Stay-at-Home Dads are AWESOME! w/ Noelle Mering

[@bookishbrendan8875]

I’m a partial stay-at-home dad. We both work when the other is off. It’s not ideal. But at least we’re raising our children and not paying someone else to.

[@aiantenor9080]

bless you

[@Jerome616]

That’s the key, raise your kids, don’t let someone else do it for you.

[@culpepper7665]

I’m a stay at home dad. We have two 7 year old special needs children we adopted. And my mom who cannot take care of herself anymore after strokes lives with us. It is impossible for both of us to work. It’s unfortunate but my wife simply makes more as a nurse. And her nerves can’t handle the kids and my mom… mine can’t either but we gotta do what we gotta do.

[@Adam-fj9px]

That's a lot of dedication, don't let any of the other comments saying it's wrong affect you everyone has their own unique reasons for doing things

[@aiantenor9080]

bless you

[@hansblitz7770]

That sounds awful, but very honorable at the same time.

[@productiontest]

If she can't handle her own, lord have mercy on the patients she serve.

[@culpepper7665]

@@productiontest I guess it’s easy to judge what you don’t understand. She doesn’t work in an environment where autistic kids scream non stop for 16 hours a day while she’s cleaning up her mother in laws feces etc etc etc. have you ever lived in such an environment?

[@madelineramsey1911]

My Dad had his 2 legs cut off working on an oil rig. He's now a one-legged amupute and an Awsome stay at home Dad. In his free time, he works on neighbor's cars & lawnmowers, along with volunteering in the community. Stay at Home Dads are Awsome! Also, Love how she said home life comes first and office life is for the sake of the home life. Office life is not more important than home life like society says!

[@michaelcallisto]

I was forced to become a stay-at-home dad due to being treated for cancer. The downside is that I still need to take my daughter to daycare often because I'm not always in a good condition to take care of her all day by myself.

[@aiantenor9080]

bless you

[@joehendrickx8475]

I disagree. Years ago both men and women worked at home, and it was the same work - what is your example here?? I grew up on a small farm, and in a home that had many similarities to traditional families. Dad would do the work that was mostly outside of the house (milking cows, raising crops, etc.), and Mom did the work that was mostly inside the house. This fits the gender roles perfectly. It seems like a disservice to say "they did the same work", like we're trying to whitewash the fact that male and female are different.

[@tstrong728]

I grew up on a farm as well… physical strength had a lot to do with who did what; the girls had outside chores too, but us boys had more physically demanding work just because we were better at it. The girls could pretty much do everything, but the boys were more capable at the most physical work.

[@FissileThomist]

They literally can't do the same work. They might work the same business/mission, but they can't possibly do the exact same task

[@Intellectualtakeaway]

Well said

[@madelineramsey1911]

I agree that many home tasks are more or less better for men or women. Especially when it comes to living on a farm with heavy lifting work or statistical or genetic differences in how men and women think and view things. However, what Matt and his guests are talking about is simple things like "doing the dishes, laundry, lighting, electrical work, etc." These are simple tasks both Men and Women can do just as well as the other. There is nothing "feminine" about doing the laundry. There is nothing wrong if Dad wants to help mom do the dishes, or if Mom wants to help Dad cut the grass.

[@joehendrickx8475]

@@madelineramsey1911 for sure! I don't think I had any disagreements with what Matt or his guest said, I was just referring to the comments made by the other guy in the room (cameraman??)

[@sophiahace9920]

I have a serious question: Could the role reversals be attributed to the rampant contraceptive (use/waste, etc) in our water systems? I would be interested in hearing about those studies. Second of all, it is women who are the ones who get pregnant. Would working moms outside of the home influence the amount of children one has? These are serious questions and not to poke fun or disrespect anyone. Thanks so much!

[@Fheflan11]

As for the first question, no. It's not too crazy an idea though. The pill makes women more attracted to more feminine men, so these things might influence choice of partner and therefore also things consequent to this. But human beings are persons with wills, we are not bio-chemical machines. It might affect us to some degree, but eventually this is a matter of the will. As for the second, without a doubt yes. Assuming the women are actually chasing and prioritizing their careers before their families. A more poignant question perhaps is why the women want careers at all, or why they prioritize them over their children. Or even why even catholic married women often do this. Not delving too far into this issue in this post, I think a lot of the blame is to be put on the men. And I'm saying this as a married man providing for my wife to stay at home with the children.

[@jacobrodriguez7771]

Correct. Men belong in the workforce, women at home with children.

[@mrlxii62]

Yeah, order those testosterone pills for dad now! 😄

[@sasi5841]

When women are on the pill they are are attracted to more feminine traits. When they stop taking the pill, they will find those same feminine traits to be unlikeable or down right disgusted by them. There's more that enough stories in the internet of couples divorcing after the women stopped taking the pill.

[@NathanPK]

Thursday made my point for me. Historically, both parents would be home and working. My wife spent the first five years at home. I’ve been home with my kids for the past five years. Our dream is for us to both work part time and be home part time. We just need to figure out how to get to that situation.

