Phil In The Blanks | Ep 180 | Rid Yourself Of Toxic People - Full Episode

Dr. Phil McGraw discusses the importance of recognizing and removing toxic people from your life. Your uniqueness in relationships and situations is brilliant. Do not define yourself by toxic individuals. Dr. Phil shares a personal story about how he ended up on Oprah's television show and highlights the importance of making a difference in people's lives.
Learn about intentions and what sets you apart from others and makes you essential. Have a defined image, set boundaries, and plan to achieve success. Be willing to stretch yourself, and keep your options open. Dr. Phil encourages you to claim your right to rid yourself of toxic people and reassures you that you deserve to be surrounded by supportive individuals.

[@annewrites...8385]

"You are entitled to be surrounded by people who support your dreams." Thank you.

[@AP86777]

So true. I was thinking of that half the day. ❤

[@Katrn30]

I finally left my narc husband of 20 years, after he intentionally swerved the car to hit and kill a cat. He then refused to stop and see if the animal was still alive…just kept driving. After crying for hours I realized I had to go…and I did. Best thing I ever did.

[@cc1k435]

Mine tried to "accidentally" let my cats outside, where they don't ever go, and I didn't know where one was for 36 hours. He also took a swipe at me, which was new, and I just had to call it a day. ❤

[@Katrn30]

@@cc1k435 when I look back I’m amazed at the crap I took…

[@jvb654]

FYI- narcissists hate cats. Can’t control them. LIKE DR. PHIL SAYS, NOT EVERY PERSON YOU LOSE IS A LOSS. My story: My narc husband had an argument with my son that he couldn’t win, and he walked out on our marriage of 20 years, specifically over that argument! The bigger they are, even if in their own minds, the harder they fall.

[@deena7155]

I had a similar experience. My ex husband vacuumed up the family pet with a shop vaccum. It was a gerbil. He FORCED my young daughters to help trap it as they screamed and cried "no daddy". I was like, ya I'm done. This is over.

[@ritapearl-im3wv]

I believe that injury to pets is a big neon sign...run for your life. It's best not to announce it. Just go. Protect yourself and children! God bless you!

[@annastone5624]

I think this idea of removing those people who do not wish you well, is absolutely vital! It’s the foundation..

[@fredkaufmann8034]

Right on

[@jessmason2112]

❤🎯💯

[@SantanaCampbell]

You'll only end up in HELL for removing these people from your life. "If you take away the persecutors of the church, you take away the martyrs as well." ~St. Ambrose of Milan

[@annastone5624]

Sorry you think hell is the natural result of protecting oneself from abusive people.. There’s no glory in tolerating people with bad behaviour. In tolerating evil, we become part of it. Persecutors should not be within the church, or within our close relationships.

[@mariapannullo6138]

Boundaries are key! My mother agrivates the living crap out of me … I put distance and she finds ways to chip away and get her nasty judgmental remarks in .. I was raised to respect plus I do love her But her game’s ruined lives it’s a struggle for me to remain decent So slowly I’m taking control with distance and good excuses to keep her at a distance Thank you Dr Phil!

[@dot555.]

I totally can relate!

[@wallymarcel1]

Thank you for this series. I’m getting reparented after only 71 years.

[@taratara841]

💚

[@heavyjoechipman3594]

I admire you and your longevity, brother Wally. ❤😊👍

[@missnyssah8048]

63 here!!

[@natlyfranks6856]

Me too at 58!! Only we can do it 😊

[@lifeafternarcissism]

Proud of you

[@GinaG7777]

Have self-respect and set boundaries. Stand firm no matter how they react

[@bongjamesbong00420]

People who talk excessively, talk over you, and frequently interrupt you to interject with their opinion, and people who make excuses

[@MarionJ67]

My therapist told me you will never win with a narcissist

[@westroamer]

Dr Phil, you’re an absolute legend! I’ve loved this series and have found it super valuable. Really appreciate your direct and honest approach in getting your message across. Keep up the great work!!

