Phil In The Blanks | Ep 174 | The Triangle - Malignant Narcissist Pt 3

[@jonathanuniverse9302]

As the former scapegoat child of a covert malignant narcissist, this video really hits the nail on the head. I was subjected to every type of abuse from my father and my sibling (narcissistic golden child). The abuse was allowed to become so severe partially because my father was a very successful physician who was considered a pillar of the community, whereas I was labelled "problem child" from a young age. After I figured out that he is very sick and there is a name for his personality disorder, I explained it to my mother who finally left him after 58 years of marriage (when she was on the verge of losing her mind due to all those years of gaslighting). She is now 84 years old and able to enjoy life.

[@emmamonroe3311]

Wow, sorry that happened to you. My ex covert narc is a lot like his father. How you escaped that IDK. Good for you though, I’m happy you didn’t turn into him. The are the devils little demons deep down.👹👈🏻

[@avejaly8065]

Same here.

[@jengable4888]

I am sorry that happened to you, and please know you are NOT alone ! The problem with the malignant narcissist is the fact that they have large egos and will never go to counseling, unless it is court ordered. Be thankful you are rid of them ! I understand about the triangulation and coercive control of the dysfunctional, possible malignant jealous sibling. When you sit back and analyze your situation, you cannot wrap your brain around it ! I hear you and understand....

[@tonyascreativespace3067]

omg!😢 84 years old, she spent her whole life dealing with this man.

[@jessidae6332]

Thank you Dr.Phil ! You really have helped so many people! May God continue to bless you and thank you for all your hard work !! All is greatly appreciated ❤!

[@ruthslater6364]

You absolutely nailed it. They can be the worst of the meanest selfish vindictive back stabbing frauds you will ever meet. And never feel one ounce of guilt remorse or shame in what they do. AND THE SAD PART IS .. THEY LOOK GOOD TO EVERYONE ELSE. 😮😢

[@paulahard1200]

Yeah my husband treats everyone but me wonderfully is such a help gives others money no questions asked but expects me to pay..sad..😢 G😢😢D night😮I have to hide my things because he gets back at me by taking my things..I take pics to know I'm not going insane n just misplaced them..they need Jesus..n we need to pray I have been that their personality doesn't rub off on us GODblz Bsav LivnluvinCHRIST p.h.😊❤

[@skyblue-7]

​​@@paulahard1200 So sorry. You deserve better. Hope you get away asap - value yourself - and start a new life somewhere else incognito - prioritise yourself now. Stay strong. ❤

[@paulahard1200]

@skyblue-7 Thank you..The silent treatment used to be the worse and his fake kingship personality..Funny thing a person sometimes never see this till there away n involved in a sense of normalcy..I have now, I know I was blind to him..sad..I don't know where to start to get myself free but knowing is a start..I was blind but now I see..Go8ng to my son and daughter-inlaw gives me the 2 day sanity to regroup refill that self validation n patting myself on the back n no gaslighting wheew..well needed break..GODblz Bsav LivnluvinCHRIST p.h.

[@paulahard1200]

@skyblue-7 sorry, I had to write fast..he's in the room

[@donnapope2058]

My husband was so blind to our narcissistic daughter. It was her father but she did every thing to bring me down. He finally woke up to her manipulating him signing for five semi trucks and she never paid a dime on them. We had to take our retirement and sell the trucks to pay the law suite. She said it was OUR FAULT and bragged to her friends! Sick! Sick! No remorse .

[@whatsdoin2392]

It is painful and hard to accept how many psychopaths and malignant narcissists are among us. Society completely underestimates the extent of the problem and treats it as a one-off problem !

[@fifilafleur5555]

💯💯💯

[@fifilafleur5555]

We are a lost society.

[@andrewsmith3257]

One of the biggest problems in society

[@andrewsmith3257]

​@@fifilafleur5555definitely. I can't wait for my life to just be over with

[@MatTheHack]

🧟‍♂️🤺🕊They RUN everything.. But the meek...

[@raphayah4933]

There is no greater loneliness than living with a narcissist

[@missrockstarglamazon6846]

I second that one … horrible !

[@mizzesbee]

That's a fact.....a total nightmare

[@MariaCascalheira-sh9eq]

TRUE!

[@jasonyork9642]

Isolation is killer they isolate you , they are in your mind and you are then at their mercy

[@emilyhudspeth2004]

#TRUTH #FACTS

[@nicotinekitty1275]

To all the Scapegoat survivors out there, You are amazing. It was never your fault. You are worthy of love. You are enough! Healing will come and YOU deserve it! ❤️

[@Jezebellum-l2u]

Some people are so badly damaged that all you can do is stay away from them. It's very sad, but all you can do is accept that there is nothing you can do.

[@claudiapmuller5227]

It doesn't matter how well you treat them, they don't care about anyone else, but themselves!

[@scharlenewinningham5579]

I was married to a narcissist for 47 years. Thankfully, he died. We had 4 kids and he screwed up all of us. I grieve that I didn't protect my children more but I had no idea what a narcissist is and assumed I was at fault for everything. He was mean and degrading to all of us. I have been in therapy to help me deal with anxiety and recover from that man. He damaged us all.

[@briannajadedunlop7179]

I'm so sorry this happened to you

[@Tov-h3v]

A Narcissist gets happy when their partner is sad. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.

[@tulinbeyduz920]

keep the faith ❤

[@tamarajarrell4812]

Your trying to recover that matters

[@clarioncall8449]

Prayers for you

[@RoseStone-h3c]

And my horror, I discovered that I started acting just like him. You lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas 😂

[@paulahard1200]

Maan I think that when we're around someone that is a narc..n your..cut off from the world most of the time..the silent treatment is dished out yo you daily..n you develop social anxiety..😢we have a quote on a plack..its called children learn what they live..now I've been continually praying about not having my hubby's personality rub off in me..I'm an empath..n enjoy helping others n belive what the passage in the Bible says do everything as you would do unto the Lord😊GODblz Bsav LivnluvinCHRIST p.h.❤

[@jeannieotb8491]

No you find unconditional love . Its humans that are the problem!

[@nicolettemoore7711]

Reactive abuse isn't abuse, social anxiety and over stimulation sensory issues you never had before the narc- can be healed but you are not like them at all. They mirror you in beginning and then in order to survive you take on their traits as a normal human being dealing with abnormalities

[@kregg-hy4gi]

Yes I noticed me doing that and said oh hell no, I stopped myself but they can't stop themselves. My behavior defines me and not them. They don't take responsibility for their behavior.

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

Thank you! This disorder is mentioned in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 as a description of the end times. "Difficult times" meaning "ragingly insane" times in the original language. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

[@moholguin]

Thank you

[@robertstrayhall7386]

Exactly the description of rampant narcissism , although of us have some form of my wife has traits of it and her girlfriend is a malignant narc she's asswhole triangulates me and my wife constantly she's a sociopathic in everyway she's tried too sabotage My marriage with my wife and all shit talks shit too my wife but the thing is my wife let's do you know let her cuz the truth will win out Amen and Glory too God

[@RoseStone-h3c]

Agreed 💯👍 TY JESUS for my new life, without my almost ex of 30 years 💜✝️🛐🛐💜 🎉❤🎉

[@teresadvorak6145]

Yes, u describe my big bully sister! 😊🙏

[@Bellatrix28618]

❤

[@akaMonkeyBusiness]

If a person has never come across a malignant narcissist they cannot comprehend how bad such a person is - they (the narcissist) think differently.

