Seven Types Of Narcissists

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Surviving Narcissism

Surviving Narcissism

Күн бұрын

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@taraw4633
@taraw4633 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you again sir! The worst part is, their “victims” are smart, kind strong people. I’ve seen some amazing people broken by long term marriages with these types. 🌟 keep spreading this info
@bluestingerborg
@bluestingerborg 5 жыл бұрын
Usually The victims are naive, not very streets smart and simple minded.
@bandieboo8102
@bandieboo8102 5 жыл бұрын
Tara .. agree. I have seen highly intelligent women get duped by these types. Dr Linda Martinez documents this phenomenon. She has many many smart clients who were stealthily blindsided by these types.
@taraw4633
@taraw4633 5 жыл бұрын
@@bluestingerborg if "simple" minded means PHD, I guess? I agree with naive, more codependant and instilled in childhood.
@yime6631
@yime6631 5 жыл бұрын
@@bandieboo8102 I can testify to this. I even married the sick effer. Imagine having something horrible happen and at the same time being love bombed. Two weeks after meeting the narc, he strangled me horribly. I stopped breathing and was left on the floor. I don't remember the rest of the day. It happened again a few days later. Didn't lose conciousness the second time. But close. I forgot both incidents for over 33 years. Up to and including surgery for a severely damaged neck. A few years back, I remembered it! Something to add on to all the other abuse. I'm still kinda reeling, but so MUCH more informed of who these freaks are. Where I started? The KJV bible. I want to press charges. Apparently certain violent crimes have no statute in my state. That injury caused permanent harm to me. It's also documented with images. Doctor's records. A note I had written from my chiropractor, and mom who saw the gigantic bruise on my neck a few days post strangling. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HER!!!!!!! I couldn't remember how it got there!!!!!!! I've since talked to doctors explaining to me what I've been going through all these years. So many different things. Too many to list. I've researched strangling and abusers till I fall asleep sometimes, I've read for so long. Focusing is a big issue for me. I have other neurological problems from the injury. People who do this shouldn't be walking free. Could use some advice on what to do next.
@bandieboo8102
@bandieboo8102 5 жыл бұрын
Kristin Mayfield I am extremely sorry to hear what you have been through. I am not qualified to give advice. I only know from my experience. The trail of destruction is long and affects my current life. Too much to detail to go into but I too could take court action on several fronts and win. However my thinking is do I really need to spend what precious time I have left spending years focused on the black sludge. As strong as my desire for revenge is... and it is red hot... I have decided to spend my life bucks on the things that are building me up and slowly slowly carve out a beautiful life for myself. Also I have absolutely no doubt that by taking any of mine to court could and would endanger my life. I wish you all the best in your life whatever you choose to do. Don't give up.. I know it is not easy especially when facing health issues.. I know that one well...one way I stop fixating on the damage done is to realise there are others who are born with something or have a bad accident but still rise to having and doing as much as they possibly can... I liken it to facing getting older.. can't run the mile any longer BUT I can go try something new ..took a bit to come to these realisations...lol.. Best wishes 😊
@jeananne2408
@jeananne2408 5 жыл бұрын
"You're not allowed to be you, because you are supposed to cater to me". Excellent phrase to remember when trying to sort out what is going on in the muddle narcissist create. Thanks
@maggimaierhofer3921
@maggimaierhofer3921 5 жыл бұрын
when i listen to your show i feel not so alone!
@kathrynbaker7529
@kathrynbaker7529 5 жыл бұрын
Same with me.
@SurvivingNarcissism
@SurvivingNarcissism 5 жыл бұрын
That's the point! Dr. C
@kathrynbaker7529
@kathrynbaker7529 5 жыл бұрын
@@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you for all you do, Dr. C! I'm so glad I found your channels.
@studentthe1560
@studentthe1560 5 жыл бұрын
You're not alone. We are in this together. March on!
@maggimaierhofer3921
@maggimaierhofer3921 5 жыл бұрын
@@studentthe1560 yes just walked away just now, have to go back. so cool that im not alone! i`m with you too
@ct3975
@ct3975 5 жыл бұрын
Sometime I don’t remember why I left. Just hearing this video reminds me that leaving was the right thing to do. Thx Dr. C
@lindafrye9206
@lindafrye9206 5 жыл бұрын
At least you were strong enough to leave. They make it so hard to leave when they have you in a subservient position and your self worth is gone.
@universe2198
@universe2198 5 жыл бұрын
Chuck Thomas True.
@susanmadison6466
@susanmadison6466 4 жыл бұрын
I know right? My narc was was if the most generous accommodating accepting people I've ever known the 80% of the time he wasnt being a narc. It was the 20% of the time that his narc came out that damn near destroyed me.
@thinkagain5347
@thinkagain5347 4 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/npzVlJhmZ6aDp5I
@Georgia.O
@Georgia.O 10 ай бұрын
It's shocking how they manipulate others into becoming their own jailers. I can attest from own experience there are times they may tell you to walk away and you will refuse. Then they get to be the generous person who took you back. Don't feel bad if they don't try to hoover you either. If they don't... you know you've come on top.
@bluemoon8268
@bluemoon8268 5 жыл бұрын
... I think you should add an 8th ... the FULL SPECTRUM NARCISSIST ... they are all the above ...
@joannasaadati8810
@joannasaadati8810 5 жыл бұрын
Can someone be covert and the others?
@colleenhahn7205
@colleenhahn7205 5 жыл бұрын
Thank-you! As I watched this, I kept waiting for a description of the narcissistic I know. He's got a bit of two of the subcategories, but he's not quite described by any of them.
@SurvivingNarcissism
@SurvivingNarcissism 5 жыл бұрын
And he would be proud of that fact. Dr. C
@SurvivingNarcissism
@SurvivingNarcissism 5 жыл бұрын
Yes. Dr. C
@Jo-xn2cs
@Jo-xn2cs 5 жыл бұрын
I'm glad you guys asked the question. I was wondering if they could overlap, but you addressed it, Dr. Carter! Thank you so much! The information helps solidify so many things in my mind.