[@karenharris5288]

My parents were naracitic. My father passed away already, but my mother is still alive. She was physically and emotionally abusive. She used to beat me 25 to 35 times (slaps) , if she found dust in room. She also told a five year old (me) that she would knock every tooth out of my mouth if I missed the bus. I became a talented speech pathologic. I haven't had any contact with her.. thanks

[@sandragrewe]

​@@karenharris5288😢wow. I'm sorry you had such brutal childhood. God bless you. In Jesus name, Amen.

[@cindyjohnson4378]

You’re so right. When God closes a door he opens a window!

[@iloveart1]

Thank you!!! My son was diagnosed with BPD 8 years ago. It’s been a roller coaster ride. He suffers daily. I’m so sorry for him. I have great concern. However, after walking on eggshells and continual verbal abuse when he blows frightens me. For my own safety and state of mind I won’t be around him but for a quick note or quick supper very infrequently. Dr. Phil, this is a very clear video that has helped me more than anything I’ve read or watched. I’m so much more clear now and my love and empathy haven’t changed. I deal with it logically (hard to do) but adhere to boundaries for my protection. Again, thank you.

[@audreyflannery5270]

Dear Dr Phil, I appreciate your videos and I shared them with my son. I wrote to you one time when you are on t v about him but it was not anything he wanted to do. It's been years, he has narcolepsy and manages it well.. I wanted to let you know. He is a very successful and talented Engineer. We are blessed and highly favored by Almighty God. We are moving forward together. He can work from home a lot so that's a blessing. I am disabled. He is able to help me. He loves me dearly and we are so close. He is truly a blessing. He never had a father figure other than my father, but he lost him at age ten. He has grown into a wonderful man. He is a simple man. Honest and trustworthy and very dependable. . I just wanted to give you that update. God bless you and your family. Merry Christmas to you all.

[@romepix]

LOVE THIS SERIES and all the series and clips on this channel. They’re incredibly concise and helpful in the here and now everyday life.

[@anastassiyanora6407]

💯!!! So grateful 🥲

[@annastone5624]

A big part of ‘be a star in our lives’ - is to take our pain seriously and attend to our trauma. Because trauma is what makes it so difficult for us to set boundaries, and trauma is also what makes getting a foothold in a successful career so difficult. Trying to set boundaries though, in toxic systems.. you’ll just go round and round in circles. The system itself is antagonistic. But you leave one toxic system and enter another, when you’re traumatised. What do you do, when every-time you create a project people get jealous of it and bully you? This happens me over and over, destroyed by one talentless entitled person after another. They always have a talent for gathering groups of supporters around them, because they are self-promoting and it’s so common to find oneself ostracised by them and scapegoated.

[@annastone5624]

Thank you Tara 🙏🏻.. for now I’m being as invisible as I can be... I need to live to fight another day.. No point in exposing myself to attacks. But you could call that ‘far out’ .. Far out in the darkness of the universe getting ready to shine. . 😊

[@leanne123]

Don't stay in toxic environments. If you find yourself in one leave. There ARE healthy places to work and healthy people to be around. Don't stay if they don't deserve you. 😥💖🤷

[@annastone5624]

@leanne123 I’ve been leaving toxic environments all my life. To date I’ve never had an experience of being able to share my talent - without some aggressive bully storming in to try take me down.

[@annastone5624]

@leanne123 maybe some day. I think when you are vulnerable, you emit a kind of signal that alerts all bullies in a 20 mile radius! 🤒🙈 But I live in hope!!! 🫣🥰

[@sarahmercury2541]

I’m deeply loosing to the lies and my pain and anger from the abuse. I appreciate the hope. Thank you. 💖

[@karenabrams8986]

Me too. But I’m working my way out of that. Accepting what I can’t change and making plans and strategies to choose happiness.

[@dlspiritdancer9548]

It's all in your mind. YOU must choose to rise above it, however you choose. But you MUST choose, otherwise it (your grief) will eat you up. Learn how to grieve that helps you! Hope this helps. 🙏 P.S. my reasoning for saying "grief will eat you up" (only if you allow it to) was meant only for ppl who hold resentment in their hearts. Its easy to do, esp if one doesnt have good coping skills. Ig whomever gives advice these days must be ABSOLUTELY technical in their response or they get "eaten" up by the bullies! Well this is to the bullies...Kiss my a$$ 🤔(☝sit on it & spin🤣🤣🤣) & i most certainly do know what im talking about. Yes this person does have the right to feel anger & whatever else they're FEELING. I did NOT say they didnt. They only thing else i might add here to this bragging know it all is "I'm so very glad you're perfect"! 💩head! Wanna go some rounds...come meet me!

