Pine Is The Wood of Poor People

[@guymayer9609]

max greenfield's portrayal of schmidt is the best acting I've ever seen

[@sultanjelle9168]

A bit of a stretch my friend

[@chapman1270]

He is definitely perfect as Schmidt but definitely not best acting ever lol (not to take away from his performance as Schmidt).

[@rumblefish9]

Best part of the show to be honest because Jess is a snooze

[@huckleberrylachow2202]

please watch more stuff

[@exiledhusso8178]

You have clearly not watched the performance of THE GOLDEN GOD!

[@MightyCoco94]

New loafers, slippiest loafers, damaged suede, outhouses, pawn shop, non tahitian vanilla.. fuck me everything that comes out of his mouth is pure gold

[@1rickopotamus]

i know no one compares😂

[@alexare7948]

New homeless

[@Rubiecat]

I never thought the writers were able to come up with good plots but by god they were skilled at writing dialogue ! he has some of the funniest lines of any show I've ever seen

[@fourthaeon9418]

driving moccassins

[@byohnk]

am I the only one who thinks Schmidt has all the right to be angry in both situations?

[@calnommer]

Nope. Im with you a 100%. This infuriated me beyond belief. I don't even like Schmidt that much but that was just NOT okay

[@m_uz1244]

Well not entirely. Consider the fact that the four of them (winston, schmidt, nick and jess) all share a loft equally, and all pay equal shares of rent. This means that Jess is at least somewhat entitled to a say in how the apartment looks. Schmidt being so authoritative over the furniture is a little bit of an overstepping of his own boundaries considering he only constitutes 25% of the loft.

[@shelbiherzog]

@@m_uz1244 she’s not entitled to move all of his things around and completely redecorate the apartment without anyones consent!!

[@ethelann]

@@m_uz1244 Schmidt is the only one who cleans the loft. I don't think they pay equally, if you watch the episode "Menzies" where Jess got fired, they didn't have the same contribution, Schmidt had to turn off the gas to push Jess to find a job to be able to pay. So no Jess didn't have a say in this, Schmidt is the mom and the rest is his children

[@SmilesNA]

To be fair.. Jess is the worst character in this show.

[@jasminebonner1987]

I can get a tetanus shot but I can't cure damaged suede!

[@CanaanBasedMovie]

Jasmine Bonner I read this comment as he said it and it was sooooo satisfying

[@squeet6831]

He is right though. Suede is a bitch to maintain especially after its damaged.

[@alethiastafford6061]

@@CanaanBasedMovie SAME😂😂😂

[@Em-kg7qn]

I have no idea how and why Schmidt lived in a house with 3 or 4 roomates. He is clearly a person who needs to have his own flat and control everything in it and he definitely had the money.... He was obviously the only adult in there in terms of keeping a functioning home

[@yevgeniyaleshchenko849]

Yep!

[@omaryspaola5034]

Yeah he was, I guess he hated being alone because I remember one episode he did actually move out but missed it and came back

[@Isaic02]

He's a sociable person that wants to be around his friends, and he is willing to do what's needed to make it bearable for himself. Until Jess, everyone respected his boundaries and was thankful for his work. Then you have Jess who used his coffee grinder for crayons..., though she must have cleaned it really well since he didn't notice.

[@ydm760]

Tell that to the tornado of life

[@7srchoed]

He's in love with Nick and Nick can't tak care of himself

[@yuhyuh7603]

"I'm like a marine." Instant hysteric laughter.

[@FemaleCollegeStudent]

What kind of monster would use someone's coffee grinder to make crayons????

[@iluvlax100]

Usman Pervez she’s the worst character tbh. Like when she was gonna let her best friend marry the wrong person. And pretended to know what’s best

[@pernicious92]

@@iluvlax100 Oh shit is she the Ted of this show?

[@StephanieTips]

She did it on purpose to piss him off

[@Isaic02]

@@StephanieTips She did it before this argument.

[@putraalfarisi4418]

@@dmvuzi AGREE

[@zakrs130]

I have to be honest, Schmidt's response is perfectly justifiable. Not only did Jess move her hutch into the apartment (I don't have the issue with that), but she puts all of HIS things into the hutch that he didn't want in the first place. That would make most people mad, no?

