Player Begs to RP Tragic Backstory, Makes DM Uncomfortable

Nah man wtf going in D&D? trauma dump player go on tragic backstory rampage
Join the Discord! / discord
Submit Your Story! / critcrab
Support me on Patreon! / critcrab
Follow me on Twitter! / crabcrit
MERCH! teespring.com/stores/critcrab...

[@kyleoates6367]

Player: "Will there be sexual themes?" DM: "Yes" Wrong answer DM, the correct answer is "why?" Once they tell you why, then you can say yes or no.

[@Leig5H0T]

Yeah actually

[@DarkPascual]

My default answer is actually "No", there is just too many horror stories about how sexual themes get from awkward to creepy really fast that I rather not deal with it. I'm pretty sure that there are DMs skillful enough to make it work, but I'm not one of them.

[@WhyYouMadBoi]

DM: Yes I am confortable with it and I am sure you are as well seeing how you asked it. If you aren't comfortable that is ok. Because once you put sexual themes in you the DM already set boundaries.

[@unluckyone1655]

Hey, it's possible to include sexual themes while maintaining boundaries. Say that this this and this is ok, but THAT is not ok, and THIS will result in an automatic removal from the table

[@boyvol6428]

Yes but only with "fade to black" approach.

[@djn6962]

I once had a dude that wanted to play a female that had been repeatedly raped in her backstory, by many men, including family… I was of course appalled, but out of curiosity, I asked if he would consider playing a male character instead, as it may be easier to roleplay (since he was a big burly dude) and immerse ourselves. He agreed to play a male, until I insisted he keep the backstory the same, then he said “that backstory only works with a female character.” At which point I removed him from the game ha ha ha.

[@CritCrab]

WTF MAN THATS AWFUL

[@theshinypeliper8813]

Is it bad that I snorted from shock at that last line?

[@djn6962]

@@theshinypeliper8813 my delivery may have been a little nonchalant, so I could see it blindsiding some who aren’t ready haha.

[@DestroyTheWokeBrainrot]

BRUH

[@GothKatt]

That last bit, jeez. Those are some disgustingly common warped perceptions of gender, right there, ugh.

[@Aziara86]

As someone with a history of trauma (nothing like this tho), I find I make my character have what I *didn't* have: a loving supportive family, a peaceful upbringing, and good role models.

[@kiyavi]

💯💯💯

[@michaelbaker3868]

Yea because you went thru trauma and its usually traumatizing or triggering to bring it up which is typically the proof that the people in these stories haven't actually gone thru the shit they put their characters thru. I hate to bring up critical role with its bas stigma but it reminds me of a character from their second campaign called Caleb a wizard who had a tragic back story that was never mentioned until he had to share a secret to get a fellow player to help him get into a area he wouldn't has access but needed to get Into to become stronger. And was like 20 sessions in before it was ever brought up and only two other players were allowed to sit at the table and hear it as one character was like a motherly character to him that hadn't been told tj4 story and he felt it wouldn't be right to tell this person who he hasn't known long when his closest friend and companion didn't know. It was beautifully tragic and sad and made me love the character even more.

[@Densoro]

There's value in both approaches. If Abuse is your personal dragon, you might write about slaying that dragon, or simply _not having to live in that dragon's shadow in the first place._ Neither of these is inherently wrong. It's about _how_ you approach it.

[@CassetteGlitch]

@@michaelbaker3868 Trauma isn't black and white like this. Just because you talk about it doesn't mean you're faking your trauma, and that is a very dangerous misconception to have. Some of us are very open about what happened, specifically to combat the stigma that victims go through. Talking about it yourself may not be triggering because you *know* that you are going to talk about it : You have control over the situation, and you're already aware of what's going to be said. A lot of triggers are triggering because they are *unexpected* reminders. This is usually even more so the case in fiction, because it's all fake. Of course, it varies from person to person, and some people will find that they get triggered even when they expect to be exposed to a reminder. Trauma is different in every victim, and pretending that there is a "right" way to be traumatized only furthers the stigma and pressure against victims, making them feel like they have to be silent. If you are going to engage with this topic in the future, please do some research!

[@scoutbane1651]

@@michaelbaker3868 There's people who survive trauma and don't ever want to mention it again, there's people who deal with it by telling to everyone else, and there's people who don't deal with it and inflict possibly even worse trauma on others. There's a billion different ways to experience trauma and your misconceptions about it are incredibly insulting to everyone who doesn't deal with it in the one specific way you imagine it dealt with. I myself don't talk about the specifics of my SA much but there are 10000000% people who do and have lived through it. I wanted to use harsher words on you at first, but I get you probably just don't know better. But please don't talk on topics you clearly don't know enough about with such undue confidence and make definitive statements like the ones you've made.

[@Densoro]

Without dumping _my shit:_ I relate to Pink on a personal level. However, I _also_ think recovery means learning about consent, including other people's. You have to know your audience. Rather than bringing my trauma dump character to group games, I RP her with my significant other (not ERP, just 'hey I'm hurting, are you up to explore this feeling with me?'). My SO does the same. Despite establishing this rapport, we also _ask every time, IC or OOC,_ "Hey, are you mentally solid enough for me to get into this right now?" Sometimes the answer is no and we accept it graciously. Unfortunately, I can see the miscommunication that happened here. Pink dipped her toe into the pond and waited for DM to react before going further. DM okayed phase one, so she thought it was safe to proceed. She dumped the whole mf. DM only read halfway before going 'uhhh sure' so Pink thought she had consent. Consent can of course be retracted at any time, and DM clearly did not consent to RPing this kind of villain but still, the way this went down, Pink must feel like 'yes' doesn't actually mean 'yes' and feel like an idiot for trusting and opening up to people. I don't think there's a strict Bad Guy in this story, just clashing needs without proper outlets. I agree with OP: I hope she gets what she needs. idk where these folks live, but as an American, letting the trauma fester unfortunately isn't always our choice. I couldn't get health insurance until I was pushing 30. For 25 years, I begged for _some sort of professional help that didn't cost as much as a house,_ wrote my cries for help into my assignments at school and somehow never got sent to the counselor's office (not that the school counselor would've known wtf to do, but still). I think this is a glimpse into what happens when you put a paywall in front of people getting their shit taken care of.

[@VadBlackwood]

The solution you came up with you SO is really wholesome. Respect.

[@shirendjorgee9320]

Yeah, I think something people are missing in the trauma dumping discussion is that the majority of people do not have access to professional help, either due to financial or societal constraints. Even outside the money issue, some people are minors who live in households that wouldn’t allow them to go into therapy, or they live in countries where therapy is not easily available or normalized. I agree that trauma dumping is bad, but it’s so reductive that people just say ‘please get therapy’ when trauma dumping is a symptom of the fact we live in a world where a lot of people can’t get proper health care even in developing countries, let alone mental healthcare.

