1:11 - Guest Announcement: Tilly Dillehay 2:00 - Recap on Alison Armstrong interview and book 5:40 - Enter Tilly Dillehay's book My Dear Hemlock 6:24 - My Dear Hemlock perspective 7:44 - Plug 8:27 - Tilly Interview Begins 10:15 - Inspiration behind the book 12:00 - Mindset preparation 14:50 - About the book 17:00 - Exploration 17:30 - Chapter on marrying down and the illusion of fame 26:39 - Women's temptations in marriage 32:01 - Advice to couples 35:00 - Men and women can lead in repentance 36:25 - If men were better leaders, women wouldn't sin debate 39:10 - Faithfulness isn't dependent on circumstances 41:08 - Issues/ideas in the book 45:00 - Exploring aging and death 47:47 - Faithful life of a woman in the book 49:55 - Public feedback on the book 51:28 - Discussing Tilly's other book, Breaking Bread (2020) 59:01 - Back to Hemock to discuss unique challenges 1:02:30 - Living up to CS Lewis' legacy 1:04:00 - Will's thoughts on Tilly's book 1:07:00 - Thanking Tilly
@persnipolesАй бұрын
Thank you.
@WhatAHorribleNight2 күн бұрын
Back when I was 20 in 2010, I knew a Christian couple my age who got married - both were worship leaders. Nice people but they definitely fit all the cliches about modern worship-leader types - very slick, hipster-chic, attractive people, very active on social media, maybe what I think can be a bit of a disingeuous air about their faith sometimes ("Y'all, God is just SO GOOD!" IYKYK) - I hate to put that on them but I don't think I'm the only one to see modern worship-leader types that way sometimes. And I definitely wasn't wrong in this case. While being worship leaders, they were also active in a local alternative rock scene - and a guy in a local rock band with some moderate success asked the wife to star in one of their music videos. According to the husband, that is the exact moment everything started to come off the rails. She basically became a groupie, suddenly wanting to go to all their shows and follow them on the road and hang out with the band. Husband did this with her at first but started to become uncomfortable about how close she was to the band members - when he asked her to back off the band, she refused - accused him of being a control freak and she started going on the road without him. It all went crazy downhill from there - their marriage dissolved a few months later. She renounced God and then tried to become an influencer, posting a lot of risque photos while working menial day jobs. That failed. She's now mid-thirties, has dated a string of losers, works minimum wage jobs and - unsurprisingly - is now on OF. I think it's clear there must have been some sneaky precondition lying under the surface, she already had a sickness in her heart that was undiagnosed - but once her own "I coulda been famous!" moment arose, it catalyzed into the full-on breakdown of her life.
@billstrom351Ай бұрын
Lack of gratitude is the sin of Eve, She didn't see all the trees she could eat from, only the one that she couldn't. It is the focus on what we don't have and not what we do have.
@VaronnoАй бұрын
Psychology refers to it as borderline personality disorder. Too many women expect fulfillment. They think they can repent and a man will accept their body count. Accountability and misandry are taboo words to almost all women of most denominations. Matt Walsh is horrible. Domination and submission to the puritan? More hypocrisy
@lloydgushАй бұрын
Ironically it's also the sin of israel, one of the, usually the one that starts all others. And so for the rest of humanity.
@sfertonocАй бұрын
Maybe. I think Adam wanted her to succeed and she failed, and, unlike God, disliked her not for faulting but for "failing". It basically is a naricissistic triangle with the snake as the psychopath narc. So, woman's fault is hubris, this hubris that her retarded bad boy is a genius and the judgmentalism that the "boring" guy needs to lose because of a weakness in emotional immune system... However Adam and Eve were the first humans, not the first people, big difference. Cain feared being murdered by "people" seeing not he was originally a human from a specific tribe.
@hochha207817 күн бұрын
The "Tree of knowledge of good and evil" "Genesis 2.9 is an analogy, a reference, to the devil, the fallen angel that led rebellion in heaven. Ezekiel 28.13 "Thou hast been in Eden, the garden of God" the purpose was to wholly seduce both Eve and Adam. Abel was Adam & Eve's son, but Cain was not the son of Adam, he was Eve's son but not Adam's. Cain is not listed in Adam's genealogy, Cain has his own line of decedents separate from Adam's. The snake crawling among the branches of the "Tree of knowledge of good and evil" and speaking to Eve represents the seduction and deception of the devil who has the body of a man, with all the functioning parts. Look up "Superfecundation" it refers to the ability of a woman to be impregnated by two separate men contemporaneously, producing bi-fraternal twins.
