Podcast 333: Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? Signs & Tips on how to navigate life as an HSP

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EPISODE DESCRIPTION: The word “sensitive” has both positive and negative connotations in our society, from statements like “he’s such a sensitive person” to phrases like “don’t be so sensitive!”. Yet the nature of human sensitivity is often misunderstood, especially when it comes to recognizing and dealing with highly sensitive people.
As I discuss in this week’s with psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Elaine Aron, a significant percentage of the population (regardless of gender, race or nationality) are highly sensitive individuals, although many of them don’t know they are highly sensitive, or what that means for the way they interact with others, express their emotions, deal with disapproval or parent their children.
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PODCAST HIGHLIGHTS:
2:49 How Dr. Elaine coined the term “highly sensitive person”
5:00 Why highly sensitive people are not just introverts
6:18 What does the term highly sensitive mean?
10:28 The word “sensitive” has both positive and negative connotations
14:00 Raising sensitive boys
16:08 How to manage your sensitivity
31:40 Parenting as a highly sensitive person
48:10 Getting over the ideal of the perfect person
55:00 Why you need to find a therapist that works for you

[@elizabethschilling7178]

I'm an highly sensitive person, and at 53 years old finally understanding myself. Thank you for this discussion.

[@freshliving4199]

Being highly sensitive, would you say you are your mother?

[@sharifortenberry186]

Oh, thank goodness… I’m not the only highly intelligent woman to take 53 years to figure out that not everyone, in fact VERY FEW others, feel things as strongly and personally as I… it explains much of the previously inexplicable aspects of my life!

[@spirituallysafe]

@@sharifortenberry186 same here ❤

[@beingme437]

im another 53 year old...same same!! I literally heard of this yesterday! been staying away from labels as I was a teacher for 18 years and did not want to put kids in a box...or me, but this is fascinating

[@annetallegrand5656]

I remember feeling so confused about my extroversion! I wondered how was it that people drained me, but I loved them😂 and I needed to be around them. But also did not want to always be around people or a crowd.

[@percubit10]

I am a sensitive person and I feel energy deeply. I am very creative and I get very emotional, I can't be around people who are sarcastic, make jokes, and are condescending. My dad used to tease me and tell me to change not realizing that I can't change my nature. I am a musician and an Engineer. I love the arts and the finer things of life. I am an INFP and also love the outdoors. I need to be in the right environment because I hate taking shortcuts. I don't like being around very religious people. Organized religion rubs me the wrong way. I look for meaningful work not just some BS work. I do like to have adventures. Just a little camping trip to connect to nature. People around you have energies that can affect you.

[@penelopelambson6794]

Dr Aaron, your book literally changed my life. I wept when I read it, overwhelmed by relief at discovering why I always felt I was a misfit. Tremendously helpful work.

[@jessicaward3778]

Me too!

[@rowanstarling3816]

Same 😊

[@ntordel]

This dialog has opened my eyes about sensitive people and how we need to evaluate how we perceive, answer, and treat others...and ourselves. I am a highly sensitive mother who is misinterpreted by my family members. I see now that I need to pause, observe, and internally think how to react and respond to me as well as others.

[@christinescheiner5194]

When you are a highly sensitive person you need to protect yourself.

[@v.j.l.4073]

So true. Highly sensitive people are highly persecuted. Not understood. Their gifts of perception are criticized and turned against them. Ask me how I know. 69 years old and still not able to really deal with being misunderstood and gaslighted all the time.

[@lindawebster4777]

So agree I'm 71

[@pamelawolf313]

I’ll be 52 in two weeks, and I’m just now figuring this out for myself!! It’s life changing b/c all my friends and family have just told me to “buck up” 🙄🙄 my whole life. To know that I’m not the problem is a gift in itself.

[@danielganciar7193]

I believe that one day, Elaine Aron will be very known all around the world.

