Stop "Working on Yourself"! w/ Fr. Boniface Hicks

📺 Full Episode: • Father Boniface Gives ...
Matt reads an extended passage from "The Context of Holiness" to encourage people experiencing discouragement. This triggers a discussion on the importance of communion and community in healing and holiness.
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[@ellenmiller5797]

WHAT!!! I just listened to 3 minutes of this. WHAT?? I can stop working on myself after 52 years of debilitating anguish, scruples, self hatred. WHAT? I can just ask the grace of God to resist temptations as they come? Really? These are the BEST words I've eve heard! I JUST ordered both books. Thank you, Matt. Thank you Father.

[@Quekksilber]

God bless you on your journey, Ellen. God is good.

[@geo.ies93]

Right? I needed this too! First video i saw on the feed first thing in the morning.

[@user-vo8so5sh3n]

I feel the EXACT same way!!! I pray every day for healing, for change to be better and on and on…I’m never better! But now for the first time I “see”…praise to You, Lord Jesus Christ ♥️🙏

[@davidmcpike8359]

What's that saying? "If it sounds too good to be true..."

[@marniee.d.5511]

This is basically the “12 step program”for addiction. Which makes sense because the program has a Christian background.

[@engineer4god470]

As a single Catholic constantly asking myself why I’m not married yet, the answer always seems to be that I need to “work on myself” so I can become worthy enough to be loved by a woman. I wonder how I can apply the wisdom of this video in my situation. I’m not necessarily talking about sin but social awareness. I guess I just have to remember that even if I never end up getting married, God still loves me where I’m at.

[@serga7486]

you gain social awareness by being more social. YA groups, hobby groups, cold approaching, etc. heck, even hanging out with family more. hearing anecdotes about how to handle situations is helpful (youtube, from friends, etc) but its not the best way. i suggest starting with people that are easy to read haha dont let the "im not worthy" mindset get in your way. no one is deserving of romance. and everyone is a prize in an of themselves. don't let that get in your way when a million other things already are. and yeah the operative response to "how do i get better at dating" is indeed "work on yourself." its lame, its a cliche, and there's better advice. i doubt many people have something serious they need to actually work on or else they can't maintain a relationship. finally, i just think a lot of people are just bad at giving advice. doubt yourself less and others more lad. best

[@daritter]

God loves everyone, including you. Don’t be so hard on yourself, it’s perfectly ok to be single, and onls God knows if you will get married and when, just have faith.

[@samanthaannfuchsgruber]

Yes. I can relate to this to, as a 20-year-old woman. God loves us where we are at!!! ✝🥰

[@doloresmurphy3344]

​@@serga7486😮😊😊😅😢3

[@radmomthoughts3507]

So I spent my 20's wondering when I was going to find the perfect guy and get married, and it took til I was 29, after praying a novena to St. Joseph to send me a Godly spouse. My husband had also said a St. Joseph novena for the exact same thing, without either of us knowing each other. We are now happily married for a decade with 5 amazing kids. My brother got married to a woman who is totally perfect for him (he's sciencey, maybe like you, from your username, and it took a while to find someone who was single and intellectually compatible) when they were both 40. My mom has a friend who prayed for a good husband, and finally, in her late 30's, met a wonderful doctor who had been praying for the same thing and they had 3 lovely girls. Point being, that it is so so so much better to wait for God's timing, because if marriage is your vocation, He is probably either preparing you for your wife, or preparing her, or both. Being single is a great opportunity to get involved, especially with volunteering with your parish or for a nonprofit, which is also a great way to meet a good-hearted woman. You don't have to teach Sunday school: many parishes or Newman Centers need help with their websites or online outreach, or landscaping, or organizing their food bank. Pro-life nonprofits always need volunteers, even to just stuff envelopes. And there is always bucket-list stuff that's easier to do before you get married and have kids, like hike the Camino de Santiago or go on pilgrimage to Rome, also a great way to meet someone. 'Experience Mission' has young adult mission trips to 3rd world countries. Matt met his wife through FOCUS youth missions. I'll say a prayer for you!

