing girl I later dated, I was just an asshole. Fixed that, and I've had a lovely life ever since. (Still) Love ya Lyn!

[@alexthewolf3179]

That's great!

[@FiresCollide]

Way too many of these stories involve a normal guy friend going "He's a really good/nice/great guy." No. He's not.

[@Motofanable]

People are very multidimensional, it is not quantum physics.

[@Jose04537]

I feel bad for the guy in the 25:31 that's because we are not taught that rejection is not a personal attack.

[@SamuelMaluco379]

I was honestly waiting to read something about me since I was an incel for a long time and have A LOT of stories to tell

[@Diesel436]

Same

[@debanikgoswami4834]

I used to be an incel few years ago.

[@riddlemefish6217]

Not a friend but me I was the incel all along- I found out via reddit videos about incels and when i noticed i was agreeing i stopped and was never an incel again

[@kaiotic4910]

i am proud of you

[@magnarcreed3801]

Good progress brither.

[@Nyghtking]

I think some of my negative traits combined with introspection and some self-awareness saved me from being an incel. Like I look like an incel, but the big difference is I know no one owes me anything, it's a weird mindset to have thinking that a woman should fuck you because you did stuff for her and doesn't really make sense. I have the self-awareness to know that if I don't even like myself why would a woman like me?

[@harrisona5443]

I think a lot people need to learn the definition of an incel or we need a more concrete definition. Being a fat guy who likes anime and video games doesn’t make you an incel. You can be an in shape dude who like anime and video games but have some strange hate for women. That’s an incel. I hate to be this person but don’t shame peoples likes because some unsavory people like the same thing.

[@SkyhawkJD]

I realized matt was an incel when it came to light that he preyed on one of my friends. And he thinks he’s silver the hedgehog or Roxas from kingdom hearts

[@stuffz4040]

I was “friends” with someone I met online who at least tried to call themselves an incel from when I was 15-18. At the time I was going through a lot and wasn’t getting healthy relationships or support around me so I definitely sought out places that lead to unhealthy connections. There was never any one aha moment when I realized that what I was in was a seriously toxic relationship, though the brief periods when he blocked me because as he claimed “he got scared bc of anxiety” (am not discounting mental health issues which he definetely had) lead me to slowly start to see the situation for what it was. It’s so hard to unlearn everything that I had been taught or which had been reinforced by someone who I thought might finally have some sense of wanting me and who had chosen to be my friend. It took me years to realize that not everyone goes around calling every woman a slut or thinks that any video with a girl in it makes them hard and that it’s the women’s fault for that happening. It took me years to realize that normal adults don’t question the age of consent in the US and say that it should be lower like in other countries - or that young teens aren’t just viewed as objectively more attractive. It took me years to realize that a friend is not someone who invalidates your identity constantly - calling you a lesbian cause you aren’t in to them, or keeps pestering you to tell them what your kinks are after you repeatedly changed the subjects and said firm no’s. It took me too long to realize that my every interest and like was being invalidated - called trash and lame, moreso after I thought that this guy was just one argument away from understanding why the age of consent should be 18. It took me too long to realize that he’d always deny statements he’d made when he was confronted about them, that normal people don’t tell you details about their few hookups in a way that makes it seem like you’re supposed to want them or that you’re just like the 19 yr old who they chatted with as if you could soon replace them despite being 16. A decent person doesn’t hold over your head a list of how much they’d want to date you compared to the other minors and barely legal girls he was talking to. They don’t make you constantly listen to long rants about how their life sucks while refusing to let you speak or making fun of you when you do the same. They don’t make you feel uncomfortable if you have to leave cuase you have a bad headache - making it seem like you are lying. They don’t throw the other minor they are interested in to you - the one who despite being younger has a better understanding of the world and is starting to get that he actually is a liar and a pos - in order to use you as an accomplice - to be someone that changes that girls mind for the worst becuase you still think “he’s just confused, he isn’t that bad, he has so much anxiety that he could never get with someone, he’s so dumb and obvious there’s no way he could actually groom someone. And yet he always had a handful of girls he used to be at the very least his emotional outlet. No person, especially not someone 13 years older than you, should make you feel like you have to settle for him cause otherwise he’d have no reason to live.

[@ludwigvanbeethoven3896]

Damn that's traumatizing, how did you meet?

[@stuffz4040]

@@ludwigvanbeethoven3896 Fucking Omegle man

[@ludwigvanbeethoven3896]

@@stuffz4040 lol, that sucks

[@RayzeCruxis]

I just recently learned I have an incel friend. Soon to be former friend as he keeps shit talking my gf and the fact we bought a home.

[@debanikgoswami4834]

Incels are just frustrated due to not getting a girlfriend (I used to be one).

[@kennylanqua6512]

​@@debanikgoswami4834I'm so sick of how people have corrupted the meaning of incel. Incel means involuntarily celibate, as in someone who desires a relationship but have a much harder time obtaining one, if at all, than most other people. Incel does not mean misogynist. I don't know why so many people have twisted it around for that.

[@MagicPork]

​@@debanikgoswami4834are you saying once you get a girlfriend you become an incel and then once you lose that girlfriend you become an incel again? 😂

[@CannelleInOK]

I've had a man recently that because I wouldn't "date" him which actually means not have sex with him, that I am a lesbian. When I corrected him on that, he, about a week later, decided that I hate men and that's why I turned him down. Maybe it's because he was with my sister before she passed away from C a couple of months ago and I didn't like him when he was with her. Freak. Of course, he wanted to do all kinds of "nice" things for me. I saw that one coming.

[@anthonygenovese7578]

You know what i hated? When i lost a lot of body fat and started putting on muscle, the same girls who would friend zone me would start taking interest or be all like "aw why couldn't you look like that when i was single?!" That probably made me fairly misogynistic for a bit. Then i found my girl and we been together for 7 years

[@chillout8320]

First impressions is everything in this life. Who’s more likely to get jumped in the hood? A 6’5 buff black guy who’s never fought in his life. Or a 5’7 skinny Asian guy who’s trained martial arts for decades? Its all about what you look like you ARE and what you look like you can DO.

[@missscarlet6044]

My best friend's brother started going off about how girls didn't want him because he wasnt muscular or handsome or shitty to them one day at dinner and it took everyone to tell him it was because he was a sexist pos who couldnt stop talking about trump, guns and his hate for religion CONSTANTLY. he ended up going to jail for a year because he started talking to one of my classmates's little sister online. she posed as a 20 year old when she was 15 and asked him to meet up and he agreed, but my classmate asked me who the guy was and my bff asked who the girl was, and i warned my bff's brother about not going and cutting contact with her because she was lying, and the cops showed up 2 days later at his door (even thought he didn't go, but the girl's parents found out and called the cops). So now he goes on about how all women are liars and manipulators and he's 'too good' for them.

[@masterwerneck]

Not being conventionally attractive is a real problem on date-market nowadays though.