[@masonite6450]

They both worked, but in different ways. It's always been understood that the wife is centered around the children, and the husband is the provider and protector. To just make the providing part a 50/50 is an abuse of the marriage roles. Of course the wife supplementing an income is now permitted by recent Popes, but only because of the economic state of society that has stagnated wages to force women into the workforce.

[@anabrito1693]

In reality, in many countries in Europe, like Portugal, the women always worked side by side with the men at the fields. There would be older women that would take care of all the children of the village while the mothers were working in the fields, like a kindergarten. When we read books like the Memoirs of Sister Lucy of Fatima we have a good picture of how life was in those days. It was also common for women to have small businesses and/or sell goods in the streets. Their children were at home with someone else that was taking care of them. In Portugal there were laws from the 18th century forbidding men to engage in those same businesses in order to not harm women's opportunities for earning an income. Societies aren't all the same.

[@Veritas1234]

You all are missing the point. Both parents can work from home. That's not the point. The point is who should be home for the purpose of raising and nurturing young children, and that should not be the father when the mother is able to do it.

[@Luvlizums]

I work and my husband is a SAHD until our daughter turns 4, then she will start preschool. My husband is going to start a side business that he can work a couple hours a week or so while his parents watch her. I feel protected and cared for. I feel like he does more for our family than he would if he was just “bringing home the bacon”. He makes sure our daughter and I are taken care of. I’d rather 1 parent stay home than none. So many babies are being put into daycare at 6weeks or sooner here in the US. It’s so sad. I’m so proud of my husband and all the care and time he puts into making sure we are safe emotionally and physically.

[@CatholicKatherine]

I don’t understand - if the wife has health issues and the husband is a stay at home dad how does the family make money?

[@greciadelgado21]

I think he works from home, I’m not sure though

[@CatholicKatherine]

Then he’s not a stay at home dad. He’s a dad that works remotely.

[@stevenmathie9737]

My partner and I have a new born. She has a year off and goes back to work next year.. She asked me if I want to be a stay at home dad for my first born son. I really want to. I'm worried she will loose respect for me as a man, and look down on me. I really want to stay home with and raise my son

[@mariafriedly]

I have four kids and pregnant of the fifth. I work and my husband is a stay home dad. It is wonderful! She will Definetely NOT lose respect for you but quiet the opposite if you are hard working and dedicated

[@missssophisicated6742]

You need to sit down and talk about it honestly

[@Nancy-nk4lf]

it's mind opening for me. never have any objections on stay-at-home dad, but still, it's a very fresh POV

[@ChromeEagle86]

Joseph was the Carpenter, not the Blessed Mother. This is bad advise.

[@judexbarborum]

Once again Thursday sheds light on the conversation so I can breathe again after listening frustratedly.

[@Veritas1234]

But even homesteading, the man is responsible for the "out of the home" work and not "nurturing the children in the home". Men should not be the "in home nurturers" while the wife is the "out of the home" worker. That is what the discussion is about. Thursdays response did not account for the children so it didn't really address the topic at hand.

[@judexbarborum]

@@Veritas1234 His response implied that men and women, working both together at home, naturally take to the work that suits them. In the Middle Ages, like Thursday suggested, men and women took on the roles you described as a natural consequence of their home lives being properly ordered with respect to work.

[@JohnCenaFan6298]

If u mean stay at home to do work, i think that's fine. But lets not pretend that its not strange to tend to the household like a housewife is normal for a man. Stay at home working on machinery/garden/farm is the way to go as a dad

[@AJKPenguin]

And being a homeschooling teacher too, teaching kids the books and the hands on skills.

[@jimchoy6764]

Strange yes but bad no

[@zackrome6983]

It would be best that both parents can stay home. However to willingly choose to be a stay at home Dad while the Mother goes to work and earn is really perverse. Goes against the teachings of the Popes and saints who've spoken on the matter and Scripture as well.

[@judgmentaltoast]

This. 🙌🏻

[@TheJmlew11]

What if in order to make enough income for one’s family it is better for the wife to work? I have a friend who left seminary and married a doctor.

[@zackrome6983]

@TheJmlew11 if I'm understanding you correctly, your friend stays at home while the wife works because his wife makes more money than he can? If that's the case I'd say it's a sin. It's better to embrace the virtue of voluntary poverty to have the home properly ordered than to invert God's design.

[@TheJmlew11]

@@zackrome6983 You’re saying that’s sinful?

[@zackrome6983]

@@TheJmlew11 if they're willfully inverting God's order of the household solely for the sake of money, yes I'd say that's sinful. Based on Papal teachings and Scripture.

