Plank Of The Week With Mike Graham | 03-May-24

Watch Plank of The Week with Mike Graham exclusively on KZbin every Friday at 10am, right after Mike's breakfast show on Talk.
Mike Graham is joined by Jeremy Kyle, Maddie Hale, Russell Quirk and Isabel Oakeshott.
Click here for more from TalkTV: talk.tv
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[@talktv]

Should Humza Yousaf win Plank Of The Week?

[@rosemarywoolley8394]

How about plank of the century.

[@winstonschwarz1636]

No. I think he is a much maligned leader who tried to stand up for family values and the oil industry only to be bushwhacked by the lunatic eco-fascist greens.

[@rb1062]

Whitely so!!

[@scottwalker2619]

Yip....

[@davidbarr9343]

White are you talking about?😂🇬🇧

[@JosephineClatworthy]

I’m glad they have kept this going brilliant love plank of the week

[@barbaralucas2375]

There is a growing Party in Scotland…..the Scottish Family Party who advocate morals, truth, integrity, real education and free speech.

[@sandersson2813]

Ha ha ha. That is not a growing party. That's a fringe group of Christian lunatics.

[@raoulmontefiore4803]

They're right wing cranks.

[@alanpearson7554]

Perhaps they can open a branch in England, I'd vote for them!

[@sandersson2813]

@@alanpearson7554 you have to be a lunatic Christian to be a member

[@sandersson2813]

@@alanpearson7554 they're religious

[@paulineivison9973]

Great show once again. Brilliant panel and best presenter on tv. Thank you for the laughs (much needed).

[@time4tea595]

In the adopted country where I now live....as I got so fed up with the UK... People who have benefits here, HAVE to work for the local council picking up litter, painting,ect...for 6 months... otherwise their benefit s are STOPPED. ALL HAVE TO DO IT, NO EXCEPTIONS....

[@davidbarr9343]

And your point is? Also, what is your adopted country and have you given up your UK passport and citizenship?

[@kevendapson3933]

@@davidbarr9343 You carnt see his point? WOW!!

[@halley4032]

@@kevendapson3933 You beat me to it .... he sounds a right plank !

[@kevendapson3933]

@@halley4032 Deffo, a right wankspangle!

[@annemcniell6956]

Sounds like Norway.

[@jdog2345]

Watching from abroad, congratulations Scotland 🎉🇨🇦

[@andymac345]

Probably too little too late. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@christopherclayton4301]

I am very pleased to see the return of Russell Quirke

[@cgmc70]

Your personal stories are hilarious 😂 you show kindness & empathy as well as good common sense !!!!! Watching from Vancouver 🇨🇦 EVERY week , waiting esp for YOUR SHOW!!!!!!!!! 🥰❤️🥲☹️

[@theforceiswithme8804]

Great show! One of your best! Remember to invite these panel-members back often!!!

[@Darkminds-pw9uy]

My son is at Portsmouth uni and he and his friends can't abide these rich kids who have never lived through hardship or had any real conversation s about history of politics. As a single mother I'm so proud of the deep and Frank debates we have had since he was quite young. He applied for his uni position, wrote his own application essay, applied for his loan and sorts out his accommodation each year as well as holding down a job around his lectures. He certainly doesn't have the time to have meltdowns on the street supporting the ethnic cleansing of jews! And he also doesn't have the luxury of knowing that if he misses his opportunity of a uni education he will have wealthy parents who will bail him out. Rich kids today have no substance.

[@rab1962]

Watched this two days after aired. Biggest concern for me is 40% turnout for mayoral election in London. This country is doomed because no one to vote for who represents the UK individuals who work & pay taxes. However when will people realise that not voting in NOT the way forward.

[@Pawsforthought222]

,👍100%

[@alansalter1836]

Mike Graham brilliant 👏👏

[@brierwood11]

You've got an early contender for next week. The London public voting that numpty in,yet again,for mayor.

