Phil In The Blanks | 4 Kinds of Narcissists

Navigating Narcissism
The term 'narcissist' is having a moment right now- but is the word being overused? It's important to know exactly who and what you are dealing with. An accurate, clear understanding of narcissistic behavior is essential to living with this condition.
Dr. Phil discusses narcissistic personality disorder and how to deal with individuals who exhibit this behavior. Narcissists have a pattern of grandiosity, lack empathy, and see themselves as superior. They can be difficult to confront since they manipulate and gaslight others. Dealing with narcissists involves setting boundaries and recognizing their behavior. Dr. Phil emphasizes the importance of protecting oneself, having a support system, and being aware of narcissistic behavior to prevent exploitation.

[@diane4488]

When I was separating from a narcissist, I told him one time - 'You're wasting your time. I know exactly what you're doing, and it's not going to work'. Instead of denying what he was doing, he said, 'If you didn't read those books, you wouldn't know!' No shame or embarrassment. Just blaming the books, for shining the light on the manipulative behaviours. That was probably the most honest moment between us. 😂

[@whambamclick1]

😂😂😂 I can see that happening.

[@morganadavies8319]

Thanks dr Phil. God save us, it is so mentally damaging trying to sift through their gaslighting and manipulating. Its gotten to the point where I just want to live in the mountains and get away from society. Its exhausting

[@emmamonroe3311]

Yeah I know how that feels to want to live where no one is. I had severe TBI was being loved bombed by a covert vulnerable narcissist. I had no heard those words before let alone manipulating and gaslighting.😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[@robin2319]

I almost did what people do , run away , wen I had no means to get away , I stuck it out with Gods guidance and yes it all worked out for the good

[@debnuel]

Me too

[@maggiew6200]

Alaska 🏔️ is a great place to get away from narcissism in family 😇❄️ 🥶 4,000 miles is absolutely perfect 👍🏼

[@morganadavies8319]

@@maggiew6200 sounds great 😊

[@nanaof6angels]

Yes everything you have said is 💯 true! I have family members who are a narcissist and I have gone no contact. They are dangerous

[@l0I0I0I0]

Yes same. Lol. Life is so much better that way.

[@diane4488]

​@@l0I0I0I0 Much more peaceful. Hallelujah! 🙏

[@janpolletta1115]

100% it took me YEARS to figure it out

[@user-lg1co2lk4d]

Thank you for talking about gaslighting

[@diane4488]

MeGain Markle to a Tee! Almost every time she opens her mouth, she's talking about herself - how she's changed the world, stands for compassion & feminism, does good deeds for the poor etc. The truth is, she's done virtually nothing, but twist the truth, and claim recognition for what other people have done. In reality she's a bully, a narcissist, and has caused heaps of pain and suffering, to others. She has no guilt, no shame, zero empathy. Despite her actions being the very opposite of her words, millions of her followers actually do believe the lies, and manipulations. They are either other narcissists, trying to keep the game going. Or just a naive target waiting to be conned. Thank you, to Dr Phil for educating me, over the years. His shows have been a Godsend. Love and best wishes to him, and all his family. ❤️

[@barbridingsTheResinator]

Meeting one is plenty for me. Thank you for this wonderful information. It has helped me and others. 🥰

[@truthtarot7074]

😂👍

[@imdee9024]

SPOT ON! Since I confronted my husband of 26 years - he has now become more frequent and consistent in his bad attitude.

[@rainbowzebraunicornpegasus2962]

My freaking mother! Doesn't matter if I am not the one calling them out. She will still take it out on me because I am the only family member who is going to therapy and carrying a diagnosis of PTSD because of her!

[@imjustsam1745]

Cut her off

[@darinsmith2458]

so that last form of Narcissist... where i grew up the rich would build an addition on the YMCA or build a structure for the fairgrounds but they made sure that everyone new about it... there was always a placard saying who it was..