[@kevs2481]

Except with special situations like the comment, It's unnatural for a man to stay at home and fill the role of a woman. God gives Adam work and his punishment is toil. Eve has to support him, not be Adam. Enough with feminism in the Church

[@larryfrakous1332]

Consequences of the fall hardly make for a good ideal

[@Seliz463]

@@larryfrakous1332 the consequence of the fall was that men would be prone to resent having to work and provide. The requirement to work and provide itself is not the result of the fall. Edit: It’s actually one of the first commands God gave to Adam

[@jeremypeyton1251]

You can’t tell me that you have as much respect for a man that stays at the house while his wife goes and makes a living for him than you do for a man who exercises his God given role of provision and protection and creates a safe home for his wife to beautify and Lord willing raise children in.

[@erric288]

I always point to Sts. Louis and Zellie, parents of St. Therese D'Lisieux. Louis had a watchmaker shop and worked on watches and jewlery and such, and Zelie had an at home business of lacemaking. Zelie's lacemaking business took off and Louis's business wasn't doing too well. What did they do? Did Louis shut down his wife's enterprise because she shouldn't be working so hard let alone out earning him? No, he sold off his business and he partnered with her to help manage and grow her business. Why? Because they are under the same mission and where the money comes from doesn't matter so much as long as enough is coming in. Women have a right to be in the workforce and contribute to society in accordance with the charisms and gifts God has given them. I will also add that Zelie was doing all this being pregnant, birthing children, and raising these kids all the while. Three years after the partnership where Louis went fulltime with Zelie in the lacemaking business, they had St. Therese and somehow she ended up alright.

[@anabrito1693]

They are a great model for couples.

[@anabrito1693]

St Gianna Beretta Molla and her husband are also a good example 👍🏻

[@CatholicKatherine]

That’s not what they are talking about at all. That’s a husband and wife owning a business. Not a mom working and a dad staying at home. No woman wants a man that would prefer his wife leave the home to work while he gets to stay home with the kids. I believe it’s very rare that a family has the opportunity for a stay at home parent - why should it ever be the dad over the mom?

[@Seliz463]

@@CatholicKatherine THANK YOU, this is exactly what I was going to say! St Louis was not a “stay at home dad,” what a disingenuous revisionist view of the Martin family, who ran a family business together

[@erric288]

​@@CatholicKatherineI could imagine many reasons why a dad might stay at home. If the wife prior to the marriage had a much more successful career or her career takes off at some point and the husband just isn't as educated or has had some bad luck and isn't able to earn nearly as much. Another could be the husband is disabled in some way. If the couple also values homeschooling and the husband has a better temperament for teaching and tending to the home than the wife, this could also be a consideration. Like others have said it is a luxury and a blessing to have a stay at home parent, so it wouldn't make sense to insist both parents to work if it meant daycare and other associated costs eating up any increased earnings. If one parent can provide the monetary means, by all means the other parent ought to stay home and build the domestic church. And in today's world many of the high paying jobs that women might do can be done remotely from home facilitating breastfeeding and being more present for the kids at meals times and such. I'm not advocating a perfectly able bodied man sitting at home while his wife is digging ditches or something while living at the poverty line. In the past that might have been the concern, but not as much in today's economy.

[@kiyotee]

Don’t fall for it. Genesis defines roles and responsibilities. Then there’s the catechism, Joseph’s example, numerous encyclicals, etc. Our vocations and unity of purposes are complimentary by design for the glory of God.

[@luke2346luke]

Add working from home into the mix and you've got an entire episode of content! On a serious note, we should distinguish between the ideal and the practical. It is quite a privileged thing to even have a conversation about options regarding who works and who stays at home when, for most of the population, there isn't even a conversation to begin with.

[@Veritas1234]

Huh? It's not privileged to have the wife stay home. In fact, it's a sacrifice. To act like the male can't go get a job because the wife makes more or has a job is simply a lifestyle choice.

[@flailsafe5094]

Households can actually afford to be single income, but consumerism has gotten to us so much that people don't even think it's possible.

[@gunsgalore7571]

My grandfather made less than 40k a year with four kids but my grandma was stay-at-home. I have no idea how they did it, but they did. This was back in the 1990s, I don't know how that translates to 2023 $.

[@PatQuiroz]

The guy behind the camera has no idea what he's talking about, the Church has always taught and stated the man is the one who is the primary provider & protector & the wife stays at home.

[@FissileThomist]

Let's not make stay-at-home dads the norm tho. Any man required by circumstance to be a stay-at-home dad should never be ashamed, however. Thursday is full of half-baked nonsense, as per usual

[@tstrong728]

Men are better at most things… except for being a mom

[@d12359]

The title of this video should be changed. What is being discussed is a dad that has to stay at home by CIRCUMSTANCE. What we hear by "Stay-at-home Dad" is a the wife working and husband staying home as roles. So peope are understanding the title to be advocating for this. However, this is not what the video is really discussing.

[@gregeichhold8562]

This was cringe

[@TheHoggopogo]

Your title for this video is misleading. You both admit that stay at home dads are not ideal or a necessary good, but rather less ideal and even perhaps a necessary evil. Your title, without context, encourages people against the normative practice of the Church. We should not, in fact, “be more careful about who we say should stay at home.” Obviously family life and home time is ideal for both parents. But this is not attainable for the vast majority. You should be proudly defending stay at home wives, husbands who work, and discourage stay at home dads if it means the wife has to work. Be more clear; especially in your title.

