Pornography Isn't Your Problem | Jason Mahr | TEDxCincinnati

Health relationships begin with letting go of what is unhealthy. Jason Mahr describes how you can let go of what is damaging and promote healthy relationships in your life.
that exists to help coach people to overcome personal constraints while
focusing on renewing the mind. With over 20 years of experience in
working in churches and counseling others, Jason’s desire to lead others
comes from the struggle of overcoming a 23 year battle in his life. The
struggle that gripped him for so long was released through a healthy
relationship built on honesty and vulnerability. No longer having to battle
on his own, Jason was set free, and now devotes his life to helping others
find freedom as well! For more information, please visit www.restoringminds.org
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@TROOP235]

That's why he is a good pastor. He admits he is human. I have so much respect for him.

[@DD-fs7pg]

Lorenzo Caldwell What, y would he be anything else if he's a pastor.

[@milascave2]

rtha: They already demoted him to janiter. Clearly, they prefer hypocrites.

[@mostwant3dgov]

I do agree that hypocrisy has been a major weakness in the church. From the pews as well as the pulpits.

[@rockingpox2274]

As most pastors do

[@Annatar3019]

@@bradyrobertson5697 he wasn't shaming him, he was shaming the people who demoted him (in his defense). Also learn to use punctuation, your comment is near unreadable.

[@Mu_sh3bn]

an Egyptian author called Ahmed Khalid Tawfiq said : " when you give up some type of addiction , the biggest problem for you will be your free time . when you beat your free time , you can beat your addiction . "

[@tmasarweh]

الله غالب well .. with more time youre more likely to beat your junk again lol

[@docsnock5297]

This is the most real thing I've read in a while. This is right where I'm at in life.

[@BlakeRyder-zs6iz]

That's true

[@MARTIN-101]

This comment should be on top .

[@manojkumar-yd1pf]

One of the Great Line I've ever heard

[@connorcaple2778]

I think the spiritual root to all addictions is the need to be loved.

[@JoshuaMNielsen]

And something to do (i.e. vocation, purpose). Purposelessness breeds discontent. But I agree that love is key.

[@pradipta9345]

ya i agree

[@MadhurBagai]

And in scientific terms, Serotonin not Dopamine.

[@pingu7271]

Josh Nielsen Smart men!

[@visitorzeta1669]

This is the answer to my addiction

[@santanumohapatra1326]

"Addiction is a symptom for a deeper problem."

[@randomdude9135]

This comment actually made me stop n think about it. It's true. Thanks for that insight. Now my goal is clear. I've to find what's that deep problem in my life. Then no addition n no problems

[@nightdonutstudio]

@@randomdude9135 you still need to fight through the biological aspect. It is not like that one day you discovered your root cause, then your addiction cured.

[@DJblake33365]

Most problem is lack of self love

[@brianmarinho6355]

I believe it's worthy to consider the spiritual aspect around it as well. A strong belief in God and a good deal of sobriety surely has helped me ovet the years against addictions in general. Stay in Jesus. Cheers.

[@marioconstantino6740]

Santanu Mohapatra I want love ☹️

[@meatymeatymoo5341]

Porn's not really a major problem for me, though I occasionally relapse, but it's the _memories_ of all the porn from over the years that hurt me. I'd give anything to rip that sick crap out of my head.

[@artdisciple]

so true

[@hakeemsd70m]

Meaty Meaty Moo I feel you, because I still suffer from porn addiction. I hope one day to be free, but that future is very bleak. I apologize for my pessimism.

[@mnkwazi]

Auzzy Friez why watch the sick things?

[@cherrapincroft2028]

well but you can theres only one wayy menn, just ask me

[@robertkamau1664]

I have been there ,almost cut my hand off coz struggled with masturbation and worst of it all I never touched a prostitutes vagina then use the same hand to feed myself, I punish myself coz I took myself there at that point and continue to handle edible stuff with it. I gotta pay the price for the crap I did

[@wkrapek]

I think we've just been overthinking addiction all these decades. We're mostly just lonely. And mostly because we're just not paying authentic attention to each other.