[@majestic-1]

I was friends with a female like this for over four decades .it took me that long to figure out how narcissistic she was because I didn't have a name for her weird bizarre phoney behaviors!

[@jeaniemattone3899]

This is my ex husband to a t! He has no empathy, remorse or concern for consequences. He has cost me my family, home and jobs. I don’t know how to make the stalking stop.

[@Katrn30]

You are so right! Until you have been in the crosshairs of a toxic narcissist, you will never get the true essence of the evil. Once I learned I will never win an argument, or be able to understand why narcs do what they do, it took a burden off me. Fairness and reason are not in their vocabulary. I left my NPD (actually diagnosed and dishonourably discharged by the military), and 8 years later he is still stalking me. I continue to completely ignore his messages and threats. He will try to hurt me somehow but I choose not to live in fear.

[@au7-721]

I have 5 sisters who have it bad. They ruin everything. Any type of family gathering they always find a way to cause problems.

[@bradybaas6389]

@@jeaniemattone3899 sorry to hear this, stay strong I know the experiences. You really just have to starve them, don't give them any of your energy what so ever, because they thrive off reactions.

[@Anthony-sn8co]

Everybody should watch this video. All he says is absolutely true. Good bless you dr. Phil

[@jennydesu2544]

❤

[@yoelalmeida3259]

indeed

[@Injamamul-js1wp]

Correct 💯💯

[@erincardenas2927]

Agreed ❤💯

[@kregg-hy4gi]

I was lucky and escaped from 2. I think my personality attracted them and I am much more careful now.

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you dr Phil. You are right. Malignant narcisists are extremely dangerous and narcisism is on the rise. Narcisistic individuals wreak havoc everywhere they go. They bring about division and destruction. Thank you for talking about This serious matter.

[@emmamonroe3311]

Absolutely that’s what they did. I wish someone would have told me what the hell was actually going on. It fu******pisses me the f*** off.😡🤬🤬🤬

[@Jess-kn8vl]

Same, and when you point out the behavior they accuse you of being the one who doesnt get along. Its insane.

[@johnmoore3521]

Malignant narcissists have no limits,with the destruction to those around them. They have criminal minds, and they triangulate their own family. With a malignant narcissist, you will see common behaviors. Anyone who has lived with one can tell you about the got you smirk. They are living Hell when someone dies,they will try their best to prevent loved ones of the deceased from seeing them at a funeral. They will tell the young children,as the EMT is carrying out the body, your daddy died and will never come back. I lived with one of these demons for over 20 years.

[@designatedblack9696]

Look. Stay away from them. There is no hope for them. Leave them alone and save yourself!

[@نمو-و1ج]

Narcissistic someone who can’t live with you and at the same time can’t live without you

[@Starpple38765]

Exactly 💯 isn't that fucked up head.

[@Msewell073]

Best comment I've read today!

[@debra8883]

Very ironic.

[@KiKi-te9yd]

My ex was one of these. Still trying to get protection from him in court. Every part of him is utterly self serving, hateful and miserable, worst misjudgement of my entire life.

[@jengable4888]

Are you safe now ?

[@amandafevrier5497]

🙏

[@JustMe-uw6yd]

Bless

[@stevenkampmann9680]

They are very hard to spot at first!

[@jengable4888]

@@stevenkampmann9680 sometimes they are, and they put on such a good front/mask. I would strongly agree with you !

[@sheiladay-od2me]

My siblings and I were raised by a malignant narcissist. I am so thankful that you are doing these videos. You will be helping young men and women to pay attention to the personalities and attitudes of people they date. These people can manipulate themselves into the lives of naive people, have children with them and cause horrible chaos and destruction.

[@linwei-lee110]

My mother was diagnosed as a malignant narcissist with severe borderline personality disorder. Our family counselor called me the day after our first session to say she had spent a sleepless night. She told me to cut off all contact with my mother because she was too dangerous to wait for me to come to that realization through our therapy sessions. But, I believed that she was capable of change if only I could convince her to do one altruistic act. She used to tell me that she didn't understand why so many people love me when I'm so unimportant. I finally accepted who she was when I was in the ICU with a severe brain injury and she passed a message through two people to me: she was far too important to travel for anything that wasn't a prestigious networking opportunity. When I look back on my life, my biggest regret was not taking my counselor's advice. I allowed my mother to repeatedly sabotage me without consequences beyond extended family squabbles, even after she forged my signature to empty out the trust fund meant to cover my medical bills and education.

[@sheiladay-od2me]

@@linwei-lee110 I am so sorry for what you have been through with your mother. I am happy that you are the person you are. God bless you.

[@lajuanjackson24]

So true

[@babyblue61549]

But how do children get away? I never could. No one helped any of us kids. My mother was a very sick narcissist. After my Dad I was her target. She just passed and I’m dealing with my aftermath💔

[@Tov-h3v]

​@@babyblue61549Dr Jay Reid has good videos about the Scapegoat child.JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.

[@lynnschaeferle-zh4go]

So right. When I figured it out after years of gaslighting and anxiety I was told I was the narcissist. Then I found out everyone else was already told how selfish and vain I was. Now I know none of them because they knew me for years as a giving cooperative caregiver. When the perfect narcissist trashes you to your loved ones, well, the loved ones treat you like you are no longer wanted around. How dare you hurt that poor narcissist?

[@Angel_eyes___]

Oh so damn true

[@Angel_eyes___]

My Ex is exactly how you explained. Nar with sociopath tendencies.

[@Ange777ify]

I can relate 100%

[@LisaAdams-e9u]

It's like if you stop helping them financially and stop letting them mistreat you they freaking start their ghosting then they reappear out of nowhere they feel no remorse whatsoever irregardless how many favors you've done for them no matter how many times you forgive them their totally unrepentant totally unwilling to live for the Lord.

[@RobloxfanYT-h4u]

I can relate to that...

[@sherryo7315]

I grew up with a narcissistic mother who convinced me that my dad was the problem. I learned that was not the case after decades of problems. I married at 18 years old to a man I was crazy about and the best part was that he got me out of my parents house. He changed the moment we said , " I do". I would dream at night that there were two of him and I married the wrong one. By the time we had been married a few years I found I didn't like being around him. He was moody and sexually perverted. If he wasn't having sex with me, he was looking at or watching porn. He threatened to divorce me if I didn't sexually satisfy him. He was emotionally abusive to me and our three children. He wouldn't allow me to spend any money other than what he approved of. We was a control freak and he pulled the strings on all of us. He talked me into doing things with him and for him that I am embarrassed to talk about. When he wanted me to do it again, I refused so he had some affairs and got even meaner to me. Finally, he completely tricked me to get what he wanted....I like it to starving a person and then putting them in a room with a table full of food and pretending not to notice so they'll eat and then later they catch you eating and act all upset. I took his abuse for 32 years. My youngest child told me what he saw his dad doing to us and to me. I made excuses but the following year when my youngest came to me again with the same issues and added that he actually got a rifle and was going to blow his dad's head off but then he stopped himself....I took notice. I realized that nothing was going to change and I needed to admit the problem and wake up. My now ex was telling me I was the problem and I didn't think right and needed the help of a therapist so I had been going to a few different therapists. When I found one I trusted, I left my husband and she told me she was wondering how long it would take. I didn't get out without a fight. I left bruised up and had the police called on me in my own home! My psychiatrist told me to NEVER allow that man to be alone with me in my new apartment. I divorced him that same year. He wouldn't sign the papers so the judge put them through without his signature. After I left I found out he had already found his next target and was in love. I felt sorry for her. Since everything happened in my life the way it did, I have been searching for answers to what went wrong. I think I was comfor with the abuse and control because of my mother (who I no longer talk with) so I married the same problem. I was so trying to avoid marrying the problem like my dad seemed to be, I didn't see the real problem. Once I FINALLY woke up to the abuse, my children were also crippled by it, too...which I am so sorry for allowing that to happen. They struggle daily. Their dad lies to them all the time and they know it so they tend to keep him at arms length. I don't tell them to stay away from their dad but I have warned them to at least be aware. There seems to be more and more narcissistic people in the world than ever before. And you can't go back and redo your life so they steal your time, your love, your trust....your life and there's nothing you can do about it.