[@Eternally_Catholic]

What makes St. Therese such a great saint is her great trust in Jesus that He will forgive her and be with her in Heaven. Trust is both stillness and action. The line from her autobiography that sticks with me the most is when she said even if she were the worst sinner in the world she would not hesitate to throw herself into the arms of her savior and trust in His infinite mercy.

[@TheOshag]

"My weakness is always a near occasion of communion." Beautiful. Thank you Fr. Boniface!

[@richard_the_sinner]

I wish more people could experience how holy the Monks of St Vincent Archabbey are. If any of you have the opportunity, please visit for a retreat, or a meeting of the Oblates, or even to simply visit the the cemetery and pray for the Monks who have passed.

[@katlewis6264]

Having a full on breakdown in the gym. “Please don’t hide from me.” The most beautiful words you could say to another being. Thank you. Thank you.

[@chanteusesanders]

Whenever God meets you, He does not pick a time or place, so I feel you. I also have moments of breaking down at public places hehe

[@Intrepid_Insomniac]

As a neurotic “self-improver” this is gold! Thank you! 🙏🏻🕊️❤️

[@Simpleandslowliving]

Just figured out that my problems are not the circumstances but my self hatred because I can't get everything right and be a perfect mother and wife as everyone else seems to be. Thank you so much for this video. Unbelievable how God giving answers all the time, if we are just willing to listen ❤

[@DJWidget]

This is one of those videos that I'm going to chew on and watch multiple times. I'm in a place in life where this has been weighing me down, and you have both encouraged me to reevaluate many current things. Thank you for the work you all continue to do.

[@tcancella7286]

Context of holiness

[@Taylor314ce]

This is awesome. I work with people that always make jokes that I am religious. I am going to resist the temptation of saying nothing and welcome them back to Church.

[@EM-ri5dj]

God bless you for being religious!

[@joshflinchbaugh5866]

Imma need some time to meditate on this but I've been struggling with self-hatred and self-destructing thoughts for as long as I can remember and dealt in the self-help stuff that NEVER satisfied me. Read all the books yet nothing works. I'd be paying that one day I'll be free of this temptation to sin. "Working on yourself and be an insidious mask of self-hate for it makes you feel that something wrong with you until you are healed" nuff said.

[@btsnoona_]

I have worked on healing from trauma, it was a necessary thing for me to do, God led me through it... And I'm so thankful! But ultimately it led me back to the imperfect person I have always been and have always loved. It's a very profound thing to realize you can be loved for who you are. A devotional I've been doing for years says, God calls us more for our weaknesses than our strengths, He can use us in our weaknesses, we don't think we have it all figured out in that area and we are so much easier to mold at that point. How many did He call throughout the Bible that would have not been anyone's first choice. And still God told Paul that His grace is sufficient... I think we should always work on healing, but ask God to lead us at the same time.

[@r.walker7986]

Perfection is not attainable and its ok. It does not negate your hard work and effort, the goal should not be perfection, it should simply be becoming "better" more whole, and as good as you can be.

[@VMG3]

“He makes himself weak by giving us freedom”. 😮😮 This is an amazing clip !

[@carolzappa1804]

This brought me such peace. Beautiful. Thank you. 🙏❤🕊✝️👑⛪🙏

[@ICSPublications]

Thanks, Matt and Fr. Boniface, for the great discussion and the quotes from The Context of Holiness! The life of St. Thérèse demonstrates that healing and holiness aren't about becoming someone with more self-sufficiency to overcome temptation but becoming *little* ... someone who knows his or her littleness and brokenness, denies that voice to be self-reliant, and relies entirely on God and the transformative grace that comes from doing His will in the midst of our brokenness. Our wounds, like Jesus's on the Cross, are the contexts of our own transformations that will bring God glory! God bless!