[@Phantom-ez4zv]

William Krapek True, we just need some tinder love and hugs.. preferably from hot chicks from time to time

[@basilmweramakokha9557]

Humans are quite severely unequipped when it comes to communication. And communication is the key to connecting which is the key to ending loneliness. Animals communicate better than we do. It's our very ability and limitless capacity to surpass our instinctive nature that puts us above any known living being. But it's that same capacity that makes us particularly vulnerable to loneliness.

[@jeanmanche5482]

Adopted Hippo I hear you for the preferred choice of hot chicks ...dogs are nice too but they tend to lack in the boobs department :)

[@alejandromorenogonzalez4949]

William Krapek amen

[@youhavenoprivacyandownnoth8289]

loneliness is also an illness

[@yingyotnebbua2079]

"Addiction is just a symptom of a deeper problem." Nice one. Big respect for this man.

[@HigherWisdom]

Porn is a thief of time. For some, years of your life gone.

[@alissaspafford8846]

HigherWisdom so is work. just think of how many hours of your life you have spent just to p rent for a month.

[@roskichan3001]

Everything is thieves example. Relationships, doing your hobbies, work, making money and *EVERYTHING!* So stop.

[@fml5910]

So true. Doing drugs,,watching tv all day, waste years also.

[@oralferguson2792]

On phone

[@sporadicnature2718]

You could say everything is a waste of time, everything enjoyable takes up time

[@davidhoward7691]

I finally gave it up after realizing it wasn’t just affecting my relationships with my wife and kids, it was something I needed to give up for me, for my mental state. The first month was very difficult. What I found was after a full month without it, my relationships got better with every single person in my life. I felt less angry. I felt more in sync with my wife and co-workers. It was crazy when I found out how bad it really was for me. And I would have never known had I not stuck with it in the long term. I am now years into my “sobriety” and I’ll never go back.

[@jasonmahr6327]

Let's connect!

[@Maestro-K1121]

So happy for you! Amen. That is beautiful.

[@pspT61]

It took me losing my ex GF to see the damage it caused on us and her mental state. Trashed my stash and don’t have the desire to consume it anymore. Need to find the root issue within myself.

[@nwekekelvinakachukwu6556]

How can I stop it I need help

[@aqil4519]

day 42, my grades went from 50%-60& to 70%100%

[@jerrymobley4394]

This is awesome. I'm going down the path. Congratulations

[@ogfridgeman5546]

what a g

[@Dominator002]

Did the grades go above 100 after day 50 😂

[@aqil4519]

@Fyltrix Flix i used to tell myself that god is watching me when i do these things and how will this ever benefit me and stuff i dont really know what to tell you lol

[@ur-didact1991]

@@aqil4519 me too brother

[@MantisUzumaki]

Mad respect for him admitting his faults, especially as a pastor. Society tends to judge religious and faith oriented people more than themselves. No ones perfect. Don’t play with hypocrisy. Look in the mirror and tell me you’re better than everyone.

[@allenp303]

Day 210. No urges.

[@92ft30]

have you kept it up

[@c.m.m6668]

Dawg

[@themidnightpiper9978]

Wow awesome 👏

[@seunowolabi163]

How'd you do it

[@lorenzotolliso1388]

God bless you

[@eatgrass123]

Wow, when he said the part about the need for approval, that hit deep.

[@kingsenorali8139]

eatgrass123 what exactly does he mean by approval

[@h.a.6790]

Approval means being accepted by others.

[@kingsenorali8139]

H. A. So that's y ppl do things?

[@michaelatwell8724]

I don't get how the two relate

[@eddenoy321]

They don't relate Michael. There are hateful women posting here telling you that masturbation is harmful.

[@sthalxndr]

Nofap community where you at

[@myname8635]

Black White Guy In America I wish

[@terrycrews1760]

Philippe Shady during the Ted talk?

[@rohancornwall1022]

Day 12!

[@jahimuddin7380]

Just started today

[@timiland5881]

Yoooooo!

[@carolvevle8190]

An addiction isn't your fault, but doing nothing about it is!! I'm so proud of you for what you have accomplished & admitted. To beat addiction, the first thing you need to do is admit you have a problem!! Thank you, for your honesty!!

