Podcast 357: Identifying, Exiting & Healing from Narcissistic Relationships

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EPISODE DESCRIPTION: In this repost of one of my most popular podcast interviews, I talk to professor of psychology, licensed practitioner, international speaker, consultant and best-selling author Dr. Ramani Durvasula about the many facets of narcissism, how it damages relationships and leads to abuse, how the culture of narcissism and entitlement is making the pandemic worse, and why we are so fascinated by stories of narcissists and psychopaths.
Read the show blog here: drleaf.com/blogs/news/navigat...
For more on Dr. Ramani: doctor-ramani.com/#
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*DISCLAIMER: This podcast and blog is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:
4:38 High-conflict, antagonist personalities & narcissism
5:36 What is narcissism?
8:38 The culture of entitlement & narcissism in our world today
20:51 How collectivism can enable narcissism
23:50 The two most important tasks of a parent or guardian
27:00 How narcissism & entitlement can out the brain and body into toxic stress and cause brain damage
29:14 The definition of narcissism
32:20 How to deal with a narcissistic person
45:00 Cognitive dissonance & narcissism
46:00 Trauma-bonding & narcissism
55:00 What causes narcissism?
59:22 Dirty John, psychopaths & narcissism

[@Salmasobhi1714]

When psychology and neuroscience come together it's a great fusion 😍🥰

[@vitavacek3483]

As somebody who was raised by a narcissistic mother, I love that you are sharing it! It definitely negatively influenced my childhood and has taken me many years to realize it. Exactly as you say, my brother married a very similar narcissistic wife. I’m glad that I managed to avoid this mistake. Your work (I mean both of you) will help a lot to people like myself!

[@kitsune7351]

The first time I heard of npd was the site Out of the Fog (fear, obligation and guilt). But with Dr. Ramani's videos I finally understood some of the terms AND learned that things will never change. It was part of the push I needed to leave, a life saver because I was literally losing my mind and my self. Gaslit, stunned and always trying to not "mess up" with someone who found wrong in everything I said or did. Dr. Ramani is right the only safe topic was the weather, but I still had to watch my tone. An exhausting life. Thank you for this great interview ladies ❤👏

[@wonder7798]

Yes, the hypocrisy and double standards made my jaw drop. Even if I didn't speak and kept the peace he would create a false attack or accuse me of something I obviously couldn't have done. It made me think he was crazy

[@kitsune7351]

@@wonder7798 narcissists aren't crazy but they give everyone around them ptsd.

[@rondihoover5605]

I love you two so so much but I’m so disappointed with this. Your take on covid and masks isn’t accurate. 😔 😔 😔

[@jeanettahenderson977]

I usually like listening to you two ladies but you really have missed the mark with the application of this subject as it applies to the current events today. So sad....

[@livewell904]

Truly sad. The deception is real "You shall know them by their fruit."

[@donnasimmons4707]

Romans 2:21. Professing to be wise, they became fools..... Don’t be deceived people.... Masks do not work.... science says. Control the population by fear. Open your eyes people. Praying for you.

[@BronzeGirl]

It’s hard to understand until you experience it. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Worst than having a enemy

[@kfcphtb21]

Wow, wow, wow…..two of my favourite people in one place! Thank you so much for this video….it will be a source of healing for so many and or for sure an encouragement along our healing journey! ❤️ to you both and God bless!

[@lashawnharrison8171]

Narcissists aren't always driven and successful. The first three narcissists I identified in my life are not. It's that same insecurity that drives their pathological behavior.

[@dalibofurnell]

It's hard to get out , it took me like 6 months and that was after being hospitalized, Praise God I am grateful to not have died in the relationship. Hearing all this, it's true what you're talking about, I just had to learn the almost impossible hard way which I would honestly never wish or want for anybody, not even on my ex fiance who I still cannot do anything else about except pray. I'm much better now. Therapy helped enormously , in fact I am not sure I would have gotten out without help.

[@wonder7798]

So happy that Caroline Leaf is speaking on NPD. I started listen to Dr. R 2 yrs ago when I first found out about NPD and my entanglement with my bf at the time. Sam Vaknin, Richard Grannon, Tudor were and still my lifeline that pulled me out of my situation. The residue that has been left after the separation has been exhausting. Thyroid immune disorder, lost my business and about to lose our home.

[@katiemulder2650]

Thank you, Dr. Ramani and Dr. Leaf! I so appreciate these words of life. Blessings!

[@wonder7798]

TEACHING BREATH WORK, MEDITATION, SELF REFLECTION, AND ACCEPTANCE SHOULD BE TAUGHT IN SCHOOL AT AN EARLY AGE

[@cjk7063]

Thank you for having Dr. Ramani in your show. She's so great. Love her so much. And so grateful for her. ❤💙💛💖💚💜

[@Wildewhitley]

Yeasssss!! Love love love these two heroes!!!! So excited rn!!!😆🤩 Thank you both so much!!!!

[@melindapotgieter8993]

I grew up in a narcissistic house with both a narcissistic father and my mother is now pretty much the same. I was molesred by many family members. I was raised in a very religious christian household and that in itself has been very abusive. I got married to 2 men like that. I think I ended up reasoning the same for years because of the relationship I was in and I was raised to put others firts. At the age of 40 I realized this, after trying to end my life many times. I have managed ti face the very hard road of turning my back on this and change into who I am for a change. It is harder than anyone can imagine but it is worth every minute. For the first time in ever I want to live. It is hard but I'm changing it bit by bit.