@jackwilson2256
@jackwilson2256 5 жыл бұрын
1. The Status/Vanity Narcissist 2. The Entitled Narcissist 3. The Malignant Narcissist 4. The Covert Narcissist 5. The Fragile victim mindset Narcissist 6. The stubborn know it all Narcissist 7. The Control Freak Narcissist
@SGoff-xs4kz
@SGoff-xs4kz 4 жыл бұрын
I think these categories often overlap. For example, my late father was a vain and entitled narc. My late husband was a malignant, covert, entitled, and control-freak narc. I am currently dealing with a covert and entitled narc and a hedonistic narc. They are all bad. (Sweet Gus sleeping in a chair is the best just like my dog). As a recovering codependent, I usually avoid narcs, but sometimes it's not possible. Thank you for listing these categories.
@drenafaithtaiwhanga3330
@drenafaithtaiwhanga3330 4 жыл бұрын
narcissist are all of those mentioned
@godandsarah1306
@godandsarah1306 4 жыл бұрын
I had a bad experience w an acquaintance who has 5 of these types. I had a friend who had 2. I have a relative who has 3 or 4. I think I have at least 2 or even 3 traits
@darlalong1957
@darlalong1957 4 жыл бұрын
The physically violent Narcissist...
@mysterygirl30011
@mysterygirl30011 4 жыл бұрын
@@godandsarah1306 Yep an dealing with someone I can identify as 2,4 AND 5
@nancygreydee2608
@nancygreydee2608 5 жыл бұрын
My ex is all of these categories, Especially malignant. Such a destructive dangerous person.
@kimberlycardwell8760
@kimberlycardwell8760 5 жыл бұрын
My narc-ex is also ALL seven. Is that a BINGO narcissist? Or a JACKPOT narcissist? LOL. Hehee! 😳😳😳
@DjDiLaRa
@DjDiLaRa 5 жыл бұрын
categories is just telling that 1 or more of these qualities means that the person is a narc. we do not have tıo always find all in one person... but we can find all too yes :)
@studentthe1560
@studentthe1560 5 жыл бұрын
Glad he is your ex and not your present.
@TheWitchOfMultiRealms
@TheWitchOfMultiRealms 5 жыл бұрын
Same here girl. My past 15 years was with a malignant narc with all of the above traits. He simply thinks he's God.
@lindafrye9206
@lindafrye9206 5 жыл бұрын
I lived with the same for 20 years. he crushed me down to believe I was nothing! Good riddance to him!
@djmidas7
@djmidas7 5 жыл бұрын
It sounds like the ones i know have all 7. Incredible. Peace to the Survivors
@ilovemydog615
@ilovemydog615 5 жыл бұрын
I have a covert narcissistic father, and because he was so secretive about his abuse toward me it took me a while to realize that what he was doing to me was wrong
@amber40494
@amber40494 3 жыл бұрын
My dad was the the stubborn know it all control freak combo narc. My therapist suggested I view him as crazy so that I could get over all the harm he caused me.
@artqueen691
@artqueen691 5 жыл бұрын
My head is spinning and I'm dealing with a hybrid! Thank you Dr. Les
@odette8905
@odette8905 5 жыл бұрын
I feel there is room for a full spectrum narcissist. The narc I know is at least a mix of malignant, covert, fragile victim. Maybe it doesn't matter the label - the term Shape Shifter comes to mind as they use whatever narc tactics work with their victims. Another excellent video Dr C. Thank you!
@lar8200
@lar8200 5 жыл бұрын
Yes I was thinking that as well in reference to my mother. She plays the victum role excellently but also uses passive aggressive behaviors and lies to manipulate others to get what she thinks shes entitled to. She always thinks she is rights, has never done anything wrong and hold grudges against everybody. Meanwhile robbing you of your self worth, and happiness.
@odette8905
@odette8905 5 жыл бұрын
@@lar8200 Very similar to my experiences. Shape shifting malignant narcs.
@dianem2136
@dianem2136 5 жыл бұрын
Completely agree! I like the "shape shifter" term, and completely fits the narc I deal with. He gets to know what works with whatever victim(s) he is using at the moment. Uses the "fragile victim" on new ones, especially if they are willing to do whatever he wants (for $, if they don't do it out of "pity" for the poor old man). He has tried all of them on me at least once, and usually it is a mixture of all of them for the most part now. I pray for strength daily to deal with the lies, story "changes", ongoing discard BS. Thank you Dr. C, for the continued education on this disorder. Your videos help to keep me sane...when some days I feel the "crazy rollercoaster ride in his circus" will drive me crazy!
@odette8905
@odette8905 5 жыл бұрын
It seems to be true that these sad damaged individuals have little real identity of their own so they effectively hijack the identities of others by mirroring and mimicking them - a slow poison tactic. They will mould and shape shift into whatever the other needs/wants to see, in order to win them over and begin the covert assault. No contact is the only way out. And seeing them for what they really are as the mask slips.
@carriesausser6773
@carriesausser6773 3 жыл бұрын
"you're not allowed to be you, you're supposed to cater to me". Perfectly said.
@nhgriff1
@nhgriff1 5 жыл бұрын
My husband, is entitled, stubborn and definitely controlling; my brother is covert. Learning a lot with these videos.
@lindaw.1568
@lindaw.1568 5 жыл бұрын
"They can argue with a tree stump..." LOL! Oh yes!!
@chinookvalley
@chinookvalley 5 жыл бұрын
The knowledge is coming to me late in my life, but ooohh how thankful I am to understand what has been killing me all these years. Teach a man how to fish and he can feed himself for the rest of his life.