@wendellbabin645715 күн бұрын
Doesn't matter if all you get is the BILL!
@TheFashnersАй бұрын
As a woman and wife who was in the modeling and movie industry for over a decade. She hit it right on the mark! I can attest that fleeting dream of “being famous” was all consuming, vanity and not from the Lord! Being pulled out of the industry by the Lord and placed into my true role of living an “average quiet life” at home with my husband and children has been the most fulfilling and God glorifying years of my life sofar! Thank you for sharing this Will and Tilly! It needs to be heard!
@sitka4928 күн бұрын
Given that you did have some excitement, adventures, fun early on though? There are some woman that get married 18 or 20 years of age by age 30 now with 5 kids and thinking she's lost complete agency in herself. Looking at as just a diaper change,r snotty nose wiper, house cleaner, cook ,and provide sex for a husband from time to time?
@sitka4928 күн бұрын
There are some women that get married at 18 or 20 years of age by age 30 now with 5 kids and thinking she's lost complete agency in herself. Looking at as just a diaper change,r snotty nose wiper, house cleaner, cook ,and provide sex for a husband from time to time?
@sitka4928 күн бұрын
You did at least get some Adventure in your life before marrying? Whereas a woman that married young and by 30 she has three four kids and feels she has lost all agency herself and with that begins to feel like she wasted her youth.
@TheFashners28 күн бұрын
@sitka49 Even better, I got adventure in while married! We got to experience traveling the world together. We got engaged at 19 and married at 20. We’ve been married 11 years this year! My husband was with me during more than half of my modeling years. Praise God he was! His protection and wisdom provide a security that saved me from a lot of sketchy circumstances in the industry. We now have 3 kids in our early 30s but wish we had started a family much earlier in our marriage!
@gparsrАй бұрын
At 15:50 - “live in this world where women don’t sin…” I never blamed or shamed my ex wife when my marriage broke down, but one perspective of many that changed my naive and “captured” understanding of women is when my ex responded to me discovering her infidelity was her stating “well you do it too!” (With no evidence or incidents) and my pathetic response, because I know that I didn’t “do it too..” was muted because I was reflexively thinking “I can see where she’s coming from… etc since MEN ARE BAD! I was honourable throughout my marriage, but here I am momentarily being sympathetic because I could see her point generically… still hurts years later to understand how stupid and brainwashed I was. Then bumped into male friends over the next year or two, and same thing - decent, hardworking, responsible men faced with the same lengthy period of deception from their wives, outright lying to their husbands, and with no threat of violence or aggression from the men to excuse the women. And me dating in my 50s - every date became a boot camp in women’s hypocrisy and danger. Status seeking over love, warmongering just like men can be sometimes (suckers for unnecessary wars), some full of rage and anger at smallest thing, and don’t get me started on empathy and wanting to hear men’s feelings.
@PostMillManАй бұрын
I feel for you bro, we’ve all been brainwashed
@sitka4928 күн бұрын
I think women are okay with driving that broke down Honda for a while I will given the opportunity they would like to drive that Ferrari in there mind too.
@noman-s6l28 күн бұрын
Yep, we all drank koolaid. And now attempts to reveal what's behind the curtain are shamed even by so called Christian influencers...
@bgrimlan24 күн бұрын
Even if you did cheat (I believe you, not hinting you did or anything), that does not give her the excuse to break her promise to God when she made her valves to you. If she thought you were cheating, she should've confronted you and made it known so you can defend yourself or confess. That way she can forgive you or make it official, the intention of a divorce.
@sitka4923 күн бұрын
These women your dating may have been through the ringer of divorce of no fault of they're own also. ( It takes 2 to tango) And are hurting as you, and you coming a crossed as suspicious and angry too?
@0_3_6_9_0Ай бұрын
44:07 This is so accurate! A lot of men crave physical touch. Thank you Will & Tilly.
@91722854Ай бұрын
yet it gets exploited and used, to bring out the worst in men by despicable means
@CharlieBravo887Ай бұрын
"Among wimmin, there's a weird idea that you're 'too special' for normal life." That's called narcissism.
@kleptosepto184829 күн бұрын
Narcissism, women, same ting.
@geotrader122 күн бұрын
Solipsism not narcissism but it's a reality of the Central Character Syndrome. Insufferable, belligerent and unaccountable.
@katieharrisartistАй бұрын
What a beautiful interview! I love the part about women repenting and doing what is right before the Lord regardless
@noman-s6l28 күн бұрын
Yeah, loved that work of fiction too.