[@theforensicbadass]

You have every right to feel the feelings that you're feeling right now. As long as you're not causing harm to others, and especially not causing harm to yourself. A trauma-informed coach, counselor or therapist is of great help. As for the person who said grief will eat you up is not true whatsoever, or factually based. The trauma-informed coach counselor or therapist will help you address the grief, because anger is part of it all. Don't suppress the anger because it will cause something called disenfranchised grief. We have been shamed to feel anger and grief, so feel what you need as long as you are not hurting others and especially not hurting yourself. I support you. I validate you. You are important. Your feelings matter.

[@theforensicbadass]

​@@dlspiritdancer9548that has got to be one of the most dogmatic statements I have ever read based on absolutely no factual evidence. It is what is called dunning-kruger. At this point, she can't help it because of the trauma that has happened to her brain. Her limbic system. Her hippocampus. The limbic system swells and shrinks, catching her and fight flight freeze or phone. It's not her choice right now for her to feel those feelings. It takes cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy to reprogram and recomposed those negative introjects. She's got to feel the feelings in order to face the feelings, instead of listening to people like yourself, and the mass psychosis of society telling her that shame on you. It's all in your mind. This is where education helps to nullify the false facts.

[@dlspiritdancer9548]

@@theforensicbadass well mr badasshole pls read my P.S. response! You truly missed the entire meaning of my response, not as big an intellectual as you think you are!

[@audreyflannery5270]

Dr. Phil, i just wanted to say that I am very proud of you for the man you grew up to be. I tell my son I am proud of him often. I just wanted you to know I am proud of you. I consider myself a good single parent and raised a successful ,talented son. He is a blessing. I know you didn't hear it from your dad. I am sorry he couldn't say it. I am saying it. I am proud of you. God bless you Dr. Phil. Merry Christmas to you and you're family.

[@DollyDu_mybest_barbie]

Dr Phil. I have watched many videos on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissism but each of them confused me. But now I found your series and I am being very thankful to you for all these knowledge that you share which I am sure will tremendously help me in knowing people around me and hence revert back in a better way to their behaviour towards me. Even your voice tone is very soothing, calm and composed which shows that your inner being is pure. Thanks for these series ❤from India 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@marshahowell4489]

I have, over the last few years, had to put distance between myself and some people who had been in my life for a long time; some friends and some family. No, it wasn't easy. Yes, I still love them, but from a distance. Some of them were intentionally hurtful with words. Some were fighting battles I didn't understand and couldn't even begin to know how to help, others were fighting addictions to dangerous street drugs and they were extremely violent and untrustworthy. In any event, I've put the necessary distance between us (figuratively speaking) and I say a prayer for them and wish them only the best. Thank you Dr. Phil for this wonderful series as it is very soothing to know I've made smart choices. It's also very easy on my heart and soul to recognize that perhaps they are suffering with conditions they can't control. These conversations have been a God-send to me 🙏

[@user-uf6eh9fo8v]

Dr Phil,, I'm fixing to make an appointment with a therapist. I want to know if I am a narcissist, I've been accused of it by almost every single person that I know, and I want the therapist to come at me from every angle they can as hard as they can. I truly don't believe it myself, but if I am, I want to know. I'm tired of ppl trying to get me to believe this about myself if it's not true, and if it is I need to know, I want to know.

[@loridavis1694]

You have made very complicated issues with difficult personality traits easier to understand...His episodes help to get those of us being taken advantage of by toxic people ways to sort out our personal positive change, and guidance to help gets out from under the stress of trying to make things right with people that you can never help or change. This series have made everything you need to understand crystal clear!

[@SteeleMagnolia]

"Anybody that gets ahead, feels like they're faking it"....this really hit home for me. Thank you

[@suejohnson3972]

Dr. Phil I have loved you ever since I first saw you on Oprah!!♥️

[@theodorecoleman2063]

You should only have peace in your life. You deserve greatness and to be happy. This is what i believe in and i choose to deal with certain people...