[@Anna-jg5br]

Amazing! I prayed to God to please please help me because I was so disgusted with myself that I could not ‘conquer’ a fear I had even though I know God protects me always. I suffer from scruples and believe me - suffer is the correct description of this condition. And then I saw this video. Thank you for helping me to understand that this is part of the human condition and to be patient with myself handing it to God. And thank you God for putting this video right in my line of vision tonight. Just what I needed - thank you!

[@evas7997]

Saint Teresa also suffered from scruplucy

[@catholicfemininity2126]

Scruples is the worst... oh my gosh...

[@FigaroHey]

Helps me realize that as confession hrlps me become more aware of what triggers me to negative reactions to others (anger, resentment, annoyance, outrage at their treatment of me), I find myself less turbulent interiorly but this conversation is helping me realize that every time someone disrespects me or tries to manipulate me I am being given an opportunity to not sin as a response.

[@I-Am-He]

Reminds me of the movie Dodgeball when Kate says to Peter; “I’m curious, is it strictly apathy, or do you really not have a goal in life?” And Peter says; “I found that if you have a goal… that you might not reach it, but if you don’t have one… then you are never disappointed; and I gotta tell ya, it feels phenomenal.” 😂

[@GrislyAtoms12]

Any time someone brings up that movie, all I think about is Rip Torn throwing wrenches at them.

[@pixydncer1]

Oh my gosh! I’ve been isolating for most of this year trying to “work on myself” and getting to frustrated and depressed. No wonder! This makes so much sense. Thank you for this conversation. 🕊️🙏🏼❤️

[@thimygonzalez8838]

Same 🥲

[@catholicfemininity2126]

Part of me is like, "I'll lose all this weight and become hot and come back to this young adult group and show those men who didn't like me what they missed out on." ....bruh...

[@catholicfemininity2126]

This is especially true for single Catholics that want marriage and to be parents. Women especially.... Always work on yourself, but what happens when you do and you still can't get a date? Crushing....

[@catholicchristian8309]

"2 Corinthians 12: 7And lest the greatness of the revelations should exalt me, there was given me a sting of my flesh, an angel of Satan, to buffet me. 8For which thing thrice I besought the Lord, that it might depart from me. 9And he said to me: My grace is sufficient for thee; for power is made perfect in infirmity. Gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10For which cause I please myself in my infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ. For when I am weak, then am I powerful." Another great insight of Biblical proportions! Thank you Fr. Boniface for a beautiful explanation! God bless you both

[@EvelynRivera-z3k]

What an absolutely beautiful soul this Fr. Boniface Hicks is! To think what God must be like is way beyond our understanding! We can't even begin to grasp what a fountain of love He truly is!

[@petamawby]

The most refreshing thing I've listened to in a long time. This is the EXACT reason I left the self help / personal development world and returned to the Catholic Church after 30 years wandering in the desert. Thanks Matt (from a fellow Aussie)

[@sammig.8286]

Reminds me of something I read somewhere that negative self talk is the enemy of self discipline and productivity. How many times I said to myself, "Stop being lazy! Ugh why am I struggling so much with this? Why can't I just do it? I'm so pathetic." It just caused me to become more frozen (for lack of a better word) and not be able to move and do what needed to be done.

[@JustineDelforge]

Thank you so much for this, Matt! St. Theresa is truly a saint for modern times! God bless you! ❤

[@serbear0691]

God really listens. Today i've been very depressed. I've been dealing with so much self-hatred lately. the thing i hate most is myself. I have this mindset of trying to FIX everything. I'm broken i need fixing. But God answered my prayers and i watched this video. Thank you

[@rjolson1219]

That saddens me to read. I struggle with this intermittently and I heard once that the devil wants to rip us apart and if he can get us to do it to ourselves he rejoices at the victory. This has helped me knowing so that whenever I catch myself mentally beating myself up- I stop and say not today Satan! I am a child of God and yes I am deficient and that is why I have a Savior and he calls me his beloved. I pray this can bless you as knowing it has blessed me

[@USABeauboy]

Love yourself like your neighbor. If you hate yourself there's no way in the world you can respect other people. Try to process and work through one thing at a time that bothers you the most about yourself. Of course pray and put it in God's hands but work on yourself. Do not stop.

