Why Am I Not Married With Kids Yet?

[@sw6155]

This was my husband before we met!!! He didn’t call Dr J, but he worked on his health, lost weight in that process. He moved here from his state of origin and he communicated to his new friends he was looking for a good woman to marry. A common friend introduced us and he did later asked me out. I was celibate, I was actually thinking about becoming a nun… But we went out to the movies and now we’ve been married for over 10yrs with 2 beautiful children… 🥰🙏 We need to do our part and prepare ourselves to be receptive to God’s Blessings… 😘👍💕💕

[@alluringbliss4165]

Awesome

[@ForAncientKingAndElvishLord]

Girl, I'm 29, and I was thinking the exact same thing, becoming a nun because I just can't find someone I love.

[@Morelove4ever8]

I love that! That’s so beautiful! I’m so glad you two found each other!

[@23tracy91]

That's a great story. I was a novice at a monastery when I realized my calling was to marriage. Funny how things work.

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

What a waste to have become a nun !! If fraulein Maria had become a nun ... there would have been no SoundOfMusic !!

[@D_A_Marv]

“You cannot be at peace with other people until you’re at peace with you” that’s gospel right there!

[@nitrolazerx5591]

NO IT'S NOT The Gospel! You cannot and will not be Truly at peace with other people or yourself, until you FIND TRUE PEACE IN JESUS CHRIST ALONE and BE at PEACE COMPLETELY IN CHRIST JESUS ALONE! AMEN! AMEN! HALLELU'YAH! HALLELU'YAH! IN JESUS NAME! AMEN! AMEN! 😊😇✝️🙏👍❤️🤗🫡✝️🙏👍❤️

[@CalebAstle]

Bro I got married just after turning 29, met my wife at 28... have 4 boys now. You're good man, count your blessings and ready up because it's coming.

[@TruePathLiving]

Still before 30. I'm 29 yr old woman with no husband. So.... yeah.

[@TruePathLiving]

You're literally the demographic he is envious of buddy lol 29... get out of here he's 28. Lol 😂

[@CalebAstle]

I felt the same way that he did. There is always reason for hope that things can change and that the future is bright.

[@characteristicallyauthentic]

Just said the same thing! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

[@TonyCox1351]

Same, met my wife at 29, married at 31, first kid at 33…seems like the perfect timeline tbh. Although I’ll concede it doesn’t leave a lot of room for error.

[@bethanyboothe4817]

Married my husband at 29 and he was 38. First marriage for us both. He’s an amazing man, there was nothing defective about him or me, just a timing that needed to align.

[@keelhe893]

Love that you shared this 😂

[@jdkayak7868]

Thanks for sharing this

[@Kristen-ek9rz]

Beautiful, I too was 29 and my husband was 38 (he was married before though) and we will be celebrating 23 years this year......I always believe this is about Divine Timing too.

[@parker9012]

As a guy who just turned 30, that does give some hope for the future. Glad you were able to find each other!

[@hikersteph]

I am almost 31, never married, perpetually single, and I just started dating a 33 year old man who is absolutely incredible, also never married. We're both long distance hikers who have lived very full and fulfilling single lives (hiking across the country, family time, finding good community). He literally found me through my hiking blog and was stoked that I talk openly about my faith in Jesus. I'm realizing that sometimes timing is everything, especially when you are already working at creating a happy and fulfilled life as a single ❤️

[@MikeBoardley]

Being lonely sucks. So while I get your desire to be married and have a family, it's even worse to be paired with someone who's not right for you.

[@oncetwice5942]

This is so true

[@timrichards8533]

Be lonely is like a super power wydm. If you can be alone and enjoy it you’ll be happier. It might suck but you have to embrace the suck and make it fun. Be with your person can definitely be better but being alone is not a bad thing

[@Mariesrares]

yes !! This is true

[@88Reasha]

Ain’t that the truth 😅

[@alittlepieceofearth]

Amen.

[@azteca6695]

I had given up. When I met my husband at 41. I now realize we both had to go through. In order to be where we are at. Emotionally and financially.

[@sfappetrupavelandrei]

Wow! So, there is hope for me. I'm a 37-year-old man who is very shy and awkward. Maybe I can also find someone in like 5 - 10 years. 🙂

[@courtneyjackson7181]

I'm 46 now and still looking. Very happy for you guys. I think the same will happen to me

[@CyberSecurityFashionDesigner]

I’m 34 and still haven’t met my person! :/

[@healthymindhappierlife5089]

This is rare! Congrats! Love to see people happy! Don't forget to fight for the marriage when things inevitably get hard!

[@dinajones2761]

@@CyberSecurityFashionDesignerthat’s ok!