[@karenabrams8986]

I am 47 and just recently started to let go of the anger at them and just accept they’re messed up. I want to choose happiness where I can find it. It’s taken a long time to work through my damage and forgive myself for what I had to do to survive. All of my forgiveness is for myself now. I get to move on. 👍🥰

[@leanne123]

Get in touch with the anger and pain and cry it out. It painful but it is clears away the old resentments. 😥

[@YusifRefae]

I know I'm finally on the right path in life because I'm listening to Dr Phil and he's making sense to me LOL

[@fionagrant2023]

Dr Phil you make sense. Thank you for these strategies and impacting those who need it the most. ❤❤❤

[@jessmason2112]

Their moral compass 🧭 is fxxxxx up. 7:06

[@michelleperkins9886]

Thank you for this conversation! My parents raised us to remember that everything we say or do or sign, is seen as who we are. Don’t worry about shaming us, your parents. Don’t shame yourself. Understanding that someone is always watching who we are, and what we do is eyeopening. We also knew that who we are is determined by what we are. And no matter what, timing is perfect, and none of us own the clock. I’m a true fan, sir, and have learned so much from you. One of these days I’ll write you a letter. ♥️

[@geraldinecasey5741]

Well done to your parents, what great advice for any child to have received👍

[@fiftiesandfabulous]

Oprah found a gold nugget

[@fionagrant2023]

I really find your videos empowering. I watch them over and over again. They are extremely helpful in putting up boundaries. Sharing on my Facebook page ❤❤❤

[@jessmason2112]

This is the 2nd time I've watched. 2:04

[@catbishop206]

I LOVE how personal this conversation feels, Dr. Phil. You really nailed it. P.s I am inspired by how complimentary you are of others that genuinely helped you on your journey. It's refreshing. I feel like it's so rare these days to hear someone actually credit someone that helped them succeed.

[@begonia3546]

Thank you so much Dr.Phil!

[@darinsmith2458]

There is something that I have not been telling the people around me.. I am keeping it close the vest and I want to thank you for that..

[@youareIndenial981]

Thank you Dr. Phil.

[@southernpearl]

2 years ago I found out that I had Quincke, an allergy reaction that can kill you. In my case, it's caused by kiwi fruits. My husband, as far as I can remember looking back these past 13 years, never put a kiwi in the fridge. But he did 2 years ago, just a few months after the diagnosis. I'm leaving him. For a million and one reasons. Next week, if all goes as planned. I'm trembling. And it's the hardest time biting my tongue. And I'm collecting every drop of strength I have left in me. I am so drained. But so motivated to give myself another chance. To love myself. And to enjoy this life once again. My biggest thanks to you, Dr. Phil. And other people like Prof. Sam Vaknin, Richard Grannon and Dr. Ramani. You and they are the real "saviors". Much love ❤

[@aliholzer714]

Dr. Phil, thank you . I think these podcasts are the best work you've done to date. Please keep it up.

[@jimoyler1780]

Dr. Phil, After a few years of trying to figure my other half out I've come to realize how short I've come to know myself. I do believe I have a few narcissistic traits myself. It's quite a relief to understand this. I'm glad you are sharing your wisdom.

[@DaisyAruba]

Thank you for mentoring us, also I used to write to your show asking to help fix my family as a child & teenager.

[@deena7155]

"The right to have boundaries". Thats interesting. You wouldnt know it but I like it. I finally began eatablishing boundaries with my father towards the end of his life. I didnt know he was going to be dead in the next few weeks. But it hurt him so bad apparently I wasnt invited to the funeral or the death bed and I was not in the will. I still have no regrets about it. I had already given him to many chances as he KEPT crossing my boundaries and over stepping in my life that it leaked in to my daughters lives as well. Protect your self and your family at all costs from your toxic parents is all I have to say about any of that. Thank you SO much for this. I needed it. I wish I had it years ago BEFORE I let all the narcs in my life have anything to do with it. I was born in a family full of them.

[@frannyfrandsen]

There really is help out there once one dares to hope and ask for it - a very helpful series.