@hrsyms83
@hrsyms83 5 жыл бұрын
Every narc I know is a combination of several of these categories. Thank you for this information! These videos are helping me heal
@marisolpinney8406
@marisolpinney8406 5 жыл бұрын
THERE IS also THE ONES WHO ENCOMPASSES ALL SEVEN TRAITS !! I LIVE WITH ONE OF THAT TYPE "ALL SEVEN"
@daisymae4096
@daisymae4096 5 жыл бұрын
I listened the first time and recognized FIVE TRAITS that I was subjected to, manipulated by and brain washed for twenty plus years. Married for twenty one years, the second wife, two children and this past year has been about awakening and awareness of who my Lord Jesus Christ is and asking HIM for wisdom and knowledge for these lost years. The ex was married to the first wife for twenty-one years also, three children, one died then another was adopted as a replacement. The first ex has Stockholm Snydrome and of course the biological children are in the fathers camp. Doing his dirty financial deed that left her destitute and alone. She has learned to dislike and not believe there is a God and live in her life of isolation. I have been fighting for freedom for more than twelve years, tied up in lawsuits and through my Lords help beginning to unravel the ex’s lies, cons, sexual abusive past, and his devious destruction he has cast on anyone that has opposed him. Get behind me Satan, God is driving this vessel. The ex, his co-horts, many that side with him because of his “mismanagement” of my future has also been difficult for me. He is a charming snake/wolf in sheep’s clothing. What has been done in the darkness will come into the light, for the covert. My light shines bright because I’m never alone. Good luck to all the women who have dealt with this in their lives. Impoverished and broken, as the first wife says, I do not have that much hate, I have that much hurt. Money has bought this man a life that he can sit back and watch the judges and lawyers as if they are god’s in a gladiator match. When a man studies at the seminary, is touched by his own childhood trauma, and cannot stand the thought of not winning the battle becomes real. 21, 21, 21. Fill your heart with LOVE because we are not the only one hurting in the battle against him. Pray for the weak minded for they will be a slave through the misinformation their child like minds are given.
@daisymae4096
@daisymae4096 5 жыл бұрын
Second listen-All Seven!
@franbrown3694
@franbrown3694 5 жыл бұрын
Marisol Pinney Me too for 33 years. Divorce is not an option, so I avoid him as much as possible. Mine definitely encompasses the seven traits mentioned above.
@wanderer0617
@wanderer0617 5 жыл бұрын
I love how you chuckle while talking about these creeps. It helps me lighten up, even for a while, during my healing from the trauma of narc abuse. I find the ex narc a little of all of these types. Thanks again for your wisdom and kindness Dr Carter ❣
@chamomiletea9562
@chamomiletea9562 5 жыл бұрын
I love the chuckle too. It reminds me that these people who wormed into my life are not really the smart people in the room. They actually have low emotional intelligence and there is something pathetic and tragically comical about what they are dishing out.
@wanderer0617
@wanderer0617 5 жыл бұрын
@@chamomiletea9562 Yes! Dr Carter's delivery makes it feel that way. His matter of fact with a smile way of saying what narcs say or think..."yeah, I'm pretty special" It makes me smile🙂
@AmyLSacks
@AmyLSacks 5 жыл бұрын
@@wanderer0617 Yeah, back in the day when Mr. Rodgers taught us that we were each special, I don't think he was saying, "Be a narcissist, Kids." :D
@carolinegraystone9308
@carolinegraystone9308 5 жыл бұрын
I'm so tired battling these 7 demons in one person. How did life get so crazy , when all we want is peace and love .Also how did they get to become so nasty and cruel. Thank you Dr Carter. You seem to have much incite on these rotten heartless people.
@sunbeagle9769
@sunbeagle9769 5 жыл бұрын
I worked for a seriously messed up narc; this person would argue with a tree stump just like Dr. Carter stated. I listened to a heated argument one afternoon over the differences between the Almond Joy and the Mounds candy bars......dark or milk chocolate. I had to leave the room and go outside to get away from the two children arguing about candy bars instead of doing their damn work. Oh and BTW this person was well into the age of 60 plus. Never ever do they grow up.
@chadandrews98
@chadandrews98 5 жыл бұрын
sun beagle Thanks. Most focus for NPD is is romantic relationships but dealing with NPD in other settings is valuable
@UrbanWiseWifey
@UrbanWiseWifey 5 жыл бұрын
Just reading this made me go, Ugh! I know someone exactly like this and he's over 60 as well. Just a big overgrown BABY!
@sunbeagle9769
@sunbeagle9769 5 жыл бұрын
@@chadandrews98 Chad - Oh my, these types are everywhere! I fleshed out my family of origin and the "borderline" abuse of my childhood. This sets you up for a life time of "re-living" and inviting the familiar narc's back into your life. Just like a boomerang they keep on returning, with different faces.....only until you wake up to it and really going no contact. Speaking for myself only......
@sunbeagle9769
@sunbeagle9769 5 жыл бұрын
@@UrbanWiseWifey Oh yea, I got you, typing my memory of this person made me go ..Ugh.
@bellasworld8995
@bellasworld8995 5 жыл бұрын
sun beagle Reminds me of the time my father drove 3 hours to my house, stomped across the yard and yelled, “why are doing that, that’s a waste of money!”, because I was filling up a bird feeder. My money. My house. My business 🙄
@marisolpinney8406
@marisolpinney8406 5 жыл бұрын
I AM STILL IN AMAZED THAT SUCH COLD HEARTED EVIL WALKS AMONG HUMAN DAILY!!
@MoPoppins
@MoPoppins 5 жыл бұрын
Tracy Lehane - No, they’re born that way and can’t change their neurology. Empaths are able to transmute their lives alchemically, no matter how tragic their circumstances, but narcs never take accountability for themselves, so that’s why they’re like that and remain that way for all their lives.