[@1Andelina1]

If you can have a homestead you still have different roles, no doubt Saint Joseph left and stayed home in a workshop as a carpenter, brought Jesus on jobs etc. Mother Mary took care of the home and raised her son. They are an example for us.

[@masonite6450]

Are you saying it's okay for men to stay home while the woman goes out and works or am I misunderstanding?

[@basharalassad6854]

That's exactly what they're saying

[@kevs2481]

That's wrong

[@Seliz463]

It is NOT okay for men to stay home while the woman goes out to work. Unless he is disabled or otherwise incapacitated, if only one spouse has to work outside of the home then it needs to be the man. This clip is absurd

[@basharalassad6854]

@@Seliz463 true

[@hansblitz7770]

Any man tries this and they can be sure it will come crashing down on the stay at home dad. Stay at home dad, and the wife, is go to Brad's house mom. Almost guaranteed. Now, you can have a super devout wife that has a faith that overcomes her instinctual hominid brain, but she will do so with a degree of hidden discomfort, sometimes hidden misery. She will seethe at the sight of cook and clean man, sitting in his boxer shorts, having zero impact on the world around him. Seethe with disdain, disrespect. Just wait until the fight. Oh boy, stay at home dad is in for it big time, be ready to be ridiculed, called a loser, lazy, bum. Not the dynamic any man wants or needs. Even a war veteran that got his legs taken by an IED will go through this.

[@jeremypeyton1251]

Men being the providers It’s not saying that the work in the home is unimportant… it’s actually the opposite. The work in the home is so important the man goes out every day to work by the sweat of his brow to make a living so his wife has the privilege of being where it’s truly important, the home.

[@sally.g.]

The vast majority of women don't find SAHD attractive (unless he is disabled and therefore unable to work). Work and masculinity are hyperconnected. Don't let this idea into your head, because it most likely won't end well.

[@inedanap6253]

Speaking for "the vast majority of women" also never usually never works well lmao. In my personal experience women are rarely if ever attracted to men who want to stay home for the sake of staying home and have no other ambitions. But I've also found that women find men disproportionately MORE attractive if the man expresses work ambition, but also wishes that he could do work from home/take care of a homestead so he can spend more time with his family. Remember that staying home =/= not working

[@Seliz463]

@@inedanap6253 but the fact is that in a family where one person must go outside of the house (because both working at home together in the home or shared business isn’t possible, even if it’s ideal), then that person should be the man, not the woman.

[@sally.g.]

@@inedanap6253 Mybe I should put it this way: The vast majority of women are attracted to men who express desire and willingness to provide and protect. A man who loves spending time with his family, but decides to provide, is doing a sacrifice that is worthy of respect. God did not create Eve to be just a "prettier version of Adam". He created us different because we are meant to fulfill different roles.

[@inedanap6253]

@@sally.g. I think we mostly just disagreed on phrasing then. 100% agree with that!

[@TheJmlew11]

Don’t let what idea into your head?

[@chrisclements1169]

A sad phenomenon. Won't end well.

[@michaelman957]

This is some good context, very helpful for our confused society. Some people are too stringent, and it pushes people towards a... worse worldview.

[@FlyingJolly]

Babies need frequent access to their mothers' mammary glands...and their mothers' attention/love/care/affection more often than their fathers'. A man who won't or can't give his wife and children this kind of life is not "awesome". A father is NOT a replacement for a mother.

[@archie8767]

Oh. So as Catholics, God will judge us men for how much money we earned?

[@myfakinusername]

@@archie8767 Wow self conscious much?? How did you get to that conclusion out of that comment?

[@archie8767]

@@myfakinusername "A man who won't or can't." Emphasis on can't.

[@Aurelius_Aurora]

Life isn't always that black and white. There may be times when the man can't find any work and the wife could. Would it he better for man to shallow his pride and let his wife work till he finds a job or would it be better to let the whole household suffer due to this belief "stay home dads are always bad no matter what".

[@davyrantucci]

@@Aurelius_Auroracan he not find a job in his field? Is he too prideful to work at like a hardware store or something? The only reason a man can’t find work is because he isn’t humble enough. His pride does stand in the way…of his providing. My Husband is blind and would take on a second job if need be. There are very few and dire situations where a man should be a keeper of a home and send his wife to work.

[@Seliz463]

I would have incredible difficulty having respect for a man if he just decided he wanted to be a stay at home dad, while he is otherwise able bodied and fully capable of working, and he wanted to rip his wife out of the home to go bring home the bacon. Sorry but no woman wants a man like that

[@undolf4097]

Thanks Thursday! Women always worked (sorry but the 20th century non working mom just wasn’t a thing before). What is very new are women competing with men in the workplace. Women enter bread winning work forces and it’ll HAVE to result in the man taking on more homemaker roles. I just don’t believe it’s “hardwired gender roles” like others say because the phenomenon of the stay at home mom and the working father is from a time when divorce rates skyrocketed

[@basharalassad6854]

Being a stay at home mother is also work, what matters is that male and female work is different.