[@lajuanjackson24]

Sherry, I'm crying I wish I could sit with all of you that get this and just flood my mind so u can do what's next faster. I have done the same thing as my mother. Thank you with all my heart for sharing this. God bless you and your children and your lives. 😢❤ I pray beautiful things for your family

[@doingit-zt3oe]

Your story is mine including my mother who has never loved me. We do not speak. Married for 27 years, can't redo it.

[@JamesNGames]

Growing up with a narcissistic mother who blamed your dad must have been incredibly challenging. It took years for you to realize the truth and its impact on your choices. I'm sorry to hear that your marriage took a painful turn. The emotional and sexual abuse you endured, as well as the restrictions placed upon you, are not acceptable. It's heartbreaking to hear about the toll it took on you and your children. I commend you for seeking help and leaving your husband. It shows your courage to break free from the cycle of abuse. No one should have to endure such treatment, and I'm glad you prioritized your well-being. Your children are also going through a difficult journey. Witnessing their father's lies and manipulation must be challenging for them. It's important that they have someone like you who warns them to be aware but allows them to make their own decisions. Your love and concern for their well-being shine through, and I hope they find their own paths to healing and happiness. Please remember that you are not alone in this. Surrounding yourself and your children with a supportive network can make a world of difference. You deserve happiness, love, and a life free from abuse. Keep moving forward, and know that there are brighter days ahead.

[@kellymead1139]

I don't see it ,not after all the abuse that has kept coming and still is and the very annoying part about it is professional individuals who are aware are still letting it happen and what has anyone done to remove us from this shitty life of continuing abuse and control , can't relax constantly feeling unwell it's a discrace and I've surprised myself I'm not doing a lengthy prison sentence for murder ,you get to the point where you have had enough ,these idiots can't leave you alone EVER and truth is I only know so much because people are keeping it secret like stealing repeatedly from me ,I just want to leave as far away as possible 😡😡😡 as for people are there with me what a load of croc 😡😡😡 if someone was there they would of got us THE F**K OUT OF HERE but NO let's watch her SUFFER at the hands of everyone , EVIL B******S while we live in poverty your telling me it's ok for people to take advantage even family and they are not being stopped in their F**KING TRACKS 😡😡😡

[@fifilafleur5555]

@@doingit-zt3oe, ♥️🙏🏻🙏🏻♥️

[@Greenwings701]

"They think every success someone else has is at their expense." Great way to describe that irrational reaction. It can be a success they aren't even striving for in any way, shape, or form - just one they admire and is far from reach. Heck, it can be as small as a compliment that wasn't directed at them. TY

[@malignantnarcissist6662]

This is very true. Its related to envy and magical thinking.

[@DitDot55]

after a LIFETIME of experience with narcissism in people all around me, I finally can throw away my FIVE DECADES of journaling observations about it all, because I FINALLY have a NAME for what I was exposed to all my life.

[@michellefucoff4631]

😊❤❤

[@jengable4888]

I do not think the malignant narcissist has a moral compass. They do NOT care what they do to you, ONLY if certain individuals in positions of power find out about it ! The worst situation is when it is someone in your family, a so -called friend, or a co-worker. Thank you Dr. Phil for posting this very informative video !

[@fifilafleur5555]

I’ve heard Sam Vaknin talk about how we are now living in a psychopathic narcissist’s society. We will only see more & more of this evil as time goes on. The Bible predicted all of this and it’s now all coming to fruition. Be safe out there and learn all you can about this evil!

[@Happi60]

Great Show ! I recently had a Tenant who accused me of harassment. I wrote them an apology letter. They took the apology letter to court and got a four year restraining order against me. I spent several months of being attacked by them after they labeled me. So, I released them from their lease and kicked them out. I gave up $40,000 on the remaining part of the lease, because my integrity and sanity was more important than their money. Commercial property is hard to lease, but I will get through it. I'm so grateful for peace again.

[@TheSnedmeister]

lol my ex malignant narcissist 2 years after she left she joined a telco company and sent herself a text message and got a 45 year intervention order lol their nuts. just remember their disordered and sick in the head

[@lisafiveash3089]

Thank you Dr.Phil, you described my ex to a tea, it was a nightmare of over 20 years, I can only thank the LORD, that i finally left 2 years ago , i am 64 years old and so happy with myself and my life now :)

[@melodysanquist4834]

Thank you for mentioning their absence of shame. My coworkers and I once worked with someone like this and their shameless arrogance just blew us all away as our stomachs turned!

[@LisaDAnd-bz6et]

Thanks to you I finally see my husband for who he really is. Plus I no longer rack my brain trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and blaming myself. My "mother's instincts" is the only feeling I could count on. Which became more confusing as I believed him when he told me that instincts expecially mothers instincts was all a load of crap. But now NO MORE!! My question is now what do I do!?! How do I get out!?! I have been married for 19 years and we have an 18 year old autistic son that I had to raise by myself with absolutely no help nor support. But I did it. Only by following 3 rules: 1. complete honesty with my son. If he is old enough to ask then he is old enough to know the truth. 2. Under no circumstances to I EVER NEVER deny any feeling he has (no gaslighting as he/we get enough of it from dad) 3. Remind him that its not his fault his dad acts like that. Dad has a mental and emotional issues. But illness is not an excuse for bad behavior. We often talk about our life when we get away and out on our own. We have to sleep in same room with door locked so we can sleep in somewhat peace. As i lived in the classic isolation. No more family, friends, coworkers strangers, nobody. He has control over all money as i had to stay home to raise my son. I get an allowance which i have to give receipts and explain where i spend every penny. His name on my car. No credit as he has ruined it in many ways. Domestic shelters cant protect us as they are local and no out of town shelters will help outside of county. He and his family have lived in the area forever and know a lot of people everywhere we go. He will find us locally. I try to sneak and save a few dollars here and there but i usually have to spend it in order to get my son to school or his medications when dad decides to punish me and take away my allowance for not obeying him or when i try and stand up for myself when he yells horrible names at me. I know living in this toxic environment will have consequences once we get away. I understand how we live in constant flight or fight mode and it rewires our brain. But right now we live in survival mode. Always looking for our opportunity to escape. Dad found me as a young, naive and vulnerable girl who saw the world as beautiful. I was the perfect victim for him. Lied to me and I got pregnant. Then I was trapped. When son was 3 weeks old i got into the bath, without baby for a change as he was napping, when I got out of tub dad/husband were gone. I had no car and nobody to call for help. He took my son and for 30 long minutes my world was taken away from me. When they finally returned he told me that that was a valuable lesson to learn what would happen if i ever stepped out of line. Changing me forever. But now son is grown and we have an amazing close and honest relationship. Which we have to keep secret or dad lashes out at us. I can keeep going on and on but its exhausting. Just want to share so others will understand the depth of his evil. I am close to getting out. But not sure how? Especially as broke as he keeps me. Anybody has ANY advice or opinions on what they would do. Or if there is something i dont see like some kind of solution that i havent thought of yet and i dont have to break the law nor my morales and values?