@nanamom4
@nanamom4 5 жыл бұрын
I never get used to the evil dished out. It will never be normal to observe such utter selfish jerks.
@nanamom4
@nanamom4 5 жыл бұрын
@Tracy Lehane I disagree. Maybe they were broken in the beginning. But they CHOOSE evil by rejecting love They hate love.
@thinkagain5347
@thinkagain5347 4 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/npzVlJhmZ6aDp5I
@annemeridien3384
@annemeridien3384 5 жыл бұрын
Les Carter is a genius. He has helped me for the last 6 months. Thank you!
@chadandrews98
@chadandrews98 5 жыл бұрын
Hi Gus and Dr C. These subtypes are good. For covert NPD it is “quite a trick” to be grandiose , always right AND be able to play the victim role when needed.
@jenniferpierce6420
@jenniferpierce6420 5 жыл бұрын
Amen!
@brendadavis5209
@brendadavis5209 5 жыл бұрын
But they are so good at it Chad Andrews! :) Don't worry Gus, I took enough notes for both of us! Great one Dr C! They all are but they seem to get better and better! Or maybe my mind is more awakened. TY!!
@starlightsky655
@starlightsky655 5 жыл бұрын
My father is all the above, experienced every type. It’s like banging your head on a brick wall, look after yourselves and don’t expect anything good from them and you’ll be ok.
@tamaramagdalene1000
@tamaramagdalene1000 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you. This is excellent. Lately I've HAD it with my mom and her covert Narc tactics. Today I finally told her I refuse to live in your vortex of me, me, me, I, I, I...forget that. Ever since I was a kid, she had this neurotic obsession with being a victim and making me feel guilt for having any sovereignty or happiness. She wears her arrogance with the mask of "I'm a good person". She uses God to justify being WRONG. Every time she wants to hurt someone, she will claim she had a dream from God and this is what He said about you. I'm sick of the pandering for attention, the lack of empathy, the deadness in her spirit, the chronic lying and manipulating and reinventing history to make you feel like you're going crazy when you know exactly what she said. I've been laying down the law with her these days. I love her but I will not put up with the bull. I have the right to have peace.
@teri9636
@teri9636 5 жыл бұрын
Totally know a full spectrum narcissist!!! Thanks again Dr. Wes for a most informative video and clues to watch. Gus is such a great listener!!!💕✌
@JadenHybrid
@JadenHybrid 5 жыл бұрын
Try a wolf pack at work carrying multiple and cross over types. This video is great.
@familystansfield896
@familystansfield896 5 жыл бұрын
Jaden Hybrid g g/til X
@llisamichele
@llisamichele 5 жыл бұрын
MY HUSBAND IS STUBBORN & KNOW IT ALL AND VERY CONTROLLING !!!! IM EXHAUSTED N READY TO FLY AND BE ME AGAIN !
@Sunny-iq6hm
@Sunny-iq6hm 5 жыл бұрын
I came to Dr. Carter's videos to get insight into the suspected narcissist in my life, I got insight and education on this that has been very helpful and validating. The most important thing I got from him, however, is insight into myself, and how to be a better person. Thank you so much for that 😊
@elliotyudenfriend7481
@elliotyudenfriend7481 2 жыл бұрын
Yes. Everyone can learn how to have better relationships with others by listening to Dr. Carter.
@greenbird6491
@greenbird6491 5 жыл бұрын
Gus is healing my heart, what a sweetie 🌹🌹🐶🐶🐶
@ziaxmaster81
@ziaxmaster81 5 жыл бұрын
Malignant Narcissit , one of this destroy me like i dont even know who i am anymore , sometimes i feel i did wrong and i cant stop loving the person .
@sattaway6854
@sattaway6854 5 жыл бұрын
Hi Gus...love you guys.- Always help me feel better. My mother has NPD; right now I'm no contact. I'm much more at peace when she's not in my life.
@maria12501
@maria12501 5 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry! My eldest daughter is the narcissist, i tried to help her when she was growing up because i would see her lack of empathy but she didn't care. We haven't spoken on over 7 yrs. I was too soft and her father too harsh. I don't know if I'll ever see her again. Good luck to you dear. ❤
@vals74
@vals74 5 жыл бұрын
Yes, peace in an indication that you have made the correct decision, however, sticking to it is not quite as easy.
@sattaway6854
@sattaway6854 5 жыл бұрын
@@vals74 She's 82 and set in her ways...she is programmed without fail to require that you (the other person) must come to her first. So, for me, it's pretty easy since I'm in my 50's now. I long since got over the major guilt. My father was murdered because of her and my brother went no contact in 2006 and that included me all members of what's left of our birth family. So...I take care of my family. My story is not the usual. I am a survivor to the point where I don't even have words to describe how I ever landed on my feet and was able to stay there; to prosper, to have my own identity separate from her horrors. It took me many many years just to be kind of okay. So, actually at this point it has been more than easy- I require it.
@leslieprice-norman161
@leslieprice-norman161 4 жыл бұрын
@@sattaway6854 My mother was a know-it-all and a little of the covert as well. I went no contact and it was the most peaceful 2 years in my adult life. She died and I went to care for her a few weeks before she died, (stroke) but had to deal with the "useful idiots" (words from these videos) she had lied so much so that they disliked me. The idiots had no idea that they had been manipulated by her. I have no contact with the three of them who she gave money to and things to keep them loyal. Now the hardest part is getting over the nastiness and lies she told about me to make herself look better or try to win. Putting a name to the treatment I received as a teen and adult from her has helped me know I didn't deserve the way she treated me. I made it a point to be nothing like her and that has been a good decision in my life. I hope you feel better having no contact; I know it is a harsh decision to come to. Sending good thoughts your way.