[@joshryker6535]

just relapsed. starting over today. haven't gone longer than 3 weeks in a while. pray for a brother.

[@allstar4life3000]

So crazy how this addiction can be looked at as comical or funny, but it's crazy how crucial it is to everyday life for a lot of people. Abstaining from porn can/will change your entire life for so much better. It's a damn struggle though..

[@jmonlive]

Drew...no YOU are crazy, turd!

[@chibyk2008]

Did you try doing it. How do you feel looking at ladys around you.

[@y7952]

DrewVillain it should be banned. Let people fantasize for god sake.

[@8v71buses]

Yep it’s a struggle alright. But it’s definitely worth the fight to work on overcoming it that is for sure

[@l0ovechild47]

Jon Vester keep telling yourself that buddy :)

[@aestheticbaal7390]

A minute of pleasure, and an eternity of Suffering. not in a religous Context though.

[@isaaconyeleonu2533]

Correct all the same

[@darrenwang8879]

Very Shakespearean.

[@ioftenarguewithidiots.3811]

It's true in religious context also

[@youstilldontwantit1590]

@@ioftenarguewithidiots.3811 no

[@Imokyourok440]

@@ioftenarguewithidiots.3811 if a loving God would send one of his creations to eternal hellfire for behaving in way that he doesn’t agree with, then God isn’t loving and doesn’t deserve our love.

[@allinonechannel6782]

101 days of nofap.... life has improved so much

[@cesar3989]

How

[@alexstorr5511]

How are things since you left this comment, have you managed to keep it going?

[@vickjr98]

Any updates pal...

[@mohsenhomaid]

Updates?

[@merlynpaul2091]

I admire this pastors' courage, generoisty and the need to help people with his experience ...

[@jasonmahr6327]

Thank you!

[@deeluvsu4l]

I'm stopping today wish me luck

[@zowtoe]

Good luck, man. Stay strong.

[@mercedesb6184]

You’ve got this !

[@arielgaray302]

You can do it man! Us both! Fuerza! 👊♥️

[@davidroche8627]

So it's been a month..how you doing? Today is day one for me

[@gjwkzvaksb368]

So...

[@Diaamohy]

I just started to refrain completely from this Filth, wish me luck!

[@y33tboy97]

I heard that addiction always leads to depression

[@8v71buses]

y33tboy It’s true because I’m bipolar type 2 and hypomania, depression and anxiety hits even harder when struggling with addiction

[@shogunkamakura7358]

@dontknow apathy

[@tikibelieve3238]

Yeah. And vice versa

[@NyuuPhyllo]

Technically, I guess you can say that basically every addiction out there leads to depression, right?

[@mdomarfaruk6914]

i also believe

[@terrencemcdaniel6605]

When he started talking about not being able to handle rejection, I felt that. The idea of failing or being told no in any facet of life is terrifying to me.

[@Chann223]

The better way for him to say it would have been, " We get addicted to what makes us feel loved". Approval, to me, is just another form of love.

[@soulfuzz368]

Well put my friend.

[@basic-decaf]

Approval isn't love. You might "feel loved" but real love does not approve of behavior that harms yourself of others. Love would work with you to stop that behavior.

[@thirdplanet4471]

He did say, "addictions are a symptom of a deeper problem"

[@sarthak1314]

Are you addicted to your mother's love?

[@ricardointrnc14]

Trying to quit porn.. coke.. alcohol..

[@ImBlackIvy]

the whole trinity, fight the demon man..fight.

[@Lalala-fz2ci]

VirtusEtHonestas Coca Cola?

[@manictiger]

Look up: Rat Park. Quitting is easy under the right circumstances.

[@alexbuehner4967]

Stay strong, pray. If you don't pray you are prey.

[@mikemailei4491]

porn isnt the problem! u can always put out the fire! but you need to slay the dragon where the fire comes from! "Slay the dragons in youre life" this guy hit it on point! Love youreself! than you can love another.