[@doreenmusson4891]

Nobody says it like Dr Phil. You save me every time. I see my ex every time you speak.

[@clarioncall8449]

Prayers for all of you suffering. I know it’s no consolation, but you’re not alone. There is a God Who will reward and punish.

[@nunyabiz9288]

So freaking sad they really are incapable of change !! They wreak so much havoc!!

[@racheltuccio7652]

Thank you Dr Phil , only took me 23 years to file for Divorce that was 7years ago and the wrath is horrible , I don’t let my guard down one bit when it comes to this narcissistic personality!

[@MsJacky0]

You just described the guy I was seeing that was a Professor at VMI, to a tee. DR. Phil ,you have opened my eyes. I had no idea why this man acted the way he did, until I watched this video. This man almost drove me nuts. Trouble is, they are super intelligent. They can mess with your mind like no other person. I am glad I got away in one piece. Thank you for this video. It explained everything.

[@Gettingback997]

Thank you Phil. You and a few other KZbinrs have helped me more than you’ll know. Never in my wildest imagination did I realize that such people could exist

[@andreyasdus7629]

My soon-to-be ex-husband is a malignant narcissist. Educating myself thru these videos has saved my life. I had no idea until now.

[@jowilde3774]

I married malignant narcissists. Not once but three times. I don't know why. I wasn't looking for that sort of person but I ended up with men who were very abusive. The mind games they played changed my life for the worse. Back then, I didn't understand it but thanks to videos like this, I've learned so much and I've learned to recognize these types of people and I've learned to keep my distance too.

[@12dd4ds9]

Because "the world" is empowering narcissism (and cultural nihilism) it's not that we're choosing the wrong people; it's that it's gotten to be "pandemic" of malice, scams, selfies, plastic surgery risks for vanity, without God, worship of money, drug & alcohol use, increasing illiteracy, despair (depression), abstinence from prayer & meditation, a separation from a more natural environment, etc Please don't think it's you; it probably isn't. Not a lot of quality choices out there. My sister, mother & friend are out of my life by my choice. Although I'm completely alone now, I've really never been more at peace and happy.

[@aliciareese6395]

I have been in multiple abusive relationships including marriages and I wonder if it's me 😢

[@jennifertiemann6403]

My adopted daughter is a narcissist, and these videos have helped me and my husband sooooooooo much! Just having an understanding helps our mental health. Thank you, Dr. Phil! 😊

[@mamabear776]

Can you cover how people can overcome after being affected by someone like this? Its hard to trust others after dealing with someone like this because it is very hard to detect until later on.

[@twilfits]

Same right there mamabear

[@johnmoore3521]

Have faith in God because only God can deliver you from a person like this. Understanding that long-term abuse will create a form of PTSD for years after your free is an important aspect to understand. I hope Dr.Phil teaches on post relationship PTSD,because it is important to know everyone does not have this disorder. We are watching this because,being abused by a psychopath drives us to learn more about their condition. We have to adjust in our understanding of the world by realizing that,we cannot Judge our future relationships based on what we learn about our past relationships. Not having a expert opinion about another person,because we have learned how to cope with the damage from the past. Ronald Reagan said qoute:Trust but verify. We can avoid abusive people now that we know what the abusers look like,yet we cannot Judge people based on a short interaction. All of us have had days that seemed like everyone had lost their mind,but that is only our perception. I have learned all these traits,that Dr.Phil is teaching about are a guide for our future interactions, yet we cannot Judge from one minor event. If everyone seems crazy, it's not everyone you need to look at,start with yourself.

[@oreo12ification]

I think it’s very difficult, especially if it’s a parent narc… worse still, a mom. I’m still suffering after 67 yrs. Best of luck to you. Seeing these videos has helped me. ❤️

[@alicenichols9706]

You look for signs and protect yourself against these people.

[@santanapage5044]

I'm still traumatized, its been almost 5 years and I watch videos like this every day, have nightmares, its almost like being touched by a demon

[@anitakraft408]

I have or had a friend who was a horrible narcissist and now she's back on drugs and alcohol and I just feel like she's so much worse than she was 3 years ago and I'm ready to call it quits thank you dr. Phil for your insight this just confirms everything I've believed and it's time for me to back away altogether thank you so much❤❤❤

[@yourconnection9303]

You're an excellent teacher Dr. Phil. You're family is also very fortunate to have you in their life.

[@KA-mq4wj]

My ex malignant, sadistic narcissistic husband would tell me that he’d kill me and no one would find my body. He choked me so hard that I had neck surgery. He slammed me so hard against a countertop in front of my little kids. The emotional abuse was always worse though and I still have flashbacks of him berating me. He abused me physically, emotionally, sexually, financially. He would call me a “see you next Tuesday” all the time. He’d say I’d kill you but I don’t want to go to prison. He was antisocial and angry. He hated socializing with others who were wealthier, more secure than him. He would then humiliate me at that party because he felt insecure and threatened. He would take all his anger and punish me in front of others. His parents were both narcissistic and so was my own mother. I married my mother. I finally divorced him after he professed to numerous affairs. In the divorce proceedings, he was even more evil telling our attorneys I was crazy and suicidal…He hid money and assets from me then lied to our attorneys. Fraudulent. Very common in narc abuse. The final straw was that he was secretly gay and used me so he didn’t have to admit to his controlling religious narc mother. I was a very naive girl and he love bombed me to secure a normal marriage and kids. But in reality, he hated me for being stuck with me and hence the abuse. He hated his mother so he projected all that hate onto me. He never ever apologized for anything that he did to me in the twenty years we were married. Im still struggling and it’s been 7 years since he left. These people will murder your soul . Please find a good divorce attorney who is knowledgeable about narcissistic personality disorder. Then get a good psychologist who specializes in narcissistic abuse. You will need it afterwards for the absolute trauma they have caused you. It’s called Complex PTSD. To this day, 8 years later, my ex hates me and wants me dead. Take care of yourself. You are worthy of love. Thank you for this video Dr Phil.

[@ConnieDunaway-n9n]

05:48pm

[@clarioncall8449]

So sad. Praying for you to heal.

[@dewuknowofHyMn]

SOOOO GLAD YOUR FREE !!!!

[@jessicafeatherston2172]

My ex was diagnosed by his psychiatrist as malignant narcissist . He use to "joke" that he could kill me, and store me in a barrel of acid in the storage closet under his stairs and he would convince people I was suicidal and just left. He would get detailed about how my reactions to his abuse already had people thinking I was crazy so he said they'd totally believe them. He "joked" about it 6 or 7 times before I finally left him after I found videos where he filmed himself raping me while I was having seizures or passed out. I had a few strange black outs after drinking but I had blamed it on not eating before drinking... He had a 1 terabyte external hard drive I found there were videos of hundreds of nude women nude and unconscious along with Videos of him having sex with them. You cannot fathom this kind of evil exists until you meet one

[@Shirley-t9b]

Your story is my story to a tea secretley gay and tons more I married malignant freek

[@MichellePage-ej7xm]

I have a daughter in law that has shown her true colors. Everything you've explained is exactly what she has done. I wish I knew this 20 years ago before she has made a mess of our relationship. I have learned how to set boundaries with her, and I feel I am now a step ahead of her. Thank you for your information, and I will be looking forward to more.