[@jisfl7976]

Schmidt could of very easily won this by leaving the loft for a few days taking his stuff and staying at a hotel and then jess realizes why the guys let Schmidt control so much of the loft it’s because he takes care of It and without him things fall apart so then jess accepts defeat and gets rid of the hutch

[@CarvaxIV]

I think that’s an actual episode. I have no ideas what caused Schmitt to move out (probably something Nick related), but the whole apartment just collapses without Schmidt taking care of it.

[@MayurUPatel]

Whoosh

[@JB-ro2nt]

that’s happened in an episode

[@kaolee4736]

this happened in two separate episodes. one episode (an earlier one i think) was when schmidt learned to let go because they convinced him to. the loft ended up being a complete mess with him not caring so they once again convinced him to turn back to being himself. on the other episode, schmidt moves out i believe for independence (not sure) but he ends up getting some sort of FOMO & becomes bored in his own loft (he moved just across their hallway)

[@angusmarch1066]

Schmidt has gone on strike before and the house has gone to shit.

[@mariahramos2321]

Who in the hell uses a coffee grinder to make crayons & doesn't tell the person who is making coffee with it?! I love Jess, but that line always bothered me.

[@fairdathm]

I always assumed she didn't really do it, she was just saying that to annoy him. I hope that's true, anyway.

[@jopabr24]

I took that as a pretty obvious joke. Like, I think she was just saying things to aggravate him because he was being so extra.

[@MC-yt1uv]

She was obviously joking, just to annoy him.

[@angusmarch1066]

@@fairdathm she didnt say she was joking and it seems like something she would do, so as far as the script is concerned she is telling the truth.

[@nichijou_cargo6476]

"I'm like a Marine.." lol that line cracks me up

[@2ELI0]

nichijou_ cargo the facial expression of him and the voice pitch make it hilarious xD

[@hulmad]

Lol my past three years of experience with Americans has shown me it doesn't take much to be a marine 😂 they can front as an elite fighting force if they want to but most people's interactions are with every greasy peckerwood cunt in America whose a current or former corpsman

[@smithubersachs]

hulmad corpsman are Navy, 0/10

[@alaasaadsmohammed5672]

a blind man who's suddenly recovered his sight

[@SpookeyClown]

New Homeless... I love this show.

[@כרמלנחושתן]

TUTALLY! one of my favorite lines from the show!

[@eastcoastgaminq4399]

Max did such an amazing job playing the Schmit character . Idk anyone who could of done it better. Hes a great guy in real life too.

[@NoName-cz3wn]

As a wood floor specialist, I can say that laminate is the "wood" of poor people. Pine is the cheapest wood, but it's so crappy that people would rather get a durable fake floor. The more you know

[@angusmarch1066]

As a kid who had to watch his grandma foolishly cover her terracotta parquet tiled flooring with crusty Ikea laminate, I wholeheartedly agree. Laminate is the flooring of cretins.

[@NoName-cz3wn]

@@angusmarch1066 lmao. I mean it holds up okay and not everyone can afford a really nice floor. But when a client says they're on a tight budget, I know exactly where it's going 😂😂

[@angusmarch1066]

@@NoName-cz3wn fair enough, I guess. 😞

[@ME-dk3ip]

I didn’t realize how much I was like Schmidt until I watched and was like “ a BURR coffee grinder? How dare she” before Schmidt even said it lol

[@m1af72]

The disgust noise at 2:33 kills me every time.

[@sammyace2096]

I had no idea how funny this show was. I’ve passed it on Netflix so many times. One night I decided to watch and Schmidt had me CTFU now I’ve rewatched the whole thing twice. Great underrated show ! Schmidt is hilarious

[@Moonstreamfeline]

I would really appreciate it if your non-Tahitian vanilla was not touching my Tahitian vanilla

[@danieljones7840]

Everyone here talking about Jess and Schmidt fighting and who was worse when I watched how Cece treated Schmidt like absolute garbage and I was too mad at that to continue. Girl KNOWS he can't control himself, she summons him to please her, then dumps him on the side of the road. All because she's got a HUGE superiority attitude against him. But nah, its played for laughs and the episode decides Schmidt's the one who's got mentionable issues. When Spencer did that stuff to Jess it was SHUT DOWN immediately in episode 2 like it should have been, but when its Schmidt who gets emotionally prodded and abused, its a joke.