[@basharalassad6854]

Also your evidence being that it's not hardwired because of skyrocketing divorce rates is just wrong. We have the highest divorce rates now where you have interchangeable gender roles.

[@undolf4097]

@@SteubenThursday i did not intend to reiterate what you said but to add to it with better information. I did not mean to imply to the breakdown of gender roles. I do mean to say that women competing with men is an erosion of gender roles in so far as it makes no gender distinction.

[@PapalLifter]

Rerum Novarum check?

[@justian1772]

Can the man be Head if only the woman works? Odd angle.

[@Seliz463]

Nope. There is another word for that kind of man, it’s called a p*mp.

[@archie8767]

I'd say yes.

[@justian1772]

@@archie8767 It could be done, but it'd be a minority of cases I'd wager. The exception not the rule.

[@archie8767]

@@justian1772 Are men vessels for material gain? Is that the dignity or presence of man?

[@inedanap6253]

That seems like a very materialistic interpretation of what it means to be the "head" of a house. The Catholic view of marriage is not preeminently determined by the minutiae of who brings grain into the house and who makes bread with it, but by the spiritual roles that each spouse takes in the family

[@Chordus_Gaius]

It would be an Ideal, but because of the 18th century and the rise of Industries in the 19th century, the situation changed making the Big Cities the centers of wealth. And many men went to work at the factories, some women did had jobs in the textile industry, but the majority stayed at home.

[@libertasinveritas3198]

No, sorry. Men should be the providers and women should stay at home and take care of the children. Cooking? Sure - men can do that, but being a SAHD is lacking in masculinity and no woman in her right mind will feel attracted to that. That's simply not how we work. Women want a protector, someone to look up to, and someone who makes it easy for them to fulfill their biological inclinations. If both can't work together at home, it isn't the man who should take care of the home.

[@virinotradfemme]

Thank you! I can't believe a Catholic would say that SAHDs are attractive or help with longevity of a union. If you can't cook but your husband can, your mother failed you.....harsh but the truth. (Regarding the woman in the video).

[@CatholicKatherine]

I love a man that can cook! But a man that desires to be a stay at home dad is actually the most unattractive thing in the world.

[@NathanPK]

One can still be a protector while staying at home, provider via other income (pension or investments from a previous career), and let her fulfill a *human* inclination of work and career. Older kids respond well to a dad’s influence, and if you homeschool like us, it doesn’t matter which parent does it. You shouldn’t generalize your own inclinations as a fundamental truths. (“That’s simply not how we work.”) Speaking for my own marriage, we’ve both done five years at home, her when the kids were little and me recently. My wife’s uncle stayed home with his boys while her aunt worked and his marriage is still solid.

[@libertasinveritas3198]

@@NathanPK Work and career is not the natural inclination of a mother. A pension is something completely different, so I don't know why you're bringing this up. I homeschool, and it does matter who does it. I would not respect my husband, if I had to work, while I leave the children I grew inside of me with him at home. I don't care about how you handle your life, my standpoints have been scientifically been proven - traditional role models are what lead to happy couples.

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

How do you factor Priscilla being a tentmaker into the equation?

[@alphaomegacatholic]

Dont consider all sorts of interpretations, Go to scripture , popes , cathecism and Fr.Ripperger on this topic undoubtedly. Mothers are designed uniquely by God. No one ,not even dads can fit in her shoes at home.

[@basharalassad6854]

By saying stay at home fathers are good you're no different than the left, you're essentially saying women and men's positions are interchangeable. Even in the age of Christendom, the men and women had different roles when they were farmers.

[@archie8767]

I'm not sure that such a claim is being made. Men are not women and women are not men regardless of the economic status of either. We are given particular charisms which exceed our particular circumstance.

[@basharalassad6854]

@@archie8767 It is the claim being made, to propose stay at home fathers are good is to say men and women are interchangeable. You can say "women are women and men are men" but do you actually apply this properly? If you actually believe they're different then they have to be treated differently and have different responsibilities. If women are truly more caring and better at taking care of others then that must mean their primary role is the rearing of children.

[@archie8767]

@basharalassad6854 Yes, it is a primary role relative to the family. Just as it is the primary role for the father to essentially lead the home. A man is not a Marxist material reduction to his income potential. All men are called to be fathers in all contexts by their nature. The same is true for women. The pre-eminent issue is neglect of the family.

[@basharalassad6854]

@@archie8767 The primary role of a man is to lead the family as you say however the Bible clearly says that the Man's duty is to toil and to work. If a man's responsibility naturally is to work, to lead, and to protect the family then therefore he must not be a stay at home father to do this. If a man does not have the resources to direct the family then he does not truly lead and even women acknowledge this naturally.