[@epel4416]

Coming to terms with the fact that you cannot always change yourself is still working on yourself.

[@ChiefNabster]

Beautifully insightful, elegant, graceful, fun, entertaining and true video for my Saturday morning recovery after a very tough week - thank you brothers in Christ 😉🕊️🙌💯

[@RonchildofJesus]

You guys are amazing! Thank you so much for that perspective in that conversation. I have shared this video, and I am going to rewatch it over and over again, because we are all broken and I am very broken but I know I am also loved deeply by our Lord and Savior.

[@thankyou62]

I get what you’re saying and it does give hope, but I really do hope I get deliverance from my addictive tendencies. Yes, there is something beautiful about continually going to God for mercy and to rely on Him, but I do think he wants true freedom for me.

[@GavSmith1888]

You have most likely changed many good people's perception of their sins by your wisdom in the podcast. Amazing mate. God bless. Maybe I will stop beating myself up for minor things aswell. Cheers bro. N pints 🙏

[@michaelman957]

I just got back from a retreat wherein I was learning a lot of this. It is a painful but very worthwhile process.

[@katkat2340]

All the Saints teach this in one way or another… surrender and pray , hope, don’t worry. It’s more about loving God and letting that love sanctify you. He perfects not us. We just need to be open to letting God work in us. At least that’s my take. Very nice read… keep giving us nuggets of spiritual wisdom. Very encouraging.

[@alexr.3504]

Thank you for this video. I teared up and this moved my heart. Our Father loves us so much 🥹

[@aikarodriguez6146]

One of the most enlightening videos I've ever heard on KZbin! One of the best ever! Thank you so much 🥺

[@CathyO-mq1sx]

WOW!! One of the most powerful clips I have ever watched on KZbin! How freeing and enlightening and brilliant, all at the same time! Thank you thank you for sharing this, it is a monumental KZbin moment!! ❤

[@RosaIbanez-m3y]

Beautiful, simply beautiful what father Boniface is saying. Sweet and true. God you are beautiful ❤

[@petrab8373]

So wonderful to hear all this

[@ladyatoru]

Beautiful memories came to me about my early years at Penn State when seeing Fr. Boniface, May God bless him.

[@cassiehintermister4586]

I’m literally crying over here. I love all of this. So sorry I didn’t get that last bit of advice when my kids were little. That’s a beautiful thing - jubilee day 💕

[@mariebuhagiar]

Wow.. this is so beautiful 💗

[@tinat2967]

Beautiful! I needed that explained to me and this was the simple explanation I needed. Thank you

[@LisaM656]

Wow, I loved this video. Thanks so much Matt.

[@USABeauboy]

Yes AND no. Yes you must love yourself and accept your strengths and weaknesses and forgive yourself. However NO you should not stop working on yourself. Manage your emotions learn self-control and watch your thoughts. So I don't agree with you. Also everyone should take responsibility for their current state of mind by taking steps TO WORK ON YOURSELF.❤ P.S. such a great gift to your kids. "Jubilee day!" You're a fantastic parent.

[@catholicfemininity2126]

I'm tired of working on myself for men that will never seem to like me no matter what I do. It's time to forget them and just work on myself gently and slowly for God. Because I'm tired of trying to please people who keep telling me I'm not 'good enough' because I'm not a perfect looking trad model at age 20. I'm sick of it.

[@moniquevamado]

Love this so much and agree so much with what you both shared. Thank you for this! ❤‍🔥

[@waterlilyandvine]

I needed to hear all of this. Thank you!

[@cburys]

I love the parental advice at the end. Thank you for that gem.