[@richardjohanson612]

When you mirror them as Super Empaths do... they turn around and blame you for being the crazy one!

[@cindynells9357]

Thank you. The information in your Narcissist podcasts validates that I can trust my gut and I did the right thing. It is reassuring and healing.

[@demigaines5644]

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR SHARING THIS I EXPERIENCED THE WORSE TYPE OF ABUSE EVER A MALIGNANT OVERT NARCISSITS THIS PERSON DESTROYED MY LIFE MY SELF ESTEEM AND SELF WORTH. I WAS HORRIBLY DISCARDED CRUELY LIKE TRASH. THIS PERSON HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AS IF I NEVER EXISTED. NARCISSITIC ABUSE IS BRUTAL.

[@lperez229]

Dr Phil. I am a 56 year old woman who can and plan to write a very good book on this subject. 30 years ongoing experience I can totally relate and could be you speaking. How I stayed strong and survived this I can only attribute to a power much higher than me. I have survived and I will be fine. I have learned so much over the past 30 years so I consider these lost years a blessing in disguise. I know people have got to be educated on NPD. My biggest concern for people unaware of this disorder can be so damaged depending on the circumstances but the biggest motivator for me, the children of the parents who have this disorder. I see problems in my children who are now 14 year old twin boys. I am freeing us from this mess because I have got to help them to overcome all we have endured. I plan to teach as many people as I possibly can on this subject. Thank you Dr Phil and your wife for all the awesome work you have done in your lifetime. I can’t express my gratitude enough.

[@Elizabeth-cv2rn]

After I filed for divorce, my first husband promised, " "When I'm done, you won't have one friend left in this town and I will take everything you got while you were married to me." He kept his word and applied it to our children, my license to practice law (which I got before the marriage with no help from him) and my good reputation. I think that whenever one parent seeks sole custody and there is no evidence (other than that parent's word) that the other parent is a danger to the kids, the parent seeking sole custody should be evaluated by a court appointed shrink for NPD. A positive finding should be taken into account in making custody orders.

[@josephsimontacchi2285]

Elizabeth. You may have a point. After 32 years of marriage. She wanted to separate. ( NPDs always cheat ). I ultimately did. Very hard to leave a great home that I put much personal work into but it went from her being mostly quiet and unhappy to very nasty with every comment. In what you were discussing. After a year of allowing her to “Date” half the men in NJ. I said every so often, are we going to work on this relationship anytime soon? Silence which is now used by everybody- and I hate it. I filed at about the year mark. You can look up Divorcing a Narcissist. She was classic. But when we now had to work out a parenting schedule, her first words to the court appointed person was. I Want Full Custody ! The women looked at her like she was crazy. I’m a CPA who has a great little firm in the Area. My firm was quite well known by Doc’s Lawyers Business etc. I’m dressed in a nice suit, I’m polite, courteous and respectful. The women said. Is he drug abuser,alcoholic,gambler, What. Can’t be a criminal or he would have lost his license? I want full custody. Lady said, I’ll tell the Judge your being silly and belligerent. Now let’s work out the schedule.

[@justmyopinion2205]

P.S. Dr. Phil, THANK YOU! I 100% know you are telling the entire truth about these parasites that actually made attempts on my life. I am very grateful to you for these podcasts. I know you are saving lives by educating us about The Truth About Life and it greatest dangers. 🙏❤️🙏

[@jengable4888]

You are not alone, for I have had my life almost taken multiple times. This is very true, and I hope that you are safe, because I can relate.

[@justmyopinion2205]

@@jengable4888 I am terribly sorry that you relate to my life traumas. No one, especially children, should never experience what we have. We don’t, and didn’t, nor does anyone else deserves to be treated as we have. We know we deserve far better. 🤗

[@lynneposada8631]

My narcissistic brother has talked about hiring a hit man to take me out. Thing is I’ve never done anything to him. He’s dreamed things up in his head that aren’t true though. It’s very disturbing he believes these lies he makes up in his head. Now I have to live in fear for my safety because they tell me he’s 100% serious, no joke.

[@justmyopinion2205]

@@lynneposada8631 I am so sorry you have are having to deal with the stress of an unstable and mentally unbalanced brother. From my personal experience, I would take everything he says he would like to do to you AS the things he will do to you. He can’t be reasoned with, no one can change his mind because he has created a reality he lives inside of all alone, a reality that does not exist, that isn’t real but he can’t see the truth. If he has ever said, to you, that he was going to hire a hit man too take you out, immediately go to the police and file a report and get a restraining order. If you have anyone that he has told he intended to cause you harm or your death, take them with you to the police. Please do not justify away the seriousness of his threats. I get so frustrated when people say, “He’s my son he could never actually kill me. He says that to blow off steam.” Or “She’s my ex-wife, the mother of my children, the woman I fell in love with. She would never kill the father of her children, I know her better than anyone and she doesn’t have it in her to hurt me or the children.” Or “I know my brother struggled his whole life not being able to make friends, keep a relationship and has anger issues and can be violent but he would never hurt his own family. He wouldn’t ever hurt me.” Etc… Well yes, that son did murder his mother, that ex-wife did murder her ex and tried murdering his fiancé, and yes that brother did attack and kill his mother and sister. Please do not give him any benefit of the doubt and do not ever second guess your internal instincts and I tuition. My family did vile, horrifying, unbelievable things to me. I don’t have a choice as a child but I do as an adult and I have deported them all from my life forever. I made it clear I would be very happy to get restraining orders against each and everyone of them if they dare to contact me. You need too protect yourself.

[@kayeb7809]

My momster is a textbook example of this. She tried to destroy her own family. I made it my mission in life to protect myself and my children. Been no contact for over 30 years. She is vile, mean, manipulative and enjoys drama that she creates. The only escape is to not be there. I could write a dissertation for my PhD on this lady. If you look this up in the DSM I swear her picture would be there.

[@ginafarley6190]

So glad you went no contact. Sorry for your pain.

[@babyblue61549]

Me too. God bless u. 💔

[@deena7155]

You did the right thing. Wish I had seen it sooner or had the language before my mother got her hands on my children and life.

[@carolebarnes2736]

So true, we cannot change these creatures, we can only change ourselves and/or our own reactions and responses to them.

[@jeanmarie9797]

Dr. Phil, thank you so much for doing these podcasts. I can't even remotely tell how much you have helped me. Not just with this new avenue but all through the years. I have struggled with a couple narcissistic individuals, family members, and this is both informative and validating.

[@j.t.1215]

Dr. Phil, you could do an entire season probably year on narcissistic abuse, and you know what? It IS NEEDED. From the anatomy of the relationship to the process of recovery (including learning red flags and fixing internal flaws for susceptibility to abuse) there is a place for education on narcissistic abuse. THANK YOU for this. PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING.

[@DitDot55]

Professor Sam Vaknin put it well "narcissists are grieving infants"

[@reneejohns]

Sam is KING on the subject of these NON humans.

