Phil In The Blanks | Episode 182 | Relationship Reality Check

How Not To Settle In A Relationship Pt1
We often get back what we give in our connections with others, whether it is a friend, co-worker, lover, or spouse. Dr. Phil talks about this idea and emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for the quality of our relationships by being a "life manager." He also highlights the significance of having a positive relationship with oneself before improving other relationships.
Learn how we can take control of our own lives and program our relationships based on our lifestyle choices.
Phil In The Blanks | Episode 182 | Relationship Reality Check
#mentalhealth #relationship #drphil

[@fionagrant2023]

l've put up boundaries and will not tolerate being mistreated moving forward

[@alg375]

Good for you! Me too! And they work!!

[@redmanr5522]

every man needs a good woman, same with women, every woman needs a good man.

[@fionagrant2023]

@@redmanr5522 there are no good men and that is a direct quote from Jesus. Women and children suffer at the hands of men who abuse and harm us which they have always done since the beginning

[@nangolfer46]

Dr. Phil, I cannot thank you enough for these last couple series. I'm 69 years old and this has helped me to understand the narcissists in my family, my ex and my children. I now see them with a whole different perspective in a much healthier way. The knowledge you've given me will help to heal my family. Many many thanks Dr. Phil. ❤❤❤

[@lisaratley4858]

I’ve learned to trust my gut and understand that my body knows when someone is being shady, lying, or whatever…. When I feel unhappy with a relationship, I get out.

[@catbishop206]

I can not believe this is free. I will forever be grateful to you, Dr.Phil! I am going to have my children listen to this as they approach 18- this is literally life changing!!! I WISH i would've heard this from my parent's growing up. Thank you more than words!!

[@garypeterson6849]

I pray the happiest time in my life hasn't happened yet ❤

[@caroleminke6116]

It hasn’t ❤️

[@BlindReflex]

You can make it happen :-) best of luck distant possible friend 🤞

[@garypeterson6849]

@@BlindReflex Thank you 🥂 "To all of the happy times ahead of us all" 🕊 ☺

[@blackie6771]

😅😅😅😊😊​@@caroleminke6116

[@catherineesavas8466]

You are AWESOME Dr. Phil caring about and helping people ..

[@alg375]

Wonderful advice! I have not only checked my relationships but also myself. I’ve been on this journey for about 2 years. I have realized I’ve allowed people to manipulate me and I’ve learned to set up healthy boundaries, I’m grateful to programs like this so I can continue to get stronger and be healthier. I want joy and peace! I’m looking forward to all that God has for me! I’m learning not to settle. And I’m learning to stop enabling people. I’m an empath, I deeply care for others but I too have toxicities from my past, but I’m learning that I can heal from my past and create a much better life. God bless!

[@rozalina531]

🙏🏻🌟💕🕊

[@sysye]

I couldn't think about the happiest time of my life because the happiest time in my life is now, I'm independent, I love and accepted myself, I found my place in life I found where I belong and I found my people. I hope this time never ends ❤

[@tanyareneezaccardi7918]

You're so good Dr Phil!!! I'm so thankful you chose this path. We need you!!! Thanks for being a people of the people.

[@CocoNicole84]

If I had the chance to meet anyone in this lifetime to spend a day with it would be Dr. Phil. I need his personal guidance so deeply.

[@paulbrouyere1735]

Thank you so much for all these reminders. Although I’ve had a very hard time being married to my abusive ex, nowadays there is no day where I don’t have a good laugh. My dog helps me to have nice contacts with people of all kinds, rich, poor, homeless. I know I’m blessed I’m still alive.

[@clarinhamprado]

This is free amazing quality therapy ❤😊❤😊 God bless you Dr Phill.

[@merin797]

I studied NPD for several months in order to come to some sane semblance of a takeaway: It’s the presence of things that should not be there. And the absence of things that should be there.🙏

[@Allegedly..Angela]

Great podcast! Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us!!! I for one need the guidance!

[@debbiedoughty5079]

I love these podcasts. 😊

[@jessmason2112]

Wise dude ✌️😎. Dr.Phil is a pro from knowledge to presentation and content.

[@tower3899]

Was I the only one who couldn’t pick a time in life when I felt the happiest? Obviously I have had and am having many good happy moments. And yet at the same time, nothing beyond ages of 4-5 seems like the time I would love to recreate or look forward to. The reason is that as we grow older over the years, we lose the pure love for life because of the traumatic experiences that may tarnish even the happiest memories. However, I KNOW that my happiness times are in my FUTURE ❤

[@garypeterson6849]

Same here, may our lives be more memorable and happier than our past memories, with a greater frequency of wonderful moment's shared with those we love. AMEN 🕊 ♥ ☺

[@positvgal8]

You are an inspiration & a global treasure Dr Phil...no words can express enough gratitude for the wisdom & insight you share & the example you are as a well recovered person from the disease of alcoholism❤❤🎉 You're truly inspiring!!! Thank you👏👏👏

[@PamsMountainGarden]

I was laughing about the next segment. I have been married for 35 years and if there is one thing I know for sure, it is that I have zero idea what goes on in my husband’s noggin. Zero. Zip. Goose egg. I accepted that years ago and I spend no time worrying about it.