@chiefofsinners5272Ай бұрын
"Die Hard" masculinity says it all. John McClaine wanting his contentious wife to know she married down just helped to reinforce the simp strategy.
@0_3_6_9_0Ай бұрын
When modern dating is such a terrible nightmare, did not realize having a committed relationship with the intent of building a responsible family is somehow considered wrong in the 21st century.
@viktoroleynik9132Ай бұрын
I'm not big on flattery , compliments or exaggeration , but she is probably the smartest woman I've ever seen , her capability to go so deep into female psyche to a detail and she also has surreal level of capacity to understand a male point of view and male mindset . I'm talking about normal civilized emotionally healthy male .
@harrisonescobar-yr4clАй бұрын
Wow! Thank you for this video! Loved every moment
@josephsheeran9475Ай бұрын
This was all started by author Betty Friedan and her book “The Feminine Mystique “ published in 1963.
@HMot-g2x23 күн бұрын
... and so many of those leading 1960s feminists were neck-deep in the Occult!
@JamesM-l5g27 күн бұрын
Dang bro This was one of the best intro’s I’ve ever heard!
@annkeeler8523Ай бұрын
Thank you for this interview. I definitely want to read this book!
@maleccnurse1Ай бұрын
Loved Ms. Tilly's "My dear Hemlock". Good to hear from her again.
@chrisgrumbine7937Ай бұрын
You might be interested in the book put out by Stephanie Gordon called ask your husband. Also, the book A case for Patriarchy by Timothy Gordon. They cover this issue very well.
@sitka49Ай бұрын
I'm not sure average guy can afford to buy a home and raise a family on one income anymore. - Just told my fiancé that our new plans for married life are for her to stay chained up in the kitchen while I work 3 jobs to keep us barely afloat. She's thrilled!
@markmacbayne28 күн бұрын
I have not yet read the book, but from the inteview, it seems the story starts with a young woman, new to married life, and follows her through middle age. I noticed a couple of the comments dealt with divorced men. Add me to that group. I am middle-aged, Christian with a professional career, six figure salary, and three wonderful sons. As I moved out into the dating world post-divorce, I found it was really easy to find a "girlfriend", but I have been struggling to find a woman who is interested in a Bible based marriage. Tilly's mention of single women in the church waiting for stable, available men caught my attention. I was intrigued by your mention of a role for the church in facilitating matchmaking. I have not experienced the church engaging in this way. I would like to see that aspect explored further.
@sitka4923 күн бұрын
Even in the church I would wonder about bible based women (submission) if their being honest with themselves as in stated preferences and revealed.
@His.PresenceАй бұрын
I don’t know what she’s talking about average-a man who is disciplined, respectable, respectful, and Christian, and supporting both members of the household is incredibly far from average
@noman-s6l28 күн бұрын
He's average sucker that in 10 years will be destroyed by divorce court. And will join the statistics. I think that's what she meant.
@timothyrheingold1031Ай бұрын
I’m interested in your thoughts about life after divorce for the Christian male whose wife walked on the marriage. Is there hope for me and other men like me that there are honest, faithful and godly women out there AND available to marry?
@willspencerpodАй бұрын
@@timothyrheingold1031 I believe there is hope. There are many single unmarried women who are past the comfortable age of childbearing. If you’re ok with that, then your playing field is wide open.
@OneMountainNineАй бұрын
@@willspencerpodThe Hen-pecked Husband was penned in 1788 by Robert Burns. There’s “fly ointment” before that and the fishwife, so women who purport a patriarchal society kept them subservient is about as valid as any oppressed person blaming epigenetics, familial issues experienced as an infant or anything else related to trauma or influence as the reasoning for a lack of fullfillment in life. Change is one of the only constants through out everyone’s life and even the most privileged people resist. You know free will and destiny and whatever falls in between. We lived in the society of quick fixes which as you say has morphed into some women and men blaming everything except their own habits and spending time reflecting on self inventory and emotional attachments. Standing back and looking at the greater picture psychobiologically we have the survival instinct which is hormonally subconscious and after ego life is ALL about feelings. The Bible teaches unconditional love for self and others. Few people are able to parse life into the simplest of -yes this choice serves myself, family, friends and my circle of life radiating outwards, or no it doesn’t. The rest of the insights (and life’s maybes) cloud our emotions and makes life far heavier than we want/need it. Balance of logic and empathy and a life of moderation will help develop far more habits, rituals and routines which serve us and the greater wholeness. No one taught me this. No one mentored me. I learned it by observation and being curious. And even though I’ve still got some work to do which I wish I’d known about half a lifetime ago, I never doubted my purpose and my resolve to make my own road has sometimes been the wrong choice at the wrong time. Looking back I’ve had some pretty special privileges and those times have been balanced with some bittersweet and sorrowful moments. Biggest insight I’ve learned is health, travel and connecting with others on their level have been the most rewarding moments I’ve experienced. Bless all the light workers like yourself and others who care to shed light on the shadows and the power of the rainbow of sun which is the color palette of all of us and the divine. Thank you.