[@pug7053]

Focus on creating and habituating the new, not destroying or conquering the old. Giddy up fellow Cath's.

[@Vircago]

Powerful! Thank you for this!

[@rl2388]

Looking forward meeting you in australia!! So excited

[@patrickodonnell4109]

Beautiful discussion. Thank you 😊

[@danielarodriguezminsky9643]

Thank you, this is such a relief

[@leonora8954]

This is such a good video. Thanks Matt and Fr. Boniface.

[@tvhead7074]

1:37-1:47 but as a young man, I need to work on myself to become the man I want to be. I’m currently not where I need to be at in order to be a good husband to my, hopefully someday, future wife. This attitude of “You’re fine just the way you are” may work with women but, not for most men.

[@davidkupiec]

Yep, and in addition to that, many saints have struggled their entire lives to better themselves, to grow in virtue, fight their weaknesses and vise's, etc. So this conversation makes no sense.

[@NathanPK]

I don’t think he’s saying not to change your behavior. It’s more about the desire to change your impulses and desires. As you work on improving yourself, you may hope that one day you’ll finally be rid of laziness or anger, but that’s unlikely. Instead, by grace, you’ll learn to accept those parts of your character and not act on them. When anger arises, you turn to God, rather than trying to beat it back on your own. When laziness delays you, you call on God for strength, rather than feeling like a failure for not having the fortitude all on your own.

[@MM-gu8tk]

I so love this

[@bananapjs]

“My weakness is a near occasion of communion” WOAH! Inverse of a near occasion of sin yet derived from similar places sometimes.

[@ardalwinterborn]

Fear is not something to be free of, but rather do not let it stop you, that is the definition of Bravery. Have faith in the Lord, He has faith in you.

[@michaelanthony4750]

So true.

[@theworldforgot4857]

O JESUS THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNFAILING LOVE WITHOUT YOU I AM NOTHING I'D BE DEAD LORD THANK YOU JESUS FOR LOVING ME AMEN!!!!!!!🙏🏽🤲🏽❤️☝🏽✝️🙌🏽

[@susancundari6984]

So beautiful.

[@ChadGrindstaff]

Great stuff thank you

[@Jordana1917]

Amazing.

[@dillonfritz7991]

This was very intuitive

[@julianpiezas]

Yes yes yes!!!!! 👏

[@FrancescoBorgogni]

this clip is so true, good and beautiful

[@jaggir3508]

Although there is justice in community, it seems to me unjust and imprudent to unload one’s brokenness on someone else or enter a situation where wounds could be opened. Further, it seems nihilistic to just rest in our vices of fear etc.. Our soul must be perfected to enter heaven. While selfish ambition is a sin, this self-satisfaction seems protestant (sola fidet). Any thoughts?

[@vickisanders7368]

I can't ignore the syncronicity of seeing this video today

[@mariocano2767]

And here I thought I was the only one that hated myself for been such a sinner.

[@WestGeorgiaTiger]

Beautiful

[@karencarlisle4754]

God didn't create me to be strong because that would cause me to rely on my own strength. Rather He created me beautifully with weaknesses so that I could lean on Him and His grace.

[@Dallascountryband]

Great clip!

[@studybible]

So, what the Apostle Paul said is found in 2 Corinthians 12:10 "for when I am weak, then am I strong.

[@docgillygun9531]

"A lot of things find their resolution in communion."

[@missy-laneous]

Give Dr. Scott Hahn credit for the jubilee day. He explained how he did that as a father when you interviewed him and used that term.

[@debbie2027]

the last 4 minutes .... .... Also I think people don't understand that in the repetative struggle and pain in falling short, the exercise of perseverence (amongst other virtues) is a swift and hard crushing blow to the head to the darkness and a boon to the triumph of Our Lady's Immaculate Heart' ...