[@inedanap6253]

I think they're drawing a distinction between physical and spiritual roles. The Catholic understanding of marriage isn't primarily determined by the materialistic minutiae of who gets what from where. The spiritual role of husband and wife cannot change, and this is more important to the Catholic idea of marriage. This LENDS ITSELF to a scenario in which the man plays a larger role in material collection. However, the cultural, physical, and financial state of a couple can change how these roles are prudently carried out, and it can be objectively good for a couple in certain circumstances to change who is collecting what. They are not arguing that men and women are interchangeable. They are arguing that men and women's roles can't be reduced to a rigid, materialistic "who earns what". They are spiritual, first and foremost. And this will lend itself to certain natural physical positions, but ultimately this might have to change.

[@alphaomegacatholic]

ya right, its very good for man to stay at home and fight the evils of culture and society from home 😅. such a poor representation of roles and genders too for that matter.

[@FissileThomist]

I dislike thrsday espousing the idea that men leaving the home is artificial @thrsday. It simply became common to go to a corporate office vs a small trade business due to urbanization/industrial revolution. It was definitely more dependent on profession type/level of urbanization. A good example of this is the speculation that St. Joseph, as a carpenter, probably did some sort of contract construction work commissioned by Herod every now and then to make sufficient money. He would have had to leave the home for work like that. Possibly for weeks at a time at times. Mike Aquilina writes about this on the book he recently wrote about St. Joseph. The idea of men leaving the home to work is not a foreign idea for any craftsmen and merchants, etc. Agrarian living is definitely different. Everyone on my grandpa's childhood farm worked, but that's because they lived on a farm. Mom and pop small business and agrarian living are fairly different from any sort of construction/engineering/legal work which are highly technical trades with limited supply and a lot of demand that have always been around in cities.

[@jackhellier3889]

No no no no no no. Bad take.

[@gunsgalore7571]

Interesting discussion. I've always been of the mindset that a man has to provide for his family. Even way back in the day, it was men who went out and hunted and brought home the kill. I think that if we lose this ideal, then we lose the basic natural functions of the two sexes, which would be catastrophic if the modern bubble were to burst for any reason and we had to start living off the land again. But that being said, this is an ideal. What happens when you have a man who is physically or mentally impaired? The woman's going to have to take over if he can't do his job.

[@davyrantucci]

Not true in todays society. My Husband is blind and works to provide for me and our 8 children. Technology has come along way for disabled people and there is a lot people can utilize now.

[@MrPeach1]

stay at home dads is bad. Kids dont wanna snuggle hairy Dads they want Mom...

[@MrPeach1]

@@NaruIchiLuffy Even if they do all that kids will still want Mom. Dads are chopped liver compared to Moms. I know your kidding though.

[@mrlxii62]

The traditional argument is, of course, that our assigned roles fall according to our God created nature as man or woman. So a women, by nature of her bodily components is made to bring forth and nurture life, and in the way her brain works, every point within seeming to be connected to every other point within, is multitasking. She sees the whole picture from above with eagle eyes at 50,000 ft. She is naturally equipped to manage the complexities in a home. Yes, this nature can also be used to run major corporations, but at the cost of their primordial calling. A man on the other hand is a boot on the ground, a foot soldier. His body is configured to do the heavy lifting. He is task driven. He may have the next task on the back burner, but focuses only on the one at hand. His brain is comprised of hundreds of unconnected boxes, the next of which he does not open until the previous one has been closed. And please don't expect anything from him when he is in the "nothing box." Just let him fish in his fishless pond until he emerges again. I think the upshot of the clip is that although the natures are different, roles can be crossed in order to get stuff done ( I changed my daughter's diaper more than once). So it's OK, as long as the activities that principally go with each nature are not discounted.

[@andreav9811]

This was a fantastic short clip - I would love to watch a longer episode discussing this topic if it’s available

[@jimbo3847]

Women, again, are not suited for certain occupations; a woman is by nature fitted for home-work, and it is that which is best adapted at once to preserve her modesty and to promote the good bringing up of children and the well-being of the family. As a general principle it may be laid down that a workman ought to have leisure and rest proportionate to the wear and tear of his strength, for waste of strength must be repaired by cessation from hard work. Rerum Novarum 42, Pope Leo XIII

[@sandstorm7768]

I think everyone needs to hear this! Both believers and non believers! 👍

[@rpmgrlca]

Emasculating.

[@dwightschrute900]

No…

[@Seliz463]

@@dwightschrute900 yes…

[@engineer4god470]

*sigh* I’m a watcher of Timothy Gordon’s channel and unfortunately I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one, Matt (and that’s pretty rare). I can see if a man is forced to be a stay at home dad, it’s not inherently wrong, but it’s not an ideal situation. It’s an evil (not morally speaking but a bad situation). The book of Sirach (25:21-26 ) explicitly expresses it is a great cause for shame for a wife to support her husband. Tim Gordon has made a video responding to this one. Perhaps you can watch it and offer a charitable response? My opinion is actually in between Tim’s and yours so I’m willing to hear you out.