[@user-ye2ge4zo5lhennypenny]

18 April 2024 Hi from Australia 🇦🇺 I prefer these Podcasts than the actual shows...more interesting and enlightening indeed! ❤❤🎉🎉

[@brendaleverick3655]

Narcissism should be taught about in schools. Perhaps beginning in Junior High; definitely in high school, at least by the Senior year; and again in College. I knew things were wrong with specific people, when growing up. But, I didn't know what to call it. Now I know it was narcissism.

[@deena7155]

My mother is a malignant narcissist. Imagine being the youngest child while being gifted and talented. She was always turning EVERYTHING in to a competition. I didnt WANT to compete with her. I just wanted to live.

[@TF-uu1yu]

I Could listen to this for hours! It’s so spot on Dr. Phil! Thank you

[@leonietrezise9198]

Narcissistic + Back injury+ Hearing impaired Was my worst nightmare for 14 years 🇦🇺🦘❤️👀

[@colleenstudio]

thanks for the subtle hint of the "person" you are hinting about! Bravo. We need more of that. Thanks for this. I am a scapegoat and I left an entire bloodline of narcs. They are trying to get me back, telling everyone I'm depressed. Random texts and calls, turning my old friends, random cousins I never speak to -OMG it's like they think they are hiding it. It's kind of enjoyable to ignore them. -Thanks for this series I really enjoy it. I just believe you need to get away from them - clear away. I am at 1 year of not speaking to the rest of them and I am finally becoming "happy" which I never knew what that was THANK YOU

[@michele3438]

3 years with MN. I’m more confused and lost in this relationship if that’s what it is. Everything you say on point. I feel paralyzed sometimes find it absolutely impossible to think clearly when I am with him or speak to him and my thoughts sometimes about him and me. Thank you Dr Phil. I know they say knowledge is power. Getting knowledge from you the past few weeks. Don’t fell the power yet

[@jorimamer3908]

Thank you Dr. Phil. So clear and makes sense of what I've been going through. I thought I was losing my mind. After THIS episode I realize I'm dealing with a bad person and it's not me. And I cannot fix them. Thank you again.

[@nkto75]

I’m in an incredible second marriage. The man of my dreams, for sure! My first marriage was to a classic, malignant narcissist. It was pure horror and hell. I’ve just learned recently, how he fits your description to the tee, Dr. Phil. Thk you! The magnitude of what my kids and I went through, tho, I can’t forget. I’d never known this kind of evil before. But- now my husband and our family are beyond grateful, each day.❤️

[@randycoger2525]

I can relate to what is being said. I was married to the type of person you have described. The key to a happy life among marriages, friendships, business and Godly growth is HUMILITY.

[@EllenSampson-kh9te]

The Lord healed me from these narcissiltic toxic people. I used therapy, Journaling, support, and medication, and milost of all daily prayer.

[@cleancut39]

These people are like a freight train...... Just get the hell out of their way!

[@kimberlysprague6421]

I was watching your podcast last night and i could not believe i had finally found someone that finally could tell me why my sister is the way she is. Its a long story but i have suffered my sisters mental illness since the age of 8. I have watched her become one of the most evil and viscious person. Especially when it comes to me. I have tried to escape her and did for 5 and half years. Recently had to move back to my hometown and she found me. I have heard every gaslight phrase you quoted. Therapy taught her how to be empathetic and sympathetic. I have been doing research after research trying to find something that would explain to me why she is the way she is and you are the first person to describe her to a T when you describe the traits of the malignant narcissist. I sat in my chair with my mouth open through every description you talked about being a malignant narcissist. I am in therapy an suffer from cptsd, generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. Her abuse started at the age of 8. There have been breaks in adulthood but has been consistant again for the last 5 years. You have helped me more than you will ever know. Thank you so much.

[@ArtLoverScotland]

I am 'finally' escaping the covert-malignnt narc i live with- he is off on a cruise for 2 weeks. All you say is so on point. I thank you. He is a monster in a human suit....... I am off VERY soon thank the Lord.

[@aliciareese6395]

Be careful and stay safe!

[@samantha03d92]

My OWN PARENT. I SEE THE LIGHT! Ty Dr. Phil.

[@dressagerider31]

I can understand all this so much better by hearing this and then turning on the news. I never truly understand how dangerous these people are until I started listening to your narcissist series it really helped 'cement this in my head. I heard the term narcissist for years but never truly understood why they were that way until I saw this. I hope I never run into a narcissist personally but I feel if I did I would be better armed to deal with them. Thank you so much.

[@cliffprystie1]

Help! I cannot run away from these ones! When a very young child’s life is at stake in the midsts of the chaos and fray from the unbelievable amounts of drama I am hoping that their is a miracle or a magic wand! But I know in reality I am stuck on this rollercoaster and am constantly trying to salvage what good moments I am able to grasp and make sense of! Pray for the ones who have to deal with and stand in the war zone of multiple narcissists at the same time!

[@tmarkasr]

I'm under attack by mother and son team. God strength to you! Amen!

[@kayakins3051]

This is so good . I love that Dr Phil went out and did a podcast on this . We have a lot of people living their lives like this . To me it’s pretty much someone who is evil and doesn’t have a good personality and it’s severe . The others may not be as dangerous physically but they are still NOT a good person. .Difference in degrees and on a scale .

[@shawnwinslow1762]

Dr. Phil, I have the greatest respect for you. You really do care about folks. God bless you

[@edelgardmrah8452]

I wished I would have listened to this , many years ago , everything you said is a 💯 % true, yes there are monsters like this . Thank you Dr Phil ❤️

[@patriciaferrari4788]

This is quite frighteningly hopeless that there’s no way to change or treat these malignant narcissists. Let’s convince them to go to a resort in a far away island and it’s actually a place for narcissists and they can all live with each other because they’re the only other people that will understand each other because they live in another reality than normal people.

[@missmahnee]

Oh you made me laugh! Narc island, every reality show already on TV🌸 I think we need to go beyond, get the physicists involved and find another planet.

[@Angel_eyes___]

Wow i thought the same thing 😮

[@devrarayvals5871]

Yes i have two narcissists in my extended family. It makes me sad not being able to help them. They do believe they are fine and its everyone else. Both of them had narcissistic abusive parents. My hope is that there will be some help for them in the future. Although they both put on this "i am perfect" facade its not difficult to see how fearful they really are.

[@heathermixson1265]

You have literally just described my husband....30 years of a living nightmare. Thank you Dr. Phil......please keep this education on the front lines for so many people who desperately need this.

[@elizabethbrehm8996]

Omg same !!!! I always thought something was off but the last 8 years there’s no question … the mask has slipped and he doesn’t give a fuck…but the sad part is that he feels like I need to suck it up because of the life we’ve built over 30 years… my health is suffering!!!!!!! Hard though I don’t know what to do.

[@heathermixson1265]

@@elizabethbrehm8996 ...I had to hit my knees before God, again.....4 years, this summer, working on myself. Psalm 46:10 has been my staple, although I have needed to be reminded of Who is actually in charge here. That's just how I had to be humbled to come back my healing journey. Keep educating yourself with reputable educators such as Dr. Phil, Dr. Carter, Dr. Ramani, and Pastor RC Blakes....and please, do not give up on yourself....

[@ginafarley6190]

So sorry, please find safe, kind people to be around. If you can leave, be very secretive about it, even faking positive feelings to throw them off guard. Best of luck

[@222Cleopatra]

Thank you, Mr. Dr Phil. I have adorated you since I was I was 16. I had no clue I would now be 40 and going through the court system dealing with a narcissist of 20yrs of marriage. I am soon to be free. You are speaking the truth that I personally have been forced to live. Share, keep spreading this. Help. Heal! You are an amazing man!!