[@scoutbane1651]

@@shirendjorgee9320 100%. As someone who's fought for years to get into therapy and still only gets it once every 2 months, from overworked psych professionals in the balkans. I don't know what the fuck else more I can do. I used to traumadump a lot because I literally didn't get it's not socially acceptable. I'm on the spectrum and pretty mentally ill so I just took every opportunity I could to decompress, since therapy, the thing that's supposed to help you with that, was so hard to get. I don't do that anymore since I've realized how damaging it is to my relationships with people. But even now, one 45 minute session where 1/2 of it is talking about the effects of my changed pills and catching up on what has happened, it's not *nearly* enough. I'm trying my best to improve as a person, I'm trying to work on myself as much as I'm capable by myself too. But with so little professional help I'm just kind of boned, and most people just kind of dismiss that as it being my own issue despite me fighting for getting as much help as I can, and to the best of my ability working on it on my own. I get there's people who genuinely just don't work on this shit and change for the better, but I feel like a large chunk of society sees every mentally ill person like that, when that is very much not the case and psychiatric help is just incredibly inaccessible to most humans alive rn. Couple that with a lot of mentally ill people being literally trapped in toxic environments (abusive relationships, abusive households for minors etc.), and it's no wonder we get stories like these.

[@Densoro]

@@scoutbane1651 Holy shit dude, here I thought an hour of therapy twice a month was sparse. Having to wait two whole months between such short sessions is brutal ): I hope services over there improve so they can meet your needs better. I completely know what you mean. At every job I've ever had, there's been some type-A straight-A person who does everything right and thinks I'm out here making mistakes on purpose or because I'm lazy. It's like, 'I'm sorry, apparently when you develop PTSD at age 5, it damages the part of your brain that stores memories for the rest of your life. This is what _trying as hard as I can_ looks like for me.' I worked on myself in terms of like...being thoughtful, considerate, and emotionally healthy, but that's _time-consuming,_ and jobs don't want you to take your time they want you to rush and crank out _more and more and more productivity now now now now now._ It's like, the thing I worked the hardest on is completely irrelevant.

[@scoutbane1651]

@@Densoro Eyyyup. I still feel for you, it sounds tough and I'm sorry that you're going through so much. I really hope things improve for you too. Know that there are many of us going through similar fights, and if broader society isn't particularly kind to us at least we can be to one another

[@GamingwolfZJ]

After hearing the bit that had to make even the mighty crab sit back in his seat and think about life for half a week, there’s only one question I have for this person: “Who hurt you, and do you need medical attention?”

[@kenpokid10]

That's sort of two questions, but because of the severity of this situation I'll allow it

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

I believe the answer is "yes".

[@brighterphantom4530]

More than likely.

[@user-fw7oc3vy7s]

Holy. Freaking. Crab! (That's a joke, but I can tell where this going.) Am I the "jerk" for even reading this...?

[@user-fw7oc3vy7s]

Edit: apparently no, but this backstory just feel a little (ok a LOT) like something a trauma victim would use as "therapy"...

[@unluckyone1655]

Man, Pink needs therapy, not DnD. I mean rpgs can be therapeutic, but no, this girl needs straight up professional help. There's telling people about your trauma, then there's straight up slitting your throat and spraying it all over anyone who is standing in the splash zone

[@caspercascade4623]

Makes me wonder if there's any therapists who use TTRPGS in treatment. Kind of like play therapy, I guess.

[@unluckyone1655]

@@caspercascade4623 I believe I have heard of it in some long term therapies. I have heard of therepists using video games in their therapy regimens

[@augustaseptemberova5664]

@@unluckyone1655 Yea, but not for trauma therapy in itself, but as a skill to calm yourself down and to replace a harmful coping mechanism, like cutting, with a more harmless one. Things like video games are usually a makeshift. Because a good replacement coping-skill would be one that is available and socially acceptible anywhere you are so that you can use it anywhere you are - but you couldn't start playing a video game in the middle of a funeral that makes you upset, if you know what I mean. Usually role-playing in therapy involves actual people and natural unscripted responses, and is a means of teaching you healthy communication and boundaries, to express yourself and regulate your feelings, and achieve a helpful outcome. If in therapy, role-playing or something else triggers a traumatic experience, the therapist won't encourage or even tolerate it to "just play out". They will use techniques to drag the person back in reality and in the present, and out of the experience. The ultimate goal is to turn the traumatic experience into a memory like any other memory, by stopping you from reliving that memory. Allowing someone to relive it, is what prevents it from becoming a regular memory.

[@unluckyone1655]

@@augustaseptemberova5664 it honestly makes sense for ttrpgs to be used in therapy. It seems to map almost perfectly with therapy that helps temporary sort of suspend reality for a bit to make trauma a bit easier to navigate and process. But yeah, in therapy it would have to be with a trained professional familiar with those techniques. Expecting strangers or acquaintances to do this will often put a huge burden on them and likely make things worse for the person in crisis

[@Drachnyen07]

I dm a curse of strahd game, and my last session ended with: killing and chopping off Izeks arm, had a pp fight amongst 3 players and a monke, tried to find a tavern keepers daughter who didn’t exist, and destroyed a shelf trying to flirt with the shop owner who was a burly bald man, mistaking them for a woman

[@sirpotatolord2219]

you should have just let it play out all the way to the bedroom where they would be in for a rude awakening

[@joelrobinson5457]

Peak dnd

[@BlinkingEldrichRoses]

Yeah that sounds like a dnd session

[@goldenphoenix727]

Mine ended becausrle the turtle Saladin said chill to strand at bbq lvl 3

[@Drachnyen07]

@@sirpotatolord2219 that would work, but not for them. It’s like putting every animal in Australia, and every Florida man, and made them fight. First they would fight, but then they fight, love, breed, and conquer, and I am too scared to see that

[@InuDemon]

The faster some of these players understand, "just because you can handle it just fine, doesn't mean everyone else can", the better the experience will be.

[@superiorrule34]

Honestly doesn’t sound like pink is handling it find.

[@legenddarkrai]

It may have also been a case of the player just forgetting that their own experiences are extremely awful. I mean, myself along with several of my friends, were raised in a toxic environment where we were lead to believe that suicidal thoughts and the like were something that *everybody* had, among many, many other things. But it was shock to each of us when we eventually found out that in fact, no, it's not normal, paranoia and flashbacks to traumatic events and etc are not normal, and not everybody even knows about it, let alone experiences it themselves. But who knows

[@SlaveDanLevi]

I RP extreme dark themes with other people in writing because of severe personal trauma, and my therapist approves of it so long I recognize when it becomes too much for me and I can step back in time. The key is... wait for it....... having partners who are comfortable and consent to write these things with you. Do not just drop things on random people.

[@MD-fv3gp]

when i heard "RP trama" I thought like "Get sad around this place, this sword reminds you of your dad" NOT THAT, NOT THAT AT ALL

[@Densoro]

I’ve had this comment stuck in my head all month and I have to ask, is that quote a reference? It sounds like it could be a song xD

[@Ducksalesman]

It's horrifying

[@Dumbdog124]

Gonna fully out myself here but I feel like I need to say this. Sexual DND is fine, with the caveat being that it has to be treated as a real life sexual act in terms of consent. E.g. if you just unzip your pants at the table don't be surprised when you get slapped with indecent exposure. So when you go into a normal dnd game and suddenly try to talk about the details of your hijinks with the bar maid don't be surprised when you make people upset. You can be furry, weeb, a nympho, whatever. But the only time this becomes an issue is when you fail to properly establish consent, or cross lines in the sand

[@tymoore2117]

This exactly

[@Jarethenator]

Overall a minor thing, but OP sending out a message telling everyone to be adults…which didn’t get responses…yeeeeah, I don’t think that was the right move. They say it was because it was late, but it’s not hard to imagine how that phrasing could rub people the wrong way. Further, it being sent to everyone makes everyone think they might be the one getting called out and/or speculate on who is the focus of that statement.