[@jessmason2112]

❤🍿. I love when Dr.Phil just lays it out. 💯🙏😇 you get what you give 💯 4:58

[@patricebennett1100]

Thank you. Sound advise. Written it all down. Looking forward to next weeks already. ❤

[@KayJ.-bu6sk]

I was about to revisit my books Relationship rescue etc. I’m so happy I can be a part of Dr Phil in the blanks. I took some baby steps with the books so many years ago. today I hope to take the Life Laws to the finish line. It’s not about them. ❤

[@josefinemilo]

Thank you so much!❤🙏

[@Tammy-ws6bk]

I really like the way you explained the reasons for defining all relationships Dr. Phil. I've given a little thought to it before but didn't expect more than 5 FB friends to even read what posted. Excellent points made here Dr. Phil. Thank you!

[@alg375]

Made Be committed Do what it takes Have what you want As my screen saver so it can be a regular reminder. ❤❤

[@judyosowa5516]

Thank you for all your videos, it’s definitely life saving to our lives , it’s extremely important

[@accountabilitypartnerscomm7635]

Relationships can be very rewarding but also some of the most difficult things to manage in life.

[@BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat]

Thank you so much Dr. Phil ❤

[@irenewoolsey926]

I hope I was listening with close intentions about what my next steps are going to be..I'm in repair .You might not know anything about me ..I found the most powerful word you used in some of what was said is " reward " ..and the only rewards I know of are ones we place in the open ..and verbalize ..like drawing a line in the sand ..to moving forward in our lives ..so it's been helpful listening to you today .

[@Leslie-x6y]

Good podcast no matter our life experience yes our relationships our very important. Sometimes we’re in circumstances we didn’t choose mental disorder with a loved one so choosing the right people in your life is crucial

[@titaniumaura]

_Peace be with you._

[@fatuusdottore]

Thank you, Phil.

[@christinemoscovitz693]

Thank you for your great knowledge & help Dr. Phil...

[@rachelakins2465]

Thank you Dr Phil you are the best ❤

[@glenysshelton8898]

Dr Phil a lot of people tolerate abuse because they don’t want to be alone….it’s very hard to find a guy who has good values and that your attracted to…I stand on my principles and find that if a person doesn’t like you there never going to respect you no matter what people that like you will respect your boundaries that’s what I’ve learned

[@channingtaylor9323]

I tried to like this video twice lol 🤣🤣, never done that before which means this is soooo good! I absolutely love Dr. Phil and his beautiful wife! Thank you both for all you are as a true genuine loving courageous bold and to do what is loving and looking outside the box. Dr.Phil has the utmost wisdom and his wife is so wonderful and everything I want to learn to be and grow in my marriage similar to theirs.

[@Mytown2024]

Thank you Dr Phil for these episodes, I loved them! 😊

[@TaniaHeperi]

Thankyou Dr Phil 🥰

[@sheiladay-od2me]

I love this! I will be back next week.

[@dionnelong]

We can't teach people how to treat us, if we have not learned how to teach people how to treat us; especially if we were just raised to trust God, and his word, and not understand all the details of healing (therapy). The old testament was awful by the way, for women. The bible says we should treat others how we ourselves want to be treated. Some people are generationally reaping what they've sowed. When you're stuck, and don't feel you have a way out, is the only reason why someone stays. The person who is being abused, has not learned that a separation is required to heal the abuser. Most people of the last generation, and some in this one, were not aware that getting into a relationship with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable, is a possibility, when you're ready to be in a relationship; and they have to be taught how to get out also before it begins. We know that sex is not supposed to come before marriage, but there is not hardly anyone who sticks around after they find out. And for the one who waits, and then end up with an abusive narcissist for waiting, those relationships would be the hardest to get out, unless the narcissist is really the one who wants to go. Then the separation causes a trauma bond, for someone who has not learned, this means run. And they will need at least a decade of healing for that. Teenagers and young adults are getting stuck, because christian young adults believe in marriage. Marriage is honorable. If it's not working, people need to know it's not a sin to get safe. They need to know how to do that. Not by making someone think they can't live without you, because they may just decide that. For a toxic person, you can't tell them at all. For people who are older and more mature, and is not their first relationship, the can communicate that we will be so happy to meet someone who agrees with them better. People should not have to die, for wanting to do the right thing. The thing is most of us know better than that. Two toxic people in a relationship, no more works, than one toxic person in a relationship. Especially when the toxic person is the head of the relationship, the glue that was keeping it together.