[@74horses]

I was married to a malignant narcissist for 31 years. My grand daughter was born prematurely & I saw him for what he was.

[@tinaaiomanu5039]

I been waiting for episodes like this for over 15 years. Only those who truly know me know why. So good to to view Dr Phil episodes again like being able to watch TV again and self appreciate again and not worry for feeling some creep is watching out to see what your watching on TV/media. Topic appropriate

[@tiki1758]

I have a family that contains these types and I never had a chance being born into it, but I survived only to marry one much deeper into it. So being in my late fifties, I’m free and managed to survive all of it and learn on my own why these people do what they do. This video just assures me. I checked all the boxes. You can’t deal with them. Like you said, let others figure this out and hope they do. At least my daughter is young and is doing the work needed to free herself from it. I help her and she helps me. This is the hardest thing in my life and has destroyed so much. I’m completely starting over now at my age.

[@missrockstarglamazon6846]

Had 5 brothers all of them are cut them am off ! Only girl no wonder I felt lost quiet and anxious . Was horrible I’m so happy enem cut off any families connected so they cannot find out about my life even Though they try following me on social media.

[@paulbrouyere1735]

Thank you Dr. Phil. I’m living in Europe. Moved to another part of the country where another language is spoken. Also another government. (Since 3 months) I have a whole less tremble now, but it is really important to realize how abusive these narcissists are. They really mess up your live, on purpose. In a former episode you said how many decades you and your wife were married. I wish you both a good and happy life, and I know I can meet another good lady again to spend the rest of my life in happiness. For the time being, my dog is giving me all the love I need. In return, I’m giving him all the love I can give. I call him my therapeutic dog, the moment I get awake, he’s dabbing on my chest, so I won’t get a heart attack, then he starts licking my face, so I wake up a little faster, because I don’t know where his tongue has gone before…😂

[@Undisclosed_FBI]

I was gaslit so badly by a covert narcissist that I started believing I was schizophrenic 😭

[@aliciareese6395]

Like paranoid schizophrenic? That's terrible! I've wondered if I was autistic or maybe have dementia 😢

[@clarioncall8449]

How many years has this been going on? And how many people have lost their grip on reality because of this? Probably for generations; Alzheimer’s is an epidemic. Maybe they should investigate what kind of people were in the Alzheimer’s patients lives - they may find many narcissistic types.

[@Isthisreallylife]

Yep the narcissist in my life did the same.

[@KDMeowmmy]

@@aliciareese6395 This is horrible. I am so sorry.

[@brendaleverick3655]

I hope and pray I never, ever encounter another overt or covert narcissist. 🙏🏼

[@beverlyorlando8040]

This describes my older sister perfectly. She's diabolical! She seemingly refuses to show any care or concern for others. Myself especially! I can't even show HER any care or concern or she'll shut me down or literally Heisman my attempts at a hug for her during a bad time for her. I've had major surgery and this sister never once visited in the hospital or called to see how I was doing. Too many similar incidents like this to detail here. But most recently, she was the "caregiver" for our Mom who had Parkinsons. The name calling, shaming, harshness, blame she put on my mom in her last week's was heartbreaking to see. More than once over the past few years, I've offered to have my mom come & stay with me. My mother was terrified to present that as an option to my sister, even though she said she didn't think my sister wanted to take care of her anymore. They have live together for the past 35 years. My sister refused to take any of my nursing advice in regards to a decubitis my mom suffered from on her sacral area, or about any caregiving for our Mom for that matter. She wouldn't even let me see the wound. She got in my face, yelling, name-calling etc. My mom's wound got larger & quickly became infected. She was complaing of pain. My mom went septic and FINALLY my sister took her to the hospital. It was too little, too late. My mom passed away a few days later. The doctors in the emergency room ripped my sister a new one. Her response? She was going to report them for being rude! She even tried to blame it on ME!!! Dangerous, evil-spirited, calculating, ruthless perpetual victim mentality, pathological lying, & paranoid are just some of the terms I use to describe my lifetime of experiences with her. Since my mom passed over a year ago, I have cut off all communication with her. She now lives all alone. She may have escaped accountability once again. But her karma will find her!

[@stevebennett625]

It’s not an easy area to get people to understand. Excellent down to earth description in plain language. Thank you Dr Phil.

[@sheiladay-od2me]

In my senior year in college, my last class before graduation, our psychology professor said we would be going to court for our next class. She had a friend who was a social worker who was presenting a case to a judge. She said people working in the mental health field in any capacity will be dealing with the court system and the often terrible injustices people are faced with who are married to these people. The case was of a 2-year-old boy who was being placed in foster care in a week. The child and his mother had been abused and he was losing custody of his child. The social worker who was the professional in this case asked the judge if she could take care of this little boy because she had 6 weeks of vacation time. She had a psychiatrist talk to the judge and explain how dangerous this situation was because the child could be killed under these circumstances. The judge said it was only for a week and he refused the social worker's request to care for the child. When we went to court this social worker was confronting this same judge for not allowing her to care for this child. The father of the child gave his little boy a choice, be bathed in scalding water or beaten. The child fought getting into the water, mom called the police who were too late to save his life. The father picked up the child and slammed his head and face into the side of the tub. I left the courtroom and decided I had lived through hell, and I was never going to have to go through what this social worker endured regarding this little boy. She cursed the judge while telling this story, called him a bastard, and said he was responsible for this child's death. She was crying. The judge was writing and paying little attention to what she said. He did say he was sorry for what had happened to the child.

[@michellemitchell5005]

Breaks my faith in humans why???

[@michellemitchell5005]

I hope this dad is in prison’

[@ToddPerilloux-qg5hp]

I'm sure the judge was a narcissist also

[@judithgrace9850]

I just quietly eliminate them from .my life. No contact. You are correct.

[@Vixinaful]