[@kruger-3522]

Humza Useless was a "good guy" just like Harold Shipman was a "good doctor" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[@ILikeWhiteUK]

Nice one Mike, a real star show..... Jezza , go easy on the coffee mate.

[@cindyfaulkner5725]

The first civil servants to go should be those refusing to return to yhe office because they want to work from home.

[@shivaunt71]

Unfortunately they run whatever government happens to be in 'charge'..

[@annemcniell6956]

They probably can’t afford the ulez.

[@Fazzer57]

And that would include the heir apparent Prince Bulliam who does a couple of ribbon cutting venues a week but has stated he's working from home. How many £ millions are we tax payers paying for this over privileged, lazy bone idle twat. Get rid of the royals and use the money for our failing NHS.

[@philiphughes4117]

He got sworn in in his native tongue Urdu as First Minister. Should have resigned in Urdu too .

[@davidbarr9343]

But Scotland is the only country he has called home......despite having a foreign passport. He should Urdu off.😂

[@orangefield100]

And worn his Pakistani outfit.

[@katebuckseall1414]

Except Sadiq Khan, Rishi Sunak, rhe Starmer, Mark Rowley, Police Commissioner, Archbishop Welby and MM alongside Hazbeen

[@johnbannister9212]

True. Spoilt for choice really. Well done UK.

[@kayla-Rey22]

You forgot Daniel Radcliffe. Oh, and Gary Lineker.

[@christopherbrowne736]

No. Not Rishi. He’s a man who we should admire and support. The others - I agree.

[@GMN360]

My great, great grandmother was transported to Van Diemen’s Land in 1842, aged 18. Departed from Woolwich. Poor little girl. But she did alright, a free settler married her and they built a good Christian life, interacted in society and all of their surviving children did well.

[@albertarthurparsnips5141]

What did the poor thing do !? Pinch a hanky ? A loaf of bread ?

[@GMN360]

@@albertarthurparsnips5141 no, extortion, acknowledged by the judge that she was set up by the bailiff who took a larger part of the extorted money but she went along with the dastardly deed so she was given 15 years.

[@albertarthurparsnips5141]

@@GMN360 Bloody disgraceful ! Poor thing !

[@GMN360]

@@albertarthurparsnips5141 that’s the way it was! Look at what is happening in our time, right here and now. We don’t learn, we don’t move forward.

[@JanetLong-x7t]

Love plank of the week ..

[@rb1062]

I don't think anyone can compete with Mr Useless.

[@davidbarr9343]

Careful, pronouns matter in Scotland.😂

[@Lindsay-t2e]

Kan

[@roybarnett1055]

Wonderful panel tonight

[@gregoryfrancisjames5071]

The scooter incident reminds me of Neil Kinnock in the surf. The following election didn't go well for him either.

[@sophiemaya3153]

Yes, me too. So funny.

[@EdwardLowe-qv6yk]

I hope it was sore 🫥

[@christinerussell113]

That surf incident actually proved a lucky event for Kinnock and his family, turning them into millionaires. Having for years been a dedicated anti EU politician, like most of the old Labour Party, but then, failing to win over the British public, he had to find another, more lucrative position in public life. Thus, Kinnock jumped onto the gravy train of that organisation, becoming a committed EU advocate. He and his whole family becoming very rich in the process.

[@gregoryfrancisjames5071]

True.

[@albertarthurparsnips5141]

Or Howard Dean in the USA, with the ‘scream’ that had the media in a frenzy ! 😂

[@sandersson2813]

Glad POTW is still going with the revamp. Return to what Talktv was before linear TV is a massive improvement.

[@KM-zm2kd]

Fantastic show this week.

[@cindyfaulkner5725]

Just for those students who don't know which river or sea it is the river Jordan and the Mediterranean sea

[@nioengland]

A genuine contender for plank of the year.. we are only 5 months in and the field is already full FAFO Forever

[@Debbiecooke-ls1ss]

Humzas family, benefitted I'm many ways during the time he was at the top. Money sent to Gaza and many expensive projects started in Scotland. So although he's leaving, he has benefitted for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, us the taxpayer has paid for him and his families riches and continue this. Why should our taxes be spent like this but our state has nothing.