@sattaway6854
@sattaway6854 4 жыл бұрын
@@leslieprice-norman161 Thank you and I wish you peace and prosperity. It's been another year with no contact and it's funny every year that goes by I realize more and more just how empty and offensive she was and is. I would never live my life or treat my children the way she did. Sometimes the people that need therapy the most are the ones that never get it.
@robertkelly3313
@robertkelly3313 5 жыл бұрын
I was watching Gus all the while, his relaxed posture reflects on you. Many thanks for opening my eyes in many ways.
@rondagantt4222
@rondagantt4222 5 жыл бұрын
robert kell
@dianemiron4772
@dianemiron4772 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. This is the clearest explanation I have heard of the different types of Narcissists.
@curlytopkitty2468
@curlytopkitty2468 5 жыл бұрын
Thankyou Dr C!! So good to know im not crazy but I do feel very alone. Its a heavy weight in my chest of deep sadness. But these videos help so much. Thanks again...and go easy on Gus..😘😘😘
@TheGreenExitus
@TheGreenExitus 5 жыл бұрын
Overcoming a codependency always comes with the feeling of loneliness. As long as you know that it's part of the process and don't resort to any other dependencies (like some do with drugs), it's probably healthy to have that feeling. Maybe you can find a method to gain what you feel that you've lost or are being left by in some other way. For instance through having inspiring conversations with people or meditating on that subject (/watching these kinds of videos and thinking about it).
@Jezebel066
@Jezebel066 5 жыл бұрын
Email me if you want. Haymomma3@gmail.com These videos have helped me so much. Only 2 weeks in & learning its not ME after all. Was trying so hard to make my husband love me again. To no avail. He’s not speaking to me now for god knows what reason 🙄
@Himpnatizer
@Himpnatizer 5 жыл бұрын
Finding your channel has helped me so much after a year of being unable to help myself. Thank you!
@EstherChapman118
@EstherChapman118 4 жыл бұрын
me too
@ColoursEverywher
@ColoursEverywher 5 жыл бұрын
I'm hooked on learning about narcissists bc you're so pleasant to listen to!
@TrottingAlongWithK
@TrottingAlongWithK 5 жыл бұрын
Wow. I wish I have learned this before. This should be part of school curriculum.
@ickidierlam7364
@ickidierlam7364 4 жыл бұрын
I agree with you. Merry Christmas 🎄
@TrottingAlongWithK
@TrottingAlongWithK 4 жыл бұрын
@@ickidierlam7364 , Merry Christmas! 🎄
@elliotyudenfriend7481
@elliotyudenfriend7481 2 жыл бұрын
I find that one of the best things about Dr. Carter’s videos is that if you have narcissistic tendencies, you can see yourself in them. For instance, I have just seen that I am in the helpless narcissist category. If I can see it, I can change it. Not every narcissist is of a malignant nature.
@SurvivingNarcissism
@SurvivingNarcissism 2 жыл бұрын
Right. Be the change.
@studentthe1560
@studentthe1560 5 жыл бұрын
My ex used a different narcissistic mask in the presence of different people. For instance, he was an entitled, covert type with others, the fragile victim category type with me, and the covert know it all, competitive narcissist with everyone. He had an armoire full of masks.
@elliotyudenfriend7481
@elliotyudenfriend7481 2 жыл бұрын
If you have grown up in a family, including extended family, in which all of them were narcs or neurotics in some way or other, then how could you ever have learned to behave healthily toward others? I’m even narcissistic toward myself! I know someone who just got out of prison. He told me you MUST join one of the gangs when you’re in there. If you don’t, then you are everybody’s target. Similar situation when you grow up in a family of narcs. You act in whatever way you can to keep from getting hurt. Your “personality” is a result of your circumstances, not a personality that has been shaped and nurtured by wise, calm individuals like Dr. Carter and his wife (assuming he has one.)
@jcszot
@jcszot 5 жыл бұрын
Hi Gus!! Thanks, Doc! Your channel is SO informative and vital to “Our protection” God Bless!
@goodwilltriumph2842
@goodwilltriumph2842 5 жыл бұрын
Dr Les you are fantastic! Thank you so much for what you do. You are a blessing to so many people. xo
@Emper0rH0rde
@Emper0rH0rde 4 жыл бұрын
"The Fragile Victim Narcissist." I have a sister like this.
@valeriegriner5644
@valeriegriner5644 5 жыл бұрын
I like the way that you mentioned their lack of a sense of HUMOR! I find that if we can't LAUGH at things(including ourselves, at times)...life is not as much fun! Quite frankly, I get along better with my DOG than I do much of my human(control-freak) family! My dog always smiles and wags her tail at my jokes!
@TM-hl9me
@TM-hl9me 3 жыл бұрын
This is very enlightening. They want to rob me of being me. Such insights are strengthening. Thank you, Dr. C.
@victoriabellanova2280
@victoriabellanova2280 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Dr. Carter. Your channel is helping me understand a situation in my family!!!
@KARAMERICA
@KARAMERICA 5 жыл бұрын
Amazing but true! My Narc has all seven of those sub-catagories!
@hoth1009
@hoth1009 5 жыл бұрын
My ex had a few of each traits for sure but definitely a covert. He robbed me of happiness, joy, trust, security, stability..the list goes on and im so happy I'm free of him.
@tg8445
@tg8445 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks very helpful reminders I’m 68 and just now figuring this out I never put it together all the narcissist around me until recently & my sister hit all marks ,Ive been a magnet for them my whole life. GEEZ !
@SurvivingNarcissism
@SurvivingNarcissism 5 жыл бұрын
Today is the first day of the rest of your life, so lean forward as you learn. Glad you're figuring it out. Dr. C
@kimberlyadams1300
@kimberlyadams1300 5 жыл бұрын
"They can argue with a tree stump." Hahahahaha! And then there's Gus, who right now is about as active as a tree stump!