[@privateprivate8366]

This video is for those people who don’t understand why people simply walk away and go no contact. It’s for those enablers and Pollyannas, that try to shoehorn victims into everything from an apologetic, fawning stance, where they need to beg to save an unsalvageable relationship, with a person, who will never improve and who will forever be abusive. For those who say the target or victim should keep trying and try a little harder. It is for those whose righteousness and assuredness is based upon sheer ignorance or even abuse by proxy. If they can’t find their way to understanding what is really going on and that a victim NEEDS to leave that relationship, the best they they can do is to STFU and mind their business.

[@privateprivate8366]

So, what he says about a covert narcissist’s complaints about encroachment on their rights, when it’s really encroachment on someone else’s rights? That is difficult for an uninterested, uninvested outsider, who doesn’t know anything about narcissism and wants to relegate relationship difficulties, to a spat about passing the salt. I’ll give my typical example, from my experience. It is not my mother, who thought it was best for me to actually die, to prop up the family business, that was an encroachment. It is me who said no and that I wasn’t going to do that. For many people, what that argument is about, believe it or not, is not protecting my life. It’s about not doing what my mother asked. I am, thus, in the wrong. If my mother were alive and still able to speak for herself, I’d likely be even more wrong. She’d gaslight that she never said that and that I’m imagining things. My neighbor wasn’t encroaching on my rights, when she wanted me to become her free caregiver and I gave her the wrong answer of no. Sweet woman was asking for help. Not trying to take over my life. To a healthy mind, my mother and neighbor were not encroaching on my life. If you listened to them, they’d be sure to kern the story to ensure they appeared angelic, instead of predatory. The truth, however, is that when you demand a person’s life, even if it is in free servitude against their will, yeah, that’s an encroachment.

[@Laura-kay92]

Great post! Never forget how the malignant narcissist tried to destroy Johnny physically, emotionally and his career. And she's still at it through her 39 mashed potato mouthpieces!

[@nanaof6angels]

Omg yes thank you for breaking this down ❤

[@timefactortheoryofgravitya7578]

I am continuing to rebuild my life over and over again and being forced to repeatedly live through what a Narcissist I like to call "Darth Vader" did to me many years ago in the military. He and his "stormtroopers" (AKA Flying Monkeys) would tell everyone else the exact opposite that I would say about myself (and I also lived that truth I said about myself!). I continue to spread the word of the growing "pandemic" of narcissism and the growing number of videos on KZbin that more people should watch on the many subjects on narcissism. Seems many young people are growing up thinking "social manipulation" and winning by compromising your integrity is not only OK but is the only way to win.

[@bethbousquet8329]

I’m 52 and grew up with narcissistic father, probably fits the covert category best. I don’t know what to to to live my own life

[@nastradumbass]

Me watching this realizing I might be a narcissist 😅

[@l0I0I0I0]

They say psychologist can't help, but I believe God can help anyone without exception.

[@linegregoire4869]

​@@l0I0I0I0 yes....but the narcissist still has to become humble, realize that s/he needs God's help, and then ask/accept it. 🙏

[@l0I0I0I0]

@@linegregoire4869 nice point!

[@americanassociationagainst7981]

If you think you are a narcissist, you are not. All of us have a little of it in us. The best way to identify a narcissist in my opinion is a person who has no empathy, remorse or conscience.

[@knucklehoagies]

@@americanassociationagainst7981 a narcissist doesn't know they are a narcissist. They are so deep in their own head that they convince themselves that it's everybody else that's the problem. narcissists are incapable to self reflection.