[@porcelaindolli3]

If the caller is reading this: You sound honestly like a catch. I wish you believed how loveable you must be. You seem like a really solid, good guy. Women pick up on that. Just because the right woman hasnt come yet, does not mean there is something wrong with you. Caller, you are important, unique and oh so wanted and needed in life!

[@susanhampton9671]

That was very sweet!

[@alissonvonderlane862]

Drake

[@kendracallaghan762]

So true

[@sarahbelo8891]

This man sounds adorable. If his expression of his personality on the show is accurate, he sounds like a sweet heart. He will have a nice little wifey and kids in no time. Love that he wants wholesome family things and love that he is working on himself in any way he can.

[@Emptytopfloor]

Yeah, as long as he’s not sleeping around and destroying his pair bonding potentials. 😂

[@ciao2315]

For sure!! And I know he feels behind but 28 is still young. It’s gonna happen for him for sure.

[@martinmi5]

He won't though because you bi*hes are so cruel and superficial. I know guys who have gone into deep depression because of this and some have even committed suicide. Others have become serial killers and target women specifically because of things like this.

[@ST-ff1zd]

One mature striving person is a whole person.

[@theclockworkcadaver7025]

@@Emptytopfloor That only happens to women, it's different for men

[@mz.anita9936]

This was me. It comes to the point you have to do what makes you happy. Join a club, travel, learn a new language, book that restaurant table for 1. That person you're comparing yourself to may not even be happy. Everyone has their own path, don't compare yourselves to others, and focus on self-improvement.

[@GalaxyFluke]

He has plenty of time. Try being 36 single female never married or kids. Everyone thinks there is something hidden wrong with me to get here but there isn’t it sucks

[@sunside7]

Join the club! It just seems to happen so easily for some people. I feel like I missed a memo or the class where they taught people on how to get married 😂

[@valerylopez3595]

Same!

[@freedomfan4272]

35 male here, never married, no kids and I was just actually in my first relationship ever this year lol

[@JKNat9004]

I know your pain. You try to be polite but want to tell these people to go take a flying leap because they don't understand beans.. (Or rice,...🙄. lol) 😅

[@dmbgator86]

The next guy that asks you out say yes to him! Give people a chance that maybe you wouldn’t have 10 years ago. I’m sure you know one guy that is into you but you’ve turned him down at least two or three times in the past.

[@elainebmack]

Unrelated comment here. Dr. Delony has wonderful eyes; dark and expressive.

[@jessearias12]

I’m 35 and I’m still single. All my siblings are married with kids and I’m the oldest one. It’s frustrating but I know the time will come where I wish I was single again. 😂

[@nkolemwaba2526]

Same 😂 and it's actually easier for me now than it was when I was panicking in my late 20s

[@Jose-ht2lw]

Same! I'm oldest im my mod 30s and my all my younger are married with kids. I do not envy them. I got money and time to myself.

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

Good Grief !! Enjoy the single life ... love may find you unawares when least expected.

[@martinmi5]

Nothing like having your first kid with a woman at age 71, lol.

[@CyberSecurityFashionDesigner]

I’m 34 and still not yet

[@23tracy91]

I decided I wanted a wife and children when I was 23, I'm 32 now and just had my first child with a woman I love more than anything. You have to be very intentional, it takes time.

[@KimJilene]

Drake literally sounds like my dream man - smart, active, fun, friendly, spiritual, goal oriented - he is a true gem. ❤

[@FoodieQueenBee]

Yep totally he seems to have a good heart

[@blah7694]

Hey there's a line here! 😂

[@Kristen-ek9rz]

he's humble too...

[@ioniatu4255]

I appreciate his courage to be vulnerable and confront his beliefs. I wish him a great love story and a beautiful family. 😊

[@SnowFoxParty]

I'm almost 32 and I thought I would be married with kids by now....but I'm not and it sucks sometimes. I almost married the wrong person and joined the wrong family but thankfully I did not. Just keep doing you

[@9liveslisa]

Dear Drake, IMHO most women want a stable, funny, loving, faithful, dependable, hard working guy as a boyfriend/husband and they are in short supply. You are just what most women want.

[@healthymindhappierlife5089]

If this were true there would not be endless number of men like Drake being ignored. Being a good man is not enough, and it only matters if you can attract women.

[@9liveslisa]

@@healthymindhappierlife5089 If you say so.

[@healthymindhappierlife5089]

@@9liveslisa I do say so. I've observed it my entire life. Men know this innately. You can claim the moral high ground when youre uninformed.

[@RabidDisposition]

Most men are like that, just not the ones you're attracted too 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@dondrejames1679]

​@@healthymindhappierlife5089 many more people have observed the opposite. Could it be that you are just seeing life through the fishbowl instead of how it actually is?