[@leavur6051]

I feel that alot of you guys aren't getting what he meant by addictions like porn giving you approval. Let me put it differently. Whenever you leave your comfort zone, by learning something new, studying or approaching a girl, there's is this feeling of insecurity that comes with it. Your body's trying to fill in this gap somehow and in the past you've done it by watching porn which provided you with an instant pleasurable feeling almost without any effort. It served you as an easy escape route from the feeling of being unsure. In the future you have to learn to deal with such feelings as uncertainty that come along on the path of living a healthy life without using porn or any other drug.

[@chibyk2008]

Leavur I You confused me the more.

[@linglingkong6785]

thanks for explaining . As being a foreigner, i feel much more easy to get it after your explanation.

[@MrNolos]

Thank you, sir. This is exactly what I wanted to read. That is how I felt about what he said. I feel that he discussed a topic that is somehow trivial, but he stepped on something way(!) deeper than that. It's not just about quiting your addiction, that is the outcome that reults from changing your mentality, your lifestyle and the way you perceive the world. Addictions are vicious cycles, to escape them you have to leave your comfort zone, which puts a lot of pressure on you, pressure that can make you relapse...

[@billsmith7573]

Very very smart!

[@Debord1]

Good explanation, thanks for that!

[@brian6696]

All those in favor of nofap✊✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

[@jzblue345]

In favor of nofap I like the real thing better lol

[@craker213]

Brian is masturbation a sin?

[@pphyjynx8217]

david new there are no sins.

[@chappygrandpappy2450]

david new::: yes lust of the eyes.. Adultery as well

[@chappygrandpappy2450]

PP Hyjynx God's real my guy

[@Evajeanfreedom]

Brave man and good speech. Coach Cory Wayne once said that addiction comes from an inability to feel

[@wynterbreeze1202]

This is so real! I'm a woman yet I identify wholehearted with this man. Using pornography as a deterrence from my pain. Thank you Jesus for this message.

[@ucefkh]

Be happy Farrah as your name means happinnes ;)

[@joelrodriguez1232]

God bless you Farrah.

[@GhostRider659]

living up to your name I see.

[@joelrodriguez1232]

Anacleto lol

[@yukononun]

His name is Jason, not Jesus.

[@cquinn185]

In a world full of lies, corruption, and hypocrisy, it is wonderful when someone tells the truth in order to help others even if it exposes themselves. This was really a great testimony because we all have addictions that destroy our self-esteem and keep us from a relationship with God who is the only one that can feel that emptiness.

[@michaeljames4194]

I think that is the shortest ted talks and also the one that hit me the hardest. Hit the nail on the head to the extent it brought me to tears. Thank-you for your courage and vulnerability in sharing this with us.

[@Crambull]

Not a matter of approval for me. To me, porn is the underlying problem here to things like lack of social skills, anxiety, etc.

[@Amokacisjj]

Same here. Go NoFap!

[@krishaynes4275]

is your social anxiety a need to be accepted tho?

[@setho1231]

Better Every Day porn is a fruit, not a root

[@handicappedhero]

Porn isn't objectively a bad thing. The problem is bad porn. In the right hands, pornography can be created that fosters intimacy, self-confidence, and peace. The real problem is that the porn I'm describing as edifying makes up maybe .0001% of all porn.

[@Amokacisjj]

handicappedhero Problem is, nobody really watches that type of porn.

[@mdude9211]

Finally a good point about pornography. People try to prove it with science but it isn't good enough. As Jason mentioned we try to use pornography to escape our lives but if we fix our lives maybe it will be less of an out we reach for. I will keep it in mind. Thanks.

[@sealeper7334]

This was truly eye-opening; i can see now how I've always been unaware of my fear of rejection. Thank you for helping me realize this fear and link it to my addiction. It has changed my life

[@Wideominder]

2 hours nofap, i am with you

[@takeiteasy55555]

5min nofap here

[@billfox8225]

same here

[@Digitaldendo]

yup

[@Kutsushita_yukino]

3days here

[@dmlx4209]

Wide Mind 8 months?