[@nykcarnsew2238]

Especially since OP was putting it out as a way to avoid directly talking to Pink about their issues, the exact form of childishness they were telling the group not to engage in

[@Bala_Niranna]

im honestly just. deeply worried about that girl. i hope she gets help on a lighter note the closest thing i have to a self insert character is a changeling named Am, who lives 90% of the time as different personas and spends all her time writing characters and fleshing out rich stories for them. which...yeahhh..

[@blazaybla22]

So basically Roger from American Dad

[@aetherius6221]

I love dark themed campaigns, and the games I play in, characters I play, and the games I DM, all usually have heavy dark and even gruesome themes. My favorite campaign so far is COS. My favorite character has a disgusting wound that debilitated her physically. The games I DM usually have gruesome scenes, horrifying moments and dark themes. Violent death, gore and human suffering all feature heavily, but... I still never feature sexual assault in anything. It's a line you have to be extremely careful about crossing, and talk to all the other players openly before featuring it even referentially. If players at your table start to get into it without warning, pause the game and take them aside to talk about it. Stay safe friends!

[@nasir6r996]

"Role-playing games are *NOT* therapy." -Mage: The Ascension 20th anniversary corebook when explaining what role-playing games are and are not

[@user-tl6jr2ez7s]

I believe Vampire: the Masquerade 5E has the same statement somewhere too

[@Mephiston]

To hell with anyone that says RPGs are not some form of therapy. They're not a replacement for a psychotherapist, no, but it allows us to explore facets of our own personalities. They are therapeutic.

[@gameygeemer4142]

M20. The core book that has everything except a simple to understand explanation for what the mechanics actually are

[@alibunny3982]

@@Mephiston but there’s a difference between therapeutic and being actual therapy. Especially if the people participating aren’t trained mental health professionals ttrpgs are not therapy, they can be used to help explore themes or plots that might make you feel catharsis, but they are not inherently therapy tools. Again, especially when it’s with people who are not equip to or consenting to have the rp be therapy.

[@Mephiston]

@@alibunny3982 Yes I am aware, hence why I said its not a replacement for a psychotherapist. Here's what I said in another comment: "I'm not quite sold on the personal trauma of pink. She definitely has a personality disorder, but unfortunately some of them cause the person to severely exaggerate or even outright lie in order to get attention, and will absolutely make shit up like this in a misguided attempt to try and "emotionally endear" people to them, through what is effectively their own form of emotional abuse. The OP is correct about d&d not being a replacement for a psychotherapist, but you're both wrong in that d&d cannot or should not be used therapeutically. I myself am part of several d&d groups that are for people with disabilities (we have people who are autistic, people who have severe mental illnesses, people with physical disabilities, and so on. IF your DM is trained to handle these topics, then it can absolutely be a good supplemental tool to help someone work through their disabilities, but again it MUST be paired with psychotherapy. I get that it is a very specific set of circumstances and skills that are needed, but to outright say that it shouldn't be used that way is just flat wrong. " So basically I'm well aware of the distinction, but I will not be convinced otherwise that it can be a legitimate form of therapeutic tool, because in my experience as well as the experiences of those in my regional disability community who do engage in these things, they are a remarkable help, again, PROVIDED THAT YOU HAVE A TRAINED THERAPIST OR PSYCHOSOCIAL RECOVERY COACH OVERSEEING THE GROUP.

[@DerpsWithWolves]

So, I have a little mental health training with regards to at least identifying the behavior of abused persons, and I would 100% recommend her for review and counseling... Hypersexuality such as "I seduce every character" is, amongst many other things, one of the possible responses to childhood sexual abuse. Some might see it as a way to regain ownership over that part of themselves, by embracing it, but it's not exactly a healthy coping mechanism as you can imagine - and can lead to further abuse. The rest rings pretty true as an attempt to vocalize and objectify their past experiences, by project them onto a characterized fictional version of themselves. They are, in a way, trying to give themselves therapy, but by forcing their experiences onto people who are neither consenting nor trained to deal with it they're only succeeding in pushing people away who are unable to respond in the way she needs. Having said that, it's still better that she'd doing this with D&D than *actually* going out and behaving like this with people in person - but it's also entirely possible she is, or will do that as well. This places her at more risk, physically and mentally, as a vulnerable person especially in regards to mental stress, sexual violence, and addiction. I do hope she gets treatment. Perhaps, if actually paired with someone trained, role playing games could even be used as a method of therapy, but that approach is up to the capabilities and diagnosis of her medical provider - which I am not.

[@adambooth7755]

As someone who has worked in the mental health field, I agree with you. This does seem like she's desperately trying to find a healthier outlet than engaging in the acts in real life. She did openly acknowledge she does this because "it's the only way I get validation" seems to me to be her showing self-awareness that she just needs someone in her life to acknowledge what happened to her was wrong and not her fault. The fact that she's not getting that could mean, unfortunately the traditional supports around her (ie family or friends) are either involved in the abuse or otherwise victim blaming her. Hopefully she finds some healthier supports. To Pink or anyone reading this, if you need to talk to someone about trauma because nobody is believing you, but can't afford treatment, as a starting point, I would say try a crisis line. Most are free (except for any applicable phone bill charges from your carrier), and while they aren't the best equipped long-term to help you process trauma they should be able to be a support that can hear and support you in a way that's healthier than re-enacting your trauma in a game.

[@FaolanHart]

That was really insightful. Thank you. I couldn't understand why someone would want to relive such a horrific experience. But as a way of regaining some sense of control through someone who is a stand in for herself. Yeah I can understand that. I hope she gets help.

[@woodpecker8116]

I don't know just making such a diagnosis from hearsay doesn't seem right to me. "I seduce every character" is a well-known behavior in DnD after all. While the Backstory of the character is too much for some people there are many humans who can come up with it, like I could for sure, but I wouldn't want to because I don't like it. But others do and often people react not positively to it. So it is perfectly possible that she just wants some validation that her liking such things isn't wrong. Others come up with such backstories for characters and themself to get some form of attention and pity. And that's just two possible things. It's all just guessing around with no real information so I feel like making any "diagnosis" isn't the right thing to do here. Because it hurts the few on mental health more than it helps imo.

[@DerpsWithWolves]

@@woodpecker8116 It's not a diagnosis, it's an observation. And I stand by it. Furthermore, I am trained to do so, and by your own statement you are working on a gut feeling rather than basing your conclusion on any kind of supported mental health precedent or best-practices. Her full pattern of behavior through the entire ordeal does *not* display someone who is just doing this for fun. To simply brush off someone who is clearly suffering under their own circumstances because "it hurts the few on mental health more than it helps" is just an argument to ignore the problem and willfully deny people the opportunity for proper diagnosis and treatment. I hope one day you can grow beyond such views, because choosing to ignore someone's mental health with a dismissive 'they're fine' attitude is not a solution. It is merely a coping mechanism for others so they don't have to deal with it.