[@Robyn-ul8bx]

Thanks Phil, it's nice to hear a straightforward person for once. So sick of these lies and games

[@PeggysCorner]

Thank you so much for the knowledge. 9 months free over here in your Big state of TEXAS.

[@PeggysCorner]

I started doing Narc Sunday videos on my KZbin channel. I promised God I would use my social media platform with 6k subscribers and 4 years on KZbin. To bust all the narc’s on the internet. 5 months strong of my narc Sunday videos. I definitely give you credit and tell them about your daily podcast. Helping you spread the word. Peggy’s corner from Texas

[@dreamtimelotus7894]

I like this so much more than your tv show . You're much more real than in the show. because the show has a formula you did have to follow. Nice to see the reel Phil McGraw 👍🏼😊

[@motherpedar3592]

You are right Dr.Phi,I was native I tell my family and friends what I want to do they take advantage,now I can't trust almost anyone.honestly I learned a lot from you even I am a counselor

[@channingtaylor9323]

Today I got the privilege of listening to dr.p wisdom on focusing my attention on myself rather than having the perspective of (why aren’t they changing , they r so awful) to a more successful forward thinking and doing perspective of (why am I allowing this to happen to me, why am I wasting my time and energy yelling when obviously nothing is being accomplished it’s always the same fights getting absolutely nowhere and to top it off my reactions are not acceptable embarrassing and it causes a lack of dignity within myself) we need more wisdom and truth like this in action. Dr.p I thank you for telling me about myself (on a positive note) bc it is a sure privilege to me to find such valuable knowledge and true understanding of what my real problem is. Finally Ty for ur straightforwardness and being a true friend to the society as a whole and may I acknowledge your beautiful wife for being as important as you bc you are both an inspiration and you two are the marriage I would like to learn and grow from to help save my marriage!

[@fiftiesandfabulous]

This is so poignant for me right at this moment In my life. Thank you

[@suzettewalsh2854]

Ty dr phill your the good friend we all need and the parent we never had who told us this growing up! Am 60 😊but this old dog is more than willing to learn new tricks

[@titaniumaura]

_Greetings and respect most illustrious Dr. Phill, I have always admired your qualities. Keep up the good work, I will pray for you fair brother in justice. Regards, Alex._

[@jessmason2112]

❤ Dr. Phil just laying it out. 👍 Life really begins at 40.

[@catbishop206]

I can't believe this is free... so amazing!

[@carolkoppi53]

Dr. Phil You are so intelligent and care to help. God bless you. Thank you. I have struggled through many things. Trying to grow in learning

[@Bianca-sw5id]

Doctor Phil , I think 🤔 Doctor Phil having experience in litigation is what has given Doctor Phil the foundation or mindset to organise the conversations on Television and on PhilInTheBlanks ❤ Litigation is extremely specialised I think 🤔 in the sense not everyone can do it extremely well , obviously Doctor Phil is in a unique group of professionals with unique experience 😁🙂♥️

[@BirgitteV]

i have an exelent skill of seeing thrugt all the lying, manipulation and bullshit. But this skill is not valued by most people, cuz it means i see straight through them.

[@user-il1cm6yi9d]

Dr Phil please don’t stop for this Channel this so amazing lord you help me so much . I been pry to God and you amazing. Please we need this advice we I listen to you every day while I’m doing eyelashes, and my client too need you Dr Phil thank you so much . I’m sorry my English no good

[@tanyad.2180]

Yes Dr. Phil, I believe your knowledge/wisdom are spot on and I am so grateful for this lecture series.

[@channingtaylor9323]

I used to watch dr. P but I stopped watching tv or any of sort bc I just didn’t know who I could trust to know they care for my best interest and now after years I have slowly started back carefully choosing on the data and may I state dr. Phil and wife are such amazing people!

[@joanneperry9047]

Thank you Dr. Phil and family… You are helping so many people and you don’t have to.

[@juliechurch1799]

Hello Phil . Really like your attitude to life . I'm watching ,so it rubs off on me 😀!thankyou

[@whisperingpines2241]

Thank you, Dr. Phil. "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." Proverbs 25:11. Your podcasts were just the right words-at the right time.

