Picking Up the Pieces of a Broken Relationship? (Watch This)

[@tayebehshalmani6157]

"I'm not gonna pick up little bread crumbs of love and affection and try to make a loaf of bread out of that...there's someone out there that would love to cook something nice for me" Damn this man is SO good with words! I don't think there would have been any better way to articulate this! 👌🏻

[@Yvonne-n1j]

😢❤

[@joywebster2678]

Sarah my in laws came to visit us to stay a few days. They saw i worked full time shift work, did all the lawn care, housework, cooking because no fast food in the remote location, maintained husbands uniforms washing and ironing, and my own uniforms, and my husband did NOTHING on his time off but watch movies, or hunt or fish. He was a big ass cop. His Dad was the same size, higher ranking cop. When his Dad saw me mowing AFTER my nursing shift while dinner was cooking, his fdad yelled at him, and cuffed his ear for being an Ahole. I quietly cheered. I no longer had to mow the lawn, and his mother when visiting quietly took on the cooking, which was fine with me. They were great inlaws.

[@FirstLast-zo4qy]

Couldn't love this more! Way to go in laws

[@sharonjoan9997]

Why do grown up men like think that’s ok? Nursing and mowing. We might as well be single

[@joywebster2678]

@sharonjoan9997 it took me a bit back then to realize he was truly a Narcisstic personality disorder. He and i had dated long enough, and I'd heard his bad teen days from his parents early on, and yet he was charming, pleasant. But after the actual wedding I saw the changes, lack of caring, regard for me, and I became that " slave". When he stopped speaking at all, I left.

[@NoEvidenceForGod]

Did you tell him you wanted him to contribute more around the house? Or wait for in laws to come to the rescue? Or even better, for him to read your mind? He sounds like he has the situational awareness of a blindfolded deer but that just emphasises the need for proper communication.

[@dilaranur-iu8vn]

@@joywebster2678omg im glad you left him

[@kellykirk4244]

“We’re gonna make humans together and I can’t see your text messages? What kind of weird things are going on?” Lol I loved that line. So true. People who think their life on their phone can be a private second life a part from their fiancé/wife are NOT husband material. At all! Run run run

[@BD-jy1pn]

100%

[@IamOkayla]

Yesss🎉

[@sarahvandenbos3784]

Amen sister

[@XandraHart]

Yes. Social Media/phones need to have this balance where I trust you enough not to go through the phone, but you have no desire to search the phone because I have nothing to hide.

[@louiseerbslisbjerg7854]

I dont agree. I have friends confiding things in me and those are thibgs I dobt share eith a partner. I would be pisded if friends did it. Then afain, I dobt want yo be with someone do distrustibg by nature that they dont trust me, since I'm a decent human being.

[@os5634]

Maybe that first caller should offer to take care of their child at least once at night when the baby wakes up so she can sleep through a few hours. She can freeze the milk so he can get up, feed and change the baby and let her sleep.

[@julieann2315]

That was my first thought, too. Even just the offer can make a huge difference

[@XandraHart]

Yeah or find some other way to support his wife. Our second only wanted the boob and would have nothing to do with a bottle.

[@ciobalina7445]

@@os5634 Yeah, I doubt he is interested in doing that. It's just a hunch.

[@lightinthedark1594]

You didn't invade his privacy, you invaded his secrecy

[@michelerooney5907]

Mic drop.

[@lightinthedark1594]

@michelerooney5907 I know I love it. My husbands Dr told me tht.

[@TheRjmsca]

Love this

[@Khemtime]

I’m going out on a limb here but I think crying to your mom and dad to team up on your wife about your lack of sexual intimacy is not a hallmark of a mature adult male.

[@mightymouse1005]

I would find it extremely disrespected.

[@corrieworou4813]

Lol....I'm close with my parents, but not that close.

[@mightymouse1005]

@@corrieworou4813 I could never be that close to mine, to discuss my sex life and gang up against a spouse.

[@lorrainebettencourt8009]

gross actually

[@KH-nt7ej]

This is the most dysfunctional thing I have heard of. How the hell she stays in that situation is mind boggling to me!!

[@leahboynton1280]

John is spot on on, abuser will change up their tactics to keep their control over you. If it's not overt abuse like yelling or screaming they will switch it up to indifference, silent treatment, nitpicking. Abusers are strategists who are constantly observing you to see what plan will work to keep control. Whenever you think you have stood up for yourself and gained some ground, watch your back. The stage is tilted. They want you think you have gained some control, so you put your guard down. Find safe support who you can talk to and won't judge you or force you to get out until your ready. You got this, giving you a hug from a victim to know a thriver.

[@skaziblu]

Or he's just emotionally immature. The outside symptoms are similar and sadly.. we aren't psychologists.