[@michaelanthony4750]

I don't think I would say necessarily stop working on yourself as much as accept your faults and lean into your strengths. I am a person who needs a lot of control to be happy. I used to hate myself for it and give up control of my life to others by not caring about things. I became miserable. Finally one day I decided to lean into it. I stick out like a sore thumb in my family because I get up early and go to bed while they talk or do whatever. I have never been so happy doing something that others would think is miserable. Also I feel like for every personality "problem" there is a benefit. People who analyze things a lot like me have to force themselves to be aggressive. That being said, people who are naturally aggressive have to force themselves to think before acting so they don't do something stupid. There are a lot of tradeoffs that everyone has to make with the personalities that God gave them and you will be much happier accepting the negatives of your personality and leaning into the positives.

[@davidmcpike8359]

"makes you think there is something wrong with you until you are healed" -- right. Surely you should think that?!

[@14Karatgold]

There is a difference between saying, “there’s something wrong with what I did” versus “there’s something wrong with who I am.” Practically speaking, it can sound confusing, but the principal, “God doesn’t wait for me to be perfect to love me” is crucial for avoiding especially dangerous temptations to despair, doubt, distrust, and thinking we can control God. God's love for us is eternal and unchanging. Our actions change *our* hearts, not God's.

[@davidmcpike8359]

@@14Karatgold I wouldn't act wrongly if there wasn't something wrong with who I am. Wrong action follows from wrong being. I am not immaculate, the stain of sin is real and is upon me -- I am not just sinful in the moment when I am actually sinning -- and I will not be fit to enter into his loving presence with that stain because it contradicts his love (hence the necessity of purgation). God's love in itself is eternal and unchanging, but his love in relation to me, you, each individual, is not. My actions don't change God; they do change my relationship with God. Understanding that fact is key to avoiding the sin of presumption (the opposite sin of despair), as well as to making sense (and not making nonsense) of literally all of divine revelation.

[@14Karatgold]

​@@davidmcpike8359You have a valid point: we don’t want to fall into presumption. The effects of original sin run deep in fallen human nature; So maybe there is a difference between being ontologically evil and being essentially wounded. Semantic nuances, I’m not sure are helpful…but the important thing, I guess, is the hope of salvation God offers us - both on the Cross, and every time we fall - is completely unearned and on His own initiative. True, God's mercy isn't cheap; salvation cost Him everything, yet He offers it as a gift. There’s a difference between the presumptuous sinner going into the confessional and a struggling, but stymied saint going into the confessional, and only God can really know the difference. However! I think St. Therese’s genius with trusting in God’s mercy is the intermediate step of recognizing that there were areas that she needed to (and could!) work on…and areas that were “too big” for her to overcome, but not for God’s grace…God’s love for us never changes, but our ability to receive it seems to always be in flux this side of heaven, like the sun shining on different materials. Sometimes it reflects, sometimes it absorbs, some times it melts, sometimes it hardens. Depends on the material and environmental factors. Most definitely, though, I agree, it's a delicate line between Pelagianism and presumption…and for that alone, I hope God is merciful when I’ve misjudged and wobble precariously on that line. Thank God for Confession, right?

[@seth956]

Working on youself is a circular deception because you are the self your attempting to work on. We need an outside agent that knows our situation who has the power to act outside of the contraints of time. If I talk about myself as a separate entity then I become a victim of this separation which leads to an adversarial internal relationship.

[@MovedByBeauty]

❤❤❤

[@stephen1503]

I've listened to this like 4 times now and I love it but I am also trying to process this through the idea of dying to self/picking up your cross. Is it in surrender to Jesus that one dies to self? Have I been taught an over individualized version of death to self that is ironically within itself, selfish? Where communion with my brothers for health, spiritual growth, and healing is a singular process only shared in testimony. Maybe death to self and crucifying the flesh is much less an act of works and virtue and much more an act of true surrender to one's destiny in Christ's body.