[@hansblitz7770]

Stay at home dad, not a good idea. Vvomen have it hardwired into their DNA to lose respect for that. It will happen and they will just react to it emotionally without even realizing it is happening, they are captive to their emotions. Next thing she is looking to replace stay at home dad with whatever guy is successful, doesn't even matter who, really. Yes, she will throw her family under the bus, that doesn't matter either, and blame it all on the dad. She will probably get used by the new dude just for fun, because no high quality man actually wants a single mom.

[@NathanPK]

My wife and her aunt would call BS on your biological determinism. I’ve been stay at home for five years and still have a great marriage. Her uncle stayed home and raised their boys, and they’re still together. Her aunt is still sticking by him through his cancer battle now. Don’t be so cynical.

[@libertasinveritas3198]

@@NathanPK Nobody cares about your life. It's a fact and it's pretty damn obvious. Feminism has lead to the feminization of men and masculinization of women, leading to many problems and the destruction of families, BECAUSE WOMEN DON'T RESPECT MEN LACKING IN MASCULINITY.

[@JohnCenaFan6298]

Well u do have to find the right woman. This absolutely happens, but thats why traditional courtship, asking the father permission et cetera is required. Otherwise, we generally ought to be for males leading the household and presumably being the worker at work. I personally think ur work would suffer with kids about if u r at home but each to their own

[@sassychimpanzee7431]

Ben Shapiro's father stayed home while his mother worked. They're still married. Maybe you should try to not let statistics overrun your life so much

[@basharalassad6854]

@@NathanPK Who cares about your personal experience, the stats show he's right

[@marcuswesleyb]

I would really appreciate productive commentary on this. I understand the positions of principles versus utility and practical vs. Ideal. My situation is I was a Protestant minister. both my wife and I worked before we began having children. Being millennials, we were raised without any clear distinction or deep thought given to what it meant to be husband and wife and mother and father. So we have become more traditional in principle overtime however I left my Protestant ministry and we became Catholic a few years back. Our practical reality is that her career which she began well before we ever began having children provides far better than I can as of now. When you leave the church world your job and skill sets don't easily translate and there's no accreditation for your abilities and other fields that readily support a family of five We also do not want to send our kids to public school so we do Catholic homeschooling we can not afford private Catholic school. So my question is I understand this is not ideal nor even normal nor do i espouse it as a desired end but what do we do when we have financial obligations and other principal obligations such as educating our children outside of the secular society but our situation is such that we cannot afford to simply cut ourselves off from her earning power and meet our financial obligations on the very diminished state my income would bring. In your charity, know that i deal every day with a crisis of conscience so I put this out there for meaningful engagement and not destructive input as my mind already does that on its own. Thank y'all.

[@Seliz463]

Marcus, I posted this comment to someone else on this thread, but I think it would be helpful to you, although some of it may seem out of context because you didn’t read it as part of the original conversation. But regardless I think it answers your concerns: and I’ll make it a point to say I am a woman, a former law professor who chose to become a stay at home mom. My income potential and education was certainly superior to my husbands, and from a practical financial perspective it would’ve made more sense for me to work and for him to stay home (or for us to both work and rely on daycare and nannies). Nobody in the secular world would have begrudged us these options. But the fact is that while either of us could work and I would arguably be a better provider…only one of us can be a mother. And it is specifically the mother that children need, if they’re going to have to settle for only one parent in the home (ideally both parents would be home, such as with homesteading, or family business, etc). We happily made the decision to live on less money so that the kids could be with mommy while they are little. I can go back to work any time when they are grown. But I am irreplaceable and indispensable in my home while my kids are young. Again, there is no suitable substitute for a mother in the home. If we are going to fight a social and cultural battle over anything, it should NOT be over the “right” of mothers to work outside of the home. The fight should be for the rights of CHILDREN to have their mothers available, and creating economic and political structures that support and encourage that. THIS is how we could fix the multitude of social ills that plague our society. By placing the thriving needs of children first, over the illusory battle for the selfish fulfillments of either men or women. Women and men are not interchangeable in the lives of children. They never will be. There are things ONLY a mother provides in her home, regardless of what kinds of other skills and talents she may possess (and likely does, as many women are quite capable and brilliant). But the world cannot get by without mothers being mothers, and fathers being fathers. It’s about how God designed the family and what is best for the kids.

[@davyrantucci]

I would add from my position, I am a wife to a man who is blind, we have 8 children and he works outside the home to provide for us, he has never allowed his disability to overcome his duties to our family. If you are in this position now, my advice is to take some classes and become trained in something that can make money. The other option is to move, downsize and make it work. You need to allow your wife to be in the home. In all charity, she is irreplaceable in that aspect and you cannot do for your house and children, what she can, because God gave women certain abilities for the home that no man, no matter how good, can replicate. I hope you find a solution❤

[@NathanPK]

I can only speak for my own experience. My wife stayed home for the first five years, and we swapped roles not for monetary reasons but because she had a good job offer in a better location, was sick of being home, and I hated my job. She brings home less than I was at the time, but we live in a much better place. I've got grade-schoolers at home, 8 and 10. They don't need mom to be their homeschool teacher any more than they would need mom to be at their private Catholic school. They'll get as much mom time as anyone else who has a working mom, and not much less than a kid who goes to school. The hardest part for me has been learning to take pride in being a good homemaker. My wife has never complained that I don't bring money home, but she has complained that I didn't have dinner planned. The only opinion that matters here is hers. Just make sure you do a great job at home and that she gets plenty of time with the kids when she comes home.