[@woodpecker8116]

@@DerpsWithWolves okay diagnosis is a wrong term I admit that and apologize. But you misunderstood my intend I'm afraid. I just voiced my concerns that such observations from hearsay aren't as good. In no way, as far as I'm concerned, did I say she is fine. I meant that there is a possibility that her problems are different. If I didn't phrase that well I'm again willing to admit that fault. English isn't my first language so this does happen from time to time. And yes these concerns are purely based on my experience with psychology. But I'm not trying to invalidate your observation. I respect it and your work. Nothing would make me more happy but every person with mental health problems receiving the appropriate treatment. Edit: just realized the typo I made. I meant "view on mental health " not "few on mental health ". Sry.

[@ShyyGaladriel]

Hope she’s ok.

[@ericm8044]

I played a character with SA in his backstory (something i have experience of) and the NPCs involved came up in game and were very intimidating to encounter for me and the other players. It was great and the dm did a great job! This was only possible because we had discussed boundaries and how we’d refer to things in game before the first session. As I was building the character with the dm, I asked about every element of my character’s background to ensure consent was gotten and what parts I could discuss and describe. DnD is a social game, it’s important to consider the comfort of everyone at the table when engaging in certain topics! Session 0 is essential to discern what is a hard no, a fade to black, or what isn’t described in detail.

[@silversheep7369]

Not a therapist or psychologist, but trying to recreate the event with expectations of a better outcome is actually one of the responses some survivors experience. You can do so healthily by gathering consent and establishing boundaries, but its not something that should be sprung on the party out of the blue. I see a lot of people saying she should just get therapy, but I'd like to remind everyone that money unfortunately exists. Hope the DM learned to screen players a bit better after this, lol

[@clericofchaos1]

There's definitely a place for dark and mature themes in D&D, including all the "triggering" topics mentioned here. That's what grim dark is. It's very hard to do properly though. First off, everyone at the table has to know that going in and be ok with everything that entails. Second, not making a self-insert is incredibly important. You have to be able to distance yourself as a player from whatever dark shit is going on with your character. Pink up there violated all of that, whether she actually was a psycho or not.

[@dead_vibes]

The most ive given my character is depression that's building over the course of the story and have them recognize the issues and start to try to overcome them.

[@animeotaku307]

I made my last character an addict, but it was hard to keep that going.

[@Me-bj4uf]

I had a character been disconnected from reality after being tortured by an otherworldly being. After a while I had him get over it because getting well enough to participate and relapsing was hard to keep it on.

[@songbird6414]

I’m about to have a rogue who’s partially mute because of past trauma(it doesn’t help that she’s part Kenku and has a hard time communicating in general). The most emotion she shows is at night, when she thinks everyone else is asleep.

[@riverstein7251]

Worst one I did was for Halloween because I was basing the backstory off a hybrid of “The Ouija Board” and “The Exorcist” to make my creepy little 12y/o pact of the fiend warlock girl-except I made her incredibly cheerful and naive by nature just to throw the other players when demonic shit happens around her at random. She was intended to be a living meme though, not a serious story about trauma, and most of the people at my table got a real kick out of it and basically adopted her. She was a really fun character to play, I don’t think I could have played her otherwise though if I didn’t have her be as incredibly sweet as she was. It was like if Mabel from Gravity Falls got insanely powerful by making a deal with a fiend

[@devidevil888]

I've played an assassin rogue who was indoctrinated as a child into a cult and it wasn't even as dark as this story.

[@KayBbyXOXOXO]

As someone with a lot of trauma, most of my d&d characters come from happy homes and loving families 😭😭

[@MrMewsKitty]

I feel both in awe (negatively) and feel really bad. I get my own traumas out through art and writing, it's a good release especially if you don't have the money or other means for help. But when rping with people they need to know ahead of time so they can determine being okay with rping it (In a true manner of the character going through the motions) and you gotta understand not everyone is gonna wanna do that. If Pink's (satyr) trauma is something her creator went through (Rather it be some parts are exaggerated or not, I'm on the fence about that knife part but at the same time people are...ugh, to say the least. Along with HOW the family members died) then I honest to god feel horrible the creator of Pink could've gone through something like that and she needs serious help but this isn't the way.

[@Silverlightlive]

In 30 years of being a DM I have never had to come across a sexual backstory. Yes, jokes can be made, so long as you remain respectful (my players tease me as much as I tease them) but my session zero is always "Lets keep this PG guys" - and I find almost every single player is happy with that as a compromise.

[@BlueMageDaisen]

I have heard that some SA victims, possibly due to the fact that there's still a feeling of pleasure from a purely mechanical perspective, despite the mental and physical trauma, find themselves sort of drawn to the subject matter even if it makes them relive the pain part It's honestly rather sad to think about

[@simulacrum5899]

It's often a way of recreating the trauma in a controlled environment , giving the survivor a sense of control of the situation

[@craigh5236]

I got PTSD and I got it from stuff that would ruin your week if I shared it. Which is why I don't. There is some people that have gone through traumatic stuff that will just have a compulsion to 'trauma dump' as its called, constantly talking about it. Its not productive and it drives people away.

[@top-hatman6521]

I went threw a name change and now I’m the lord of all top-hat wearing men

[@theblackbaron4119]

Who?

[@vad-qk7gd]

Saying she was just “whining about her trauma” kind of rubbed me the wrong way, but your other insights were pretty good. It’s clear that Pink needs real professional help in one form or another, and D&D with random strangers on the internet is not the appropriate outlet for her issues. It’s not right or fair to dump trauma on people who have their own problems and who aren’t professionals who have the tools/skills to handle it properly. I hope Pink gets the right kind of help soon.

[@Jarethenator]

Yes. We can discuss how someone crosses a line without being disrespectful or dismissive. It’s a nuanced thing.

[@MrElementronHimself]

OP saying they "needed to be adults" was off putting as well. Even adults have difficulties dealing with their trauma no matter the circumstance, and I think it's unfair to say someone is being childish or immature for not knowing how to deal with it instead of understanding or helping them express them better.

[@thekaiser3815]

On the other hand, if what she is doing fits the description of whining, it should be acknowledged as such, it's hard to care if they are milking you for simpathy

[@grandpotato4326]

@@MrElementronHimself I believe the brunt of it was aimed towards everyone else rather than pink with that statement in regards to the prior claim of her being picked on by the other players.

[@nykcarnsew2238]

@@MrElementronHimself it’s hypocritical as well to ask for everyone in the group to talk about their dramas with each other directly when they themselves are only saying that to avoid having to directly talk to Pink

[@wallywallace2184]

"There's therapy, family, close friends, internet trolling-" ~One of these things is not like the other~.

[@ineverreply6372]

usually when people only want to talk about their trauma, it's because it's something that's saturated and tainted their every thought. it's not because they want pity. it's because the event/s have clawed their way so deep into their psyche's that thinking about anything else is hard. sometimes because of intrusive thoughts.