[@wendy1479]

Whoooooo- you're reading my mail, back in the day. This is exactly what it feels like

[@tamarahollenbeck2988]

WOW! What a selfcenter narcissists! He should have Never gotten married.

[@lala5061]

🤗 I can tell u were (so was I) cuz u are spot on, they switch strategies...and they will trick u (i guess that's the indifference u mean) making u think they finally are going to peacefully leave and u think ok this needs to happen and u start to have a lil peep of calm and peace in your energy and then Boom they switch it back up...😒

[@lorrieholsten2521]

@@leahboynton1280 100% agree. Warrior of being with a narcissist. 👍 worst season of my life! The webs they weave....

[@melissaweller8691]

Dr. John’s advice for the new dad 👌👌👌 ON POINT Immediately after giving birth it felt like someone took an icecream scoop out of my brain and backhanded me into 2016. And then you add on sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, a healing deflating body, and hormones doing whatever they want whenever they want. It’s so much. And it took almost 2 years for me to finally feel normal again. And I didn’t have postpartum depression. Men please understand being patient, forgiving, supportive, and loving through this is what we need! And you can be a great father even if you have no clue, jump in there!

[@edwo6648]

I don't doubt everything you said in the first paragraph, not even for a second. But what you and other women need to realize is that these actions still have consequences to them. Especially if they continue years out. I speak from personal experience. From my experience at having dated a lot of women over the years and being a widower who was married for 18 years there are a couple of things women universally in the US need to learn. 1. Learn to take accountability, to hold yourself accountable and be held accountable. And not by social media or their standards, but by your husband. 2. Learn to admit being wrong and apologize. 3. Learn to compliment your husband. I 100 percent guarantee the ratio is at least 10 to 1. He gets one compliment to every 10 he gives. You will be surprised how doing that will improve the whole dynamic. Warning, if you EVER weaponize it against him there will be no going back. No amount of counseling will ever bring him back and there is nothing you will ever be able to do to fix it.

[@starlingswallow]

Maggie, John is right! You were being gaslit the one thing he didn't mention is that you were also being future faked! Abusers will toss out future goals, and dreams in order to keep you on the hook! Then, when they treat you bad you want so badly for these future things they've mentioned to be true that you feel like you need to adjust who you are, and what you do in the things that you take in order to get those future things. But I am telling you a future fakir will never give you those things! I hope and pray that you run away from the sky block him on everything and get some trauma therapy :-) you deserve so much better!!!

[@benascg-ll7sq]

I knew I had made huge step forward the day the woman I love had left her phone at her place. For 3 days we had to share my phone. I've always been totally transparent and clean with her (different from previous relationship). This was the evidence I am fully committed and sooo happy bout it

[@lightnessprevails5070]

I remember once when I was 12 years old, i was at my grandparents house after school. One of my uncles showed up at the house right after work and wanted to eat cause he was hungry but didn't want to go home to eat cause he wasn't a fan of his wife's cooking. My grandma sent him away with no food to his wife and told him to man up, lol. I thought it was mean at the time, but now I get it.

[@wonder12374]

The last caller definitely has the personality of a childhood abuse victim. The fact that she is allowing a man and his parents to abuse her and she keeps trying to figure out what she can do to be better is pretty standard of a woman who has childhood abuse. Sad but true.

[@harmonhodgkinson6251]

I found Jimmy on Relationships a month or two ago after which John's feed came up. As soon as Eric started with comment I burst out laughing knowing he was going to say "I'm right". I've learned a lot about relationships from Jimmy. I also enjoy listening to John. The two podcasts are both great.

[@cmives2236]

I totally agree!!

[@bexx428]

Agreed! Love Jimmy, he taught me about my husband-- John, though, is teaching me about myself! So much unpacking!

[@kathylibby3676]

I have been happily married to my second husband for 38 years. I divorced the first husband because of abuse. A couple of times, when being abused, I kicked a wall, creating a hole. That kick was in lieu of becoming physically abusive myself toward him. So while violence is not condoned, sometimes a last ditch effort to defend oneself, such an event happens. I divorced him soon after, because I knew nothing would change. He was a tragic man, having been abused himself. God bless my current husband for all of his wonderful qualities. We have grown together, yet we remain true to ourselves with differing hobbies. Yet we share is a love of music and fine dining whenever possible. We have two wonderful grown daughters.