[@shellydickinson8598]

GENDER DYSPHORIA‼️‼️‼️‼️

[@jeffg56]

No... No they are not

[@larryfrakous1332]

In the Garden both Adam and Eve were tending a garden. Nothing like our modern work, so I think it’s pretty flexible and just the nature of the man-made economy

[@productiontest]

Huge difference, we were not fallen then so we could do the same work

[@mikemueller99]

great video, also I've only just paid attention to the great bottles you've got, Siete leguas, Lagavulin 16 i think, and Blantons, all great choices. You should do an episode where you share your favorites

[@DavidHowe-nv1nb]

Very bad idea, generally speaking. Extenuating circumstances can make it necessary, and with God's grace it can turn out well. Christians should be very, very cautious about inverting gender norms.

[@davyrantucci]

Ya no even if a man had a job in the home aka farming etc, they weren’t hanging around their wife and kids all day. Until their sons came of an age to apprentice, they were with their mom not Dad. Why don’t men want to work? Barring dire circumstances, men should be working and not at home. My Husband is blind and holds down a job to support our family with 8 children and will take on a second job if need be to support us because as the mom, I’m irreplaceable in the home. I can’t go off and work and expect him to do the same level of work I do to keep the home, blindness or not. It’s not who God created him to be. We are most fulfilled when we follow God’s order, and that includes our gender order and the natural abilities enabled within that.

[@kathieamacher687]

Speaking of beards...why are you wearing that one?

[@AsianTheDomination]

We need nationalal socialism now

[@Catmonks7]

Great video 🙏⛪️✝️🇺🇸🇻🇦❤️

[@grumpycrumbles7360]

This is why I love being Catholic. It's never black and white, but very nuanced!

[@danielm1991]

Timothy Gordon is crying

[@RulesForRetrogrades]

Nope. Laughing

[@davyrantucci]

Timothy Gordon needs to come on here and give everyone a reality check.

[@grantbenson7458]

Big L.

[@virinotradfemme]

And.....unsubscribed! 😂😂😂

[@dwightschrute900]

WAH

[@TheJmlew11]

Does someone presenting you with a different viewpoint than your own provide you with so much insecurity that you will unsubscribe from them?

[@virinotradfemme]

@TheJmlew11 not insecure sir or madam. Marriages where the men stay home, don't equate to much happiness. Could the marriage last? Sure! But women are not sexually attracted to men who stay home with children. Women child rear for a reason. I do believe where there are special cases where dad might HAVE to stay at home for whatever reason suits the couple. But to promote it, is very jarring....especially coming from a Catholic. Must be that new age post-feminism Catholicism. Moms in the home and dads working (unless special case due to medical, etc.) is the best environment for any child. Am I saying dad's who stay at home due to special cases are horrible? Absolutely not. But to say, "so we can provide the best environment for a HAPPY marriage and HEALTHY children, we should switch roles"....is asking for trouble. If a Catholic is standing behind that, no need for me to continue to consume content. Besides, it's a huge channel with amazing monetization....I won't be missed. 😂😂😂

[@joe5959]

Stay at home dads will lead that marriage to its end, without question, every time Men work, women take care of the family. This was absolutely bad advice and you should probably delete the video, the majority of women hate stay at home dads

[@Seliz463]

100%. We already have a word for a man who is fully capable of working, but instead makes his wife leave her children to go make him money…and we don’t call those guys “stay at home dads.” The correct word is p-mp

[@joe5959]

​@@Seliz463At least pimps have some level of authrority, stay at home dads dont have any say at all, if your wife is the breadwinner and running the family, she'll look for a stronger guy whos more capable. Call me pessimistic, but the marriage statistics arent in mens favor and 80% of the time women initiate it. I dont care if the man is disabled, work from home, learn to code, find a way to make money, there are no excuses if you want to keep your family from collapsing

[@Magdalene41]

AWESOME! is not the word I would use nor is it the tone that you yourselves used. In some situations being a stay at home dad is called for, but that’s not the same as AWESOME. Also what is this revisionist defining of terms?! Submission is “shared mission”, or “under the mission”?? So what does “submit” mean, “to be under the mit”? Submission is clearly about yielding to the authority of someone ABOVE you. It’s about obedience, hierarchy, top-down command structure. Have a problem with hierarchy? Become a Protestant

[@iroquoispliskin8936]

🤮

[@dwightschrute900]

Your response is 🤮