[@agnesrossini9490]

Thank you Dr phil for this new information

[@nawalsada9359]

THANK YOU🌹🌹

[@AVToth]

I've been married for 46 years. We married very young, I was 18 and he 22. By the time I was 20, I had two kids and a high school diploma. At 21, I went to college and became an RN. That's a story in it's self. I don't think most people can truly understand what a narcissist is until you've been close to one, like you can talk about the bonding 'episode' after your first child, it really is a particular once in a lifetime event, but you don't truly understand it until it happens. You can study narcissistic personality disorder but it's not even close to experiencing it. I didn't know it was even a thing. My N was shy. We're in a very small town so everyone knows everyone's family. His family were good people but loners. It was like an inherited trait almost. It made me sad to think how being afraid to talk to strangers in a line at the movies or anywhere must feel. I'm the exact opposite. My long story, I'm cutting short. 1. I wasted 30 years with "How do you think that makes me feel." "How would you feel" 2. I married a man terrified of being seen. ie We were married by a JP because in an actual wedding, people would be looking at us. Using the vast pool of wisdom amassed in my 18 years, I knew I would love him out of his fear. I did. In 20 years, in 2 decades, I took a man terrified of strangers or being the center of attention-ever and with love, humility, patience, love, humility, determination, love, humiliation, my growing fear, I taught him to be terrified of NOT being seen. In my fairytale, he would realize how deep my love was because I lived with the jealousy, control, demeaning, emotional torture. I stuck by and gave him self confidence, enough to overcome his fear. In reality, he didn't understand the secret code. Empathy is the first ingredient in almost all positive human emotions. Without it, actions make no sense. Without empathy there is no humor. I taught him why people do or say things, how they act, what is appropriate to say and when to say it. He is unable to read the room. What he learned is simply by rote. He is no different than an actor learning his lines. He does nothing unless he is assured to receive oohhh & ahhhhh. Nothing. Did he realize how much love it took? Nope. There's a part of him that despises me because I know both who he is and what he is. I know how weak he is, but most of all I know his true past. I know his true history not the history he created. Narcissists don't worry about tomorrow. If events occur that reflects poorly on them, they just rewrite it. That's why they have nothing to regret. I'm the one who knows that the deaths of his parents, the friends and family that are just how things go, he's never mourned, been sad, blue. His feelings have never been hurt. Here's the kicker, why people have a hard time really grasping this disorder. It is my fault that I know what he is but more so, I know what he is not. He's got contempt that stays just below the surface. I'm somehow to blame for having this knowledge. No doubt Dr Phil understands what this is and can, or has, explain it. What I have is a set of bizarre autoimmune disorders. I'm 64 and know what it really is. Rage. Rage buried deep, it's just like Sherman's march to the sea. It's getting out and leaving scorched earth in its wake.

[@marnicardenas2918]

I love listening to you Dr Phil! Can you please help us and help my son realize he needs to get out of his relationship now not later, life is so short!

[@josuemejia0318]

So I guess these so called "influencer" or "internet celebrity" are communal narcissists 😂

[@RethaGreen-ce5ve]

These types you speak of at this point are "created" Narcissist-and can be dealt with easily by removing applause and praise. But textbook narcissist so to speak are not so easily recognized or dealt with-as I am sure I am preaching to the choir lol

[@mariangie17burgos20]

Consistent pattern of behavior that's right.

[@lanacain]

True He is right

[@billmiller9145]

❤❤ Love this!

[@esthermagness5635]

Dr Phil thank you for helping me understand narcissistic behavior I married a narcissist 2 and a half years ago. And I am trying to get out but my financial situation is making it very difficult. I feel stuck and unsafe with him. Can you give me some ideas on what to do? Thank you for any help.

[@Bianca-sw5id]

I wasn't thinking that Dr Phil , i picked up that Dr Phil has a TV show but the narcissististic disorder Dr Phil couldn't have because Doctor Phil actually helps people Covert narcissists don't help anyone except themselves

[@user-cs7th1fs7t]

Can they be all the above 😢😢😢 been going threw all this 23 years . For some reason it's like hitting me he's broke everything I'm learning and reading it's so trying to not react and own my part in allowing so long at at what cost

[@thecarpenter2599]

The answer is a buggy-whip or a fast retreat.