[@Iamchristaelaine]

How old were you when you got married to your now husband ❤

[@JenniferAguiartampa]

My husband is a surgeon and gets calls & pages at all hours. I’m a very light sleeper. We had to learn to navigate this so I could get sleep. Then we had twins and every second of sleep was so precious. Our number one fight was how loud he was when he left in the morning at zero dark thirty. He would walk out and practically slam the door startling all of us awake. I had to approach this as “I know you aren’t doing this on purpose but the hours of 5:30-7:30 am are 2 hours they sleep the best and I’m asking you to work with me on this.” I literally showed him him how to shut doors by turning the handle vs. not turning the handle. Then I would thank him for not being loud in the morning when he would come home and I wasn’t completely exhausted. If I was too exhausted to cook dinner, I would say something like, “the babies didn’t nap at the same time today so I didn’t get a power nap.” I would tell him that so he wouldn’t think he hadn’t been quiet in the morning. Occasionally he would forget and be loud in the morning. If he woke us up, before bed that night, “hey, I know you didn’t do this on purpose, but you shut the door really loud this morning and woke up the babies. The day was pretty rough for us.” He would usually say, “I know, I forgot and as soon as I shut the door, my heart sank for you.” It’s all about communication.

[@9384cows]

Your husband is an ASS! YOU should have gone away for a weekend and let him take care of those babies completely on his own! Sounds like a really Prima Donna, Spoiled, Selfish Surgeon to me!

[@shannonaustin4002]

“That’s not confirmation bias, that’s reality.” Amazing 😂

[@mrsdanmiller]

I find it so remarkable how people assume that neurological irritability is a choice. Here’s a perspective…. New Baby=1000 points on neurological stress meter Nighttime=550 points on NSM ANY sleep disruption = 2500 NSM points Verbal challenge to ANY expressed need=2500 NSM points Post Partum=6000NSM points Any other recent lifestyle change loss= 100-10,000 NSM points Do you understand what’s going inside the wife’s mental, physical, emotional, spiritual state???? There’s no noise that’s “quiet enough.” Faint noise is a bomb going off…that’s what happens with neurological stress. You’ll never get it until you take bucketloads of female hormones. It’s not a choice to be irritable….its going to be, man. Become empathetic, compassionate, supportive, etc. Forget being “right.” Be righteous.

[@JenniferAguiartampa]

Completely agree!

[@sumptersmartt3591]

Yelling at your spouse is abusive behavior. The man is literally walking on eggshells. Stop making excuses for abusive behavior and start holding both parties accountable for their behavior and actions.

[@AuntieHannabis]

Hormones are real. The struggle is real! Thank you for this 😂

[@melissaweller8691]

This is so validating!! I literally felt stupid after my son was born. And even growing up as a woman surrounded by babies, toddlers, and pregnant mothers - I had NO IDEA the insane and prolonged effects pregnancy and birth have on us. When my mom walked into the delivery room after I gave birth, I looked at her, and every single mother out there in a new light. Deep, deep respect. I didn’t understand it until I experienced it.

[@lisacraft9929]

Eric, just pitch in around the house. Wash the dishes, Do some laundry, stay out of her way. You are irritating her. Its just a season you're going through. Its not about you right now.

[@nancyrowe3964]

He is irritating me 😂

[@cwalker6911]

@@nancyrowe3964came to say the same 😅

[@theFIRMAMENTalist]

Why are some of them *just* . SO. *DENSE* 🙄🤦‍♀️😅 and how come some of us love them anyway? Frustrating!!! 😂😂😂

[@dianaverano7878]

You can't feel close to your husband if you were physically assaulted by his family! You have to feel safe first. That was a traumatic experience. I couldnt even imagine talking to people who harmed me in physical way. Establish boundaries while you are healing in this abusive relationship. It is not healthy on your mental health. Safety, calmness and peace is what any wife deserves in her home.

[@sophiaiswisdom1]

Delony said what about me and it reminded me of when my son was born and my husband kept saying how neglected he felt. He really was very out of tune with how I was feeling and what I was going through mentally was hard and we had alot of hard days and nights together especially because he was working overnights.

[@tacooflove6175]

That last call 😮😢 oh my gosh! I just wanted to hug her, I hope she find the peace and realized she is worth so much more then he is 😢

[@nervotica7991]

What??? How is she worth more than him? Goodness, did you even read what you wrote?

[@angelbaby91]

His advice toward the end of the hour was some of the most profound, powerful relationship advice I’ve ever heard.

[@stolen3moon]

the third story situation happened to me too. My husband also stood there and did nothing. But we are on the same page about our next steps. We went no contact with his parents agreed by both, meaning he doesn't blame it on me and makes me out to be the bad guy. we go to therapy and are very purposeful about making our marriage better. honestly, our marriage already got better without his parents. their not good people. he wasn't able to stand up to them because they belittled him all his life

[@nervotica7991]

Question: Did you not know this BEFORE you married him?

[@lh1514]

​@@nervotica7991It's probably her, not the parents.