[@gracia_borealis]

Was just scrolling wondering what to watch with my subway tonight and then the notification pops up. Perfection

[@doms.6701]

The best isn't it. What kinda sub did you get?

[@gracia_borealis]

@@doms.6701 Rotisserie Chicken on toasted italian herbs and cheese bread with provolone, tomatoes, lettuce, green peppers, mayo, parmesean vinaigrette, oil & garlic aioli, mozzarella and capicola

[@gummywormee41]

The phrasing of "whining about their traumas" is a bit of a sour taste in my mouth but otherwise I agree that, at the very least, you shouldn't overstep boundaries and make other people uncomfortable

[@caoimhedoesstuff9293]

Yea I agree. She’s obviously looking for support, albeit in the wrong place. It’s not fair to just say she’s whining

[@lk9038]

Yeah, that was a big yikes.

[@samanthajeffers9339]

I agree as well. The only thing I can think of is that she wanted to triumph over someone who SA her in real life and wanted to live that out in a game. She went about it wrong, but ‘whining’ feels so harsh a word

[@caoimhedoesstuff9293]

@@samanthajeffers9339 yea it’s not uncommon for SA survivors to deal with their trauma in a fictional setting. It’s a way of regaining control. You’ll find that a lot of the people who write dark fanfiction etc are also victims of similar things

[@samanthajeffers9339]

@@caoimhedoesstuff9293 very true.

[@johnyoung2463]

To quote Caldwell Tanner from naddpod "D&D can be therapeutic I don't think it should be therapy"

[@Wolfen5207]

The bit about putting a part of yourself into your character is something I do for each of my characters, but rarely the same traits. For example, one of my characters is a Half-Orc sorcerer raised by a human foster family. She became self conscious about her appearance due to bullying from other children her age. This mirrors myself being self conscious about acne scars around my face and all over my upper torso. But it's only one small aspect about myself that is in this character. Another one of my characters is simply a human barbarian that has similar physical traits as myself, but is instead just fit, and that's it. Another character takes certain things to literally, same as myself. Putting part of yourself into a character is a really good thing, just as long as the character isn't just a copy of yourself.

[@Cheetahgirl_Studios]

I can testify to this. My first character was a Dragonborn Monk called Torinn. Despite looking tough, he was really just a polite, quiet guy who liked making things. Irl I’m a pretty quiet person, so I figured that could be a befitting quality for a Monk. My new character, Crimaz, is a loud, joyful Leonin Barbarian who cares about his friends and enjoys a bit of violence. The loyalty part, again, came from my own experience with my online friends. And I can be a bit loud sometimes when I’m particularly excited about something. It’s okay to slot in a piece of yourself into your characters. Everyone does it. Just... don’t make them YOU. Like what Pink did here.

[@thomasgardner455]

New viewer here. Thank you for making such great content and keeping me sane at work CritCrab (:

[@thomasgardner455]

Fyi this is before me hearing this horror story. Jesus Christ. Still thanks for your content Crit.

[@DaWoWzer]

3:44 I actually spit my drink out that was golden.

[@sweetlittlenothing7696]

//sits down with snacks// Ah shit,here we go again…...

[@firstswordcorvus7368]

That story sounds like a part of a Game of Thrones episode, at least the backstory bit. Adult themes I'd say are only ok if everyone is ok with it which OP wasn't, and can understand the IRL stuff is generally never ok. Not really creepy, but definitely uncomfortable and unwanted at every table/group. And I understand that it's pretty rare these days to find a group that's ok with dark adult stuff in game cause the majority want something more light to escape reality for a bit. But yes I completely agree with people need professional help and not use strangers for their therapy because it's not only unwanted, but most people aren't mentally equipped to deal with it with those people

[@The_Bear_Adventures]

I couldn't get through this. A partner of mine fell pregnant before we broke up and someone she thought was her friend ... Caused her injury resulting in the loss of the baby. I feel bad for this girl in the story but then I didn't get to the end so maybe she turns out to be an ass about it. Get therapy folks. Good looking out.

[@timdaferretmailman7297]

It truly breaks my heart to know just how common mental illness is and how many people are affected by it, and how many are able to heal from it. I was able to heal and now life doesn't scare me anymore, but unfortunately, as far as I can tell, I'm a rare case. I still have mental issues, but at least they do not have as much power as they did before. I've come to accept them, I found what works for me, and my soul is finally at peace. But why? It's very encouraging to know that I accomplished something rare, but... Sometimes being rare is sad... Especially when I have friends still trudging through the muck behind me.. I became strong with my trials. It was hard, definitely, but it was SO worth it. Oh how I wish I could share this courage with everyone I meet...

[@BaeCat872]

I honestly don’t love the way DM handled this either. I don’t understand how you don’t read a players backstory, different styles maybe but for a lot of people that’s the most important part. It also doesn’t sound like at any point they actually tried to communicate their feelings as evidenced by the fact that they left pink on read and then mass pinged the server which is... a dick move. I mean obviously you could argue it’s not their responsibility to communicate with pink at all since they were making DM uncomfortable but like... not a great way to handle things IMO. I do hope pink is able to get help, it seems like this all stemmed from a miscommunication of consent like another commenter said and I have a massive amount of sympathy for them as they clearly are having trouble finding recognition in their daily life.

[@gabreallia450]

Quite frankly, the more I think about this story, and after reading your comment, the more I think the DM isn't a very reliable narrator here. He spends most of the post complaining about a backstory he admits he literally didn't read until after the player had already left the server. When approached in confidence about issues Pink was having with another player, likely because she didn't want to start confrontation with another person without the DM's insight, she was ignored and then essentially called a child publicly for putting her trust in the DM first before possibly starting a fight. While I'm not saying Pink was right by any means to add (incredibly traumatic) parts to her backstory without the DMs approval, the more I read between the lines of this post, the more it seemed like the DM just didn't particularly like Pink or her character from the get-go.

[@littlemoth4956]

@@gabreallia450 Can you blame them? Pink was insufferable at best, actively triggering for others at worst.

[@gu244]

Did he just call internet trolling a good and productive thing? Lol

[@littlemoth4956]

...what?

[@LoliO.]

I love having hard subjects in my games but I always ask players where they draw their lines and convey to them that if I touch a subject they're uncomfortable with they should let me know immediately. I'll derail an entire plot to make the players comfortable again no questions asked.

[@saitainamalfoy7189]

I do a lot of story RPGs and have VERY few limits as I think almost anything is up for exploration, but ONLY if all players are comfortable -I will not hesitate to shut down a scene if there are issues.

[@LoliO.]

@@saitainamalfoy7189 exactly and that's how it should be. My standard is no description of sexual acts, no details of child violence, and naturally never forcing anything on the players. I've had them like save a girl that was about to be raped or hit a bandit hide out that was into human trafficking and it was implied they were being trained and sold as sex slaves but those are few and far between for me.