@asseyez-vous6492
@asseyez-vous6492 5 жыл бұрын
kimberly adams Gus needs his sleep 😴 😁😂
@carriekelsey7672
@carriekelsey7672 5 жыл бұрын
Dr Les, Thanks. I have been married to two of the types of narcissists you describe. I like having Gus there relaxing to remind me that there are NON narcissists out there! Blessings!
@choosejoy93
@choosejoy93 5 жыл бұрын
Wow...this was SO helpful!!! My dad can have some very obvious narcissistic tendencies like the whole "my way or the highway!" or "honor and respect me!" or not allowing me to make my own adult choices. He LOVED pulling the "if you want to be treated like an adult then act like one!" crap but then would be angry if I chose the opposite of what he felt was "right" and give me the same speech over and over again. So much control. So much pride and ego and can never admit or apologize when he's wrong. My mother is more tricky...I've seen her more as a victim of the narc but after this video im thinking she's a combination of the covert narc and the helpless vicitim type. Is she a full blown narc?? Not sure...but she has tendencies in those two categories. Really helps to understand the different types! Thank you!!
@kimberlycardwell8760
@kimberlycardwell8760 5 жыл бұрын
Excellent video! My ex is ALL seven of these, depending upon th setting / who he is with / anddepending on the environment he is in. He is a chameleon and also a Jekyll & Hyde. 😐😳🤥 Is there a name for a narcissist who falls into ALL seven categories? Is that called a JACKPOT narcissist? 😆😦😟
@stacyg5755
@stacyg5755 5 жыл бұрын
You are so wonderful to help us all out like this. What a beautiful teacher you are!!!!! My MIL is a shade of all of these. It’s been a total nightmare but now I’ve got tools because of you. THANK YOU!
@Nina-vv3ev
@Nina-vv3ev 5 жыл бұрын
It sucks when the court system enables narcissists & forces families to keep putting up with their nonsense... it’s very unhealthy
@SurvivingNarcissism
@SurvivingNarcissism 5 жыл бұрын
Yes. Dr. C
@johnnyvalter940
@johnnyvalter940 5 жыл бұрын
The Fragile Victim Narcissist, in my unprofessional opinion, also tends to have crises (usually caused by a bad decision they've made) and then everyone has to drop everything and come running to help.
@olgakim4848
@olgakim4848 3 жыл бұрын
And to think we had a full-spectrum, malignant narcissist as leader of our great country for fours years, which totally added to my stress, anxiety and anger. *shudders* Still a shock to the system because he just won't go away, still having his Covid super-spreader, KKK rallies. Sorry about the rant, Dr. Carter, I know I shouldn't involve politics in these types of discussions and forums.
@elizabanach4440
@elizabanach4440 5 жыл бұрын
Such a lovely dog😍
@kathleenreardon7531
@kathleenreardon7531 4 жыл бұрын
My soon-to-be ex has all of these 'qualities'. It's been a horrid experience. Sometimes my 'narc' will have the audacity to ask me if I love him. Here's what I say. " I love the man you pretended to be". If he says , "what does that mean.?" I stay completely silent, because we all know he knows what I mean. Thanks Dr. Carter and Gus.
@JosephConroy
@JosephConroy 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you Doctor Carter. Your videos are so insightful and helpful. Anytime I feel like I may be slipping back and wanting to break the no contact, I just watch a video of yours, or two, and that desire goes away so wonderfully.
@martcichocki5571
@martcichocki5571 5 жыл бұрын
Great simile/metaphor with the fish/narcissist. Crystal clear. Great Communicator! So precise. The line of the know it all, was: "no! No! You don't understand!"
@djangowoof
@djangowoof 5 жыл бұрын
Helpful as always and so good to see Gus. For those trying to get out of a narc relationship, a dog can really help; I havw a rescue dog and it's more like he rescued me.
@lylux4985
@lylux4985 5 жыл бұрын
Thankyou. I recognize these traits in a few people. Also, recognized a trait you mentioned in myself! Time to correct that non quality! Thanks again. :)
@starlightsky655
@starlightsky655 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for these videos, they are a great help. It’s sad that so many people had endured this treatment but what I’ve taken from this is how exactly not to treat people, I never want to be like them, they are cruel, cruel cruel.
@UnKissPaTii
@UnKissPaTii 5 жыл бұрын
My mother in law. She’s 51 yrs old and talks about how she used to be a nurse in Mexico and she provided for her siblings and she knew this and that. Yet she can’t even seem to write/read fluently, she hijacks conversations and interrupts like crazy with irrelevant topics. My husband says she never gave him affection, never. To this day it shows, she works but other than that, she lives like a teenager, sleeping, eating junk, and partying. Then she blames us for not driving her to a doctor for her health issues, yet she finds a way to make it to parties. She is in denial about her obesity and continues to buy tight clothing and acts shocked when it doesn’t fit, but she never blames her own habits. She’s never expressed things like being proud of her son or apologizing when she was in the wrong. She’s passive aggressive and ignores us some days (even our 5 yr old). She’s always criticizing and talking about others, always! Or else she doesn’t talk. She acts very naive and like the good person in front of others and victimizes herself. She makes sure to avoid eating my food or ever attending things that I may be doing (like my graduation she preferred to go do a prayer meeting and eat a bunch of food). I can go on and on, she acts like she’s so sweet and innocent and naive but I think she knows what she’s doing.
@SurvivingNarcissism
@SurvivingNarcissism 5 жыл бұрын
Sounds like you and she need lots and lots of good boundaries! Dr. C
@UnKissPaTii
@UnKissPaTii 5 жыл бұрын
Surviving Narcissism the hard part is that she lives with us.
@SophieBird07
@SophieBird07 5 жыл бұрын
Love Gus. I miss my boy Crosby who looked a lot like Gus. Best friend I ever had for 14 yrs, my bud through many narc experiences.