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

We don’t self improve because we’re not enough and need to prove our worth, we self improve because we are enough and know we are worth it.

[@MoccaMaffi]

❤

[@lazyakers]

Eleven years ago, I was in almost exactly the same situation as this man. I was the same age. I had a good job, was enrolled in grad school and was struggling in the dating arena. I think this guy needs to examine what he is doing wrong (or not doing) in terms of building relationships and make adjustments accordingly. That is what helped me immensely. I’ve been married for five years and have a young daughter.

[@lydiab6063]

Congratulations! What do you think helped you make that relationship?

[@healthymindhappierlife5089]

Congrats! I've had a similar experience. Hoping to have children in the next few years.

[@jadavip7290]

This video was meant to cross my path today. Thank you.

[@kate8873]

You sound like a great guy! I was 29 and he was 36 when we got married last year! Both of us felt that marriage would never happen at times. Take heart and keep working on yourself! ❤

[@melissabrock4114]

29 is old? Interesting

[@tanyamilewski5700]

28 single guy slightly overweight humbled by the realities of life and expectations (hopefully )who is a future master accountant sounds like a catch in the making to me. I think all what’s needed is a little more patience. Because all those buddies getting married may join you in a few years after divorce. So it’s better to do it right than to rush it. And the opportunity to do it right are many there is like 12 good years wiggle room

[@smustipher]

Most of my friends got married immediately after college. We were churchgoers, and they wanted to start families. I was the only one in the group (as far as I know) that was same sex attracted so I remained single (I did not and do not want to be in a same sex marriage) by the time I got to my 30's, I was very bitter and resntful about "having to be alone". I rebelled and started dating, but unfortunately had no experience and picked the wrong people. 8 years and several heartbreaks later, I decided to stop. A few years into being single again, I started to feel like a failure. I questioned why I couldn't find a relationship. Eventually, I came to the realization that I enjoy my life the way it is. I don't know that I actually want the responsibilities that come with being in a committed relationship. I work a lot, I travel often for said work, and I likely would not be around enough for most people's taste. Getting a job that was based in one location wwould boreme to tears. So, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and be grateful for what I have, and accept the life I have as a result of the choices I made. P.S. have seen a lot of engagement on this comment and want to clarify that I am not pro or anti gay, just explaining the role that my experience played in my coming to the conclusion that if someone like myself does not find a partner, it's not a failure, it may be as a result of weighing a number of factors, being real with yourself, and being content with the life that you have instead of second guessing yourself, which is a recipe for misery.

[@suhwateezea.214]

Come to the light. In the Bible homosexuality is a sin. You can turn it around and live a pure life with eternal salvation. Cheers.

[@franziskani]

When you were dating - did you date persons of the opposite sex that probable less attractive to you (at least in the long term the spark would be lost). Because that would be an injustice to these persons. Even if you declared your same sex attraction - they might not know what they are getting themselves into. I know of several men with teenage / adult children that are coming out age 40 and older. They married a woman for societal reasons / family & peer pressure. There must be lots of conservative / faithful homosexualas out there (estimated 10 % of the population). WHY NOT date them and try to find a partner for life among them.

[@lucyross5478]

I don't know whether to be sad that you didn't want to be alone but didn't want to be gay, or happy for you that you practiced radical acceptance.

[@franziskani]

I hope you do not get hung up on the alleged "sinfulness". There are homosexual animals and that kind of attraction manifested itself for humans even when it was a risk for life or got a person shunned if it came out. So we can ask ourselves why god would create animals and humans like that, only to declare it an abomination. The persons that felt the deep attraction to the same sex (often despite VERY high risk) were not persons that were evil, mean, eager to commit sins etc. etc. The New Testament does not say much about homosexuality. Only Paul repeated the (Roman) inspired prejudices. As for the Old Testament - methinks it reflects the Bronze Age attitudes (and some were outright cruel mass murderous). But never mind, Jesus as per the written down reports never said anything about the issue, and the "Old Convenant" (the Mosaic Codex) is not binding for Christians (this is why they are not required to circumcise, can eat pork etc.)

[@SaystheTruth3]

​@@suhwateezea.214oh stop ittttt........

[@alyross2850]

Ok, John. I’ve heard you tell countless people to write that letter to self. I’m finally going to actually do it in order to get myself unstuck from old thoughts to get out of this mental swamp I live in.

[@champabay4746]

It really works

[@JKNat9004]

I started thinking about that one too, this time around.

[@mjl1024]

I was like that too Drake. I’m 31 and single but I’m enjoying life right now. Don’t be too hard on yourself, be your own bestfriend.