[@joshuatrott193]

I had a hard time with this part of the conversation. Where does God promise we will forever be unhealed or set free? The way this sounds is a lot like what Western secular culture is saying. You're great the way you are, don't grow or change, don't desire God to transform you from the inside

[@davidkupiec]

Agreed. This goes directly against most saints' teachings that we should run far away from sin and strive for holiness. Some saints have been famous for incredibly painful and humiliating penances for their sins, and strive with every ounce of our being to grow to be more holy.

[@mycatholicfaithlivingstone845]

I took it as though we are striving in the flesh. But when we totally surrender our weakness to God His grace makes us strong. I just loved this talk. God bless

[@kevinkelly2162]

Secular just means not to do with religion. There is no secular movement or culture.

[@davidkupiec]

​@@mycatholicfaithlivingstone845Except there is no way to tell where grace ends and our input is required. So you are stuck trying to do as best as you can while hoping God's grace is working in you. All while wondering if you are doing enough to cooperate with God's grace. It doesn't feel like there is ever a time to rest and be at peace because we are never sure if we are doing enough to reach heaven.

[@joshuatrott193]

@@davidkupiec amen. Even though we cannot reach perfection, I reject the notion that God doesn't heal our past hurts, I am loving proof that He does

[@Kellso06]

Would this mean you can be in a state of mortal sin and still receive communion? i.e bringing your sin together with Christ. Surely not

[@racheljames7]

That's what bothered me. I don't think Matt meant that at all because he's a faithful Catholic but the way he said it could confuse certain people into thinking that and they'll use it as an excuse to recieve while in a state of mortal sin.

[@9999ozzy]

Would someone link that book "I believe in Love" I can't find it 😫 Thanks in advance

[@samwilt5620]

God’s strength made perfect in our weakness

[@leaf842]

😵 Whoa.

[@sam12587]

It has always been interesting to me that peoples traits are never taken as God intended. Go’s made all of us to be exactly what those around us need, interlocking gears, as long as we don’t fight it.

[@francescaderimini4422]

Emotions have nothing to do with it!

[@natrone79]

2 Cor. 12:7-10

[@anjalo_garcia]

I understand the idea behind this. But with this logic, I should stop studying the Bible and trying to become closer with god to better myself and accomplish what plans god has set out for me. I am currently not as close to god as I would like to be, and if I just say “ oh well, I shouldn’t strive to be better because it’s just masking my hate for myself”, then I would never improve in any category’s of my life.

[@anjalo_garcia]

This is at least my thoughts behind the matter. Love the videos!

[@hermelahailu6921]

Quiet the opposite, if someone thinks they can fix themselves then they are subconsciously saying they don't need healing or God. It's not that you don't work on yourself, they are saying you won't achieve perfection by your work. You still need God's grace and healing. You are saying when I am finally perfect, I take communion when I am without sin. But communion is the healing of our sins, that's why Christ died to heal us and yet you think you can heal without him. I believe that is what they are saying in the video. If you want to rely on your strength and when you always come up short that's when you stop trying. So it's quiet the opposite. But if a person is aware that they won't reach perfection on their own, they finally submit to God. And it's when you are humble that God will work on you, when you ask him to fix you, he will. Self-improvement is essential but it won't be fruitful without asking God's help. Psalms 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain.

[@racheljames7]

​@@hermelahailu6921 I think that's a cop out. Wanting to improve and do better isn't rejecting God.

[@racheljames7]

Exactly. I know for a fact I ought to pray and read the Bible more. Its laziness. That's something I should work on. If anyone told me, "that's just the way you are so just accept it," I'd run a mile from them.

[@hermelahailu6921]

That’s not the point of the video though. Being lazy and thinking you can do everything without God is a completely different thing. I think you are missing the point.

[@davidregner1099]

I think we need to define “working on yourself” here, because I think what Matt says can be very misleading. Sure it’s not good to try to become someone other than yourself, but it’s also not good to stay the same person and not change to become a better version of yourself.

[@tvhead7074]

I personally get this feeling like the Church has something against self-improvement, especially physical self-improvement.