[@funnypetsspencer6069]

I know people who sign on with mental health and work on the side they just put an act on when they go to the Doctors.

[@MarkSmithSa]

Great to see that Maddie Hale is now British. She's exactly the kind of beautiful women that the country wants.

[@lindageorge8209]

If you open a door for me I will say thank you. If I am opening a door for you and I see you behind me, I will hold the door open for you.

[@patlittler3411]

If that happened to me I’d be in court charged with assault and the door would be exhibit A

[@katryna192]

I got divorced at 40 no money was a domestic violence situation, had 5 kids but 2 what under 16, went into a home tried to get help with new housing, i got 200 hundred pounds, got told off dhss, if you where coming from another country i would get a lot more help

[@trevorflarty1811]

Great talk,&banter !love it!!

[@alastairgordon-forbes3139]

Oh dear, after last weeks vast improvement we are back to everyone talking over each other. A cacophony of sound. Great guests, great candidates for Plank of the Week but please tone it down a bit.

[@malcolmball2829]

I could watch Useless on a Scooter for ever...Brilliant

[@jenlee4354]

Please put the headings up TALK when panelists are nominating their plank. So we can see correct name and pic ……

[@liamallan3700]

In soviet Scotland we can't complain

[@c.t5136]

I'm not happy paying council tax when theya re doing nothing! Including, cleaning the streets, fining litter droppers and picking up rubbish.

[@shivaunt71]

Don't forget the potholes...

[@stirlingmoss9637]

What about funding our useless police

[@LeeGordon-fp9zf]

​@@stirlingmoss9637It's not the police Its ppl voting for criminal rights.

[@maureenwood2752]

Absolutely brilliant

[@johnbannister9212]

Outright winner, no challengers. Now there's just the question of fixing the destruction he's left behind.

[@davidbarr9343]

Don't vote SNP...simples.😊

[@cindyfaulkner5725]

If the job centre was more like a employment agency and help people back into work and had temporary jobs available, going in as a temp helps many people to get into a full-time job. The Government also needs to ban zero contracts and liw hour contracts and the expect staff to work full-time but with no guaranteed hours or even a guarantee of having any work on a reguler basis.

[@cindyfaulkner5725]

There was a video of a girl being asked why she was there, her reply was she didn't know she had just been told to come, she then turned to her friend and said do you know why were here she couldn't ansswer the question either

[@rb1062]

Many students are so thick. I listened to one being interviewed by Alex Phillips this morning. Cringeworthy!

[@Worldsamess2024]

Humza putting a photo out of his kid, was for a sympathy vote only!

[@simchalebovitch6944]

Teaching ones children this is child abuse.

[@davidbarr9343]

🤔

[@missasinenomine]

I agree.

[@saffronsolo9668]

You forgot that Useless is a huge racist.

[@andymac345]

A four wheeler scooter, says everything.

[@loopylisful]

I thought that was Paul Burrell on the panel for a second. Couldn’t understand why he was there 😂

[@lindageorge8209]

This is where councils usually hide behind the fact that this other person is going to cost the ratepayers money. Will number one they cannot bully a person and then expect to be immune from prosecution and number two that is the cost of democracy. So don't do the crime if you can't pay the time or the fine.

[@stevenharrison9257]

They're correct about not assuming that a woman is pregnant; about 60 years ago, my mum saw a woman in the village & asked her, "When are you due?" The reply was, "You cheeky b*tch!" The woman was always a very large lady who had many children & it was impossible to tell whether she was pregnant (or not).

[@pamelahunter8659]

Fantastic show as always.

[@mrdunns3338]

Did you have to show that speech by useless again? I threw up my breakfast wtaching that. Thanks a bunch.

[@daverussell123]

We need independence, From the SNP

[@normanmacpherson]

To get a job you need to be woke, to get promoted you need to be woke. Once you are in a managerial position you then employ and promote woke individuals, vicious circle.

