Love and Happiness | Dharma Talk by Thich Nhat Hanh, 2004.11.25

It is Thanksgiving Day in Plum Village on November 25, 2004. The sangha gathered in Lower Hamlet, Plum Village during the Fall Retreat and Thay gave a 45-minute dharma talk on the topic of love and happiness. Sr. Chan Khong concludes the talk with a song.
The telephone line should be called the “compassionate line.” We hope this line can be established everywhere so that young people in their suffering, despair, and strong emotions can have someone to talk with. Suicide is a real issue and young people feel lonely and suffer so much. Who can they talk with? With someone who has the capacity to listen. Each of us can make a vow to be that person who has the capacity to listen. Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva of deep listening. Compassionate listening. We have to cultivate this capacity and transform ourselves in this bodhisattva. Without the capacity of listening deeply, we cannot understand.
According to the teachings of the Buddha, love is born from the ground of understanding. We can apply this in our relationships and our families. Understanding is not something that happens “just like that” - it takes time and we have to give our ideas, our views, our prejudices, our judgment.
Understanding what? The difficulties and suffering of the other person. The deep hope and desire the person has. The kind of obstacles the person is experiencing. We can ask the other person, “do you think I understand you enough?” Once you understand, you can stop doing and saying things that cause the other person to suffer. Then you have True Love. This is the practice of love.
Do we understand ourselves? The nature of our own suffering? Everyone has an idea of happiness and we may strive for that idea. But, can we see that happiness can come from any direction? Joy comes from letting go and the first thing we can let go of is our idea of happiness.
In the Buddhist teaching of love, there are four elements. The first is maitri - friendship, brotherhood, loving-kindness. And the second is karuna - capacity to understand the suffering and help remove and transform it - compassion. Mudita is the third element - joy - your joy is her joy, her joy is our joy. The last element is upeksha - nondiscrimination. This is a higher form of love. The four qualities have no limits - infinite love - these elements are also called the Four Unlimited Minds.
The bodhisattva of love is in you.
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[@ConexionHumanaOficial]

Thank you very much Dear Thay for share your wisdom, kindness, compassion, love and happiness. Love you. Evangelina Cortes.

[@massimobolandrini9294]

Thank you for posting this wonderful talk!

[@veronicalm8536]

Così emozionanti parole! Grazie💝

[@arpanarpokharel]

Thank you great Master🙏

[@gabryg1849]

Grazie tante Thay, and Sangha as well, ❤🙏

[@lenmuertegui2662]

Beautiful message from a beautiful mind 🙏♥️

[@preetikalia1236]

Deep gratitude 🙏🙏✨

[@ConexionHumanaOficial]

Thank you Sr, Chan Khong for the beautiful song. Evangelina Cortes.

[@buhodespierto24-365]

Que relajante y alegre es verle sonreir😘😍🤗🤗

[@sockysworld8010]

Loving-kindness, compassion, joy, inclusiveness - Love.

[@susan1302]

I feel as though sorrow can come in endless forms, too. It has, in my life. As much as I try to let go and to follow Thay's most wonderful teachings, (which I am so grateful for), it always comes back. If there are no friends to have tea with, no person to listen to you, and you are too beaten down to be that friend to listen to yourself, it is very hard.

[@BS-pg5um]

Susan I love you. X

[@vinnyvincent2862]

Susan: when you know your sorrow is coming back, then it has lost it's element of suprise, which was half it's Power ! Conquering the second half of any battle is Always much easier than the first half, and you are already half way there ! 🌹

[@susan1302]

@@vinnyvincent2862 That is astonishingly kind of you to answer! Thank you...I really like the point you make, as well. I see I wrote that comment a year ago; I have practiced diligently since, but have not really gotten more skillful in this area. But I hadn't thought of the point of view you suggest, and it is truly helpful. Thank you! _/\_

[@vinnyvincent2862]

@@susan1302 The skills you have used to get you to here are all the skills you need to get you to wherever you want to be. well done . 🌹

[@jennytran3449]

THANKS YOU FOR THE SHARING

[@laylam4241]

Thank you 🙏 ⚘💖

[@sockysworld8010]

16:00 The vast possiblity and multi-directionality of happiness. Imagine you are in an uber ride, on route. There is only one way, generally speaking. Next, imagine you are sitting in a taxi, there are many possibilities. Happiness is a taxi ride with infinite possibilities and routes. Before you log your uber route, imagine all the possible routes, this is happiness. 🚖🚕 Great teaching. Wonderful teaching.