[@Kayamaru]

i love how there is an ad right before switching to the next part, its like, ok, you heard this, take a quick brain break

[@psyck]

Discovered your channel not too long ago and been, on and off, binging the videos. At the beginning of this one, you mentioned never feeling the need to introduce sexual themes and it reminded me of a podcast I listened to a while ago and how that DM handled a situation when a PC wanted to get frisky with NPCs. The party had just arrived to town and while most of the party wanted to find a place to stay or hit the local tavern, one PC wanted to immediately head to the local brothel. He got his girl and went to a private room. The DM set the mood, the PC was getting into it and it was sounding like things were gonna get weird. She pulled the PC close and he opened his eyes for just a second before their lips met and found himself in the clutches of a mind flayer. Don’t remember any of the PC’s trying to get “fresh” with NPCs after that. 😂

[@hdnfbp]

"There are better support networks than you D&D group" As a "Therapist DM" that hit hard

[@chuchupow]

I read the title as "Player Pegged in RP Tragic Backstory." Take that however you will

[@DestroyTheWokeBrainrot]

LOL

[@chimeramanticore]

I've had my own share of similar trauma, and my first few dnd characters even had a similar backstory to pink's, but by god i at least understood that it was weird enough not to share those stories with people- especially not a dnd group i had just met

[@mlorencetti1]

The worst part is that exposing yourself like that is that not everyone is a good person like the DM or Red. If Pink were in a session with a bunch of horrible people, per example, or telling her trauma to a "that guy" DM, she could put herself in some real danger. Cries for help can be heard by everyone, not only those willing to help.

[@KnicKnac]

So glad I've never run into this type of edge or call for help. I'd rather see a bland backstory that can be filled as the game goes on than that. Now D&D can be therapy, but in the sense of escapism from the real world and the stresses of life in general. It should be a fun times of adventure and goofy memes. Basically just some good socializing with friends and fellow nerds.

[@heltaku9397]

I knew a person like Pink and she made an early fandom of mine very weird and uncomfortable for our group of fanfic writers. Her character was hyper-sexual and hyper-violent (while being in a pretty light-hearted universe) and she was always trying to make us rp sex with her. I mean I felt bad for her given all the sad and horrible things she told us had happened to her, but her irritating and ridiculous demands became way too much for us and it ended up splitting up the fandom when we decided we'd had enough.

[@ajtheva6694]

Pink needs help. Of the Professional kind and not force it into D&D.

[@Bowtiedhillbilly]

It’s been said before, but: “DnD may be therapeutic, but it is not therapy.”

[@WolfgangDoW]

Trauma dramatisation can be common, where people will try to act out traumas again, it's the brain trying to process it, maybe find a diff/happier ending

[@BizzyLaVicious]

Internet trolling is NOT a "good and productive" way to deal with trauma. That's how you get your life destroyed, tolling someone else you didn't know is ALSO dealing with trauma and is fucking DONE being victimized. It happened to my old high school BFF when she started a superfluous fight with a random Myspace RPer, years ago.

[@kelsmister]

When therapist enters the chat. DND is fun, light hearted. If reality bleeds in time to step out and back into reality. Dear lord talk to a damn therapist. O_o

[@cthulhupthagn5771]

A year or two ago, on one of these videos, I commented that the gaming table was not a therapy session, I am not a trained psychologist, and it isn't my job or responsibility for me or my table to help you work through your mental problems. If you are having issues, you need to speak with a doctor or trained professional. I got a lot of flack for that, I recall at least one or two people commenting that they would know never to come to my table, as if you know who I am. I see here that the shoe is now on the other foot. I'm not gloating, I understand. It took a while for people to understand why I would have such an aversion. I'm not a hard-hearted individual, but you don't put that responsibility on other people. You don't take what is intended to be a social event with you and your friends, and make it an intense therapy session where you have to work through your trauma or where that bleeds through into the game so heavily as to derail the game. At some point people just have to realize when they're in that situation, take a step back, and see a professional

[@emmanuelmouzouris651]

I have been in this channel for a long time and love your videos this was too much even for me

[@deepseastonecore3017]

How often do l make jokes about chemistry? Periodically.

[@roxxdude1]

Being able to process and deal with your trauma? Good! Forcing the experience of that trauma onto other players that didn't consent to it? Bad. Pretty much sums up this situation, maybe if Pink wanted to process in a style like this they could have tried writing it down, or if they felt the need to roleplay worked through it with either someone who consented... or gone to therapy

[@Painted-Coyote]

edit: weeeeeelp, this was typed up when critcrab asked about who feels the need to rp sexual encounters... fun fact, the 1st campaign I ran was because a group of my friends were "degenerates" and wanted to have "fun times" while also playing DND. it was a lot of fun for everyone, helped sharpen my skills as a dm, and the world I used for that I've been able to tweak and now I use it as my main world. if it wasn't for some extremely pent up friends of mine id have never discovered my LOVE of DMing and world building lol

[@Kevinblue035]

you know, it sucks cus i think it's tottaly valid to want to roleplay characters who have trauma or mental illness or who have dealt with traumatic events, but this lady really went about it all wrong, honestly to me it almost felt more like she wanted to use her trauma as a tool to seek validation, rather than wanting to use dnd to vent about her trauma

[@thefruitsong]

I do hope pink gets help. I understand she's gone through a lot, but there's only so much a team of randos can do to try and help. At best, she might find someone qualified who can work with her through trauma. But there's also the horrific risk of someone taking advantage of it (as we've seen in a couple of these stories). Pink took a big risk and fell in the middle, making a lot of people uncomfortable and possibly traumatizing others. I understand that being a survivor of such things can make some act irrationally in a mad dash to try and seize control. But she risks falling into a cycle if some who knows what they're doing doesn't intervene, and she'll have to seek it out herself, assuming she's an adult. I know recovery is a scary process and going to therapy can be daunting/impossible seeming, at first, but it makes a world of difference. I feel for the group. I don't think pink was a bad guy by any stretch. She was a hurt person seeking a way to find control and went about it the wrong way.

[@weebmerchdestroyedwallet-k1283]

I had experienced some similar trauma and put a part of me with my current DnD character; a tiefling barbarian. I talked to the DM about what I wanted to do before I created a backstory, and asked if they were comfortable running something with this. That talk helped me out and I wrote my backstory, without explicit details, where the husband--character was emotionally and physically abusive to my character. The DM has always said sly "evil villain" remarks with this story but has never done anything to remark on my, as a player, personal trauma. It has felt good fighting with this fictional character to get answer issues and emotions out and, as far as im aware, the rest of the players do not feel uncomfortable in this campaign. The campaign has been going on for 3 years now and is coming to a close soon, and honestly having that "pre session 0" talk about how I would like to let DnD help me with my personal issues, really helped both of us. It CAN be done, but it ISNT a substitute for therapy or medication or anything else. It just has to be done with the right type of consent... from EVERYONE.

[@hellhawk9199]

OH MY GOD that escalated very quickly. I knew that it was gonna be bad but jesus that was so much so quickly I had to pause the video

[@TwilightxKnight13]

The moment I read that backstory, I would at the very least say, “hell no,” and would probably immediately kick the player. My fantasy game is not a place for that kind of trauma resolution and is a huge warning sign for long term trouble

[@frostfyrezero1830]

Pink needs to find a therapist that specializes in helping patients with those types of traumas. I hope they do and find some way of coping.