[@jordankelly4684]

I've always hated cece.

[@ceciliacrasto4602]

THANK YOU !!

[@terrencedeath3311]

“can’t control himself” victim mentality bro. he absolutely can control himself. he’s a grown ass adult who is perfectly capable of making his own choices

[@danieljones7840]

@@terrencedeath3311 it's ok if you don't understand. If you think you'd be able to do something different then good for you. You are not Schmidt, nor the other people who have experience domestic/relationship abuse.

[@justyouwaitforphysed]

EXACTLY

[@HolandaChiquita]

Jess is horrible here. I agree Schmidt is a bit over reacting but i'd be angry too.

[@gokulvaradan8781]

Hundred percent I would have thrown all that shit she got out the fucking window

[@taylor6672]

It’s her apartment too and she pays rent just like he does. Why shouldn’t she be allowed to decorate it partially.

[@gokulvaradan8781]

Taylor You should talk to your roommates before adding in furniture, and definitely before vandalizing their property

[@taylor6672]

Gokul Varian If you watch the whole episode he told her she can't put anything in the living room. Like he gets to determine what goes in and what doesn't no one else gets to have input. And he didn't just say no he said no because pine was a poor people wood. He was just being pretentious.

[@gokulvaradan8781]

Taylor Lol am i a warcraft character now? Regardless of whether he liked it or not, it doesn't change the fact that she added in furniture and messed with his stuff without asking. I get it its a TV show, but in real life I would recommend talking with your roommates before adding in furniture or taking their stuff

[@val9860]

Its bad of jess to do this when she clearly knows Schmidt has issues and she does it all on purpose

[@libbyandtai]

Valentina Gonzalez it’s because she is a perfectionist and tries to fix everyone when all she really wants is people to be sensitive to her feelings I know because I’m a raging perfectionist too lol

[@Grenn1471]

This series is hard to binge because Jessica Day respects ZERO boundaries. I understand that's where much of the drama and humor come from, but it is infuriating to watch several episodes in a row that amount to "They tell Jess not to do something, she does it anyway, things go crazy, she scrambles to fix things, no lessons are learned."

[@val9860]

Grenn1471 exactly!! One episode nick told her not to get involved in the Michael Keaton thing but she did it anyways not caring that if Schmidt found out it could have ruined hi friendship with nick

[@jjcall1429]

@@val9860 facts. I’ve never really noticed but she never listens to anyone.

[@jopabr24]

It's also bad of Schmidt to think he can control the entire living space when he has to share it with three other people, all of whom are paying rent and are equally entitled to make the space their own.

[@Spearsy1995]

I’m sorry she uses a coffee grinder to make crayons and Schmidt has the problem ???

[@simonromlie9009]

Jess is always the asshole. Atleast in 95% of her arguments I find myself thinking she is in the wrong (with the roommates, not with people outside of the quartet)

[@MSSBy]

Its probably a joke

[@farahabdulahi474]

@@simonromlie9009 you mean she shouldn't steal Nick's money to pay his bills? Money left to him by his late father?

[@jopabr24]

I think it was supposed to be a joke. I don't know why so many people don't get that she's just picking on him.

[@thinkinginn7443]

Yeah, she went overboard with this a bit. Getting annoyed that your germaphobe elitist roommate won't let you bring in a street piece of furniture is one thing. But to retaliate by bringing in more street found goods and putting his stuff in it (knowing he's a germaphobe!) is rude and disrespectful. Moments like these with Jess early on made her 'pixie dream girl' character come off as crass and enforcing her ideas as better than everyone else is. She should've just compromised and told him the hutch will be in her room away from his stuff, or properly cleaned by a professional.

[@asifrahman7038]

Agree with this characterisation

[@gargrayson51824]

Jess has way more moments like these later on in the series. She definitely feels her way is superior and doesn't even try to hide it. She has flaws, but it would have been nice to see someone call her out on it from time to time.

[@tripdiz1341]

Some credit goes to Jess, for not flipping out on Schmidt for him knocking over and breaking said hutch... did give ya a like for the characterization.

[@kylovesart]

@@tripdiz1341 why? That was her end goal. Maybe not that exactly, but she purposely pushed him past his limit. She only didn't get upset because it made it seem like she came off on top and won.