[@Fe26man]

I’m in my 30’s and a widow. If I get married again- great. If I stay single- love it. Haha: I couldn’t be more content in myself than I am now. I finally realized my life is mine and mine only, and I don’t know why it took me so long to understand this. There are times where my coworkers will tell me things about their spouses and I get a bit jealous, but they equally (if not more!) often get jealous of my freedom! I love being this age, I love where I am (although I am thinking about moving to Texas to not pay state taxes- that’s looking good to me lately!). I wish for everyone to experience contentment! Comparison is the joy killer when unhealthy and I used to be GUILTY of this!!

[@devankurmitra4118]

You can cope all you want but the loudness of the silence will eventually be loud enough to make you go insane

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

@Fe26man Grace and Peace to you 🙏🏿❤️

[@bluebutterfly5062]

I really appreciate Drake's self reflection. He's honest with himself and actualy wants to better himself, so he's humbly asking for guidance. Top tier guy

[@taklfarms2575]

Beautiful.......talking to my wife tonight, kinda frustrated w my parents and who they are and how I was raised. Guess what. It's on me now, I can grieve it. And I should. But the changes start w me

[@bradvincet1848]

1:59. "Grief of a life not lived." That's a great title for a book.

[@jsy3359]

Just wait until you hit your 40s and all those friends of yours that got married in their 20s are divorced and miserable. It definitely happens. Sometimes it’s better to take your time, really know and love yourself before you commit to another person.

[@dellajohnston3601]

Absolutely. That happened to me

[@user-zy9yg2eu5t]

Such a pessimistic and cynical view of the world. Pathetic of you

[@amm2900]

Good observation, a handful of my childhood friends are divorced now so I'm wondering if my future mate will be a divorcee .... not sure I want to marry into that pool imo ... but God can work it out, cause that's who I trust my life with.

[@ilai7893]

Love the ending comments from Dr, building small wins in myself to build up self confidence and not expecting someone else to complete you when you may not feel confident in yourself. Gonna work on that personally

[@kayn2756]

Dude, most women don't care much about looks. Its mostly how you make them feel. If you are confident, not using drugs, no criminal record, ambitious and can keep a job. You can get any woman.

[@kikiisabeast2575]

If she's worth having this is really all it takes to win her 🎉

[@joeriveracomedy]

In the 209 it is the opposite. I have to date in other area codes.

[@purplelove3666]

Ah YES THEY DO, you are not the only people who have eyes

[@kayn2756]

@@joeriveracomedy what's 209?

[@purplelove3666]

​@@kikiisabeast2575no,it doesn't, you have been lied to

[@Westcoaststyling]

There's pros and cons with every stage of life. I was in the 'I'm not married yet and I'm [what I think is old]' phase, then I finally got married. I tried to take full advantage of where I was at so I would have very little regrets. Thankfully I made a lot of great decisions that allowed me to grow in many ways. The biggest thing I'm proud of during that time was giving myself permission to fully explore all of my interests & phases. I know what makes me happy and five years later, now that I'm married, I'm in the 'I don't have any kids yet and I'm [what I think is old]' phase. I'm taking the same approach and taking full advantage of this time before kids come into the picture.

[@marisadf13]

Wow, this call hit home. Even Drake’s backstory of growing up with bickering/tension between parents… also in Indiana! lol (If the location is true) I also understand his yearning for a life-partner (marriage) & future family. Faith, quality-friends/community, working with purpose & having productive hobbies have been positive influences throughout this season of singleness - especially gratitude. Esteem has been built upon these attributes & ‘small wins’ - John hit the nail on the head with this call! Wishing Drake & other single listeners all the best! You’re not alone ♥️

[@dr_pinna543]

Hang in there, Drake. I went through the same thing (Im 45 now). Went through a really toxic relationship where I progressed the relationship because it was the next logical step, but not ensuring that it was with the right person. We got engaged, but broke up a few months later. Rather than casual datingand random hookups, I spent the next 3 years working on myself. I needed to learned to love myself and set high expectations for my next long term partner. I met my wife June of 2020 and we got married 2/2/24. I've married a woman that amazes me every day. Shes 8 years younger than me and said she wished we met earlier. I wasnt the same person in 2017 that I was in 2020 so things happen when it's the right time.

[@anniroc1101]

He sounds really friendly, likeable and caring - just what women want. John is right to get him to work on liking himself, then just start talking to women - all women - see if you can build rapport without having intention of it going anywhere. That’s how the right one will fall from the sky.

[@L278-b7z]

If you'd understand why 50 shades of gray is so popular among women you wouldn't be saying things like this. Women like a man who can be dangerous but can control that. The nice guy always gets friendzoned.

[@FredMaples]

Try being 42 without kids like me. I don’t even get phone calls from family and old friends anymore. Children are a blessing but when you don’t have any life must go on. Everyday can still be a good day. Just work on yourself every day.