[@UnacceptableTee]

This is me!! 😭 Dr.Aaron understands completely. Wow! All me except I was told by others I had patience of a saint with my kiddos. I had no support, no family, married to a socio. Being a mom I took naturally and of the outmost importance and responsibility. I get up in a very abusive home and step dad was alcoholic and abusive. I didn’t trust anyone to watch my kids. I just love them so much and wanted to protect them from anything. I always felt guilty knowing I must be doing some things wrong. I wanted to do the best for them. Of course I made so many mistakes. As far as work, employments goes; she’s so right. I work my tail off; care more about the company than the owners do. Burn out is real. I take my parenting, my relationships; and my job very seriously. People take advantage with someone who is kind; generous; and doesn’t have boundaries. Especially in medical sector. I’m very good working with people; however; I think at my age; and knowing who I am ( HSP) and experienced many big traumas; I feel the best place for me is away from the public; and a worker bee behind the scenes pushing paper. I’m becoming very aware of who I am; setting healthy boundaries which is a tough one for me; but I’m getting there. It takes time. This has moved me tremendously 😢thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻. Please have this incredible Doctor on again! 🙏🏻❤️

[@drewbtodd]

Quite incredible - this is me 200%! Hello fellow HSP's! Great there are so many of us - no one really gets us do they... :-)

[@karlaschmid5676]

Hello there👋 correct they really don’t understand us. I remember when I had a rheumatologist years ago at Cleveland clinic actually diagnosed me with having an ‘upregulated nervous system’ or HSP. I was so excited to finally have answers as to why I process everything around me so deeply! I sent many people in my family videos in the hopes that they would finally understand how I was different, hoping to bridge the gaps between us. Not a one person even bothered to watch the videos. 😕

[@drewbtodd]

@@karlaschmid5676 - I totally get you and empathise. I process everything around me SO deeply too! I am sorry you haven't had the support you deserve and feel for you because it's the same for me. Hang in there and don't change - HSP's are very special people. We are all in it together. We need to start a HSP club! x

[@karlaschmid5676]

@@drewbtodd thanks for your kindness ❤️ I’m sorry you’re also going through this. Right😉I’m thinking I’ve seen some HSP forums out there before…

[@karlaschmid5676]

@@drewbtodd And thanks for the encouragement! I will hang in there and focus on letting God use my high sensitivity to help others. We can make such a difference in the world around us. 😊 Many years ago when a Rheumatologist at Cleveland Clinic told me I had an Up-regulated nervous system (HSP), he told me that HSP people are the leaders in the world because we are able to perceive things way ahead of time 😃 I’m wondering if you’ve ever felt that gentle nudge inside of you to be a leader? I know I have felt it all my life.

[@drewbtodd]

@@karlaschmid5676 - my absolute pleasure and thanks for your empathy too. :-)

[@musingfoodie1041]

Great talk, many thanks 🙏🏻 I prefer the term SPS (Sensory Processing Sensitivity), as the phrase Highly Sensitive Person usually has a negative connotation. Learning about it has completely changed my life. It’s the most useful tool I’ve learnt about myself. Now I can take care of myself unapologetically. 💗

[@jackheninger5471]

Interesting discussion. Being a sensitive person and my wife is too, all of this hit home. I came across a book long ago called The Highly Sensitive Person. A real eye opener and a life changer for both of us. Best places I ever worked were 2 and both of them let me learn the job at my own pace and then let me figure out how to make it all work, and get it done on time and correct. Worst places, 2-3 days of computer learning and almost no flexibility, they also had very high employee turnover.

[@simsim876]

I’m guessing finance was a bad career choice and why I am presented with such a toxic, draining environment lol

[@stevietalk1]

THIS guest speaker - Dr. Elaine Aron wrote the book you are speaking of .. she coined the term

[@martiwalsh2069]

I am sensitive...always have been...but some view this as fragility. Very frustrating.

[@muslimahsharing4761]

Wow...as an introvert i do that all the time, i'm not really shy or intimidated by new crowds. I'm, wathcing and analyzing people. I love it if i know people's patterns, it will be easier for me to deal with them next time.

[@redrosestwo]

People, including fellow Christians, lie about things or tell me only part of what they want to say because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I would rather they be honest and straight forward with me than to tell me lies or half truths. I've been wrapped in a bubble growing up because of me being sensitive.

[@eleanor4759]

Very true. It's all about how people say things moreso that what they say

[@vicjan16]

Thank you so much for sharing this conversation. It has dramatically helped me!!!