[@santiagomacias7943]

Great respect from some one who is this brave to open up such a huge inner struggle, and is ready to be vulnerable in order to help people. As Jason Mahr, I want to take my bravery step to and confess that I also have been trying to fight this addiction for a couple of years. I find out that as much as I tried to fight against it, it comes back in one way or another. I think that Jason Mahr got a point, there is something deeper than pornography that keeps you into that bad habit. Just wanted to get this out there and hopefully win in confidence every single day.

[@victorjemiseye2786]

Addiction and depression work together. Depression leads to addiction, addiction leads to more depression and vice versa

[@8v71buses]

victor Jemiseye Yes that is very very true and it really sucks for us bipolar type 1 and 2 people unfortunately

[@louisefarrington9170]

I wish my husband would come clean and allow us to move forward but still here we are stuck in limbo because he will not disclose or get honest with me. I feel jealous of this mans family that he is striving for a better life with God and those around him ( though I know I shouldn’t, I wish this were my husband with the gift of desperation to come clean) Thank you for showing me not every man is stuck in addiction and unable to get well. Amen 🙏

[@kgxgen2062]

Such a succinct and beautiful talk from this brave guy! It reminds me of another TED talk about addiction where the speaker explains the hypothesis that a mediation/alleviation for addiction can also be attributed to the formation of communities that support and accept each other, in opposition to loneliness. To all those who are suffering from addiction out there, don't give up hope! Seek out ways to best help you. You will find a way!

[@jerrychamnichanh9353]

6 months porn free. I don't necessarily believe approval is the underlying base for this or many addictions although it might be for some. Decent talk regardless.

[@AcKeLiVoPasT]

Jerry Chamnichanh did ur life change even a little bit?

[@jerrychamnichanh9353]

Hey, Aleksandar. Yes, my life has changed quite a bit. Many changes were gradual and barely noticeable until I did some reflection. I actually made a video on my channel about my 6-month lifestyle change. Be sure to check it out if you want to know what those changes were and feel free to comment any questions you may have. Cheers!

[@jerrychamnichanh9353]

Hey, mikeMcoa. I began my journey of quitting porn about 2 years ago. At first, I was relapsing often even if I made it to a month or so. I believe the difference this time around is that I kept myself as busy as possible. Whenever I felt an urge, I would work on something such as school work, doing my chores, or going for a walk. I would say after about 3 months, the momentum was in my favor. Urges still come up but it had less control. I hope this may help you on your journey!

[@mikeMcoa]

Thank you

[@kerryjlynch1]

Jerry Chamnichanh

[@MoesFingers]

lol comments aren't disabled for once

[@swamplife3148]

Yes why do they disable comments and stop people from discussing the video further. Its retarded.

[@KevinStiff86]

Because the Keyboard Warriors usually end up engaging in a highly intense religious/race war that creates unnecessary chaos.

[@swamplife3148]

It's the youtube comment section. Pretty much every video has ridiculous arguments and bigotry. Doesn't mean the people who are interested in a real discussion should be silenced too. I'm always skeptical of a youtube channel that disables comments or likes/dislikes.

[@KevinStiff86]

I agree with you. I have no problem siffing through the computer warfare in the name of having meaningful and productive dialogue on different topics. Unfortunately, a lot of people that run channels on the site choose to be politically correct and non-confrontational in the name of maximizing subscription potential.

[@mildreramos4616]

Moe Zuiter . 👎 ctrl surfboard I'll oy cu 6h czar

[@laurieewilson]

I appreciate your candor, and relating addictions to a need for approval. I have overcome addictions with alcohol and food, so I relate to the power of addictions. I hope you get through to many.

[@mulletcity]

I’m addicted and I’ve tried many times to quit but I can’t stop..

[@rentapasiva]

You said it "You can't stop", it is already in your mind. Your thoughts build your reality, if you say that you can't, then you can't, what about if you think and say that you CAN stop it?

[@mulletcity]

I don’t know if I have it in me to stop, I’ve tried many times and failed.. I’m a failure

[@kaumohlamonyane272]

Idk if you are an individual of faith or not however I managed to stop after praying for years about it.