[@tiah1927]

God bless you Dr. Delony. I can’t with this first caller. He is clueless. People aren’t Robots. His wife just had a baby… like what planet is he on 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

[@XSadaX]

He's a child in a grown man body. Immature to the fact that he never had any real responsibility. He can't even clearly point out their problems and situations. Wow

[@susanmiller2414]

John, you are so relatable and make callers feel heard, and comfortable, even in their conflicts.

[@Our22qJourney]

Or she may not even know. My husband asked me one morning why I was yelling at him in the middle of the night, and I honestly didn’t even realize. I was that sick or tired. I didn’t even remember yelling at him so I had to apologize for something I didn’t even know that I did.

[@craigmooney2630]

Oh my “ one of the favourites so far , been drinking this Tube like it’s fine wine 🍷 John treats all the callers with such 💙 and respect, they come with their tent ready to camp next to the creek and end up on a whirlwind world cruise Maybe you could add a perfect parent podcast next to ease all the childhood trauma

[@shadowykitty5588]

Okay so as the former wife of a video game addict I identified so damn much with the lady that had a trial separation with her so-called spouse. I literally spent the last 3 years of my life coming second place to that damn computer... when I gave him an ultimatum and told him it was his computer games or me he told me that he would pick his computer games every time because it's the only thing in his life that brings him true Joy. I was always called names whenever he was angry and he would lash out at me and whenever I would come back to him at a better time and tell him that what he said hurt me he would always tell me that I forced him to do it and I pushed him to that point and that it was my fault and I needed to behave better. I left his ass

[@corrieworou4813]

It's a sign of an abuser when they blame their bad behavior on you.

[@willbird1]

I heard someone once say that a successful marriage is about give and receive. It has to always add up to 100%. If it’s a 75/25 balance in all the makings of a relationship/household for a short time, so be it… it might be 25/75 when a job is lost, etc… but if it is imbalanced one way or the other for too long, it will not work. Pay attention to where that balance sits

[@XXroskoXX]

I had a narcissistic boyfriend just like that lady. He was always on his phone and chasing other women. I was constantly told I had self-esteem issues because I didn't like it. The only self-esteem issue I had was not getting away from him fast enough and tolerating his nonsense way to long

[@skaziblu]

Last caller. Developing emotional control when you've lost it is a huge challenge. Hand holding, cuddles are all physical affection. Doesn't have to be sex.

[@jocbaker]

This is such a great approach to dealing with unreasonable teenagers. It took me a long time to realize I didn't always have to be right.

[@Crybaby-cz8et]

48:04 sums it up for me. This lady needs to be honest with her feelings. Her body is repelling him because of the emotional abuse she has endured from him and his parents

[@ModdyPuppets]

First guy is like “how do I make my wife feel heard?” And he can’t even come up with an example when Dr.D asks for one. Maybe try listening, buddy 😅

[@cwalker6911]

This!!

[@brandyk]

I saw your point but I di think many people are nervous not just the people who feel the need to say this in the beginning of the call just n then John does his line of " I'm more nervous" etc. Damn people no kidding,you should be nervous n everyone including John should understand this without it being said. The men of course are more reluctant to state this. I also think he is a product of the society he's been in as an under 40 white male especially which is that he's toxic n so wants to be extra careful about everything he says n does. All good things have a downside of course. There are certain traits that were more common in our fathers n grandfather's that were better left in the dark ages but that also comes at a cost as like with most things the pendulum swings too far. I was sorry they got too focused on that middle of the night sleeping example as I don't think that the wife being a new mother n tired is the only thing n honesty alot of other people could have used advice on this issue. Yes certainly both people have needs,wants n desires n should be heard but not everyone has equally good solutions to situations. Yes he may just think he's often right but some people actually are so what is the best way to handle this. Ultimately who should make the final call? Should it always be a compromise? Should one person have final say on certain things and the other person on other things?

[@lisacraft9929]

2 nd caller. Im so glad im older and lived most of my life before this stinking SOCIAL MEDIA!

[@kat-ko8qe]

You dont "get where shes coming from". Your only viewing things from YOUR perspective. Nothing will change, until that changes. Best book ever is "this is how your marriage ends" by Matthew Fray. He totally unlocked this for me. Understanding my partner better. All the "little things" are everything

[@rebekahwilson7703]

The issue with the first guy and his wife feeling stupid…That’s because he makes her look and feel stupid. No one (that includes YOU) is right ALL THE TIME. So how about you let go of your ego, be honest, and admit (out loud to her) that she’s right when she is. Add to that, she most likely has pregnancy brain, which is a real thing:Doesn’t make her stupid, it just changes her brain for awhile.