[@bluemagic9531]

You two are way better than my therapist.

[@susanjmc8742]

I could listen to this again…. Even though I have been studying this subject matter, it’s like you read my personal mail! Plus, this segment is one of the best I’ve listened to on narcissism. Thank you and please record a second segment.🌸

[@gamielesley6769]

Dr Ramini is an amazing lady with wisdom and discernmen I believe from the Lord. God is using her to help so many suffering from ptsd narcissism childhood trauma etc…. Praise the Lord. Thankful for her. Beautiful lady 🙏🏻💆🏻‍♀️✝️❤️‍🩹🥰

[@marciagreen5111]

wow.. thank you.. so great to hear 2 favorites on the same podcast!!

[@gamielesley6769]

Definition is key. She helps to to define these wounds God is amazing in how he defines these things to us by sometimes using others to speak truth to us to define what’s going on inside a person and he heals as well as he is bringing things up and out and sometimes quickly. God is all things to all men. Amazing. Praise the Lord 💆🏻‍♀️

[@Fruitful1]

Thank you for sharing about the two-part structure of empathy.

[@theonejaynewallace296]

I love how Dr. Caroline interviews other people and then compare it with brain science. It's amazing how you just explain everything (from the damaged neurons to the proteins, etc) I love science. Dr.Ramani I love your ways such as much. The way how you explain and I can relate to almost everything is amazing and stunning in the sense of how everything is run. So much awareness, realization, self-regulation, etc. Thank you both for always sharing your videos. It really helps us a lot. Especially for me, this is like the best therapy ever.

[@shirleymoore5201]

thank you this is so clear and understanding I've had to have so many shower 🚿.....I call it slamming....for me trauma bonding was what happened with me generational...❤👀

[@juliesunnydaze]

Collective enabling. Good point.

[@Salmasobhi1714]

Please make part 2 also 😍 🙏

[@miladydewinter8551]

Can I just appreciate for a moment Dr. Leafs nails.

[@cindycolby5581]

They are mentally ill … if you are with one you can change. If we change we won’t attract them anymore. Trauma in our bodies attracts them. They find a way to win by seeing your trauma and capitalizing on it. We are better for our community when we heal ourselves. ❤❤❤

[@His_Masterpiece]

Very well said.

[@rcz2023]

Thank you

[@bambibrazzle8006]

Whoa.. "the Trauma bond"... so interesting 🤔

[@rajeshreepralhadnikam3895]

I don't know Sister Caroline if you read comments- as much as your work has helped me so has Dr. Ramani's work. So nice to see you both talk. I suffered major depression for 4 long years and when I decided finally to take control of my Life - I also started looking back and investigating into the causes. I always had a narcissistic Older sister. As youngest in Family I was trained to obey all elders.. We grew up. Sisters Married. In my Home it was me and parents. My mother passed in 2018 and unfortunately I filled in her role- always giving giving giving- being a mother to my older siblings and an emotional support to my Father. In no time I was drained entirely. In the end of the day I was dying from Inside. I had nothing of my own left. Meanwhile I was converting to Christianity and the hostility I faced from family was too much. My narcissistic sister totally drained all resources meant for the entire family especially me. And by resources I mean not just money but Time energy everybody else's priority etc. I left my Job got home to cater to duties I felt were mine to do. But none of it was mine. I had to first find myself and do something for myself and then maybe for others. I just kept giving and giving and giving and allowed people to take me for granted. I feel too bad to have wasted such precious years of my youth. It's just these recent days I am trying to get hold of what is rightfully mine and that what God has for me.. Dr. Ramani has helped me protect myself from narcissistic personalities and you are surely helping me find my stable ground.

[@majolie555]

They are never happy and they drain you to the core. That’s about it in a nutshell.

[@Salmasobhi1714]

This is my real hit 🎯 both fav pupil together ohhh my goodness 🤤♥️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@Salmasobhi1714]

I wish I could gat that emotional support u are talking about

[@dollyalexandratorres2031]

But the entitlement syndrome should not be desired and compete with feeling dusadvantage and THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS. WE SUPPORT IT BY FEELING BAD FOR "THOSE DISADVANTAGE"

[@nicoleh6428]

31:20 Recovering from Abuse

[@margafrantz4406]

Hmm. Lots of good information. I agree w Dr Leaf however, everyone is capable of change-including those who are self-consumed, assuming they become deeply aware and no longer want to remain the same.

[@theonejaynewallace296]

It can also be there whole family.

[@vitaminhead1465]

I think my father and sister are narcissists, like it’s hereditary. They both don’t care that much about others or would not change anything for someone else. My dad believed that fathers should have sex with their daughters first. My sister also has always tried to sabotage me and has alterior motives that are always selfish. Even as adults she doesn’t want me to be successful or have a boyfriend or be physically fit. It’s weird and I want to end the relationship even though we laugh a lot together. But she hides everything from everyone else, no one knows her true nature.

[@danieltroen505]

Hi I think narcissistic is named after me little help

[@SHEvans]

You had me until you started on the M as k - It absolutely DOES not stop the spread of CV - Totally lost all credibility with that subject.

[@theangrywifemarsh4579]

Wondering as time has past how she feels now?

[@raynat-zoe6215]

Cognitive dissonance🔥🤝