[@berniebolder8939]

Best thing on tv

[@susanhodge5608]

He should be locked up in his own cellar.

[@staffagirl]

Normal service has resumed…..thank goodness

[@richardfox6595]

Maddie is a bit wrong about the Australian system. Turnbull didn't replace elected Abbott because the electorate wanted that. Abbott was guilty of the crime of doing what he said he'd do and the things people voted for him to do.

[@lindageorge8209]

Kamala is only vice President ( president in charge of vice as we used to say at Sydney girls' High School) but we won't of that against our Aussie lady there! You may remember that prime minister Robert Muldoon said that every time a New Zealander goes to Australia, it raises the IQ of both. Now, tell me, how could you leave this beautiful country? Or is it just because we have Albo. Will you come back when Albo's gone? My first fleeter forebear was the medic on one of the smaller boats. He's an original boat people! He was also in charge of the women's hospital. Also, there were some classic convict artists. Forgers, etc. One of the convicts designed some great buildings in Sydney. Francis Greenway...

[@albertarthurparsnips5141]

The posh ones who got banged up mostly did rather well for themselves indeed. Particularly the REAL toffs like the Irish insurgent leader, William Smith O’Brien,..his own rather impressive house all to himself down at Port Arthur !…

[@OldManGooch]

If there's a job there for the benefit claimant to do in exchange for their benefits... then there's also a job available that should be paid properly... no??

[@andymac345]

Frizzle, or however it’s spelled, capital punishment is barely enough. 😡

[@avonrangemaster]

Bit of a Neil Pillock moment when he fell off scooter..Neil Kinnock thought he’d be King Canute and hold back the sea until he tripped and fell over into wave!😂😂😂👀🦕

[@Dilbert-o5k]

The whole country suffered for him

[@synthmaker]

He said "There's a rule that someone from Rwanda won't be sent back to Rwanda and Congo is not Rwanda is it?" makes complete sense to me. It's not a good answer but it doesn't show a lack of knowledge of Geography.

[@paulywhit2783]

Mike has actually forgot Liz Truss went through the full selection mps then the Conserative party members but of course she beat Sanak And the bankers couldn’t not have their candidate so she was got rid of

[@michmunroe.9196]

I would like to donate a hairbrush to the lady from Columbia University 🥴🤣🤣

[@mgangel2679]

Can you have a glass of water? Sure just go home and use the tap.

[@Lesley-Ann2018sux]

Ive been diagnosed with ptsd. GAD aggoraphobia ocd and last week i got another few initials threw at me. ADHD. So that's nice and a need a second opinion

[@davidbarr9343]

Thrown and I. Plus, you obviously don't like apostrophes.

[@Lesley-Ann2018sux]

@@davidbarr9343 Didn't realise it was an English exam I was sitting, sir. But blame google. My phone highlights things that need corrected, all I do is press where the green line is. I'll let them know your not happy with their results.

[@Lesley-Ann2018sux]

@davidbarr9343 Sorry, Sir. I shall take more care on my next English exam. Also, you may want to get in touch with Samsung or Google or whatever corrects the sentence you write. They underline your mistake, and you press it it gets corrected. Obviously, it's not correct enough for you, though. Also I'm scottish, how I wrote it is how I speak it. I would imagine a lot of people write/type that way. Like for example, Americans say y'all. Scots say yous.

[@NannyFlo]

Great guests this episode 😂👏

[@scottwalker2619]

Maddie..... Just gorgeous....😍

[@albertarthurparsnips5141]

She’s a bit of a knock out, isn’t she ? That country is full of birds who look like her, too. But ! She DOES need to both pay MUCH more attention to the news in the UK, and, read up a LOT on British history / politics. If anyone might make a reference to, say, Tony Benn or Dennis Skinner, she’d have not the foggiest.

[@Stevewood137]

Was Humza Useless doing a very bad impression of Gerard Butler during his resignation speech?