@brentc.6690Ай бұрын
@@willspencerpod What kind of reply is this? How do you know that the original poster is looking for women "past the comfortable age of childbearing"? He posted nothing regarding his age, whether he currently has children, or whether he is open to future children.
@brentc.6690Ай бұрын
Yes, there is hope. But how difficult your search will be depends on what your marriage goals are.
@fennek5351Ай бұрын
What does the Bible teach about remarriage?
@nerian777Ай бұрын
"Just marry someone you're not attracted to." It's just not realistic advice
@TAiCkIne-TOrESIveАй бұрын
Just don't marry unless there is a lot of money to be made. This applies to men even more so. Hence, men shouldn't really marry.
@rwestbrookАй бұрын
Have never heard of this book, super excited to get my hands on it. Thanks for the interview to both of you :-)
@His.PresenceАй бұрын
Short answer-everything
@PreciousMemoryBookАй бұрын
I think when the sites started monetizing content it took a weird twist. certain sites turned into a sort of pimp and tricks girls with pretty lies. Like, be the boss, get rich quick schemes. This sort of happened to Marilyn M.
@david-c6u7p14 күн бұрын
EVERYTHING
@junetaylor8396Ай бұрын
So glad I avoided the marriage trap. I just wanted to own my own home, stay debt free and as independent as possible. Praise the Lord - He helped me every day. I sure do love Him. What a wonderful God we serve. Merry Christmas everyone.
@PreciousMemoryBook28 күн бұрын
2. In Marilyn M. Movies. I found her extremely likable. The men from movie perspective are to blame. Also her not having a dad and mentally ill mother. No dad and a sick mother can do damage to girls. Not to mention the Internet influence. Older women in the church should do more to help young girls.
@moderngoblinАй бұрын
Listened to whole thing. Huge waste of time I don’t have the slightest idea what this book is about and the title is total clickbait no discussion about the secrets women keep from men or things they don’t tell men.
@neilrowe119Ай бұрын
Fairly true observation. And if one has not read C.S. Lewis they would be a bit in the dark.
@codecixteenАй бұрын
Thanks for your service. As soon as I heard CS Lewis I knew the room started to stink.
@persnipolesАй бұрын
22:00 hearing men are observing these behaviors, her "really" got me very curious what she'd have to say about that. Could it be it's not obvious they notice anything? Is there some way they should respond?
@wescreedle9801Ай бұрын
Already been done. By Lewis, no less...Ever read Act II of Perelandra?
@willspencerpodАй бұрын
@@wescreedle9801 Yessir. I left my heart on Perelandra. But this is a bit different.
@colombia2009ishАй бұрын
She knows that, she based it off screwtape letters, but reflecting the specific temptation women face
@Gruff338Ай бұрын
Great video
@HolographicSweaterАй бұрын
why do you shave your scalp
@ModernMozart1104Ай бұрын
lol what?😂😂
@jouniosmala9921Ай бұрын
Throw away Great Video 😀
@sammyt4549Ай бұрын
Will, is that a bottle of Laphroaig in the background!?
@willspencerpodАй бұрын
@@sammyt4549 Yes it is.
@sammyt4549Ай бұрын
@@willspencerpod my man! Probably my favorite scotch
@OneMountainNineАй бұрын
Ethyl alcohol is what gets humans drunk. It’s a poison. Moderation
@mickmccarthy8925Ай бұрын
And possibly Michter's riding shotgun.
@willspencerpodАй бұрын
@ Yessir 🥃
@a.studios9930Ай бұрын
The title is extreme clickbaiting. Not all women or men are called to marriage. They wouldn't thrive in the mediocrity. If we are talking traditional roles, most women are clueless about the demands a marriage will have on her. More so demanding on her time than the man. If the husband does not show value & appreciation of the wife. Then he has emotionally abandoned her, leaving her open to other temptations. She will look to gain appreciation, status, and value from that so-called fame and social media.
@christopherrobin361Ай бұрын
Men do show appreciation and women still go to social media. Never appease a bottomless pit in person.