[@davidkupiec]

How do you even define "yourself"? I would argue that if I grew holier, I would definitely be like a different person compared to what I was years ago when I was living an incredibly deliberate sinful life and spiting God.

[@rogaldorn1405]

@@tvhead7074 I think you're mistaken, the body is the temple of the spirit, you got to maintain.

[@tvhead7074]

@@rogaldorn1405 but if it comes down to spending an hour pumping iron or spending an hour in prayer, the Church would say to spend an hour praying. And oftentimes that situation happens with how busy life can be.

[@NathanPK]

I think it’s more about how one achieves change, not by making our sinful natures change, but through grace resisting or catching the impulse before we act on it. God may not take away our desires (that would violate his gift of free will), but through grace we can accept them while still discerning which to act on and which to let pass.

[@esterhudson5104]

Dang. This wins the internet today. 🥹👏👏

[@blessingsuponblessings]

❤

[@batissta44]

"Stop working on yourself" is such a lazy & uninspiring concept. You're working on yourself until the day you die. With God's direction you will be guided and showed what you need to do to work on yourself so you can be the best version of yourself which is self love, not self hatred. How can the answer be never if only God knows the answer?

[@DaveReddy]

Now go workout.

[@caustinolino3687]

What is so relieving about accepting that your problems are incurable? Depression is when all of your problems seem so entrenched there's no point trying to solve them, so just give up. It's bizarre to hear this spoken with a smile and a sigh of relief. I'm guessing this message resonates strongly if you had a parent that told you that you were never good enough? Or you persistently long for some forbidden thing that you beat yourself up over? Otherwise I don't get it and I dont understand the psychological hole that this message is supposed to fill. Confusion about why this keeps being emphasized is alienating to lots of people.

[@johnmcadam7493]

Live the Stoics. Live the Desert Fathers. Everything else are footnotes. " ... When you look at yourself in the mirror, and look deeply into the eyes of the man reflected back at you; and to be loyal to the man that you see, then you will be bold indeed ... Miyamoto Musashi, DOKKODO.

[@caracal82]

Does that mean I can stop ressisting lust and pornography? Cause I will never be free of it?

[@racheljames7]

That's what I don't get. There's a difference between getting back up again when we fall and trying harder the next time... and not working on ourselves at all.

[@FigaroHey]

The idea of giving your kids a "get out of punishment card" comes from Scott Hahn's jubilee days in his family. Nice that over the decades people are doing what Scott Hahn talked sbout decades ago and don't even recall where they got the idea.

[@susanemig972]

Being self- absorbed is the problem. As long as our eyes are in Jesus & his sufficiency, all is well. Apart from him we can do nothing. Apart from him we are nothing. Get over yourself

[@rickybobzamora]

When we "work on ourselves", our gaze is directed inwards and we look up our fallen nature. It's like looking at the imperfection on our faces. We start picking out hairs, putting in the gel or putting on makeup. However, there's a point when we stop picking out hairs. It's hard to know when to stop when it comes to our spiritual nature because we learn through our senses. This is like picking at a zit without a mirror. We pick and pick until we've removed the outer layer of skin. Also, it always feels bigger until we examine the damage in the mirror. All this means is that we ought to know yourself enough to know when to stop grooming. If you don't, you'll end up making mountains out of mole hills and hurting your spiritual life. Also, if your spiritual life is wounded to the point of death (mortal sin), then you'll need to stop trying to fix something that you can't. Jesus will heal you so just ask but you need to be willing to lay in that boring hospital bed for a while so the healing can happen (penance). Grievous wounds ALWAYS need a doctor, boring bed rest, and rehabilitation.

[@Mike_and_Ike-xb3io]

Blessed are the poor in spirit. God uses our weakness to become holy. It is our beggar spirit that keeps use from being prideful. Our success in conquering our weaknesses leads us down a prideful path. It sounds counter-intuitive, but our gravest sins often times is our path to holiness. Read daily about the saints.