[@ingridbergman-vz7go]

Self love creates a confident attitude. It makes a person attractive inside and out. Pay attention to your health and your appearance. It takes work to get there. When you do, people will notice. Most importantly, you will notice. Allow God's love to show.

[@kcourtney6826]

I used to be like him, comparing myself to others at various stages of life. One of the things I had to put into practice when engaging with others was not make their successes about me. I had to be intentional on not internalizing everything. It takes a lot of practice but now I can be inspired by others achievements instead of making comparisons.

[@aleciad7218]

The grass may be greener on the other side, but that's where the snakes are. Just because some people appear to have it all doesn't mean they actually do. They may be struggling with depression, serious medical issues, financial strains, broken relationships and more. Comparison is an illusion that robs you of joy.

[@MyForeverPerson]

39 female and just recently met a great guy. He’s 35. We both want the same things. Kids still unsure but continuously talk about it to make sure we both are aligned.

[@abbyc.4215]

That is wonderful, and hopeful for me. 🤍

[@MGTOWmademeMillionaire777]

Poor guy, disgu sting... Let him alone and with younger girls He is such a simp, please let him know about mgtow

[@zipsidian]

Focus on you and have fun for another few years and it will happen…. I was 28 and in a similar boat and now 36 happily married with a child on the way and I have NO regrets or WHAT IFS

[@zipsidian]

Get good at stuff!

[@jerryshanecoldwell7279]

Awesome

[@SueHerr]

Dr. John, can you please come out with an episode where you talk more about what was discussed at 10:05? About children absorbing tension in the home and trying to solve it? Thank you! Also, kudos of hooking him up with Mind Pump workouts. I love those guys! 🤗

[@keeperofknowledge4120]

Doc it didn’t fall out of the sky. You’re tall, good looking, in shape, a celebrity. You can’t relate to the struggle of the average guy. He doesn’t like himself because he’s been rejected multiple times by women and eventually you’re forced to conclude something’s wrong with you. It’s really that simple.

[@maribelluevano7654]

I feel the same way, I grew up thinking I wasn’t good enough, I thought everyone else was better then me, my parents didn’t like each other they barely co existed, my mom herself grew up thinking she wasn’t good enough that’s all I heard. I put myself in the middle of their problems, it only got worse as I started growing up. All I’m trying to do now, is better myself and become financially stable

[@armandoweckmann5699]

I am 42 not married don't have any kids either. I've chosen this lifestyle 😊 I am happy too. I finally arrived in an awesome stage in my life. I reached my goal when I was 39 to be completely debt free including my home. I love my current job as a design engineer and bring in 6-figure income. I now like the idea of starting a family 😊. Everyone is unique and different 👍 👌 I am ready to start my next life goal. 😊 my advice is to delete all negativity in your life and follow your passion.

[@missyw2088]

Hello @armandoweckmann5699, that's great. You should like a good person.

[@RabidDisposition]

Your debt and wage is the first thing you say you have to be happy about. No wonder you're alone 😂

[@valentinakren8816]

You must make $7/hour

[@Mmmmkaaay]

There's nothing wrong with being single. What's wrong is all these men who get married and then end up cheating or having a p*rn addiction because they married a woman who doesn't want sex.​@@RabidDisposition

[@rebekahwilson7703]

My advice is:Learn to be content with where you are and. continue to better yourself inwardly. Marriage and parenthood are both great and difficult. It’s like we, as humans think that our life will be better when this or that happens. I’m here to say, Not true. Be present in what stage you’re in in life.

[@mrjonsey]

Be clean and have confidence!!! Be understanding and compassionate but have boundaries! Someone will give you attention. If you believe you have value, others will believe the same.

[@lizcaruso7406]

Dr John....Thank you for modeling COMPASSION and showing us your heart! I'm always inspired by your compassion. WOW!❤

[@tishataray]

Drake where u at? Your story is my story. Feeling cursed romantically no matter what I do, or how I try. I'm 29 n it really sucks

[@susanhampton9671]

No one is cursed. Unfortunately, you need to get back out there. Good luck. It is a numbers game.

[@tishataray]

@@susanhampton9671 if the good Lord says no or not yet, there is nothing you can do to make it happen.If you got blessed with a good person, really value that

[@susanhampton9671]

Yes, I always have believed it is on God's time table, not ours. Thank you. @@tishataray

[@elainenilsson5472]

Great point!! When you are looking to spend your time with another person, you put the time in instead of yourself sitting in a room and working out with other guys. Then when he catches the girl and he gets married, going back to not putting any effort in will lead to her not being attractive to him.