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Amen

[@katek4275]

It doesn't matter what decibel his noises are, they still woke her up. He's trying to argue feelings with facts. Try listening to her feelings. They are her reality, they are her body's facts

[@vanhoudtshoorn]

Thank you for your great conversations. Helps alot. Would love to see Brene Brown and you in a conversation😊

[@kandace45]

❤❤❤

[@ambersullivan9024]

"I'm creating boundries FOR ME in this relationship..." One person doesn't get to control the whole scenario.

[@carolinaramirez6726]

As a new mom, I needed this! ❤

[@benascg-ll7sq]

2nd call : what she means as vulnerability will be instrumentlised as weakness. No vulnerability with such coward. Strengthening up her backbone is the only way out/up

[@lorrieholsten2521]

Thank you to you and your team for all that you do for all of us! Told chad yesterday ya know..... this is what im going to say to myself everytime someone whether it be family or friends... nobody gets to define or choose my happy! Ive lived a life previously as a people pleaser. And it just doesn't work. It had stolen my joy. I had a hard time saying no. I also think a career change is coming. Im a manager of a hotel. And this is week 4 with no days off. Its stealing my peace. I need peace and sleep for that matter! 😂 thanks for letting us tag along!

[@ShanLynn7]

OMG! Hiding in the closet! 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️ yep me right here! Those kids don’t own me! 🤣😂

[@megalopolis2015]

I hope that grandparents live nearby so that Eric and his wife can have a few hours a month to just be with each other, resolve issues, and just enjoy a sunset together now and then. I don't know if the last caller's relationship can be saved or not. They have to learn a whole other, healthy way of communicating, maintaining respect and healthy boundaries, and keeping those atrocious in-laws at a safe distance indefinitely. He has to be interested in taking these steps, and I'm not confident that he is right now. As for the brokenhearted girl with the trial separation, not only did she seem to dodge a bullet, but an entire nuclear arsenal. Hopefully her heart will heal and she'll realize how worthy of Love she is.

[@cosmicbodyguards4285]

I thought having my husband’s mom living 2 freeway exits down the way would be amazing & she would be able to have a great relationship with her first & only grandchild but surprisingly he only sees her about once a month and she only visits for about an hour. She’s a good mom but just not that interested in taking the baby & spending time with him or also giving my partner and I some time to ourselves. I know we aren’t entitled to that but i just thought that’s how it would be.

[@megalopolis2015]

@@cosmicbodyguards4285 That would have been nice. My mom did help with my oldest to an extent when I lived with her. She was great during that time. The mom might regret not spending the time later on.

[@sharonjoan9997]

Delony advocating for a new mama would’ve been my saving grace- but my ex husband prob would have dismissed this gem of advice 😮

[@Iamchristaelaine]

I watch this show so to confirm my decision on leaving!

[@BárbaraElgueta-x8z]

😂😂😂 this was very fun. My partner is a little like Pam, it gets exhausting and I have to kind of point out that it's been 30 minutes and I haven't said a word. He doesn't try to be rude is just his brain.

[@anne-christineacpetersson6870]

I got 2 "stompers" in family, too. 😊 Common law hsb and grown up daughter are both loud. They are not aware when in zone. She even taught her cat to be loud n stomp around.😂 Not even angry. Other cats have learned to retrackt paws n tails cause he never look where he walks. I on other hand is over silent. A common yelp from him is : Sh_t dont sneak, my hart bounce when you just materalice behind me. Like ghost. My son are like me. So 2 stompers and 2 ghosts happy together. 😂❤

[@colleengarcia7752]

He probably is too loud. Clearing his throat, coughing, closing doors hard… I live with that. Completely unaware of others around him.

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Yeah... All about them.

[@debbielockhart7762]

Lots of assumptions there. It sounds to me like he is being quiet.

[@colleengarcia7752]

@@debbielockhart7762 also an assumption. 👍

[@Xorgye]

Could be... Or not. I had a dad like this. Hated to see this cause issues between him and my mom. Thus did pay extreme attention to this stuff when i got into a relationship. But guess what: i seem to do it too. Lately i went deeper into this feeling with my spouse, and she admitted her sensitivity to me is as much based on her mental wellbeing as well as my clumsy feet hitting every possible edge there is on the way to the toilet and back. The thing is: i just can't help that my motion is impaired at night, because its even like that in daylight and she actually feels with me because its sad to see your husband hit table legs and chairs and be in pain. Working on the part of her emotional state is more helping at this moment, it seems to us.

[@DM-wc6jg]

Or maybe he’s just exhausted too 🤷🏻‍♂️ if he’s doing those things they are first assumptions on your part and second if she is having an issue with them they should have a conversation. Chances are people don’t even know they are doing these things but if he is being selfish perhaps this could start a good conversation. Or if he isn’t going to change or put her needs first it gives her good information moving forward. But I also don’t have the information l could be wrong.