[@dallasford5735]

thank you :)

[@mynews2u]

Great teaching! compassion, understanding

[@mviclovelovemvic7567]

♡ Thigh Nhat ♡

[@hanhnguyen-gt7el]

Such a wonderful and helpful talk! My deep gratitude to the teaching and wisdom!

[@hughslevin7120]

I feel like you Very appreciative of the wisdom the goodness The generosity The great love in every word How blessed are we to be able to benefit from this great wisdom Thank you all concerned

[@georgelouis7782]

Lovely talk as always 😀

[@selinachaneldieu]

Her song! My goodness🙏🏾

[@Michelle-gv9mk]

Thank you for the Chinese subtitle, I finally can share Thay’s great video with my parents now! Every time when I encounter difficulties in life, I come to listen to Thay, there is always a video there which has the answer I’m looking for. Thank you dear Thay for teaching me word by word on how to establish a compassion line! ❤️ and you said don’t use red, I’m curious to know why? Isn’t red representing the colour of our loving heart.

[@maxpfannmuller434]

Dear Michelle, concerning your question: I asked myself the same thing. Perhaps Thay said that the color of the line should not be red, because a red line is seen as a boundary or final frontier which should not be crossed. But the compassionate line that Thay speaks of represents the opposite: Connection, understanding and love. Does that make sense? May you be well!

[@kimlec3592]

Yes, Buddhist is good. When can Compassionate Line come to Australia please.

[@janetpearson6467]

Wonderful. Thanks for posting this.

[@laylam4241]

What is the name of this song she sings so beautifully? 🙏💖

[@Sasa_Buddha]

🙏🙏🙏

[@jyor1361]

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@samuelgio1975]

This is heaven

[@mviclovelovemvic7567]

♡ !

[@berndmensing8707]

Sounds easy, deep listening and compassionate speaking. But...right now? Don't think so. The patterns of our habituated behaviour are very strong. There we have to differ between potential and ability. The potential is in every being of the universe but the ability to do it "right now "is only possible for the great bodhisattvas. For example I, a normal being with impure perception want to practice "deep listening " to the stories of rapist or a war crimminal or a ku klux clan guy or, why not to use the example of someone, who is always complaining about this. ...and that, about life ...... Listen to them I only create a stage for those and my own spirit gets poisoned, because of my own impurity of perception and therefore reaction. .... Self acceptance has to do with self- compassion. This - I have to be develop first. And...trying to "listen deeply" and speak "compassionate right now" I promise, you will only lie to yourself .And the other person will recognise it immediately. And this does not support anybody. You can't go swimming until you've learnt it.

[@jennytran3449]

THAT TRUE,PRACTICING ONLY THE WAY FOR EVERYONE,TAKE THE TIME,THANKS YOU,FOR YOUR SHARING,AND WE SHOULD PATIENCE ALWAY

[@kimballbarrett1961]

talk understand strong suffer therapist listening ready to listen ashvarena buddha of deep listening really deep listening without love you can really listening father that you understand listen little willingness to understand suffer see not all darling do i understand you teleaphone know reality looking dont know enough get out look back cought desire to get out desire to get out idea of happiness attached to help our happiness every direction free ever born to let go in buddha maitra love someone freedom happiness respect loving kindness offer suffer concentration trul not to suffer karuna buddha he does not cry karunal munical see happy you can help joy offer joy can you offer no love needs understanding kerry still help more compassion equmility a higher love a tru lover equinimity infinate mitri love to level you are a buddha world no suffer bowl salty water handful of salt can river heart big heart energy comunicate listen suffer will disapere please help understand you loving kindness help Kimball Barrett

[@upstatenewyork]

So much background coughing

[@hughslevin7120]

Ignore the coughing and concentrate on the beautiful words of wisdom I was listening intently but did not hear the coughing

[@dejan3860]

2 flaws in his teachings are 1.lack of knowledge of women psychology2.lack of knowledge of evil,people,"terorists" cause they lack empathy,remorso,are sadist.not that seeds of good are undeveloped in them.with respect to all else that He says.these 2 flaws are caused by lack of personal experience and naivity.with love and respect for thay and the thruth.dejan