[@Zzxxxcvdgjhddjj]

Yeah they always make podcasts as such

[@l0I0I0I0]

Is there not a single or few psychologist who are capable of helping narcissist?

[@emmamonroe3311]

There is no cure same with sociopathy. Zero cure for the behaviors here.🤡👈🏻

[@lauraantic1384]

I think that only a few of them were able to help to some of them but that is a huge work and they go to therapy almost whole life to get that self aware what they are all the time.

[@l0I0I0I0]

Sad.

[@Angela-ul9si]

This is my husband. Covert narcissist. My family members are definitely malignant narcissists

[@erincardenas2927]

First time hearing about a communal narcissist

[@nikki7057]

Will a narcissist walk away from a group because of a conflict/abuse or will they stay in the group and silently gain control and out the abuse of a group?

[@materialgirl338]

Dr. Phil I have grown up with Crazy. And my whole family is crazy sorry to say. But want to know What makes people Narrisist?

[@stefaniadiamondcut]

They study people

[@Vivian-Da-Artist]

What can you do when the narcissist has turned everybody against you, including your family? Who can you talk to when everyone believes lies about you, won't tell you whats being said, doesn't ask questions or do any research and you don't know what is going on behind your back for years?

[@user-rm4ql2vx4i]

It's all about winners and losers, why bother with what personality disorder is legit and what is bad? That's miserable. Your either win or lose, nothing else matters.

[@JT-ll5zc]

Rerun.

[@grannyanniesfarm4972]

Can a narcissist be a combination of more than one of these types?

[@janetebonanno]

What category is a narcissist for sport? The sheer rush of an argument drives them

[@betsygarcia4346]

Is it possible to have someone with a combination of 2 different types? That's what I'm dealing with right now, but hopefully not for long. She's very mean and has no empathy but also such a victim all the time. Also, narcissists are habitual liars. Whatever fits their narrative.

[@kichantelmua]

The ending 🤭🤣

[@110311DONTWANTCHANNE]

...at least 4 so far......

[@lighthighvibes333]

But are all narcissists bad? And can people just have tendencies but not be full on narcissists? I feel like we demonize them so much something is missing. I love someone so much and just don’t think she is a full on narcissist. Sometimes I wonder if even I am one 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@mrnic5guy]

Am I the narcissist she tells me that all the time I gas light I this that that and and it feels like that’s what I should be saying to her I feel like she’s telling me this but yet it’s what she is doing like doesn’t know she’s telling me trying to tell me I’m doing it.

[@Bianca-sw5id]

Dr Phil , there are extremely golfing narcissistists , from my childhood my covert narcissist mom and covert narcissist stepdads father obsessed over his golf clubs he couldn't get Americans to buy because he called them yanks and I think when he was in USA 🇺🇲 the narcissist radar went off because South Africa is on the NARCISSISTIST continent of the world 😔😞

[@marieb9961]

In what way are they dangerous?

[@wordup897]

If you are their target (they primarily target empaths as only empaths give them supply they're after), they will suck all the life energy out of you they can get - they are spiritual vampires who hate people with good souls. They will try to destroy you in any way possible - career, relationships, self esteem, everything. They will tell lies about you, sabotage you, whatever they can to tear you down. They are easy to spot once you know them. If you haven't encountered them yet, you are probably not highly empathic which is not a bad thing in this world.

[@martieholmes2424]

I have narcissists around me. It stinks to be a people pleasing personality. I can be easily manipulated.

[@knucklehoagies]

learn boundaries. that is literally the only way.

[@janpolletta1115]

then you try to Figure it out................... TOO LATE..............................................

[@grannyblaylock623]

CAN ONE PERSON HAVE ALL THE FOUR CARETRIDTICS

[@1885win]

My ex wife was covert.

[@merrywalsh2809]

Donald Trump and Meghan Markle