[@Bri-st2fg]

This was such a blessing for me today in more ways than I can say.Thank you for all you do to educate us!

[@Passion84GodAlways]

Once again, looking forward to learning from your podcast! 💎🤓✍🏾📝👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@lannialexander3816]

Hi there Dr Leaf! I absolutely love your podcasts and listen to you every morning! I have a couple of questions I have emailed to you and was hoping you were still doing the answering questions videos!? Thank you for all your work

[@sydnyemerrick8242]

This has really helped me 💕 I watch a lot of self help videos, because I’m basically constantly stressed, but this gives me a breath of relief. So many self help videos have this mentality like ‘you have to keep going and going and never stop’ and those really drain me. This video has given me permission to really nurture myself and my true instincts and ways of life.

[@amylangford3766]

I always think of it as my Superpower! And yes I am very extrovert. Love your work Dr. Leaf!!! Blessings to you!❤

[@jessicaward3778]

Thank you so much for this information. I found Dr. Leaf and her resources from a friend. I’m so grateful to be learning about why I do and think the way I do. I have a two year old and I’m excited to read your book Dr Aron. For the first time in my life, I don’t feel like a weirdo.

[@TheOneAndOnlyMichelleAngelique]

Thank you

[@nishasankaran]

Dr. Aron is wonderful, love her and her work 🙏🏾❤️

[@teresawalker2976]

How can I find her writing??? Her web site??? I definitely need this!!!

[@chelseydemerchant]

I can’t thank you enough for this teaching. I really needed this and have learned so much about myself. I knew I was different but never related to this. This is me I am highly sensitive. Thank you again I can’t thank you enough. Changed forever.

[@freshliving4199]

Highly sensitive people are actually highly judgmental people. Stop judging yourself and others, which is you playing God, and become free from the world. What understanding did you get from this video?

[@sharifortenberry186]

It’s ABSOLUTELY life altering to finally be seen and understood… not only by another, but by MYSELF! To realize that I am special, instead of damaged, offers opportunities for learning healthier methods of self care and hope for developing my gift rather than numbing my curse. Thanks for the PROFOUNDLY useful information!🌻🌻

[@Noname-hs5lx]

Good evening, nearly on way back to bed. I am highly sensitive. I struggle to regulate my emotions.from South Australia

[@Turquoise123]

Hang in there… I promise there’s hope. Heidi Sawyer (based in the UK) has helped me out significantly with this over the years. May be someone for you to check out? Sending you good vibes either way. 💕

[@kelseyjowest9974]

I’d love to attend a seminar/retreat where we can all discuss our lives and bounce ideas off of each other. How to thrive, and how to make a big difference in this nutty world.

[@yvonnemurphy7506]

omgoodness I have been telling people this forever!! thank you for making it make sense, finally 🧡 #hsextrovertluv

[@C.B.-th3vz]

Thank you Thank you Thank you!

[@hispoiema]

Two of my favorite people on one screen...

[@AyeWitness]

Dear Caroline, I thought I’d like to share this video with my friend as she has a Highly sensitive young 11 year old son, - however the commercials are coming thick and fast lol almost every three ministers- please can you do something about reducing what are too many ads? Thanks for this interview. The lady with white hair is very good to listen to. Thanks for letting her speak. God bless xx

[@alexandraalbertz1442]

KZbin premium

[@jafaralijaffery636]

Love you doctor Caroline

[@danielganciar7193]

What happens to highly sensitive people in the workplace is that even though they may feel smarter and more capable than their coworkers, they feel bad about showing it and potentially harming their friend in some way.

[@jafaralijaffery636]

hi to you dear Dr Caroline and your friend 😊

[@jc74169]

Is there a relationship between the sensitive and codependent or neurotic tendencies?

[@cynthiathomas5754]

Presented her theory in a speech class. I had a a HS horse. She was wonderful.

[@karlaschmid5676]

Wow very cool I bet she was! I have a highly sensitive cat 🐈

[@amorosadama1817]

Good morning from Tampa Florida

[@adrianelze679]

I'm Ur Highly Sensitive Man that u want speak to 》 I Cry All the Time & R Proud of it ....... - I'm the Roughest Diamond u will eva See ....... - I Can Talk for hrs about this with U 》 Love to chat with u about HIGHLY SENSITIVE MALES ....... - THATS ME .......