[@cloudstrife746]

I get she wants the best in people but sometimes that comes of real condescending and forceful lol. Never liked that part of her character lmao. I get all the other stuff it’s just that one bit of characterisation that me not like her, but it is a good way to introduce flaws in her character I just wish the show didn’t treat like she was always morally right.

[@ryntiny]

Yea she was in the wrong here

[@DinaraTengri]

curyn b Yeah, a dumpster is not a good place for furniture shopping.

[@Grenn1471]

I love it, but 90% of this show is Jess not respecting ANY boundaries. Kind of makes it hard to binge watch.

[@zAlbee2]

What the fuck? Are we watching the same clip? Dude lied, then smashed a perfectly good hutch.

[@Glitterpop785]

@@zAlbee2 She did something against his Will, Fully knowing that he wouldnt be ok. She should not have used his coffee grinder or have put his stuff in the hutch

[@whong09]

She's disgusting tbh

[@cordeliacarstairs2796]

"this makes me emotionally nauseous" 😂😂😂😂

[@thinkinginn7443]

And to add, just because you pay rent in an apartment doesn't automatically mean you have the last word on what happens inside it EVER. Even when you live on your own, you still need approval of the landlord to get anything cleared like paint and wall accessory installation. In fact, later in the series (SPOILER) we find out that Jess is one resident too many for the landlords approval. So she's renting their illegally. And Schmidt handles the decorating and cleaning of the apartment due to his OCD. Meaning that the wealthiest tenant does the bulk of the upkeep and paid for 80% of the furnishings while Jess is illegally renting and attacking his discomfort as a form of 'character growth' and spite over street finds that she may have not properly checked. Schmidt's not perfect, but Jess's response pissed me off. If my roommate did that, they would not be my roommate anymore.

[@Ambereigh]

Schane Flowers your comment makes no sense as Schmidt was trying to have the last word all the time 😒

[@yevgeniyaleshchenko849]

@@Ambereigh He lived there longer, and he was responsible for things as decoration, cleaning, cooking, so it's fair that he has last word

[@Ambereigh]

Eugeniya Leshenko he wasn’t responsible for them he just didn’t want no one else to do it. He was very controlling.

[@Isaic02]

@@Ambereigh The roommates, before Jess, all agreed that Schmidt was in charge of those things. This is just the case of a new roommate not respecting the rules. Though I don't remember if they informed her of these rules before renting, and she also seems like the type that would have agreed when renting then later had a problem with them.

[@katara5083]

their relationship is so sibling-like

[@graceboss9132]

"I have my slippiest loafers on!" "Pine is the wood of poor people and outhouses." "Its making me emotionally nauseous."Best lines ever😂 Also I love how Jess is messing with Schmidt.

[@ahobbit1273]

Man, I love Schmidt. I'm going to miss this show.

[@LukesVintageRC]

He looks around “ what is this? We live in a pawn shop”

[@myfinancialclimb3121]

Cece: He's got this rage inside him and I just love it.

[@AbrahamSalazar210]

"I can get a tetanus shot but I can't cure damaged suede." lmao

[@Tactics00]

Schmidt’s not wrong about the burr conical coffee grinder. Makes for better espresso shots

[@199453063]

Thst French accent part is so underrated :D That was so gooooddd

[@morganolfursson2560]

Bloody hell if someone brought something from the dumpster and put it into my house .... This better be a Monet or a Gogh or a 17th century german cabinet.

[@connor4435]

“My hutch don’t move it” she says after moving a bunch of his things

[@LukesVintageRC]

He’s clearly new homeless 🤣

[@ceciliacrasto4602]

I've never related to schmidt more.. ngl I wanted to ring jess 😤

[@the_varunrvel]

3:44 that's how a 3 year old makes a face when he does something terrible lol

[@lucyg4532]

Compromise - Jess should buy Schmitt a new coffee maker since she made crayons with his and he should get her a hutch to replace the one he destroyed.

[@Sanee650]

When I watched this episode for the first time I had just gotten an electrical blade coffee grinder the day before and it was kind of a big deal to find the one I wanted, I was pretty proud of it so seeing schmidt rant hurt me and I seriously considered getting rid of it 😭

[@picframe000]

jess became more unbearable as the series progressed meanwhile the other characters were shinning

[@idar3703]

Jess is cute in season 1, but starts to lose her personality already at season 2. Then they gave her a different personality a few seasons later, which is a lot more annoying and without charm. I can imagine how hard it is making the characters' personalities be consistent over the series though.