[@TessaJonker-fj2rn]

I did hit the stop button to think about the happiest time….. my husband was masking for first 15 yrs of marriage. Then we moved away from family n friends. Masks came off…. He behaved like Passive aggr, narc, autism, path demand disorder, chronic depression, oops. My son a chip of the old block. Not taking his bull so estranged. Put up with it for 35 years all up. Lived my own happy life while pulling the cart with him n my son sitting on top. They’ve made it through…. Now i can stop. Stopped 1 year ago. Couldn’t take it anymore. Now i feel relieved n really happy again. Only not seeing my 2 yo granddaughter. But i ll survive. 👍🏽. Yep. Happy with myself!! Good to realise that again!

[@kristieingland5315]

No idea when I was happy. So much childhood trauma, thay is ongoing and I'm 49. Working through it but I wish I could remember something

[@nipperhartzell3616]

Dr Phil don't forget the podcast. KZbin .

[@tmwheeler1555]

Wow. I do accept their behavior.

[@laleezy77]

This is a great tlk & so insightful! Thank you Dr Phil! ❤

[@your_mommy_issues_are_show4060]

How do you leave the abuser when you have no family, friends or support?

[@janegreen191]

You open the door and start walking. This is called faith.

[@rwheel1962]

Dr Phil please please share the part of the Bible that says it’s ok to divorce after making a vow before God that my marriage is till death do us part.

[@lizstrangesavage7948]

Maybe God understands that death can be the death of the healthiness of the relationship.

[@ruthhorowitz7625]

Nope, I never get back what I put in. The more I invest the worse things are. When I got my autism diagnosis two years ago I knew it was time to give up on relationships.

[@sonyasnyder6050]

Sad to hear. Maybe you need to get rid of some current relationships, but should you really give up on them on general? I think not! Don't give up on yourself! You're worth continuing the search to have the right relationships in your life. It will happen, Don't give up!!!

[@Kimian111]

I can't say this enough! The hi how are you analogy is not feasible. Saying Hi, how are you in passing is not meant to be taken literally. It is NOTHING more than a passing greeting gesture to ensure the kindness of my intentions; as opposed to, what are you lookin' at?

[@kellybeard2695]

Let’s do this! 🎉

[@kellybeard2695]

Less multitasking this week has been super interesting! Looking forward to 183 🎉

[@Uififfuuf8fid6djcuf8]

Some stay because thy love the other person 🤔

[@kayakins3051]

Mine happiest days are behind me . But with God !!

[@redmanr5522]

i'm just gonna put it all out on the line.... men, unless you're gay, you need a woman in your life, period. I don't care how together you have it with other areas of your life, but without love and intimacy, what's life worth? where is it written that we have to either settle for being alone or be with someone of the same sex? there's a reason why the vast majority of our prison population are men/males. I advocate for every man and woman to come together and be together in a relationship, you only have one life. we can't take our stuff with us, so come on.

[@tmwheeler1555]

Read the rest of the Bible. That hit me.

[@middleofnowhere1313]

OK can we please not blame the victims. Things are much more complicated, people are baited and switched, controlled through money and through their children and court orders etc. "You let them" is not an answer.

[@kathyjennings3907]

It’s not blaming-it empowering to realize your own power to break out.

[@darinsmith2458]

I like the 100/100.. 2 halves don't make a whole..

[@Maria-o8r4d]

true criticism before when help people know me but now dont know my number

[@nc2764]

The only happy times were most certainly my pregnancies and subsequent births if my two baby boys ❤️❤️

[@velvetwynter2829]

well there was never a happiest time in my life, it has never been good or happy, not whining just a fact, so nothing to go back to

[@janm9610]

I divorced my psrtner after the first time his massk fell. He displayed other episodes and i didn't know what i eas dealing with. Yhe unfortunate truth is im left to heal and deal with his destruction he created in hid wake; mental, financial , physical and spiritual. So it's not that im letting him trrat me this way. He was covert, we married, sold respective properties, bought real estate. Disaster ......

[@taratara841]

❤

[@TessaJonker-fj2rn]

Right or happy? You mean be your honest self or become a robotic hypocrite….. happy then?? Reallt???

[@Maria-o8r4d]

no friends last year this person cut my phones

[@nipperhartzell3616]

Page.

[@Maria-o8r4d]

after portugal vodafone bla bla

[@Maria-o8r4d]

i dont know this person invisivel before call me breath no talk now no call

[@michellefoy5198]

Don't call me an animal.

[@Maria-o8r4d]

im marry nice person but my friend leave alone because disgusting radio put rubbish my photos facebook this person crazy and now appear psicologo disgusting shame im 64 year old no friend because liers around

[@Maria-o8r4d]

tesla car next door vodafone send message share router next door to the prison telstra 2015 direct