[@Dashzer0]

I started laughing at 6 minutes 40 because of how absurd everything got oh my god, the voice made it so much better, still listening to the rest.

[@MyrnNecromanson]

This is where whump blogs come it. It's cathartic to write similar things that happened to you, but give them different endings. Write it. Share it with tw tags if you like. But don't force others into dealing with it, as that is gonna traumatize them in turn

[@Shades14]

Ok, cards on the table here. I was in a car accident when I was 4. My family survived, thank God, and the only real injury I suffered was a nasty gash on my elbow that I still have the scar for. Naturally, when something like that happens so young in life, you get traumatized by it and I definitely was. I was afraid to drive until I was almost 17 and even now, I still get a little triggered whenever some idiot almost runs into me on the road. I bring this up, not for sympathy points, but because I noticed that when I write characters with trauma or tragic backstories, I tend to write them as having been in a car accident. I realized I was doing it subconsciously and finally consciously noticed the pattern and realized I did it because of my past. While I still feel it makes for an ok backstory for some, I have tried not to lean on it so much and try to come up with something else. I feel Pink really needs a lot of therapy to try to work out their issues.

[@junebuggeryy]

I *really* feel like this person could benefit from 1. A different genre, like the personal horror RPGs of some of the WoD systems, or 2. An RPG where the players fill out one of those pretty involved boundary checklists beforehand? I have PTSD and I play in a group where a lot of members have PTSD- and honestly, the shared creative space of those RPG characters can sometimes create these amazing sources of catharsis. However, you've GOT to make sure everyone involved trusts each other and is comfortable with it. The moment you start coercing another player (or the DM, in this case!) into going way outside their comfort zone, you've gone too far. Thats when shit gets *real* toxic *real* fast. I have more thoughts on safely using characters as an outlet for PTSD- but I think they're a little too involved for a single youtube comment. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I have sympathy for this person, but yeah, the DM should not have been expected to playact those dark depths.

[@shawuantheshep]

internet trolling is a confirmed therapeutic activity (i can confirm)

[@kemo7821]

The intro almost made me drop my bong lmao

[@ariadnagomez-kelly5393]

Question, I started my first campaign nearly 2 years ago and it’s still up and running, I really didn’t know much about dnd when I started and made a flamboyant high elf bard who hates high elves and ran away from home because of pressures and expectations and admittedly cruelty from his family, when I started I really had no intention or awareness as to the fact that I was pouring a lot of myself into the character, and that goes for his trauma too, and now with greater understanding I really just to the extent I relate to the character. I’ve checked all the players limits and none apply and all the decisions had been made and passed by the DM before I even clued into this but now I’m worried that I risk making people uncomfortable as we get closer as friends (I’ve lived with most of them for a year) and they learn more about me and my own traumas/insecurities, and will get uncomfortable as they start to draw attention. This is particularly concerning to me as it seems we’re going to beginning to go into his backstory soon. Anyone got any advice? Because I can’t really change it or dramatically change how I play the character at this point 😅 There’s a number of things that are different from me and the character of course, certain fears, how he’s far meaner than me in nature, etc, etc, but it’s still quite obvious to me at this point it’s there, and even analysing those differences I fear that maybe it’s just a hyperbolised version of myself. Let me know please would very much appreciate it

[@choc7551]

Only just noticed that I hadn't subscribed after watching your material for months, oops! Suffice to say, this has now been fixed! :D

[@IcarusMundi]

I can't wait for this analysis. **Half-life1 scientist scream.**

[@loser.lunatic4089]

1:25 in and I already had to mentally factory reset. This is the first time an RPG Horro Story ever made me anxious.

[@ThePuppin]

I had a horror story where a DM tried to force me to relive trauma. Luckily they had a coDM and he stopped things on his end of things. The problem was nobody would address the other faulty step DM but me. I ended up leaving

[@VirtuesOfSin]

"A wounded animal will always lash out, even if it doesn't mean to."

[@robbietheweirdo]

i feel bad for laughing at the "what kind of dnd character are you"

[@ariaxrose1]

I’m new to all of this but extremely invested 😂

[@crabsoft]

I think the lesson here is really that saying "nah dawg" is a valid option when your hobby tries to go off the rails.

[@pumpkinicing]

As a CSA survivor, among other traumas, I often end up, intentionally or not, giving my TTRPG characters similar traumas to my own. The difference here is it's often through abstraction or metaphor, and I told my group about the trauma and warn them if anything could be triggering. A lot of my characters have stories about growing past that event and not letting it define them, and figuring out who they are, scars and all. It's something my table is okay with because we talked it out and I explained what my process was, and there's open communication for if anyone is uncomfortable. It can be really cathartic to explore these troubling and difficult feelings through a degree of separation with friends at a table, but it's no substitute for professional help, and you always have to keep the other players in mind. I hope Pink is doing okay, wherever she is. I hope she's healing and has learned to cope through TTRPGs in a healthy way.

[@MenxiGoblinQueen]

I actually had a player sorta like this, I was going to run a sorta Halloween two-shot (maybe a bit more) in a scifi setting and they basically emotionally manipulated me, by going in about how the character connected to deep trauma, into having them hijack it from getting to the bug-hunt scenario so they could have some birthday/alien puberty they never brought up (I collaborated in helping make a whole species for some players) to me, the DM. They also overwrote a lot of background lore I had set up to be about their cat species with an elder goddess mother...

[@serialzero1979]

CritCrab: "...my sexy-ass subscribers..." Me: "Senpai noticed us!" lol

[@REfan2002]

Oh perfect, Crab has graced us with a story to start the work week... Oh, oh Crab...I'm sorry. This story was rough.

[@TheCheshireMadcat]

Back in 2011 I played in game where my characters background had her held by soldiers of a enemy force. I didn't put in any details, other than things happened to her that rendered her mute. She communicated by sign language, writing and hand gestors. (I was learning sign at the time and one of the other players knew it as well.) It took a year real time for her to finally speak, though it wasn't often after that. She was one of my favorite characters. I will say, I also have trauma from my youth, but I didn't add any of it to a character backstory, and if a character also had trauma, I never went into detail. Also, any RP that's intimate, I always fade to black. Yes, sex happens, but I don't feel the need to play it/write it out.

[@cuisneoir9544]

Fair play to critcrab for being able to read this stuff

[@wrexvincent2192]

Pink needed therapy. Private therapy. Because who knows who else in the group mightve experienced something similar in some way that *didnt* voice it?

[@animateddoglover4391]

This doesn't strike me as Mary Sue behavior (even ignoring the fact that I hate that term because of how sexist and nitpicky it's become). In fact, I see a LOT of myself from a year or so ago in Pink and it HURTS. I never wrote anything THIS bad, but I wrote the same kind of overly dark shit and forced everyone to listen to it. She never should've gotten DND players involved in her venting, and called a professional hotline instead. But at the same time, she WANTED validation and she WANTED to be taken seriously, and I've definitely been there, but this is NOT how you get validation. I can't imagine this was fun for her to write, it sounds like it'd be a miserable slog to get through. I know it sure was when I tried doing this shit, especially since writing was a HUGE escape for me. I sincerely hope that Pink is in a better place, I feel so sorry for her. -Ruby

[@Shamoshio.]