[@sydoly123]

Check out easy peasy ebook

[@Bucky0012]

Man I went a year no pmo no fapping and I slipped into a damn hole man I’m back at it trynna beat this damn thing. I thought it was gone out my life but that’s where people are usually wrong. Once an addict you can always be an addict again in a snap of a finger. I beat this once I will beat it again and again

[@LaxsonGPoker]

This is what happen to me bro

[@michaeldundee8300]

Tried getting an accountability software and partner it will keep you in check it will force you to.

[@plumenommershpadoinkle7575]

it will get easier to beat every time. remember, recovery isnt linear and slipups/relapses are a matter of when not if. what matters is how you prepare for them so that when they come you can get over it quicker than the time before. eventually theyll get further & further apart, and quicker & quicker to beat, and theyll become totally insignificant

[@sonsofliberty75]

The shame and guilt that envelops you immediately after is emotionally devastating! Then in a few hours it all passes and every tomorrow it all repeats!

[@schonrock85]

THAT WAS MORE THAN WONDERFUL I CRIED. THANKS.. its goodto know other people overcome this addiction. I hope someday all people can deal with their problems and not use other bad scapes...

[@brendangoosen]

Well done, that took some balls. We are not honest enough with our struggles and our feelings. Denial is a cancer we need to face up to as humans. Dead straight honesty. Well done!

[@matthewwallermusic]

By far the best talk I've heard on this important subject. Thank you!

[@nyelee5952]

Takes a lot of courage to speak out loud about this.. your courageous man!

[@myfreedomjourney3571]

Thanks! Check out my new series of podcasts!

[@TheBecomingMen]

This was truly inspirational. Thank you for sharing. There's power is sharing things like this. I was finally able to share my testimony on KZbin and though it's vulnerable, it's liberating! Good stuff

[@cromabu5090]

You don’t realise till you try and quit, I’m going through that now

[@drhfhs]

For 15 years... It's so hard to give up

[@rogerleonard2496]

I so respect this man for his humility and his honesty.

[@aldrincaraig3148]

Wow. This is shorter than any other ted talks but it hits me like a truck. Thank you Jason. May God bless you.

[@pandulani]

Nothing but love for this man for his courage to share his journey!

[@TechWiz1983]

This video was a real eye opener! After watching this I am encouraged to laugh at rejection-because it has no power over me! God bless you.

[@kimmolaine8069]

I appreciate the honesty. Though addictions and the causes for them, and how they show themselves, are always unique to a person. Sharing experiences with addiction is important in any case. I hope admitting weaknesses becomes less of a taboo as we go by.

[@shahzebliaquatali7078]

Wow! Thanks for sharing your genuine experience with us. It might help me to overcome my addiction.

[@FangCWAEmu]

Very late to the party, just wanted to comment that this year is the year I end this addiction. This really spoke to me. Thanks for the inspiration. I got this

[@lukeweyant6771]

Came here with different expectations for this talk, didn’t see what I was expecting to see. Great talk.

[@usmamaslam88]

Awesome Lecture. ! Hats off to the guy and sharing his insight . Thanks Sir !

[@jasonmahr6327]

Thanks!

[@XxAceTrainerGreenxX]

Reminds me of in a nutshell. Video on addiction. The lesson learned here is that we use addictions to numb the pain. It's counterproductive because it only makes things worse.

[@MrMcLoveski]

Thank you for sharing! Impacting so many lives! God bless

[@aceshigh23]

One of the best TED talks I've ever seen.

[@thomasmadison3896]

“The thing is, I’ve been living a lie.” Gary Fogel. “Just one? I’m living like 20,” George Costanza.

[@ianhill9246]

My whole life is a sham! 🤣🤣🤣

[@jaguarjj]

you're great and brave fellow, thank you for that talk man, bless you.

[@ahmadmontaser828]

The best speech in this topic I've ever seen. Thank you Jason.

[@ralphschranghamer2426]

THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT HELP, THANK YOU!!

[@MREGO871]

Wow what a talk, I have been a tad intrigued by this certain topic always but never really heard it broken down like this before, thanks again TED! ☮️ and ❤️ from Patrick Woodstock Watts!