[@lindageorge8209]

In New Zealand there's a good industry of people doing community service, and people running businesses supervising them to get paid by the government. They clean up around the hospital, especially around the signs that say no smoking, where everybody stands and smokes. However I do not believe in community service when the community has to set aside time and money earning capabilities to supervise these people doing community service. In New Zealand the naughty kids get free education and the good kids who are on the free education spot as well also get to do community service with the bad ones. It helps if they have a Maori supervisor cause no one's going to give them schtick!

[@bcoxal]

Hummus Useless

[@Armstrong81]

HAMAS USELESS

[@woodand]

all hail Maddie Hale ..

[@christophersimmons4179]

Have a big picnic on the quad outside

[@MrTangolizard]

I don’t think it’s the end of the world that he didn’t know they were at war with each other

[@kerriferguson2023]

Sounds like Humphrey Appleby is still running the Home Office! 😆

[@Armstrong81]

HE DESERVES PLANK OF THE CENTURY 😂

[@alanpearson7554]

Almost every media account shows your preferred pro-nouns, I'm a man and expect to be treated as such but on my Linked in account it shows my preferred pronouns. I've given my seat and held open doors for ladies and when questioned I always add "I'm doing it for me not necessarily for you".

[@gstar3569]

Scotland the Brave… and don’t you forget it! We will send them homeward to think again!

[@Angela-cc1hd]

Why has this been taken off TV as the online show you cannot now make comments😮 and it keeps going off😮

[@lindageorge8209]

Apparently Fritzl is 89 now.

[@hilarywinfield6633]

Evil, twisted monster, may he rot in hell for the damage he's done to his poor daughter & her children.

[@brendagore1115]

Jemery dont shout its not your show have to turn down the sound when he is on

[@maninst7145]

He's just a plank, Mike!!!

[@sparkiefire8525]

A bunch of class acts nominated again on the plank front, great show again !!! 😂😂

[@johnanthonygray5425]

Can uk pensioner's apply to go to Rwanda ?

[@lisalovell5490]

First time in fifty years I turned dr who off , since when has dr who been terrified of any one and when did the assistant have to be more brave than the dr ! Too woke for me , won’t be watching again till it changes . Can’t believe I’m saying that Turned into a musical !

[@MrCarol666]

Enter building or go to shop and buy it

[@Hertfordshire247]

I was hoping with Talk T.V. Going back to its roots, so would "Plank Of The Week" (small set, only 2 people).

[@annanikia7949]

How is Drew Barrymore still on television. She is so out of her mind!😱

[@Misterman924]

What’s the bets the kidnapper will get rights and access to his kids

[@ralphdavidson9542]

I normally love Plank but if there's one intelligent person around the News UK building can they please tell everyone that Chris whatever on QT was obviously 1. Being rhetorical and 2. Struggled a bit to understand the beginning of the question from a man who mumbled quite badly.

[@nanunanu8745]

Jez needs to stop cutting people off

[@naggarwal67]

After the genocide in Rwanda, just jogging the collective memory here, army members from DRC crossed over and set alight school girls in a dorm for not separating themselves along tribal Lines. And you say Rwanda is the bad guy? Really? None of these conflicts are black And white and there is no denying that the conflicts are Supported and fueled by external forces.

[@chrismiller6317]

Mike it’s normal because it takes place in the biggest nuthouse in the world AKA the USA Great Show as always👍👍👏👏

[@valansley]

Sounds like CLUB RWANDA is a good deal 😮

[@slowpete1]

The world has become a mad house for insane toss pots

[@annemcniell6956]

The home office people are mainly bame.

[@lenwilkinson672]

Humanitarian aid. = Kalashnikov.

[@ianwilliam3811]

Great show but guys, do let the women speak!

[@lindageorge8209]

A friend of mine, female, used to do a clown show. She called herself Miss Fitt... I'm sure she'd have made a great drag queen impersonator. Ps, she was a person with a uterus. had two sons...