[@dosg847]

@@idar3703 apperently in real life she is a bit like that ( very much more )

[@idar3703]

What do you mean?

[@dosg847]

​@@idar3703 the actress who play jess apperently in real life she is a bitch

[@yevgeniyaleshchenko849]

@@dosg847 Do you personally know her or you just made it up?)

[@emmacook3065]

When Jess said she used his coffee grinder to make crayons I wanted to SCREAM

[@gracehiggins7066]

Do you think he forgot his coffee grinder was in the hutch or was that on purpose?

[@coralielagae9088]

You gotta love Jess being against those snob

[@lindseyflax941]

i just wouldve loved a deleted scene of jess actually finding these pieces. that would've been so good!

[@johnfake7375]

He's right, you know

[@Rose-ws9fs]

“He’s clearly new homeless” lol

[@guillermocalderon7101]

2:19 the vanilla romance

[@marinemccord1059]

The level of humor while trolling Schmidt to the point that he throws the hutch…Jess could be a professional 😂🤣 …the vanilla joke…then the crayons in the coffee grinder! Give this woman a hand! 👍

[@tahminahabeeb175]

Schmidt amd Jess together would be an actual nightmare.

[@AmaraEmme]

What kills me is that the hutch perfectly matches their kitchen cabinets

[@music4ever159]

Guys i am pretty sure that her comments about the dumpster and the coffee grinder were sarcasm...has anyone actually thought about why or how a coffee grinder could get used to make crayons when they need to be melted?

[@marcellaflood]

Schmidt bloody love his humor 😂😂😂

[@ISPI4]

Gotta say. I’m with Schmidt on this one

[@Psykel]

I’ve literally had the exact same conversation about my conical burr coffee grinder.

[@tmhwriter]

Is it just me, or are these two enjoying yelling at each other? It seems like more than just acting.

[@FuckTheReason]

I once read that nobody of the male cast got along with Zooey Deschanel because she always acted like a real diva - so maybe the actors are really enjoying shouting at each other :D

[@UnknownCartoonEditor]

FuckTheReason Where did you read that...?

[@hannae2056]

Nah man they’re just good actors

[@yevgeniyaleshchenko849]

@@FuckTheReason Stop spreading gossip

[@FuckTheReason]

Somewhere online, no legit source! Was one of those "these actors couldn't stand each other" - articles! Could be total bs but also no reason to become so protectionist, @@yevgeniyaleshchenko849 ! They are just some actors not your friends you know ;)

[@jacobshear9354]

“Im gonna have to run all the way home and I have my slippiest loafers on”

[@JosephSchneider26]

Jess just used one of the oldest tricks of negitiation: If they don't give you what you want - demand everything and threaten to take it. There are no perfect persons in this clip: Cece is cruel and cowardish, Schmidt is oversensitive and petty - and Jess is, well, also petty. It's not an actual respectable need to only have previously unused furniture in your home. Unless the cupboard was actually infested by some kind of creatures - then I'd be 100% with Schmidt on this one.

[@angusmarch1066]

Schmidt is being janked around by Cece, meanwhile Jess is ruining the loft he puts time into, because she wants to play power games. He's being hit from both sides, but he's the petty one? Okay, bro.

[@TheSpaniard]

The thing about New Girl is that the writing is great, but the true magic comes from the delivery from the actors lol

[@KingBatiatus]

Schmidt has to be related to Jordan Schlansky.

[@SeraphsWitness]

He's right about burr grinders. And pinewood too. lol

[@StormBlessedxo]

"I'm like a Marine" - Proceeds to give CeCe suede loafers

[@_birdie]

YOUTHS.

[@professionalbeats.6382]

Street youths

[@_birdie]

@@professionalbeats.6382 stole my damn tires!

[@libbyandtai]

This is one of the funniest things ever

[@duygumdakiler]

Max Greenfield deserved all of the awards!

[@anthonycampos2634]

The way she just gaslit him 🤣🤣🤣

[@TheHosh01]

I'm like a marine.