[@daphne3717]

I’m 33, still single and there’s no reasonable reason!!! It’s so frustrating beyond words that people say you must not want it or else you’d put yourself out there more! Or it’s because you don’t like yourself! You’re not confident enough! Then why do so many people who don’t like themselves & have low self esteem get in relationships everyday??? I’m beautiful, I’m smart, I’m outgoing, I’m funny, I’m kind. I have a good job, I’m self aware, I’m feminine, I have lots of friends. Why am I perpetually single???? There’s no reason or solution!!! It’s maddening. Ive been dying inside for 10 years, because no man will choose me.

[@meimeidelcastillo8819]

What a beautiful soul. I hope he finds what he’s looking for.

[@bcreilly180]

This my feeling at the moment. Single guy, 31 years old, divorced, renting a bedroom out, and my job is not ideal for romantic pursuits unless someone has a similar schedule. Been praying to God that post-divorce me is going somewhere, the right woman is out there, and that my goals and dreams are still gonna happen

[@joywebster2678]

Schedules aren't the be all end all. I as a RN married a provincial trooper. We in first year of marriage had opposite shift patterns. We were OK. Next posting where we got moved, I knew there was an issue because his bosses offered to match his pattern of shifts to more match mine, and he refused. So he stopped making our days off about us, and took off hunting or fishing. So that was his choice. We had it working well for 2 yrs with opposite conflicting shifts.

[@ilai7893]

The timing of this call is so personally relevant, thanks Dr John for the answer Edit: I don't really get the "you've created a life that you're happy with, be happy with it" comment; many ppl add things into their lives expressly with the intent for self improvement, and hoping to meet someone on the way. I'm not sure that's such a stretch

[@MKatelynn]

The caller sounds so sweet and kind.

[@jimv77]

My wife works at a hospital. Sounds like a handful of her female coworkers are single in the 30s and 40s....Doctors, Pharmacist, Nurse Practitioners, Nurses, etc....and all fairly attractive according to her.....half are single and have are divorcees. They do vent that not a lot of available men is the summary...and gave up on dating apps...gosh....is it really that hard nowadays......this coming from a happily married 46 year old guy......

[@alluringbliss4165]

There are more women than men, if I’m correct. Also, there aren’t that many great men out there. Been online trying to date, it’s not worth it.

[@abbyxiong3931]

I think people are afraid to go find a potential life partner. It can be scary when you have to be vulnerable enough to go meet the guy or gal on a date and not sure if they will like you. Other cases are being afraid of getting rejected so people would rather not take the chance. Then there's all sorts negative statistics surrounding dating, and relationships. If you can move pass those nay sayers, then there is better chance you can meet your person. Best of luck to all those looking to share their life with someone.

[@NannaP27]

It's very hard now since it seems like many people are either scared to open up with a partner, pretend that they dont like you when they actually do or can't help but to feel there's someone better (endless options). It's depressing.

[@lucyross5478]

@@user-qp2qe5gf9b I mean, a lot of younger women aren't looking for men over 60. Shoot, the elderly women I go to church with who are widowed or have been widowed for 10 years have opted not to date or remarry because they've already spent their adult lives caretaking - its hard work. And, obviously, there are much fewer men than women in the 60+ cohort.

[@pinacolada1393]

When more people are single does that drive up the rental economy/workforce?

[@fernandomartinezreyna1836]

Man, I needed this call myself. I saved it for later. Thank you

[@Joshmarmolejo_]

These are my favorite kind of calls .

[@AngelicRach78]

Im 45. Its taken me this long to like the person i am, learn a whole heap of lessons about myself. But i want that more then anything!

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

I'm proud of you 🙏🏿🥹❤️

[@em7937]

As a woman soon to be 41 that I gave up on guys ling time ago, and I can't listen to anyone of them for more then a few minutes, without detecting arrogance, mysoginy and absolute lack of awarness...this guy on the phone is actually a very self aware guy, honest and looking deeply within! The way he led the convo and him being open and honest and really listening made him an instant pleasure to listen to! I hope he found the confidence to go and ask women his age out and not give up if it is not working....! Just don'f get involved too fast and let that self awarness lead you to make the right choice!!!

[@vanessachiunda7262]

I relate to him. This has been me for a while. Especially on the self deprecating part. And the growing up as a child with someone who always spoke negatively of me, no matter how hard I worked. This video helped.

[@reneeantwi-boasiako3974]

🙏🏿❤️

[@itsshierlz]

I’m 41 and I’m only getting married for the first time next month. Some of my friends are already divorced. I’m glad I didn’t meet my person until I knew who I really was.

[@traditionalsoldier3639]

Good luck.

[@devankurmitra4118]

I'm lonely not because I can't be alone or hate myself , it's just I've been doing alot of things all by myself and the silence is loud now.