Ah yes, calling out the fact that there have been so many do it all female protags and characters that a term was crowned for it means it's sexist. Did you miss Gary Stu? Or is that sexist too and I'm just sexist against my own gender? Get a fucking grip already and go outside and talk to a real person. People don't watch CritCrab or play DnD to see another teenager call something sexist because they're offended by it.

[@animateddoglover4391]

@@Shamoshio. I expected a response like this from one of these Anti-SJW types. I know the term Gary Stu exists, and never once did I say the term was applied to ALL female protagonists. But the term "Mary Sue" is used a lot to slutshame, and shame characters just for being attractive. How is that NOT sexist? And don't act like the term "Gary Stu" is thrown around nearly as much as "Mary Sue" because it's not and you know it. Sure, maybe "sexist" is not the right word for it, and I KNOW there's stupid shit out there that gets called sexist when it's not, but it really rubs me the wrong way that people are so willing to call a character a Mary Sue just because she's attractive and sleeps around. Also, I'm not a teenager. I'm 20 years old. I don't know if that makes this better or worse, but if you're going to insult me, do it correctly. I also feel the need to point out that you're telling me to "go outside and talk to a real person" while wasting your time bitching about a random KZbin comment when the point that you're bitching about wasn't even the main point of my comment. Seriously, I offhandedly mentioned that I thought it was sexist ONCE and the rest of the comment was talking about something else. I'd hardly boil my entire comment down to that. It's fine if you disagree, but please don't overblow my statement.

[@SageOf6Tabs]

Okay crit crab f*** you for making me laugh so hard and saying internet trolling as a way of coping there this was a serious topic and I just laughed my ass off hahaha

[@MatrixRefugee]

Twenty years of experience in fanfiction writing, fandom RP and journal platform RP (LiveJournal and Dreamwidth) here, and this person reminds me exactly of a person whom I had to drop as a partner. In Fandom RP, players pick up characters from existing media and put them into settings with a variety of other characters from other media. Problem Partner would pick up characters with R'pe as Backstory tropes and as this player had suffered SA in their own RL history, then get completely enmeshed with the character, no IC/OOC divide. RP was all about trying to resolve the character's trauma and... if you weren't down for that, somehow, you were part of the problem and "contributing to r*pe culture". Also, if you played a villain who had committed SA (I was RPing a character who'd committed a magical/supernatural form of such, though I played the other aspect of character's personality, especially the supernatural elements), in this person's book, you were as guilty as if you'd actually committed it IRL Problem Partner looked into my character's back story and wigged out on me, calling me every name in the book. At least they didn't threaten to report me to the FBI, which they had threatened another player with. I eventually dropped the character, which was not easy as I'd been playing them for five years at that point and My Character had developed to a point where they'd started to experience some guilt for their past actions. I felt too much shame and embarrassment to continue playing them. Meanwhile, I had to shadow-block this person on social media, as I knew if I directly blocked them, they'd scream to the few friends they had left that I'd blocked them, how dare I (I wasn't the first person to have to block them to stop the harassment).

[@allfungus8127]

I finally ran my first session with my friend and 2 siblings, it was all of out collective first experience with dnd and ttrpgs in general, I'm DM. It seems to have gone well and everyone seems to have had fun. I'm working on the 2nd session now

[@Thunderstar7]

The closest I’ve gotten to a self insert is a young druid I made based on a younger me from a harder part of my life. It’s been fun, seeing the differences. And the DM letting me roll to see if I space out or wander off in the abandoned hellscape our campaign is. We’re probably all gonna die at some point.

[@Sussy_Bottom_Boys]

This isn't necessarily someone who has experienced these things. It could be, but it also could be a pervert who is really turned on by these concepts and very protective of their character because of their emotional ties to the fetish. Again, not saying it IS this, just pointing out the possibility.

[@Losrr393]

I 100% agree. So much about this story doesn't add up.

[@Mordring]

Seems like that to me as well. Too many weirdos out there who fantasize about things other people have really suffered from.

[@Barakon]

Maybe the fetishes are even the result of trauma…

[@the_nerd_showtv5562]

@@Barakon fetish don't work like that

[@Barakon]

@@the_nerd_showtv5562 oh…I thought that perhaps they can in some rare fucked up instances…but hey, if one can prove this to be wrong, then my bad. But if it did work that way, then the why would be that the events were an exposure to a first contact with the fetish and it’s development could have been a messed up coping mechanism, akin to the development of hyper sexuality after such events, but that occurs in child victims…..oh no…I just made this worse didn’t I?

[@Noah60]

this is why you never self insert in a game bc then you take everything personally

[@battlesister1559]

That's why I never accept self inserts characters into any sessions

[@KrazzyKlown]

I dont understand why more DMs dont just set a ground rule along the lines of "this is a roleplaying game for everyone, not your personal smut novel. Sexual RP/backstories/etc are not allowed." Seems like it would nip a lot of these horror stories in the bud.

[@KingChozo]

As far as tragic goes the worst I have done is A water Genasi female named Zora, who's hometown was destroyed by a werewolf and she barely managed to get away. (She jumped in a river then managed to freeze the surface of the water before the werewolf could get her. Also the werewolf was her older brother.) After that she traveled the roads only being able to sleep soundly in water as her only comfort. Later she became a city guard then got kicked out before meeting the party after a pirate attack on the town( She left her post because she thought she saw/heard a werewolf). Then she met the party.

[@TheTsugnawmi2010]

Here's a way to play the dead baby trope without it being... for lack of a better word... gruesome: The pimp makes a deal with a devil for money and power. The price is one human soul, so he sells the baby's soul. The PC went to bed pregnant, and woke up without the baby bump. There. No scarring, no stabbing, no skewering. Just magically gone. You could even have the baby come back into the story as a recurring ghost or even some kind of devil that attacks everyone in the party - except the PC. Maybe her voice or a particular song renders the transformed baby harmless. Now the party must find a way to absolve and/or exorcise the baby to his/her eternal resting place. That also gives the player a way to roleplay moving on. Hell, you could have the rapist be a Warlock with the Glibness spell. Imagine the pimp becomes an Eloquence Bard (because pimps have the gift to gab)/ Fiend Warlock with the Pact of the Chain (because y'know, slavery). I made that all up on the spot. It wasn't hard. How the fuck did "he twists the knife like a drill" make it to the final draft?

[@Lykangroux]

Having had my share of Conan-style and "Criminal Underworld" games, there's been nudity in my tabletops as player and GM, but only in the horror story has there been detail. Otherwise it's just "the gossamer silks leave little to the imagination" or "the allure of the body pales in comparison to the intensity in their eyes". You can have adult themes in games, the problem is that too many grobnards make it into a fetish simulator. But then there's Kenneth, my current table's 'sexy goblin butler', the downside of what happens when you like the party create their own retainer. Even so, Kenneth is a running joke as a Gobbo Chippindales dancer, and brings some much-needed levity to a gritty setting.

[@Davtwan]

D&D is not your personal therapy outlet for extreme trauma. D&D is not your personal therapy outlet for extreme trauma. _D&D is not your personal therapy outlet for extreme trauma._