[@ukrainianpower94]

Punching walls as an adult is wild

[@edwo6648]

Why?

[@jcstuart6978]

Spend 20 mins a day sitting together - eye contact - uninterrupted conversation. First baby + being less busy with the usual program always = plenty of strange friction. Pray together, surrender control to God and invite the Holy Spirit to be the way during every difficult season. So that during easier seasons you can give thanks generously. So that the next difficult season that’s coming - you know not to try to control it but surrender again to God’s grace, love and presence.

[@megalopolis2015]

❤❤❤ Putting God back into the center of a marriage makes all the difference in the world. My fiance' travelled four hours to see me to bare his heart to me, voiced deep concerns he has for my health (I'm taking care of my mom full time), and led us in prayer. I Loved him a whole lot before, but I think I Love him even more now.

[@jcstuart6978]

That’s awesome and that’s how Christ in us works. When we are anointed by being in active relationship with God our spouse and children can actually love us in a way that is close to agape and that is healing, redemptive and reinforcing and the way ❤.

[@corrieworou4813]

Right on the money

[@Janamt83]

Hi doctor I just started watching you and I really am enjoying it I watched the podcast you did three years ago or you were reading the material and it was horrible. I much prefer you're just saying what you know rather than reading it off of a piece of paper your information is very helpful

[@colleengarcia7752]

She needs to run. If she had a best friend or sister that was dating a guy like this would she tell them to do what she is doing? Cut him out of her life and block him. No contact and heal.

[@lightitup33333]

She can not heal while staying where she is being wounded.

[@Adira-Natali]

Thank you for a good episode

[@kellyturner4571]

These women need to run screaming away from these toxic partners!!

[@ashleenicole71]

The first guy doesn't sound toxic...

[@kellyturner4571]

@@ashleenicole71 I didn’t mean the first caller-I mean the guys discussed with regard to the women callers!

[@nervotica7991]

​@@kellyturner4571- so your solution is to run when the going gets tough? My oh my you have a LOT to learn.

[@kellyturner4571]

@@nervotica7991 Hi! Judging from your comment, you’re obviously projecting. So despite what you may have “learned”,people do NOT need to settle for toxic, unhealthy relationships. If you think what these women described were normal marital disagreements, I wish you healing in your own partnership/marriage.

[@nervotica7991]

@@kellyturner4571 - may I suggest you get back in the kitchen?

[@ReverenceGod]

The last one was legit, I pray he finds help and they reconcile.

[@TXNanna3]

Good grief, she is tired and stressed, hiw about I'm sorry and ket her sleep. Talk about all of this the next day. Not the time to prove you are right. Sadly this time doesn't last, and years from now it will be hard to remember it. Hang in there.

[@lorrainem8234]

Like you said, that time won't last, but if he doesn't make the communication changes necessary, the damage from that could last quite a while.

[@randomusername3873]

How about you don't yell at your husband

[@JacquelineEstrada-d3m]

I'd like to talk to you? How can I reach you??

[@cindport74]

I am going through exactly what Maggie is going through and it sucks. I'm 49 he is 64 and I thought I was the problem.

[@agadonk]

Sleeping in the guest room will incite her rage. Help her with the baby so she can get sleep

[@skatermom8259]

Not necessarily- but talk about it when she’s fully awake and in a decent mood. I suggested to my husband that he sleep in the other room just on the nights he had to work the next morning (while our 3rd baby was a newborn). And it saved us from countless frustration and fighting 😂 and he was rested, so when he came home he could relieve me and I could take a nap when I needed it.

[@vtw2510]

Is the first caller serious? He is so oblivious to what is going on. It sounds like his wife just wants some help with the baby, around the house. If she is yelling when she is exhausted. Extend yourself to help her or arrange for some help to come over.

[@rebekahwilson7703]

Physical affection is Not a Love Language. It’s Physical Touch. There cannot be any intimacy as long as she does not feel safe with her husband: he’s an abusive man-child.🤦‍♀️👎🏼

[@edwo6648]

I see someone likes to split hairs.

[@TaycieMayy]

Woof. This was a good one for me todayyyyy

[@Aris-Darling]

Good advice to the new dad… she’s a new mom. She went through and is going through A LOT. More than any man can imagine… it’s not about being right at that moment. It’s about realizing that her anger is a desperate cry for help to lessen her misery.

[@carterbaumer358]

There were some points in this that I will apply to my life

[@michellelarson7717]

He absolutely can control his anger. He isnt pumching walls at his workplace now is he?!? Sometimes the amount of work that it takes to heal A man like that, is just not worth the effort. Let HIM put in the work, become a new man. Then HE can try again another day with a new relationship. But you should RUN.