[@kayecastleman6353]

Everybody is NOT at that stage at 28. Continue to live your best life in the moment. Continue to engage in activities that make you feel successful and bring you joy. Practice balance on the ego/humility spectrum and maybe a little meditation or mindfulness to help you maintain a sense of inner peace, openness and approachability. John's suggestion of a letter to your inner child is also great advice. You are worth every opportunity life has to offer, and a gift to this world.

[@Esteban_fit23]

Dr. John, thank you so much for this invaluable advice that made me increase my insight on my situation. To the caller, brother god bless you and I see so much potential in you! Continue growing to becoming the man you want to become, it’s closer than you think!

[@kcstorytime4898]

love that "I am not gonna dress rehearse tragedy. " I can imagine Brenna Brown saying, and know she probably had a really good story about how she recognized herself about to go there. She has a great way of sharing truth.

[@latonyahylton8690]

Well John maybe you could be his friend and open up his circle of friends and he'll meet more people. 😊

[@luannkelly5071]

Finally, at 46, I was proposed to and got married. It lasted 8 years. I was too old to have kids. Now I'm just content being single. Looking back, there really wasn't anyone I dated or met that was marriage material. I wasn't in a good dating pool.

[@random-nz7dy]

Minus the overweight thing, this is me at 30. Wish I could figure out why I have the self dislike issues I do.

[@JudithRandall-vz1zk]

That's profound: "Grief for a life not yet lived". Heavy. It makes me see my own discomfort from a new and honest perspective.

[@keelhe893]

Drake sounds like a cool guy. I am thankful to hear a guy in this situation because they make it seem like just women have low self esteem or dating failures. Pray Drake finds love for himself and someone else

[@jenniferyoung8665]

“comparison is the thief of joy” - T. Roosevelt

[@champabay4746]

Met my wife at 28 and I’m so happy I did. we didn’t marry till 33 hang on brother it’s coming.

[@alissonvonderlane862]

Same! It's hard but, I go out of my way to meet new people through acquaintances and friends...

[@cmdny11]

What a great call. Thank you Dr. John.

[@jones2277]

accept the fact that you might be single for the rest of your life. what's your b plan if you don't marry or have kids? can you still find a way to enjoy yourself and have a purpose-driven life?

[@angiehernandez7671]

Thank you. John this young man has probably been told over and over that he is not enough. He might be the one telling himself that. He needs a new mindset. He needs to put himself out, then he will find a a great partner.

[@aribbonatatime]

I got married at 30 when I decided to. It's a decision and anyone can make that choice. There is someone out there that would love to marry you. When you decide to you can.

[@plousia]

Uh, no. Not unless you have no standards

[@richardgomez5008]

Wait for the right person in life, don't rush into anything. Enjoy your life.❤❤❤❤

[@RJRussoVids]

Wait till everybody is 40 years old and divorced, then see how you feel. 😂

[@MENACE-km6bd]

Wishing for the downfall of others because of dissatisfaction with yourself isn't only a sign of jealousy and insecurity, but self-hatred. So no. He shouldn't be hoping for anyone else divorce. Let others be happy with their situation, and learn to be happy in your own.

[@purplelove3666]

They are divorced because they didn't get to know each other properly or because they wanted a different path in life ,people are not JUST GETTING A DIVORCE

[@jsy3359]

⁠@@MENACE-km6bdI don’t think he’s “wishing for the downfall of others” but merely stating facts. I’m in my 40s now and so many people that got married in their 20s that I know are now divorced, single parents. I think it’s wise to say, don’t rush into marriage just because everyone else appears to have their life figured out in their 20s. Give it time and you’ll see many of those people probably never had what you thought you were jealous of in the first place.

[@RabidDisposition]

Then there will just be a larger pool of people jealous, wondering what's wrong with them, watching the soul mates who stay married and happy for life. 😂

[@whitshenanigans]

This call was so healin.

[@MJ_mema0h]

That got me emotional, knowing that am taking responsibility for things i shouldn't.

[@ryanaqua]

"my buddy layne norton" you beast!! great videos man ty! this one specifically reminded me of me

[@mattlantzy5093]

You will know when it's time to make that a priority in your life. Right now, you have other goals, and you're focusing on the other things you want. It will happen when it's meant to happen

[@DaileyThrifts]

You don't have to be married to be happy. There are a lot of people out there in unhappy marriage.

[@PeteLenz]

He’s a perfectionist who was never good enough growing up. He needs to accept and love himself the way he is NOW! Only then can he move forward.