[@JermaineThomas4050]

#IFeelYou 🙌! #Respect #Temperament #Therapy #AJobBestFitForMe #History #GettingAlongWithOthers #Sensitive #Individuality

[@pameladavis9939]

Explain what happens when a HSP marries a narcissist😕 Do you have information about this?🙋 This is my situation!!

[@SuperFlyegirl]

What about picking up other people's vibes,feelings, or even pains? Sometimes it's hard to distinguish what belongs to me or someone else. Any suggestions?

[@karlaschmid5676]

Yes that can be a tricky part of being highly sensitive. If you are a Christian, I suggest asking the Holy Spirit to help you discern Which feelings are yours and which you’re actually experiencing coming from someone else. I’ve also noticed over the years that it’s much easier to shake off or shift gears after experiencing other peoples feelings than it is to shake off my own. For example if it’s my own feelings, they always seem to be there at the end of the day and there’s usually a reason why they are there. Hope that helps. Best wishes.

[@marleneholloway7775]

Some people project their feelings on to other people, they are not necessarily picking up on someone else feeling, although many people can pick up true feelings and emotions of others..

[@cwuhoo]

Check out the book ‘The Empath’s Survival Guide’ by Judith Orloff, MD

[@janegamroth3926]

Yes, that is a challenge. Whether you are picking up on other people's stuff or it is your own or a combination of both, pausing and reflecting, journaling out the thoughts and the feelings, and how you want to respond to those thoughts and feelings can be helpful. Often, the overwhelm comes from having not dealt with these things when we first brushed up against them but instead we have ignored it or buried it or gotten stuck in it... depending on your preference you may want to talk to someone that you can trust that will validate (not judge as right or wrong) your process and allow you the time you need to decide what you do want to do with it all... As a Holy Spirit-filled, Christian I go to God and "sit with Him" praying through all of that and interceding for others as well as asking God to help me filter and govern all of the feels and pains and release them as needed. Jesus Christ has told us in the book of John, that He is the strong partner for us and that He is willing to take our burdens as we learn from Him and learn to cast those cares on Him.

[@susancorbett4260]

@@karlaschmid5676 Hi ..I feel every one I'm around or I listen too .. Its an invasion of energies ..its so debilitating ..I sleep too much Not knowing who I am as an individual is extremely frustrating

[@PilarHurtado-gm3dc]

DIOS me permita conseguir su libro. Tengo 49 años y 9 meses, me entero que soy persona Altamente Sensible. Gracias por sus investigaciones dr. Aron.

[@CatGee]

When you mentioned the African American woman I broke.... so much to be said yet unencouraged.

[@SunnyDays70s]

I am a highly Sensitive. I am also a Christian who does not believe this all came about by evolution but that I, all of us, are uniquely created by our Creator for a purpose. We are God’s workmanship; knit together in our Mother’s womb. Psalm 139. May we never forget how valuable we are, even if the rest of the world doesn’t appreciate us! 💕

[@karlaschmid5676]

I agree🙌 If you pair our high sensitivity to our gifts of the Holy Spirit, it can be exceptionally useful! The Lord uses me in that way all the time to reach out to others. All glory to God🙌

[@Thankful305]

Amen! I appreciate your comment because Dr Leaf has stopped applying biblical precepts to her incredible neurological, cognitive research. Allowing and incorporating a lot of worldly standards of application in these podcasts. Thank you for the reminder😊

[@Nursinginsight]

Amen Sunny!! 💜Ephesians 2:10

[@fedup745]

I agree. She turned me off there.

[@fedup745]

@@Thankful305 I do think she tried to interrupt the evolution remark though.

[@Pineapple3009]

I feel like i have a potential for a good and successful carrier but i don’t have any chance to work.

[@kristenawadallah1065]

This may be a stupid question but can one who is bipolar be considered highly sensitive?