[@clshady3051]

Pitch for Schmidt's character: Let's create the world's douchiest bachelor and somehow make him likable. I know they say it can't be done, but dammit, if Barney Stinson can not exist but thrive on TV than so can our guy!

[@Joseph-Dreams]

Schmidt is so me. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t look down on people. But yard sail stuff or below😧 hell no. That mess

[@angela123altintas8]

I have never liked pine.

[@Niall69Irish]

I have never liked chris pine too

[@TretheZeldaFan]

back2black 😟😱

[@kandygarcia747]

“i’m like a marine”

[@mercisaun]

Is this the same guy who sold subprime loans

[@adams1030]

For everyone actually taking this scene a bit too seriously.. Do you guys not understand the entertainment value of trolling a friend (but exaggerated in scale and ridiculousness here because it's a COMEDY TV SHOW)?

[@daniglover3871]

these are just kids ...they really don't understand , they're hating on jess when she is the foundation of the show , if it wasn't for her weirdness that show would nothing

[@GingerBun]

We're allowed to dislike someone lmao

[@Seeker0fTruth]

“I have my slippiest loafers on…”

[@PerkPresents]

Yeah everyone on here so salty about how a character in a show isn’t doing what a real person would do irl?🤣 Like damn its a comedy show lmao if jess would’ve done any compromising it would’ve been a boring plot. Just sit and have a laugh jesus christ😂 Schmidt reaction to jess doing this is just the best. Funny ash for me!

[@shawnrose7564]

That is so me, I like to use stuff that was probably out on the street. Like when I was little my mom buys stuff that were kinda old an new. So I learn how to use it as furniture. Now days we don't have much in our house because we tried moving. Soon I'm take some of those furniture when I move out get my own place

[@petra_fine]

Schmidt is hilarious 😂

[@KornFlace]

Crazy how the majority here can relate to Schmidt 👀 That explains why people around always seem so anxious and close to a mental breakdown

[@jenniferthompson2903]

Schmidt and his elitist snobbery was hilarious! 😂

[@knull1237]

I always hated Zoey's character. She's insufferably spiteful for no reason whatsoever. In this case- she did it because Schmidt was having a bad day.

[@sammiepittman3130]

ok but jess couldn’t use my coffee grinder

[@egonmilanowski]

Marines being inflexible? Marines don't plan, they improvise!

[@davidderstyrer]

Jess is the worst!

[@devanman7920]

god shes beautiful

[@DirtCheapFU]

Pedestrian blade grinder lol Honestly I personally take my grinders supercereal too. When you do pour overs you need the best cuts on them good beans.

[@audimaster5000]

He said Conical burr grinder. The idea is it doesn’t cut the beans like a blade grinder. It’s supposed to release the oils and flavors more effectively. Next step for super serious coffee is buying green unroasted coffee and an air popcorn popper to roast your own beans. Roasted to perfection.

[@charliebrown4347]

Points this thing was on the Street! 🤣🤣

[@zlee001]

the girl making the trouble and the show blames the guy and told him to calm down. women writers.

[@JMB86]

Jess is insufferable.

[@markofsaltburn]

I’m just horrified that he prefers Tahitian vanilla over Madagascan.

[@scrambledsamples4318]

I’m totally like a marine

[@sterlingarcher74]

So he’s ok with a basketball hoop in his kitchen, but not an antique hutch?

[@carlmannhard8051]

I don't know what his mojo is but he has me under a spell

[@mikayla60901]

Oh well I’ve used it repeatedly to make homemade crayons. Does that show up in your flavor profile Schmidt?

[@jwurnig]

Jess is a terrible human being. Literally no empathy.

[@professionalbeats.6382]

Side block of my mental jenga

[@kenners4975]

everyone is hating on jess but can we agree that they are both being unreasonable

[@mauia88]

He went so far as to destroy the whole hutch. How do people think he was not a problem too??

[@cassierxse]

yeah that's fair lol. jess shouldn't have messed with him when he was clearly that upset about it, and he shouldn't have gotten so mad.

[@alsi1818]

If someone did that to my coffee grinder, I'd bitchslap them to the north pole. No, I'd make em get me a new one and then bitchslap em to the north pole.

[@drew4176]

I hope she didnt actually use his coffee grinder to make crayons because that would just be rude and doesnt fit jess character