@jenniferannfox2316
@jenniferannfox2316 5 жыл бұрын
I''ve learned so much from you. I can certainly understand how different they can be. Being in a relationship with one is devastating to say the least.
@betweenames
@betweenames 5 жыл бұрын
They are all pie charts of every type with varying portions of the pie, it seems to me. Snobby, hypocritical, gossiping, condescending with their incessant complaints and criticisms, fantasy driven, disrespectful on the sly, conscience an obstruction to getting what they want, shallow, demeaning, mocking, blaming, demanding, self pitying, creepy no humored robots I know I sure love mine! Another great summary, Dr. C. THANKS
@ednabmode9223
@ednabmode9223 5 жыл бұрын
My mother has all of these, she seems to shift between them depending on her needs at the time. She could cheerfully argue with her own shadow!
@ronw484
@ronw484 5 жыл бұрын
Had to add this video to my favorites so I can always quickly access it. Hi Gus! Today, when I got up and turned on the computer, I found an email from the narc I used to know and haven't responded to in almost four years (full no contact) since his last big tantrum and his refusing to have anything to do with me to "punish" me. In the email, he lies and says it's all the fault of his father- that after the last time we saw each other, his father threatened him with being disowned if we continued to associate. However, his tantrum was in full force way before I ever dropped him back off at his house that day~ sulking, looking furious, refusing to speak etc. The same routine he'd pulled before on a number of occasions including the follow up ghosting/refusing all contact. He then listed a number of horrible events that have happened to him since we last spoke- his father's death, his mother's declining health, a car accident and related lawsuit plus other legal issues. I guess that's a sympathy ploy and a version of playing "poor me, I'm a victim!" He then said he'd thought of coming over to see me many times but was afraid to as he didn't know how I'd react. I'm guessing that's his way of shifting the blame for his behavior onto me~ he's "willing to associate" but I'm just (implied) being unresponsive and hateful~ the old " It's not me-it's you!" routine. I must admit there was a strong temptation to write him back and calmly explain how I knew he was talking garbage etc but that would just segue into him playing the victim and denying everything and trying to convince me of how wrong I was about everything. Who needs that predictable routine playing out? I'm staying full no contact but have to wonder how long it will be before they finally give up and leave me alone. If I relented and renewed contact, all I'd have to look forward to is more episodic tantrums erupting. No thanks! Oh yes! He also made it a big point to say that after his father's death, the house, the car and his father's company are all now solely in his name. I don't care. Another thing is that he said his father's Cadillac had been destroyed in the accident 5 months prior to his father's death but since his office is on one of the regular routes I travel to certain stores, I'm pretty sure I'd seen it sitting in the parking lot after that date. Time travel, perhaps?
@goodenoughgirl8102
@goodenoughgirl8102 5 жыл бұрын
Ron W I say just let them have their Karma. Poor them 🙄 actually reaping what they’ve sown-or then again, prob just lying and twisting things like they always do.
@joekuvorkian
@joekuvorkian 2 жыл бұрын
Without getting too much into it, your videos have helped me unpack the trauma with my mother.
@lughnie
@lughnie 5 жыл бұрын
Another great video. And I love Gus snoozing in the background! 💜
@Vixinaful
@Vixinaful 5 жыл бұрын
That dog is so cute.
@gloriastroedecke2717
@gloriastroedecke2717 5 жыл бұрын
Gus is very cute. Thank you. I find your videos helpful. My sister is my primary narcissist, so I have had her from the day I was born. Sometimes I feel like I am taking a Master Class in Narcissism when I consider all the narcissists that I have met and continue to meet. It makes me tired.
@humblysoftlygentlypaxprofu6997
@humblysoftlygentlypaxprofu6997 5 жыл бұрын
I had to watch this video twice, because I was so absorbed in what dr. says that I missed Gus! Thought it was a cushion!
@northstar5919
@northstar5919 5 жыл бұрын
How could you miss him he is soo zen😊
@nikkilove6128
@nikkilove6128 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks Dr Carter! Great video! I can see my ex-narc in all those categories😖😖😖
@kylielogan8771
@kylielogan8771 2 жыл бұрын
All these perpetrators have one thing in common they enjoy hurting they’re victims.
@mh-tu9dd
@mh-tu9dd 5 жыл бұрын
Love the dog on the chair in the background....looks very relaxed!
@hydebrown1805
@hydebrown1805 5 жыл бұрын
35 yr survivor.. still hanging in there. Thankyou for some new tools!
@melodiesproul4109
@melodiesproul4109 5 жыл бұрын
Someone hit the dislike button before the vid even started. Someone really needs to get a life! lol On the bright side, Gus is in the background so all is right with the world! :D
@captainrankin6865
@captainrankin6865 5 жыл бұрын
Hey I just hit the LIKE first then watch .... :-)
@melodiesproul4109
@melodiesproul4109 5 жыл бұрын
@@captainrankin6865 Me too! I always know I'm going to like Dr. C!
@melodiesproul4109
@melodiesproul4109 5 жыл бұрын
@Kathleen Campbell I'm sure you are right! lol
@natewilson111
@natewilson111 5 жыл бұрын
Weirdly enough, there's actually a small percentage likes and dislikes on each YT vid that are accidentally pressed! (Kinda like a pocket-dial)
@melodiesproul4109
@melodiesproul4109 5 жыл бұрын
@@natewilson111 That makes sense. Let's hope the one dislike is a blooper. lol
@wildthang68
@wildthang68 5 жыл бұрын
Love your videos very helpful and easy to understand i was blind sided by a narcissist its hurtful to say the least when you find out they are nothing like who they pretend to be that person don't even excist i felt so betrayed, humiliated, crushed , and everything else im 51 years old and i thought i finally met my soulmate but i always had this feeling in my gut and there were signs they really think you're stupid but never thought a person cold be so cold ...WOW is an understatement
@kathrynbaker7529
@kathrynbaker7529 5 жыл бұрын
Excellent video, as always. Thank you so much!