I met a guy that acted strangely back in 2018. Could not read him, didnt understand what he wanted or not and started feeling really crappy from the stress. Fast forward 3 years, I had lost 60% of my hair (I now have to wear extentions out of shame of how thin it is and what I lost grows back grey) 8kg in weight, had an episode of Graves disease that lead to (what I suspect but never had confirmed) the beginning stages of heart failiure. I screamed for help online during 2020 and finally found a psychology student and a group of people that helped me by saying he was a narcissist and that I was in an abusive relationship. I read *everything* I could get my hands on and could not fit it together until I found Dr. Phils "The covert narcissist" He fit in perfectly. So, with the help of this group, I finally broke it off with him, reported him to the police along with pictures of bruises and print screens of some of his sayings and havent opened the door for him since. End of story we all live happily right? Wrong. Enter next guy. He (told me this later when I asked how he found me) had heard of my situation with the abusive relationship among this group that helped me and thought "Oo, she's weak..perfect!" He told me already in the beginning, I believe it was in the first couple of times we spoke, actually, that "Im very..whats the word..Insecure! Im insecure. And you should know that I have the diagnose antisocial personality disorder" Now one would think with what I just went through with the covert, I would be smart enough to focus on healing from that and run right? Wrong again, he told me stories of how he had went to extreme lenghts to help buddies, and offered me money if I needed that so I thought "He's a psychopath but has empathy? How does this fit?" He lied like a horse galops, there were threats of coming to my home and "beat me to death" (I took that seriously since he had stalked another girl from the app, in real life) And when we had talked for a year one late late night and I had to go to sleep, bc I had an early meeting the next day, he out of nowhere (this was common, he always attacked from nowhere at night so I didnt get any sleep and broke down) told me he had a girlfriend of ten years and brought her into a phone call with me. So her and I were equally stunned. I got so chocked I cried for 6 hours that night and when he heard that, he mocked me for it. "Who cries for six hours?!" He told me he was a private military contractor hired by an english company and made lots of money working with security out of country, he showed me pictures of weapons and ammunition and it was shock after shock after shock after shock, always emotional and they were HARD. I left and came back bc I couldnt believe he was for real..this..monster..is this really real? Is this really happening? I went back and read his history on the app where we spoke (a place he didnt think I'd find but I was smart about it and got in) and he told his buddies on there "Several girls have told me I've abused them psychologically and some even said Ive f***ed up their social life permanently" He talked of an HIV scare from having slept with an infected woman (Im so glad I never met him and it was an online contact only) and put up pictures from something that looked like a having visited a prostitute. Every time I left there was a smearcampaign against me where I was an alcoholic pedophile who made porn tapes with black guys and everything he could possibly make up and people believed him. What I *did* do was that when he had pushed me far enough I reacted with reactive abuse and threatened him back, I let it all pour out, I really laied it on thick there and I stand by that and I dont regret it because I was so hurt and so angry about the way I had been treated that it just had to come out somewhere and on him. He of course used that as "See! I told you she was crazy! SHE'S threatening ME!" And showed it to his online buddies. And yes I did and I fully stand by what I said and take responsability for that. I meant it at the time out of pure anger. On it went for 2 more years, I left, came back, couldnt believe my eyes and so on..I didnt leave for a few days at a time, no I left for around 4-6 months at a time to really get away and lick my wounds but I missed him and stupidly went back because as I understand now there was more to learn from him. Finally a short while back I left for good. He cant get any more reactions out of me now because I stopped caring. He could tell me anything and I'd go "Mhm.." So I've become like his girlfriend, she was like a robot, no feelings, hardly dared to speak. She was..gone, personality wise, I felt sooo so bad for her bc she sounded like the sweetest girl and probably was too but he destroyed her for fun. I was before these two a very extroverted person, if I felt alone on a friday night I'd think "Hay, lets go down town and meet some new people! Maybe I can get some new friends.." And I did. I've always have had it easy with getting new friends and to talk to people. Now.. I isolate on purpose. I keep feeling "These...people....actually..live among us" Im what my psychologist said "Shook up" I'd say shellshocked. I couldnt get the "Im insecure" part to fit with psychopathy he claimed to have because psychopaths arent insecure, they're very "Here I come and Im THE biggest, baddest, meanest guy you've ever seen so move over and make room for the king!" But I suspected he was a malignant. This video proved me right. Again Dr. Phil saved my behind. Or rather taught it something. :D *Thank you* Dr. Phil! THANK YOU, thank you! Now that I feel I mis him I can think "So you want a malignant narcissist then?" And retreat. Now the wuestion left is how the *hell* do people heal from these things? My hair..is growing out GREY! I have friggin heart problems. I'm 46! HOW..do you heal? Is it even possible?

[@mariamatis]

I listen to all that as a sponge soaking all in and cheering every word u said as a warrior at the end of their victory! Thank you for u devotion and sacrifice to this matter! We need more voices to shout out like this! Where the wisdom dwelt where does it live? U can’t buy it with gold but sits up high in the house of the High God! Who ever wants to find it will humble and devote their heart to it! Thank you.

[@darleneposthuma7968]

Devastatingly accurate to my experience. I wish I had heard this before ... Thank you, Dr Phil KNOWLEDGE REALLY IS POWER Pass Dr Phil's life-saving message on.

[@michelletaylor1618]

It always works out for him and he says it all the time. He has me scared to death with a play list.

[@johnpick8336]

You are never so alone and cold as when you live in a "Romantic Relationship" with a female narcissist. Thanks Doc.

[@12dd4ds9]

My sister's the total bitch. Such a bad stepmother to my niece since the baby was not yet two y.o. Evil woman; she knows it and she's proud of it.

[@Karen-qd8fl]

My post didn't show so doing again. This is what I live with every day and read and listen to everything I can. Learned something new. Thank you Dr.Phil

[@Karen-qd8fl]

I have to say the whole situation is horrifying and not a whole lot you can do if you are stuck in this. But all new information helps

[@Sewtangle]

I have a daughter who is a malignant narcissist but is also a very fragile individual who is suffering horribly from several different conditions. She is in chronic pain ALL THE TIME and I have been taking care of her and her son. Her health issues keep me tied to her because I can’t just let her suffer and die. She’s my DAUGHTER. It’s horrible. I’m praying that God give me the strength, discernment and the wisdom to know how to safely navigate this nasty, vile relationship!

[@kathrynsinclare8459]

Omgosh! I said this exact thing to my Mother during our drive, and car therapy , today. I said I could see myself demonstrating the traits that you described as a narcissist. The description of the lady that lost their dog and the response from the narcissist. I do believe that anyone can demonstrate narcissist behavior from time to time, but those that fit the DSM diagnosis is different than the times a person might express narcissist behaviors from time to time. Narcissist, you are saying, are unable to join a person in that person’s pain. It’s not that the narcissist chooses not to join a person in their pain, it is that they are unable to. The narcissist brain is not capable of joining other’s in pain. I think I got it. I wish I had you in my hip pocket because I get things about what I’ve learned about in a text book, but when you explain them, I see it, feel it, and understand it. Your descriptions have enhanced my educational experience. I believe you are a professing Christian and I thank God for your willingness to be used by the Holy Spirit. I’ve needed the information you have provided me again and again. Thank you. 😊

[@3timesacharm586]

Love you Dr. Phil, love listening and learning from you!!

[@paulwalton]

Great listening to your talks on this topic. I lived with one and had a child. The impact on my life has been my last 13 years as hell. The impact on me has been significant and only just rebooting my life and career again at the age of 51. I'm so aware of narcissism now.

[@ladyvirgo013]

😢this is my soon ex husband, I wasted 12 years of my life with this monster. When he discarded me, it was so brutal, he had been grooming the secretary at his work while still living at home with me. So devastating to realize that my marriage was a lie

[@cyndim8785]

I have been with mine for 40 years. I wished that I would’ve known this at year one. The Love bombing, gas lighting, accusations and anger. The “Roller Coaster” that never STOPS with a narcissist.

[@ladyvirgo013]

@cyndim8785 I'm sorry 😞 The Amount of damage they do should hold consequences

[@LisaBarrier-mo6nb]

THANK YOU DR.PHIL, Because of you teaching about narcissism (you are the man) and made sense to my painful, confused, no worth , no life for myself. They are ROBOTS . I'm reading your book ( SELF MATTERS). THANK YOU FOREVER.

[@ramonaharter6407]

My ex-husband literally gave me that excuse for cheating. He figured I was going to cheat so he did it first. Worst logic. No reason to think I was going to cheat nor did I.

[@marycallenfu]

You are the absolute specialist. No offence to any of your family but i love you. You have enlightened me. Made me to understand what happened to me all these years. Protect you and yours. To the nth degree. You are THE MAN. Thank you more than you will ever know.

[@RealLadi228]

Keep it coming Dr, Phill We appreciate the education 😁