[@kelliebell1280]

I believe so. My son has bipolar and he is highly sensitive and very empathetic. ❤

[@jackbenimble1373]

As a 50 year old MAN here, I found the information in Elaine's book applies to much of my life as if the book was written about me. The only thing I found disturbing in the book was all the sexist language biased toward women. It's both fairly ironic and hypocritical to show a distaste for the original "sexist" Star Trek while using sexist grammar throughout the book. Through the lens of Elaine Aron, one would think we live on the planet full of females. So I am thinking she must be a rebel feminist at heart or something. So, while the information in her book is very important, I do not think she has served her own cause fairly. We need more people promoting this work who aren't biased against men.

[@ekuadrat]

have a thoughts; how can we know that a person really HSP not some kind of person who just want to be "different" because some people believe that different is good unique and not ordinary. aren't the test can make them answer what they want not what they actually experience in physical life. (not to answer or to argue about, might delete this comment after taking the test. lol)

[@Naynay1160]

62 year old HSP, intravert.

[@shirleymoore5201]

To much simuli is to overwhelming for me ...

[@karlaschmid5676]

Here here sister! I’ve spent the last five years simplifying everything around me in order to thrive.

[@abpgrace]

Wise women

[@anzellaful]

So true law and medicine is not ideal for HSP

[@jongsean]

Repost of episode 174 😑😑😑

[@annablack7363]

I tested High on HSP test. And grew up in a lit of truma.

[@kikikokos9467]

Missing the whole point of sensitive, interrupting and commenting, interrupting lady interviewer .. really hard to watch and listen 😏😏

[@v.j.l.4073]

The most difficult thing about being a highly sensitive person, from my point of view, is being so absolutely MISUNDERSTOOD most of the time. And how do you explain yourself? It only compounds the problem. You face so much ignorance constantly. I am afraid most highly sensitive people lead a very lonely life.

[@miyaiun4723]

Hi. I think I understand how you feel. At some point you dont care about it that much. Do the right things towards everyone and what they think is their problem. If theres some real misunderstanding than you correct it. We have so many problems which are caused from not doing what is right. Its sad and ugly, but there is a solution: God and His Son Jesus Christ. Every individual has to be right with God and from there he can be right with every single person/ being în this world. What God asked of us were for our own sake, and what we see today is what we would get forever and ever if He left this world go on. But its gonna be over soon. So, every sin is to be avoided, no matter what others say or do to us. Yes, we all have all kinds of traumas amd sins, but we can overcome them. When you get to feel just a drop of His love it will make you cry and want to clean your whole soul and body and just be în His presence. Because there is nothing purer than Him, no greater Love ever. So anything the world throws at you becomes like the sting of fly and even less with time. I wish I believed this sooner, I couldve had the bliss that saints have, knowing Him. I hope ots not too late for me and I wish it with all my heart for everyone else. If only they believed His words and accepted His love. To love us, only He could. We have to understand how broken everyone is and help them anytime we can. Show them they can have hope and tell them that hope is to be found în OUR LORD JESUS and the Trinity.

[@sanetterobertson6085]

Confusing..

[@AyeWitness]

Around 33:00 when Elaine says, “I don’t write a book without researching”. Why do you Caroline feel the need to interrupt with the non required info “that’s myself as well”! I’m a highly sensitive woman. And I feel from watching a few of your videos. You’re a little bit insecure in who you are. Because you always seem toe have this need to tell everyone how good you are at what you do. It wasn’t necessary for you to quip “myself as well”. It wasn’t about you or your book. You were interviewing Elaine. Yet you felt the need to justify your own work too, when she was in the flow of answering your questions. I felt from watching this video, Caroline was really struggling to zip it 🤫 🤐 and let Elaine speak without interjecting and interrupting. However, I think you controlled yourself well, out of your respect for Elaine. But in general I find you are verbose. Caroline. You’d do yourself more favours by listening more and speaking less. You don’t have to justify yourself to your viewers. Relax and stop over sharing. Stop offering no required info. I’m sure everyone knows you research your books and work well before writing ✍️ publishing etc. you are an over explainer. Lol 😂 I’m not laughing at, but with you. I do the same. And I just felt, at times you were about to BURST 💥 with words while Elaine was speaking. Thankfully you controlled your urges pretty well. I hope you interview Elaine again. Thanks xx and love ❤️ xx

[@andrew63345]

So read the bible and DO what it says?

[@rcz2023]

Thank you