[@timothythompson4036]

I understand where this guy is coming from. I got married at age 25 my wife was 26. I have one sister who was three years older than me. She was still single and very jealous. She went crazy. She 12:07 hated my wife. By the way, my wife is wonderful. My sister finally got married at age 36. The situation then calmed down. By the way, we have now been married 36 years. Trust me, these crazy emotions can drown you.

[@kobe0007]

Drake, I'm in the same boat. I'm 36 and no where close to being married. I am great at work and I am successful but for some reason I can't find a decent woman. I struggle to love myself because I can't find someone. I try to remind myself that my friends and coworkers enjoy me. I also am very respectful to others and find that strangers appreciate it. Stepping back, outside myself, I realize I am doing good. It is just my time and maybe won't be. But I won't devalue myself for someone who doesn't value me.

[@skyeappleby7987]

I wish Dr. John would talk more about body positivity instead of saying things like "just go count your calories." He's already working on his health, he needs more of a mind reset than just exercising.

[@ccannon1]

I think sometimes people, more so with men in MY experience, need something actionable to work towards rather than being told “you are fine the way you are.” Because if whatever it is that is making them unhappy doesn’t change, it will continue to make them unhappy. Working towards improving the thing is what brings about the happiness. But I could also be wrong about that 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@michaelstein7510]

@@ccannon1You’re 100% correct. Body positivity is only something that appeals to women, if I’m being brutally honest. Women want emotional support. Men aren’t wired like that at all. We want actionable plans to improve our life. I was fat for a good portion of my mid 20s while I finished school and got my life together. I knew I was fat and hated it. No amount of emotional support or body positivity would have made me content with how I looked. Instead, I began my weight loss journey when my best friend told me in a polite way that I had let myself go and looked awful. That made me really focus on improving my body again. I’ve lost 40 pounds since that day, and am in my best shape since high school. Men want brutal honesty like that, not emotional coddling that doesn’t fix the issue. This is one of many reasons why traditional therapy often doesn’t work for men. It’s torture for us.

[@RoseNZieg]

I have seen so many give in to the pressure of having a ball and chain but looking at it with rosy glasses. then they complained about how hard life was. if you get there, you get there. if you don't after making changes, that's just your luck.

[@Klalalsood]

Learn how to be alone and not lonely. There is a difference. The thing that you need to know is that has been on its way for a while. Im 27 and its tough to be patient, but I want good. God has better than what I want. You got this bro

[@lynaeeakettgreene7208]

I love that dr. John heard what drake said and saw the self worth issue and struggle, instead of a "dating" issue.

[@LOADING...o.o.o]

I think I diagnosed my condition by writing the journal like Dr suggested. Thank you so much. I found a solution at the end of one page journal.

[@DominickSpano]

God I am 38 and single. Imagine how I feel. Lol. Today I think it happens later in life. At this point I just let it happens when it happens. I don't get to caller. He said he is in graduate school, I bet he is a good looking dude, and he is funny. Come on. He seems to have the right stuff to do well.

[@DominickSpano]

I am I am actively looking and going to speed dating events and such. To be super specific b/c of course this is the internets and someone like you just had to be a jerk, I am taking concrete acting, but not exactly worrying on it. Satisfied? Lol.

[@PepeCoinMania]

@@DominickSpano if you are a single mother or obese forget it

[@alluringbliss4165]

@@PepeCoinManiathis is a man

[@purplelove3666]

​@@dabd8175 was that your mother's mindset?, since that's the closest female mindset you would be close to? You think women just sit there for things to happen to them? How many women were just sitting in their homes watching TV ,and a man just knocked on their door? use your logic bro, nothing happens to anyone that is just waiting for things to happen to,they have to get out there

[@abbyc.4215]

Any life updates? Hopefully you're doing well!

[@XxhimynameiscynxX]

Met my man at 28 and hoping to marry this year. I'm 30. You have plenty of time ❤

[@marniejane88]

Dr John is correct. He's going to have to change some aspects of his life to attract new opportunities

[@martinmi5]

I personally got tired of trying to be smart and sexy all my life and I just became a Millionaire instead. Super happy now, lol.

[@shirshahsahel917]

No need to be doing anything understand the difference between having, doing and being Once connected with being let go of all lies , the truth and light will reveal itself and you won’t need anything external to feel happy because happiness is internal and not dependent on anything outside of your self .

[@SuAlteza92]

Drake from Indianapolis.. hmmm I’m in Indy. Now I wanna search him lol

[@87alock]

10 Years later: Why Am I Not Divorced With Full Custody of My Kid Yet?

[@bp6877]

Hilarious!

[@PepeCoinMania]

maybe not

[@ashleysalazar2012]

​@@bp6877It's really not. You sound bitter.

[@bp6877]

Reality bites, woman! @@ashleysalazar2012

[@tonycrawford3818]

Facts!!