[@lala5061]

Facts 💯

[@iwilpraiseu]

I have to say that some women use being pregnant as an excuse to mistreat people. She could have lovingly opted to sleep in the spare room to get better sleep instead of acting "like a toddler" towards her husband. I have a son and not one time did I ever mistreat someone else because I was tired. And I remember being exhausted.

[@edwo6648]

Men in general, but younger men especially notice this crap. As a man who is 52 and a widower I got to see it first hand. Younger men are avoiding marriage because of this stuff. Heck, I've just re entered the dating market and I am having second thoughts about it. Dating today and women today are so much lower quality than they were 25 years ago. Texting and social media have rotted their brains.

[@nikkid4890]

The first guy seems to be using this chat to really make his wife look like the problem. He’s really the hero and why can’t his wife get that?

[@valaries.5944]

I used to be Sarah. I hope she finds her strength to leave.

[@sabrinaandbenji1390]

Hi , can there be time stamps to allow us to know thr start of each story please? Much obliged

[@amypfister3067]

My husband overheard the first caller and he busts out laughing and says “Dude you are never right”. 😂

[@edwo6648]

That's intentional and really unprofessional. He's great as a youtube star, but really sucks as a therapist.

[@petitmorte2186]

caller 1 2:03 coller 2 18:08 coller 3 33:15

[@rebekahwilson7703]

Sarah, here it is:Your husband does not care about you. He did NOT defend you (in the midst of his parents), but rather betrayed you (by calling his parents over). He is a child and an abuser. GET OUT!!

[@wonder12374]

Completely agree he sounds like a narcissist

[@w.i.t.c.h.1330]

Damn, Doc cleaned the whole damn kitchen with that dude going to his parents. I feel so validated. My ex is attached at the hip with his Mom. I thought i was crazy/mean. I feel like they were talking about the same guy

[@bobinh2otown]

Thank you

[@heidimartin859]

If you are not free to go through the phone of the person you are devoting your life to, and vice versa, your relationship is shallow.

[@Margarita_mom]

I’m dying that John keeps saying mommy and daddy lol 😂 It’s even funnier that her husband will hear it.

[@joywebster2678]

Why cant men sit to pee during the night so it doesnt sound like Niagara Falls? I live in an apt. And the man above me pees midway through the night, it echoes into my apt, plus he flushes, drops the toilet seat lid, then blows his nose loudly, washes his hands, and i swear jumps into bed, squeek squeek. EVERY NIGHT. He isnt mine to train! Uggghhh

[@vaska1999]

I'm told German men are taught to pee sitting down so their mothers and later wives don't have to deal with their inadvertent sprinkles and with toilet seats left up.

[@kierre8938]

"I don't want you to paint me like one of your French girls!" LOL! 😂😂

[@DJ-sv7xf]

OMG facts vs empathy. Your facts are not the only facts in the room if you're in a relationship. She has facts too that may outweigh yours. Put yourself in your mate's shoes. Try to understand her pressures. If you don't get it then send her on vacation from 5pm Friday evening (Friday #1) until Monday morning after your completing a full work week. Your goal will be having a clean house, a clean you, and a clean well fed and well rested child and a well stocked refrigerator plus formula and diapers to greet her (no outside help for you). Then help her with home and child chores without being asked for 5 more days and see how you feel at 5pm on Friday #2. Then maybe you will understand some of the strain she's under. If you can't empathize, you're just spouting random "facts", being defensive and avoiding the real issue - that she's running herself into the ground doing a relentless job for both of you for zero pay. You woke her up because you WERE too loud. Don't stomp, don't cough indoors, do close doors silently and use the toilet at the far end of the house. Make it fun by pretending you're sneaking out of your parent's house at night as a kid - that level of stealth. There's facts and there's the big picture.

[@sophiaiswisdom1]

I feel bad for Maggie because she sounds like she is going through a season. Her bf is too much of a child to be in a relationship and it sounds like he doesn't know how to identify a healthy one anyway.

[@garrotjax1232]

Did the husband ever call in? Who actually goes running to mom 😂

[@ashleyparker1481]

The mother in-law and father in-law were off their rocker. The husband sat in a chair because he thought she deserved it. He wanted to see someone do what he wanted to do.

[@anagabriella576]

I love the word of the day: COWARD

[@blinkie1114]

Gosh the second woman is married to a child. It also sounds like his parents were super immature but it’s no excuse for him to not put grow up. She needs to give him an Ultimatum, and if he truly wants his wife and children all together with him then he needs to fight like hell to be a better man. Good lord. You’re not out his mom. I’m so disgusted on her behalf.