@gennyalvarez7038
@gennyalvarez7038 5 жыл бұрын
I thank you from California. I got a covert narc and a fragile narc to apologize. One indirectly and the other one directly. 7 types breakdown helped me identify them. Thank you. No way have done it without his help. My whole family are codependents. We were all at the mercy of this fragile narc. Took my life back. Don't feel depressed anymore. My brother is a good man and he married a fragile Narc. saw him exhausted all the time. I started to worry. But I have been feeding him fuel through powerful text messages. I know she did not see it coming. This is so powerful. Thank you. You are doing Gods work. A million times thank you.
@pamicampbell4265
@pamicampbell4265 5 жыл бұрын
After being married to one for 25yrs. It's hard for me to deal with this. But I'm doing better with the invo you are helping me. Thank you...
@Barb-iu3el
@Barb-iu3el 2 жыл бұрын
I was married 17 yrs. I had no idea his lack of character had a name, I should have left him after the first 24 hrs of marriage. Over the course of the 17 yrs, me and my children were treated as his personal slaves. My 2 oldest children were not his. I cannot help but wonder what might have been if I would have walked away in the very beginning. To this day, I cannot bring myself to say his name in the rare times he is mentioned. It's been over 15 years ago I finally walked out and he has since passed away. It is all still too fresh for me
@jennifertrimble7627
@jennifertrimble7627 5 жыл бұрын
I have learned a lot from watching your videos about narcissists. I love that I can share with my clients and friends information about them to spot them easily. Thank you for the work you do.
@SurvivingNarcissism
@SurvivingNarcissism 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for passing it along! Dr. C
@debrahelgeson6677
@debrahelgeson6677 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you dr c!!!! Life shouldn’t be this difficult. Your input supports myself & others. Much appreciated.
@SurvivingNarcissism
@SurvivingNarcissism 5 жыл бұрын
You're right, it shouldn't be this difficult. But there are some who make it their task to gunk things up. Dr. C
@sockpuppet2415
@sockpuppet2415 3 жыл бұрын
I so appreciate learning what you teach. You make the invisible visible.
@tcmibllymiblly9991
@tcmibllymiblly9991 5 жыл бұрын
Hello Guss. When the video started and I saw Guss sitting behind you, I felt comfortable. My dog, sits beside me all the time.. She helps feel more confident to approach people. She's my lucky charm. Guss is a good reference to me. Thank for the video. I took a lot of notes. The first sentence I decided to write in the notebook was: I AM NOT CRAZY. It's time for me to look ahead.
@asseyez-vous6492
@asseyez-vous6492 5 жыл бұрын
T C Miblly Miblly Dogs (animals and birds in general) are excellent indicators of sussing out bad people! Always trust animals on this 😊
@wendycarew5120
@wendycarew5120 5 жыл бұрын
Love you Gus! Thank you Dr. Carter! When I’m falling down, I just listen to you and I have hope again! Thank you as always! May your days be great, and your nights be peaceful! 💞
@SurvivingNarcissism
@SurvivingNarcissism 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks!! Dr. C
@lcook3528
@lcook3528 5 жыл бұрын
We need more people like Gus. :)
@elliotyudenfriend7481
@elliotyudenfriend7481 2 жыл бұрын
The best therapist I ever worked with (I spent years with her) burst out laughing the day I came into her office with a book titled, “The Characteristics of Healthy Families.” That was 30 years ago, and I have not come near changing my opinion that her reaction was appropriate. In 2022, it’s getting to where you have to guess which letter of the alphabet someone is before you can even have a conversation with them, so as to begin trying to see if they’re emotionally healthy or not.
@Enkeltulipan
@Enkeltulipan 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you! Am very greatful, that you present all these behaviors with words. And hej Gus, from Stockholm!
@ethnow1562
@ethnow1562 5 жыл бұрын
I needed this, I live around narcissist all my life they all have different personality, this explain everything perfectly 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@33fisu
@33fisu 5 жыл бұрын
Insightful as always🌟Share, share, share with friends and family, Dr C. is such an amazing teacher / professional 👏😊❤️🇵🇹 blessings
@kbhprinsesse
@kbhprinsesse 5 жыл бұрын
"You are not allowed to be YOU because you're supposed to cater to ME". With this type of reasoning my mother threatened to excluded me from the family when I was 25 if I continued to pursue my independence and pursuit of happiness.
@wendyg.2664
@wendyg.2664 5 жыл бұрын
I love when Dr. Carter said, "They could argue with a tree stump." I laughed out loud! So true!
@SurvivingNarcissism
@SurvivingNarcissism 5 жыл бұрын
You say things like that when you've lived your entire adult life in Texas. Dr. C
@lindafrye9206
@lindafrye9206 5 жыл бұрын
You're the Best--very helpful. i have several narcissist in my life. You help me understand the abuse they put out and pain they cause others.Thank you.
@coriofthelord
@coriofthelord 5 жыл бұрын
hi ya Gus :D thank you for this video series Dr. Carter. i just ran across you in June 2019 after being left by a narcissist back in February, and this would have been our 8 yr anniversary. i now have the tools i need to let the healing begin. all Glory to Almighty Father in Jesus name
@LR-nh3or
@LR-nh3or 5 жыл бұрын
#5 ! Finally someone who put into words what I have been trying to figure out for the last 2yrs. Thank you!
@MRR-ef3ds
@MRR-ef3ds 5 жыл бұрын
Excellent down to earth explanation. Hi Gus 🙂
@ol7980
@ol7980 4 жыл бұрын
stepdad is a malignant, somewhat stubborn, & status/vanity narcissist, stepbrother is a stubborn & status/vanity narcissist, and ex-boyfriend turned out to be a covert narcissist who tried to ruin my social life. they all made me very unhappy and i never knew why, thanks for the video!
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