[@ZENLASOL]

I’m seeing this 4 years after it was posted…. This was what I needed to change my life for the better. Thank you for this TED talk! I appreciate your vulnerability 💕

[@CB-bk9xj]

Thankful for this mans HUMILITY and STRENGTH. Jason, your ability to be honest and vulnerable.. has touched the hearts and changed the lives of many. God Bless You

[@jasonmahr6327]

Thank you so much!

[@adamcleare8606]

Thank you for sharing, it must have been tough. Live Strong

[@nyimbonizipendazo]

The deepest need of human beings is the need to be loved, accepted and appreciated!

[@testimony-]

Awesome talk, thank you a may God bless you my brother

[@RaisedByWolves79]

Thought provoking video that many of us can relate to, whether we'd admit it or not. Thank you for this.

[@cg8835]

Maybe the best video I’ve ever seen at all. Thank you immensely

[@navellparham7209]

Great Speech! I'm sure we all can relate to his story in some form of fashion. I was addicted to masturbation in my adolescent years and they were the worst years of my life when it should've been the opposite way around. Thankfully I've been able to develop self control and now I'm much more confident in my interactions than I was before. Love and light to those who are currently trying to rid themselves of addiction. As long you can see the light at the end of the tunnel you will eventually get there.

[@caroljones5941]

Thank you, Jason, for having the courage to share your testimony. I was married to a man who struggled with this subject for 44+ years of our marriage. At 44 1/2 years I walked out of the marriage. My guess is that he had so much guilt and shame that he couldn't own up to his addiction. Sadly, he died of Covid last year. For those of you who have succumbed to this addiction (and any other addictions) PLEASE get help. Have courage to face your weaknesses in order to restore trust between the ones you love. Hopefully you can make things right before the destruction of trust that happened to us. With God ALL THINGS are possible. Be honest with yourself and the ones you love. Be strong and courageous so you can testify like this brave man has done.

[@alastairthomson3572]

What an amazing analysis of such an important issue of our time

[@freivonx]

That is true strength!! He shows himself very vulnerable and not as that unreachable perfect idol. But many of us only talk here in the comment section, anonymously on the internet, but not in real life. This already is part of the problem I guess. Any germans here btw?

[@timcarp1964]

Way to be brave bro. MANY of us can totally relate. I have been in recovery for 8 years. I would say you should find a real community of other guys who struggle. Like you have indicated there's a real need underneath, but it's not always the need of approval. It varies by person.

[@lurkingshadows4800]

saw someone naked online oh god I need to recover

[@nathanieltomaquin7377]

can i ask something?

[@timcarp1964]

@Naithz Ananaz Not sure who you are directing the question to, but if it is to me then sure you can.

[@nathanieltomaquin7377]

ok thank you! i want to ask if i will be not do the jacolism in 1 month, do i can get a sick? because me and my friends talk about it that if we will be not put away our sperm cell we can get a sick is that true? i really want to know because im shy to ask my parents! sorry for my bad english !

[@timcarp1964]

Jacolism. Haven't heard that before but I think I understand what you are asking. Stopping anything that has become habitual or compulsive won't be easy, but it won't make you sick. Contrary to popular thought your penis won't fall off if it's not used. You will be uncomfortable, very much so at times, but try to focus on the bigger picture of why you are doing this in those moments. Pray and ask God to help you do this. He will walk with you through this. Where are you from?

[@superfreshbiltz]

Relapsed after day 15, but weirdly, I don't feel saddened about it since I saw a glimmer of what my life could be. So I'm starting again, and taking it day by day with hope in my mind!

[@Scanlan5]

U. Offor good call and good attitude

[@mathieuleduc7028]

Most of the time the sadness is not there on the 1st time you do it. It will come around 1-2 weeks later when you realise you failed and did it every day and hide it to yourself

[@bigchump2561]

WOW, so much respect for him, wish every pastor was like him

[@ishalronv.t9806]

Great and valuable observation over addiction that real problem might be deep rooted in the form of thirst of approval.

[@bobmac9070]

Thank you this was really good to hear. I pray that all Christian men who fight this fight find freedom through God and remain in obedience to God 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@lawsonhung]

I just want to put this out there, that was an amazing speech. Big love to you, big guy.