@sitka4923 күн бұрын
Never in the history of marriage has it's happiness determined its survival - I cant speak for marriages yrs ago, but some wives may have living in unappreciated marriage of solitude, but never divorce (husband has bowling on Tuesdays nights, and poker night with boy's on Thursday night, and he decides on the vacation's outing's he wants for the family?) because of kids , financial reasons ( No income other than the husbands support), socio - what would the congelation at church think , my family if I left the marriage?
@frankiecal3186Ай бұрын
Body count.....
@christianandrew1037Ай бұрын
I have no concept of “embracing you’re no longer a hot young woman/man.” Ridiculous attitude. You can be a hot and fit 30, 40, or 50 year old. It’s called effort and attitude. A haunt of mediocrity is what this peddles. Spare me.
@eriklarsson3188Ай бұрын
Sorry, doesn't work that way. Women are the most (que the outbursts and the name calling it's all good) attractive between 14-21 (her most fertile years) peak is 18, full 'maturity' is 21 (when the flower is fully blossomed) once she hit 25 her youth is over, her exuberance of youth, beauty and fertility is over and it's downhill from there and very fast. Female peak fertility clusters between 16-17, for men 25-35, male peak is 38. (in other words, the s3x3s are not the same) men and women look for different things in the opposite s3x, men look for youth, beauty and fertility (all the things women have EARLY in life and quickly lose) in women, replication value. Women look for experience, masculine maturity and provisioning in men (all the things men have LATER in life and all the things that takes TIME to build and acquire) women look for survival value in men. This is not to say a woman can't be attractive past her peak fertility years, of course she can, she can be attractive at 30-40 sure, but it is not spring anymore, it is not summer, it is not even fall it is winter, and even though a winters day can be hauntingly beautiful, it is winter, it's barren and cold. The thing is, IF a man gets access to a woman's prime years, he is also likely to stick around for her decline, fall years and winter years, but no *man (a male might) will burn his value on a woman that is past hers, that's a bad exchange, it is NOT an equal value exchange. Not even close. He is going to cash in on his value on a woman that is in her prime years, the only time a male would not would be if he lacked the value to get a woman in those years. That's it. Unfortunately most western women today burn their prime years (14-21) jumping from sword to sword, then they hit 25 and their youth is over, do they try to cash in? No, most of them jump from sword to sword another 5 years, who she is 30 and five years past her youth already, and 12 years past her peak already. She hung around in the casino for waaaay too long. In closing, a man (any man regardless of his value and his experience with women) want to be the woman's 1st, first in everything (use your imagination) and he also want to be the woman's 1st choice! Not 2nd, or 3rd ,(lets fast forward a bit) or 20th, 30th, 50th (lets fast forward again) 80th ,100th choice. No, her FIRST, that way he can make his imprint on her, that way he will also value her and be a good man too her (good as in kind, not to be confused with nice, no man should ever be nice) also, he can penetrate her MIND, not just her body, but if a woman has been jumping from sword to sword since she was 14 (that's when it kicks off over here, also the legal age by the way, men get going a bit later, 18-21) and she is now 25+? He can't penetrate her mind, not possible, no, it doesn't matter how tall handsome and well endowed he his, never. ever. Going. To. work. At best he is reduced to a walking dildo that she extracts s3xual pleasure from, at worse a walking wallet and emotional tampon that she will constantly cheat on. There you have it. PS Not that western women care about what men want in them, it is all about what they want in men, which works as long as she is in her prime years (14-21) after that it no longer works and once she has hit 25 it no longer works at all. I mean, why should a woman care about what the man SHE wants want in/from her? Right? Makes no sense, it would be like me as man not caring about what the woman wanted in ME, but just make it about what I wanted without offering her anything in return. Exactly, it wouldn't work, so, what makes women think they can approach a man once they are past their prime years and expect him to burn his value on her when she is way past it? Right, the only male that would do that would be one without options, and a man that woman would not desire, not be attracted by, not respect, a man she would resent and feel she was settling, and the man in turn would end up resenting her, knowing he was not her 1st choice, or 2nd choice (yes, you guessed it, lets fast forward again) or her 100th choice, he was 101, knowing he sure as heck was neither the best she ever had (not even close) or the best choice, he was her only choice because she ran out of options after having aged out!!!
@alexmccollum6573Ай бұрын
Thank you for your boldness. This dog is so thick over us. Very refreshing.
@HMot-g2x23 күн бұрын
You can, maybe. But are you? No hot 50something can possibly compete with a woman in her 20s, who has even a modicum of femininity.
@DMWayne-ke7flАй бұрын
It's a pity you have to soil your work by going onto this sad man's podcast.