[@makeitmakesense7216]

To the last lady, from a woman who stayed 28 years….RUN AND RUN FAST. It will suck the life from you please leave

[@khenzanimyers]

I think a lot of the advice from the last call is subjective to the person you are and that you are dealing with and may need some case by case adjustment to be safely done in an environment without a mediator like a therapist or Councillor

[@analozada9475]

Sue needs to accept that he’s not for her, and he’s done with her. She’s holding up on a fake nonexistent relationship.

[@victorialarowe4980]

I am incredibly worried about Sarah’s safety. This is a family affair and she’s not in it. I cannot believe what I just heard

[@brandyk]

Yes n there's no mention of her having family nearby or at least friends. Not all people are like this of course but there are a great many who will exploit n try to take advantage or even lash out more quickly against someone they sense is unsupported. Obviously healthy people would never do this n clearly if they were like this to their own son when he was young n couldn't fight back they would do it to someone not if their own blood. But if she has close family nearby or friends who were a continual presence they may have restrained themselves a bit.

[@sopranosd]

He’s talking down about her so he sure as hell talks down TO her. What an ass.

[@heidimartin859]

Cause you woke her up

[@blueseptember2174]

Where is dab? He is usually first 😅

[@sarahalderman3126]

🤣😂 I was unconsciously looking for his “female’s” comments too!🤣😂

[@blueseptember2174]

​@@sarahalderman3126is it wierd that it's oddly comforting at this point 😅. At least he's super consistent.

[@salonsavy6476]

😅😂😁

[@sarahalderman3126]

@@blueseptember2174 so true!😆

[@megalopolis2015]

Shhhh. Don't wake him.

[@rebekahwilson7703]

To the first guy:YOU'RE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT! Sometimes your wife is:recognize it and get over yourself!

[@davidnash8208]

He didn't claim to be always right.

[@kate3519]

When I was married and miserable I once yelled at the man I was married to, “stop breathing so hard!” lol.

[@edwo6648]

I think we all get that you were the problem in the relationship.

[@kate3519]

@ both of us led to the ending of the marriage. One person is never the sole cause (unless there is abuse) for a relationship to end. Peace and blessings to you.

[@nathansimpson5721]

Maggie, I have been in a committed relationship with my girlfriend for 6 years, and I am still anxious to get engaged. 6 months into a new relationship is wayyyyyyyyy too soon to be getting engaged. I don't think you can learn everything about someone until at least 2 years together. Best of luck, but these are the consequences of going all in way too soon.

[@sometimesising1016]

Marry her or break up and stop wasting her time. Let her find someone who wants to really be with her.

[@nathansimpson5721]

I'm not wasting her time. She's an autonomous human and if she thought that I was wasting her time, she's allowed to leave. The fact is, we started dating when she was 15 and I was 16, and she went away to college. We have continued dating and I will propose to her once she graduates from college in one year and moves back to our home town. My point is, anyone that wants to get married to somebody they've known for less than 2 years, I would highly advise against it. I'm 22 years old and my gf is 21 years old. @@sometimesising1016

[@edf18]

Got engaged 6 months in and married for many years. When a man takes responsibility and leads well things go well, pre martial counseling at a church is key too. Dating for six years and still being anxious is more problematic, you can never anticipate how people act after marriage no matter how much time you spend with them beforehand.

[@nathansimpson5721]

@@edf18 both my girlfriend and I are atheists so we definitely won’t do any church led pre-marital counseling. We will probably find a secular counselor though, because all relationships and marriages have room for improvement. I’m glad your marriage is going well for you. I’m working full time and my gf is at college full time out of state. Getting married while we’re long distance doesn’t seem like a good option. We have patience and can wait until we are able to live with each other

[@JenniferAguiartampa]

I used to eat dinner in my closet when my twins were terrible 3 year olds😂

[@moy3436]

Have you ever acted like a child, have you ever slam the door? Sounds like you paint to be yourself the perfect one.

[@lorrainem8234]

My husband is a lot like husband #3. If anyone seeing this could please say a quick prayer that he cool down his nuclear reactor, I would be grateful. It would help our sons especially. Thank you in advance ☺️

[@vaska1999]

I pray that God devise the best solution to your and your sons' situation.

[@axlent123]

So John, us guys, us screwed up guys can listen to wise council like what you give out, and still screw up! I still laugh about how I gave my wife a Dr Laura book for Valentine’s Day… the proper care and feeding of a husband book… only out of good motives. That was a big mistake! But yes, I listened to Dr Laura hoping to be a better husband! Now it’s you, years later! New wife.. still screwing up a lot, but hopefully getting better… keep up the good work you do!

[@mimihasenpfeffer]

Was that the only thing you got her? Lol

[@axlent123]

@@mimihasenpfeffer probably roses I’m sure..

[@yuvalgal-shahaf2782]

What if the wife is toxic and abusive?