[@zeinnerdepaula]

This slapped me across the face in such an unexpected way. Thank you

[@lwc1029]

Best to keep it short. This the shortest. Thus the best of TEDx.

[@moveinsilencegs5136]

Dude this is reality. I just quit but Man, it is the truth. I’ve been rejected by everyone in life. It didn’t complete me. It didn’t stop me. But it hurt me. It was acceptance by others and myself that has healed me somewhat. And hope itself also. There is more in life worth living. Because I’ve seen suffering

[@isaaczimmerman1911]

Been clean 41 days as of writing this and going strong with God at my side. This is a very VERY true video, I never thought of the lust for approval to be my problem, but looking back.. I see that it is a major factor in my addiction and over coming it. Thanks Mr. Mahr, you've given me a new angle to think about when tempted.

[@huskyfaninmass1042]

You'll just get horny and do it again

[@isaaczimmerman1911]

I know people will always try to bring me down. And I know I'm not perfect, But I got God on my side. And if I have him on my side, and I keep my eyes towards him I won't give into it.

[@jasonmahr6327]

Isaac Zimmerman you are welcome. Thanks for the encouraging word. Don't listen to the negative voices in regards to this issue! Let me know if I can help. Look me up on Facebook

[@isaaczimmerman1911]

Thank you for replying made me smile that you take the time to read the comments! Oh I know not to listen to the negativity, I feel it's just people trying to make me fail and bring me down to their level because they don't want to see others to succeed in something they don't have the guts to tackle. And perhaps I will look you up on Facebook someday! Greatly appreciate it, yours truly - Isaac Z.

[@huskyfaninmass1042]

Not trying to bring anybody down ~ Just being a realist ~ It's a natural deed and abstaining for religious reasons wont do you any real good

[@LokiBeckonswow]

epic talk man, good part about dealing with rejection

[@panagenesis2695]

Good point! Thanks for the talk!

[@thechad1400]

Approval? No, I don't think so. For many people, porn is a coping mechanism for major depression, albeit an unhealthy coping mechanism. Several good friends use porn to drown out traumatic memories, but it only made things worse. There is no one answer for why people use porn, and regardless of whether or not you look at it, I congratulate those who choose to gain control of their lives instead of letting porn control them.

[@hakeemsd70m]

Totally Rad Chad If it was only that easy to not let the evil demon that is porn control your life...congrats to you. I still suffer. 😭😭😭

[@davidmurphy4672]

Have you heard of escape? You can escape your problems watching tv playing video games and fapping.

[@blkmamba40]

would it help if I said coping mechanism?

[@EliasRockinBeatz]

"To drown out traumatic memories".. now guess what: How did they feel, when those traumatic incidents happened? They felt rejected, on a massively deep level. It all comes back to the one problem: Feeling rejected, thus feeling unimportant / irrevelant. Life then becomes meaningless, without meaning, our soul dies. That's why we fear rejection, althoug we don't know it consciously.

[@UndercoverSpill]

@@EliasRockinBeatz traumatic doesnt always mean rejection.

[@defryquan]

I look up to you because you’re able to acknowledge this fault that millions of men struggle through . A real winner doesn’t only admit defeat but analyzes why and grows because of it.

[@lifelonglearners9784]

Genuine and honest. Thanks for sharing

[@mufasa181]

Beautiful story ! Peace on all of you guys

[@VegardThefilmmaker]

Yes porn is the problem.. #nofap

[@JackSparrow-xo7xz]

Hah. It's only a problem if you're addicted.

[@mommy8406]

No it's a problem it's a sin

[@rohancornwall1022]

i agree.

[@rohancornwall1022]

Day 12!

[@Floxxoror]

Wrong. Effects take place, addiction comes quite late. Other come earlier.

[@LaraOsman]

Best ted talk ever!

[@christophersynnott7967]

Thank you for your honesty

[@The.Phobicist]

Great thing about our new media is, that it can expand minds and be seen years later for the first time and discussed and rediscovered by a new generation of people that have had the same experiences as them, during different times and still have the same meaning. Books started this idea, but they never gave the ability to have a discussion with someone years later that was affected by it in such a small timeframe, and have the ideas be seen by all at the same time.