[@user-xv2me1vm4m]

Your podcast is helping me discover my life ambitions and to weed out the the energy robbers around me that leave me feeling dragged down.

[@marynywarriormomof1248]

My faith and my capacity to empathize sets me apart

[@flowerpower4944]

Wonderful this makes good sense t.y. DR Phil 💫🕊️🌺

[@sammyandboots]

I love toxic people in the family. WTH ? We are stuck with these people

[@annagolden]

Well said! Thank you Dr Phil.

[@kimodell1965]

Great words and helpful, thank you I needed this!

[@Mytown2024]

Thank you so much for these videos, they are incredible ❤

[@hd-be7di]

I really appreciate these Phil in the Blanks series. Thanks Dr. Phil!

[@natlyfranks6856]

Thank you Dr Phil!!this is SO NEEDED😊

[@user-ej5jc5dk1e]

I shared your lecture because think & feel it's a good lecture and that you are decent.You helped in this lecture Dr. Phil . Thank you very much .

[@AP86777]

Thanks so much. I really need this now.

[@GodsChildTM]

What a wonderful series and I love this episode! It made a huge difference for me today!❤

[@charmaineduffy]

Thanks for calling me toxic it really makes me feel worse

[@glendakowalczyk1280]

Thank You very much for everything

[@anayost2371]

Love your talks Dr. Phil !

[@thilagavathir557]

❤this talk, Thank you Dr.Phil for making this world a better place to live in 🙏😍

[@1_jahwarrior]

These conversations are essential Doc 🙏🏽

[@jamieyamada6658]

Thank you Dr. Phil. You are telling me the truth. I feel so much more empowered after each session. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart 💕

[@kendraheard1097]

Wow Dr. Phil your good....I wish I had someone like you to guide me in life I would be SOOOO far your presence, your intelligence your motivation your encouragement is SOOOOO powerful you make me feel like I can rule the world you make me go into deep thought about my life God bless you man❤🙏

[@spyridoulaliatou4334]

Thank you for the series it's helping me so much

[@anitaslater488]

Thank you Dr Phil. You are such a help. May God continue to bless you and your ministry of helping others.

[@heathermixson1265]

THANK YOU, LAFERN!!!!!

[@katrinaewarak]

I love your podcasts, so helpful!

[@2009jadeorchid]

i know of a toxic person involved in adult care well financial she tries to undermine their confidence this is a way they hold on to clients by trying to diminish their self confidence they also become so defensive when a client stands up to them and draws boundaries thanks so much dr phil great discussion about toxic people!

[@amandacompher1807]

Thank you, Dr. Phil. ❤️‍🩹🔥✌️😎

[@ironfacemusic]

Thank u Phil!

[@user-wi2nt1qk5g]

Thank you, God bless you!

[@user-yz7mw7gm7n]

You’re so correct i finally decided I’m done ! Love your advice

[@cathyandresiak]

Excellent advice Dr Phil! I'm sending this video to a few people!

[@DebraInezRock]

This is what I needed today

[@user-ko6ry2vd6c]

Thank you. So much.

[@noashihor9688]

Woow!! Thank you soooo much for this spech❤

[@lifeafternarcissism]

Been watching you Dr Phil for years

[@kat-75]

Its not a game and NEVER was. Their problems forever.

[@pattyplaylottery]

Ty Dr. Phil

[@lisaengland1048]

I want to listen to this 38 times or more . ❤ Thank you great video.

[@tednotenbomer1649]

Doctor phill you are telling truth to me ..wow i have sent this teachung to many friends in my life wide ooen eyes to yor wisdom God has given you Amen

[@Liane-qs6ml]

Well Dr. Phil I have gone through hell for the past 3 years and it happens to be the 1 who introduced you for your star on the walk of Fame. He took my job. It's been insane

[@johnpick8336]

Thank you for showing us what's what' and who's who.

[@thresacook2614]

Thank you for your words of wisdom. I’m lost, abused and lonely! 7:03

[@AngeliaSylva]

I am getting a divorce from a man that changed from a dream into completely selfish and self serving, moving forward

[@user-pd9kl5lm2w]

Thank you